Nascent Requiem
by Moonsilver Blade
Summary: Adjusting to life after Cocoon's fall is easy. But when a new fal'Cie plot arrives on the horizon and opens a gorge of endlessness beneath Lightning's feet, will she be able to handle it... and be happy again? Eventual HopexLightning. M for dark themes. COMPLETE. Updated for the sequel's announcement!
1. Thunder and Letters

**Hi guys!**

**I'm always reading your lovely fanfics on the FFXIII fandom here, but I've never written one myself. Well, ideas come to me randomly while I'm alone, and I get lots of inspirations from you all as well. I mainly started this fic because of some awesome ideas I had while replaying XIII for who knows what time.**

**Hm. While this fic is mainly action and explores some dark themes to the _Fabula Nova Crystallis _world, I also wanted to focus on Serah and Lightning's history _before_ XIII. I know some of it is explored in _Promise - Episode Zero_ but I also wanted to flush it out, and focus on Claire's transformation into Lightning.**

**Also, all that XIII-2 stuff?  
>Yeah, that's not here. Personally, I felt XIII-2 was a huge disappointment to XIII's hopeful ending, and totally killed the conclusion. XIII's ending left me feeling that while it's not totally "happy" in a sense, but Lightning &amp; party will be ok, that they'll survive after Cocoon's fall.<strong>

**Enough of me ranting about XIII-2. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer (since I noticed all the other fics have one): I don't own XIII. I wish I did, though.**

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><p><span>Chapter 1: Thunder and Letters<span>

6 years previously...

_Thunder crashed like cymbals in the dark sky, and lightning split the sky, momentarily lighting the earth beneath. However, the brief reprise of light that illuminated the dark hospital room was not enough to chase the blackness away._

_A slender pink haired girl sat beside the hospital bed, slim fingers curled around a pale, bony hand. Aqua eyes were narrowed to slits, and as tired as she was, never dared to close. Light snores came from a smaller girl with the same shade of pink hair in the corner, but apart from that and the beeps of the machines, there was no sound in the room._

_Brightness suddenly sliced through the darkness as a nurse opened the door. Noting the two young girls still next to their mother, she quickly stepped into the room._

"_Hun, the visiting hours are over. If you're not eighteen, you'll have to go home."_

_Quickly, the taller pinkette got up, slender hands curling into fists, trying to stop herself from shaking._

"_No." Her voice was hard, and her aqua eyes blazed with fire._

"_Sorry honey, but rules are rules. I can't let you stay because it's hospital protocol. If you insist on staying, I'll have to call the security." She watched as the older sister went to her younger sister, gently shaking her awake. _

"_Honey, I hate to tear you away from your mother, but you really –"_

"_I know!" The girl's voice was suddenly harsh. "You don't have to tell me twice."_

"_Claire…" The younger girl's voice had a gentle tone of reproach to it, but her older sister ignored her. _

"_Serah, let's go." Dragging her younger sister by the hand, she brushed past the somewhat stunned nurse, and headed down the dimly lit hallway. Not hesitating at the entrance of the hospital, she stepped out into the rain, not caring about getting wet. _

"_Claire, you're going to get sick…" Serah's voice trailed off at the look in her sister's eyes. Suddenly not sure if she knew her sister at all, Serah looked away from those blazing turquoise eyes, afraid that her sister was going to lose it._

_Turning away from Serah, she let the rain wash the tears on her face away. Those tears, dropping like the pearls of a broken necklace, never to be put together again. Like the raindrops that would never again return to the sky where they came from. She vowed that this would be the last time she cried again. She knew her mother would die tonight – the doctors had predicted it, and she wasn't stupid – the nurse had driven them out because she hadn't wanted them to be there… for that moment._

_And when the phone call had reached their house the following morning, she'd made Serah go away while she talked to the doctor as he confirmed her thoughts. While Serah had locked herself away in her room, crying, she went outside, standing in the unrelenting rain, watching the bright flashes of lightning carve jags of light in the grey skies. Even the skies looked like they were mourning for their mother. As the boom of thunder faded away, she looked down at her soaked clothes, the ones she hadn't bothered changing out of since last night. A bright flash lit up the silver pendant on her chest, and she looked up again._

_That was the moment she decided on her new name. There would be no more "Claire" – Claire was a girl who had been scared of losing her mother, who had played happily with her younger sister, who had been her parents' "spoiled little girl". _

Lightning.

_It flashed bright, but only for a moment._

_It can't protect, it only destroys._

_Lightning._

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><p>Lightning raked her hands through her pink hair, reaching for her omega weapon, and sliding it into the holster strapped behind her. She heard someone come up the stairs, and sighed. She knew who it was. Hearing something scrape at the keyhole in her door, she stalked over, and flung it open, staring angrily down into the surprised and playful look in her sister's face.<p>

"Serah, why is it that you have to pick open my door every time you want in? There's a polite way called _knocking_, you know?"

Serah looked at the angry look on her sister's face, but she knew her sister wasn't really mad with her. Being sarcastic and aggressive was her sister's usual way of dealing with minor things that irritated her.

"But Claire… you never open it when I knock," she whined.

"That's because you always come in with that oaf of yours, I'd rather not have him see the inside of my room and mess it up. Not to mention—"

But Lightning didn't get to finish before the oaf in question lumbered up the stairs, shouting for his wife at the top of lungs. Shaking her head, Lightning brushed impatiently past them, and none too discreetly stomped downstairs. Nodding at Hope's greeting to her, she went to grab something quick from the fridge before heading for the door.

"Claireeee, wait!" Her sister's voice echoed down the stairs, followed by quick small footsteps, and also ones that sounded like they belonged to someone who weighed twice as much as her sister did.

Lightning didn't reply, crossing her arms and tapping her foot impatiently, holding open the door. Her sister bounced downstairs, one hand holding Snow's giant hand, the other brandishing a bundle of paper of sorts.

_Gross._

_Serah, you could do so much better._

But whatever made her sister happy – Lightning knew that Snow cared about Serah as much as she did, even though that didn't make his antics any easier to deal with, and certainly not less annoying.

"Claire, will you mail this for me? Please?" Her sister turned her hopeful, puppy dog eyes on her.

Lightning rolled her eyes.

"Playing cute won't cut it, Serah. What's this?"

Her sister fumbled a bit, leaning into Snow, and trying to avoid her gaze.

"Well, we need some supplies from the store in town, and I don't really want to walk all the way there to pick it up. I'd send Snow, but…"

"But what, baby? I'd love to pick up stuff for this household, even if it means walking to town." Serah threw her arms around her husband again, and Lightning pointedly looked away from them.

_You guys are disgusting. _

"You guys done?" She cut in before she had to look at them kiss again.

Flustered, Serah brushed her pink hair away from her eyes, and tore herself away from Snow, turning her attention back to her sister.

"Well, like I was going to say, no offence, Snow, but you'd probably forget some of the stuff we need, and Hope can't go by himself. I'd call Sazh, but it's hard for him to get up here with Dajh… Anyways, the girl who owns the store said we could mail down a order and she'd have someone deliver it…"

Lightning sighed, snatching the envelope from her sister.

"You guys are going to make me late for work," she snapped, slamming the door behind her. She heard the echoes of Snow's and Hope's laughter as she started on the path down the gentle mountainside to New Bodhum.

_Great. Now I'm a messenger girl._

* * *

><p>Stopping at the check in centre of the Guardian Corps Head Office, Lightning went to drop her stuff off at her locker. Pausing when she got to it, she noticed a suspicious note taped ostentatiously to it.<p>

_Probably another hate note._

Lightning was used to her share of the haters, people who called her "murderer of Cocoon", and other lovely comments, amongst other things. She'd gotten used to it by now, ignoring the people who sent the hate her way. And if they took things too far? Well, there was always her gunblade…

Ripping the note off her locker, she spared one glance at it before moving towards the trash to toss it.

_Don't think you'll get away with destroying Cocoon so easily, **l'Cie.**_

_There's much more to the fal'Cie than you think._

_Tell me. _

_How **did** you escape being crystallized?_

_You think you were let off the crystal hook after a few minutes, weren't you?_

_Well, let me tell you this:_

_Once the being that "freed" you from crystal stasis disappears, what do you think you'll be?_

_That's right._

_You'll just be…_

"…a l'Cie who has completed her Focus," whispered Lightning. Standing petrified for a few heartbeats, she suddenly had a desperate need to get rid of the piece of paper, to disassociate herself from it.

Ripping the note into pieces, she threw the remnants of it into the trash, breathing heavily and shaking. She gripped her gunblade, hoping that holding her weapon would calm the raging swirl of emotions and thoughts.

Lightning was never one to believe magic and all that mumbo jumbo; when she first became a l'Cie she didn't want to accept that it was happening to her. And all that Eidolon stuff? Well, Odin was handy in a pinch, but sometimes she did wonder if she really did hit her head on that Purge train. But this… This took things to the next level. Not only did it coincide with her own suspicions about their brief crystal stasis, but it also implied a threat, and not only to her. Sure, the other haters had muttered things, but one flick of her omega weapon opening and they scattered like bees before a fire.

And this wasn't just about her.

Hope. Serah. Sazh. And yes, even Snow.

Dread swam through her stomach.

* * *

><p><strong>So oh no!<strong>

**I do realize that Etro saves Lightning and the rest of the party by releasing them from crystal stasis, but as I said, I'm not a fan of the XIII-2 mythology mumbo jumbo, to paraphrase Light. I like "down to earth" stuff, and the fal'Cie will certainly be making a return in my fic. ** **As for which ones, well, we'll see. n_n**

**I have no Beta Reader, so any and all mistakes are mine. Please point them out so I can fix them for all future readers!**

**Read and review, my lovelies, and hopefully Chapter 2 won't take so long for me to write.**


	2. Shadows

**So yay, Chapter Two!**

**First off, a big thank you to my reviewer - so sweet of you to review just 2 hours after I put it up, and I'm glad you're enjoying it.  
><strong>

**A note on the name of this fic - yes, it was inspired by the final battle theme of FFXIII, the one that plays just as you're about to fight Orphan's second form. It happens to be one of my favourite themes from the soundtrack - if you don't own it, get it. Actually, make that the entire soundtrack. While not up to say, Advent Children's soundtrack level of awesomeness, certain tracks are still really good. :3  
><strong>

**So yes, we continue, what's Light gonna do about the note now that she's read it?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own XIII - if I did Light would _not_ have ended up... how she ended up in XIII-2.  
><strong>

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><p><span>Chapter 2: Shadows<span>_  
><em>

_Crunch crunch crunch crunch…_

Lightning kicked aside small flowers on the path to their home, past the edges of New Bodhum. Who cared about nature when… She forced herself to calm down. If she burst through the door wearing an expression like thirty Adamantortoises were after her, Serah would panic, and she did not need to see Light lose it.

Pausing at the top of the small mountain top, Lightning took a few calming breaths before walking to their front door and fishing out her keys.

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><p>Deep in the bowels of Gran Pulse lay a certain fal'Cie. Still smoldering from the impact that was Cocoon's fall, several scientists surrounded it. Poking at it, they jumped back when it sparked a little. Watching his underhands collect specimen samples from the dying fal'Cie, the scientist in the shuttle that had brought them deep below Gran Pulse wrote notes furiously on his notebook. If one fal'Cie could wake l'Cie from crystal stasis, who could say that another couldn't be used to put the same l'Cie back into crystal stasis? And on the wide expanse of Gran Pulse, who was to say that the fal'Cie were the only beings that ruled the land? Certain portions of mythology from the time of the War of Transgression pointed at "Guardians of Pulse" so to say, and who knew what kind of power they had, if they existed?<p>

And if they did, and humans could harness that power, who needed to be scared of l'Cie anymore?

* * *

><p>Lightning refrained from telling her sister, Hope, and Snow about the note on her locker until she'd finished washing the dishes, and threw the rag down onto the counter. She was so absorbed in her thoughts she didn't hear Snow coming up behind her - a first.<p>

"Sis, you look angry at something. Is it something soldier girl needs a hero to help with?" Of course the big man would be the first to catch onto her being ticked off; he was the one getting the brunt of it most of the time.

"Sit down on the couch, get Serah and Hope, and maybe I'll tell you," she snapped back. She didn't mean to be short with him, well, maybe she did, but she certainly didn't need his "hero" antics just now. She made sure he'd gathered everyone before loudly clanging the dishes into the cupboard. Hopefully they were all sitting down; she didn't need a riot once she told them. Still, she waited a few moments before emerging into the living room, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"So what's this about, Sis?" Of course Snow would be the first to snap into the questions. Anything to make Light uncomfortable. "You run into someone unpleasant at work? Need a hand with them or somethin'?"

Lightning slowly turned to face her sister's husband – she refused to call him brother in law just yet. Her right hand itched to pull out the gunblade and throw it at the "hero's" face, but Serah didn't need to see that.

"Snow, not everyone's lives are as happy go lucky as yours, okay? But in case it was the happy little fairytale you were dreaming of, this is going to be a big eye opener, because whether you like it or not, someone wants to pop our bubble."

Lightning didn't dare catch Serah's eye when she told them about the note, not wanting her sister to feel like she was being threatened at work or something along those lines. She knew Serah had felt that way ever since she'd joined the army as soon as she graduated high school. She found comfort in leaning against a wall, her hand now curled around her weapon. It always made her feel better – perhaps it wasn't the healthiest hobby for a young woman, but what did she care? It wasn't like she was going to be interested in anyone.

To her surprise, there was no panic just yet. They sat there, just looking stunned and confused, before Hope broke the silence.

"So wait. Someone's out to get us – by killing or destroying, or whatever, the thing that brought us back?" Hope's voice was quiet.

Hope. The little kid she'd unconsciously taken on as a younger sibling, a son, almost to her. He'd grown so much since he decided to follow her in the Vile Peaks, and Light _was_ proud of him. He was like… what she _should_ have done with Serah, but back then she had been too occupied with putting food on the table and a roof over their heads.

_Still. I wasn't a good sister. That's why… this time, I _have_ to make sure she'll be okay… Scratch that. Not just Serah. I promised to look out for Hope too... And that oaf, well, if Serah lost him...  
><em>

"Claire?" Her sister's voice was quiet. "What are you going to do about it? I mean, we can help you if you need it, but what are we going to do?"

And of course, Snow was the first to respond.

"What are we going to do about it? We're gonna track this freak down and deal with him, of course!"

"Really?" commented Lightning dryly. "And how do you plan to track him down? Hide out in my locker and hope he tapes another note to it?"

She was tired of Snow's "hero" antics. She really was. When would he understand that not everything was as simple as black and white? Sure, his stubborn optimism was what kept her going during their journey, but barging through and crashing everything was not an option anymore. It worked in Eden; it wouldn't work here.

"Well…" the big man scratched his bandanna, a thoughtful look on his face, and Lightning suppressed the urge to snort – looking serious did not suit Snow.

"Exactly. You can't," she hissed. "So we're going to have to be more creative."

* * *

><p>Serah watched the expression on her sister's face turn into the hard, cold, soldier expression she'd known for years. <em>Obviously Sis has some sort of plan already, and you can bet it's dangerous.<em>

Serah wished her sister wasn't so… overprotective of people she cared about. Yes, she knew Lightning didn't tolerate her husband, but that was only on the outside. The journey had lasted in their hearts, and the fact that Light didn't snap at Snow everytime he called her "Sis" proved that. But Claire didn't need to… feel as if it was her personal responsibility to make sure everyone was safe.

She watched her sister pace around the living room, her brows furrowed, obviously deep in thought. Snow twitched beside her on the couch.

"Hey Sis? Mind telling us… what your great plan is?" His voice was a little tentative.

Serah watched Light whip around.

"Yeah, I'll tell you what it is. You know the fal'Cie he mentioned? The one who's supposed to be responsible for turning us back? Well, we find him first."

A stunned silence met Lightning's words.

_Obviously it was something dangerous. I knew Claire would try for something like this._

"This is what you call creative, Sis? Not that I'm not all for crashing around Gran Pulse. And if we meet Mr. Creeper looking for the same fal'Cire, well, that's good for us, right?" Obviously Snow wouldn't object - he'd crash into anything, and that was what Serah admired about him - he wasn't afraid to do what was right when it came down to it. But was doing what was right mean going about it the right way? Serah wasn't sure about that.

"Light?" It was Hope. "Do you know… what this fal'Cie is?"

Lightning shook her head. "But we'll find it," she said grimly. "What else is there to do?"

And that was the precise moment all the lights in the house turned off.

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><p><strong>So yes. I hate to leave you guys on a cliff hanger, feel free to speculate as to what happens next! (Of course, I already know, but I'll keep that over your heads for a little while longer)<strong>

**Who is creepy scientist dude at the beginning of the chapter, and why does he think he can use dead fal'Cie? Is he crazy? (Well, maybe he is, but well...) **

**Still no Beta, so please point out any grammar errors and such so I can fix em.  
><strong>

**Oh yes. One more request for you all.  
>I'd like to keep the characters as "in character" as possible, so I want to make Lightning, Snow, Serah and all the rest (though admittedly Hope hasn't had a huge part just yet) believable and I'd like to keep them as how they were presented in the game. Please let me know how I've done with them so far? I know the only thing I've really played up is Lightning being ticked off at Snow, but I'd like to keep OOCness out of this as much as possible. Suggestions at improvements on character impersonation welcomed! (: <strong>

**Read and review, as always!  
>Feed the review monster, and I'll do my best to get the next chapter up by the weekend - it's back to school for me tomorrow and I won't have as much time, however the next chapter is already all planned out so hopefully it won't take as long.<br>**

** Mwah.  
><strong>


	3. Moonlight and Shattered Glass

***meekly peeks out***

**Hi guys! Before I start off with my usual Author's Note, I'd like to share this with y'all: Square Enix has just announced today that the Lightning DLC Episode for XIII-2 will be coming out in mid-May, and it's called ****Lightning: Requiem of a Goddess****. (Rather fitting to the title of this fic, no? n_n) Anyways, I'm super excited now, and hopefully all of you who have completed/played/own XIII-2 will be able to play it with me when it comes out!**

**So once again, thanks for all the kind reviews! I promise not to accidentally spoil XIII-2 for anyone again. n_n**

**This chapter came earlier than expected - I had a spare block today, so I borrowed my friend's laptop, plugged in my USB, and got to work.**

**I'm glad you guys think I've gotten the characters right - I've got a sense of how to portray Light now, but Serah is noticeably harder. She didn't have much of a role in XIII and XIII-2 didn't reveal as much about her character as I wanted it to - she still comes off as a stereotypical female lead, if you know what I mean. **

**So I've taken the liberty to portray Serah as I imagined her in the original XIII - happy and eager to please, but also a little naive** **- definitely not as worldly as her older sister. She didn't come off as the type to ever have endorsed violence, nor experienced it first hand, in any way, so that's why you see her acting as she does in this chapter.**

**One more thing - there is a little action in this chapter, but I tried writing a full action scene for this chapter several times and I couldn't do it; it wasn't what I wanted it to go like. Light's omega weapon seems to freeze in my hands, and I'll be researching/practicing how to write convincing action before I attempt it again, but I ****will**** be putting action in future chapters, rest assured!**

**Disclaimer:**** XIII belongs to... not me.**

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><p><span>Chapter 3: Moonlight and Shattered Glass<span>

Lightning's fingers drew the gunblade she'd been holding onto for awhile. Shoving Serah and Hope roughly behind her, she unfolded the omega weapon into sword mode, holding it in front of her in attack position.

Glass shattered somewhere upstairs, and instantly she shifted her attention to the stairs.

Snow had already stomped over to the bottom of the steps, peering upwards into the gloom. He'd started up the stairs when Light reached her hand out – surely Snow couldn't be _that_ reckless.

"Claire…" she heard Serah whimper behind her. "Don't do anything dangerous…"

Glancing back at her sister and Hope, who'd fumbled for his boomerang, she realized going upstairs to stop Snow wasn't the best idea. They looked so _vulnerable_ standing there, clinging to each other, with Hope trying to put his arm in front of Serah.

_I can't leave them here._

Serah wasn't a fighter, and as for Hope, physical attacks hadn't been his forte. With their magic gone, Hope was about as useful as…

"Light. Go after Snow, we'll be fine."

She shook her head, not trusting herself to leave them.

_Snow, well, I trust that he's got some sort of self defence thing going for him. But Serah, who hated the idea of me being a soldier, and Hope, who's really still a little kid…_

The next shattering of glass, much closer, distracted Lightning from any more thoughts about whatever Snow was doing to whatever was upstairs.

* * *

><p>Dark shapes loomed against the silhouettes of windows across the living room. Big dark shapes. And for some reason, they didn't look… human.<p>

"Stay behind me," she hissed to Hope and Serah. "And whatever you do, don't think about running upstairs, or getting out of my sight."

Serah watched her sister move towards the… _things._ Even she who had never seen a monster before knew they weren't humans. Or anything remotely like a human, from the way they lumbered.

_Gran Pulse creepy crawlies, or…?_

The sickening sound of metal and bullets on flesh hit her ears, and Serah cringed. Briefly, she wondered about Snow, and what he was doing upstairs. She hoped he was okay – he'd better be okay…

"_I control my own fate!"_

Her sister's voice brought her out of her scared, desperate thoughts. Light and Snow… they were fighting again, and…

"Serah! Move!" She was roughly shoved by Hope as he pushed her out of the way of a falling monster, while throwing the boomerang at another one that was closing on her sister. But he hadn't pushed her fast enough, and in her frightened state a claw caught her arm.

She let out a scared shriek, causing her sister to turn around.

"Serah!" Her sister's voice was urgent, and Serah suddenly hated herself for distracting her sister in a fight.

"I'm… I'm okay. Claire, just fight!" She hoped her voice sounded reassuring. She hoped it was – anything to make Claire concentrate on the fight again.

_Claire… You try so hard to protect all of us, and here we are in a real fight, and everyone is trying to help…except me._

* * *

><p>The last monster fell with a thud as Lightning swiped the omega weapon at the same time Hope threw the boomerang at its head… or where its head was supposed to be, anyways.<p>

She could hear the thumping upstairs begin to cease as well – hopefully that meant Snow was okay.

_Well, he'd better be. He's much too stubborn to die like this, at any rate._

Carefully making her way to the door to the garden, trying to avoid stepping on what she could only assume were monster remains, Lightning quickly checked the space outside. A full moon was shining, and its light shimmered off the millions of flowers and other greenery that dominated Gran Pulse in the spring. Its tranquility was a cruel ironic reminder of the dead monsters that lay littered around her living room.

A sudden beam of light cut through the dark grass, and Light turned around. Someone had turned the living room lights back on, and she saw Hope standing sheepishly by the light switch.

"You fixed it?" she asked suspiciously.

"Nope, I just thought I'd try it and it worked."

_Well that's odd. I thought the monsters must have killed the power lines… or something. But if he's able to turn them on again without much trouble then that means someone has access to our power grid. And that means whoever sent these monsters here has some connections real high up in Pulse Management._

Before she could continue to speculate as to who ordered the attack on them, Snow barreled downstairs, hollering his wife's name.

_Discreet as ever. What if there were more monsters? He's a walking target._

By the time Light had stepped over the monsters again, Snow had Serah bundled in his coat; whispering to her and hugging her, trying to calm her down. She knew Serah wasn't used to combat, and the fact that Lightning fought pretty much everyday was a fact Serah hated.

But what dropped her stomach to the ground was the smear of red on the floor, and it wasn't the bluish slime from the monsters either.

"Serah, Serah, look at me! Are you okay?" Her voice was frantic – if Serah was hurt…

A small face framed by pink hair peeped out from Snow's coat.

"A little, but it's not bad, Claire, I promise."

Lightning ignored the fact that she knew Serah was trying not to worry her.

"Show me," she demanded. Hopefully it wasn't serious, like Serah had said…

A line of red down her arm. Bleeding a little, but whatever had snagged her in passing either hadn't put much force into the blow, or it wasn't alive to put force into the blow.

"A claw caught me, Hope tried to warn me, but it's not bad, Claire, honest."

Lightning glanced up to see that Hope had already run for the first aid kit.

_Something else I should have done. _

_The kit was upstairs in the bathroom, what if there had been more?_

But Snow had already snatched the kit from Hope, and was cleaning the cut before Light could touch it.

"There you go, baby. Does it feel better now?"

Serah giggled, despite the fact that she still looked scared.

"Thanks, hero! You're the best." Light could tell that Serah was trying to pacify the big man, but that didn't mean…

_She's still scared. And now she'll be scared of what might happen when I return to work. I never told Serah about work, and this is just more proof why I shouldn't._

_Serah…_

* * *

><p>Serah was safely snuggled against several pillows on the couch, several blankets wrapped around her knees. Hope had made himself a nest of blankets and other assorted cloths on the next sofa.<p>

Claire had insisted that they all sleep downstairs tonight, in the same room.

'_Who knows if they'll be back?' _was her excuse. And so, she'd forced Hope and Serah to make themselves comfortable on the couches, while she and Snow worked out a watch shift. And Claire, being Claire, had insisted on the first shift. Serah could see her from where she was resting – she was on a stool beside the broken patio window, silhouetted against the moonlight.

She observed Hope's movements out of the corner of her eye – _he _hadn't looked scared when Claire was fighting those monsters. _He _hadn't cowered away from them, in fact, he'd been eager to help Claire out. And he was four years younger than her.

_Shouldn't I have been more of a help? Am I really that useless? Claire's always been super protective of me, but…_

"Hey. You okay?" Hope's quiet voice broke into her thoughts.

She nodded. "Just a little… overwhelmed and scared… I guess."

"You know, I felt like that when we first became l'Cie. There were so many monsters, and well, Light was so... intimidating. Not that I'm insulting her or anything - " He broke off awkwardly at this, and both of them glanced to where Light was perched the stool. She didn't seem to have heard them - she looked deep in thought.

Serah smiled lightly, knowing what Hope meant.

"Don't worry, I know what you mean. She's a little scary, if you don't know her."

Hope nodded, looking sheepish, but glad that Serah knew what he meant.

"Anyways, I mean, I couldn't really accept it – it felt like everything was being dropped on me at once." His voice was thoughtful again, searching for the right words to explain.

"Didn't it scare you?" Her own question embarrassed her – it betrayed her current feelings.

"A little. But don't worry, you get used to it. I mean – not like that you'll fight everyday or anything, that's not what I meant! But that feeling goes away – you learn to be more confident...? I don't really know how to say it... Besides, I know Light and Snow will want to protect you for sure. So… don't be scared, okay?"

Serah didn't know how to reply, instead burying her face in some pillows. He looked so _relaxed_. Like a small encounter with some monsters didn't really matter. But she supposed he _was_ used to it – he must have fought his fair share of them in their journey. But in this sense he was also more experienced than she was, and she did appreciate him trying to help her out. Hope was a good kid, like her sister had said. No wonder Claire had a soft spot for him. And when Hope asked to stay with them after he couldn't find his father? It had been no surprise Claire had agreed.

But her thoughts were broken off when Snow plomped himself down beside her, pulling her to his shoulder.

"Shhh, baby, it's okay. Sis and I got this. Just go to sleep, and everything will be okay."

His soothing voice, his warmth - finally it made Serah feel safer, and she let her eyes close.

* * *

><p>"<em>Claire, you're not going to join the army. You're not!"<em>

_Her older sister whipped around, anger clear in her eyes._

"_Don't call me Claire! It's _Lightning. _" Claire's blue eyes were blazing with an anger Serah had never seen in them before, and she took a step back. Her sister had never acted like this before – she'd always listened to Serah's suggestions, looked annoyed but laughed when Serah teased her, and now…_

"_I _am_ going to join the army. There is _no _other way." Her voice was firm._

"_Claire, you just graduated high school. I'm sure if you went to college, or got more education, we'd be okay..." But Serah's voice trailed off at the look on her sister's face._

_"No, Serah! I only budgeted the money Mom left us for two and a half years. We _don't have the time_ for me to finish any sort of education. I've already handed in the application, the lieutenant in charge has already contacted me, I'm GOING and that's that!"_

_And Lightning had refused to listen to another word on the subject._

_Claire hadn't always acted like this. But the Claire Serah knew was gone, hidden past the impassive cold mask that she put on every day as "Lightning". And try as she might, Claire just... didn't listen to Serah anymore. She made her own decisions, and Serah started seeing her less and less. The only remnants of Claire she'd find most days was the pile of money she'd leave on the table for groceries - Claire paid all the other bills on her own._

_Serah would wait for her every night, but Claire didn't even come home all the time now - sometimes a mission to Bodhum's swamps and marshes, or Euride Gorge would be a overnight thing, and Claire wouldn't return until the following evening - often after Serah had fallen asleep waiting for her._

_But she'd always wake up in her own bed, blankets drawn carefully over her the next morning._

_So Serah had clung to those little gestures her sister still did as the vestiges of the person she once knew as Claire, and hoped fervently that one day, when she was old enough to help out, that she could bring Claire back from Lightning._

* * *

><p><strong>So yes, some more pre-Episode Zero scenes, and this is always how I imagined Light became a soldier - not because she wanted to but because they needed the money and Light didn't have the chance to go to college. From the way Serah acts, I think it's also pretty clear she didn't want her sister to be a soldier, but hopefully you guys like the way I've interpreted that part of their relationship.<strong>

**And as for Hope, well, he and Serah are of similar age - I always thought they'd be good friends after the events of XIII, so that's how I'm gonna continue their relationship in this fic. Of course, Snow might not have liked the little interaction he and Serah got in this chapter, but there's SerahxSnow moments planned out, so please be patient if you're waiting for that! **

**Update - March 22, 2012:  Originally this last part of this A/N was me stating that this wouldn't be a Hoperai fic, but as I realized whilst working out some plot details, it was going to be inevitable. Haha, Chapter 16's end A/N has the details on this change, but I thought I'd update it here too. (:  
><strong>

**As always, feed the review monster (still no Beta - though I'd like one ;o;) with your suggestions and comments, and I'll put your love for this fic to good use by hopefully putting up the next chapter by Saturday if not tomorrow evening.**

**Thanks again, my lovelies! (:**


	4. Blinded by Light

**Hey there!**

**Once again I managed to beat my own deadline - just goes to show how magic can happen when you sit yourself down and let yourself be inspired by your thoughts.  
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**So once again, thanks to all the reviews (even if you don't agree with my ideas/where I'm going with this - and that's okay; not everyone can accept what others like) and the people who have added me to story alert - you guys know who you are, and it really makes me want to keep going, knowing that you guys care about this fic! (Special shoutout to Sniperrolf & ziel101)  
><strong>

**So finally some Serah & Snow moments for those who've been waiting for it! It's my first try at some fluff? I think is what you guys call it here? Anyways, me trying to portray some cutesy scenes between the two, hope I got their interaction right. n_n  
>Let me know how I did.<br>**

**Disclaimer: Don't own XIII, never will.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 4: Blinded by Light<span>

Lightning stretched tiredly as the sun peeked over the distant horizon, illuminating the crystal shell of Cocoon just a little bit to the east of New Bodhum. Snow had been meant to take the next shift, but when she'd walked over to wake him, the sight of him curled protectively around her sister had stopped her. She didn't need to ruin that moment.

_Sure, he'll probably hate me for it in a bit, but he was there for Serah last night. He calmed her down, and well, I know she needs him…_

Hope was the only one who she'd awakened as she walked in the now non existent patio door, her boot accidentally crushing pieces of glass on her way in.

"Sorry," she muttered, raking her hands through her messy pink hair. She stifled a yawn, watching the teenager pick himself up off the couch and make his way over to her.

"You alright, Light?" There was concern in his voice.

_And there would have been a time where I would have snapped at you for caring about me. But you're still a kid, and I know that… well, shutting people out isn't always the best thing to do. You taught me that._

She sighed. "Well, I suppose I could have seen better days, but nothing a couple cups of coffee wouldn't fix. A good hour or two wouldn't hurt either."

She examined the teenager carefully, taking in his tousled bed head and his rumpled clothes, resisting the small urge to laugh.

"You okay, though, Hope? None of those creeps got you, did they?"

It felt natural for her to care about him in a way she couldn't achieve for Snow. Maybe it was because he was younger than her, or because she knew… well, in any case, he was like the little sibling she had to protect.

"Nope." His offhand voice suited the crumpled silver hair at the back of his head.

"Light?"

She answered his query with a hum, observing the sun rising just over the bottom curve of Cocoon's crystal.

"Who d'you think ordered those monsters here?"

Lightning turned around, crossing her arms over her chest. Obviously Hope caught onto these things much faster than Snow, and for the kid to have thought of the possibility of it not being an accident just showed…

…_how much he's learned from us, and how much he's grown._

She made her way over to the armrest of the couch, sitting down on it and flicking her cape behind her.

"Well, let's see now… We know that whoever is after us, presumably the same person who's claiming he can kill a fal'Cie, or whatever - knows who I am and where I work. That's classified info to begin with. Military files are not available to just anyone. In fact, I think you have to be cleared by a certain level at Pulse Management to even have access those files."

Hope nodded as Lightning furrowed her brows, drumming the fingers of one gloved hand on her other arm.

"And then there's the power issue. You turned the lights back on after we killed those monsters, which means it wasn't broken. First off, that means whoever it is knows where we live. Second, they'd have to be pretty important at Pulse Management to have access to any power grid, and be able to turn it on or off at will."

"So that means they're someone important, right?" Hope's voice suddenly turned harsh, reminding her of the way he'd spoken in the Gapra Whitewood when he'd planned Operation Nora.

"Exactly," she growled. "Which means, they're serious, and so we'd better get serious about this. I'll ask Amodar to look into the power issue when I go back to work tomorrow, but if they're as high up as I think they are, he won't find anything."

She made her way tiredly into the kitchen, hoping to find some coffee in a cupboard.

_Anything to stop that oaf of Serah's from calling me a zombie when he stops snoring._

* * *

><p>Serah woke to the soft snort of Snow in her ear, and the creak of the couch as he turned. She hoisted herself over the mess of blankets, and rubbed her eyes against the blinding morning light. She wondered for a moment why it was so alarmingly bright, before the sparkling dazzle of the pieces of glass on the floor caught her eye.<p>

_Oh, of course. Glass shards reflect light._

_But where did those monster remains go…?_

Serah tried to carefully ease Snow's arm off her stomach without waking him, but it didn't work – the moment she delicately dropped his thick arm onto his side, he woke with a snort.

He let out a huge yawn as Serah giggled. His bandanna was crooked, and his coat was all rumpled – but she did pause to admire just how sexy he looked when he was relaxed. His arms instantly wrapped around her.

"Hey baby, you okay now?" His voice was lowered to a coo as Serah snuggled against him.

"My hero always makes me feel better," she replied happily, and she was so absorbed into staring at Snow she didn't see her sister stalk out of the kitchen with a mug of coffee and with Hope trailing behind her, a cold waffle stuffed in his mouth.

"You guys are gross," her sister snapped. "I don't need to see that sort of thing first thing in the morning, okay?"

"But Claire…" Serah turned her voice into a somewhat indignant whine. "You wouldn't get it, you're not married."

Her sister let out an irritated snort. "After watching you guys cling to each other like that, I don't think I _want_ to get married, thanks." Serah was slightly annoyed to see Hope giggle through his waffle at this.

_Of course you'd take _her_ side to this._

But then Serah felt Snow tense beside her.

"Wait, Sis… didn't you—weren't you supposed to wake me up?" Snow sounded offended that Claire hadn't done whatever she was supposed to do.

Lightning crossed her arms over her chest, holding the mug with one hand, looking amused.

"Sorry, hero, you looked like a nice blanket for Serah, and I'd hate to take that away from her. Don't worry though, I didn't see anything I needed a hero to help with."

_Oh Claire, that's just your way of telling him you care. I know you pretend you can't stand him most of the time, but I know that you know he's part of your family... whether you like it or not.  
><em>

Serah watched her sister tramp upstairs, calling over her shoulder she was going to see exactly what Snow had done to her house the previous night.

_I guess that was a little too soon for that comment. Still, you _do_ care, don't you Claire?_

And it wasn't five heartbeats later that Lightning's furious shouts came from upstairs, causing Hope to drop whatever food he had gone back to the kitchen to look for, and Snow to quickly detach himself from her, and jump off the couch. Serah brushed off the rest of the blankets and scampered off after her husband and Hope, following them as they bounded up the steps.

Lightning was standing in the middle of the upstairs hallway, blue eyes blazing with fury.

"Snow. _What the hell did you do to my room? _It looks like a freaking –" And Lightning stopped herself before she finished her sentence, when she saw her sister glance awkwardly at Hope, before realizing she had been about to swear… worse than she already had.

"Awh, Sis, it's just a little mess… The monsters came through your room, and I hadta stop them before they got downstairs..." Snow's hopeful voice trailed off at the look on Lightning's face.

"You _had_ to mess up my room in the process, didn't you? And look what's on the wall – you _had_ to punch in several parts of the plaster as well? Is your aim that bad?"

And at this point Serah had to suppress a giggle. Claire was always complaining how messy Snow was, how he was trashing their house, which was why she wouldn't let him in her room. Claire was a neat freak to the point where Snow had thought she had obsessive compulsive disorder when it came to her room.

Lightning had stomped downstairs, dragging Hope with her, hissing that she'd better clean up the mess in the living room before she inspected the damages to the other parts of her house, Hope giving Serah a scared glance as she pulled him down by the hand – Serah didn't blame him, Claire looked ready to kill something.

She turned to her husband, finding that he looked embarrassed and sheepish after Lightning's furious outburst at him. And this time Serah couldn't contain the giggles, happy that she could find something amusing in all this.

"Snow, don't worry about it. You know how neat Claire insists on this place being, she's probably just upset that she has to clean her room now. You know how she is – she'll forget about it in a few hours."

"And yell at me for something else," he muttered darkly. But Serah was glad to see that his usual happy expression had returned to his face as he pulled her into his arms. Delicately, she reached up to give him a kiss.

* * *

><p>Lightning kicked through the remnants of glass on her floor.<p>

_That damn oaf just couldn't resist making a mess of my room, could he?  
>I freaking gave him and Serah the master bedroom for a reason.<br>_

Pulling a broom from the closet, she shoved a dustpan into Hope's hands, and they went around the living room, picking up the glass that lay littered in front of the patio window.

And that's when she came across something interesting – a torn piece of white cloth that hadn't vanished when the monster's bodies did. She inspected it closely, rubbing it between her fingers.

The texture was smooth – it reminded her of a doctor's coat, but her gut told her that that was unlikely. It was also worn, as if it had been washed thousands of times.

_Maybe not a doctor's, but a research lab coat…?_

"Hope," she hissed. The teenager came over, still holding the dustpan. She held out the scrap of material to him, and watched as he mulled it over.

"You found this?" He asked, and as she nodded, realization flashed in his eyes - understanding where she was going with this in an instant.

"So you think…"

"That whoever sent these monsters here owned whatever this came from. Looks like our assailant wasn't as clever as we thought he was."

Hope glanced at her again, and Lightning recognized the determined look on his face.

"And whoever he is," she snarled, voice lowering to a growl, "he'd better be ready to answer some of my questions."

* * *

><p><strong>And oooh, the ominous Lightning threat we're all so used to!<strong> **Whoever owns that coat (yes, it was a lab coat) had better watch out, Light is not happy and she's not afraid to show she's not!**

**If you're wondering what happened to the monster remains, you know how after you kill enemies in XIII and XIII-2, and they like, vanish into black smoke or fog or whatever you want to name that black stuff? Yeah, that's what I was trying to portray.** **(And why Serah doesn't know why they disappeared - she never fought in XIII, and XIII-2 is non existent in this fic) ****Probably not the way monsters actually die, but I wanted to make a spoof on Squeenix's convenient wa****y of getting out of making a dying animation, and also to spare Light from touching dead monsters on her living room floor, that neat freak.**

**Which brings me to my final point - Light freaking out cuz Snow messed up her room. In XIII Light came off to me as someone who would never ever lose or misplace something, who was always on time, etc. ****I wanted to goof around with my perception of her, hence, Light screeched her head off at Snow for putting holes in her walls.**

**Anyways, I have work all this weekend, so probably not much time to write (but once again this whole arc has already been planned out) so I'll try to get the next chapter(s?) up by Sunday. I know Sazh hasn't had a huge part yet - I've been saving him so I could give him a badass part in the next arc. 8D  
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**Review monster is always hungry - and still no Beta.**

**Mwah!**


	5. Blaze Edge

**Whee, Chapter 5!**

**I finished early yet again. I started writing this last night after I finished Chapter Four, and today I got off work early. (I work at a medical clinic, so if the doctor is done early I get to leave early) So, with all the love I got for Chapter Four, I was spurred on to finish Chapter 5 for you guys!**

**Speaking of the love for Chapter 4: thank you all so much, review monster feeders - you guys rock. Special shoutout to GCFarron, ziel101, and ****Sniperrolf.**

**Glad you guys seemed really amused by Lightning being all touchy over her room - she seemed like that kind of person to me. And yes, GCFarron, I suppose she would have to make her house Snow proof sometime soon, eh? Light isn't very happy she had to pay the bill for repairing her walls and the windows.**

**One last thing before I begin the chapter. This _is_ the longest chapter I've written so far, but it's also the most Lightning centric, and has almost no dialogue because of, well, I won't ruin it, but I'm sure you'll ****see why Light doesn't have a chance to talk much in this chapter. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer****: I don't own XIII.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 5: Blaze Edge<span>

Lightning lazily cleaned her omega weapon, brushing on more layers of polish before putting it down on her desk. Methodically, she checked her new grav-con unit, making sure it worked before reattaching it to her index finger on her left hand. It had been a week since the monsters had invaded their home, but apart from the sinister piece of cloth left behind, she hadn't gotten any new leads.

She'd reported the power issue to Amodar, and he'd tried to look into it, but as she predicted, he hadn't been able to find anything out. Obviously Pulse Management wasn't going to be easy to investigate, but then again, when did she ever let _difficult and dangerous _stop her?

So she was going to have to take things to the next level – and by herself. She'd secured herself a delivery job to Pulse Management; the building was a ways outside New Bodhum, as Management people came from all over – New Palum, Eden… Amodar had been surprised that she'd wanted to take a "boring" job – usually she liked to be out hunting Gran Pulse monsters. But what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him; he'd recommended she not look into Pulse Management by herself.

_Fat chance._

Stuffing her gunblade into its holster, she called a goodbye to Hope and Serah (thankfully, Serah had sent Snow on some errands so she wouldn't have to endure his usual comments) and walked out the door, picking up the pace as soon as she was out of view of the now repaired windows.

_Of course, the person who was responsible for breaking half of them didn't cough up his share of gil. Why am I not surprised?_

Dropping by the Guardian Corp building, she picked up the bag of letters, weapons, and new reports that were sent bi-weekly to Pulse Management. Data transferring was not yet available – trying to transfer stuff across Gran Pulse's mountain ranges was proving a little tricky for the techs, so usually it fell on some rookie to make the trip. Of course, she'd let the rookie off the hook this time – for a good reason.

Hoisting the bag over her right shoulder, she started down the path in the direction of Pulse Management, her thoughts drifting off as she hiked along the trail.

_Who could have gotten our information? Where I live, who, or what – I was, where I work, heck, even where my locker is. Also smart enough to know that I was a l'Cie, and clearly, knew about my Focus. Someone close to Barthandelus? Or Raines? They're the only people high up who I knew that knew about our Focus. So who could they have told?_

_PSICOM was disbanded, but that doesn't mean its members couldn't still be alive…_

* * *

><p>Serah glanced worriedly at the door. Claire hadn't acted like herself this morning.<p>

_She was little too eager to go to work._

And she was afraid that Claire had cooked up some dangerous plan to figure out about the note, the scrap of cloth, and whoever was after them. It wasn't that she didn't know Claire _did_ dangerous stuff; after all, this was the woman who'd voluntarily Purged herself, but it was…

_Claire doesn't exactly have people's normal standards of "dangerous". She doesn't see stuff as over her head until, well, until she can't fight anymore. _

Serah bit her lip again, glancing worriedly at the window. Hope was upstairs, and Snow wasn't back yet. She made a mental note to give her sister a call this evening when she was due to be off duty.

_She had better pick up her phone. Oh Claire, I hope you're not doing something dangerous…_

* * *

><p>Lightning had dropped the delivery package off at the office of the manager in charge of records. Luckily his office had been on the third floor, and she had never been there before, so it gave her an excuse to poke around some – she could always say she was lost if she was caught snooping where she wasn't supposed to.<p>

Quickly flipping through the directory at the third floor elevator, she noted that research labs were in the basement. The _only_ thing in the basement.

_Crap. That means there's no "lost" excuse if I snoop around there. _

Oh well. That just meant she couldn't get caught. A small smile formed on her lips – she didn't have the rough brawn her sister's husband had, but at least she didn't stomp around like an elephant with four left feet.

Creeping down the emergency stairs, Lightning carefully eased open the well oiled door to the basement, a harsh reddish glow suddenly striking her eyes. Slipping out from behind the doorframe, Lightning quietly shut it behind her, and looked for something nearby to hide behind so she could inspect her surroundings.

A column was a little way to her left, but that was all she could see that would offer some form of protection. Quickly stepping to it, she drew her gunblade.

_Well, probably not the most discreet if I slash someone with it, but…_

Footsteps somewhere in front of her made her freeze. She barely drew breath as the footsteps came closer – whoever it was must almost be at the other side of the column already. Pressing her slender form against the stone, she hoped the dim reddish light would help hide her.

As the footsteps passed her, she noted who it was – a small, balding man dressed in a lab coat. The swish of the coat caught her eye – it was _definitely _missing some cloth at its bottom, and it didn't look like it had frayed either. No, it looked like something had ripped part of it.

All of her senses screamed to rush over and demand answers from the man who hadn't even turned around to look behind him. Lightning forced herself to take some calming breaths, letting her soldier instinct kick in.

_I can't attack him here. If I do, I'm in deep shit if I'm found out, which I inevitably will be. But this lab doesn't look like the type of lab that breeds those monsters, if this is him I'm looking for. I can't even be sure that this is the guy – maybe this is too easy... But... he's the only lead I've got; I can't back down now._

Creeping silently after the man, she followed him out of the lab room. Clearly, the stairs didn't lead to the elevator entrance of the lab. Hiding behind some sort of hideous pot plant, Lightning eyed the man's passcode as he entered it to get on the elevator. And as soon as the doors closed, she darted out, punched in the man's passcode, and watched the light turn green.

_Thanks for the password to Pulse Management._

She carefully observed the elevator the man had gotten into, watching the red numbers tick on the display.

_Fifth floor, here I come._

Lightning knew she couldn't attack him in Pulse Management. And in times like these, she missed being a fugitive… almost.

_When you're already chased by the Sanctum, it really didn't matter that I attacked their creatures, and if I happened to take out a few PSICOM guys while I was at it? Well, that was just another bonus – less people chasing after me._

So she hid herself in some sort of closet of cleaning materials; conveniently placed so she could watch the man's office window from the tiny opening in the outer wall – some sort of vent, she supposed. Either way, she would have to watch him till he went home. So Lightning turned over a plastic bucket, sat down, and rested her chin on her hand, pulling the other through her hair. Pulling her cellphone out of the red pack on her thigh, she turned it off. If Serah called at some inopportune moment…

It was sunset before she noticed movement – the lab coat in white had gotten up. Instantly, Lightning pulled herself up from the bucket and made her way over to the vent, peering through it. It didn't seem like the man was in any hurry to go anywhere, nor did it seem that he'd noticed her. She watched as he exited one of the side doors, heading in the direction away from New Bodhum.

_Odd. Most people who work at Pulse Management live in New Bodhum – it's too far for most people from New Palumpolum or Eden to commute everyday. And we haven't gotten rails down on Pulse yet – so that means you either walk or ride a stinking chocobo. And he doesn't look like a chocobo would be able to hold him._

She waited until she was sure he wouldn't hear her following him. Lightning went out into the now darker hall – the lights had been turned off now that most of the people had gone home. She opened a window, and snapped two fingers on her left hand to activate the Grav-Con Unit.

Jumping down, she landed soundlessly behind a few bushes. Well, her _landing_ was silent, but the leaves of the bush rustled as she brushed by them. Through the spiky leaves, she saw the man turn around at the sound.

Thankful for the cover, she waited until he had turned around again, and that there was at least fifty yards between them before moving out of the bushes. Quickly, she set off at a brisk walk, mindful that she was stalking the man, which meant she had to be aware of her surroundings, but not taking her eyes off him.

* * *

><p>Night had fallen, and this man was still walking.<p>

_Just how far does he live from Pulse Management?_

Lightning was careful not to kick or disturb any of the wildlife that lined the rocky trail they were walking on now, but night crawlies were beginning to come out. And those monsters were certainly more observant than the man who she was following – her scent would betray her even if she was silent and concealed. And if something came and attacked her, well, there went her cover. Keeping her gunblade out, Lightning began to grow uneasy the further he walked.

_Is this man really this unobservant? Or has he been aware that I've been following him since hour one?_

Her stomach knotted in dread when she realized this could very well be a trap. Out here, he knew where he was going. She didn't. He knew the lay of the land, and she didn't. He could lead her right into one of the numerous cliffs and she could walk right into a trap.

Suddenly, the land began sloping downwards, and she began to make some lights out in the gloom. There was only one thing she could imagine being out here.

_A lab? How the hell did he manage to build a lab so far from New Bodhum? Who would have sponsored this?_

But Lightning didn't get to finish her thoughts before something large, much larger than her sprang in front of her with unnatural agility. She didn't even have to think before slashing down with her omega weapon, aiming for the shoulder. She'd seen the glint of claws in the moonlight, and she knew it wasn't one of the monsters she and Hope had so easily taken out in their living room. This one was engineered to fight, and to fight well.

_Bring it on._

Blocking a swipe from the monster, who vaguely reminded her of a Cie'th, Lightning got down below it, and aimed a slash of her own at its legs. Putting a well aimed bullet in its thigh slowed it down considerably, and she aimed for its head next. But just as her gunblade entered the temple of the monster, claws caught her from behind.

Lightning resisted the urge to cry out as she felt warmth spread from the back of her shoulder. Wrenching the omega weapon from the now dead monster, she whipped around and quickly swiped the weapon at whatever had its claws in her back. A low moan through the air told her that she'd gotten what she'd aimed for, and the monster slumped over backwards. Hearing more steps, Lightning raised her eyes to the horizon again.

There were five more silhouetted in the moonlight. And now that she was in the shadows and they were in the light, she could see them clearly. Ominous red eyes glared at her, their claws unnaturally large for their lithe shapes. And even though they looked slender, they were bigger than her. Their snouts created drooling sounds as they advanced slowly – a hunter's pace.

These were no ordinary monsters. Nor were they the Cie'th that still wandered in great numbers in Gran Pulse. In fact…

_They look like someone merged a Cie'th with a Silver Lobo._

Lightning didn't even bother wondering if that was possible. She let her instincts fly on the assumption that they could both attack and cast magic – she couldn't afford to let another bury its claws in her shoulder, which was beginning to throb now.

Jumping into the air, aided by the Grav-Con Unit, she landed on the back of the one that was in the lead. Aiming her gunblade at its head, she fired a round into the back of it, not taking any chances. The other ones had rushed over by that point, claws swiping for her. Kicking away the closest one, Lightning used the momentum from the kick to drive herself forward; her omega weapon found the ribs of another, and she dragged the blade up.

_Two down, three to go._

Dodging a Aerora from one of the other ones, Lightning used the few seconds she'd gained herself to reload the gunblade. The remaining three had mindlessly launched themselves forward at her at a flat run, red eyes now blazing with a feral hunger.

Quickly sidestepping, she buried three bullets into the shoulder of the closest one, causing it to stagger and hit the ground with a whine. Taking advantage of it being on the ground, she fired three more at its head. A thump told her she'd gotten what she wanted.

The other two had circled around by now, once again rushing for her. Switching the omega weapon back to sword mode, she ripped the blade downwards as one of them raised itself to its back legs to swipe at her with its claws. But the other monster had crashed into her, and while its claws had missed her, it knocked her forward, and Lightning stumbled to her knees.

Thinking fast, Lightning rolled over onto her back, and thrust the blade up, throwing the monster off of her. It landed with a squeal on its back, and she didn't waste any time burying the rest of the round into its head.

Panting, she stopped to regain her breath, her left hand gripping the shoulder the monster had clawed.

A voice sounded in the darkness beside her.

"It looks like the l'Cie _has_ lived up to her reputation."

* * *

><p><strong>Cliffhanger ending once again! (Because I'm just that evil) So now that Light has killed all those monsters, who's the person expecting her? Scientist dude from Chapter 2?Or is it the guy she's been following the whole chapter? Muhahaha, you guys will have to wait and see. <strong>

**Speaking of monsters, those were some things I had Light have to fight. What are they? *wiggles fingers evilly*  
>And also, that was my first take at action (something I failed at in Chapter Three). Hopefully it was believable - I had some practice and went to read some action novels a guy friend recommended me. <strong>

**So the next chapter will _definitely _not be up before Monday - it's gonna be a long one as well, and I have work again; maybe I'll get lucky again but I doubt it.**

**Feed the review monster with speculations and comments! A potential Beta Reader has contacted me, but this chapter was not Beta'd, so please point out any mistakes I made. **

**Cheers.  
><strong>


	6. Blood of Pride

**Yes, beat the deadline again! *proud***

**I lied when I said Monday for the next chapter, I underestimated the time I would have to** **write this weekend. Badly. I promise not to mislead you guys next time, okay?**

**Big thanks again to _every one of you_. Those who review, those who favourite me, those who story alert me. I swear, when I log in to my email and see like 10+ emails from this site alerting me to your love, I feel all happy and bubbly - it really inspires me to keep going. You guys know who you are, you guys rock.**

**You may have noticed the rating change - in this chapter it's solely because Light swears rather badly. I wasn't gonna change at this point before, but since this fic is going to get darker at any rate (no spoilers from me), I thought, well, why not?**

**So anyways, enjoy this chapter - definitely not as much action as the previous chapter, but I do like the way the first half of this chapter turned out for sure. And Snow gets a part, yay!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own XIII.**

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><p><span>Chapter 6: Blood of Pride<span>

Serah glanced at the clock, gripping the house phone tightly in her right hand. She paced around, glancing at the window every other turn. Night had fallen, and Claire was neither home nor picking up her phone. Serah dialed her number again.

"_We're sorry. The customer you are calling is not available at this time. If you would like to leave a message, please dial 1…"_

Angrily, Serah slammed the phone down on its cradle, jolting Snow awake from his nap. He meandered his way around the living room to her, pulling her into his arms.

"What's wrong, baby?" He gently stroked her cheeks, holding her smaller face in his large hands.

Serah looked away from him.

"It's Claire… She was acting weird this morning, and she was supposed to be off duty at six… It's eight already and she's not home. I tried calling her… But every time I try she doesn't pick up. Snow... I'm scared! What if something bad happened to her?"

Snow held Serah tightly to his chest.

"Baby, it's okay. Sis is tough – she wouldn't get herself into trouble like that. Don't worry, Sis is probably fine! She's probably just late." Serah clung to Snow, wanting so badly to believe him. But dread swam in her stomach – maybe it was sister instinct, but Serah _knew _that Lightning… well, something was wrong.

"Snow… will you go look for her? I…I'm worried!" And try as she might, Serah couldn't contain the tears from falling in little droplets onto Snow's shirt.

"Alright, baby, I'll go look for Sis. You stay with Hope in the living room, okay? Don't go looking for her by yourself." Snow embraced her one more time, burying his lips in her hair, leading her gently over to the couches. "Sis is tough – she wouldn't leave you like this. And I know that she wouldn't," he whispered into the pink locks.

"Hope!" he called loudly, causing the teenager to come down from the stairs. "Stay with Serah, okay? I'm going to go look for Sis. Gimme a call if she turns up."

Hope glanced worriedly at Serah. "Light's not home yet?" he asked.

Snow shook his head. "Don't let her start panicking," he said in an undertone, gesturing towards the pinkette. Hope nodded grimly, and went over to Serah on the couch, as Snow shut the front door behind him. Hope heard the lock click as he made his way to the couch.

"Hey." His voice was hesitant. Serah was still crying softly to herself, hands gripping her skirt tightly. Hope wanted to make sure he would get his next words out right.

"Don't worry about Light. She's the most determined person I know. She tried so hard on our journey to save you – she wouldn't leave like this… okay? She doesn't give up – if she thinks there's no hope left, she keeps going till she finds some. So… don't worry. Light _will_ come home." And though his words were meant to comfort Serah, he found himself clinging to them as well.

Serah looked sideways at the teenager, smiling a little even through the tears.

"I know," she whispered softly. "Claire never gives up."

But Serah hadn't always felt so confident in her sister. When Claire had first joined the army, she'd been terrified Claire would get herself killed in combat. Monsters were common around the swamps in Bodhum. And she clearly remembered the first of many times Claire had come home injured…

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><p><em>Claire was late for dinner again. Really, Serah wasn't all that surprised – Claire wasn't on time for meals often. It wasn't that she was intentionally late or anything, but her job often extended long past mealtimes, especially if she was out on a mission. But at around eight thirty, she finally heard a key scrape in the lock. Serah had bounded over to the door, but Claire had opened it before she could unlock it.<em>

_Claire was a mess. Her pink hair was tangled into matted clumps, and she was gripping one elbow with the other hand. There were several growing bruises on the exposed parts of her arms, and she was limping._

_Serah backed away from her, letting out a surprised cry._

"_Claire!"_

_Her sister glanced up, and Serah noticed the dull fatigue in her eyes._

"_Hey…" Her voice was rough and lacked its usual sharpness. Serah trailed after her as Claire made her way to the living room, flopping down on a couch, still holding her elbow._

"_Claire, what happened?" Serah was frantic – Claire had never looked like this before coming home from work._

"_There were more monsters than we expected…" her voice trailed off as she closed her eyes. Serah took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, and made her way to the cabinet where they kept the first aid kit._

_Lightning made no move to stop her as Serah carefully cleaned the cut on her elbow, and inspected her knee._

"_Claire, is your leg okay?"_

_Lightning had blearily opened her eyes. "Yeah, I just sprained it… that's all. Don't worry about it, Serah."_

_"Why didn't you get it treated at the infirmary?"_

_A sigh had escaped Lightning's lips. "There was a long lineup... and I could still walk, so I went home. Seriously Serah, stop worrying..."_

_Serah had pursed her lips, not trusting her sister's judgement, but knowing it would be fruitless to argue with her. "I'll get you some tea okay?"_

_And for that one moment, Lightning looked like the old Claire. "Thanks, Serah." Her voice was soft, and Serah skipped away happily to the kitchen, her heart warming. Claire never let her do anything for her anymore. She didn't ask Serah for help, and shut herself off from her, and so, even this felt like in some way she could bring the old Claire back._

_But when Serah returned from the kitchen, her sister was asleep. And in those heartbeats she noticed how tired Claire looked. Dark shadows under her eyes, cheekbones worn thin underneath pale skin. Gently, Serah let her fingers trail down her sister's face, tears forming in her eyes._

"_Oh Claire, you try so hard to support both of us. You keep insisting that I need a proper education, but you threw that away yourself. I don't care if we have to live somewhere different, or don't go to college. I just want my sister to be okay…"_

_Gently embracing her sister, Serah buried her face into Claire's shoulder._

"_I just want you to be here, with me…"_

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><p>Lightning turned instantly towards the sound of the voice, shifting her gunblade to attack position.<p>

A tall man with long hair tied back in a ponytail wearing a scientist's coat stood a few feet from her, an ugly smirk on his face. He gesticulated with a slender notebook in his hands as he laughed to see the expression on her face.

"Who are you, and why do you know about me?" she snarled.

"Oh, my dear Lightning. Impatient as ever I see," he sang in an ugly, oily voice, waving the book around.

Lightning let out a growl. "I don't want to play games with you. Answer my question or—"

"Or what, may I ask? Are you going to _kill_ me? Are you sure that's the best way to get the answers you want?"

_Is this guy playing games with me on purpose?_

Lightning advanced with her gunblade drawn, placing each foot on the rock slowly. She eyed him critically as she advanced - he didn't seem armed. But for someone who wasn't armed he was acting awfully cocky about things.

"Who the fuck are you?" Her voice was drawn into a cold hiss.

But the scientist didn't seem to be daunted at all, even though it was clear that she was ready to attack him. He only laughed, and skipped backwards a few steps.

And his voice was full of contempt when he answered her. "Oh Lightning dear, why would I tell you who I am? Not when you followed one of my puppets here. And I assume you know he was the one who left that note on your locker, and sent the monsters to your house? How very clever you are."

At this, Lightning let out a snarl of fury, but she didn't have a chance to demand answers before he continued.

"That note had no lies on it, by the way," he laughed. It was clear he was enjoying toying with her, and wouldn't give her a straight answer to anything she asked.

Lightning didn't even bother replying, aiming several bullets at his chest. But instead of blood splattering out where wounds should be, black smoke escaped the holes left by the bullets.

_What the…_

Stalking over quickly, she knelt by the man who was now on the ground - at least the bullets had done that much. His features were still twisted into that insane grin, as if he felt no pain.

"What do you want?" she demanded again, raising her omega weapon.

But still, the man laughed, like he couldn't tell he was dying.

"Oh Lightning, if only you weren't so hasty to kill… Maybe you could have found out more about this plan of ours… But don't worry, this is only… the tip of the iceberg. There are… more people like me, monsters tougher than the ones you faced…" his voice trailed off.

And then the symbol of a Pulse l'Cie appeared, superimposed over his left eye. When he spoke again, his voice was stronger, deeper, like a different being used his tongue.

"And there will certainly be a use for you, l'Cie. So don't tire of us so soon. We _will_ come for you."

But before Lightning could get another word out, the l'Cie symbol glowed a bright gold and the man was consumed in blinding light. Instinctively, Lightning raised her forearm to shield her eyes from the glare, and when she lowered it again, the man was gone; only wisps of black smoke drifted away in the slight breeze. Looking up to the mouth of the gorge, she judged it to be about midnight or so. And for the first time that day, she felt fatigue claim her body, and sank to the ground, sitting against a cold stone wall. Her left hand went to her injured shoulder - she wasn't surprised to find it still bleeding. Although she didn't think it was too bad, her lower back tugged on it whenever she moved. Wincing, she got to her feet.

_Serah will be worried. Huh, I guess I did turn off my phone. She's probably frantic just about now..._

At this thought, Lightning pulled out her phone and turned it on. She wasn't surprised there wasn't service so far out in Gran Pulse. Cursing quietly, she stuffed her omega weapon away, and began the long trek back up the gorge. It almost made her knees feel weak when she realized how far she had to walk to get home, but no one would think to find her here if she didn't. One hand still gripping her shoulder, she tiredly resolved to put one foot in front of the other.

_Serah... I'm sorry._

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><p>Serah clung worriedly to the blankets that Hope had thrown around her shoulders. It was long past midnight, and neither Snow nor Claire had returned. Her heart wrenched painfully to think about possibly losing the two people that mattered most to her in the world. Hope was still up, pacing in front of the door. It was cold and dark, but neither of them wanted to turn on the lights or light the fire - it reminded her too starkly of who was missing.<p>

_Snow... Claire... Please come home. Please..._

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><p>Snow tromped through the streets of New Bodhum, his footsteps echoing loudly against the pavement. While he had acted strong in front of Serah earlier, in truth, even <em>he <em>was getting worried about Lightning now. It wasn't like her to do anything but come home after work - he knew she was highly disdainful of all social events. He'd searched around the Guardian Corps building twice already - only the night crew were there, and none of them had seen her.

One of the rookies had told him she'd left for a delivery to Pulse Management, and that he hadn't seen her since.

_That_ worried Snow - Lightning certainly wasn't above snooping around, especially since she thought someone at Pulse Management attacked them. He hoped she hadn't gotten herself caught.

And as golden tendrils of dawn snaked their way into the dark sky, touching beams of light from Cocoon's crystallized pillar, did he hear footsteps. Snow whipped around, his heart giving a leap when he saw the distinctive pink hair highlighted almost white by the early morning light, trudging tiredly up the path coming from the Guardian Corps building.

"Lightning!" Snow couldn't hide the relief in his voice, and he rushed over to her.

No sooner did he reach her, did she utterly collapse against him. Her pink hair was dark, and it clung to the sides of her face in clumped tendrils, and Snow felt claws of dread reach into his chest when he saw the red down the back of her uniform.

"Lightning - are you okay?" Her eyes were dull with fatigue and pain, as she glanced up at him. A thin smile formed on her lips.

"Of course I am," she rasped. "Nice try playing the hero though..."

Ignoring her weak protests, Snow picked her up. "We're going home, okay? You've worried Serah sick. Heck, even I was worried," he admitted sheepishly.

Snow felt a tiny bit more reassured when she laughed softly. "Were you? I didn't know you cared so much."

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><p><strong>Whew.<strong>

**For some reason the second half of chapter was insanely hard for me to write - not quite sure why. Maybe it's because I think I suck at portraying evil insane scientists, but man, even Light was hard to write in that particular part of the chapter. (I still stand with my statement that the first half of the chapter seems much more well written to me, even though I did this chapter in one sitting)**

**So, evil scientist has revealed his true motives before vanishing? No, not yet. He _did_ mention it was only the tip of the iceberg - and now Light's lost her lead too.**

**That Pulse l'Cie symbol superimposed in his eye obviously means something, but what? And why didn't he bleed when Light shot him? Who was the person who took over him at the end? Bwahaha, stick around and find out.**

**Shoutout to zeon-06! Of course Serah was gonna call Light over and over, and we all know Snow wouldn't ever pass up a chance to play the hero. xD**

**As you probably guessed, this fic is going to be rather long. These few chapters are only the "building blocks" of the story; we haven't even gotten to the main plotline yet.**

**So feed the review monster, as always. Potential Beta Reader hasn't gotten back to me yet, so we are Beta-less for now. As always, critiques and speculations highly welcomed.**

**Next chapter will probably be up tomorrow - I already know it's gonna be rather short.**

**Hearts!**


	7. Feelings and Flames

**So yes, the next chapter is up as promised. It's fairly short - it's one of the transition chapters into the main plotline, because, as we all saw in the last chapter, nothing's really been set into motion yet.**

**Shoutout this time goes to GCFarron, OscarMerrinoz96, ziel101 and kariuchiha. Thank you for all your love. (:**

**I've nothing really to say beforehand this time, so here we go! Enjoy as always.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own XIII.**

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><p><span>Chapter 7: Feelings and Flames<span>

Serah gently brushed her hand over her sister's forehead. She had almost collapsed to the ground when Snow had finally returned, Lightning limp in his arms. If it hadn't been for Hope gripping her shoulder tightly, she would have.

Snow had gently set Lightning down on the couch, but it didn't stop Serah from seeing the large red stain on the back of her uniform. She didn't need to guess too hard to figure out what that was.

But Claire looked peaceful now; she'd fallen asleep after Serah and Hope had dealt with her shoulder. Hope had suggested to let her sleep, and so they hadn't moved her. Watching Claire breathe slowly, Serah let a small smile touch her face: it had been a long time since she'd had seen her sister so relaxed, but that didn't mean…

_Oh Claire. You _were_ doing something dangerous again, I know it. By yourself. Why don't you ever ask for help…? You wouldn't have gotten hurt if you'd asked people to help you…_

Closing her eyes, and resting her cheek against her sister, Serah let herself drop into a doze.

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><p>A faint moan close beside her ear caused Serah to sit up - Claire was awake. Gently, Serah shifted so her weight was off her sister, and trailed her hands down to Claire's slender fingers, gripping them tightly when she realized the skin was cold.<p>

"Serah…" her sister's voice was a hoarse rasp.

"Claire! Why didn't you ask someone to help you? Why did you have to go by yourself?" Serah sobbed, unable to control her shaking. She watched as Claire pulled herself to a sitting position, concern and irritation lighting in her eyes.

"Serah, you didn't need to worry, it's okay—"

"No!" Serah cried, stopping her from finishing. "You call being hurt _okay_? Claire, why do you never ask for help? Why do you always have to do things by yourself? We all care about you, why can't you see that none of us want to see you like this? No one asks you to do things alone – stop trying to shut everyone else out!"

Crying, Serah ran from the living room, holding her forearm over her face, trying to control the tears. But she couldn't. She couldn't continue to see Claire doing this to herself over and over. Running into the room she shared with Snow, she flung herself onto the bed, pulling a pillow over her face. The pillow drowned out the sounds from the house – she didn't want to hear or see them - didn't want to hear Claire's excuses, didn't want to see her wince every time she moved the right side of her body.

_Claire… You've been fighting alone for so long, you've forgotten that there are people around you who do care about you. I thought it had gotten better after your journey, thought that being around Hope might have opened you up a little, but I guess I was wrong… You're still the person who can't stand being helped, who can't let anyone do anything for her…_

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><p>Lightning watched her sister run up the stairs, sobbing. She let out an internal sigh, knowing that Serah… wouldn't understand. She felt the couch sink several inches as Snow lowered himself onto it.<p>

"I'm not in the mood for a lecture," she warned darkly. "Snow, if you're just going to spout the same things Serah just yelled at me, I don't want to hear it, okay?"

"Sis. I'm not going to get between you two – you know her just as well as I do, and I know that you know she only stays that stuff because she cares about you." Snow's voice was unusually serious, and looking at the expression on his face, she let out a snort.

"Huh. Didn't know you could be serious, for one time in your life."

"Good to know you're back to your normal self, Sis. The nap have something to do with it? Cause you sure weren't this chipper on the way back." The big man's smile was enormous – obviously pleased he'd won the fight to carry her back to the house.

"Shut up, Snow," she snapped. "You'll pay for touching me like that later."

He waggled a finger in her face. "Uh uh, not till you're better."

She glared at him for a few moments, trying to fight the temptation to smack the overconfident smile off his face. The couch sank another inch or so as Hope sat down on the armrest.

"You okay, Light?" There was genuine concern in his voice. But for some reason, it didn't bother her as much as Snow's nagging did. Like with Serah, it felt more natural to care about, and be cared for by Hope than it did Snow or Sazh. Or Fang and Vanille, for that matter.

She shrugged, instantly regretting the movement as pain tore down her right shoulder again. Trying to bury the pain the small motion made, she looked behind her at the platinum haired teenager. "Yeah, I'll be okay. A couple days is all I need."

She saw relief flood his eyes.

"Good." His voice was soft. "Light, what were you doing out so late… Where were you?"

Lightning sighed. "Where do I even begin?"

Glancing at both Hope and Snow's apprehensive expressions, she knew they knew it couldn't be anything good.

"Long story short: I found out who the person attacked us was, so I followed him after he left Pulse Management. I followed him to this lab he'd built hours outside of New Bodhum, and he sent monsters he created after me. Only when I killed the monsters, the person there was a different scientist, and he said he'd created the guy at Pulse Management… or something like that.

Either way, I tried to get to get information out of him, but he didn't give it to me, so well, I killed him. But he didn't bleed – he disappeared into smoke."

"WHAT?" Snow's loud yell made her start, and she scowled at him.

"No need to overreact like that, _hero._ Like I said, he was created, like the guy at Pulse Management was created. Because, at the end, something else took over him, and basically told me that everything on that note wasn't a joke – someone _is_ after us."

She looked away from Hope and Snow, trying hard to keep herself from trembling. They didn't need to see that. What they needed to see was the stoic, independent soldier they'd come to expect from her.

_That's why, Serah, I can't... I can't really let anyone know how I feel. Because they expect me to be in control. They expect me to know what to do... And so, I can't confide in anyone, I can't show that I worry about these things. They expect the confident soldier who always knew what to tell them... They expect the person who can be in charge._

Hiding her feelings didn't mean she didn't have any... But as concerned as she was about the note, she couldn't let that crack her exterior. To tell the truth, the encounter in the gorge had severely shaken her confidence in them dealing with this; Lightning was sure that whoever was after them wasn't going to be easy to take down.

_But we can handle it... right?__ We lived through the journey..._

As she answered their questions, she let her mind drift back into that moment in the gorge. The moment where the Pulse l'Cie mark had glowed gold in the man's eye. Did that mean a fal'Cie had been controlling him? Or someone using a fal'Cie to control him? Lightning recalled the words on the note – that a fal'Cie who could bring them back from crystal stasis was a powerful being indeed.

It was sunset before Snow and Hope were out of questions, and Hope had offered to help her up the stairs while Snow went to cook dinner. She shuddered inwardly – she hoped whatever he was concocting in the kitchen at the moment was going to be edible. Cooking was not the big man's forte, but Serah had locked herself in her room for the afternoon, and Hope wasn't old enough to cook, as Snow had stated before shooing them upstairs. Lightning had suppressed a snort of amusement, seeing him in a pink apron two times too small for his waistline.

_He'll hear about that one later._

Lightning had let herself lean against Hope, not wanting to burden the boy, but really, her right side ached. She lowered herself in the swivel chair in her room, sighing as the leather sank back to accommodate her heavy favouring of her right side.

"You'll be alright by yourself, Light?" There was no mistaking the concern in Hope's voice.

"I'll be fine," she snapped tiredly. "It's not like I'm fighting a war up here."

He'd smiled gently. "You know, Light… you did look pretty beat up when Snow brought you back. Don't scare us like that again, okay?"

Lightning scowled at him. "I don't scare anyone, okay?"

Hope had laughed before heading down the stairs, telling her he'd better keep an eye out on Snow before he lit something in the kitchen and set her house on fire.

After his footsteps had faded away, Lightning had crept to her sister's room, ignoring the protests of her shoulder. She'd snagged one of Serah's hairpins from the washroom as she passed it.

_You're not the only one who can pick a lock._

Quietly pressing the door open, Lightning saw that Serah was curled on the bed, clutching a pillow to her middle. It was clear she'd cried herself to sleep. Sighing, Lightning leaned against the doorframe, taking in her sister's haggard looking form.

_You must have waited all night for me._

Her voice was soft, barely audible. "I'm sorry, Serah…"

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><p>Across New Bodhum, a man with long hair tied in a ponytail, dressed in a scientist's coat watched the citizens scurry through the roads, finishing up their daily routines. Cocoon's crystal was highlighted red by the setting sun, and from this angle it looked like the crystal was bleeding. He held a small summon portal in his hand, and a box of matches in the other.<p>

"Now, my errant l'Cie. Let's see if you can live through this trial. If you do, well, the Eclipse will be set to start, and _you_, my dear Lightning, you will receive the main role in our wonderful play."

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><p><strong>I really like cliffhanger endings, did you know that? *cackles*<strong>

**So, a couple of things:**

**First off, the man Light killed? Well, he won't be missed; as you can see, he's back. And if he's back, we can all assume his subordinates are back, so no one at Pulse Management will ever know Light did what she did.  
>Second, we are back to the fal'Cie! Who is using that mysterious Pulse fal'Cie, if it is being used at all?<strong>

****Heehee, you guys will have to wait till I update next. Feed the review monster with your thoughts and ideas, as the man said - the show has yet to begin!****

**While this chapter mainly serves as a transition chapter, like I said, I tried to work in some heavy character development, especially between Light and Serah. Let me know how I did? (And still no response from the potential Beta... so, critiques welcomed!)  
>Sazh has yet to make an appearance, but don't worry, him and Chocobo Chick are due for some badass parts in a few chapters as we move on to the next arc in a few chapters.<strong>

**Next chapter will probably be up tomorrow - it's longer but already planned, so I just need to flush it out. Get ready for some of Snow's AMP brawling and some more monster ass kicking provided by our beloved pink haired heroine!**

**Hearts!**


	8. A World Without Pain

***peeks out***

**Hey there, guys. Thanks again for tuning into this fic - I really appreciate all the comments you leave me, and I am glad you guys enjoyed the last, albeit shorter chapter.**

**A note of warning - this is where the fic in a sense actually begins: we are finally set on the very beginning of the main plotline by the end of this chapter. Like I said, this fic contains some rather dark themes, and for me, well, the last quarter of the chapter or so was _immensely _hard for me to write. I tried to get it right though. n_n**

**Shoutout to ****OscarMerrinoz98, ziel101 and GCFarron (thanks for pointing out my spelling error)! Your love for this fic is really inspiring.  
>And to Sniperrolf - though you can't continue with us in this adventure, I really appreciate the support you've given me so far!<strong>

**Enjoy the chapter!**

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><p><span>Chapter 8: A World Without Pain<span>

Serah was jolted awake by the harsh shaking of her sister, whose frantic expression told her something was wrong. Claire's steel grip was on her arm, and she could see that Claire had her omega weapon drawn.

"Claire... What's...?"

Her sister cut her off roughly. "Someone sent a horde of those monsters into the city, and there's a fire. We have to get out, now!" Letting go of her arm, Serah watched as Claire crossed quickly to the door, noticing the degree that she favoured her right side.

Fear kicked in for a few heartbeats as Serah glanced outside the window – the night sky was tainted a deep scarlet, smoke tendrils caught in the crimson glare. The stars were gone, the moon hidden behind a shroud of red wisps.

"Serah! Stop dawdling and hurry up!" Her sister's irritated, frantic voice snapped Serah out of the daze. Throwing the pillow away, she scrambled off the bed and hurried after Claire, almost tripping over the carpet that lined the bedroom floor. Catching sight of Claire at the end of the hallway, she quickly ran to her, following Claire as she awkwardly made her way down the steps, clinging to the banister heavily.

_You should be resting, Claire..._

No sooner than Serah had reached the bottom of the steps did Snow pull her into his arms. Letting the warmth envelope her, for a moment Serah felt utterly protected. He would always be there for her...

"Come on baby, let's get out," his rough voice quiet.

"Why do we have to leave?" she whimpered softly. "It's safe here... isn't it?"

"No, it's not!" Claire's voice was harsh. "Let's go." Flicking her cape over her shoulder, Lightning kicked open the front door, and stalked out, Hope trailing behind her. Snow lifted Serah into his arms, and followed her sister out the door.

It was worse outside. Much worse. Smoke covered the area of New Bodhum their house overlooked, and screeches and screams of monsters and people alike echoed off the mountain faces of Gran Pulse. Serah instantly covered her mouth and nose, feeling herself flinch at the smell of smoke... and death.

_Is this what it feels like to be on the battlefield? Is this what Claire sees everyday?_

Snow had set her down carefully on the lawn in front of their house. She clung to his jacket as he moved away from her, her fingers slipping over the cloth; unable to hold him to her.

"I'm going to check on NORA," he called to Claire, who was standing at the very edge of the small cliff that allowed them to overlook the town. Her slim figure was silhouetted against the fires and smoke – black against red. Her sister had whipped around, mouth opening to shout something at Snow, but he'd already disappeared over the side of the cliff. Serah could hear his boots grinding against the gravel as he barrelled down the path.

"You stupid- !" Lightning's screech of anger was cut off as a feral snarl sounded in the shadows next to Serah. Rapidly, she turned to the sound, and fear gripped her as she saw a wolf like creature appear from the smoke infested gloom. Backing away, Serah couldn't help letting out a terrified whimper as she saw the strings of saliva slowly drip from the creature's mouth.

* * *

><p><em>Shit.<em>

Lightning had tensed the moment she saw the creature appear from the foliage behind Serah. Drawing her gunblade, she rushed forward, ignoring the protests from her shoulder. She shoved Serah roughly behind her.

"Stay behind me," she hissed. She would _not_ let this creature harm Serah. Or Hope, for that matter, but he was better able to defend himself than Serah was. "And whatever you do, don't move in front of me."

Lightning tried to keep her voice calm, but she knew Serah was terrified...

_And rightly so. How many attacks has this been within the last ten days?_

But pondering about it wasn't solving anything – this monster needed to be taken care of.

"All right," she growled. "You asked for this." The monster lunged forward, opening its jaws. Quickly, she feinted to the left, and she heard the snap as its jaws closed on thin air. Using the moment of surprise, Lightning brought the blade of the omega weapon down on its neck. A sharp crack sounded through the air as the monster dropped to the ground. She watched its body dissolve into the black smoke, and looked up again.

Serah had perched herself on a rock, huddled in front of it, holding her knees. She noticed Hope was standing slightly to the side, his boomerang out, a determined glint in his eyes.

_At least they're safe. Now, if this shoulder would only stop giving me trouble, I could chase after that idiot husband of Serah's and drag him back here._

But as things stood, Lightning knew she couldn't do much. Serah would absolutely refuse her going down after Snow – Lightning had no doubts Serah would literally throw herself in front of her to stop whatever plans she had of following Snow to drag him back. The ache deepened in her shoulder.

_I shouldn't be fighting. If Amodar was here, he would stop me from fighting, but...  
>I have people to protect. And whether I like it or not, <em> _it's up to me to protect them._

Bright lights suddenly cut through the smoke, and Lightning raised her arms to protect her eyes. A magnified voice, no doubt sounding through the speakers in the city center blasted through the wall of noise that was New Bodhum's citizens, effectively drowning out every other sound.

"_This is the Guardian Corps and Pulse Management. We advise that all citizens return to their homes and lock their doors. If you cannot return to your home for any reason, please go to the Guardian Corps building, and someone will further assist you in finding shelter. All citizens are warned to not attack the monsters in the streets. All members of the Guardian Corps are to report to command immediately."_

Lightning pushed her body up from the grass on the ground.

"We're going," she hissed. Pulling Serahafter her, she trusted that Hope had the sense to follow them.

"Where are we going, Claire?" Serah's voice was quiet, but Lightning could hear the barely suppressed fear behind it. If even one more thing happened tonight, she knew Serah was going to lose it. This was why she had never let her sister tag along, never told her any stories about work. Serah was delicate – she needed to protect her.

"I'm dropping you two off at the Guardian Corps Building. Then I'll have to find Amodar." Sensing Serah and Hope were about to protest, Lightning whipped around to face them, finding anger and impatience bubbling in her stomach.

"No, I'm not going to hear your stupid reasons why I shouldn't go! This is my _job_, can't you see that?" Lightning felt Serah tense, but she tightened her grip on her sister's fingers. Finding no solace in the fact that she knew Serah was trying to pull away from her, Lightning all but dragged her down the sloped path to New Bodhum, ignoring the pained twinges that her shoulder gave her at every other step.

The air in the town was worse than she'd thought. Constantly having to stop to wipe away the tears that formed quickly as her eyes reacted to the smoke, and stopping for Serah and Hope who coughed every dozen paces, Lightning looked despairingly up at the prominent Guardian Corps building in the town's skyline.

_Maker, I really hope we'll get there before it's too much for them to continue._

* * *

><p>Snow charged through the dark streets of Bodhum, looking for the people he had grown up with. Even injured, he trusted Lightning to look after Serah. <em>Maybe that's a little too much faith in Sis, but I know she'll do her hardest to protect Serah.<em> When he'd heard the announcement, he'd changed his path, heading for the Guardian Corps building. _I know NORA's tough, but I really hope they've got the sense to go there. And Sis will take Serah there too._

His feet echoed off the now empty sidewalks – everyone else either had gone home and locked themselves up, or were headed in the same direction he was. But he wasn't alone; Snow was aware of the clickings in the dark sidestreets and alleyways that could only mean one thing – monsters. Luckily his coat had the AMP technology, but there'd be no mercy for monsters tonight.

_Speaking of which..._

A Cie'th had launched itself in his path, low groans escaping where its mouth should have been. Snow didn't even hesitate to put three punches in its stomach, satisfaction rolling through his body as it dissolved into black.

_Looks like the hero's still got the touch._

A pack of amams to his left met the same fate, and he quickly delivered a fast uppercut to a Wight that was crafty enough to avoid his first blow. Snow cracked his knuckles; he was on a roll tonight. It was a little too bad he couldn't imbue elemental magic to his punches anymore, but he wasn't complaining; he'd had enough of those freaky tattoos to last the rest of his life.

Thumping through the deserted streets, he heard crying at the next intersection. A little girl, clutching a Carbuncle doll was scrunched in the corner, soft whimpering sobs escaping her lips. Snow knelt down beside her.

"Hey." He hoped his voice sounded reassuring. "Where's your mom?"

The little girl let out a sniffle, holding onto the doll with one hand while wiping her eyes with the other. "She got... The monsters got..." But the girl couldn't continue before bursting into fresh tears. And only when she moved her arm to wipe the tears away again did Snow see the gash in her side. One look and Snow knew it was beyond his power to heal. Maybe not beyond the medics at the hospital, but Snow knew she wouldn't make it that far, even if he helped her. The gloom had hidden the fact that she lay in a pool of red – a little large for her wounds, but Snow could see the staggered line of bodies that lay littered beyond her in the side street, a cruel remainder of the monsters that had evidently torn through the street.

Snow held her tiny, small hand in his large one, knowing what was going to happen to her. He was powerless to prevent it, but maybe... _Her hands are so small... Like Serah's._ And that was just another agonizing reminder at how easily it _could_ have been Serah. The girl's pained, tear stained face cracked into a small smile.

"You're going to stay...with me? Thanks..." The girl's voice was faint. Her small grip on his rough gloves tightened until it hurt – but it would be cruel to rip away his fingers now. He watched as her breathing slowed, cursing all but the Maker itself that he couldn't save the life that still had so much to offer to the beautiful world that they'd protected. The Carbuncle doll dropped from the girl's small hand as her grip on Snow loosened, her pale lids closing over the eyes that had lost their glimmer.

_Bam!_ It was like something had struck him physically in that one moment. And for that moment, he wasn't here, but at the Hanging Edge, watching the silver haired woman fall from his grasp and onto the mountains of metal scraps below. Another life he couldn't save...

"FUCK!" He yelled out loud, punching the floor in anger. _Why..._

Snow angrily shoved the small girl's body away from him, jumping to his feet, still shaking. _Why can't I save people when it matters?_ Trying to control his breathing, Snow readjusted the bandanna on his head. _NORA was supposed to be about protecting people, goddammit! Not watch them die!_

But there was nothing else he could do here; he had to move on. The ghost of the little girl's grip still lingered on his right hand, and as he charged down the street, moving towards the Guardian Corps building, he cast one last glance at the small body hidden in the shadows and smoke of the fire that was continuing to spread. _Maker take care of you, and come back in the next life in a world without pain, okay? I'll make sure this damn place is gonna be that world._

* * *

><p>Lightning had finally let go of Serah when the three of them had reached the steps of the Guardian Corps building. Feeling that Serah was trembling, Lightning had tried to pull the her younger sister to her in a rough embrace, but Serah had flinched away from her. Sighing, she'd registered her sister and Hope to the rookie who was in charge of assigning people to spots in the rooms so they'd be safe. Once the rookie had handed her a paper slip with a number on it, she'd made her way back to them, pushing through the throngs of people who were trying to crowd into the place.<p>

Slapping the piece of paper into Hope's hand, Lightning pulled him over to the side. "Hope, I'm going to trust that you can take Serah and yourself to this room written on this piece of paper, while I go find Amodar," she hissed roughly.

Hope had taken a glance at the paper in his hands. "You really don't want me with you, don't you?" His voice had a resigned tone to it, but Lightning saw and knew the glint in his eyes. He wasn't a child, she knew that, but she needed him to take care of her sister. And even if she didn't want to admit it, there was a part of her that desperately needed him to be safe too.

"No, I don't. That place is freaking hell out there right now, no place for a kid like you. Stay with Serah – and wait for Snow. He'll probably come barreling in here sooner or later." She hoped her voice was assertive enough. She needed to let him know how much he relied on him.

"Light?" His voice was a little hesitant. She jerked her head in his direction, letting him know she'd heard. "I'm sure you're tired of hearing this, but, be careful, okay? Come back to us... Come back to me."

Lightning snorted, knocking him in the forehead, like the way she'd done in Palumpolum. "You got it, kid." And for some reason, she didn't pull away when he'd wrapped his arms gently around her middle.

* * *

><p>Lightning hit the streets, pulling out her gunblade. The air was clearer on this side of New Bodhum, she'd heard the fire was being contained on the other side. She'd neglected to tell Amodar about her shoulder, so he'd assigned her to patrol some streets close to the building.<p>

"_Take out the monsters, and send any civilians to the Corps building."_ Those had been his orders. Putting the omega weapon into gun mode, she adopted the pace she usually took while monster hunting: slower steps that hid most of the sounds of her footsteps. It was easier on her shoulder too; she could favour a side because she took care in putting each of her feet down. Movement in her peripheral vision distracted her – too fast to be a dazed civilian wandering around, but a little too discreet for a monster who wasn't supposed to have more than beastial instincts. And she'd hardly had the time to move towards the dark alley in which she'd seen the motion before something hit the back of her head, hard.

* * *

><p>Serah couldn't keep herself still. Hope had gone to fetch them some food and water, but he'd refused to tell her where Lightning had gone. She didn't really need him to tell her, in some ways Claire was so predictable...<p>

Quietly slipping the blankets provided by the Guardian Corps off her shoulder, Serah dodged around the people that were still in the room. The army was still moving displaced civilians in, and in the confusion, Serah figured it would take Hope awhile to get back to the place they'd been assigned. She knew perfectly well that Claire was probably out hunting monsters, and this time, Serah was determined _not_ to let her sister fight alone. She'd do whatever it took to drag Claire back until she was healed.

Noting that Amodar was in the corner of the entrance hall, Serah quickly moved to the side opposite him – Amodar knew who she was and would probably stop her from going out to find Lightning.

_And I have to find Claire. It doesn't matter what she thinks - whether she realizes it or not I care about her just as much as she cares about me. _

Her footsteps echoed in the empty streets - the streetlights looked ominous, glowing in the abandoned streets. A rumble from the sky caused her to look up - the moon had been obstructed by dark rain clouds. _Hopefully this will put the fire out..._

Searching frantically, Serah ran quietly up and down streets, looking for the pink hair that identified her sister. She was glad her sneakers made little sound on the cement; she knew she wasn't up to fighting a monster, but hopefully the little noise she made was enough to keep her hidden from them.

_Claire, where are you?_

* * *

><p>Lightning came to on a rooftop. <em>How...?<em>

A rough voice sounded behind her. "So, awake, are we? How lovely it is for you to join us tonight, l'Cie."

Whipping her head around, Lightning saw a single man dressed in black... and the scientist she thought she'd killed at the gorge just last night. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of them, and she got to her feet, hand reaching behind her for the omega weapon, ignoring the radiant pain that flared from her shoulder.

But she wasn't expecting the blow she'd taken to have an effect on her - the moment she stood upright, blood rushed from her head, and black crowded her vision. Nausea gripped her stomach instantly, and she sank to her knees, clutching the back of her head. Her hair was matted at the back, but she couldn't feel any blood.

"Oh yes," the man in black said quietly. "I wouldn't advise getting up; it's not going to make that concussion of yours any better."

Still on the ground, Lightning cursed the situation and just how helpless she was at the moment. _Shit. Just what do you want from me?_

The dark figure strode forwards, leaving the scientist who didn't seem to be aware of the situation. He laid a hand on her good shoulder; gently caressing her face, brushing away the tendrils of cherry coloured hair.

"Don't... touch me," she spat bitterly, trying to squirm away from his fingers. "Or..."

"Or what?" The icy whisper held deadly power. "You're not in a position to make demands here, my pretty little Lightning. You may be used to ordering your sister and your brother-in-law around, but that's not the case here."

_Fuck. _Lightning knew the man was right; he could easily push her off the twenty foot tall building and she'd tumble to her death right there. She tried not to flinch away from his touch when he gently guided her gaze to the street below. The sight of a pinkette in rose and white coloured clothing sent freezing claws down her back. _Serah. What is she...? I thought I told her to stay put...!  
><em>

"It looks like your little sister has come to find you. Not a very good older sister, are you? If she has to come and look for you?"

"No! She's... I told her to stay where she was," she spluttered, trying to defend herself.

The man's hand closed around her chin, and forced her to look at him. And for the first time, she saw the icy green glimmer in his eyes. Eyes without mercy. The man's face was covered by a black cloth, but from the contours of the way it was pulled she knew he was smiling.

"Oh, but she's in such a _dangerous_ place... I thought you had to protect her... Isn't that the only reason you Purged yourself? I thought you cared about her enough. Because, if you did, you would have made her understand that coming for you wasn't a good idea."

"Shut the fuck up..." She tried to make her voice sound cold, but she couldn't. Because he was pulling at the very depths of the feelings she'd tried so hard to hide away. The feelings that she couldn't show anyone, and the doubts she'd always had about their relationship ever since she'd joined the army. Lightning tried to block his voice from herself, tried to tune it out, but it didn't work that way. Her arms felt frozen to the rough stone of the rooftop, and she couldn't pick up her gunblade. Even though she was making a conscious effort to move, she couldn't stop her limbs from shaking. Guilt clawed at her as she tried to focus on Serah, who was still wandering down the street. The man's voice continued, oblivious to her trembling.

"And, of course, you _let_ her become a l'Cie by pushing her away. How do you know she's not angry at you?"

_He's right... I don't. I don't know that she's not. She never says so, never mentioned it again after I apologized to her right below Cocoon, but if I can hide _my _feelings, she can too... Serah, I'm..._

A flash of movement at the edge of her vision made her tense. Rough thumps on the ground and the barely audible snarls confirmed her suspicions. A monster, and it was headed right for Serah.

Lightning wanted to reach out to her, wanted to jump down and protect her. But she couldn't. Limbs frozen in despair and pain, she could only do one thing, one thing to somehow help ensure her sister wouldn't be harmed.

* * *

><p>"Serah!"<p>

A hoarse cry sounded from somewhere above her head, a desperate cry that reached right into the depths of her heart. Serah looked up for the source of the sound, trying to see through the gathering gloom that had advanced into New Bodhum in preparation for the coming storm. A bright flash lit the sky, and in that one moment, Serah saw it.

Light pink hair and the glowing yellow insignia of the Guardian Corps. Held in the strange arms of a man she didn't know. Pale blue eyes closed, and the omega weapon useless on the ground.

The one thing she feared above all. But Serah couldn't move fast enough, didn't have enough time to go for her sister before something large crashed into her.

Darkness.

* * *

><p>The man carefully inspected the unconscious pinkette in his arms. He pocketed the omega weapon, and hoisted her so that he could carry her more efficiently. He'd noticed the wound on her shoulder, but that wasn't anything Larcell couldn't work with. Prodding the puppet scientist with one finger, he jumped lightly down from the rooftop. Lightning was just a light, slender burden. Hardly enough to slow him down. A smile cracked his lips when he saw the scientist fall down awkwardly after him. Puppets. They always did as they were told.<p>

A vibration in his pocket made him set the young woman down for a moment. His smile grew when he saw who it was on the glowing display. He flipped the cover open.

"Hey. It's Kalin. I've got her." Pausing, he listened for the instructions that followed.

"Got it. Head the monsters off, leave the other girl alone."

Picking her up again, he marveled at her delicate, porcelain face. She looked so much prettier when she was asleep, rather than glaring at him with those cold blue eyes of hers. _Oh, my pretty Lightning. If only you acted more friendly... You wouldn't have a problem finding lines of people after you._

Waving his free hand, he clicked the device clipped to the inside of his sleeve. Walking out into the brighter street, he noticed the girl's younger sister lying there in the middle of it. _Eh, her husband will find her. And now we've left the perfect trail - those foolish l'Cie are sure to follow._

A boom of thunder accented the thoughts as he walked away.

* * *

><p>Raindrops poured down from the sky, washing away the blood that stained the stone pavements and the wisps of black smoke that were left in the wake of the monsters. She felt rain drip down relentlessly on her face as she tried to get up from the rough pavement, hands slipping on the rough, wet surface. But Serah didn't care anymore. There was only one thing on her mind as she tried fruitlessly to get up. A short, piercing shriek clawed its way up from her back, and rose from the back of her throat; she didn't even try to contain it, not caring if monsters were in the area.<p>

"_Claire!"_

* * *

><p><strong>Man. <strong>

**This chapter, and especially the ending, was so, _so_ hard for me to write. I tried to get their emotions right, I really did. I rewrote their lines over and over, trying to find one that would suit Light, and ones that would suit Serah. Hopefully, this turns out okay when you guys read this.**

** I know I said this chapter was gonna have action, but in the end I realized there wasn't going to be much. ****The emotional part of this chapter was going to be the main focus, but I tried to get a little Snow "hero" antics in there. Light didn't have much action going for her though. **

**This is the longest chapter of the fic so far, totalling over 4,500 words of just the chapter, and future chapters will probably be just as long - as I said, this is where the main storyline begins.**

**I also finally have a Beta, yay! From this point on important chapters will be Beta'd fully. Some chapters won't be, as I have respect for the time of my new Beta reader, but we'll be going over important ones together to make this fic as awesome as possible of a reading experience for you all.**

**Expect the next chapter either tomorrow or the latest Thursday. Leave love in the form of a review, and I'll do my best to get it up tomorrow so I don't leave you guys hanging there.**

**Hearts!**


	9. Crimson Wings

**Hi again! **

**First off, I'm super glad lots of you enjoyed the last chapter, and I do apologize, not a lot of action and a whole ton of emotional content dropped onto your heads. Glad you guys think I got it right though. n_n**

**Shoutouts to ziel101 and OscarMerrinoz96, you guys are amazing. **

**Yes, Serah doesn't really like listening to Light, does she? Ah well, tis how the story goes. So I'm proud of myself this time around because Hope finally gets a part, and I've been _dying_ to get around to seeing stuff through his eyes for ages. Teehee, hope you guys think he is in character. **

**So since I know all of you are dying to know what happened to Light, I'll shut up now and let you guys in on the chapter. Once again there are some dark themes in this one, you've been warned.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 9: Crimson Wings<span>

Hope tried to get his bearings. _Light told me to look after Serah, but I couldn't even do that. I _know_ she trusts me... she'll be so angry when she finds out..._ Searching had turned up nothing around the Guardian Corps building, and he had a nasty suspicion that Serah had gone out to look for Light.

Dodging the people still filing in, Hope ran to the entrance of the building. Hopefully...  
><em>If Serah really did go looking for her, Light's gonna kill me...<em> He shuddered just to think about Lightning's rage if that did happen, and Light found her first. _That's why I gotta find her first... and spare us both Lightning's wrath._ And he was so busy obsessing about this he didn't even realize who he'd bumped into until he bounced back from the impact.

"Sorry—Snow!" The big man was rubbing the spot on his stomach Hope had bumped into. Hope looked down, embarassed that he'd actually bumped into such a big target. He felt a big hand rumple his hair.

"Hey kiddo. It's okay, don't worry about it. Where's Serah?"

_Uh oh. He's gonna get mad too... if I tell him Serah's gone to chase after Light._

Hope tried to avoid the man's gaze, but it wasn't easy. Snow just wasn't all that easy to ignore.

"Uh, kid? Something wrong?" Snow's voice held concern in it, but also suspicion.

Hope shuffled his feet, trying to keep his voice flat. "Well, see, Light told me to keep an eye out on Serah because she brought us here. Serah told me she was thristy so I went to get her some water. But when I came back, she was gone. I think... I think she went to look for Light." Hope glanced at Snow as he said the last words, hoping that he wouldn't be angry...

But Snow looked more confused and shocked then angry... at the moment.

"So where... was Lightning if Serah went looking?"

Hope put his hands behind his back, one hand closing on the boomerang, just in case Snow snapped and he happened to be the closest breakable thing. He closed his eyes before replying; he didn't want to see Snow's reaction.

"She went... looking for Amodar. You heard the announcement, and well, you know her."

Hope braced himself for the blow he was sure was coming. But it didn't – instead, thumping footsteps that launched themselves off the steps made him snap open his eyes. His eyes opened in time to see Snow barreling off the steps and onto the street.

"H-hey, wait!" He jumped off the steps after him, glad that Snow's white coat was distinctive enough to be seen even in the gloom. A clap of thunder sounded above his head, and Hope spared a heartbeat to glance up.

_Rain clouds. Hopefully they'll put out the fire that's started, and we can find Light and Serah before a real downpour starts. Then we can all go home... right?_

Hope pulled up at a corner as Snow stopped, almost bumping into him again. His hand tightened on the boomerang, seeing Snow tense.

"Monsters," came the hiss in front of him. And then Snow charged forward, fists swiping at an Amam that was snapping its jaws at the air. A Cie'th call sounded close to his ear, and Hope threw his boomerang at it, directing it to more airborne enemies that were surrounding them. He joined Snow at the center of the combat, their backs to each other. Thumps behind him told him that Snow was taking out the enemies on the ground, so he focused on those in the air. The Wights weren't much of a problem; a hit in the right spot felled them easily, but some of the other monsters, of which he had no name for, were harder to hit. They seemed to instinctively know how to dodge his boomerang, and frustrated snarls coming from behind him told him that Snow was having much of the same difficulty.

Hope let out a startled gasp as more monsters swarmed around them. There were too many, much too many for them to deal with on their on. _Light... help me...!_ The instinctive thought flashed across his mind before he angrily pushed it away – he couldn't rely on Light all the time. Especially when she wasn't here... Fingers of dread reached for him when he realized she could be in the same situation, and with Serah to protect...

As a second boom of thunder sounded above his head, the monsters suddenly melted into wisps of black smoke, quickly torn away by the rain that was gently pattering down at first, and then became harsh, like cold needles.

A sigh sounded behind him, and Hope turned to see Snow sit on the wet pavement. His blond hair was slick with sweat and rain, but he cracked a smile.

"Nice job there kid. Thought we were goners for a few moments there." Gesturing up at the sky, Snow jumped to his feet again. "Guess the rain saved us. C'mon, we've got people to find." And with that, Snow dashed off again, large feet splashing in the puddles forming on the ground.

Sighing, Hope chased after him, trying to ignore the wet locks of platinum hair in his face and the constant dripping of wet droplets down the back of his jacket.

_Nothing ever stops Snow, does it?_

Snow had run ahead of him for awhile, but the big man was beyond easy to track. It was easy to see where he had stepped in the mud, and he wasn't exactly discreet either. A strangled yell up ahead stopped Hope in his tracks for a moment, before he plunged on. He saw Snow's distinctive coat just around the next corner, and raced to catch up with the man.

By the time he'd gotten there, Snow was kneeling on the ground, a limp pinkette form in his huge arms. _Oh Maker, no. Please, no. _

"Serah, Serah! Wake up!" Snow was desperately shaking her, and Hope saw his big hands tremble as he rubbed her cheeks, trying to warm her. _Serah's here... where's Light?_ Kneeling down beside the girl, Hope took off his neckerchief, and gently wiped the raindrops off her face. It wouldn't do much, but he couldn't sit here and do nothing while Snow grieved over her. A small flutter of eyelashes disturbed the skin on his hand, and he moved it, his fingers gently finding her arm so he could help prop her up.

"Snow..." The light, faint voice held the smallest bit of warmth as she registered who was helping her. The relief on Snow's face was obvious – he'd broken into a brilliant, Snow-y smile.

"Hey baby, it's okay now. Everything's okay now. We'll find Sis and go home, okay?" His voice was soothing and calm as he held the girl to his chest. "We'll be alright, baby."

But Hope had seen Serah flinch the moment Lightning was mentioned, and he let go of her arm, scared, as she tensed. Her entire back arched against Snow as she let out a scream.

"No! _Claire! _Claire... Snow, they took her, you've gotta get her back..." Serah's voice quieted from hysterical cries to softer, desperate sobs as she clung to Snow, oblivious to the downpour that surrounded them.

_No... No, they couldn't have gotten Light. She said... she'd come back! She said she'd always be there for me... said she'd protect me. No!_

He crumpled to the ground, arms wrapping around his knees, as if curling together would make the pain in his chest go away.

A rough push made Hope glance up – Snow was glaring at him while holding Serah to his shoulder. The glare reminded him so much of Lightning that he flinched back. "Don't panic in front of her," he hissed.

He watched as Snow pulled her to him again, shifting so that she could face him and he could see her face. Using his big hand to wipe away the tears, he watched Snow try to calm her down.

"Baby, shhh... Crying won't help... Who took Sis? What happened?"

But Serah didn't stop, only burying her face in Snow's coat again. Hope could still hear her soft, now muffled voice. "Snow, you gotta... find Claire... You have to get her back..."

* * *

><p>Lightning woke to a dim light flickering in the darkness. At first, she was confused – she was lying somewhere soft, and it wasn't cold. A pale blanket covered the lower half of her body, but she didn't appear to be in any pain. Reaching for the back of her head, she couldn't find the spot where she'd been hit, but the stiffness in her muscles told her that she'd been out for more than a couple of days. <em>Where... is this? <em>Gingerly, she got to her feet, wincing at the small twinge of pain that still attacked her shoulder.

A quiet voice sounded behind her. "Looks like our little l'Cie is awake."

She whipped around angrily, feeling empowered by the fact that her shoulder didn't bother her that much anymore. Tightening her slender hands into fists, she stalked towards the figure standing beside the flickering light, which she now saw to be a single candle.

"What... do you want from me?" she snarled, enunciating every word slowly, letting her anger take control. She knew they'd probably taken her omega weapon, but the man looked unarmed whereas she was quickly moving into the range of a punch.

"Well well, looks like we found ourselves a fighter this time around. Larcell will be pleased to know that." His voice was smooth, and she watched his red eyes follow her as she took a step forward.

"I don't really care what you want," she hissed quietly. "What I want to know is why the hell I'm here. You people keep claiming I'm a l'Cie, but do you see a brand?"

A small chuckle came from him as he moved towards her. "Kalin told me you weren't the most friendly person on Cocoon. Really, Lightning, acting so aggressively isn't helping your case. And to answer your question, yes, you _are_ a l'Cie. Your brand has just been helpfully hidden, but we'll help you solve that soon."

She let out a small growl. "Don't call me that... like you know who I am."

"You really aren't in a position to make demands, you know... Think of your sister."

And as his words, Lightning froze. _Serah. What happened after...? _Trying to regain her grip on the situation, she clenched her fists again. The images kept flashing before her eyes; Serah wandering down the dark street, no doubt looking for her, the monster charging at her as soon as she came into its range. She only hoped she'd screamed out in time for Serah to get away. _If Serah had actually been hurt by it... I don't think I could ever forgive myself. Not this time. Not after I promised myself Serah would never see anything ugly in this world again._

A cold grasp on her slim wrist pulled her back from her memories. She tried to pull her wrist away, shuddering at the cool contact, but the grip was firm, and try as she might to get away, she felt like it was gluing every single one of her limbs to the spot.

"See? You do have people you care about... and if I were you, I'd cooperate, unless you'd like them brought here too." The fingers of his other hand travelled up the arm he was keeping suspended in the air, and rested on one of the black armbands she wore. Feeling disgust rise in her stomach, Lightning tried to wrench her arm away. Hearing a small chuckle at her attempt to get rid of his hands, he let go of her arm, but kept the other hand firm on her wrist.

"Larcell is waiting to meet you." She didn't like his tone of voice; it reminded her of the way someone would present a particularly hungry monster with a helpless at his words. But a small smile formed on her lips for the first time in what felt like days. _This Larcell guy, whoever the hell he is, clearly doesn't know who he's dealing with._

* * *

><p>Finally in the confines of their living room again, which had thankfully escaped the fire and bore only a few marks of monsters, Snow set his wife down on the couch, rubbing her clammy hands furiously, trying to put some life back in her eyes. A cold knot had formed in his throat the moment she mentioned someone had taken Lightning, but sitting out in the rain in a deserted street wasn't going to solve that. So between him and Hope, they'd brought her home. The rain was still pounding down from the skies, but at least they weren't wet anymore. He'd dispatched Hope to call Sazh while... <em>I attempt to reason with Serah.<em>

"Serah, Serah, baby, can you tell me what happened?" His voice shook, but he tried to keep it steady. Falling to pieces like Hope did wasn't going to make things better. _I'm supposed to be her hero, the person who takes care of her. And I'll be damned if I don't get Lightning back. _Serah'd been hurt too, he knew that, by the way she clutched at her side when Snow had picked her up._ I wasn't there for her when she needed me._

Finally, Serah raised her eyes, almost as if she was ashamed to look at him. "I went... looking for her. I didn't know where she was... She shouldn't have been fighting... There was a monster, and she called my name, but she was taken by this person wearing black... and then the monster got me..." Serah's voice trailed off as she broke into a fresh round of tears. Snow gripped her shoulders tightly. _Awh, hell, Sis... Someone really came after you?_

"Serah... listen. Crying isn't going to help us find Sis, okay? Anything you saw that was familiar about the man?" A small shake of the pink head, as she tried to wipe the tears away.

"He was dressed all in black... but I only saw him for a moment because of the storm..." Snow felt a tide of frustration rise in his stomach - this wasn't helpful at all. It had already been several hours if not a full day since the storm started - none of them had really been keeping track of time. And a vague description of a person she half saw was as good as nothing.

A clatter of footsteps announced that Hope was on his way down from the stairs, as Snow and Serah both looked over to the silver haired teenager. He looked tired too, but Snow saw the barely hidden pain in his eyes. _Man, Sis really means a lot to the kid, doesn't she?_

"I called Sazh, he's coming. He's left Dajh with Yuj and Lebreau, who are safe, by the way." His tone was oddly flat; Snow could tell he was trying to keep it in control, but the boy was shaking slightly. "So... what happened?"

"Like she said earlier, Sis was taken by someone, but we don't really know who." Snow hated how pathetic his words sounded. _Like I think we can't do anything to take her back. _And evidently, Hope thought the same of his words; Snow caught the rage in his sea green eyes and braced himself.

"So we're just _not_ gonna do anything? Snow, Light is out there somewhere, probably still hurt, and we're just gonna sit here and do nothing because we don't _know_ anything? Since when as _Light_ given up because we didn't know anything?" Snow hated the way Hope had compared him to Lightning, hated the way he picked out exactly why Lightning had first left him on their journey in Lake Bresha. _Everyone knows no one can top Sis in that kid's mind, but this is totally not fair!_

"Hope... I'm sorry... I know how much Claire means to you too..." Serah's small voice peeped up as she tried to get up. A flutter of something sparkly fluttered to the floor as she rose to her feet. More sparkly bits fell to the floor as Serah dusted off her skirt awkwardly as she tried not to bend over too much to avoid moving the side that had gotten hit by the monster.

"Hey... what's that?" Hope had noticed it too, and the teenager rushed over to pick it up off the floor. He rubbed it between his fingers and held it out to Snow. Silver smears on the pale fingers stuck out immediately to Snow. He'd seen sparkly stuff like this before. And both their hushed voices came out at the same time.

"It's like... from Oerba and Orphan's Cradle, where we fought Barthandelus. Those same sparkles..."

The realization hit Snow like a impact of three monsters. "No one can go back to Cocoon just yet... The monster who attacked Serah must have come from Oerba!"

"No, that's not it." Hope's voice was quiet, but intense, his green eyes blazing with the determination Snow had seen in them after the kid had gotten Alexander. "The attack on this city was planned. They were after Lightning from the start. And because they had this planned, they either used a summon portal or just had hordes of monsters. But the monsters disappeared after they got what they wanted, so they must have dispelled them. Those summon portals can go both ways. Wouldn't it make sense to transport the monsters back to your base so you could use them again if need be? That means..."

"They've got Light in Oerba." Snow finished Hope's thoughts. He smacked his fist into his other palm, feeling the sense of empowerment that came only with figuring out a plan and putting it into action. "Those bastards will really regret messing with us," he snarled.

"It's not going to be that easy... Oerba is on the other side of Cocoon's crystal, and on top of a mountain. But we have a place to start looking," Hope's voice sounded behind him.

"I'm coming with you..." Snow whipped around to see Serah limping to him. "I have to apologize to her... Claire..." He enveloped her in his arms, feeling her smaller body relax slightly against his. He buried his lips in her hair, inhaling her soft scent.

"We'll get Sis back... I promise." _And that's a promise I intend to keep. For sure._

* * *

><p>Lightning arched her back, and screamed. The intense burn where her brand used to be choked her breathing, and she felt claws of agony rake up and down her spine. Grasping at her chest desperately, she tried to claw at it, as if she could scratch it off of her. Collapsing to her knees, she gripped the cold floor, struggling for breath, not sure how much more she could take.<p>

"You know... this would be a lot easier if you consented to us experimenting on you." The cold voice sounded from somewhere behind her, but she didn't really care. Her pulse was pounding so loudly in her ears everything else sounded dim.

"Fuck... you," she spat out. "I _won't_ become your little l'Cie puppet..."

She felt something kick her side, and powerless to prevent it, she hit the floor on her elbows. Still holding her hand to her chest, Lightning tried to get her bearings, tried to hang onto her soldier training.

_Pain only takes ahold of you if you let it. Don't give in to it, sit it out, separate you__rself from the situation, deep breaths... _And her realization that she couldn't. She couldn't separate it from herself when every other breath and every single heartbeat painfully attacked her lungs and throat.

"You see?" She knew it was the one they called Larcell. _Their leader...?_ "If a normal human had stepped onto this rune mark on the floor, they wouldn't have felt anything. But _you_, you reacted to it almost instantaneously. Join us, Lightning. We know you hold Odin's power in you somewhere. You could be great, you know, if you joined forces with us. We'll give you the fal'Cie's power too, the fal'Cie that has lain sleeping underneath Oerba since the War of Transgression. And together we can bring about the Eclipse." At the end of his sentence, his voice grew higher, almost as if he was embracing the very power that he spoke of. _What the hell... is the Eclipse? _

Forcing herself to her knees again, Lightning looked up at the man who had moved in front of her. Short blond hair, silver eyes that had slits like a cat's. He had vestigial wings on his back, bony and gnarled, proof of the fal'Cie power he had absorbed using some new manadrive, as he had explained to her. The smirk on his face reminded her so starkly of the look Dysley had worn when he had disguised himself as Serah that she wanted to puke.

"I don't want... any part of whatever plan you have," she hissed through her teeth, trying not to let her pain show in her voice.

A cruel laugh that echoed throughout the cavern that made her senses go on overdrive. It was too familiar, too much like Orphan's laugh...

"Maybe you don't... but perhaps someone else can convince you?" He conjured an image of Serah, crying and becoming a crystal, forcing her to look at it."Remember this? Remember how that was your fault? Whatever happens to her could be your fault too, you know..."

_Fuck... No. Anything... but that. Serah... __I promised myself after that that I'd never let you see anything ugly, feel any more pain. But I don't know... that you don't hate me. That you don't blame me for what happened... __And maybe they're right... I won't ever know, because I'm too scared to ask you._

Feeling the beads of sweat meld themselves into her hair, Lightning tried to pull up the strength needed to get up, to run away from the rune circle, to run away from the words that were cutting into the very depths of the barrier she'd always constructed around her deepest feelings. _I don't want to hear any more... from this crazy guy who's clearly just interested in what I can... what I_ could_ do as a l'Cie._

"Summon Odin. Now."

Lightning ignored the voice, trying to block it out from her hearing. _How the hell do I even... summon Odin? I don't have a brand anymore... like I've been saying since this started... _She heard him begin to mutter words she didn't understand, words that flowed around her that she ignored as she tried to bite her lip against the agonized pulsing of what used to be her brand.

And suddenly the pain increased. It reminded her of how her brand always hurt so much more when she was trying to summon Odin, except _this_ was... The heat spread from her chest, and reached its claws into her stomach. Feeling her navel piercing tingle, this time she couldn't hold back the scream that clawed its way furiously up her spine. But as the rune circle glowed yellow, like how it did when she'd first stepped into it, a different circle was now superimposed on the first. Her fading vision registered it as rose petals began to drift through the air, and the sweet scent hit her nose.

The pain ended abruptly from the rest of her body, except for the place where her brand had been located. And it wasn't just the pain, it was every other abuse her body had suffered in the last few days. Feeling some strength return to her limbs, Lightning was able to push herself into a hunched standing position. And for the first time, her eyes registered her own summon circle. _Odin...?_

Her hand went immediately to the place where her brand used to be... except... _the brand was there._ Just like she remembered it last, before they'd fought Orphan. There was only one difference - it was white like Fang's had been. _How..._

She heard a cheer coming from somewhere in front of her, and she focused her eyes on the dancing... _dancing? _figure in front of her. Her vision was sharper now, and the longer the pink circle stayed the more strength she felt return to her body.

"Yes! Yes, that's it! Let your anger and despair summon your Eidolon!"

She didn't know how the hell the funny circle thing a hundred miles below the ground could have returned the brand to her chest, but at the moment, she wasn't complaining. Lightning didn't know if Odin was here... or not, but it was her against a room full of unarmed scientists who were bent on turning her into some l'Cie puppet for their own use. And as far as she was concerned, she was in shape and they probably weren't. _Even without a weapon, even without magic, I can still... There's no more pain, not that I can feel, and without pain, I can fight and not listen to their garbage about Serah._ Without realizing it, she had pushed herself into an attack position, and she heard the scientists' cheers stop. _Know who you're dealing with now? _Lightning bent her knees slightly, and prepared to spring onto the dark figure who was just outside the circles. _Larcell._

Abruptly, the yellow glow of the rune circle disappeared, and so did her summon circle. And the moment the circle was gone it was like it had taken the strength it had lent her away, and Lightning sank to her knees again. She glanced up in time to see Larcell standing over her, something sharp in one hand.

"Can't have you using your l'Cie power on me, now can we? The rune circle is deactivated for now, but it's enough to know that whatever fal'Cie erased your brand clearly hasn't the power to keep it erased in the face of another. We've gotten enough data from you today, so, sleep for now, my little Lightning. We'll play again soon. And perhaps, next time, a little _incentive_ might persuade you to be a little more cooperative."

And the last thought Lightning had before darkness crashed over her like a tidal wave was her sister's face, Hope, even Snow...

_The people I care about..._

* * *

><p><strong>*sits*<strong>

**I feel like Light just about now, haha. I'll leave the interpretation of the events up to you (feel free to speculate via reviews though, but keep in mind I _do_ know what I'm writing about, heh), and honestly, the next few chapters are not going to be very nice to Light. *pats her***

**But onto a happier note since I don't want to spoil anything else, Sazh will make his grand entrance in the next chapter, and a very grand entrance/part it will be. *gleefully rubs hands together***

**So, once again, leave love in reviews so review monster will be happy, and I'll do my best to get the next chapter up by tomorrow or at the very latest Saturday. I'll let you guys know when I'm having a certain chapter Beta'd so you guys know when to expect it being later than a daily update.**

**Cheers.  
><strong>


	10. Petals and Sacrifices

**Hey again!**

**Thanks again for tuning into the next chapter installment here, and I hope you guys are enjoying yourselves so far (because I know I am).**

**Shoutout to OscarMerrinoz96 for reviewing every new chapter I put up (man, you're the best!) and for my other "serial" reviewers, GCFarron and ziel101, you guys rock.  
><strong>

**Nothing really much to say before this chapter (apart from my usual warning of dark themes), so we'll get started with the show, and I know you guys (after all of you who PM'ed me) care about what happened to Light, so here we go. Enjoy! (:**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 10: Petals and Sacrifices<span>

A shrill call of a little chocobo announced Sazh's arrival, but the older man looked far less happy than his pet did. Snow stood at the entrance of their house, watching the pilot struggle though the tall grass stems that lined the small mountain path. _I need to tell Serah to remind me to mow the lawn after we get Sis back._ He never had doubts that they'd find her. _Sis, I know you're out there somewhere. We'll come get you, you'll see._

"Hey!" Sazh's voice sounded right beside him, and a yellow fluffball attacked his coat, chirping madly. "You alright, hero?" The older man's voice was tired, and Snow saw the light of suspicion in his eyes.

"Yeah," he replied, scratching the back of his head. "Just... too much has happened in the last two days. Kinda overwhelmed, ya know?"

Snow felt Sazh lay his hand on his shoulder. "Yeah, I'll say. Man, kids these days... You guys are just trouble magnets, aren't you?"

Snow managed to let out a laugh. "Yeah, guess we kinda are, old man. Why don't you come on in so we can explain the situation?" Sazh walked past him, muttering darkly about how kids could never stay out of trouble these days, and how they dragged seniors into battle time and time again. The yellow fluffball on Snow's shoulder let out a peep, and happily fluttered into the house.

_At least one of us is happy._

* * *

><p>Serah tried not to look at Sazh as she was offering him tea. She didn't know him like everyone else did, but she'd heard enough about him from Snow to know that he was the first person who decided to follow Claire when she derailed the train in the Hanging Edge. And since Sazh didn't live with them, Serah saw him rarely, and never made the effort to speak with him. <em>But we need his help... for Claire.<em>

"Thanks Serah." Gently nodding at his thanks as she set the teacup before him, she moved to sit beside Snow. She wasn't quite used to the accent he used to speak with yet, and he intimidated her a little.

"So, you guys wanna tell me _exactly_ how you lost Lightning?" At his words, Serah flinched. _Because it's my fault. I should never have let her out of my sight that night. _She felt Snow elbow her, and she looked up at his slightly angry face.

"Not your fault," he hissed quietly at her. Serah only nodded, and leaned her head against his broad shoulder. Her light pink hair fell gently in front of her eyes, and she raised her right arm to brush it away, only to wince at the flash of pain from her side. Serah didn't want to speak, didn't want to see Sazh's reaction when they told him how Claire had gotten taken away, didn't want to hear the story over again complimented by the all-too-fresh memories crowding into her consciousness whenever Claire's name was mentioned. So Serah buried her face against Snow, trying to block it all out, remembering the day when Claire refused to tell her how exactly her mother had died. She'd been angry at Claire then, but now, thinking back on it... _Maybe there were things Claire never wanted repeated either... ever._

* * *

><p><em>Serah had sat down at the couch where her sister was eating. It was rare that Claire got to eat with her during her work weeks, so Serah made sure to enjoy the moment as much as possible. She only saw Claire early in the mornings sometimes, and apart from the occasional day Claire took off of work, they never really spent time together anymore. Luckily she had Snow now, but she wondered if her sister was ever lonely in the way she was.<em>

_But today Serah had a purpose in keeping her sister in a good mood. She'd unearthed some medical documents in her sister's room while she had been cleaning it, and although she hadn't meant to look at it while putting them back, she'd caught sight of their mother's name on most of them. She hadn't really understood the messy doctor's writing on it, but if Claire had put such an effort into hiding them, there had to be something important in them... right?_

_"Hey... Claire?"_

_"Mmhmm?" Her sister didn't look up from her food, playing with it with a knife._

_"Can I ask you something?" Serah hoped her voice wasn't trembling; she already knew Claire was going to be angry that she'd gone through her room, even if Serah had only been cleaning. Usually Claire insisted on cleaning her own room, not that it was ever messy, but she'd always insisted on dusting it herself and such._

_"Uh huh." Her sister's voice was nonchalant, clearly not expecting anything odd._

_"Do you remember... when Mom died?" She hated the way her voice quivered on the last word, hated the way it made her sound because then she knew Claire would only continue to treat her like a child and continue to protect her, when her sister should have been living her own life._

_The look on Claire's face turned from puzzlement to a hesitant anger. "Serah... did you look through my stuff?"_

_Holding her hands behind her back, Serah shuffled fluffy slippered feet, trying to avoid her sister's gaze. But Claire's ice blue glare wasn't easy to look away from. "I found some stuff... while I was cleaning your room... I didn't mean to look through it, Claire, honest! But..."_

_"But you decided to look through it anyways?" There was a quiet menace in her voice as the look in her eyes darkened._

_"It had Mom's name on it, and I..."_

_In an instant, Claire was on her feet. "Serah, I told you not to look through my things for a reason." But Serah couldn't see why details of her mother's death had to be so secret. She was fifteen now, the exact age Claire had been when their mother died; with no other family to turn to, the doctors had no choice but to tell the then fifteen year old Claire everything. Feeling an irritation rise in her chest at the thought that Claire didn't want her to know, Serah got up too, looking at her right in the eye._

_"Why can't I know about it?" The words came out more snappish then she had intended, and she saw the blaze of fury light in Claire's eyes. But there was something else, something Serah couldn't pinpoint just at that moment, but what she had later recognized as pain._

_"Serah, there are things you're better off not knowing about. I'm not going to pretend I'm not angry at you for going through my stuff, for whatever reason it was, but I hid that stuff for a reason." Lightning's voice was firm, and Serah knew she was trying to control her temper._

_"So? That doesn't mean I _don't_ have a right to it! She was_ our_ mom, in case you've forgotten!" Letting her anger take hold of her, Serah had run out of the room, ignoring the hand her sister had extended to her, and slammed the door to her bedroom. She'd heard her sister knock, but Serah didn't feel like opening it, didn't want Claire to explain. She heard her sister's soft footsteps disappear down the hallway._

_When she'd worked up the nerve to apologize for her outburst later that evening, she had crept to the living room, finding her sister asleep on the couch. Serah wanted to shake Claire, to wake her up, but she knew that Claire would only be angry that she interrupted her sleep._

* * *

><p>"So, what you're saying is... some fal'Cie reviving scientist dudes have soldier girl?" Sazh's tone was slightly disbelieving as he looked around at them all. "I mean, obviously Lightning's not here, but don't you think the whole fal'Cie thing is sorta, you know, crazy?"<p>

"It doesn't matter if we think it's crazy. If they think they can do it, we can't really stop them..." Hope's quiet voice sounded from where he was sitting on an armrest. "Sazh, do you think you can get us an airship? To Oerba, I mean."

Sazh scratched his afro, careful not to disturb the snoozing chocobo chick in his hair. "Well... I suppose. Tomorrow morning, then? I'll need to contact my superior, and organize for Dajh to remain with your NORA crew for a bit longer, but it can be done."

"Thanks, old man. You really know how to step up to the plate when we need you." Snow's voice was hearty and appreciative - Serah liked that. He was always so optimistic. Between Claire and Hope she'd gotten the idea that his optimism on the journey had either annoyed the heck out of everyone or kept them all going. Somewhere between the two, Hope had told her. Gently wrapping her arms around his waist, Serah leaned into him again.

"Alright!" Snow pumped a fist into the air. "Tomorrow we go to Oerba and get Sis back!" Serah saw Hope shake his head, and Sazh pinch the bridge of his nose, muttering about how reckless kids these days were. _Well... _I_ like this about him._

"Hey, baby, you should get some sleep now if you're gonna go with us, okay?" Serah turned her attention to Snow's face as he looked critically down at her. "I know that side of yours is bruised pretty bad. I wouldn't even let you go if I didn't know you cared so much for Sis."

Sazh took a single look at the happy couple. "Alright, kids, I'll be here at seven tomorrow, see y'all then. Don't worry, I'll see myself out." And with that, Sazh shut the door of the house behind him, the chocobo chick snoozing happily in his hair. _Man, I really can't catch a break with these kids, can I?_

Snow had shooed Hope off to take a shower, and he'd carried Serah to their bed. Serah couldn't look at the empty room that was her sister's... it was too hard. Too many memories invaded her reality whenever she saw or heard anything that directly related to Claire. _Claire... I really, really hope that you're okay... That you're gonna be okay._

"Hey... Don't put that look on your face." It was Snow. He held her small hands in his, and Serah appreciated the warmth that they held. "Sis wouldn't want to see you looking like that."

_No, she wouldn't. But she's not here because we let her fight._

"Look, baby, I know you're upset, but brooding about it isn't going to make it better. What was your motto again...? Oh yeah, 'face it later'. Well? What happened to it? It disappear the moment Sis got taken away?" Snow scratched the back of his bandanna as he said this, looking intently at her.

Serah couldn't respond. Pulling her hands out of his grip, she wrung them despairingly. "No... but... Snow!" And she couldn't hold back the tears again as they tumbled down her cheeks. She felt a big hand wipe them gently away, and those same hands pull her into a warm embrace. "Snow... I can't bear it anymore... Do you have any idea what they might be doing to her? I can't close my eyes without thinking about that scream of hers, can't look or hear anything about her without remembering how she looked in the arms of that man. What if we're too late...? What if...?" Serah tried to contain the whimpers that were coming from the back of the throat, but she only managed to choke on more tears as they fell gently into Snow's shirt, darkening it.

"Shhhh... don't think like that, okay? We _will _find Sis. Don't give up before we've even started." Gently, Snow pressed his lips against her cheek. Serah didn't pull away, knowing that she needed him, knowing that even thinking about Claire more would only make it worse. She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her head into 'her' spot on his shoulder. "There... see?" His quiet whisper made her look up.

"Don't think about it, just think about what we have to do. You'll see her again, I promise." And this time, it was her who leaned in, gently pressing her lips to his, letting everything else slide away.

_Snow... You and Claire work so hard to protect me from everything ugly in this world. And I know you do it because you think I can't handle it. But this... this made me realize the people who pledge to protect me can't always be there for me. You can't always take the blows so that they're softened when I get hit. I made a promise the day I saw Claire again too. I promised myself that I wouldn't let her do everything alone anymore. And I won't. After this... Claire won't have to fight by herself again. I promise._

* * *

><p>Gripping the sheets, Lightning jerked herself awake from the depths of the nightmare, trying to calm her breathing and the shaking that was consuming her body. Looking at the torn cloth of her uniform, she saw the white l'Cie brand again. <em>How did this happen...?<em>

The rune circle. What was it? Why did something like that exist... in the first place? She didn't know, and didn't really want to find out.

Making her way slowly over to the door, she wasn't surprised to find it locked. Leaning against the cold stone, Lightning tried to cling to her reality, but it was slipping. Her dreams were filled with the people here pushing Serah into the rune circle, watching her scream, and not being able to help, frozen to the spot. Giving her head a small shake, she tried to focus on what she needed to do.

_I need to get out of here... I need to find out why this l'Cie brand is back... and why I'm needed for this "Eclipse"._

Gripping the wall, clenching her fingers into a fist, Lightning pressed her forehead against the freezing rock, hoping its touch would calm the raging thoughts and emotion. She remembered what the military psychologists said when one was faced with an unknown situation and didn't know what to do. _Repeat facts you do know, and slowly work towards facts you don't._

Lightning took a deep breath. _My name is Lightning Farron. I am a Sergeant for the Guardian Corps. I am..._ was_ a l'Cie. My Eidolon's name is Odin. These people want me because they think I'm going to be of use for activating their "Eclipse". I don't know what the Eclipse is. I don't know how I'm going to get out._

A small whimper escaped her lips when she realized she couldn't do it, couldn't continue. She _didn't_ know how she was going to get out. _But Serah… and Hope. I promised I'd be there for them… I promised._ A cold hand wrapped around her left upper arm, just below her pauldron. Quickly, she wrenched her arm out of the grip, glad that she had enough strength to do so. Turning to glare at the person who had grabbed her, she noted that it was the same person as last time, and from the look on his face, she knew he was smiling.

"Defensive, aren't we now? Larcell is happy you're awake, Lightning. He'd like to see you again."

"But I don't want to see him," she snapped. "I don't want to go back."

Gently, he laid a hand on her face, stroking the bottom of her cheek. His grip tightened, vice like, and she found herself being forced to look at him. "You don't have a choice." The voice was quiet, but ever syllable was laid with menace.

Quickly, she flashed out her slim fingers, closing them around the cloaked arm that held her face. "How many times do I have to tell you people not to touch me?" She felt the burning anger begin to rise in her stomach, and narrowed her eyes at her assailant. She was a l'Cie again. She wasn't sure if she could cast magic, but hopefully the empowered limbs that being a Pulse l'Cie gave her was enough to take this one man out. And with any luck, he'd left the door unlocked so she could get out.

But he'd seen her glance at the door, and the smile on his face cracked even wider when he saw what she was thinking. "Ah ah ah… can't have you doing that. Larcell predicted you might, which is why he fashioned _this_." From under his cloak, he whipped out a shiny silver bangle that she instantly nicknamed the _arm shackle_.

"And what… the fuck is that?" Lightning tried not to sound disdainful; she was pretty sure she knew what it did.

"Well, let's just say… it contains l'Cie power till he deems you fit to use it." While his grip on her face loosened, she took the opportunity to wrench her face from him, and backed away quickly, settling into a defensive position. Lightning knew she couldn't give him the opportunity to put the arm shackle on her.

"Heh. You're not getting away from here… you know that, right? It's not going to hurt you."

_Fuck it won't hurt me. That thing is going to take my only chance at escape and literally throw it out the window._

And try as she might, he'd probably eaten and drank in the last forty eight hours and she hadn't. He hadn't been knocked out with various concussions and drugs, and she knew the last of the drugs was probably still in her system. She felt his hand close around her throat, and her hands instantly went to the hand that was holding her, trying to pry it off. And in those seconds she felt cold metal close around her slim wrist. Dropping like a rock, she felt the strength she _thought_ she'd regained drain from her; she felt as empty as she did when she first woke up in Lake Bresha after falling from the Pulse Vestige.

She felt the hand close around her other wrist again, pulling her up.

"Come along, you've wasted enough of Larcell's time."

* * *

><p>Serah stood at the edge of the small cliff in the weak morning sunlight. The sun hadn't yet touched Cocoon's bottom curve, and it wasn't strong enough to dispel the fog that still shrouded most of New Bodhum.<p>

_It looks so peaceful… and, yet it's so hard to believe that just a few days ago, this town was fighting a war.  
><em>

Leaning down, Serah picked a small flower that was growing on one of the rock cliffs. Some of its leaves were missing, but the flower was still in full bloom, dusted by the morning dewdrops. _And something so beautiful can still bloom, even after everything its been through. It's a survivor._

"And Light is too," Hope murmured quietly from behind her. Serah turned to see him; clearly she'd said the last words out loud without realizing it. "So don't worry, Serah, we'll be okay. We _will_ get her back." She noticed his hand tighten on Nue as he said this, and she realized she didn't have a weapon.

"Hope... I-I don't have anything to fight with."

Strong arms enveloped her from behind. "Don't you worry about that, baby. We don't need you to fight for this. All you need to do is to keep Sis safe after we get her back, okay?" It was Snow. _I hope... that's true._

But the sound of an aircraft made the gentle blooms of flowers blow, and several petals swirled past Serah on their way in the wind. Sazh was here. He landed the small aircraft in their lawn, and poked his head out of the window.

"Hey kids, time to go!" A small "_kweh!_" followed his words as a yellow fluffball appeared in the window. Serah heard Hope chuckle as she eyed it suspiciously.

"Don't worry. That little chocobo can do more than you give it credit for," he whispered. "Come on, time to go."

Snow hoisted her into the aircraft, and Serah picked a side seat so she could look out the window. Snow had edged Hope into the front with Sazh so he could sit next to her, and Serah felt his arms around her shoulders. "Today we get Sis back," he murmured into her ear. Serah leaned against him as Sazh put the craft on a route to Oerba.

"I know. My hero always keeps his promises."

* * *

><p>Gasping, Lightning sank to her knees, biting her tongue, trying not to cry out. Her brand felt like it was on fire, and she <em>couldn't fucking breathe. <em>Bringing her hands to her chest, she tried to call her summon circle again. It had worked yesterday, didn't it? But no matter how hard she reached into herself to try and find the rush of power, it wasn't there. She knew the iron bangle around her wrist had deactivated the moment they'd pushed her onto the rune circle again, but nothing was happening. _Why... won't it let me..._

"Come on, Lightning. I know you want to make this easier on yourself." Larcell.

"Go...to hell..." she spat bitterly. She heard him sigh.

"You're only making this harder for yourself, you know? Maybe I will have to call in someone to bring your sister. Maybe that will convince you?"

"Shut... up. Don't you dare... touch Serah." Her voice came out as a hiss, and if even _she _could hear the pain in it, there was no doubt he could too.

"Or maybe that kid you're so attached to... what was his name again?" He was toying with her, she knew it. She didn't want to play his games anymore, didn't want to listen to the crap he spouted every time he locked eyes with her.

"Don't be difficult, Lightning. Just let us-"

"Sir! An urgent message from the surface!" A shout interrupted his comment before he finished just what he wanted to do to her. Lightning tried to pay attention to the words that were being said.

"An unknown aircraft is approaching Oerba. We have information from one of the spies in Pulse Management that it's being piloted by a man named Sazh Katzroy."

She heard him clap his hands in glee. "Excellent, excellent! We did have the perfect bait! Now the rest of the l'Cie we know of are coming, and we all know what that means!"

Every single muscle in Lightning's body seemed to freeze. _Serah, Snow... NO! Don't come here, please don't come. You'll just end up on this fucking circle like I am, trying to ignore the pain because they're trying to get you to summon an Eidolon and have you join them..._ She _couldn't_ let that happen. Even if it meant...

"Fine," she rasped quietly. "I'll play your little games..."

She saw the scientist turn back to her, interest lighting his eyes. "Oh really? What made you change your mind so fast?" She knew he knew the answer; she could tell by the way he looked at her form, crumpled on the ground, knees drawn up to her chest, fingers digging into the stone.

"Just don't... Leave them alone..."

"Is that a deal, my dear Lightning?"

She nodded weakly, not trusting her voice to sound strong enough. He pulled her roughly into a standing position, his face inches from hers. "Just remember," he breathed quietly. "If they attack us, we will have no choice but to counterattack. I will instruct my men to give them fair warning. But if they insist, well..."

Lightning felt her muscles weaken at the thought. Snow would for sure charge into this place like all of hell was chasing after him, but if...

"I hoped we would come to this conclusion, Lightning. We _appreciate_ your cooperation."

* * *

><p>Oerba's ruins came into focus as they rounded the crystal shell of Cocoon. Sparkly bits were still present in the air, and Serah had to hold back a soft gasp of surprise. <em>Vanille's hometown is so pretty... It must have been very beautiful once.<em>

But as they neared Oerba's ruins, dark shapes began to form in the sky and on the ground, and Serah heard gunfire. _Monsters?_

The entire aircraft jerked left and right as Sazh tried to avoid the projectiles being fired at them from the ground. Serah could hear him activating switches as she desperately clung onto the seat's armrest.

"Snow, I need you up here!" Sazh's voice cut through the disarray and confusion. "You need to take the controls to target those monsters!"

"Got it, old man, I'm coming." She felt Snow's comfortable presence leave her side. _Snow... I need you too..._

She saw him take the joystick like control, and saw one, two monsters disappear from sight, melting into black smoke. There were more, but none seemed to be spawning, and she couldn't see a summon portal.

"Take out the guns below too, we'll get the grounded monsters when we land!" Serah gripped the seat tightly as Sazh began to accelerate and decelerate, suiting Snow's angle of shots. "Hold onto your breakfasts, kids, this is gonna be one hell of a ride!" But she could hear the slight amusement in his voice. _They must have done this plenty of times..._

Serah closed her eyes; she didn't want to see the violence, didn't want to hear it. But she could still hear the mechanized clicks and booms of the weapon Snow was using, no matter how hard she tried to tune it out. Maybe Claire had been right - she had never been accustomed to violence, would never...

And so she squeezed her eyes shut, no longer paying attention to the battle, and tried not to "lose her breakfast" as Sazh had claimed, as the craft swirled in and around the monsters. And finally, after what felt like an eternity, Serah felt the familiar arms embrace her.

"It's okay now, baby. It's over. We're gonna land now, and we'll find Lightning. Okay?"

Burying her face in his chest, Serah wrapped her thin arms around Snow. "Okay."

* * *

><p>Pain. Surely this was what it felt like to be burned at the stake, if one didn't die of asphyxia within a few minutes. Every single muscle of her body screamed to be released, but she knew... that for Serah... Hope, and everyone else she cared about... that wasn't going to happen.<p>

She didn't know what they were doing to her - didn't really _care _anymore. She'd let the words spiral around her, not taking it in. It was something to do with trying to coax the Eidolon from her brand, but it wasn't going to happen like this. _That _much she knew. Odin only came when _she _called him, when_she _needed him desperately. Not like this.

Lightning had given up trying to fight it, there wasn't any point. Even if they did end up summoning her Eidolon somehow, it wouldn't work like that. Words, sentences, screams and shouts crowded her consciousness, but none of them as acutely as the burning pain. _Shouts...?_ _Wait..._

Thumps of footsteps. She couldn't hear what they were saying over the only sound she could hear - her heartbeat, but the tones were frantic. Distant booms, dying, guttural screams of monsters. The presences she felt in the rooms diminished, but she knew at least one person remained. _Watching me scream myself hoar__se._

The shouts were closer now, but she couldn't tell who they belonged to. There were only a couple of sounds she knew she could attribute instantly, but none of those were it.

And she hoped, desperately, that she would never have to hear them.

* * *

><p><strong>*sits quietly*<strong>

**The content of that last segment there made me feel like I was so insignificant, even though I know it's not real. I feel shocked into silence, and _I _wrote this. Kweh. Hopefully that wasn't too dark/intense or anything for anyone (and if it was, I do apologize). D:**

**So yeah, I mentioned last chapter that things weren't going very well for Light... I won't spoil anything, but I think it's rather obvious that our "hero" and company will find her soon. So hang in there, Light.**

**That entrance of Sazh's? Well, that's only half the show. I realized half of it was going to be in the next chapter _after_ I posted the last chapter, so well, more Sazh/Chocobo Chick (who is a girl, btw, did you know that?) epicness in the next chapter.**

**I tried to do an intense SerahxSnow moment there halfway through the chapter. But unfortunately, while I think I'm okay with writing darker themes, I don't think I could have taken that farther than I did. This fic is and will not be rated M for anything other than language (which is progressing to be more and more colourful, as I noticed) and dark themes/violence.  
><strong>

**Anyways, once again, feed the review monster (correct speculations as to plot/characters gets you a special shoutout) and next chapter will be up tomorrow. Pack your weapons kids, it's action time. (Well, most of it will be, anyways)**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	11. Chained Feathers

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of Nascent Requiem! **

**First and foremost I would like to thank my reviewers ziel101, OscarMerrinoz96, GCFarron, and GazerBlitz.** **You guys really keep me inspired with your lovely comments, and I thank you for the time it takes to write it out! (:**

**Special shoutout this time goes to SquallRocks, because man, you hit some of my inspirations right on (and I totally agree with your sentiments about said game -.-):**  
>-<strong> Yes, Hojo was for sure an inspiring trait in Larcell, but I also stole some concepts off of Hollander. Seriously, those scientists crack me up every time I play Crisis Core.<br>-While the Oerba Ruins weren't inspired by Augusta Tower (though man, that fricking place is annoying - I hated the BGM for it as well so that's_ great_), you were close! Think Taejin's Tower with FFVII Mako Reactor decor for the Oerba Ruins.  
>- You hit the NPC thing right on the nose. And though well, I wasn't actually thinking of Augusta Tower while conceiving Oerba Ruins in my head, well, you'll see why I thought you read my mind when I read your review. (Though I assure you that the characters aren't, well, digital looking copies or anyone. Basically, I have a different idea in mind for a similar concept) :p<br>**

**So onto the chapter, since I know you all want to know what's going on with Light. Enjoy as always!  
>And oh yes, when I mention "green" later in the chapter, think Mako (from FFVII) green.<br>**

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><p><span>Chapter 11: Chained Feathers<span>

Snow landed with a thump on the ground. The ruins of Oerba were so different from the last time he'd been here it was almost unrecognizable. The city of ruins had been flattened in more than one place, and new, shiny metal construction skeletons were littered around the place. _Just what the hell are these creeps building here?_ Holding Serah's hand tightly, he kicked his way through the rubble. He heard Hope mutter a curse behind him.

"Aight, so… where d'you reckon they're keeping Lightning?" It was Sazh. Snow glanced up at the sky – the sun had fully risen now, but it was far from noon. And the sparkly bits that still floated in the air weren't making it easier to see.

"I dunno, but let's look around. And keep on guard; don't think that was the last of their fighting strength." No sooner than Snow had spoken those words did several monsters burst out of some crumbled cement to their right, followed by several people wielding guns. He heard a click behind him as Sazh flicked the safety off his Total Eclipses. Snow shoved Serah behind him. "Stay close to me," he hissed to her. He balled his large hands into fists. _Bring it._

He buried a punch in the face of an incoming monster, swiping at its side when it landed with a squeal on the ground. Several shots from behind him told him that Sazh had gotten a few more, and a flicker of colour in his peripheral vision meant that Hope was also busy with Nue. Sinking a few more punches into a nearby monster, keeping Serah behind him at all times, Snow let a fleeting grin of satisfaction light his face – if this was the only thing they had to deal with, they'd have Lightning out in no time.

Something whizzed past his ear, and he heard Serah shriek. Turning towards the source of the sound, he saw that it was one of the guys who'd been using guns. _Why didn't they shoot before?_ Several bangs behind him meant that Sazh had fired back, and Snow saw one of them drop to the ground. Charging forward with a yell, Snow punched the nearest one in the head, giving the man a kick and dislodging the weapon from his hand. Picking up the gun, Snow fired a few rounds before he threw it at the closest enemy. A boomerang took out the one standing a few feet away, and he watched as it swerved back to hit another. _Nice one, kid._

Snow toed one of the men with his boot, and with that small motion, the man's mask and hood fell away to reveal a tall, thin nose, and slitted red eyes that stared into death. He heard a small whimper behind him.

"Snow…? Why… do they all look the same?" Serah's trembling voice was a little quiet as she was standing a few feet away, examining another dead hit man. Intrigued, Snow walked to her side.

She was right. The man lying there in front of him had the exact same face as the one he'd just looked at. _Just what the hell is going on here?_

"I don't know, baby," he said quietly to her, draping an arm around her shoulders. A crunch of gravel announced the arrival of Hope.

"What are you two looking at?"

In response, Snow pointed to the man on the ground, and then the other one a few feet away. "They all look… frigging exactly the same. What the hell is this?" Hope came up behind him, and carefully inspected the man lying on the ground, checking him carefully for anything that might lead to a clue.

"Find anything?" he asked the teenager.

"No, but it's not helping us find Light if we stand around here. Let's try to find an entrance." Hope away, and walked towards Sazh, who was poking around a new construction skeleton several dozen yards away. Serah started to trail after him, and letting out a sigh, Snow followed.

Seeing Sazh wave in the distance, Snow picked up his pace, skidding to a halt in a smattering of dust.

"Whatcha find, old man?"

"Someone called for an entrance? I think we've got an entrance right here," Sazh replied, pointing at a series of stone steps that led downwards into the darkness. Snow gulped at the sight of it - an ominous cold wind was oddly blowing out of the tunnel. Though he didn't want to admit it, the dark hole leading into the ground reminded him of dungeons and other unpleasant places. No, the steps definitely did _not_ give him a good feeling about this.

"Well... shall we?" Hope started down the first few steps, a determined glint in his eye. _The kid is really bent on rescuing Sis, isn't he? _

"Wait wait wait wait wait, before we all go chargin' in there." Sazh put a hand on Hope's shoulder, pulling him back. "Couple things I want to get straight before we start an all out invasion."

"First, be mindful that we only have three capable fighters. That means no picking undue fights, better sneaking past the guards then trying to snipe em. Second, we are here for _Lightning_. No one else. So Snow, don't go and be yellin' at every single guard in there. And that goes for you too, Hope. We don't need undue injuries, and the faster we find Light, the faster we get outta here, got it? Serah, you're to stick close to one of us at all times. _Don't_ go wanderin' off tryin' to find Light yourself."

Snow growled deep in his throat. The older man knew more than he let on; clearly picking out each of their weaknesses. "Alright, old man, I got it. Can we go now?"

Sazh held up a finger. "One last thing. We stick together, ya hear me? We fight better as a group, and who knows what's waitin' for us down there." The little chocobo peeped out of his hair, and mimed Sazh with its wings, letting out several happy "_kweh!"_'s. _Geez, the birdbrain has to rub it in too?_

* * *

><p>The fire was raging endlessly. She couldn't escape, and no matter how hard she tried to run, the flames ate at her lungs and spine. Except there wasn't a way to get rid of it - it was like an internal fire that she could never quench. Like a phoenix.<p>

She wasn't sure how much time had passed, in fact, she wasn't sure if _any_ time had passed. The only indication of time was her own heartbeat, and she knew her heart was beating too fast to begin with. Lightning tried to cling to the last vestiges of reality, knowing she wouldn't win.

No new screams penetrated her failing consciousness though, she hadn't heard anything for awhile. _Hopefully... that means they've gone home...right?_ She refused to even entertain the thought of the alternative to that.

Her fingers closed on her palm, but she found no refuge in the action. Digging her nails into her skin didn't make it better. Her throat was already raw from screaming and she didn't think she'd have enough air in her lungs to manage another sound. _Just... make it stop..._

Lightning wasn't even sure if she could summon Odin anymore. _Doesn't Odin... feed off my strength?_ How did they expect her to bring him out if she was as weak as she felt? That one time, she knew it had been out of anger and desperation. _Well... I'm desperate now, but I can't..._

A much closer, strangled yell pierced through the persistent fog settling in her mind that was dulling everything, even the pain. A few heartbeats later came the tinkling of broken glass. _Who...?_

Feeling her hands touch the cold stone floor, she felt vibrations tremble her slim fingers. _Oh Maker, please no... Don't tell me they're..._

Lightning choked out one quiet rasp, before it petered out into a hoarse scream.

"Serah..."

* * *

><p>Hope glanced down the dimly lit hallway. The whole place looked pretty old for something he hadn't noticed before, and he was quite sure that this place hadn't existed the last time they'd been in Oerba. Of course, they'd been running around with Vanille trying to fix her little pet, Bhakti, but he was certain that <em>someone <em>would have noticed a huge gaping hole in the ground.

_This whole place looks more than centuries old. Was it built in the War of Transgression? And if so, __what for? Why bring it into the open now?_

A faint green light was blinking at the end of the hallway - the next flight of stairs down. Quietly motioning for Serah, Sazh, and Snow to follow him, Hope placed each foot carefully on the ground before moving again. Rocks didn't creak, but that didn't mean it couldn't crack, and this place was old - the rock could give at any moment. _Maker knows we can't survive a cave in._

A guard was at the bottom of the stairs, looking aimlessly around, clearly aware that there were intruders. But Snow had been smart, for once. He'd found a side staircase near the place they'd entered, and by Sazh's reckoning they'd avoided most of the guards and monsters alike so far. _If only our good luck will hold..._

Hope's fingers tightened on Nue as he took aim. The guard wasn't that far away and he didn't need to kill the guy. But a small crack sounded behind him, and he whipped around to see Snow cover his mouth in horror. _Typical Snow._

The guard had turned around, mouth opened to yell, but Hope had already thrown Nue, and it hit the man in the temple before he could utter a sound. Creeping down the stairs carefully, he inspected the man lying at its foot. His hood had slipped off his face, and Hope saw the same features they'd noticed since they'd taken out the guards at the surface. _Have they just mastering cloning... or are these not... really people?_

The open door just past the unconscious man led to a large circular hallway, with something in its centre that glowed a sickly radioactive green. As Snow passed him, he heard a whispered "Sorry!". _Snow is the most indiscreet person in Gran Pulse... I hope he knows that. _Clutching Nue like it was a life line, Hope curiously walked to the windows overlooking the centre area, wondering what exactly was causing the green light.

A short gasp escaped his lips as he looked down, and he heard Sazh come up behind him instantly. "What's this, kid?" Hope couldn't reply, and pointed down at the mark that was emitting the green glow. A circle in the ground, inscribed with ruins that he couldn't understand, but clearly in the middle of it, was the mark of a Pulse l'Cie brand.

* * *

><p>Snow held Serah close to his side as they all looked down at the green insignia of the l'Cie brand far below them. "What is that...?" he heard her whisper.<p>

"Don't know," he murmured back. "But whatever it is, it's probably not good. Let's just avoid it and try to find Sis." He saw her pink head bob. So far, she'd been okay, no one had really targeted her, and she'd kept out of the way. For the umpteenth time that day, Snow wished Serah had stayed at home. No matter how much she wanted to see Lightning, a battlefield wasn't the place for her.

Snow led the way down the circular hallway, finding another staircase that led further down on the opposite side of the circle. He had a nasty feeling that they weren't on a side stair anymore, and that any time soon, more guards and monsters would appear. _Just let us find Sis soon..._

But the less guards they encountered, the more unnerving the place got. There wasn't any natural lighting, and Snow knew that with each descending flight of stairs they got further and further from the surface. And the further down they got, the less stairs there were. _A one way street. We're gonna have to fight to get back to the top, and we can only assume Lightning isn't up for combat, which means that's someone else to protect._ Not that he was going to back down now.

Movement in the corner of his eye made Snow spin around, and he saw the monsters appear from a small side hallway. Several loud bangs from Sazh's pistols easily took care of them, but he knew the noise wasn't good. Any noise at this point would alert more guards to them.

And the thought had barely finished forming in his mind before at least ten guards burst out of the door at the end of the hallway.

Snow didn't even hesitate before barreling right towards them. His fist caught one in the chin in an uppercut before the guy had even raised his gun to shoot. A roundhouse kick flung another at the glass pane that overlooked the green l'Cie rune, and a shattering of glass greeted the man as he flew through it. _Oops._

Two men were already down in front of him; already the blood was mixing with the glass shards on the ground, and a sickening crunch sounded somewhere behind him. But the guards weren't amateurs, and Snow had to dodge several sword swipes and bullets before his fist hit the stomach of another one. Burying the punch deep in the man, Snow used the same momentum and flung him at one of his buddies. The two crashed into the doorframe, and Snow whipped around, his fist hitting one more in the cheek.

Observing the mess of guards that lay around them, Snow cracked his knuckles. _Amateurs. Did they really think they could take us out? _He felt a small hand slip its way into his, closing on his fingers. Serah.

"Snow?" Her voice quavered a little, as he felt her lean some of her weight into him. "How many more... are there?"

He ruffled her hair playfully. "Don't worry. It doesn't matter how many they throw at us. We're not leaving till we have Sis safe and sound."

Easing open the now bent door, Snow noticed that instead of leading to another staircase, it lead down a hallway. And this hallway had doors. _Have we finally reached the bottom floor? Just how far below ground are we? _But doors meant opportunities - Lightning could be in any one of them.

Sazh's quiet voice sounded behind him. "Don't do anything rash now, hero."

* * *

><p>Hope sighed inwardly as he shut the door behind him. It was the fifth door he he'd checked now, and none of them were even <em>locked<em>. And unlocked doors meant that there was nothing of value to hide. He'd found a few books, several boxes of provisions, weapons, and dust. _Obviously, these are supply rooms. _And none of them were helping to find Light. He was getting a little desperate now - none of them had expected this place to be so big, and Light was _one _person. She could have been anywhere, and they could have moved her since they'd gotten inside. So Hope had continued aimlessly down the hallway while Snow and Sazh meticulously checked each room. There was a door at the end of the hallway, and there was more glowing light peeping out of it. It was yellow this time, and Hope had the nastiest feeling that someone, or some people, were waiting just beyond the doorframe for them to open said door.

"Hey kid, where are you going?" Obviously that was Snow, and he sounded a little angry.

But Hope was angry too. For all his hero antics all Snow had done was almost get them caught more than a few times. While there was no doubt that Snow was a desirable ally in battle, the big man was about as discreet as a full grown chocobo presented with gysahl greens.

"Snow, it's obvious that those are supply rooms. I doubt they'd have Light hidden in a supply room. Come on, we're wasting time," he hissed back.

He heard Snow give a sigh, but a small pattering of light feet and a slower thump told him that both Snow and Serah were behind him. He pressed a finger to his lips, and cracked open the door in front of him a tiny bit. When no sound greeted them, he felt Snow push the door open so hard it banged against the opposite wall.

"Why hello there, my little l'Cie! So glad you could join us? Looking for your friend there?"

Hope narrowed his eyes. The place looked like a meeting hall, and it was a few seconds before he located the owner of the oily, singsong voice. He locked eyes with the strangest looking human he'd ever met - comical and yet menacing at the same time.

Silver cat eyes, blond hair, wings. _Is he a human... or a monster?_ But Hope didn't really plan on finding out. He knew the man knew they were looking for Light.

"Where is she?" he hissed quietly, bringing the Nue to attack position.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe down this hall and to the left, or maybe down that hall and to the right? Who knows?"

Snow let out a growl of fury, stalking over to the man until his face was inches from him. Slowly, Hope watched as Snow brought up a gloved fist in the man's face.

"Tell me. _Now_."

But the man just laughed, and danced a few steps away from Snow, clearly relishing the look of pure rage on Snow's face.

"You won't find her, even if I tell you. Know why?"

Snow's voice was a growl. "Why?" Hope caught the glimpse of the bitter fury in Snow's ice blue eyes.

"Because-" But the man didn't get to finish his sentence because Hope had thrown Nue at the man's leg, bringing him down to his knee. Redirecting Nue with his hand, the second blow hit the man squarely in the chest. Hope slowly made his way to the scientist, pushing ahead of Serah and Sazh. He continued until he was standing shoulder to shoulder with Snow, looking down at the man that just didn't seem intimidated at all that there were three people pointing weapons at him.

"What... have you done to Light?" His voice quavered a little on her name. _If they hurt her... If they..._ Hope felt rage consume him before he even finished the thought. He'd made a promise to protect her too, back in that one golden sunset in Palumpolum. That one promise that had meant so much to him at that time.

But from the man, only a feeble laugh.

"Go on, kill me." The whisper still held the haughtiness that it had had when they'd burst in. "That won't change anything."

"Yeah?" Snow snarled. "Well... go to hell." Hope heard the unmistakable crack of bones, and the man fell limp in Snow's grip. But his eyes still held a glimmer. _Why... isn't he dead?_ He felt horror and nausea eat his stomach at the sight of a man whose neck was so twisted it looked like it had been glued on, still alive.

"It won't matter if you get her... won't matter if you kill me, because... the Eclipse will still happen. There will be others, far more, who are carrying out the same goal... So rest assured, the Eclipse _will_ come..."

His last words were choked off by a gurgle that quickly turned into gargled laughter. _What...?_ And though it was painfully obvious that he was going to die, the man didn't stop. His eyes bulged as he continued to choke out sounds of laughter. Both Snow and Hope backed away, and he could head Serah whimper somewhere behind him. And when the laughter finally stopped, his body didn't go limp; it dissipated into the same black smoke that accompanied a monster's death.

_Just what... the hell is going on? What is... the Eclipse?_

* * *

><p>Abruptly, the pain stopped. And for a moment, all she could comprehend was the absence of pain, and the ability to inhale and fill her lungs with air without feeling like she was breathing live coals.<p>

Lightning remained on the ground for a few more minutes, trying to slow the hoarse gasps of her breathing and the racing thump of her pulse. Gripping the stone floor with fingers, it was awhile before she had the strength to look up.

A similar man in a scientist's coat. But he didn't look at her with the same gaze everyone else here regarded her with. He didn't look at her like she was some experiment and didn't look at her like he desperately needed her to do something. _He doesn't look like he's enjoying my pain. _She watched warily as he approached her, wondering if the concern she saw in his eyes was genuine, or something else to mask his true intent.

He extended his hand to her.

* * *

><p><strong>So whew.<strong>

**Not the longest chapter by any means (the last chapter was well over 5,000 words), but a _lot_ has happened in this one chapter. (Probably more than the last two put together) So finally some action for most of you, and well, since Snow & co killed Larcell so easily, why wasn't he concerned? *rubs hands together evilly***

**Definitely not as much dark content either; this chapter was mostly action driven. The next chapter will have quite a bit of heavy emotional content, so I may have it Beta'd if it does get to the point where I want it to get to. (As I would really like to get said emotional content right) I'll either update with a new chapter tomorrow, or, if I _am_ having it Beta'd I'll update this chapter with a warning just to let you guys know that it'll take longer.**

**So anyways, speculations/reviews loved by review monster. (Once again, correct speculations gets you special shoutout, so keep the guesses coming!)**

**Hearts!**


	12. Free Will

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR. (:**

**I actually made a mistake, and uploaded this chapter by accident as Chapter 11 (I changed a few words around in that one and must have clicked the wrong document). So Chapter 11: Chained Feathers is fixed now, and if you saw this chapter as the last chapter then well, the last chapter is now fixed. Sorry for any confusion! D:**

**Thanks again to OscarMerrinoz96 for reviewing! ;3**

**So onto the chapter, and finally a big part for Light for those who have been waiting for it! Enjoy as always!**

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><p><span>Chapter 12: Free Will<span>

Lightning eyed the hand he extended to her warily. She still couldn't fully control the shaking of her limbs, and she wondered briefly if his blatant offer of help was genuine or not.

"Look, I'm not going to hurt you." His whispered tones were urgent, and the absence of malice unnerved her a little.

"And why... should I believe you?" She hated how hoarse and desperate her voice came out – it made her sound weak and in pain. _And of course, I _am_ weak and in pain, but I can't accept help so easily... especially from someone I don't know that I can trust._

The man bent down until he was at her eye level, and she noted the eyes again. Red, just like everyone else who worked in this goddamn place. Really, the fact that many of them looked exactly alike made her all the more suspicious of who, or _what_ they were but she was painfully aware that she wasn't in the position to ask at the moment.

Lightning narrowed her eyes, and she knew her distrust was plain on her expression. Forcing her limbs to move, she pulled herself out of her kneeling position on the floor, and sat back, wrapping her arms around her legs. Even that slight movement exhausted her, and she couldn't hold back the slight whimper that escaped from her lips.

"See, you need my help." The man's whispered tones held frustration in them, and Lightning looked at him from under the mess of her pink hair. _Why is he so desperate to help me?_ _Aren't we on... different sides?_ "I'm going to give you two things, okay? Maybe then you'll see you can trust me." He reached behind him for something he'd been keeping in a brown sack, and held them out to her; both items made her heart leap.

One was her omega weapon. She didn't know how the hell he'd gotten it, or managed to get it, but if he was really giving it back to her, then she wasn't complaining. The second was a bottle of water. Her throat burned, and she knew she hadn't eaten or drank in... _I don't even know. _

The gratefulness in her eyes must have betrayed her feelings, because the man placed both items in front of her, and went to rummage in his sack again. The first thing she did was stuff away the omega weapon. However weak her arms felt at the moment, the familiar feel of the weapon comforted her. She eyed the water a little more cautiously. While fairly certain her omega weapon would not blow up in its holster, she'd always been taught as a soldier to never eat or drink anything that she herself didn't prepare.

Her hesitation must have caught the attention of the man, because he turned around to look at her, something else in his hands. "Look, I didn't go through all that trouble to fetch you your weapon to poison you, okay?" His voice held the beginnings of anger. "We don't have a lot of time - I know you don't like cooperating with us, but do you _want_ to get out of here?"

"Okay... fine," she muttered, raising the bottle to her lips. The first swallow hurt - her raw throat unused to the contact, but it felt good; she could feel the first stirrings of some strength beginning to return. It was enough to allow her to push herself into a standing position - sure, the motion made her nearly black out, but closing her eyes against it, she was able to remain standing.

"That's better. Now, hold out your wrist. I have the key to get rid of the thing on your arm." Gingerly, Lightning held out her slender arm, not wanting to look at the bluish purple marks on her skin. The loss of support - she'd been holding onto the wall - also threatened to drive her to her knees again. _No... I can't let that happen. I... _have_ to get out of here._

A small clink of metal on stone made her look up again. The arm shackle was gone, and the moment the metal's touch left her skin, she felt a surge of pain from her brand again. But with that pain came the undeniable rush of burning power - not nearly as much as she was used to, but enough to wipe the exhaustion and vestiges of pain. _The joys of being a twenty one year old Pulse l'Cie, _she thought bitterly.

However, the shiny bangle hadn't left her body without leaving a mark. She winced at the sight of blood and swollen flesh where it had held to her skin, but for some reason, she couldn't feel pain there just yet. There wasn't really anything that could be done about it at the moment though - it would have to wait.

"Come on." The hiss came from the door to the room; really, it was a lab, as she only now noticed. She took a few tentative steps towards the door - definitely not her usual quiet stance, but she could do it without staggering, and the steps didn't seem to make her shoulder flare with pain.

The three flights of steps beyond the door proved harder to navigate - Lightning had to pause and catch her breath every dozen steps or so. But the familiar feeling of the omega weapon hitting the back of her legs reminded her that she _could_ get out of here, if she could hang in there.

Stopping at a fork in the hallway, she noticed the man was waiting for her. She opened her mouth to speak, but he abruptly cut her off with one finger against her mouth. "Listen carefully; I don't have much time to tell you this." Closing her lips, Lightning rested one arm against her hip, and waited.

"I think you've been here long enough to know what we're planning, and you've heard Larcell mention the Eclipse. The Eclipse, or the Lunar Armageddon, is an event that happens every hundred years on Gran Pulse. Normally, it's not anything big, just a lunar eclipse on the night. However... its power _can_ be magnified through the use of four crystals that remain hidden in Pulse. It's rumoured that a Pulse l'Cie is able to sense these crystals, just as Sanctum l'Cie were able to sense Pulse l'Cie. This is why Larcell was instructed to find you and your friends, and why he was so interested in your powers."

"Wait." Her voice came out as a rasp as the newest revelation took hold of her body. "Larcell... is not the one in charge?"

The man shook his head. "We don't even know... how many people were tasked with this. Larcell was instructed to slay the fal'Cie that has slept beneath Oerba to reactivate the ruins underneath it that went silent after Anima branded its last two l'Cie down on Pulse five hundred years ago. We don't know who else is in this... organization, if you will, and none, save perhaps Larcell, knows who is truly masterminding this."

"But continuing... the Lunar Armageddon _has_ the power to open the Door of Souls, should it be powered correctly by the crystals I mentioned. And that is the true purpose of all of this. The Door of Souls. To bring the Maker back into this world." The man paused, waiting for her reaction.

"In other words..." she hissed quietly, "He's trying to do what Barthandelus was trying to do." _What is with these people and bringing back the Maker? And why, why does it always have to be me?_

"Exactly. Take these words as you will, Lightning - I can't force you to save this world or anything-"

"How do I know... Why should I trust you? Aren't you on... their side?" Lightning cut across his words, glad that she had the strength to manage her usual sharp tones. Away from the rune circle things, she really was beginning to feel some of her power return. _I'm not ready for a Thundara just yet, but hopefully it's enough __to get out of this hellhole._

The man looked at her sadly, and involuntarily, she flinched back at the despair in his eyes. "You must have noticed... that apart from a few of us, we all look the same. And that's because we are - clones of one being we will never meet. There is no future for me, nothing for a puppet that was created to serve. But you, Lightning, you have free will; your brand carries no Focus. And that counts for more than anything."

Shocked into silence, Lightning regarded the man closely. She knew it was true... and yet his words hit harder to home than she would have liked to admit. _Free will..._

"Go, quickly now. The remaining clones and people are probably aware that you've escaped. Go down right in this hallway, it leads to a series of stairs that will eventually take you to the surface... or your friends. It's not the only way up, but they probably won't expect you to go that way."

"What... about you?" As much as she would have liked to taken off there and run, she couldn't deny that this man had probably just risked his existence... whatever that was, to help her. And as much as she hated accepting help from others, she was painfully aware that she would still probably be trembling in pain if he hadn't...

"I'm going to go the other way, see if I can stall them." Before she could reach out, he'd already whipped around and sprinted for the other door. She heard a click - he'd locked it. A soft voice sounded from behind the heavy locked door she knew she didn't have the strength to force open in her current state.

"By the way... your sister loves you. Very much."

The words hit her like a physical blow. _Serah_. Of course she was here; Lightning had been stupid enough to think that the oaf of hers would have the hardheartedness and willpower to lock her at home. _So much for protecting her..._ Biting back the tears that threatened to fall, she paused for one moment, hoping that the man had said that, and meant it, in a genuine way. She knew... she hadn't been the best sibling to Serah, she knew that! But she'd tried... _And I can only hope that Serah thinks the same._

She heard the squeals of monsters coming from behind the door; thumps and the shattering of glass. She had to get going if she didn't want to be the next monster meal; she knew she wasn't strong enough to take on anything at the moment; revived l'Cie power or not. Somehow, she knew the words she uttered would never be adequate enough, would never fully return the debt she had to the man she didn't even know the name of, before she turned away to the other side of the hall.

"Thank you."

* * *

><p>Snow crashed through what felt like to him to be the umpteenth door. At this point, it was painfully obvious that being discreet wasn't going to work anymore - hordes of monsters just kept coming and while there were very few guards anymore, the closer they circled to the glowing green mark on the ground the more creepy crawlies there were. He heard Serah hold back a gag of disgust at the monster remains before they faded into black smoke, and he tightened his grip on her waist.<p>

Hope was behind them, picking his way through the crumbled rock and steel, and Sazh brought up the back, the little chocobo fluttering happily behind them. _Dumb birdbrain doesn't even know what's going on... that's why it's so happy. _

Thumps and shouts came from somewhere ahead of them, slightly muffled. Snow heard the faint sound of footsteps on stone, but they were slow and uneven - too slow to be a guard's or a monster's. _There's someone else here...?_ There was only one door far ahead of them, slightly hidden by the circular curve of the hallway. But the thumps were getting louder, and he heard the sound of several glass panes breaking. Breaking into a run, Snow barreled down the hallway; the sound of footsteps quickening behind hold told him that the others were following. Flinging open the door, Snow realized he was looking down another flight of steps. However, the sight before him nearly made his heart stop, and he stood there, stunned, unable to move.

Lightning was clinging to the top step, clearly exhausted, and breathing heavily. He felt Serah slip past him, and then utterly stop. Her shrill screech cut through Snow's stupor.

"_Claire!"_

The soldier looked terrible, her pink hair messy and in tangles, half of it falling over her face. Snow winced at the sight of the mottled bruises on her skin, and her complexion was pale - the only hint of colour was in her cheeks when she looked up, the usual icy blue eyes glazed with fatigue.

"Serah... Snow..."

And then Serah started sobbing, pulling her sister up the last steps of the stairway, and clinging to her. "Claire... you don't know how worried we were about you, Claire, I'm sorry..." Snow felt the first flicker of concern over his inital relief at actually finding Lightning as the soldier gently raised a hand to stroke Serah's cheek.

"Serah... it's okay... I'm here." Her voice was raspy and hoarse, and she tried, unsuccessfully, to push her sister's arms off of her. Snow moved forward, and pulled Serah off of Lightning.

"Hey, baby, give her some room, okay?" He let out a small chuckle. "You're not the only one dying to see her." The proof was right behind him when Hope pinned Lightning, who had just managed to pull herself into a standing position again, against the wall in a fierce hug. Snow's eyes widened slightly when he saw her gently embrace him back. Snow suppressed a smile; the soldier's soft spot for the teenager was no secret.

"Hey... I promised I'd come back... didn't I?" Her voice held the smallest trace of warmth and humour, the tones she usually saved for her sister.

Hope's reply was muffled. "Just don't do it again."

A small laugh escaped her lips. "I won't... but now's not really the time to be discussing it... We should get out."

"That's right," Sazh's voice sounded behind the reunion. "Guards are coming, and I'll bet my pistols those were monster sounds down there. Nice to see you again though, Light."

He heard Lightning give a soft snort. "Nice to see you too... old man."

Ignoring her protests, Snow plucked Hope off Lightning and picked her up, bridal style. He couldn't resist the chuckle at how she managed to maintain an indignant expression at the gesture, even considering the seriousness of the situation they were still in at this time.

"That's two beatings you owe me now, isn't it, Sis?"

Her tired glare told him all he needed to know, and he set off with her behind Sazh, who was now in the lead, closely followed by a happier looking Hope and Serah.

* * *

><p>Serah felt like her heart was lighter than the dandelion fluff that drifted over Gran Pulse on warm spring days. Claire was safe... they'd get out of here soon, and everything would be okay... She followed Hope, who still had his boomerang out, as they climbed the steep stone steps. She thought they were about halfway up now, and glancing back at Snow, she noticed that Claire had fallen asleep. The back of her eyelids were purple, and Serah shook of the uncomfortable nag that ate at her stomach - Claire didn't look too well.<p>

A sudden boom threw her against the stone wall as particles of dust began to rain down over their heads. _Cave in?_ Panic set in her chest, as she glanced around at Snow for direction. Snow was busy shielding Claire's head from the particles of rock that were beginning to sift down, but he caught her panicked expression.

"Run! I'll be right behind you!"

Serah didn't need to be told twice. Setting off at a brisk pace after Hope, she could only believe that Sazh, who was in the lead with his chocobo, knew where he was going. The steps flashed under her feet; she didn't even know where they were headed now - the only thing in her mind was that they had to get out of here before most of the place came crumbling down. _Did they collapse the walls on purpose, knowing we might be caught in it?_

The ground split under her feet, and Serah let out a terrified cry, backing away from the cracks that loomed in front of her. She saw Hope pause and look back. A flash of concern crossed his eyes before it was replaced by grim determination.

"Serah, step as _lightly as you can_. You're not too heavy; it should be okay."

Serah swallowed nervously. True, Hope wasn't that much lighter than her, and he'd been okay... Placing her feet carefully against the rock, gingerly, she tried to step where the cracks were the smallest. She heard the rock give way several times under her sneakers, but Hope was right. She wasn't heavy enough to cause the cracks to widen much and turn into a gaping hole.

And then she remembered Snow, who was behind her. Not only was he a lot heavier than her, he also had Claire. Instantly, her head snapped back to across the cracked floor. Sure enough, Snow was standing there with a sheepish look on his face, his expression a little hopeless.

"How am I supposed to get across?" _He still sounds like he's making a joke, even though we could all be caught in this one cave in and die. _

"Put me down first... moron." It was Claire, who did not sound impressed. Serah looked at her to see she was awake; there was more colour in her cheeks, and if she had the energy to insult Snow, then she had to be feeling better. _Right?_

"You sure, Sis?" Snow's voice still held the concern.

"Yes... I'm sure. I wouldn't have asked... if I wasn't." Carefully, Snow lowered her onto the ground until her feet touched the stone, and the moment they did, she moved forwards. Sticking to the sides of the wall, Serah watched her sister slowly make her way across the cracked floor. Her gait was a little uneven, but there was a grim expression in her eyes that told her Claire was going to be okay.

The last few steps across the floor proved more tricky, and Serah watched as Claire carefully put her weight more directly on the stone. Her heart felt like it was in her throat; if the stone gave way now, right after she'd gotten Claire back... _I don't know what I'd do..._ Serah felt herself let out a terrified whimper when Claire stumbled, and she rushed forwards to catch her sister. Luckily... Claire had been light, or careful, enough to get across. Wrapping her arms around Claire again, Serah helped her sister straighten up.

"Thanks..." Her sister's quiet mutter made her glance up. She hadn't seen Claire up close yet, and now that she had, Claire's skin looked papery and she could see the faint lines clearly left by cuts or wounds otherwise. She felt Claire brush her off impatiently, and she turned back to Snow. A grip tightened on the back of her shirt.

"Move back... The only way he's going to get himself over that thing is by jumping..."

Serah allowed herself to be pulled back by her sister. Burying her face against Claire's shoulder, Serah couldn't bring herself to watch as Snow backed up. _If he jumped short... his momentum alone would be enough to completely break the floor... Oh Maker, please let Snow be okay, please don't take him from me..._ She felt her sister awkwardly drape an arm over her shoulder. The touch was light, but it was there. Her heart warmed a little at the contact. _Claire..._

"Don't worry," she heard her murmur. "'Heroes never die'... remember?"

The loud thump that announced the landing of Snow's jump was enough to make a cave in of its own.

"See? I knew I'd be okay, baby, you didn't have to worry." Strong arms pulled her away from Claire and into a warm embrace. Serah heard Claire give a snort, but she buried herself against Snow anyways. _You're safe..._

"Look, we have a timed escape." An impatient voice broke her moment of solace, and she knew it was Hope. "We've wasted enough time here." She glanced around to see Hope had attached himself to Claire's arm, and was gently pulling her forwards. "Come on, we're almost there. Sazh says the chocobo can see sunlight from the next flight of steps."

"Alright, kiddo, we're coming." Snow didn't let go of her until she'd broken into a run after Claire, who was being supported by Hope now. The telltale sounds of Snow thumping after her warmed her heart. _We're really going to be okay now... right?_

* * *

><p>Hope breathed a sigh of relief when he felt the Gran Pulse breeze hit his face. For a moment, he raised an arm to shield himself from what he saw as the overly bright glow of the late afternoon sun. Glancing at the entrance to the underground ruins, he saw the swirling motes of dust drifting lazily from it before being caught by the zephyr and quickly dissipating, caught in a celestial dance. <em>Beauty out of destruction. <em>

They hadn't met any more guards or monsters, and the chocobo chick hadn't seen any outside either. It was like they never existed... _Except for Light, who knows firsthand how real they were._

"Well, kids, ready to go home? Lightning looks like she could use some serious rest, and I'd wager none of you would say no to a nice bed either." Sazh's voice was followed by the happy chirps of the chocobo chick, oblivious as ever to the danger they'd been in. Of course, with the absence of the monsters and guards, the whole place did look much more welcoming. _Like it did when we first arrived here with Fang and Vanille. _He glanced at the crystal pillar, touched to a golden orange by the sun. _Your hometown is beautiful again..._

"Yeah, you're right, old man. Where's the aircraft?" Snow was looking around, squinting in the fading orange light.

He heard Serah, who was clinging to her sister, give a little giggle. "Uh, Snow? I think you're looking the wrong way." She pointed behind him, where the craft was perched a little ways away from the main town.

"Oh... right." Snow scratched his headband, not looking the least bit embarrassed. _Nothing ever makes Snow feel like an idiot, does it? _Shaking his head, Hope followed Sazh to the aircraft.

* * *

><p>Night crickets chirped in the silence of Gran Pulse. Serah had insisted her sister go to bed, and for once, Claire hadn't protested. She'd simply huffed, but allowed Serah to push her to the bathroom.<p>

Serah had crept downstairs, where Snow was relieving his stress in his usual way: a video game. Serah smiled to herself - Snow wouldn't ever grow up, but then again, that's what she liked about him. He paused the game when Serah had walked into the room, and opened his arms. She didn't hesitate before walking into them.

"See?" He murmured into her hair. "I told you Sis would be okay, and that we'd be safe."

She looked up, a small smile spreading from her lips. "I know my hero would be able to make it."

He ruffled her hair. "You know it." Serah held him tighter against her, marveling in his warmth, his strength, the safety she felt when she was with him. She felt him press a chaste kiss to her cheek. "Come on, baby, you need to rest too."

* * *

><p><em>Pain.<em>

_It was attacking her from every angle, and surely, surely this was what it felt like to be a phoenix. To be burnt endlessly. She tried to fly above the flames, but the wings only burnt more fiercely the more they were flapped. To the unquenchable flames, and to be reborn over and over in pain._

_A small bird, tinged in pink and white. The colour of the delicate cherry blossoms that her sister loved so much. A slightly smaller bird, the silver streaks reminding her of the moon and crystals. _

_But none could escape the flames. There was less oxygen the higher they flew, and she watched them plummet into the rising columns of flames. Trying to go after them, she found that she couldn't. Every attempt was stopped by the fire, by the pain. She tried to scream their names, but no sound came from her mouth. Black tendrils threatened to grip them, and darkness washed over the atmosphere in moments._

_The fire burnt brighter in darkness. _

_Desperately trying to reach them, she tried flapping the wings harder, ignoring the pain. But she only fanned the flames - unable to reach them, a scream of pure frustration and pain escaped her lips._

* * *

><p>The sound pierced through the midnight darkness. It jolted Serah out of her dreamless sleep in an instant, fear holding her heart. She knew exactly whose scream it was.<p>

Claire.

* * *

><p><strong>So heh, I lied.<strong>

**I was originally gonna put the heavy emotional content I talked about last chapter in this chapter, but that opening segment with Lightning took _way_ longer than I expected. When I finished typing it, it was almost 2K words long and there was still so much more to go. I generally cap my chapters at around 5.5K because I don't want to greet you guys with a wall of text 11K words long (which this would have achieved had I included said emotional content).**

**Which means that the next chapter will hold it all, and also means that the next chapter will _for sure_ be Beta'd. I'm not sure how long it will take - I expect to finish by tomorrow, and well, my Beta needs to get back to me. I'd say late Sunday night (if I finish tomorrow afternoon), but it's likely going to be Monday. I'm not sure. Either way, after I send it over to her, I'll start the next chapter so you guys won't be missing anything in terms of amount of chapters. (You might even get 2 at the same time)**

**Feed the review monster as always, and once again, your love is much appreciated!**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	13. Waking Nightmare

**Hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR. Once again, all your love is really appreciated! n_n**

**Shoutout to my reviewers for the last chapter: GCFarron, Dhampire12, OscarMerrinoz96. You guys rock, and I'm glad you like where I'm going with this so far. ;D**

**So this chapter is a little late - I spent _w_****_ay _more time agonizing over it than I usually do for most chapters, because as you will soon see, I really, really wanted to get the first half of it right. And so it was also Beta'd by my awesome Beta Reader. Anyways, I don't want to spoil anything I shouldn't (I want this chapter to have its full impact), so let's get on with the show. Enjoy as always!**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 13: Waking Nightmare<span>

Serah didn't even hesitate before running to her sister's room, Snow right behind her. She heard the door Hope's room bang, but she didn't stop as she pushed the door to Claire's room. Of course, it was locked; she should have expected that. Digging in the pocket of her robe, Serah fished out the sparkly hairpin, and inserted it into the lock. She heard a satisfactory _click_ and didn't waste any time barging into Claire's bedroom.

Her sister was still screaming, clearly locked in the grip of some nightmare. Bounding onto Claire's bed, Serah hastily brushed aside sweaty pink tendrils of hair from her face before roughly shaking her. "Claire, wake up!

For a moment, Serah was scared that she was going to physically strike her, so she backed off a little, rocking back on her ankles as she kneeled by Claire's shoulder. Her sister sat bolt upright, and Serah cringed at the terrified, pained look in her eyes. For a moment, she was afraid that Claire didn't know who she was, where she was, or what was going on.

_Claire, no..._

And then Serah saw her visibly relax, slumping forwards as the tension left her muscles.

"Claire, what happened...what's wrong?" Her voice trembled - she hated seeing Claire like this. So..._vulnerable_. So different from the hard, cold exterior she put on every day. _And she wouldn't be like this...if something wasn't __seriously wrong._

"Urgh, Serah... did I wake you up?" Her voice sounded tired, but there was a hint of relief in it. "Don't worry... go back to sleep, okay?"

Serah leaned forward and gripped her sister's shoulders, feeling somewhat empowered when Claire didn't brush her off. Carefully observing the look in her eyes, Serah saw a mix of pain, fear, guilt..._a_ll ___of__ the emotions she doesn't show. Ever._

"No! It's not okay!" Although pleased that her voice came out strong, Serah didn't dare look at her sister, knowing that even glancing at her again would only weaken the resolve she'd worked up. Lightning needed to hear it, and she needed to hear it _now_. "Claire, you keep everything bottled up inside; you don't tell us anything, you don't tell us when you need help. We care about you, but when do _you_ ever show you care about us? First, Snow. I know that _you_ know he cares, but you act like he's some stranger. And I thought Hope would open you up a bit, but you still answer him so formally, as if he's one of your superiors. _Why_? Why can't you see that _we all __care? __No one asks _you to do everything alone, but you still do!" she finished angrily.

Serah took a breath, and glanced away from the wall back to her sister. Her blood pumped loudly in her ears, the adrenaline coursing through her body adding to the feelings of indignation she bore towards the way her sister always acted. Yet the next moment, Serah felt icy dread settle in her stomach as the hurt registered on Claire's face. But that one moment was washed away as the expression was swept away by unmistakable anger - a look Serah knew so well she backed off, and let go of her sister.

"Serah, what do you know? What do you know about me, about how I care about other people? I joined the military _because __of you_. You think I wouldn't have taken the chance to go to school? Tell me how else we were supposed to scrape by. And don't even start about..._this_," she said, gesturing animatedly in her general direction. "Do you_ know_ what hell I went through just to get those fucking scientists not to attack you? You ever think about what that place actually _was_? Do you think that I spent my time there in some _fairytale_?"

Her voice was so cold, so utterly ruthless, that Serah gasped. And then she realized there was something else mixed in with that defiant harshness: raw pain. Serah opened her mouth - she had to stop Claire before she continued shouting, but her sister wasn't finished yet.

"You wonder why so few things attacked you in that goddamn place? Serah? Because I..." And there, Lightning's voice choked off into a hoarse sob as she gripped her arms, shaking visibly. Serah felt the familiar dread choke her entire being when she saw the silver streak of tears on Claire's face.

_Because what? Oh Claire, don't tell me..._

* * *

><p>Hope stood quietly at the doorframe with Snow, listening to Serah try and comfort Lightning. He'd intended to let her do it, to let Serah calm her sister down, but things had spiraled out of control with both sisters now shouting at each other.<p>

He had felt Snow tense when Lightning finally snapped - he knew she was crying and..._Light never cries in front of people. __Never.__ Not unless..._Pushing Snow behind him, he made his way carefully into her room. He sat down on the bed opposite of Serah, who looked utterly stricken with shock.

Gently, he put one arm around Lightning; watching her shaking, holding her arms to herself and crying was enough to make him _severely_ doubt that what he wanted to say was the right thing to be said at the moment. But the truth needed to be said... _Light, I need to know __that you __wi__ll__ be okay..._

"Light?" His voice was hesitant, and he hated the way it quavered when he spoke her name._I can't stand to see you like this...to me you're always the person who's in control, __who__ knows what she's doing...and now..._He needed to know...he needed to know what she'd gone through. She didn't give any indication that she had heard him. His touch was barely there, but it still looked like he was hurting her - the mottled bruises across the shoulders and slender arms that the black spaghetti strap tank top didn't cover were painfully obvious in the shafts of moonlight peering in through the window.

He tried again. "Light? What...what did they do to you?" His voice didn't quiver as much this time, but his nerves were screaming at him to release the building tension.

At his words, he heard a small whimper escape her lips. For a moment, he was unsure if he'd heard her – she made no indication that she had. He saw her fingers tighten around her arms, effectively turning certain bruised patches a sickly greenish-yellow. It was a few moments before he heard her whispered reply.

"Do you... really want to know?"

He had never heard her sound like this before, never heard or seen her look so incredibly _vulnerable_. Because the woman hunched in front of him was _not_ the soldier he'd come to expect, but someone who could easily have been any other scared, frightened victim. Stripped of her abrasive attitude she was, quite simply, a young woman struggling to fight the inner demons that were plaguing her. And what scared Hope the most was that _she wasn't winning._

Lightning's voice was barely audible.

"They tried to make me... use my l'Cie power. They said my brand wasn't gone, it was only hidden, and that... they could make it come back."

Hope heard the collective intake of breath in the room. _Is that even possible?_

"…and, Sis? How did they plan to do that?" Snow asked in a quiet, unobtrusive voice. Well, as quiet and as unobtrusive as a wild behemoth could have been.

But Lightning didn't seem to hear Snow, didn't seem to know that any of them were there. Her blue eyes were staring at something in front of her, and Hope knew that wherever she was, she wasn't here with them. Hope tensed when he heard the utter lack of any emotion whatsoever in her voice - whether she was doing it intentionally or because she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings, or lost in memories, he didn't know.

"Those ruins under Oerba - they were where Fang and Vanille got branded...it's got fal'Cie power. And that circle in the middle...it really made my l'Cie brand come back..." Her next words came as a whimper, like she was choking on the very words themselves. "It hurt... it hurt so badly... I wanted to die. I didn't want to cooperate, didn't want to go along with whatever they were planning... but then they mentioned you were coming, and I _had _to let them..." Her voice trailed off, and she shrugged off Hope's touch, turning her head away from them to face the window.

"WHAT?" Snow's boom made Hope jump, as the big man stomped into the room. "Sis... this isn't some joke you're pulling on us now, is it?"

He saw her head snap back, the familiar blaze of anger in her eyes. "Would I lie... about something like this?"

"Show me," Snow hissed at her. Hope flinched at his tone of voice - he knew Snow wasn't angry at _her_, but the man tended to explode at everything around him when something upset him.

"No," she shot back. "You know where my brand is." And Hope could see it, now that he was looking for it, partially hidden by the tank top she wore. But it was there, a burnt out mark of a Pulse l'Cie. She had seen him look at it, and the look in her eyes held both pain and defiance. However, that wasn't what bothered him. The words she'd said before…_that_ had chilled him to the bone. And he believed her. Hope didn't need proof. Lightning's word was her honor.

_"__It hurt...it hurt so badly I wanted to die... but then they mentioned you were coming, and I _had _to let them..."_

Those words cut him in the worst way possible - he had to bite his lip to stop himself from making a noise. Because Light never admitted to _anyone_ she was in pain. And for her to finally admit that...

_Maker, I don't even __want__ to __know_ how much agony she must have been in___,__ he thought to himself._And the following sentence had made it worse. She had been in pain because she had wanted to protect _them_. The utter despair of that one thought made him grip her bed sheets like they were the only thing he had left to cling to sanity with. They hadn't even been injured, and she was... He opened his eyes, trying to push the enormity of that one thought out of his mind, only to see that Serah was looking at her sister with the same expression Hope knew he was wearing.

"Claire... you shouldn't have..." Serah's quiet sobs cut through the silence that had followed her words. Hope watched as she leaned forward to pull her sister against her, and when Lightning didn't pull away, Hope knew how much that one experience had shaken her. He didn't want to hear anymore when she explained in that same dead voice about the Eclipse; he didn't want to know anymore.

But one thought permeated his mind, over and over.

_Light was tortured and forced to become a l'Cie again...because we weren't there for her when she needed us __the most__._

* * *

><p>Lightning didn't want to go back to sleep. Snow and Hope had left her room; she had hated the look on Hope's face after she'd told them. <em>This is why I keep things to myself. <em>But as much as she didn't want to accept her sister's help, she had to accept that there was no way she could fall asleep again without reliving the same nightmare._ And I can't...__I just __can't__._

Serah's arms were still wrapped around her. She desperately wanted to both brush her sister's touch away and bring it closer. Serah's warmth comforted her a little, and the way her arms latched onto her shoulders made her feel protected...in a good way.

"Claire?" Serah's voice was quiet and timid - she seemed to have forgotten the words she'd yelled at her earlier, but Lightning knew she couldn't. Those words had cut instantly to the very bottom of the barrier she had always constructed around her innermost feelings, and had ripped apart more than she wanted to admit. _Am I really...do I really seem that heartless to others?_

"Uh huh?" She hated how pathetic her voice still sounded, hated how she had utterly broken down in front of everyone, hated the looks of pity she'd gotten. _I didn't give in to get those worthless looks of pity; to hear Serah and Hope lament what I've been through. I did it to save them...because I promised; I wouldn't let them feel the same pain._

"Claire...did you really...agree to it because you wanted to save us? Because...Claire, that's..." Her sister's voice was a pained, broken whisper.

Lightning let out a quiet sigh. "Yes, Serah, I wanted to look after you. Since when...has that been different?"

She heard her sister sob once. "But Claire... you never mentioned that they..." And she knew Serah couldn't bring herself to say the word. Couldn't bring herself to look at her older sister like that._ And that's why I have to protect you. You never could see violence; you never wanted me to be a soldier. And so that means you're delicate, that I can't let you see things that are ugly, things that aren't meant for civilian eyes. Because that's all you've ever looked at this world through. And I know that._

_"_Serah, it's because I didn't want to see you like this that I didn't mention it. I told you, it's okay...I don't have a Focus, I don't have to leave..." She hoped her voice sounded reassuring enough to her sister. It wasn't that she didn't believe it, or didn't accept it. Fang had told her that a white brand meant it wouldn't advance... and that opened more than a few possibilities to her.

"I know, but still...Claire..." Her sister's arms tightened around her shoulders, and Lightning winced when it brushed one of the bruises that littered her arms. Awkwardly, she held her sister back, putting a slender arm around to her back.

"Shhh, it's okay...I said that already. Go to sleep, Serah."

And as she predicted, Serah fell asleep before her. Leaving her sister on her bed, Lightning crept over to the swivel chair in front of her desk and sat down. Her eyelids threatened to close more than once, but every time, a single thought of that one nightmare made her feel like she would never get a chance to sleep peacefully again.

She watched the light rise and fall on Serah's side, an indication of the lightening sky of early morning. Cocoon's crystal shell was just beginning to turn a hint of lighter blue, and she sighed. Every time she looked at Cocoon she felt the same onrush of memories, and the same feeling of...happiness? She didn't know, but looking at Cocoon, the place she'd worked so hard to save, it made her feel complete. But today, the sight of the crystal pillar just made her feel cheated of the victory she'd worked so hard to win. Glancing back at Serah, Lightning reminisced why she had gone to the Hanging Edge that fateful day._My entire life got pretty messed up because of what I...what __we did, but I only have to look at what I have now to not regret it. Even if I don't get a good night's sleep ever again._

She spared one last glance at Serah before getting up to go downstairs.

_But you need to. Even if I never...Serah, you need to live a life that's __actually__ happy._

* * *

><p>Snow tramped his way downstairs, hoping to sneak by Lightning's room so he could make her a nice breakfast. Sure, it probably wouldn't help that he'd seen her utterly lose all control and break down last night, but still... He'd heard somewhere that a good meal made people happier. <em>And Sis could use a heck of a lot of cheering up at the moment.<em>

But he'd arrived at the kitchen to face the same icy blue eyes he wanted to comfort. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and he could still see dark shadows under her eyelids. _Did she get _any_ sleep __at all last night?_

"You're up early." Her voice didn't sound tired at all, on the contrary, she sounded irritated that he had interrupted what she was doing in the kitchen, which was staring outside at Cocoon.

"Hey Sis. Nice to see you're... better?" Hopefully she wouldn't get mad at those words - Lightning was always so uptight about everything. _She even wears her uniform when she's at home. And it's pretty obvious she's not happy that I saw... last night.  
><em>

"Thanks for the concern," he heard her mutter sarcastically.

He put on a serious face. "I wasn't kidding Lightning. You okay?" He saw the flash of anger ignite in her eyes, and he knew it was the pity she heard in his voice and on his face. _You hate it when other people have to care about you, don't they?_

"Snow, when I want to be babysat I'll let you know, okay?" With a huff, she eased herself off the chair, and into the living room to open the blinds. Hearing her quiet footsteps fade away, he let out a sigh, and turned to a cupboard. _Now... what would Serah and Sis like for breakfast?_

He was humming absent mindedly to himself, beating a few eggs, when he heard soft slippered feet coming downstairs; smiling, he turned around, knowing it was Serah in her pink fluffy slippers. His immediate instinct was to open his arms, and it wasn't a surprise Serah walked right into them. He ruffled the top of her head - at least _she_ looked better.

"Hey baby. You alright today?" He felt her lean against him.

"Uh huh." Her voice was muffled - she was still pressed against his shirt. "Where's Claire?"

Snow laughed. "Sis is in the living room, apparently she can't stand to be in the same room as her hero." Serah giggled, and reached over the counter to help with the eggs.

"I heard that." Lightning's irritated snap came from the living room. "Snow, I still owe you a couple of punches for touching me like that... twice. Be sure to expect them soon." He just laughed, scratching the back of his head with one hand.

"Bring it, Sis."

* * *

><p>Serah smiled to herself as she helped Snow make breakfast. It was great to see Claire and Snow get along... somewhat. She hadn't gotten over what her sister had yelled at her the previous night, and just thinking about it made her shudder...Pushing thoughts of last night out of her mind, Serah tried to focus on this morning. <em>But at least she sounds alright today...<em>

Dumping the eggs in a pan, she searched around the fridge for something else. Her eyes lighted on a stick of butter, and she'd seen a box of cake mix in one of the other cupboards. A small smile stretched her lips. _Snow will enjoy this._

Presenting the cake and the scrambled eggs to the living room, she set down the plates with a clatter. She heard Claire sniff disdainfully.

"Serah, why is there cake for breakfast?"

"Because I felt like it," she called back in a singsong voice. She heard her sister snort, but she danced away before Claire could close a hand on the back of her shirt. Humming to herself, she walked back to the kitchen. It was only then that she remembered the last time she'd made cake for her sister.

* * *

><p><em>Serah had danced happily before Snow, carefully shaping the icing like a chocobo. She heard him laugh, the warm, hearty laugh that she loved so much as she delicately tried to shape its head.<em>

_"You think Sis will take nicely to a chocobo cake? I mean, you wouldn't let me buy a Carbuncle doll for her." She'd given him a playful slap, but she had been giggling._

_"Of course she will, Snow. Don't be a spoilsport." Laughing, Serah finished the tuft of feathers on the chocobo's head, and added a candle so it looked like it was holding it in its beak. She felt her fiance lean against her as he admired her work._

_"You know, Serah, you're really good at cooking."_

_She giggled again, her fingers finding his. "You're just saying that because I agreed to marry you."_

_"No, I mean it. If Sis doesn't like this cake, then I'm a Bodhum swamp monster." She laughed again - Snow knew how to make her laugh without even trying. So different from Claire. It wasn't that her sister didn't care about her or anything... Claire just didn't show it the same way. With Claire there was no hugs or laughter, but with Snow, Serah felt animated in a way she'd never felt before._

_"Well," she admitted bashfully. "I am the better cook in this household."_

_"Are you now? I expected my future wife to be talented." His voice was warm, appreciative.  
><em>

_She let out a giggle. "You just want me to cook every meal for you." _

_"Nope, I expect my wife to do everything for me." And for a moment, Serah was scared that he wasn't joking. Looking hesitantly up at him, she saw his twinkling eyes, and she smiled again. _

_Poking him in the chest, Serah happily accepted the embrace he offered her. "Lightning is better at housework though... but that's only cause she's had more practice." _

_She felt his lips in her hair. "Well then, baby, you'd better ask her to teach you before the big day or she'll be stuck doing the housework for us too."_

_Laughing again, her heart feeling lighter than air, she didn't believe at that moment her sister would say no. Not when she explained that Snow made her happy, that he would always be there, and would help her find her Focus. And so, that time, her words had rung true, and she never believed for an instant they wouldn't be._

_"I will, I promise."_

* * *

><p>Being outside felt good, even if it was only for a brief period of time. Lightning looked at her reflection in the glass of the newly repaired patio doors, and marveled at how normal she looked on the outside, give or take a couple of bruises, while she felt like such a wasteland in the inside. Now that she was actually away from the place, the implications of the tattoo on her chest were beginning to sink in.<p>

It was true that she had no Focus, so that was one big worry down. But... she wondered how everyone would react if she accidentally, or purposefully, used her magic at work... which she was due back tomorrow. For once she'd been thankful that Snow had actually done something _useful_ - he'd called Amodar to tell him she'd been hurt in that monster invasion and Amodar had told him five days. _Has it really only been five days? It feels like I've had enough shit happen to me to last a lifetime. _

But she'd had enough of Snow this morning; he'd tried to smear icing on her hair and well, for Serah's sake she hadn't punched him back. Pulling out the omega weapon at the table didn't seem appropriate either, so she'd walked out of the dining room, and slammed the door to the back lawn. And here she was, fuming slightly in the morning air of Gran Pulse at the idiocy of her sister's husband.

She heard the patio door slide open, and her right hand went instantly for her gunblade.

"Snow, I'm not in the mood for your silly games, got it?"

"It's me; don't worry, I'm not eating anything." Hope. She waited until his shoes crunching the grass were close before she turned around.

"Mmmhm?" She took in his tousled hair and the pale complexion. _Looks like you didn't get much sleep either... And that's my fault again. Fuck, why was I stupid and weak enough to break down and tell them everything? _

"Light, know how, well, you're a l'Cie again?" His voice was a little hesitant, and she guessed that he thought she would snap at him for asking.

"Uh huh?"

"Can you cast magic? I mean, have you tried?"

_Why does this kid seem to read my mind?_ She shook her head. "Nope... haven't really had a chance to try. Why... you wanna see or something?" She saw his head bob sheepishly.

"Wouldn't it be... well, cool, if you could? I mean, you don't have a Focus so..."

She let out a sigh. "Well, I suppose I would have to figure it out sooner or later. Just don't let Snow out here; I don't think I can control my temper around that oaf right now, and if I launch some spell at him, it won't be my fault if it hits him."

"Someone call my name?" Obviously, Snow had been either eavesdropping or just had freaking good ears. She let out an inward groan - now Snow was going to treat her like some freak show.

"No, Snow, just go back into the house and make Serah happy, okay?" She was tired of his happy go lucky attitude. Why didn't he ever get serious?

"Uh uh, Sis, you're not getting rid of me that easily."

The magic exploded her brand like a bomb. It filled her entire being, and she could feel it run down to her left hand: where she always directed it from. She didn't know what spell this was supposed to be, and if she was honest, she didn't really care. The next thing she knew, Serah and Hope were bent over a very soaked Snow next to the door of their patio, while she was looking at her left hand in slight shock. She hadn't even meant to _cast_ it just then, and it was a good thing she missed... well, most of the target at any rate. The very wet splotch of grass next to Snow had taken most of the Water spell.

She watched Snow jump to his feet, a shocked expression on his face.

"Sis... you didn't have to launch a Water at me to let me know I'm not wanted." Serah's eyes were round as she stood next to her husband. _Of course... she's never seen me use magic. _

"Claire... was that really.. did you just cast a spell?"

She shrugged. "Well, your oaf was dry for the moment before I did, so, I assume so, Serah," she replied dryly. While Serah was helping Snow towel off his hair, she felt the familiar rush of magic fill her entire being. It made her feel complete in a way - she had almost missed being able to use magic in the months since Cocoon's fall. She felt the power flex when she touched on the well where she'd always drawn her magic.

She glanced up at the sky again.

_Maybe being a l'Cie again like this... isn't so bad._

* * *

><p><strong>So yes, Lightning finally snaps in the first half of the chapter. Poor Light, she finally completely breaks down even though she's tried to hide everything from everyone. I hope I played that part of her personality right though, and I hope that the way Serah and Hope reacted were believable. I spent a <em>lot<em> of time on that first half, and I really thank my Beta, Wings of Avalon, for helping me through that part as well!**

**But luckily, we get a much lighter second half! It's been so long since we've had _anything_ light and fluffy** **that that part was a blast to write. Heehee, housework and cooking. A note on the fact that Serah calls Light "Lightning" instead of "Claire" - she doesn't seem like she'd reveal Light's real name to people unless Light gives them the privilege (and she "agrees" to tell Snow in Chapter 7 of the game) so before that, I have Serah calling Light "Lightning" in front of other people.  
><strong>

**Next arc is coming up fast, so some more heavy action scenes soon. Maybe not in the next chapter, but Light will get to use her new (old?) found magic on some enemies _very_ soon. *cackles* Should I feel bad for them?**

**Next chapter should be up tomorrow, or even tonight if you guys are lucky - I'm already half done.  
><strong>

**Leave love as always in reviews, and I'll see you guys next time! ;3**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	14. Why We Fight

**Hey guys, and thanks again for tuning into the next chapter of NR! ;3**

**Shoutouts go to my reviewers: OscarMerrinoz96, ziel101 (hope school treats you well, man!), GCFarron**, **and Naz (and I like your speculation, bwahaha, you'll have to wait and see though). You guys are awesome!**

**A bit of personal-ness here: yesterday I spent like 10 minutes in fangirl squeal mode because my Lightning necklace arrived in the mail. It's the pendant she wears as part of her outfit in the original XIII and I spent like half an hour just staring at it. Haha, the little crystals in the pendant do move as you shake it. *jingles it* Anyways, crazy fangirl moment over. xD**

** of this date, this chapter has been updated as my Beta and I have gone through it. Yay, I like it much better now!  
><strong>

**Also, to GCFarron/Naz: I thought about including Fang and Vanille in this fic, but... I know I'm already not going to bring them back. They _are_ due for some cameo appearances in upcoming chapters though - I can't wait to play the Fang/Light interactions!  
><strong>

** Enjoy as always, my lovelies!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 14: <span>Why We Fight

Lightning kicked aside a small piece of scrap metal on her way home from work. Compared to the chaos of the last few days, even fighting monsters that still lurked around the perimeter of the relatively new settlement seemed somewhat relaxing. She closed her hand on her omega weapon – it felt good to be able to use it whenever she wanted again. A few days without her weapon had taught her that much.

The setting sun and the Gran Pulse breeze felt good on her cheeks, and for a moment, she let herself relax. _I don't have to worry about anything…right?_ The same worm of discomfort ate at her stomach – what she'd been told about the Eclipse still made her feel like she should be doing something, but… _I_s it really so selfish of me to think that I don't want to stick out my neck on the line for the world again?__

She glanced at the tall crystal silhouette of Cocoon. _I saved you because of Serah. I wouldn't have cared all that much…if it weren't for her. And maybe that's selfish, but I hate it when I'm expected to save the world just because…_

Sighing, she kicked aside a small flower on the dirt path up to her house. A prickling sense that someone was watching her from someplace afar nagged at her as soon as she emerged from the small cliff that led to home, but she ignored it angrily. _I'm just being paranoid._

She heard loud, happy screeches from the house and that stopped her short. _Serah and Snow, no doubt._ Well, she wasn't getting involved in that - she'd seen and heard enough of their games to last a lifetime. Settling herself on a rock outside, Lightning resolved not to go inside until the screams had stopped. The view from the rock was pretty nice, and she usually didn't have much time for scenery. From here, she could see Cocoon, and just _thinking_ about Cocoon made her trail her hand to her brand.

A feral growl from the gathering shadows made her instantly get up as she pulled out her omega weapon. Scanning the bushes to her right, she quickly pinpointed the eyes that were glowing in the deepening twilight.

"Bring it," she snarled, slowly advancing in their direction.

A loud howl sounded close by her ear as the creature exploded from the bushes, its jaws barely missing her ear. She felt some claws hook in the vest of her uniform, but luckily it had missed her skin. Quickly flipping her weapon to its gun mode, she fired at it, aiming for the shoulder.

The monster swerved around in the grass, and she watched its long claws shred the plant blades as it skidded around. _This one is fast_. Her bullet had grazed its side but she knew it wasn't enough to do her any real damage.

She felt the magic channel to her left hand. _Alright, let's see how you take a spell. _The Thunder she unleashed hit the spot it had been standing the moment before. _Damn, what _is_ this thing? I'll have to take it straight on - it's too fast for ranged attacks._

The happy shouting from the house had stopped - clearly, the noise outside wasn't exactly the most comforting. But she couldn't let that distract her right now - Lightning hoped Snow had the good sense to keep Serah inside.

A snarl from in front of her snapped her attention back to the monster in question as it leapt at her. She met its teeth straight on with the blade of the omega weapon, but it had the advantage - it was pushing down, aided by gravity, while she was trying to push it back. There would only be a moment for her to edge in her next attack and she had to be ready. Somewhere outside of her peripheral vision, the front door banged open.

Readying the spell she was going to cast, quickly, she took her left hand off her weapon. The monster would no doubt win without both her hands on the blade, but hopefully...

The Fira spell hit it right in the face as it fell back hissing and smoking. The acrid scent of burnt fur hit her nose just as Snow barreled out onto the lawn, followed by Hope. But the monster wasn't done yet, and it launched itself at her again. _What the hell? I just melted half its face off, and it's still going for me?_

Shoving it roughly away with a swipe of her blade, she didn't waste any time before throwing an Aero at it, and this time, it let out a hiss as it hit the ground. She whipped out her left hand to stop Snow from running over to it and bashing it.

"Wait," she hissed. Bending down to the monster, now unable to get up but still squirming, she inspected it for anything that might alert her to where it originated from. _Because for sure, this is no normal monster._ And after a few moments of searching, she found it: a scar on its back leg with a five digit number.

"Snow, look." The big man looked clueless for a moment before he followed her finger and his eyes lighted on the number on its back leg. She watched his expression change from puzzled to grim, and knew she had to be wearing the same look on her face.

"This monster came from a lab, didn't it?" Their eyes met once, and she knew Snow was thinking exactly the same thing she was thinking. _Someone's still after us out there. And chances are, they know we were _all_ Pulse l'Cie once._ There was also a pleasant aftertaste to the fact that Snow had caught on so quickly - her sister's husband wasn't as stupid as he acted sometimes.

Lightning didn't even turn around before putting a single bullet into the monster's head.

Snow locked the front door, and for good measure, he put the secondary lock on. Remembering the scared look on Serah's face when they'd heard the sounds of combat outside, he shuddered inwardly at the thought of that one monster that had almost been too much for Lightning to handle by herself. _The hell was that monster?_

His hand shook a little as it lingered on the wood of the door.

"Snow, do you plan to break the door as well or something?" Obviously it was Lightning, who did not sound impressed that it was taking him so long to lock the front door.

"Alright, Sis, I'm coming. Don't rip my hair out."

He found her in the living room, Serah nestled against her shoulder. _She sounds awfully angry and irritated for someone who was breaking down and crying just a few nights before._ She was lazily cleaning her gunblade, and he'd noticed Serah had been making an effort to have more physical moments with her sister than usual.

"Sis?" He heard her give huff of acknowledgment that' she'd heard him. "Did you see where that monster came from? Or anyone around the house?"

He saw her glance up. "Actually, Snow, I was on the verge of asking _you_ that. I just got home from work when I saw that thing, but you sit around all day at home, don't you?" _Ouch._

Hope piped up from the corner where he was busy trying to pull the curtain over the back patio door. "Nope Light – we didn't see anything strange all day…well, not until you got home."

He saw her narrow her eyes as what he'd dubbed the "soldier look" came into them. _She's probably thinking it was gunning for her. And she could very well be right._ Just then, she reached for her phone that she kept in the red pack on her thigh. It was then that he heard the telltale buzzing sound coming from it. Snow looked at it suspiciously - there were only four people who had her number and three of them lived in this house. That meant...

She flipped her phone open impatiently - listening to it for about ten seconds before angrily snapping it shut. Snow saw her reach for the omega weapon and stuff it in its holster, and stride quickly to the front door.

"Uh, Sis? What's wrong?"

She glanced back impatiently at him, before switching her gaze worriedly to Serah. He saw her expression change, and it wasn't hard to guess what she was thinking. _Probably knows Serah will chew her out again if she leaves in a fit like that and not tell anyone what's going on._

"Amodar. Apparently some insurgency at the Corps building. I'm needed." She turned to go.

"No, Claire! This time you're not going by yourself!" It was Serah, and she was looking at Lightning with the same determined glint that Snow had seen her sister wear too many times. Snow hid a smile behind his big hand. _Lightning's forgotten her sister's a Farron too. _

Lightning rolled her eyes. "Serah, I get the sentiment, but who else can come? No one else is a soldier."

Snow felt a big smile crack his lips. "Actually, Sis, Amodar knows who I am. Pretty sure he wouldn't mind if I err...'lent a hand', 'specially if you guys have some sort of rebellion on your hands."

He heard her snort angrily. "I don't have time to argue with you, Snow. If you want to tag along, whatever – it's not my fault if you get sent away." And with that, she turned to the door again. He barely had time to start after her before she strode out the door into the night. One last thought crossed Snow's mind before he closed it, and he motioned with his finger to Hope.

"Don't let her come after Lightning," he hissed under his breath. "No matter what you hear from the TV or whatever. Maker knows she'll probably come running and that could be the worst thing to happen to her."

The understanding was clear in Hope's eyes. "Got it."

Snow tousled the teenager's hair with his hand. "Thanks, kid."

Lightning felt her breathing quicken as she ran through the streets of New Bodhum. She could hear Snow thumping behind her; hopefully he'd told Serah not to chase after them. But she pushed thoughts of her sister out of her mind - her soldier's sense was kicking in and she could hear the shouts coming from the centre of the city. Pulling her gunblade out of the holster, she readied it at her side as she stopped at the entrance to the Corps building. The sight in front of her nearly made her heart stop.

Monsters everywhere. There had been none in the streets, but suddenly, she knew. Like the monster that had only emerged when she'd gotten home, they'd been sent to attack the Guardian Corps building. She didn't stop to wait for Snow. Launching herself over the dead and dying bodies of soldiers and monsters alike, she set off inside. _I have to find Amodar._

But it wasn't going to be easy - the moment she set foot inside the building, monsters launched themselves at her. Slashing left and right, Lightning tried to fend them off without using her magic. _This is impossible_. There were too many people, too many fights going on at the same time, and she was trying to dodge attacks and bullets alike.

Frustrated, she sent a Fire at one of the squealing monsters that was barreling towards her. The moment the spell hit the monster, it dissipated into black smoke. _So they're weak to magic. But I can't use magic liberally here...fuck._

Flipping over crumbled walls, she tried to block out the other sounds of battle in the building. She knew some of the soldiers were on the side of the monsters, but the problem was, she didn't know who was who. As she dived under a collapsing column, she felt hands tighten around her throat as she was getting up. Elbowing whoever was behind her, the impact was enough to let her shoulder roll forward into a defensive hunch. And then she saw who... or rather, _what_ it was.

The same red eyes and pale skin of the person who had saved her. But this time, the eyes weren't filled with concern or whatever she had seen that day in the man's eyes. There was only malice and ill intent in these, and Lightning knew that it wasn't going to do her any good to stop and think about the similarities.

Pressing her left hand to the floor, she whispered, "Aerora." While the Wind spell was taking effect, she leapt forwards, using the floor as a kick off. Pointing the gunblade down, she'd hoped to get the man in the back. But he'd rolled to the side, and her omega weapon slammed into the ground without hitting anything. Wrenching the blade out of the marble, she cast another Aerora. And this time, the man didn't have the time to dodge out of the spell. nThe side of her omega weapon's blade ripped across his throat.

Watching the life fade from the eyes, Lightning stepped backwards to avoid the growing pool of blood. _Damn, I don't have time for this!_ Setting off at a run again, she continued down the hall - Amodar's office was at the very end and she could see and hear the sounds of combat coming from its general direction. Someone's footsteps were thumping behind her, and she spared one glance backwards. _Snow_. _Of course he's following me._ Ignoring the big man, she took a running leap forward over a crack in the marble - there wasn't really any indication of how stable it was and she wasn't going to take chances.

Kicking open the door to her commanding officer's room, she froze in shock.

There was blood..._everywhere_. There were at least four dead soldiers on her left, and she didn't even want to look at their faces that still stared into death. Turning, there was a man that looked suspiciously like...

_Bam!_ And for that moment, she wasn't there. She wasn't in New Bodhum, but back on that fucking circle in the ruins of Oerba. Those same eyes, that same face...she could almost hear Larcell's voice taunting her, telling her there was an easier way to end the pain. And even though she knew from Hope that they'd killed Larcell, that he'd vanished into black smoke, she couldn't shake the image of the man from her mind…

… who was currently sitting in Amodar's chair.

"Recognize me, Lightning? You should - but Larcell was a weak little puppet who couldn't keep his plans to himself." The voice was undeniably cold, and the tone reminded her of Rosch; sadistic and confident. Lightning forced herself to concentrate.

"I'm sure you've already realized that the monsters are from our laboratories, and that they can be... programmed. Clever little soldier, aren't we?"

"Shut up," she snapped back. "Why are you doing this?"

The man slowly got up, and as he did, a horrified gasp tore from her lips. There were at least eight dead or dying behind him, and in the gloom, she could only see the glowing insignias on their pauldrons - but she knew one of them was Amodar. It had to be. Suppressing the sick feeling in her stomach, she turned her attention back to the man that was advancing slowly towards her. She tried to ignore the fact that she could see and hear his weapon dripping with blood, but it was hard; there was so much death around her that her nerve was beginning to weaken... _Urgh, pull yourself together Lightning. You can't lose it now._

"I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet, Lightning. You know what we wanted before. Did you really think that just because Larcell died we were going to change our objective?" His tone was mocking, and he raised his bloodstained sword up to her eye level. He was only a couple paces away from her now, and her hand tightened on her omega weapon.

"The Eclipse?" she hissed. She was greeted with a very cold smile.

"Of course, my dear, pretty Lightning. I guess our Larcell didn't waste any of his time telling you about it. But did you know? We need a Pulse l'Cie to help us find those crystals, and since you so helpfully escaped..." He sighed. "Well, we'll have to find ourselves another, don't you think? And I happen to know of several Pulse l'Cie who are just as capable as you."

_No. Not... _

"No!" she shouted at him, fear rising in her chest. "Not Serah!"

He laughed at her. "Oh, you figure things out so quickly. Maybe you'll be promoted because of your quick thinking, because, as you can see, we killed quite a few commanding officers tonight. Perhaps someone will put your name forwards to Pulse Management. And oh, by the way, it's not just your pretty sister who's compatible...what about that platinum haired teenager you're so fond of?"

Fury. That was all she could feel at the moment. His mocking her, his blatant threat to Serah and Hope; she could feel herself losing it. She knew he could see it, but she didn't really care. Every muscle in her body itched to rush forward and swipe her omega weapon at him, but she knew that it was obvious he was a skilled fighter - attacking out of anger was not going to get her a win.

And she was desperate. Desperate to do anything to save her sister, to save Hope, and to protect the people she cared about. _I can't let him hurt any of them. They can't go through what I did. Fuck, why...?_

"Are you going to _fight_ me, Lightning? Sure, you may have l'Cie power, but do you really think you're up to taking me on? Judging from how you dealt with that monster outside of your home today, I really don't think attacking me is that great of an idea. But if you want me to present your corpse to your sister, I haven't a problem with that."

Lightning didn't even bother to answer him. Her left hand crackling with electricity, she found herself holding her omega weapon with both hands. A brief smile touched her lips; she'd forgotten she could imbue her weapon with magic as well. She dodged the first strike that was aimed for her head - it caught a few strands of her pink hair, but now his weapon was rammed deep in the stone and that was going to give her a chance to retaliate.

The swipe of her own gunblade missed by a few inches - he'd wrenched his weapon out of the wall and spun away. Pausing for a moment to cast the Watera, she dived after it, readying the Aquastrike. The giant bubble of water missed him, but he'd lost his balance because of the water burst and her Aquastrike caught him in the shoulder. Black smoke hissed from the wound, and he stared at it, mildly amused...a_lmost as if he's surprised I've hit him._

Instantly, she readied her left hand for a Thundara. _Who cares if I blow a hole in the Corps building now?_ The man smiled as he saw what she was doing, he swerved to the left as her spell hit the ground. Keeping up with him, she back flipped as he thrust his weapon at her again. Shooting several bullets, she saw them bury themselves into the wall as they missed. _Damn... he's fast._

His Fira spell was much more potent than hers. Granted, she had never really been much to cast that much magic, but the intensity of the spell unnerved her a bit. As it grazed her face, she considered for the moment the possibility that she could lose this fight. _No...I have to win this...for Serah and Hope. _Quickly, she muttered a cure spell, cursing when her face still stung, even after being wiped by the spell. _Hope and Vanille were always the ones who were good at this healing mumbo-jumbo._

The second blow came hard on her abdomen - he'd taken the moment she'd spared to cast her Cure spell to hit her with the butt of his weapon. She landed on the floor, trying to catch her breath. He was standing above her, his blade poised to come down on her head.

_Fuck. I can't die here...I can't. Not like this, not when..._

And that was when her brand seared with pain, simultaneously as rose petals began to drift through the air.

* * *

><p><strong>Haha, I cut it off there even though I'm sure 99% of you know what's gonna happen next heehee. And it looks like said creep knows exactly how to get to Lightning, so I wonder how he's gonna play power that over her. Feel free to speculate!<br>**

**This chapter is on the short side (barely grazing 3.5K words) but it was meant to be one of the two transition chapters into the next arc (the next chapter will form the second half to it) so, oh well. But there was l'Cie Lightning in action in this chapter for all of those who have been waiting for it! I wanted to squeeze _Army of One_ in there somewhere (cause let's face it, that's like her most badass move ever) but I didn't think it would fit. Oh well, I'm sure I'll find a fit for that move soon enough.  
><strong>

**Leave love as always in reviews, and I'll see you guys tomorrow! 8D**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	15. Because You Are Here

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! o3o**

**Big thank yous to my reviewers, OscarMerrinoz96 and ziel101! 8D**

**Nothing much to say this time - this is the second of the two transition chapters into the next arc. Enjoy as always!**

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><p><span>Chapter 15: Because You Are Here<span>

Lightning held back a screech as the flare of pain exploded from her brand. A rose petal brushed her cheek as the pungent smell filled the room. _Odin...?_

The summon circle appeared beneath her feet as the man leapt backwards in shock and suddenly everything was tinged in pink. _Odin, you really know when I need you, don't you?_ The knight was suddenly there, standing regally impassive. Lightning spared one glance at her Eidolon, and she let a small smile appear on her lips.

_"Cut us a path!"_

She felt the pain from the Fira disappear as Odin cast a curative spell on her, and taking that, she launched herself forward again, her omega weapon raised to attack position. The man let out a small laugh as their blades collided.

"Awoken your Eidolon, I see. You really are something else, aren't you?"

"Save it," she hissed, dodging the swipe that he aimed at her forehead. She back flipped over Odin's defensive stance, and watched as his spells bounced uselessly off of Ullr's Shield. _Alright, Odin, let's show this creep what we can do._ The Eidolon seemed to have heard her thoughts as it glowed to transform into Sleipnir, the mythical horse. She leapt onto his back, splitting the scythe blade between both hands.

_"The storm is here!"_

The man narrowed his eyes the moment he saw her on her Eidolon, holding its weapon. A glowing teleport rune appeared underneath his feet, and Lightning saw the undeniably ugly look in his eyes. She caught the last words he hissed at her before he disappeared in the glow of light.

"Don't think you're getting out of this so easily, Lightning. Remember... there are other people who are _just_ as viable as you for our needs."

As the man vanished, she felt her Eidolon disappear as well - the pink rose shaped crystal dropped into her open hand. She held it to her brand as it dissipated into pink sparkles - she felt the power surge into her as the Eidolon's power melded back to her brand.

Dropping to one knee, Lightning paused to catch her breath, but thoughts of Serah and Hope drove her to her feet after only a few moments. _I have... to get back..._

"Sis! The monsters, they're gone!" Snow. He burst into the room, stopping short at the sight behind her. "Sis..."

Lightning strode past him. "Snow... one of those creeps did this. We have to get home." She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Wait... Sis!"

She didn't even turn around. "They're after Serah and Hope. Are you going to let them get their hands on them?" Lightning took the steps two at a time, ignoring the sights around her. _It's too late for them... But it's not too late for Serah and Hope.__ I have to get home on time... Serah..._

* * *

><p>Snow limped his way after Lightning, his twisted ankle slowing him down. He'd seen the corpses of her comrades, seen the death the monsters would bring. <em>Fuck... just what are we dealing with here?<em> The soldier had sped up ahead, not bothering to stop and explain to him what she'd just found out. _But if Sis says Serah's in danger, then I believe her._

But he couldn't ignore death as easily as she could. The moans, the dying... everything crowded into his brain, and try as he might to imitate the stoic soldier who was ahead of him, he couldn't. He'd always wanted to protect people, and couldn't, just couldn't ignore death like the way she's probably been trained. Snow couldn't push the scenes out of his mind, and every time he saw someone else who was injured, it just reminded him of the fateful day in the Hanging Edge.

_Shit... NORA was supposed to be about protecting people, and here I am ignoring people who may have a chance because..._

"Because of Serah." Lightning, and she didn't sound happy he was lagging. Clearly, he'd been speaking his thoughts out loud again and she'd heard. He let out an inward sigh... _She just doesn't miss anything, does she?_ Catching up to her, Snow caught the look on her face - the same grim determination he'd always seen on her during...

Reaching the hill that led to their house, he heard her let out a huff of fatigue, pausing to look up at the moon. It looked so peaceful here - so different from the city centre that Snow hardly believed it was the same town they were looking at. Crumbling dirt that landed on the shoulders of his coat reminded him that it was not the time to be distracted, and he scrambled up the small hillside after her.

"No!" Her loud cry from up ahead chilled him to the bone. He heard her break into a run, and he increased his stride until his fingers gripped the tough grasses that grew at the cliff's edge. Hauling himself up none too gracefully, Snow peeked his head over the rocks that blocked his view. There was a strange yellow glow in the window that he was sure was unnatural, and he saw Lightning kick the door open, weapon already drawn.

_They couldn't have... That can't be them... How could they have gotten here so fast? Lightning mentioned they were after Serah... NO!_

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><p>Desperation.<p>

That was the only thing that drove her onwards as she'd raced through the streets of New Bodhum. She _needed _to get to Serah and Hope, she _needed_ to protect them. And it didn't matter - didn't matter if she was going to get hurt, didn't matter if... _They just need to be okay._ _I promised..._

The door opened without resistance, and for a moment, Lightning thought that she had overreacted. And then she saw it.

Serah... and the man she'd just fought. Hope was nowhere to be seen. The growl escaped her lips before she could control it - she knew aggressiveness was only going to make him angry, and he was far closer to Serah than she was - she wouldn't have a chance to reach her first.

"Leave my sister alone."

The cruel laugh ripped through the air and she felt Snow stop behind her.

"And why would I do that, Lightning? You refused to cooperate so I need another little puppet. And your sister also conveniently happened to be a l'Cie, so... Hm?" The smile was so infuriating, Lightning wanted to rush forward and slap it off his face. She took a breath - losing it wasn't going to help. Her fingers tightened around her omega weapon, but that wasn't going to help. He'd reach Serah before she'd even have time to cast a spell.

She felt Snow trembling in what she assumed was anger behind her, and she quickly pressed her boot down on his foot. _Don't lose it, don't lose it, please don't lose it..._

"Claire... Snow..." Serah. Lightning hated herself for how scared she sounded, for the evident pain she heard in her sister's voice. Serah was holding her arms to her side, like she was cold, but Lightning knew it wasn't that. _Goddamn... and I promised myself I'd never put you in a situation like this again. I promised Mom I'd look after you... _

"What... do you want?" she hissed quietly. "Are you going to just stand there taunting me, or what...?"

"Oh, no, my dear Lightning. I want your sister to _watch_ you be unable to help her. I want you and that husband of hers to _squirm_ like we did when you stormed Oerba Ruins."

_What...? So he's doing all of this... out of that sort of revenge?_

He raised his hand to aim a Fira at her, and Lightning rolled forwards, pushing against the ground with her left hand as she felt the fireball graze over her head. She trusted that Snow had the sense to dodge such an obvious spell, and the moment her left hand was free she cast an Aero. Not at him, but hopefully the spell would be enough to drive him to more of a distance from Serah.

She skidded over the floor the moment he moved to dodge the spell, and to her eternal relief, she could put herself in front of Serah, blocking her with her free arm. But the man was still smiling at her, the cat eyes mocking her. The teleport circle appeared the heartbeat after she realized her mistake.

Grabbing Serah's arm, she tried to drag away her sister before the man teleported, but she wasn't fast enough. A Firaga caught her arm and she let go of Serah with a hoarse cry of pain. But the man hadn't anticipated Snow, who barreled towards him, fists curled. Landing on the ground, Lightning felt the big man's thumps as he charged towards the man. A shriek from Serah told her that she'd been let go of; pushing herself off the ground, Lightning ignored the pain in her arm for the moment being, and pulled her sister to her again, this time keeping her grip on her arm. The flash of yellow told her the man had disappeared once again.

Tensing her muscles, Lightning waited for him to reappear - but he didn't. She let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding until the entire house had been silent for a few minutes.

"Sis... I think he's gone." Snow's voice was apprehensive. He moved towards her, but she didn't feel like letting go of Serah.

"Serah... where's Hope?" She watched her little sister shake her head, blue eyes still scared.

"He went outside to deal with some monsters that appeared... and then the man came in and asked for you... When he saw you weren't here... Claire, I..." Lightning felt the arms of her sister wrap around her neck, grazing the burn on her arm. _Right... I need to deal with that sooner or later._ The patio door closed as Snow stomped outside.

She gently laid a hand on Serah's cheek.

"Serah... I would _never_ forget about you... okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" _Please tell me you're alright, please tell me..._

"I'm fine... Claire, you should be worrying about Hope, not me..." She felt Serah let go of her. And it was that moment that Snow led the way back in, a tired and battered looking Hope trailing after him.

_Oh Maker, please, no..._

She saw Hope glance at her, his green eyes wary. "Light... I'm okay. But your arm-" She saw his green eyes trail down the burn on her left arm. _Why are they all so concerned about me? I haven't been attacked, I haven't...  
><em>

The cure spell she murmured wiped away the pain, and left the skin there a soft baby skin pink. Not the best result, but better than nothing. She saw Serah's eyes widen.

"What?" she muttered, moving to sit on the armrest of the couch, flicking her somewhat singed cape behind her.

"Nothing... Claire, it's just... I haven't gotten used to you using magic yet."

Lightning snorted. "Well, it's not something special... Everyone here could use it at some point." She felt the couch sink several inches as Snow lowered himself onto it, stretching and yawning.

"Well, we're in deep trouble now... Sis, you wanna tell us what you heard before you ran like some madwoman home?"

She glared at him, feeling the familiar pricklings of irritation at Snow's attitude. She didn't feel like Serah and Hope needed to know... but she could no longer deny that this was something to ignore. _Even if... I don't want to _'_save the world' again, I can't deny that these people are after me. And if they were _only_ after me, maybe I could __handle that. But they're after every one of us... and they don't care who they use. That note... that very first note that began all of this - that possibility still exists. Just because my l'Cie powers are 'needed' doesn't mean they can't put us all back into crystal stasis. I... _We_ still have to find the fal'Cie that was responsible for all this..._

_Except can I really ask Serah to come along? She's never - _

"Light? Are you okay?" She realized she'd been lost in her thoughts again, and Hope and Serah were looking at her worriedly. Lightning rubbed her temples, groaning inwardly at just how much she'd have to tell them, and wondering just how much Serah would be able to take.

_I really hope... we'll be okay._

* * *

><p>Serah curled next to Snow on their bed - he was already asleep, but she couldn't wrap her head around... <em>Any of this.<em> _I can't..._ Snow had taken it easily, even laughing that they were "off to save the world" again, and Hope, well, she knew Hope would follow Claire anywhere. _Am I the only one that feels... overwhelmed by all of this?__ I don't know if I'm ready... and what if I'm just a burden on everybody?_

She lay tossing and turning for what felt like hours, trying not to disturb Snow, but not knowing what else she could do. The moonlight that played in the corner of the room not covered by the curtains didn't seem to change, and her eyes didn't feel heavy.

_This is pointless... trying to sleep._ Slowly easing the covers off of her, she opened the door and peered out into the dark hallway. Without being aware of it, Serah realized she was opening the door to her sister's room.

"Serah? What are you still doing up?" Lightning was still at her desk in the darkness. Serah could see the omega weapon out on the table, but her sister wasn't using or polishing it - her knuckles were white, and Serah realized just how tightly Lightning was holding onto her weapon.

She let herself smile a little. "Well, you're still up too, Claire..."

Her sister scowled at her, but then sighed, her expression relaxing. She crossed her arms over her chest as she leaned back, evidently waiting for Serah to say something.

"Claire... I'm scared," she began, unsure of how to even begin to express the tumultuous feelings inside her. "I-I don't know if I can do this..."

Lightning's turquoise eyes were fixated on something past her shoulder, and it was easy for her to catch the fleeting guilt in them.

"No, Claire! Don't even go there... it hasn't got anything to do with you. I just... What if I just slow everyone down?"

"You won't." Her sister's voice was harsh and Serah knew that in this moment, Lightning was _Lightning_ and not the Claire she needed. "Serah... like you said, we all care about you too. I'm _not_ leaving you behind this time. And this time... _no one _will hurt you. Got it?"

"Claire... but..." Her voice sounded weak next to the grim, determined harshness in her sister's voice. _She's so bent on protecting me... but when does she ever think of herself? Hope told me... she was ready to take on the whole world to save me last time... And I _can't_ let her do that this time. This time, I'll actually do__ something to __help. _

_Claire, I don't care if you've got your own personal agenda for this... because that's _my_ promise._

* * *

><p>The early morning light peeked through the clouds as Lightning looked up. Remembering the conversation with Sazh the night before, she really wondered if Serah was up to this...<p>

_"You sure about all this, soldier girl? Not playing some trick on me, right?" __She'd let out an irritated sigh._

_"Sazh, when I want to play the court jester, I'll let you know, okay?" __She heard him laugh, and then his tone grew more serious._

_"Listen, Lightning. I know what you're saying, and I know the risks of not going to take them out. But I can't bring Dajh, and I sure can't as hell leave him behind. And _I'll_ deal with those consequences, mark my words. __You kids worry bout yourselves, aight? I'll be sure you let you know somehow if I find something else out."_

_She paused, her hand tightening on her cell phone. "You sure?"_

_He laughed again. "You just worry bout that little sister of yours and Hope, and leave my worrying to me." He'd hung up then, but her hand didn't relax on the phone. _

"Claire?" Serah, and she'd interrupted her thoughts again.

"What, Serah?" She hoped her voice didn't sound too irritated - Serah always looked guilty when something she said made her angry.

"Time to go, Sis?" Today we find those creeps and take them out for good." Snow. She huffed angrily, and pointedly stalked away in front of him, setting off from the back of their house. It wasn't the most direct way to Oerba Ruins, the place where they decided to start looking, but it would avoid most of the populace living in New Bodhum, and the sheer cliff face that led up.

Lightning heard Snow laugh as he linked his hand with Serah's. _Really?_ She felt Hope tag alongside her, settling into the usual positions they'd travelled in.

"Hey, Light?" For some reason, Hope never irritated her in the same way Snow did. She knew both Serah and Snow attributed it to what they called her 'soft spot' for him, but she didn't think so.

_Maybe it's because, with you, I want to avoid all the mistakes I made with Serah._

She looked behind her at the brightening edge of the horizon and the pink tinge that was beginning to colour Cocoon's crystal.

_Fang... Vanille... Please tell me I'm doing the right thing._

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><p><strong>So yes, our journey begins, wheee~<br>I'm beginning to think this is starting to resemble an RPG game (think about it... haha!) but OH WELL. I promise more action and awesomeness ahead. **

**This chapter was a little dull for me to write, admittedly, but it had to be done. (Again this chapter is on the short side of just over 3.3K words) For some reason I think Light's reason for going out to save the world is a little... eh, but hopefully it makes sense... After all, Serah means practically her entire life to her. n_n**

**Anyways, a little info on pretty much ALL further chapters:**

**I found it pretty much _impossible_ for everyone to explore _all_ of Gran Pulse in the span of the game. I mean, think about it - they were on Gran Pulse for what... a week? Two? And if you think of Gran Pulse as our "world", Cocoon's really just a small little thing hanging above it. So I will and have taken the liberty to include many, many NPC's (gosh this is really becoming an RPG game) and new places in Pulse. _Anyways..._ yeah, so be prepared. n_n **

**This fic is just as its beginning yet, though, lots of erm, action and tear wrenching chapters ahead (well, at least I hope so - I want to keep the emotional content of this fic going) so we have a _long_ way to go. And I'll spoil just one thing - obviously Light is not gonna be the only l'Cie, so... well, expect some more in action later.*rubs hands together*  
><strong>

**(Man, that A/N was long...)**

**Leave love as always in reviews, and I'll see you guys tomorrow!**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	16. Eternal Smiles

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3**

**A big thank you to my reviewers, OscarMerrinoz96 and GCFarron, you guys are awesome. 8D**

**And also an extended thank you to everyone - NR hit the 1000 visitor mark sometime yesterday afternoon, and I really appreciate all the love you give this fic! It warms the cockles of my little heart to know that you guys care. o3o**

**So not a lot to say this time - in my opinion this chapter was more interesting to write than the last one, hopefully you guys feel the same way as you're reading it. Enjoy as always!**

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><p><span>Chapter 16: Eternal Smiles<span>

Grass crunched under Hope's shoes as he tagged after Lightning. They'd been walking for a good few hours now, and he could already see the faint sparkles of crystal dust in the spring sunlight in the distance.

"We're close now," he heard her murmur quietly. "Stay on guard - there could be monsters around."

He nodded, catching up to her quick stride. Snow and Serah were a ways off behind them, and that worried him a little. Serah couldn't fight - that much was painfully obvious, and while he had some confidence in Snow's abilities...

"Hey, Light?" He saw her turn her head slightly to show that she'd heard. "D'you think we should, um, wait for Snow and Serah?" She let out a snort.

"No, the 'hero' can take care of himself. And since he's so insisting on protecting Serah too, well, I can't really ruin that, can I?" _That's just your way of saying you want them to spend time together... isn't it?_

He rested his head against her shoulder - he felt her flinch at the contact, but she sighed, and allowed it. "Light?"

"Mmmhmm?"

"Are you... well, scared of what's going to come?" He hoped she wouldn't get angry at him for asking such a personal question. She moved away from the contact and turned around to face him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Huh. I really can't say. On one hand, I really wouldn't mind kicking the crap outta those creeps, and on the other..." She paused, and a hesitant look entered her eyes, and her voice dropped significantly in volume. "I don't want to see what happened to me happen to you or Serah. Ever."

"Light..."

"Come on, we're wasting time." She turned to go, her right hand resting on her weapon. But Hope had seen the look in her eyes the moment she mentioned Serah and him. Pain. Fear. _ Light..._

* * *

><p>Her boot crunched a shard of cement in the setting sunlight. Kicking it aside, Lightning strode into the ruins of Oerba. She didn't want to look at the gaping hole that still existed - just the thought of the place made her want to crouch and hold her head between her hands. Frustrated, she turned her attention to watching Snow and Serah clamber up the last stones leading up to the town. <em>This freaking place is messing with my head.<em>

"So, Sis, see anything?" Snow had come to stand beside her. She resisted the urge to elbow him.

"No more than you do." Her voice shook a little, but she didn't want to let Snow know how much the place unnerved her. She sensed him look at her oddly, but she wasn't going to give in to his probing so easily. She tightened her hand on her omega weapon, hoping that it would conceal the slight shaking of her fingers.

"Alright, so, guess we're camping here for the night, then." Snow flung himself on the rocky cement ground as Serah giggled. Lightning rolled her eyes.

"Snow, there are perfectly good homes that weren't demolished somewhat. I don't see why we have to sleep on the ground," she snapped at him. Snow turned hurt looking eyes on her, clearly not expecting the reprimand. Huffing, she turned away to look for a viable place to sleep.

"Awh, Sis, don't be like that..." She heard his whine fade away as she crunched through the dust. Most of the houses in this area of Oerba had been crumbled, but she could see some in the further parts of town that were more than suitable. Serah's bell chime giggle sounded after her as she and Hope ran after her.

_At this rate we'll be up all night._

* * *

><p>Serah snuggled up against Snow, wrapped in his big coat. Her head was on his shoulder, and he was absentmindedly stroking her pink head with a big hand. Lightning was pointedly not looking at them, staring outside the cracked window at the darkening skies. She felt Snow open his mouth, and then closed it, obviously thinking better of it.<p>

Hope had settled himself in a corner, and he exchanged a glance with Serah - she could see her own amusement mirrored in his eyes. Claire was so uptight and modest about everything... _Snow didn't even know she had a navel piercing until we told him, and she always makes a point of looking away or walking to a different room when I'm with him. She's so modest about everything that I wonder, well, if she's ever going to fall for someone. Because anybody who knows her... even a little, would know that she would just claim she's 'not interested'. _

_But Claire... you need to live your own life too._

"So." It was Snow, who was trying again in his attempt to talk while Lightning was very obviously not looking their way. Serah just snuggled closer to him; Claire could think what she wanted to think. _She _wasn't the one married to Snow.

"So what?" she snapped back. Serah saw her fingers drumming impatiently on the worn, rusted steel of the windowsill. She could feel Snow tense at her sister's irritated tone, but the big man ploughed fearlessly on anyways.

"Tomorrow we're investigating the Oerba Ruins, right? What's left of them anyways?" Snow's voice was a little more pacifying, like he was trying... very very hard not to make Lightning more irritated than she was. Serah saw the involuntary shudder pass through her sister's body, and the way she tightened her hand on her weapon.

"Yeah...okay." Claire's voice had lost its harshness, replaced by what Serah could only guess as guarded conviction. But she hadn't been the only one who'd noticed. Hope had, too.

"Light... you okay?" His voice held the tint of concern that Snow's voice didn't - clearly Snow hadn't noticed anything odd because he was glancing back and forth between her and Hope, evidently confused as to why they were giving each other worried looks.

"Yeah... I'm fine." _It's just like Claire not to admit that something's wrong._ But before Serah could reprimand her sister for keeping her emotions bottled up inside her, Hope had already spoken.

"No, you're not. Light, you haven't looked alright since we got here. I think we all know something's wrong... and now that we're travelling again, you have to tell us." His voice was firm, and Serah saw Lightning glance back once, her expression filled with guilt, pain... and she was surprised to see, _uncertainty._ Like she was _scared_ to tell them she was feeling.

"Claire... Hope's right, you know..." Her voice trailed off when Lightning snapped her head back to the window again.

"I don't... want to worry you about it, okay? Just forget it." Her voice was still snappish, but this time Serah could tell she was fighting to keep it that way. _I think I know what's wrong... but Claire, you just don't want to admit it. _Suddenly, Serah was unsure if she _wanted_ Claire to admit it - it hadn't been a happy experience, and there was obviously something deeper involved in it that Lightning had clearly conveniently left out.

"Sis... if you don't wanna tell us you don't have to. But I know all of us are willing to listen if you do want to talk... even though I know you say you can't stand me." _Snow... I know you try really hard to care about Claire, and I know she doesn't take you as seriously as she does the rest of us, but she _does_ care... in her own way._ She leaned against his warmth, feeling comforted when Snow wrapped an arm around her slim waist.

"Thanks." Her sister's quiet mutter was almost too quiet for Serah to hear - but it was there. And her heart warmed to think that Claire knew that they cared - because they did. _See? Opening up to us... isn't so bad, is it, Claire?_

* * *

><p>The descent into the ruins was harder than she'd thought. Every single step painfully reminded Lightning of the last time she'd been here, the last time she'd gone down the steps. Everyone expected her to take the lead, and so she had, wearily accepting the leadership role pushed onto her. It wasn't that she was scared of monsters or enemies that still could very well lurk the place - those she could deal with. What she was scared she <em>couldn't<em> deal with were the memories that were crowding her consciousness at this very moment.

_All I have to do is to think about that fucking rune... and then everything comes rushing back. The pain, the despair, the desperation... Shit. This place has really messed with my head. _

She pulled out her omega weapon - Lightning knew she didn't need it - but it made her feel better, even though what was tormenting her at the moment couldn't be physically damaged or dispelled. Her footsteps echoed ominously on the stone floor - it was too freaking quiet in here, even with the dim lights that were still flickering and the heavy stone dust that had settled.

"Light... any idea where they kept their information?" Hope's quiet voice sounded behind her somewhere. She resisted the urge to snap back - how the hell was she supposed to know where they kept their stuff? _It's not like I was allowed to wander around._ But he didn't need to hear her lose it over such a simple question - she shook her head, hoping he could see it in the gloom.

_A simple question that's brought on way too many memories. _

She heard Snow crack his knuckles. "Alright then! Time to get searching." Before she could stop him, Snow barreled past her with Serah tagging along at his heels, as he started kicking in doors that lined the circular looking halls. Exchanging a dubious and exasperated look with Hope, she followed him.

The first doors that had been kicked in didn't offer them anything in terms of information, but contained plenty of useful things otherwise. Lightning bent down to examine several glinting claws in the dim light. _What the hell..._ She picked one up, closely looking at it - the edges were serrated, and she knew she didn't want to face whatever monster these had belonged to... Except why didn't they still belong to a monster? Why were they...

The realization hit her the moment she thought about it. _Those monsters... all came from some sort of summon portal. So that means they... created them? _She felt sick - the urge to puke was definitely there. _So they __took apart __monsters and put them back together like some jigsaw puzzle? That's... _

Throwing the claws away from her, Lightning backed away slowly from the other contents in the room. She really didn't want to know.

"Sis? Anything useful in there?" Snow was calling from where he was searching in a different room across the dark hallway. She carefully closed the door behind her as she left her room - no need for Serah to see that.

"Nope." She felt a tug on her arm, and looked down to see Hope's wide eyes. "What?"

"Light... I think you need to come see this." There was a scared, apprehensive look in his eyes and she stalked lightly after him into the room he'd been looking in.

In the room, there were shelves upon shelves of paper. Some were in the ancient Pulsian script, which she couldn't read, but the others were legible... barely. There were several scattered around on the floor - evidently Hope had been looking through those. She picked one up, quickly scanning the page.

A few words told her all she needed to know.

"Hope. Get the rest that you've found off the floor and get Serah and Snow in here," she hissed quietly.

"Okay." She heard his reply, but most of her attention was fixed on the piece of paper before her. Reading quickly, she felt her fingers beginning to tighten around the thin page; her hand was starting to shake. _Urgh, you're supposed to be a soldier. Get a grip._ Berating herself quickly, Lightning forced herself to take a deep breath and continue.

The page crumpled between her fingers as Serah and Snow burst into the room behind Hope.

"What did you guys find?" Wordlessly, Lightning held out the now scrunched piece of paper. Snow snatched it from her hand, face growing longer with every line.

"Are you serious?" His voice was a deadly whisper. While Snow was staring at the wall just beyond her shoulder, Serah snatched the piece of paper out of his big hand.

"Spread out, we're combing this place for any information we can get." She was glad her voice came out the way she needed it to. Moving over to another shelf, she was glad that her back faced everyone else. Snow hadn't gotten the implications of the piece of paper. But she had... and it ate at her completely to know that it was true.

_I'm an easy target... because I'm vulnerable. I'm vulnerable because I know I have to protect the people I love. And when they're as defenceless and innocent as Serah..._

* * *

><p>Serah shifted through her pile of paper - it wasn't easy because some of the writing was illegible... at least to her. But she'd found some important things... hopefully it would be enough information. She'd seen the look on her sister's face when she'd held out the piece of paper. <em>Oh Claire... I already know if must be hard for you to be back... and now...<em>

A thump on the table made her look up as Snow dropped a pile of paper on the small desk in the middle of the room.

"So, let's share," he announced. It was automatic for Serah to go over to him, and she felt his arm drape over her shoulders."Sis? Find anything?"

Lightning stalked over to the table, and slammed a map flat on its surface. "This." There was a moment of silence as everyone leaned over to see what was on it before Snow let out a yell of victory.

"Yes! Sis, you have no idea how much easier you made things." Lightning raised her eyebrows at Snow, but didn't make a comment. Leaning against the table, Serah watched her sister rest a hand on her hip, the other fingering her weapon.

"Alright, so now that Sis has found the map, it'll make explaining things I found much easier." Snow's smug voice and expression made her giggle, and she saw Hope shake his head, exchanging an exasperated look with Lightning. Snow pretended not to have seen them, and shuffled through his pile of paper, squinting at one of them as he picked it up.

"So. The Farseer Tribe of Gran Pulse. Oerba wasn't the only village of l'Cie, but it was the only warrior village. It was the only village that dared start the War of Transgression with Cocoon, while the other tribes on Gran Pulse chose to stay out of it. The Farseer Tribe was the most prominent of these, living past the Everleece Mountains... Glad Sis found a map."

"Interesting history lesson, Snow, get to the point, okay?" Lightning's irritated voice cut through Snow's bumbling.

"All right, all right, keep your hair on, Sis, I'm getting there. Okay, so, you know the Eclipse those creeps told you about? Well, it's got something to do with the Farseer Tribe, because their l'Cie apparently have the power to see the future. It doesn't sound like they can use magic or anything - unlike our definition of l'Cie. But the main point is, Farseer Tribe l'Cie can see the future, and sense those crystals the creeps were after. That's probably why they were after you, Sis."

"Nice story... except _I can't_ see the future, can I?" Lightning did not sound impressed, but one look at her sister and Serah knew that at least some of the frustration had vanished off her sister's expression.

"I think... I can explain why." Hope piped up from the corner of the table where he was perched, holding several pieces of paper in his hand. "We only knew of two types of fal'Cie - Cocoon and Pulse. However, there were more types of fal'Cie on Pulse than just the ones we encountered, because Gran Pulse is so big. Like Snow said, there are different types of fal'Cie - Anima just happened to be a "warrior fal'Cie". But the Farseer tribe that was mentioned, they're under a different type of fal'Cie, but I can't really read the name... Either way, their l'Cie have different powers." Serah saw her sister put her hand where her brand was, slim gloved fingers tightening around the white cloth of her vest.

"Anyways," continued Hope. "Light, I don't think they knew what kind of fal'Cie branded you... us. Either that or they weren't sure of the difference, because you _can't_ see the future."

Serah opened her mouth. "I've got a question... The Eclipse they keep mentioning? If it happens every hundred years, why didn't it affect Cocoon?"

"I found the answer." Snow's voice was smug again. "The Cocoon fal'Cie protected Cocoon, and because Cocoon was a floating paradise, nothing that happened on the ground affected it. But that's probably why Gran Pulse was deserted when we first reached it - after the Oerba Tribe was annihilated in the War of Transgression, no one was left to counter the horrors introduced by the Eclipse." His hand tightened around her shoulder when he said it, like he was trying to protect her from it now.

"But that doesn't mean there can't be anything left. I say we go and see if we can find this Farseer Tribe - looking at the map Light found the Everleece Mountains don't look that far away." Hope's voice was steady, and Serah could see the determination in his eyes. _He's really a little mature for his age... isn't he?_

Snow moved over to ruffle the teenager's head. "I like your plan, kiddo." Hope laughed a little, squirming out of reach of the man's hand.

"Light?" Strangely, her sister hadn't said a word since Hope had talked about the fal'Cie. She turned her head back to them, and shrugged.

"I don't see why not." Her voice was crisp again, the tone of the soldier she'd put on every time she went to work.

"Excellent." Snow rubbed his hands together, clearly anticipating the moment. "Let's gather up what we think is useful and let's get outta here."

"Not so fast, hero. Ever consider that we need food as well?" Lightning looked critically at Snow, contempt clear in her eyes.

"Uhhh, yeah, forgot about that," he mumbled sheepishly, trying to avoid her gaze. Lightning let out a huff as she passed him, Hope tagging along behind her.

"Looks like the heroes still need help occasionally."

_Oh Claire... I know you pretend you can't stand him, but I also know that you can't really express yourself either._

* * *

><p>Lugging the food they'd found lying around in one of the supply rooms, Snow pushed the bandanna on his head up his sweaty forehead. It was getting close to noon now, and they were preparing to leave soon. Lightning had shot daggers at him when she saw him lug a jug of water up the stairs outside to Oerba. She'd brushed past him, fingers playing over the other little jars until she found the one she wanted.<p>

"Drop that, Snow. Who's going to carry it, you?" Her tart voice reminded him she was still a soldier at heart.

He'd scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Well, don't we need water, Sis?" She shot him an exasperated look.

"Yes, we do. But not like that. Honestly... you'd never survive a real war." _Ouch._ She held up the three small glass bottles she'd found inches from his face. "All we'll need is this for water."

"Uhh, Sis? Mind telling me... what those are? Those don't look like they'd be a mouthful for anyone." He hoped he didn't sound as stupid as he felt right now, with Lightning's icy blue eyes glaring at him.

"That's because they're not for drinking, hero. It's iodine. You put drops in stream water, river water, whatever, and it purifies it, so you don't have to lug water around with you." The expression in her eyes all but screamed _duh_ at him. "They're a lot lighter, no?" She stuffed the three bottles in her red pack on her thigh, and then turned to go.

He caught her smirk as she walked past him. Feeling inferior now, Snow followed her up the last stone steps and out into the sunlight. _At least she looks better than she did this morning. If she's got the energy to insult me, then well, I guess that's a good thing._

Serah was busy stuffing the small cans of food in a backpack she'd found, and Snow went over to her. "Need help, baby?" He loved it when she smiled back at his tone of voice. It made her look like the princess... well, _his _princess.

She let out a soft giggle. "No, I'm fine, Snow. Why don't you go ask Claire if she needs help?" He laughed, patting the back of his head.

"Well, she just chewed me out for not knowing what iodine did, so... I'd rather not." He heard her giggle again as her fingers found his.

"Oh Snow, you know what Claire's like. She'll forget about it in awhile."

"You always say that," he murmured quietly in her hair. "I don't think so though." She giggled again, and turned her face to his for a kiss.

* * *

><p><em>Urgh. Seriously, Serah and Snow... <em>Lightning turned away from her sister and her oaf; whatever they were doing now, she didn't want to know. Settling herself on a warm slab of concrete, she glanced under her eyelids at the entrance to the ruins again... luckily she hadn't lost it this morning in there.

There was also what Snow and Hope had found out about her... _So, they were wrong about me to begin_ _with. Huh, figures. Still..._ Her hand closed over her brand. _But this... I know Odin is there, and wouldn't that better prepare me to protect Serah and Hope? _

She heard Snow calling her from the distance. Getting off the stone, she started in their direction. Hope and Serah were chatting animatedly, while Snow was picking up the large pack of stuff, and putting it over his back. Their faces looked expectant, almost _happy._ It was that she couldn't understand the sentiment - for the time being, they were safe, they had an objective... and she also knew how quickly resolve was lost in a moment of desperation and despair - she'd seen it happen too many times in battle.

_Maker... give me the strength to protect them... __because I never want to see them lose those smiles. _

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><p><strong>So yeah, a big history lesson for y'all in the middle of that chapter. Hopefully it was comprehensive enough for you guys; I had Snow explain it for a reason. xD<strong> **So we're getting into some fal'Cie situations now... and the question of _who_ saved Lightning & co at the end of XIII will be revealed soon. Stay tuned! :3**

**Also, I changed the "character" thing to Light and Hope... because I realized this fic is going to go Hoperai, and uhhh... yeah. n_n You probably read it in Chapter 3, and I didn't have it originally planned for this fic, but I was working out some plot details with a friend the other day, and I realized it's gonna be inevitable. xD (And let's face it - their relationship ingame was so cute!) Their relationship hasn't been erm... "progressed" just yet, but as I stated last chapter, we have a long ways to go till the end of this story, but well, just letting y'all know this _is_ gonna go that way from now on.**

**One more thing. While this fic is rated M, it is rated M solely for dark content and language (and possibly violence). I'm alright with romance, but it won't go past fluff, so well, just letting you know. This applies for the SerahxSnow in this fic as well.  
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**Feed the review monster as always - things are about to get interesting. *rubs hands together* Leave love, and I'll see you all tomorrow, my lovelies!**

**Hearts!**


	17. Eyes of the Future

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! n_n**

**Once again, a huge thank you to my reviewers, GCFarron and OscarMerrinoz96! Seriously, you guys rock; reviewing pretty much every chapter of mine.**

**As I stated last chapter, this fic is actually going to turn out to be an eventual Hope/Light. I'm still working on their relationship as of yet (and wondering how to properly portray a relationship between a 21 year old and a 14 year old) but I'll figure it out. xD So there'll be more Light/Hope for all those who have been wanting to see some. Like I said though, this fic is not rated M for adult themes; I can't take romance past a heavy fluff.  
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**Anyways, enough of me blustering about that, I know you guys wanna know what happens next so, enjoy as always! (:**

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><p><span>Chapter 17: Eyes of the Future<span>

Night had begun to fall, and Lightning looked up at the gathering darkness that was beginning to be overtaken by the swath of stars above. When she looked behind her, Cocoon's crystal shell never looked further away. Someone poked her in the side, and she slapped the hand away angrily.

"Shall we rest for tonight?" Obviously it was Snow - he was the only one stupid enough to poke her like that. She shrugged, but then cast a look at Serah - she was looking tired.

"Fine with me." She watched Snow walk away to Serah; he carried her over the last few rocks and set her down on one. _He does care... doesn't he? _She let out a soft snort. _Sometimes I wonder what she sees in him. _Leaving her vantage point of a shrubbery free cliff, she walked back towards them. She saw that Hope had already gathered a small pile of wood, and she allowed herself a small smile. Hope was a good kid.

"Uh, Sis? Have we got any matches? It's getting cold." Lightning uncrossed her arms, and stalked over to Snow until she stood right in front of him. Sure, he was taller, but he was cringing back at her sudden glare.

"Snow, why would we need matches, when I have _this_?" She waved her left hand in front of him.

"Huh?" He looked confused for a moment, while Serah and Hope giggled somewhere behind her. "Oh! Right... You should have said so, Sis." Lightning let out an irritated snort.

"Sometimes I wonder how you forget, Snow." Waving her left hand carelessly behind her, she scowled at him. "Fire." The small bloom of flame instantly arose from the pile of wood. Lightning curled the fingers of her left hand together after the spell had left it - it felt normal to cast magic now. _Like it was always meant to be part of me. __Funny. I was so distrusting of all this spellcasting mumbo jumbo when I first got it. _

"Hey Claire?" Serah's inquisitive voice piped up behind her somewhere. Turning in her sister's direction, Lightning crossed her arms over her chest and waited.

"Can you really cast healing spells?" She let out an internal groan; truth be told, she wasn't - and would never be - good at casting the medic spells. Sure, she could, but... _Hope and Vanille were so much better. I never really got the hang of all that healing stuff.  
><em>

"If you count them not being really effective, then yes, I can." She heard Hope give a disbelieving snort as she said the words. "What?" she snapped in his direction, slightly irritated that he didn't believe her.

"Light, don't downplay it. You know you could... can." This time it was her turn to snort.

"_Right_, kid. Whatever. We all know that you were much better than me." She heard Snow laugh behind her. Ignoring him, Lightning walked to the cliff again, looking back at Cocoon. The crystal was now completely tinged in light blue - night had really fallen.

"Okay, before Sis rips our hair out for teasing her... we'd better work out the watch schedule for tonight." Snow again, and he sounded anxious to please her. Smirking slightly at the thought that he didn't want to make her angry, she turned around again. _Sometimes he knows more than I give him credit for._

"I'll take the first shift, if you guys want." She really didn't mind - it would give her time to think... _away_ from the prying eyes of her sister and friends.

"Okay, Sis, _wake me up_ this time, aight?" Lightning let out a small huff, clearly Snow hadn't forgotten the last time she was supposed to wake him up for watch and hadn't. She waited until he had settled with Serah and Hope was asleep by the still burning fire before she let out the sigh.

Looking up at Cocoon again, Lightning found herself holding her hands very tightly in her lap - she realized she was involuntarily trying to stop them from shaking. _Urgh, why..._ It only took a few moments of perusal through her current mental state to find the answer.

_Of course this was about Serah... when has it not been about Serah? _She cast a glance at her sleeping sister, comfortably wrapped in Snow's coat - she could barely see her beyond Snow's bulk. It wasn't that she didn't trust Snow to take care of her - she'd seen enough to know that he cared just as much as her, but...

_But I don't know if even he can protect her from what... _

As much as she didn't want to admit it, she knew that she hadn't been close to Serah in the last few years. And she knew that it was their growing distance that hadn't allowed Serah to confide in her, had allowed Serah to spend so much time with Snow. _But even then... I didn't protect her last time.__ And this time... it's not just about Serah. It's about Hope too. __I promised... They've seen too many ugly things they shouldn't have. Shit... why did I tell them?  
><em>

She knew it was too late for her, probably too late for Snow to be protected from all the things this world had to offer. _Fuck, what _haven't_ I seen or experienced? _But it wasn't too late for Serah, wasn't too late for Hope.

_They actually have a chance of living a normal life, a life that's actually...  
><em>

* * *

><p>Hope stared at the sun that was just beginning to rise underneath Cocoon's bottom shell - it reminded him of the morning they'd woken up from their brief crystal stasis underneath it... and the moment he'd realized Vanille and Fang were gone. <em>Ironic that we're now off to save the world again. <em>He cast a glance at Snow, who was still snoring, and Serah who was wrapped in his coat, her pink ponytail fluttering slightly in the light spring breeze.

Lightning hadn't bothered joining her sister near the now dying fire, instead, she'd picked a spot a ways off against a stone cliff. Hope could see her from where he was sitting on a rock - she actually looked peaceful when she was asleep. _Light, you just have too much on your mind all the time. You don't need to run around protecting us, feeling like it's your _duty_to take care of all of us, you know..._

He watched as the breeze played with the pink bangs that framed her heart shaped face and she moaned slightly, groggily raising a hand to shield her eyes from the sun that was now fully over the horizon. Her pale blue eyes blinked open, and Hope looked away quickly - he didn't want to get caught staring at her.

The crunch of her boots on the bracken and grass announced to him that she was approaching. He could sense that she was standing behind him, also looking at Cocoon.

"Hey." Her voice was quiet.

"Hey Light. You're up early." She let out a snort, knocking him in the forehead with her knuckles.

"If only it were actually early. Time to wake up the 'hero', no?" Not bothering to wait for his reply, she walked towards them - both of them were still asleep soundly. Hope let himself smile a little before following her - he saw her pause.

"Now... I'm wondering how to actually wake him up." Her voice held a little uncertainty - and Hope glanced at her, unsure if she was actually hesitating or was just trying to think of a way to annoy Snow.

"Well, you could poke him. Or you could send another Water at him." He saw her smirk, clearly she was remembering the last time she'd thrown a Water at her sister's husband.

"I'd cast the spell, except it would get Serah wet too..." Her voice trailed off as she edged her boot - hard - into Snow's side, and Hope had to hold back the laugh that bubbled up inside him. Snow had jumped at least a several inches into the air - quite a feat for a man of his calibre, as Serah was woken by the sudden movement. He looked hilarious - his blond hair messy with the bandanna crumpled up, and he was trying to wear a look of indignation while it was obvious that Lightning did not look happy - she'd crossed her arms over her chest again.

"Sis, what was that for?" he spluttered out, clearly not relishing the amused look on Hope's face.

"Look what time it is, you idiot. Did you plan to sleep all morning?" Turning away, Hope caught the surprised yet content look in Serah's eyes, and he knew what she was thinking. _Light rarely has the time for a joke, and this is her being outright playful. _Gathering up the pack that contained their food, he slung it over one shoulder before walking to Serah, who was still giggling - Snow was fruitlessly trying to block and evade Lightning's punches. Evidently, Snow had said something she hadn't liked.

"It's great to see Claire acting happier, huh?" Her light blue eyes still held the surprise, but were also full of fondness for the two people she was watching.

"Yup," he replied, watching them spar for a few more moments before going over to break them up. "It sure is."

* * *

><p>Snow looked up at the top of the mist shrouded mountain. Clearly he'd underestimated the time it would take them to walk the couple of inches shown on the map Lightning had found in Oerba Ruins - they'd been walking for days. Luckily, the Pulse monsters count was down, or it would have taken them even longer. Snow suppressed the sigh of relief at the thought that they might finally find some of the answers they were looking for at the top - according to the history papers they'd unearthed, the Farseer Tribe lived at the peak of the mountains.<p>

They'd walked so far from Cocoon that it was now hidden behind one of the mountain ranges, and there hadn't been any sign of civilization since - Pulse Management had favoured development in the opposite direction of Oerba; there were less mountains to string new rails and communications across.

And the vegetation was different - instead of the chaparral and other canyon flora that existed around Oerba, the wildlife was beginning to remind Snow of the Sunleth Waterscape, except it was less... leafy. The trees were straighter, and they had spiky leaves. His shoes brushed some pink plant he didn't know - the scent of the flowers was definitely pungent here.

The crunch of boots announced that Lightning, Hope and Serah were catching up to him. He'd promised to scout ahead... _Great, now Light's gonna get mad at me for not doing my job._ And sure enough...

"Snow, what are you doing standing there staring at a flower?" _Crap._ _I'd better think of a reasonable excuse before she chews my head off._ Quickly picking it, Snow held it out to Serah.

"Just wanted to see... how nicely it would look with Serah's hair," he stammered out awkwardly, shying away from Lightning's piercing gaze. He saw her roll her eyes, while Serah eagerly bounced forward to accept the flower. He put it in her hair, and instantly his heart warmed when she smiled at him.

"Thank you," she murmured quietly. Suddenly, a low growl from the bushes sounded ahead of them. Instantly, Lightning had drawn her omega weapon and Hope pulled out his boomerang. The look she shot him told him all he needed to know: he was in charge of protecting Serah.

Her blade sliced through one monster, and she aimed a spell at another with her other hand - Snow recognized the Blizzara. The sudden frigid blast of air from the spell buffeted them a little - he could feel its icy breath from where he was standing. He swung his fist at another monster that had burst out beside him - watching it vanish into black smoke, Snow scanned the bushes for more. A second gust of air hit his back - Lightning must have aimed an Aerora at something, and he could hear the boomerang as it cut through the air.

"Come on, let's move!" Lightning's shout came from somewhere up ahead; pushing Serah ahead of him, Snow followed the bright red flicker of the soldier's cape as she began to climb the steep mountainside. Clambering over several boulders, Snow heard and felt several monster bodies make an impact with the rough stone - they couldn't get past it, and only the Maker knew how long it would take them to figure out to try and jump over the rocks.

Fortunately, the rock surface was smoother than he'd thought - once they were over the initial barrier of boulders it was easier to climb. Snow saw Lightning slow down, casting a worried glance at Serah and Hope; though he was doing his best to push them up in front of them it was obvious that they didn't have Lightning's stamina.

The circular path that spiraled around the mountain began to flatten out the higher they climbed - and it was getting harder to breathe. A thin mist had begun to cling to the sides of the mountain now, and Snow heard Lightning stop.

"Let's take a break," she suggested. "You guys look like you need it anyways."

Snow settled himself on a jutting rock next to a clump of more flowers, and pulled Serah to him. She gratefully accepted his gesture, and settled herself on his knee.

"You okay, baby?" He felt her pink head bob - she was out of breath still and he could see the beads of sweat that darkened her pink hair.

"So." Lightning's tart voice made him look to her. "I think we'll reach the top by tonight, even with a slower pace. You have any suggestions about how we charge in there to ask questions?" She brushed perspiration darkened pink bangs behind one ear as she raked a hand through her hair.

"You know... that is a good question." Hope was settled by Lightning's knee, glancing up to the peak.

Snow let out a laugh. "Just leave the cinematics to me, Sis, my charm will get the answers." He saw her snort.

"Really, Snow?" she asked dryly. "Well..." Her voice trailed off, clearly lost in thought.

"Snow?" Serah's small voice piped up beside him.

"Yes, baby?" He caressed her hands with his large ones, bringing one of her hands to his lips, kissing her fingers.

"We'll be alright, right?" She sounded a little unsure, but her bright blue eyes were hopeful and she was clearly expecting him to comfort her.

"Of course. Your hero's got this - you know it." _And I hope she does - I'll be there for her no matter what._

* * *

><p>Lightning huffed as she reached the top of the path - she resisted the urge to rake her hands through her hair again. <em>It's been awhile since I've climbed a mountain. <em>Sounds coming from up ahead made her stop in her tracks - she held out a hand to stop the person behind her - Hope.

"Quiet," she hissed. She was glad it was dark - there was definitely civilization ahead and they needed to work out an entrance strategy carefully. The moon was a little too bright for her liking - at the top of the mountain they were above the fog line and it shone like one of those military spotlights back in New Bodhum. The moonlight wouldn't do much to conceal their movement, but she'd seen an excellent copse of trees just ahead to their right which would do nicely.

Her hand tightened on Hope's wrist, and she pulled him after her up the last few rocks. Kneeling on the ground for a few moments to catch her breath, Lightning quickly scanned the horizon for any sign of human life. _None. Good.  
><em>

Shoulder rolling forwards into the shadow of the copse of trees, she saw Hope creep quietly after her - he was also breathing hard. A crumble of rocks made her wince - definitely Snow and definitely as discreet as usual. _I see he hasn't learned to be quiet... like I told him, he'd never survive in a real war._

A small scuffle made her look up - Serah was crawling towards her, and she pulled her sister into the shadow of the leaves. Her gloved fingers brushed Serah's arms - for a moment, her sister looked surprised at the contact, but happily returned the light embrace.

"Thanks, Claire." Lightning nodded her assent at the comment, before turning her attention back to the cliff. Snow was due for an appearance any moment now...

"Shit!" His loud curse made Lightning want to get up and scream at him, but it took quite some effort to hold her tongue. She had begun to get up though, and a hand closed on her cape, pulling her back down. Luckily... there didn't seem to be anyone around - she didn't hear battle yells coming after them. _That doesn't mean that stupid oaf can't..._

Snow made it to their copse, still cursing under his breath. Lightning put on a scowl, and closed one fist around Snow's shirt.

"What the _hell_ were you thinking? Do you _want_ to give us away like that?" She lowered her voice to a harsh growl, barely controlling the anger she felt at him. Snow didn't reply at first, giving a sheepish glance towards Serah, who was looking a little reproachful, before mouthing "Oops" in her direction. Lightning rolled her eyes, giving him one last glare before turning her attention back to what was on the other side of the copse.

The whole mountain top was awash in moonlight - she really didn't see how they were going to go in unnoticed. There was a high stone wall, and all she could see beyond that was smoke, presumably from fires. There weren't any visible silhouettes of guards, but... _You never know. There could be dozens of snipers just hiding in the shadows._

She felt something poke her back. Irritated, she turned around, ready to snap at whoever had the stupidity to jab her while she was observing the scene before her. Obviously it was Snow, who didn't seem to have any grasp of the seriousness of the situation, as usual.

"Sis, why can't we just walk up to them?" Lightning fought the urge to punch him as her fingers curled into a slim fist - and then she remembered that for Serah's sake, she probably shouldn't.

"Because," she snapped back. "You want to waltz in like there's nothing wrong? We don't look desperate _at all._ And what are they going to see me as? That's right, Snow, in case you've forgotten our fal'Cie was an enemy to their tribe." She paused there, slightly amused at the shocked expression on his face. _Idiot._

Lightning pushed herself into a standing position, carefully pressing down each foot carefully in front of the other, motioning for everyone else to follow. She was glad of the spiky leaves that lay on the ground - it concealed her footsteps, allowing her to move silently. She pulled out her gunblade - there was no telling if there could be an attack any moment the closer they drew to the wall. And sure enough...

"Intruders!" A male voice somewhere above her head. She whipped her head up to the source of the sound, but the man had jumped down already, sword raised. Instantly, Lightning raised her own sword to counter the downward slash. More thumps hit the ground, signalling that other guards had jumped down too. Burying the tip of her omega in the man's thigh, she quickly turned. Hope was busy throwing Nue at some of the further guards, while Snow was acting as Serah's bodyguard and was swiping back and forth with his fists.

"Thundaga!" She channeled the spell from her left hand, hoping to get most of them with the one thunder spell. She heard more than one cry of shock, and whipped around to throw an Aerora at one of them who was dressed differently than the others. _Their leader?_

The man swung his scythe at her, and she dodged the uppercut, rolling forwards underneath the blade. She switched her gunblade back to gun mode and prepared to attack.

_"I'm no one's slave!" _Swiping at him with the weapon, she felt a flicker of surprise that he blocked nearly half her blows. _He's good._ The last bullet hit him square in the shoulder, but not before the tip of the scythe cut across her weapon arm. _Shit._ Before she could utter a cure spell, the doors in the wall banged open.

_"Stop."_ Instantly, the guards stopped fighting, and Lightning backed off to stand with Snow, Hope and Serah. She didn't lower her weapon though, wearily looking at the man that had thrown open the doors, accompanied by more guards. _Just how many... are_ _there?_ The man raised a hand and looked at her right in the eye.

"My name Yangt'zu, Tribe Leader of the Farseer Tribe. You must be the Oerba l'Cie our seeress foresaw coming a few moons ago."

Lightning narrowed her eyes. She didn't like the fact that they had been expected, and she definitely did not like the _seeress_ part.

* * *

><p>Yangt'zu observed the young woman who was so clearly their leader, and so very obviously a l'Cie. The aggressive stance she'd taken meant she was no stranger to battle, and he met her blazing cerulean eyes that were brimming with suspicion. He had to play this next part right if he wanted her, and he needed her... for the coming Eclipse. Even if she was a l'Cie from an enemy tribe.<p>

"You're very impressive at fighting. Why don't you come in, and we'll have a chat?" He tried to keep his voice amicable even though she was glaring at him, and it was clear from the expressions of her companions that they didn't trust him more than she did. He took the moment to assess her friends. The big man standing close to another girl with pink hair would be hard to take down, for sure. And as for the teenager with silver hair, well, he was small, but Yangt'zu had already seen him fight. The only one who didn't look like a fighter was the girl with the pink ponytail, who also happened to be the one not looking at him with outright hostility. _Her little sister?_ She'd held a curious look in her eyes ever since he mentioned the word _seeress_. He turned his attention back to the older pinkette, expecting her to move towards him. Instead, she just held her weapon higher and readied her left hand.

"And why should I trust you?" she shot back, clearly not fooled by the sudden warmth. He felt a startle of anger at her tone - no one in his tribe would dare speak to him that way, and from the shocked looks of his guards, they clearly thought so too. Yangt'zu took a breath, calming himself. _Remember, you need her and her friends._

"Because I have the answers you want." And he did... only he wouldn't tell them the complete truth. The seeress, Xue, had also forseen the people who were trying to amplify the Eclipse, to once again open the Door of Souls. He knew they were after her too, but for all the wrong reasons. And he could not let them get their hands on Xue, the _real_ l'Cie they needed for their purposes.

To his relief, he saw her relax a little, the suspicion fading a little. The platinum haired teenager beside her poked her side, and murmured something in her ear that he couldn't catch. Her expression relaxed, and she gave a sigh.

"Fine," she said evenly. "We'll have your little _chat_. But I expect answers." The look in her eyes held challenge, and he was a little shaken to see that the suspicion in her eyes was not yet gone. He watched as she muttered a cure spell, instantly wiping the one little wound his soldiers had managed to give her. _Impressive indeed._ _But the more impressive she is, the harder she'll be to catch in a net._

* * *

><p><strong>*grins evilly* Well, I'll leave the interpretation of the events up to you. Not going to spoil anything since anything I say will just tie into the following chapter, and well, you guys will have to wait. *cackles*<strong>

**But, as always, speculation and such welcomed, and be sure to leave love in reviews. The more love you leave, the faster I want to get the next chapter up. I have work again this weekend, but I'll try to get the next chapter up by tomorrow evening. I'm going to see _The Hunger Games_ after work on Sunday with my folks too, so well, the chapter after that might not be up till Monday. But I do promise at least one chapter this weekend, and the next chapter _is_ a long one.**

**Feed review monster, and I'll see you guys tomorrow!**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	18. Flight

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3**

**Thanks again to my reviewers:** **Mylaervain (and the HG movie was good? Sweet, I'm excited now) and OscarMerrinoz96! You guys are awesome.**

**And to Oscar - Yeah, to be honest, I can't really see Lightning with _anyone_ at all either, but, I realized that for a certain (and very important) plot point Light needed to have her "_someone"_ and I'd rather that someone be Hope (at least that would be believable, based on their in game interaction) than an OC or something. So I totally understand where you're coming from - like I said, I didn't have it planned until I worked out that particular plot point with my friend and I realized I needed it.**

**Don't get me wrong though guys, I thought the LightxHope stuff in game was terribly cute - I just find the age difference a little awkward, especially since she's older. xD Oh well, I'll figure out how to portray it somehow. **

**Anyways, enjoy as always! (:**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 18: Flight<span>

Lightning followed the man who called himself Yangt'zu into the centre of the village. One quick look around told her that this wasn't an Oerba, the village so ready to take on Cocoon's might. There wasn't any technology as far as she could see - the people lived in rough wooden houses and she didn't notice a gun in sight. _Is this why they didn't participate in the War of Transgression? Because they couldn't keep up with the technology? Or...  
><em>

But she didn't have time to ponder about it as Hope stumbled and bumped awkwardly into her back. She closed a hand on his arm and dragged him upwards.

"Thanks," she heard him mutter quietly. Letting go of him, Lightning let out a small huff to show him she'd heard. She didn't take her eyes of the curious people that were watching them, nor did she let go of her omega weapon with her other hand. She didn't care if the children and their mothers shied away from her, eying her with sullen suspicion.

She fixed her eyes on the white cape of Yangt'zu as he walked ahead of them. She didn't like the fact that they were surrounded by soldiers, and she definitely didn't like the possessive looks he was giving her. She shuddered inwardly in disgust, and fixed her glare on his back again. _Just what does he want... and why does he have soldiers surrounding us like we're captives?_

Shaking the suspicious feelings from herself, Lightning focused her gaze on her sister, huddled next to Snow. She looked more relaxed then Lightning felt - perhaps she didn't know, or feel anything wrong.

But they were arriving at the steps of the temple, and she shoved her feelings behind a passive expression. The lighting was dim inside, but she could make out Yangt'zu with a young woman dressed in white beside him. _The seeress he mentioned?_ She felt the woman's gaze lock onto her - the clear amethyst eyes fixed on her with an intensity that was impossible to look away from. Her long black hair was done in a bun at the back of her head, and she held a clutch of prayer beads in one hand. The voice was soft, but instantly, Lightning knew it held the authority of a woman who was used to leading her tribe.

"Your name is Lightning, isn't it." It wasn't a question, and she flinched back a little. She heard the sharp intake of breath behind her, and she narrowed her eyes. _She knows... my name?_

"I saw you... long before you set foot on Gran Pulse. Your fal'Cie is Anima. And that goes for your friends as well. You were fated to save Cocoon long before your footsteps were ever set on that path."

Lightning gazed at the woman under hooded eyes - the woman didn't seem to be looking at her anymore, but staring at the moonlight that shone through the open window in pale shafts. She tightened her grip on her gunblade - she had no intention of lowering it until she'd gotten the answers she needed.

Yangt'zu spoke. "This is Xue, our seeress." She felt Snow move up from beside Serah to stand beside her. One quick glance at his face told her he was thinking along the same lines as her - he was looking at Yangt'zu with the same look he'd looked at Barthandelus with.

"Alright. Want to tell us why exactly we're here?" Snow raised a gloved fist.

But it was Xue who replied. "You want to stop the Eclipse, don't you. But you'll need more answers than you have."

"And you can give them to us?" Lightning tried not to sound contemptuous. The woman nodded. She narrowed her eyes again - there was definitely something not right about the whole get-up. _If I were them, I'd let me know as little as possible. Who knows that they have to gain from the Eclipse?_

"Provided you cooperate with us, of course." _Of course there would be a catch - I knew it. _Yangt'ze opened his arms in a gesture of what he might have thought as friendship, but only reminded her horribly of Barthandelus. She shuddered inwardly again, trying to avoid his gaze. Lightning liked him less and less with every passing moment, and the desire to literally run away and hide was strong - her skin crawled whenever he looked at her.

"And what's the deal with cooperation?" She didn't even bother keeping the anger out of her voice - she should have suspected it earlier. Yangt'zu narrowed his clear brown eyes at her - clearly not liking her response.

"You keep Xue safe from the same people who are after you... and you fight with our tribe." She exchanged a glance with Hope and Snow in turn - hesitation was clear in both their eyes. She was glad Hope did the answering this time - Lightning didn't think she had much more self control over her temper.

"We'll have to think about that." She saw Yangt'zu make a move towards them - she flipped her gunblade into gun mode, just in case he was going to try something, and she moved backwards until she could hear Serah just behind her. Xue made a small motion to stop the man, and murmured something quietly that she couldn't hear.

His expression relaxed into something more mellow, and he gestured upstairs. "Of course, feel free to use any of our accommodations." Trying to shake off the uneasiness at his sudden pacifying expression, Lightning trailed after Serah and Snow with Hope as they followed one of the attendants. She could tell Hope was trying to catch her eye - but she didn't dare voice anything while Xue and Yangt'zu were still in earshot.

_Somehow... I know they know more than they're telling us. And we can't afford to let them lead us around like cattle on nose rings. _

_Yangt'zu... just what are you hiding?_

* * *

><p>Serah flopped down on the bed in the room she was sharing with her sister - from her spot she could see out the window at the cloudless, moonlit night sky. It was good to actually be sleeping under a roof again. Evidently, her sister didn't think so - Lightning was standing with her arms crossed by the doorframe to the bathroom.<p>

"Claire, why do you look so... I don't know... upset?" She heard her sister huff.

"I'm not _upset_, Serah, I'm suspicious." Lightning turned her head slightly towards her, pink hair glinting in the moonlight.

"Suspicious? Claire, you don't really think..." she started, careful not to look at Lightning's expression - she was wearing the soldier expression again and her brows were knitted tightly together in thought.

"Yes, Serah, that's exactly what I _do _think." Her sister moved over to sit on the other bed, putting down her omega weapon. Lightning lowered her voice, but her blazing turquoise eyes were just as intense as if she were in battle right now. "Maybe you didn't see it, Serah, but I did. The way he looked at me, the way they asked for help. There are more than just a _few_ strings attached to this, and if he thinks he can use us to get what he wants, well, that's not happening."

"Claire..." Serah lowered her voice to a quiet tone. "Couldn't you tell? He's desperate to save Xue." She saw her sister fix her intense blue gaze on her, shock clear in the cerulean irises.

"How can _you_ tell?" Lightning's voice was hard and cold, like she didn't believe her words.

Serah shifted her gaze to her sneakers. "Well, just by the way he introduced her. He's obviously very close to her, and well..." Her voice trailed off, and she risked a glance at Lightning. Her sister had crossed her knees and was fiddling with her weapon.

"Maybe, Serah, but he also clearly has a use for us. We were all l'Cie, and from the way they all talk about it, apparently all of you are still." Shrugging, Lightning lay back on the bed and turned so her back was facing Serah.

"Uhm, Claire?" She ventured at reaching out to her sister again.

Lightning hummed to show that she'd heard, not bothering to turn around.

"What are we going to do now?" She hoped she didn't sound desperate; Claire was only going to worry about her again if she did.

"We wait for their answers and leave, of course," came the muffled reply. "Go to sleep, Serah, it's going to be another long day tomorrow."

"Okay..." Only she didn't want to sleep. She didn't like that Claire so easily didn't trust the Farseer Tribe, and how she couldn't see that Yangt'zu was only trying to protect Xue. Maybe there were other intentions of 'using them', as Claire had put it, but she thought it was pretty obvious the Tribe Leader wanted to protect his seeress.

When the light breathing from her right had steadied - Serah was sure her sister was asleep now, she quietly tiptoed to the window, sitting on the window ledge. From here, she could see Cocoon - it was really only a tiny pea sized, glimmering thing from there - and the sight of it made her feel a little better, almost like she was protected by their former home.

She didn't know how she was going to convince her sister that the Farseer Tribe wasn't really a threat, but she knew she had to do it. And it wasn't just Claire, it was everyone else too. Before they did something they'd regret and have it kick them in the behind somewhere down the road. Serah let out a sigh, playing with her engagement necklace, fingering the delicate contours of the smooth metal.

_Maker... we'll be alright, won't we?_

* * *

><p>The next morning hit her in the face as Lightning opened her eyes to bright sunlight. Serah was nowhere to be seen... <em>Probably with Snow.<em> Pulling herself up, she raked her hands through her cherry coloured hair, smoothing out the tangles.

Grabbing her weapon off the floor, she stuffed it in its holster and started down the hall outside the room. Hope was standing outside, clearly having waited for her for awhile, an amused expression on his face.

"Sorry, I kept you waiting," she muttered quietly.

"No, Light, you need your sleep. Snow was just joking about how for once you were sleeping in." His voice held the faint tone of a tease in it, and she let out a huff.

"I don't want to know what that oaf thinks, got it?" Brushing past him, she started down the stairs.

"Hey, Light, wait! I didn't mean to-" His surprised, abrupt voice came somewhere behind her, and she stopped, turning around with one hand on her left hip. Poking a finger in his forehead, she smirked slightly at the surprised expression on his face.

"I get it, okay?" The small giggle reassured her a little - it was nice to see him in a good mood. "Come on, that idiot is probably downstairs and just waiting to yell at me." She curled her gloved fingers into a slim fist. _He'd better not be._ _Unless he wants another Water in his face... and this time I won't miss._

Downstairs, she was lightly embraced by a mess of light pink hair, and she quickly returned the embrace before brushing Serah off of her. Footsteps coming from the main hall made her turn around, and she saw Snow tense beside her, big hands curling into fists.

"Ah, so you're up. Come, have you thought about our proposal?" She didn't recognize the man, but by the way he was dressed, she assumed that he was one of Yangt'zu's advisors. Exchanging a glance with Hope and Snow, she saw her own conviction mirrored in their eyes. A light poke in her back made her turn to her sister.

"Claire... I told you last night..." Serah's voice almost had the tone of a whimper in it.

"I know what you said, Serah," she snapped back impatiently. "But we don't have the time or energy to worry about other people when we have to worry about ourselves."

"But Claire..." Serah didn't get to finish her sentence before Snow wrapped his arms around his wife, murmuring something to her that Lightning couldn't catch. It didn't matter though - if Snow could convince Serah better than she could, then by all means he was welcome to. _That's one thing he's better at than me... sometimes.  
><em>

Realizing that the man was still waiting for them at the end of the hall, she clicked her tongue. Snow pulled a still reluctant looking Serah after him, and nodded at her. Pulling Hope after her, Lightning started down the hall and was a little relieved when she heard more footsteps behind her. _Good._

The sunlight in the main entrance hall was blinding, and she had to shield her eyes for a few moments as they adjusted to the light. She could make out the figures of several more advisors, Xue, and of course, Yangt'zu himself.

Yangt'zu didn't look happy - it was obvious that he'd been waiting for awhile; suddenly, Lightning was glad she'd slept later - anything to make him feel more inferior. _Probably thought we'd be up at the crack of dawn begging for answers. _She let out a quiet snort. _Fat chance._

"So, my friends. Have you thought about my offer?" She hated the way his eyes lingered on her, trailing over her form. _Just what the hell do you want from me? _

"Yes," she hissed back. "Just what do you mean by 'cooperating'? I want the details." The man let out a sigh, and motioned for them to sit, like his advisors where. She had no intention of moving herself to a position where he stood above her though, and merely crossed her arms over her chest, waiting. She felt Hope tense beside her, and the scrunch of leather somewhere behind her on the left told her Snow was ready for a fight if it came to it. Serah hadn't made a sound - she guessed her sister wasn't happy about the way she was dealing with things. _But this is why you don't make the decisions, Serah. You're too kind to everyone to see past their exteriors._

"As I stated last night, you will join our tribe in the fight against the Eclipse, and you will help us defeat those who are after both of us. It makes sense to join forces against a common foe, does it not?" Maker, she hated the relishing way he spoke, like she was a little kid who didn't see that one plus one equaled two. She could see that he was fighting to keep his voice friendly though. _Nice try._

"Yeah? Well, we're _not interested._" Snow. He'd said the words she wanted to say. "We don't want to 'fight with you', thanks. We're perfectly capable on our own."

Xue stepped forwards, fixing her purple gaze on them again. And again, Lightning realized it was impossible for her to look away from that intense, knowing look. "But you need more answers."

"We'll find them." It was Hope. "We've found our own answers before; we'll do it again." _You always believed in us, didn't you? That's what kept us going - you kept the hope you were named for.  
><em>

The seeress turned to her Tribe Leader. "Yang, if they don't want to cooperate, we cannot force them to." The man looked livid - even from where she was standing Lightning could see the anger in his eyes.

"Xue, don't you realize we _have_ to? Those men with red eyes wiped out half our soldiers last time they came for you - and they are _still _after you!" Whipping his head around to them, he motioned at his soldiers, which were lined around the walls. "I don't care if you have to take them by force - they _must_ help us!"

Lightning pulled out her omega weapon before half of them even had the time to react. _So this is how you want to play, Yangt'zu? Well, you're messing with the wrong people._ She raised her left hand - she could catch most of them in a spell before they got too close and it would be all melee combat.

"Thundaga!" The spell rocked the floor of the temple, but some of the soldiers had been fast enough to evade it. She narrowed her eyes as she spotted the captain from last night diving for her. There wasn't any time to worry about Hope or Serah. She trusted that Hope could take care of himself and that Snow would protect her sister. _For once, I'm relying on you, Snow._

Dodging under the first swipe of the heavy scythe, Lightning caught its return swing with her gunblade, pushing back against it. That left her left hand free to cast, and the same realization must have hit the man because his eyes widened with shock. _Should have occurred to you earlier, no?_ Her Fira caught him in the chest and he fell, coughing. The wound wasn't fatal - a couple months and he should be fit for duty again. Throwing the Aerora at the rapid footsteps behind her, she back flipped and fired into the thigh of another soldier.

Xue was nowhere to be seen - her guess was that they hid her the moment they had begun to attack. Someone shouted her name behind her.

"Lightning! Let's go!" Moving backwards to the sound of Snow's voice, she aimed spell after spell at the incoming soldiers. And then another idea crossed her mind.

"Blizzara!" The spell created a giant ice flower in the middle of the wooden floor, and she could hear the thumps of bodies against it as they tried to push through it. _That should buy some time._ Aiming one last Thundara over her shoulder, she took off at a sprint after Snow, who was carrying Serah easily, and Hope - they were already out the door into the sunlight.

Something buried itself into her shoulder, and Lightning cursed under her breath. Reaching her left hand behind her, she wrenched the arrow out. Not even bothering to turn around, she pulled the trigger of the omega weapon in the direction of the archer - it didn't matter if it was going to hit or not; the distraction and the few moments it would take to avoid the bullet was enough for her to get away.

Stumbling out into the bright sunlight was something else. It was even brighter outside than it had been in the temple, and now she was in the open. _Shit. _Her shoulder ached and she could feel the warmth spreading on the cloth of the uniform. Lightning fixed her eyes on Snow's white coat several dozen paces ahead of her and told herself to keep going. Every time her left foot hit the ground a tinge of pain pulled at her shoulder - but she'd had worse.

Catching up to the others, Lightning turned back one last time at the temple. A small surge of satisfaction bubbled up as she saw the blackened roof of the structure and the archers that were still trying to shoot them - their arrows fell more than several feet short. _This is what you get for treating people like tools. _

The wall was another matter - the front gate was tightly locked; even though the bar could be lifted from the inside, she knew it was too heavy for them to lift. And there were sure to be guards lining the walls, just waiting to snipe them if they did make it out. Right now, they were right underneath the shadow of the wall; the archers couldn't aim directly down like that, but soldiers were coming from the direction of the temple.

"Back away from the wall," she hissed at the others. There was only one way to get rid of the wood, and she knew it. Snow instantly pulled aside a still startled looking Serah and Hope moved to cover her back. _Thanks._ Hope had certainly learned a lot since they'd first met him as a scared, traumatized teenager at the Hanging Edge.

"Fira!" The spell hit the door, rocking it on its hinges. When initial flames cleared, Lightning saw a hole in it big enough for even Snow to squeeze through. Launching herself forwards towards it, she cast a Watera at the remaining wood to douse the remnants of the smoking barrier.

"Come on!" No one needed to be told twice. Snow handed Serah to her before he pushed himself through the gaping hole, and Lightning set Serah down, waiting for the moment Hope scrambled though to cast another spell that would hopefully stop the rest of the pursuit. Once he was clear, she aimed one last Thundaga just beyond the door, before they took off on the path that would lead them down the other side of the mountain. A fleeting thought crossed her mind as she headed for the trees. _Now what?_

* * *

><p>Yangt'zu watched the gang of l'Cie escape, and the fruitless attempts of his soldiers to chase after them. He knew there was no point - the woman, <em>Lightning<em>, was strong enough to take on an entire platoon of his soldiers with just her magic. And even wounded, she'd somehow managed to escape through through his fingers. A small growl of frustration escaped his lips - this would not be the last she saw of him. Snapping his fingers, he summoned an attendant.

"Yes sir."

"Tell the soldiers to give up pursuit - there's plenty to be fixed around at home without chasing after wild geese with strong wings."

"Yes sir." He observed the damage they'd done to his village in just the span of less than half an hour. The front gate blown open, temple ruined, the list went on...

_This is why I need her. And the rest of them, once their powers have all been fully awoken. They have the Goddess's blessing - they have Eidolons. Xue saw it. And I need those spirits to help safeguard Xue when those red eyed clones come back... and who knows when they'll be back? Perhaps tonight, even._

"Sir." A soldier.

"Yes, what is it?" He snapped back, not bothering to turn around.

"It's Lady Xue, sir, she's gone."

* * *

><p>Lightning sank onto a rock on the path - it was twilight and they desperately needed to rest, having fled down the mountainside for most of the duration of the day. Her shoulder ached badly and she needed to cast several cure spells on it before it got worse. Luckily, they were almost three quarters of the way down and it was beginning to flatten out. There was a clump of trees next to a small forest that would conceal them for the night well enough.<p>

"Let's just stop here for the night," suggested Hope, looking at her worriedly. She snorted - she didn't need the concern; in fact, she was more concerned about Serah, who was clinging to Snow like he was a lifeline. Moving further into the trees, she spotted a small creek. _Excellent. _

Snow set Serah down on a rock, and she went to join her sister, putting a slender arm around her shoulders.

"Hey. You okay?" Serah looked at her with despair in her pale blue eyes.

"Claire, we could have helped..." Her voice was small, and it was trembling. _I hate it when she's like this._ Gently pulling more of her sister to her, Lightning awkwardly patted her back.

"Serah, you know why we did what we did." She felt the pink head bob against her shoulder, and she winced.

"I know, Claire... it's just, I feel bad for Xue... and- When did you get hurt?" Serah had noticed, and was looking at her with slightly indignant eyes.

"Serah, I told you not to worry about me, okay?" Lightning muttered the cure spell she'd been meaning to all day, feeling it wipe most of the pain away instantly. It still ached a little, but that she could deal with - at least the wound itself was gone.

"Hey, Sis, you could have told us to give you, oh, a couple of seconds if you were hurt, you know." Snow's bumbling voice came from somewhere behind her.

"Shut up, Snow. I don't need you acting all motherly and lovey dovey near me, okay?" But the big man just laughed, coming up behind them and pulling Serah away from her and into his embrace. She let out an irritated huff; turning away, she watched Hope fill a water canteen from the creek. Digging a bottle of iodine from her pack, she slapped it into his hand as he came back.

"Seven drops, okay? And then wait half an hour." He giggled.

"Got it, Light."

It was too risky to build a fire - not only would the pinprick of light in the darkness give them away, smoke also rose upwards. Lightning felt Hope rest his head on her shoulder; she still wasn't used to the contact, but she had to admit she was glad for the warmth - it was getting colder now that the sun was gone. Serah was bundled in Snow's coat again, only tendrils of her pink hair was visible from where she was sitting. _Just as well. Her oaf will keep her warm for tonight._

A crackle of shoes on dried leaves and other plant life made Lightning instantly stand up, breaking the delicate contact between her and Hope. She raised her omega weapon - whoever it was sounded like they were alone, and alone meant she could take care of them with just her weapon.

"Don't shoot, please! It's me." Xue. _How the hell did she follow us all the way down here?_

The seeress emerged from the trees, and Lightning lowered her weapon a little - she wasn't armed.

"Why are you here?" Hope's cautious voice came from beside her shoulder - Nue was in his hands too.

"To apologize for Yang, and to give you something." The woman's gaze was fixed on her, and Lightning found herself rooted to the spot as she drew nearer, white robes shimmering oddly in the faint moonlight.

"Yang was only trying to protect me - he doesn't know the right way to go about it. He knew you all were strong; you saved Cocoon, after all. And this was the only way he could think of to get you to help." Lightning caught Serah's _I-told-you-so_ look from where she was standing with Snow. The woman continued.

"I know that only you, Lightning, have found your powers again, and only because _they_ took you. But the rest of you, I know where you can possibly get your powers back. Us l'Cie of the Farseer Tribe, we have an initiation place as well, where we are branded." Lightning felt something being pressed into her hand. "This will tell you where to go - perhaps your powers will awaken there too."

"Wait, so you know-" But Snow didn't get to finish before the woman shot him a silencing gaze. "But I warn you - your brands are and will be white for now - because Anima is dead. But when he is revived by the Eclipse, or if _they_ should find a way to give you a new Focus, I cannot help you there."

Lightning opened her mouth to say something, but Xue had already turned away and was walking back into the dark expanse of the trees. The woman's hair glinted silver in the moonlight as she turned around one more time.

"And... Thank you... for not hurting my brother." No one had a chance to reply before she disappeared into the trees. She heard Snow sink down onto his rock again with Serah - they were murmuring something to each other Lightning didn't have the patience to pay attention to. She felt Hope tug on her arm, and she dropped whatever Xue had given her into his hand. Her eyes were still fixed on the spot where the woman had vanished.

_No... thank you._

* * *

><p><strong>Well... interesting development there, no? I assume you all know what's coming in the next few chapters - looks like the rest of the gang are going to become l'Cie again as well. And I wonder what Serah will major in, ha! Feel free to guess her roles in battle (I am only going to have Light and the rest of the party use their main roles, so... well, Serah's three are up for you to<strong> **imagine/speculate!)**

**The next chapter will not be up until the very earliest tomorrow night, possibly it might take me until Monday afternoon, but leave love as usual in reviews, and I will see you all next time!  
><strong>

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	19. What Doesn't Kill You

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3**

**I got it done earlier than expected - I got more of this chapter done than I thought I would yesterday, and so here it is! (:**

**A big thank you to my reviewers again, OscarMerrinoz96 (and yes, same here, it is definitely the age difference that gets me) and Mylaervain! You guys rock, and I really appreciate the time it takes to write a review! ;D**

**So anyways, moving on to the chapter - this one is a little lacking in action, as a emotional piece is the centrepiece of this chapter. (And hopefully I got it right - suggestions to said emotional piece appreciated!) Enjoy as always!**

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><p><span>Chapter 19: What Doesn't Kill You<span>

Birds chirped in the slender branches above his head as Hope blinked his eyes open to the pale morning sunlight. He gave a surprised start when he realized he'd been leaning on someone in his sleep... and that someone was Lightning. Pulling himself up quickly, he brushed out the wrinkles in his clothes - Light wasn't going to be happy if she woke to find out he'd been leaning on her while they'd been asleep.

Snores cut through the serene morning light, and he allowed himself a smile - Snow wasn't ever discreet, not even when he was asleep. _At least I don't have to sleep in the same room as him. _A burst of birdsong made him look up - flocks of candy pink birds were nestled above him. _I wonder if..._

The tree branches weren't terribly tall, and the trees themselves didn't look hard to scale. His black gloves gripping the bark, he was surprised to find them rough but easy to grip. Perfect for climbing. Remembering all the trees he'd climbed in the childhood he'd left behind not too long ago, Hope set his eyes on his goal: a clump of nests about twenty feet up.

Going up was easy enough - the birds had fluttered off with alarmed cries the moment he cleared five feet. Triumphant, Hope stuck his head above the nest line, and sure enough, he was greeted by the sight of several large blue eggs. He wasn't quite sure what kind they were - he'd never seen them before, but who cared? _Eggs are edible... right?_

"Hope! What the _hell_ are you doing up there?" Lightning's irritated voice sounded a little distant as he was so high up. Closing a fist around the fat eggs, he slid them into his pocket and looked down. Her pale heart shaped face was barely visible through the foliage, but her pink hair glistened in the morning sunlight, and even from where he was he could see the scowl on her face.

"Erm, nothing." Maker, he sounded pathetic - exactly like a kid who had been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing. He saw her glare at him disbelievingly.

"_Right._ Because _nothing_ told you to climb twenty feet into the trees." She let out an irritated huff. "You'd better get yourself down here, because I'm _not_ going up to fetch you." The sound of boots on dead leaves told him she was leaving, and branch by branch, Hope slowly lowered himself to the forest floor, careful not to jostle the bird eggs in his pockets. A fist closed on the back of his shirt.

"Now. Tell me _exactly _what you were doing so high in that tree." Lightning - she was the only person who could sneak up on him like that. He held out the eggs in response. _Hopefully she won't be too mad when she sees these..._

He heard an exasperated snort as she glanced up into the trees again. "Well, I can't exactly stop you from being an egg thief, but honestly Hope, that was dangerous..." He felt her flick him in the back of the head.

"Ow! Okay, Light, I'm sorry!" When she didn't reply, he risked a glance at her. She still looked a little angry, but there was an expectant expression on her face. "Uhm... I promise to ask you next time?" he ventured.

She turned around as she went to drop some twigs on a bare spot on the earth, teal eyes glinting with amusement. "You'd better."

* * *

><p>Snow woke to Lightning's boot in his side... again. Springing away with a yell of indignation, Snow tried to glare at her. It wasn't easy when she was glaring back with a dangerous look in her eyes.<p>

"Snow, do you know what time it is?" Not bothering to wait for him to reply, she continued. "Ever heard of _getting up early so we can get a head start_?"

"Uhhh, no, Sis? Honestly, if you wanted me up earlier you could have kicked me." He tried to make his voice sound friendly - but it was first thing in the morning and Lightning was already mad.

"Tch. I don't have time to baby you. Look, Serah's the only one who can baby you all you want - why don't you ask her next time?" She didn't bother to wait for his response, turning away while stuffing her weapon in its holster. _Speaking of Serah..._

His wife was nowhere to be found - he assumed she was with her sister, and sure enough, when he stumbled after Lightning he found her kneeling next to a small fire with several eggs and more than a few birds. She looked up from cooking when she saw him though, and a radiant smile lit up her face.

"Snow! You're up!" Her slender arms wrapped around him, and he eagerly returned the embrace. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, Snow was just about to...

"How many times have I told you I don't want to see that first thing in the morning?" Lightning's irritated voice broke them apart and he noticed the blush on Serah's cheeks as she stared at her sneakers and put her arms behind her back.

"Claire... that's kind of mean. I mean, we're married and all... You don't have to be so uptight." Her older sister didn't seem to think so though, as she let out an angry huff, shooting a venomous glance at Snow. _She thinks I started it, doesn't she?_

"There's a difference between doing whatever you do in private and right in front of me, okay?" She paused for a minute, using the time to glare at both of them - then she cast a glance at the fire behind her before turning away. "By the way, Serah, the eggs are burning."

Serah broke away from his embrace, bounding for the small fire, poking the eggs away from the coals with a long stick. She held one up with slim fingers, and offered it to him. Snow looked at it suspiciously - the blue shell was a little blackened, and it wasn't an egg he recognized. His wariness must have showed on his face because Serah giggled.

"Snow, it's just an egg, you know. Eat it!" Carefully plucking it from her fingers, Snow rolled it around in his hand.

"Anything for you, baby."

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><p>Lightning unrolled the thing that Xue had given her the night before on a flat rock. Snow and Serah were still giggling and laughing over the food, and she shook her head. <em>Why did I bother to go hunting for them? Next time they want to waste food, they can hunt for themselves.<em> Hope had settled himself beside her knee, looking on intently.

The _thing_ in question was what she had suspected it was - a map. And at first, she couldn't understand it - the writing wasn't Pulsian and it gave her a headache, looking at the funny lines and symbols. And then she recognized one landmark - one that wouldn't be easy for her to forget: Cocoon. Quickly glancing northeast a few inches, sure enough, a tall mountain was sketched in. And just to the north of that one was a cave... with a Pulse l'Cie symbol in the middle of it. A finger jabbed it the moment she put her eyes on the spot.

"Light, that's... That's what Xue was talking about, isn't it?" Hope's voice was hushed.

"I think so... and we shouldn't be too far from it. Why, you think it's worth taking a look?" When Hope suddenly stood up, she was a little startled - something was definitely up.

"Light, not to offend you or anything, but it's well, not fair that you do most of the fighting." She stood up too, aware of what he was implying. "I, well, I don't mind becoming a l'Cie again. If it means stopping the Eclipse. And I'm sure Snow feels the same way."

Shock and horror. That was all she could feel at the moment. She knew exactly what he was talking about now, and... _I swore... I would protect you. And you, becoming a l'Cie again is..._

"No. Out of the question." She could feel the initial shock of the question giving way to anger. "You're not." She put on her best stern look and scowled at the teenager, hoping he could see the anger in her face and forget the craziness he was suggesting.

But he glared right back at her, suddenly reminding her of the teenager in the Gapra Whitewood and Palumpolum - the one who was ready to do anything for revenge. "No, Light! It's like Serah said, you try doing everything by yourself and you end up getting hurt. You might have promised to protect me, but remember, I promised to look out for you too."

Lightning pretended not to have heard his last sentence. "It doesn't matter if I have to do things by myself! You're not running around with a brand again. You heard what Xue said, if-"

"That's _exactly_ why I'm suggesting this! You think I, no, make that _any of us_ want to see you turn into a C'ieth? That's why you gotta let us help..." The sounds of the giggling somewhere behind her had stopped, but Lightning didn't care anymore. She didn't want to reply, didn't want to give in. _Like I'm trapped between fire on one side and hell on the other. _Trying to control the involuntary shaking that had taken over her body, she tried to control her voice, tried to keep the utter anguish out of it.

"I know that. I know that you care. But I care too, okay? And you don't need to be a C'ieth because of me." Her fingers instinctively found her weapon - it was her comfort thing whenever she felt threatened. Closing her slim fingers on the omega weapon's handle, Lightning tried to glare at him. But she couldn't - not when he was looking at her like that. She felt hands close around her shoulders.

"Light! You're not going to make me change my mind. Other people care about you just as much as you care about them. So accept it, okay?" She angrily shook his hands off her shoulder, backing away a few steps.

"Listen, Hope, I don't care what kind of personal agenda you've got - _I don't agree._" She turned around, flicking her cape behind her, and crossed her arms. Lightning tried to calm the tumultuous emotions raging inside her; tried not to show it on her face or in her actions. But she couldn't. _I can't... let them do this. And I'm sure of that much, but... _

She hadn't given much thought to Xue's words the night before, but Hope's words had brought it up again. _What if I do end up getting another Focus? Or what if..._ As much as she didn't want to think about it, she couldn't deny that there was a possibility that she could end up in crystal stasis again. And if they really managed to reawaken whatever that had woken them up last time... _The possibilities are endless, really. _But she still wasn't ready to let him... even if her efforts were pointless in the dark, twisted road ahead, she had to try.

She knew they cared, and if she was honest, she felt the slightest touch of warmth whenever she realized that they cared. But no matter how much they cared, it wasn't going to change the fact that _she'd_ promised to protect them all. And...

"Claire?" Serah's hesitant voice sounded somewhere in front of her. Lightning brushed back pink hair that had fallen into her eyes, and she let out a small gasp when she felt the sweat on her forehead. She tried to fix her gaze on her sister, but one glance at the look of pity in Serah's eyes brought the anger back in less than a single heartbeat.

"Serah, save it. I know you're only going to spout the exact same things Hope did, and I _don't want_ to hear it." Her voice shook on the last few words, and she knew that even if it didn't, Serah knew exactly how weak she felt emotionally at the moment.

"Claire, we say these things because we care, like I already told you." Her sister's voice was gentle. "But you can't - You can't stop us from trying to protect you, just like we can't stop you from doing things by yourself." Serah moved closer to her, gently wrapping fingers around her upper arms, shaking her slightly. "We all want to do what we can to help. Claire, you know as well as we do that if those people really get what they want, it won't matter what we are. So let us help... okay?"

Lightning felt her sister's arms slip as she realized she was sinking to her knees. "Serah, I..." She felt her sister brush back her hair, and somehow, the gesture reminded her of the childhood that she so willingly threw away.

"I know, Claire. But you can't do everything alone... okay?"

_Serah, that's so easy for you to say. And I do admit that it feels, well... _nice_ to be cared for by everyone, but I still can't... I can't let... I promised to protect you for a reason.  
><em>

"Light, please let us help..." Hope sounded desperate for her to agree. "Even if anything goes wrong, no one blames you, okay?"

Lightning forced herself from her knees, trying to glare at Hope, but knowing any attempt would be fruitless - it was too obvious she was so vulnerable at the moment. She saw the puppy dog eyes of her sister, and the expectant expression of Hope - and she knew with a sinking heart she had to give in, even if it wasn't what she wanted, even if she didn't agree, she knew they'd just do it anyways. _If this causes some argument that lasts... and they do it anyways, it's not worth it. None of what I say will be worth it. _Lightning pushed the emotions down, taking a deep breath as she gripped her gunblade, trying to rationalize the situation. She was glad when her next words sounded stronger and more assertive.

"Fine... I can't stop you, since you look so determined to help. But just... don't-" Even so, her voice quavered on the last sentence, when she really assessed what they were going to do. _Damn, why do I have to be so weak?_ _I could have been stronger, could have just ignored Serah and Hope and refused, but every... single time... When it comes to them trying to persuade me, I feel like every part of me is being stripped away before them. _She heard Hope move closer to her, and he cut her off gently.

"We know, Light. We know." Hope's voice was even. And she didn't pull away when his arms circled her waist.

* * *

><p>Snow hid a snigger behind his hand.<p>

He'd stood quietly to the side while his wife and Hope tried to console Lightning into letting them help, and he almost stepped in when he saw her sink to her knees. But now, well, the scene in front of him was just too _cute_ not to smile at - Lightning _letting_ Hope hug her. She wasn't exactly hugging back, but he stored the moment in his mind - he'd tease her about it later.

"Alright, guys, time to go, okay?" He hoped his voice was assertive enough - if Lightning heard the amusement in it, she was sure to come over and punch him. Hope awkwardly detached himself from the soldier at his words, blushing a little. _Heh. The kid too?  
><em>

Lightning, on the other hand, clearly hadn't missed the amusement in his voice. Her eyes were still glazed with the same pain and indecision they'd had earlier, but she managed to shoot him a piercing glare nonetheless. Swiping the map off the flat rock they'd left it on, Snow glanced down at it for the first time. The scrpit didn't make any more sense to him than if it had been speaking monster, but he could guess.

"Aight, Sis, let's go." She shot him another glare, but plucked the paper from his loose fingers and strode quickly ahead of him. Again, Snow marveled at how quickly she was able to shut down her emotions and turn from the terrified, almost hysterical young woman to the stoic soldier he saw ahead of him. _Sis knows how to internalize her emotions better than I ever will. _And maybe that's what made her such a ruthless fighter - not because she was more skilled or had more strength, but because she was able to put the compassionate part of her tucked away, while...

_While I can't. _The Hanging Edge, Palumpolum. Shaking the memories from his head, Snow allowed Serah to link her arm with his. It wasn't hard to guess why she still looked a little down, and he smoothed her pink ponytail, hoping the gesture was enough to let her know he knew.

"Hey baby..." She smiled a little. "It's okay now... right?"

"I hope so..." Her voice was lower than it usually was, and he realized it was because she didn't want Lightning to hear. The soldier was far enough ahead of them though, that he didn't think so. "It's just... I sounded strong earlier, but that was only to convince Claire... I didn't think she would take it like that..." Her quiet voice trailed off, and Snow gently moved his hand down to her cheek, pulling it up a little. He was looking right into her sky blue eyes now.

"Don't doubt it - Sis would never have come to the conclusion if you didn't help her. It was the right one, and it's about time she realized that. Okay? So don't feel bad, baby, you and Hope did the right thing."

He felt her lean against him, burying her small face in his shoulder. His gloved hand trailed around to her back.

"I know... it's just... It hurts to see her like that. It really does. Snow... I don't ever want to make her feel like that again." He chuckled a little.

"Oh, I know you won't, baby. Sis is tough - she'll be fine. Remember? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and Sis _is_ a survivor."

He felt her nod against him, humming a small murmur of agreement.

"Are you two going to set there and dawdle all day, or are we going?" Lightning's angry shout sounded from somewhere ahead of them, and he heard Serah give a little giggle.

"Come on, Snow, we'd better get moving before Claire gets angry at us for something else." Pulling his hand, she walked faster forwards. Laughing, he followed her, admiring the way the sun made her pink hair glisten like pearls.

_And I'll follow you anywhere. You know that._

* * *

><p>It was nightfall when the mouth of the cave loomed into view. Set into a mountainside, the opening was nearly covered by dark green pines, but the yawning black mouth of the cave was even darker than the night itself. Serah felt Lightning stop in front of her, tensing. Her sister's fingers went right for her weapon, and Serah saw the flash of gleaming metal in the moonlight as she drew it.<p>

Her fingers tightened around Snow's hand, and she felt him squeeze back. No one needed to say it, but the cave had a sinister feeling about it - like the mouth was the mouth of a monster just waiting to devour them in the darkness.

"You sure this is it?" Even Hope's quiet whisper seemed too loud for the obviously deserted canyon this cave was located in, and Serah half expected monsters to leap out at them at his words. She waited for Lightning to snap back that she could read a map.

But she didn't, only humming to show that she was sure.

She caught Snow's cocked eyebrow of surprise at her sister's lack of a reaction, and she shrugged back silently. An angry look entered Snow's eyes, and she held back a giggle - she knew _exactly_ what he was thinking at the moment. _More than likely very angry that had it been him, Claire would have chewed his head off already. _

Serah watched as her sister took the first tentative step into the mouth of the cave - her boot echoed on the stone and she saw her sister wince. But nothing else seemed to be there, and for some reason, the silence was almost as unnerving as if monsters had appeared. _It's too quiet. Even I can see that there's no way monsters don't live here. And if they're not here, that just begs the question... 'What's here then?'_

"Let's go," Snow murmured quietly from beside her. This time, she let him pull her into the darkness of the cave. The only thing she could see was Hope's platinum hair and her sister's weapon, reflected off by the moonlight that streamed through the entrance that was now behind her. Every footstep seemed too loud for the thick silence in the cave - even the sounds of nature were muted by the rock walls. Straining her ears, Serah could hear drips of water, but her eyes struggled to adjust to the total darkness that engulfed them. She couldn't imagine what it was like for her sister right now in the lead - Snow was right beside her holding her hand and _she _was still scared.

The deeper they went, the more suffocating the darkness seemed to be. The tunnel was narrowing; Serah's sneakers bumped the sides of the cave a little too often, and the only way she could know that there were other people there just beside her was the sound of breathing and footsteps. The air was cold, but not in an unpleasant way - it tasted fresh. _Is this a tunnel?_

She bumped into someone ahead of her, and she heard Lightning hiss.

"Why did we stop?" Snow's voice was somewhere beside her, and Serah groped in the darkness for his hand. Finding it, she gripped his gloved fingers and squeezed them tightly. She felt him hold her back, and the small gesture made her feel slightly more relaxed.

"I think we're here," came the quiet reply. When her sister moved, Serah realized she could see the pale pink strands of her hair highlighted by some eerie blue tinged glow. It wasn't enough to see anything else by, but she let out a quiet sigh of relief. _Everything's gonna be okay, right?_

Her next step downwards took her into a puddle, and she let out a small shriek as the cold wave of water washed over her sock. Instantly, she felt Lightning's steel grip close on her arm.

"Claire, it's okay... I just panicked, that's all." She gently pushed her sister's grip off her arm, and prodded her forward. The eerie blue glow became brighter the more they walked - she couldn't see over Lightning's head, but there _had_ to be something there. Her sister and Hope's silhouettes were now clear in the darkness - something up ahead was causing shadows to dance on the wall behind them, and Serah thought she could hear the whistle of a faint breeze.

"Are we outside?" Clearly, Snow thought the same.

But the question didn't need answering, because the tunnel opened up into one of the most visually stunning places Serah had ever seen. _And I'm from Cocoon, the supposed 'floating paradise'. _There was a lake in the middle of the large cavern, but it couldn't really be called a cavern. The top of the cave was gone, and it opened directly into the star spangled sky. Some sort of luminescent plant life grew on the sides of the walls, which were weeping water that fed the crystalline lake in the middle.

Serah ventured a foot into the cave that dipped downwards. Somehow, in this place that opened to the sky, her footsteps didn't seem loud anymore. _We must have been climbing... We entered at the bottom of a canyon, and now the sky looks so close, I feel like I could touch it. _Lightning and Hope were standing at the side of the lake, peering intently into the bottom of it, and Serah made her way to them, carefully picking her way around stalagmites and stalactites.

The blue glow was coming from the centre of the lake, and deep down in its clear waters, she could see the symbol of a Pulse l'Cie etched in the same glowing lines. The bottom of the lake was smooth, unnaturally so. _I wonder why that is? This place looks like nature carved it with the work of centuries, but maybe not? _

Suddenly, the click of a weapon echoed through the empty cavern, and Serah tensed when her sister whipped around - turquoise eyes blazing, omega weapon drawn. She felt Hope flinch beside her, and her line of vision was quickly obscured by Snow's large form.

"Looks like our l'Cie _friends_ finally made it, hm?"

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><p><strong>You guys already know about my penchant for cliffhangers, ha! <strong>

**Well, you'll just have to wait and see what happens next, wheeee~ I did promise some l'Cie action for the next couple of chapters last chapter after all. I wonder who was lying in wait? Well, correct guesses as to who it is - there are so many people after them now! D: - gets you a special shoutout! 8D**

** I'll most likely have the next chapter up tomorrow evening, so leave love in reviews as always, and I'll see you guys next chapter! :3**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	20. Another Lifetime Away

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! ;3**

**Thank yous to my reviewers GCFarron, OscarMerrinoz96, and Mylaervain! (: You guys are awesome. The special shoutout goes to Mylaervain and Oscar, ha, you guys guessed my intentions right on the nose. n_n**

**And to GCFarron: No, I totally understand your sentiment! D: I really didn't know how else to solve that plot point, so I felt like I had to put Light and Hope together (I don't want to spoil anything, but trust me when I say that I felt that was well, the only way to progress). To be honest, I'm still kind of iffy on it as well, as I share your sentiment about the age difference hugely. But I do promise no explicitness - I don't think I could write a straight up romance to begin with. (I'm terrible at romance... hence all my writing is plot/emotional content driven) It will be subtle for sure (less than the Serah and Snow moments I've included so far, that is a given) - as I said, the plot and action are the main things driving this fic. **

**Anyways, enjoy as always! (:**

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><p><span>Chapter 20: Another Lifetime Away<span>

Lightning gripped her omega weapon, flipping it to gun mode. She scanned the area quickly, but she couldn't see anything - she was painfully aware that they were standing in the middle of the pool of light, and whoever it was, was standing in the darkness. Her eyes tried to adjust to the stark contrast, but she couldn't focus on anything.

Moving forward a few steps, she tried to calm her erratic breathing. _Don't panic... don't lose it..._

A figure emerged in front of her, melting out of the shadows. The silver cat eyes, the tiny vestigial wings... she knew who this was. Lightning gritted her teeth and raised her weapon, aiming it at his forehead. _Come and get it._

"Oh, my dear Lightning... Why do you greet an old friend in such a rude manner? We just want to talk..." The twisted smile was obvious even though she could only half see his face.

"Shut the fuck up," she hissed back. "You're obviously here for something, and I want to know what."

The man shrugged offhandedly, raising his hands to suggest nonchalance. "Oh Lightning, you're as polite as ever. That sort of language doesn't befit you, you know?"

"What do you want?" she snarled again, not bothering to conceal the disgust in her voice. But the man didn't answer, just flipping his hand over his shoulder as he turned, giving her one last chilling smile.

"Finish them." The moment the words left his mouth, Lightning felt the ground shake, and she heard Serah shriek. Utter terror seized her as she whipped around, Serah clinging to the edge of the rock that must have been shattered by some sort of bazooka. She tried to run forwards to help her sister - she didn't know where the hell Snow and Hope were, and she refused to think of the other possibilites - but a thick arm wrapped around her neck when she tried to push away.

Fighting furiously at the grip, she kicked backwards. The grip loosened with a grunt from behind, and she half twisted out of the grasp, freeing the use of her left hand.

"Fira!" The spell caught the man in the face, and she flung the arm off of her. She glanced desperately back at her sister, but she couldn't see her - there were too many enemies in her way. Desperation made her freeze for a moment, terror and anguish pounding through her veins. _Fuck... Serah, no!_ A pounding burst of pain from her brand and she held her left hand to it.

"Odin!" The crystal formed in her hand, and tossing it, she sliced it in half with her gunblade. The summon circle illuminated the entire cavern, and she caught a glimpse of Hope struggling to swim back to the edge of the lake.

"Cut us a path!" The Eidolon was suddenly beside her, towering above her regally. Taking her omega weapon again, she sliced at the nearest enemy, not caring whether her blows were fatal or not. _I have to save them... I have to save them!_ A spray of bullets showered near her, and she heard it deflect off of something. Casting a glance behind her, Lightning recognized Ullr's Shield. _Thanks._

Moving forward again, she flipped forward over a rock, her boot connecting with a man's face. Hearing the sickening _crack_, she shoulder rolled sideways. Switching her omega weapon back to gun mode, she aimed at another one who was going after her. _There's too many of them!_ Gritting her teeth again, Lightning set her eyes on the next trio advancing slowly on her.

_"I control my own fate!" _She didn't even care what her blade landed on now, anything that got her closer to Hope and Serah was help. Panting, Lightning rested one hand on her knee, her blue gaze sweeping over the cavern again. She couldn't see anything in her field of vision, and for some reason, that terrified her. _Where's Serah... and Hope? _She felt herself beginning to panic again as terror seized her body, a fear as familiar as life, and she raised her hand. _Odin, I need your help!_

The piercing whinny of her Eidolon sounded behind her. Picking up the scythe blades, she jumped onto Sleipnir's back, directing it with her knees. A small gasp closer to the lake edge caught her attention, and she sliced away whatever was in her way, not caring if it was human or inorganic.

Her fingers brushed, and then grasped slim, wet fingers. Summoning the remaining strength in her upper arms, Lightning pulled Serah from the water, holding her wet, shaking form close to her own body for a moment.

"Claire..." Her sister's teeth were chattering, and Lightning hoped her body heat was enough to warm her sister. She didn't have the chance to respond though, as she searched the cavern desperately for Hope - Snow could take care of himself. Sleipnir pawed the ground impatiently. _What is it... Odin?_

Something else gripped her arm, and instinct instantly commanded her to shake it off. But when she looked down, she was staring into the scared, wide emerald eyes of Hope. He was dripping wet too, but he looked better than Serah. He was holding something on his left wrist, and within several heartbeats of absolute dread, Lightning knew what it was.

_A brand._

* * *

><p>Hope saw the look of terror in Lightning's eyes. <em>She knows.<em> But it wasn't time to argue with her, and he only hoped his rediscovered l'Cie powers was enough to get them out of their current predicament. Serah was holding her left arm too, and he knew that the moment the bazooka had knocked them into the lake and the piercing pain erupted from his wrist that the brands were back.

He raised his left hand, feeling the familiar rush of magic. He only hoped his recently rediscovered l'Cie powers were enough to get them out of their current predicament. Hope glanced upwards to catch the glimpse of a silver streak of bullets aimed at Lightning - the few moments she'd paused to look at him had made her a target. The Protect that left his hand slowed the impact of the projectiles; enough for her to realize what was happening and to shove Serah off of Odin and out of the way. But the spell couldn't make them disappear as one of the bullets found her side and the Eidolon vanished as Lightning crumpled to the ground, holding her right side. The deepening red on white flashed before Hope's eyes.

The Cura left his hand before he even gave it a second thought - the soft blue light came together on Lightning's side, and he heard her groan. A rush of panic swelled in his stomach. _Light...!_ Serah reached her before he did, pulling her sister upright as her clear blue eyes opened. There wasn't any pain in them, and Hope let out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. Lightning roughly pushed Serah off of her, muttering that she was okay. As if to prove the point, she pulled herself to her feet, cursing quietly. The Eidolon's weapon had vanished the moment its master's power had been cut off, but Hope saw the glint of the omega weapon in her right hand.

"Hope!" Her voice was still somewhat raspy, but it was strong, and he felt a flicker of relief to see her in control again. "Slash and Burn, now!" The hoarse command reminded him they were still in a battlefield, and there were still people after them. They'd been knocked into the shadows the moment the snipers had gunned for them, but he didn't know where they were - scanning his eyes over in the direction of the shots, Hope couldn't still couldn't make out a thing; the bright lit lake in the middle of the cavern was messing with his vision.

A clang of metal on metal brought him back to the situation at hand - Lightning had locked her omega weapon with another blade several feet away. The Firaga left his hand, and he saw her jump away at the last moment. The brilliant flash of fire lit up the cave for a single moment, the figure she'd been engaging consumed in black smoke - but he couldn't see Snow. _Crap, where is he?_ Serah would go nuts if they couldn't find him. A second spell - Ruinga, lit up the cave again, and he glanced at Lightning - but her left hand wasn't raised.

"Come on, let's move!" Her hiss to his right snapped him into action. She was pulling Serah along with her, and Hope sent an arbitrary Aeroga behind them, aiming to stop potential pursuers. As they drew nearer to the far side of the cave, he began to hear thumps. A hiss of frustration from Lightning confirmed it.

"Snow, you uneducated moron!" But she didn't give him the time to reply before she pushed Serah to him; turning around, Hope could see she had her weapon ready. She looked okay - hopefully that meant his Cura had gotten to her in time. _But.._. _it's not like she hasn't hidden injuries from us before._ The big man gave his still dripping wife a quick hug before he moved up to join Lightning.

"Sis-" But she cut him off.

"Quiet." Several clicks in the distance, and Hope knew that weapons were once again trained on them. He pulled Nue out, readying it before him. _How many are left...?_ Lightning and Odin had taken out many of them, he knew that, but there were the snipers in the corner that the spells hadn't gotten and who knew how many were still on their feet? "Delta Attack," he heard her hiss into the darkness. Hope readied himself to cast a spell.

Several gunshots echoed through the cave as Hope let the Thundaga crash into the ground. Snow was crouched before them, fists crossed. And then the entire roof of the cavern began to crumble, and he only heard Lightning manage one more command before dirt and stone crowded every sense that he owned.

"Combat Clinic!" Hope directed several Cure spells in her way and Snow's - hopefully that would be enough before the earthen elements ate them where they stood.

* * *

><p>Snow coughed, retching at the dirt and stone dust that filled his lungs. <em>Gross. Did Sis really have to command a cave in? <em>He'd thrown himself over Serah at the last moment when she'd commanded the Combat Clinic. Luckily, they seemed to be okay - his limbs seemed to be attached to his body and he could feel Serah clinging tightly to his shirt. Roughly pushing off the slab of earth that had settled across his back, Snow found himself looking up at the clear night sky.

"Snow?" Serah's quiet voice sounded beside him - he'd pulled her up when he'd gotten up himself. "Are you okay?" He brushed aside the wet clods of soil that had settled in her pink hair.

"Course I am," he scoffed playfully. "Heroes never die."

He turned at the sound of a rough cough to his left - Lightning was brushing dirt off her uniform and weapon. She looked a little worse for wear, several bruises colouring her arms and lower leg, but she seemed otherwise unhurt. Hope's platinum hair was dusted with earth, and he was clutching his side, apparently out of breath.

"Is everyone okay?" Lightning's voice was a hoarse rasp - she was still coughing.

"Think so." He saw her glare at him, before her expression softened at the sight of Serah clinging to his shirt. _Heh._

A slow scrape of metal on metal made him turn - a hooded figure with a scythe was advancing slowly in the wake of the collapsed roof of the ceiling. Footsteps came from behind him as Lightning made her way to his side, Hope just half a pace behind her.

"Clever, aren't we?" The hairs on the back of Snow's neck stood up when the voice reached his ears. Guttural and rasping, it didn't sound human. There was little to no emotion in the words, only the hint of dry amusement. "Collapsing the cave roof to weed out the rest of the enemies... I expected little less from the l'Cie that defeated Orphan. But your time ends here... and now. Yorun only needs one of you, and _I _get to pick... And who better to chose than the l'Cie who so clearly owns an Eidolon?" He heard Lightning's growl of contempt from beside him.

The scythe's blade gleamed in the moonlight that streamed down from the sky as it was raised. He felt Lightning spring away from him and Hope as they spread out. Snow fingered the brand on his arm, before pushing Serah behind him.

"Stay there," he whispered to her, lingering a hand on her hair once more. Focusing his eyes on the figure again, he heard a small hoarse laugh coming from where its mouth should have been. It was a little unnerving to know that he couldn't see the man's face. _How can he fight with that cloak on?_

Lightning was across from him, several yards away. Her cerulean eyes were narrowed with concentration and he realized she was waiting for the enemy to make the first move. She was tense, ready to spring, when the scythe blade flashed towards Hope, the smallest of them.

"Relentless Assault!" Her voice cut through the silence and Snow moved into position for an Aquastrike. Lightning had slashed the omega weapon in the direction of the enemy, forcing him away from Hope. The small stumble was enough for Snow to land the Aquastrike in the man's back, but it wasn't enough. The man merely danced away from him and towards her this time. Snow sent a Blizzaga in his direction the same moment Hope cast a Firaga. Unfazed, the man swung his scythe at Lightning, who rolled away and sent her own Ruin in his direction. She met his scythe with her weapon as it swung back, and her sharp glance at him told him what she wanted.

Snow directed the Watera at the man's back as Hope sent the Aeroga just a heartbeat later; finally, Snow saw the man stagger.

"Aggression!" He didn't hesitate before launching himself at the man, fists raised. Lightning had beat him to it, and he watched her mercilessly slash at the figure she'd launched into the air, her eyes impassive. Snow sent another uppercut at the figure, knocking the scythe away from his hands - it clattered noisily to the stone floor. His third punch met thin air, or rather, black smoke, and he landed on the ground again, breathing hard. Lightning landed next to him, her normally pale face slightly flushed. He saw her wipe away sweat from her forehead and rake her hands through her pink hair, putting away the weapon.

"Did we get all of them?" Hope asked, his voice tentative.

"I think so." He went over to ruffle his hair. "Not bad, kid. Nice to see you and your spells again." The platinum haired teenager giggled.

"Thanks."

Snow stretched his arms tiredly - it had been a long night, and although the rush of l'Cie power from the lake had been invigorating, he was beginning to feel the first faint stirs of fatigue. He turned to look for Serah, only to see that Lightning had gotten there first, and was holding her by the shoulders. One of her hands was gripping the place on her arm where Snow knew the brand was.

"Serah, what happened? How did...?"

He watched his wife gently brush her sister's hands off of her. "Claire..." But the look in Lightning's eyes was hard.

"Tell me." Her voice was held a slightly dangerous tone in it - Snow was reminded of the way she usually spoke to him.

"I don't really know... the weapon fired and the floor cracked... We all fell in, and the moment the water touched where the brand was... it came back." Serah's voice trailed off, and Snow went to stand beside her, pulling her into an embrace, earning himself a disapproving glare from Lightning.

"Hey Sis... calm down." But his words only seemed to fuel her frustration, and he could almost see it in her eyes. _She's going to feel guilty again, isn't she? About how she couldn't protect us, about how she couldn't keep us from becoming l'Cie._ "You know Sis, technically we were never _not_ l'Cie during this time... no need to look so mad, okay?"

"Shut up, Snow." And from her voice Snow could tell he'd hit a nerve.

"Sis, honestly, don't freak. It was bound to happen, and you know it." She glared at him for another few heartbeats before she let out a sigh, turning away, huffing. Snow felt someone poke him in the back, and he turned around to Hope's curious green gaze.

"Hey, Serah?" His voice held a the faintest touch of amusement. Snow felt the pink head that was resting on his shoulder turn towards the teenager. "Have you tried... you know, using l'Cie powers yet?"

Serah detached herself from him, and Snow saw with a rush of relief the curiosity that flooded her eyes. "No..." But her voice held a touch of wonder in it as well.

"Well, d'you want to try? I think we could all give you a few lessons, and depending on what you major in, we could help you." Footsteps behind him told Snow Lightning had made her way over to them, and he cast a hesitant glance in her direction, hoping he wouldn't find anger in her steely blue eyes. But instead, he found the smallest hint of warmth as she watched her sister and Hope.

Snow allowed himself a smile too - feeling a rush of confidence that he could help Serah learn to fight, that he could help her overcome her worst fear in this journey - that she'd be useless to them all.

_And when you look at things this way, our lives back in New Bodhum, our lives back in peace... They don't look like they were ten thousand lifetimes away._

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><p><strong>Whew. A very, <em>very<em> action heavy chapter. I enjoyed writing it though, and I tried to work in as many combat elements from XIII as possible, including the Paradigm Shifts. I'll have to go look up the names of the other paradigm decks though - I don't think I've used all of them in my various playthroughs. I hope the "Delta Attack" one was right - I was going for COM RAV SEN, I hope that was the right name for said role.**

**Anyways, I haven't revealed Serah's roles yet (though I've decided on them), so feel free to guess what three they are! Correct guesses gets you a special shoutout! 8D**

**Leave love as always in reviews, and I will see you guys tomorrow!**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	21. Resplendent

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3**

**First and foremost, I would like to thank _all_ my readers: NR hit 5K hits yesterday afternoon, and you guys really know how to make a girl smile. 8D And thanks to all my reviewers: GCFarron, OscarMerrinoz96, ziel101, and Mylaervain! You guys are awesome (but you knew that already).**

**As for Serah's roles, most of you guys were close - nailing my intentions of having her as not really an attacker on the nose. No one got the _exact_ combo of the three roles right, but the shoutout goes to GCFarron for getting 2/3! *clap* Anyways, they'll be revealed in the chapter, so... yeah. xD**

**Also featured in this chapter are two appearances I've personally been waiting for for a _very_ long time - it was long overdue, and I hope you guys think I got it right! Enjoy as always, my lovelies! **

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><p><span>Chapter 21: Resplendent <span>

The flash of a bird's wing caught Lightning's eye in the bright sunlight. Glancing up towards the pristine blue sky, she shielded her hand from the bright sunlight. They had been lucky to get out of the cavern after defeating the enemies after them the previous night, and Hope had found a small dip in the mountain range that bordered the ravine they had walked in. She could see Snow and Serah giggling over something a dozen or so feet below her - Snow was trying to teach her sister how to cast spells and Hope had joined in.

She didn't feel like joining in, though. Wrapping slender arms over her knees, Lightning stared off at the horizon as her thoughts wandered back to the moment she'd seen the white l'Cie brand on Hope's wrist, and the utter terror of the several heartbeats as she tried to take it in.

_Maker... What I wouldn't do to undo everything that has been done. _

Lightning found herself clenching the fingers of her left hand hard onto her other hand, sharp nails digging into the glove. She tried to take a few breaths to calm her shaky, erratic breathing, but she couldn't. No matter how hard she tried to run - or hide, for that matter, she couldn't deny that _she_ had had a direct hand in their becoming a l'Cie again. _And whether or not it was inevitable_... _I won't ever know; but it really doesn't matter, because..._

"Because it's still my fault." Her own whispered response to her statement sounded as pathetic as she felt. Her nails dug into her scalp as she gripped her head; the pain was a welcome intrusion to the dull wasteland she felt inside. _It doesn't matter what they say... whatever happens from now on is my fault, and everything to do with this... is _my_ responsibility_. A hoarse, choked sound ripped its way from her back, and she moved her other hand over her mouth - Serah and Hope didn't need to see or hear her like this.

Slim fingers found the one thing she thought would make her feel better - her omega weapon. She gripped its cool steel handle, fingers digging hard into its smoother surface. Clinging to it felt like her only hook to reality, the only thing reminding her where she was. Lightning tried to remember her soldier training.

_"Don't let emotions take control. Let go of the pain: pain only distracts you if you let it..."_

_Fuck, I can't do this!  
><em>

A frustrated cry escaped her lips, and try as she might, she couldn't contain it. Her hand moved to the ground, gripping the solid earth, trying to find solace in the rough grains of sand grinding beneath her smooth skin. And Lightning realized she couldn't. No matter how hard she tried, she knew she would never be able to detach that one moment from herself.

"You might as well accept it, you know." Snow. How the hell he had managed to sneak up on her, she didn't know. But it was obvious he knew what she was going though at the moment - she tried to fix him with a glare, but the moment her eyes traveled over the white mark on his arm, Lightning felt her resolve melt away like fog on a sunny day.

"No one asked you to come up here and bother me," she snapped back, trying to keep her voice steady.

"No one did," he conceded smugly, eying her with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "But you looked like you needed a little cheering up, and I assumed that you wouldn't want Serah or Hope to know, eh?" She let out an irritated sigh, rolling her eyes at the big man just behind her.

"So, Sis, you wanna talk?" Lightning turned her head away from him, bringing her chin to her knees. She heard him sigh behind her. "Fine. Since you don't want to talk, _I'll_ talk." She knew she should probably chase him away before he said something that cracked her delicate mental state at the moment, but she found that she was reluctant to. _Maybe it's because... I want to hear it..._

"Look, Lightning. Everyone knows how you feel, and we all know we can't stop you from feeling that way. And heck, we don't want you to. It feels great to be cared about by someone, hm? But there's a limit to that, and I know you know it. You can't watch over Serah and Hope forever, they'll grow up one day and they'll make their own choices, protect themselves."

"Yeah? Like how Serah went behind my back to marry you?" she muttered darkly under her breath. She heard him laugh.

"Exactly, Sis. So don't go around with that martyr attitude you've worn for the past coupla days, aight? Serah told me you got shot yesterday protecting her. Heck, Sis, you know what you put _her_ through when you get hurt? Lemme tell you, since you don't seem to know: it hurts her too. And that goes for the kid as well."

"Snow... shut up." But there wasn't any force behind her words and he knew it. He was laughing again, and Lightning wanted to cover her ears with her hands. _Maker, he sounds exactly like the smug, uneducated moron he is._

"Sis, I think I speak for all of us when I say we don't want you blaming yourself, kay? We want to see you smile... Why don't you start practicing now?" But Snow didn't get to finish, because Lightning had moved her fist to his throat.

"I get it, okay? So go away and make yourself useful before I punch you." He only laughed again as he moved her fist to the side, before dropping her hand completely and dancing like an idiot out of her reach. She watched him jump down the few rock ledges to join Serah, who had bounded over happily to hug him. As much as she didn't want to admit it, Snow had made an impact on her. She let out a snort before picking her way over to the ledge he'd used to get down.

_Being cheered up by that idiot. I must be getting soft._

* * *

><p>Serah danced over to her older sister, twining her own fingers with Lightning's gloved ones. "Claire!" She felt her sister gently give her an embrace - there were faint dark circles under her turquoise eyes, but she looked happier. Serah felt her heart lift a little.<p>

"Hey." Lightning's voice was a little flat, like she was struggling to keep her emotions in check, but Serah didn't pry - Claire would tell her when she was ready, and she knew only too well that asking before she was ready would result in an outburst.

"Light, wanna help?" Hope's excited voice peeped up behind them. "I'm fairly sure Serah can fight as a Ravager - she's really gotten the hang of some of the elemental spells, and I _think_ she might have cast a Bravery and a Faith earlier, but I don't know about the rest..." She watched Lightning raise an eyebrow at him, before giving a barely audible sigh.

"Alright... What do you want me to do?" Serah giggled at the mock pained expression on her face.

"Stand there and pretend to attack me, of course." She heard her sister snort.

"_Right._ Because _pretending_ to attack is so going to put the pressure on to do better." She shrugged. "Whatever makes you happy." Walking several yards away, Lightning pulled the omega weapon from its holster, and stood there with it in her hand.

"Sis, at least make yourself _look_ threatening." Serah watched Lightning throw a glare at Snow. "Honestly, you look like we forced you to do this." At Snow's words, Serah saw her mutter something under her breath, and she giggled, knowing exactly what she was thinking. _Oh Claire, you're so predictable sometimes._ But then she gave a resigned sigh, and raised her weapon to attack position.

Serah focussed her eyes on her sister, trying again to summon the power in her brand. It wasn't easy for her yet, and she tried to remember Hope's words.

_Let the magic envelope you. Direct it. You can only control it if you are in control of yourself._

"Attack her," she heard Hope whisper to Lightning. Lightning pointed the tip of the blade at her, and began moving forward slowly. Serah squeezed her eyes tight, and tried again to summon from the well of magic she could touch inside her.

The burst of flame left her fingertips, but her aim was off - her sister dodged it easily without moving more than a foot or so. But Lightning was fast, and for the first time, Serah truly appreciated how deadly her sister looked in battle. There was a threatening glare in her icy blue eyes that wasn't there when she wasn't fighting, even when she was angry. _Claire... actually looks scary._

But she tried to focus on the battle - she knew her sister was fast and there had to be some way to slow her down. _And maybe make myself faster so I can keep up?_ Putting her attention on the lithe movements of Lightning, who was now barely ten feet away from her, Serah tried to summon the Water spell she'd done earlier.

What left her hand though, wasn't a ball of water. She heard her sister hiss in surprise, and an appreciative hoot from Snow. Her sister had sank to her knee, surprise clear in her eyes.

Hope's intrigued voice came from behind her. "I didn't know you could cast Slow." She giggled as he sent a spell at Lightning, who stood up, brushing off the dust on her skin.

"I didn't know either... Was that really a spell?"

"Uh huh. I don't think any of us can help you with mastering those spells though." A distant look entered Hope's eyes. "Fang and Vanille were the only ones who could use the Saboteur role, and well, they're gone..." His voice trailed off, and she watched the same look enter her sister's eyes.

"Well, that doesn't matter now." Snow's firm voice came from behind her and she relaxed against his warm arm across her shoulder. "All of us will help you, baby, and I know Sis for one is willing to help you practice. Hope can give you instructions on your Synergist spells, and we can _all_ help you with casting offensive magic."

She snuggled against him again, ignoring Lightning's frosty look in their direction.

"I know it. Thank you, Snow."

_Thank you... everyone._

* * *

><p><em>She was at the bottom of Cocoon's curve, the faint moonlight reflecting off the sparkling crystal. Crickets chirped in the Gran Pulse spring, and she tucked a strand of pink hair behind her ear. For some reason, she felt like she was missing something, something important, and yet her entire being felt lighter than the dandelion fluff that grew in the hills.<em>

_Lightning hadn't felt this relaxed since she could remember, like an everbearing weight had been removed from her shoulders. Bending down, she cupped her slim fingers to a white flower that was spotted with dewdrops, taking a moment to admire its beauty. For some reason, looking at it made her feel like she was being embraced._

_"That's a nice one, hun." Shock froze her to the spot for a few moments, fingers brushing the delicate white petals. She didn't dare turn around, not sure that if she did, the entire setting would vanish before her._

_"You know, looking at people talking to you is generally considered the polite thing to do. Don't kneel there like an idiot, Light. You're a grown woman."_

_She reached behind her for her weapon, gripping it tightly in one hand, before slowly pulling herself to her feet and pivoting on the spot. She'd recognize the dark grey hair and orange pigtails anywhere._

_"Why are you - Why am I here?" she stammered, resisting the urge to rub her eyes. Maybe the lack of decent sleep was getting to her._

_"Ha! I don't know, Light, you tell me why you're here." Fang's voice was as haughty as ever as she looked at her with amusement filled eyes, while Vanille giggled, settling herself on a rock. Lightning tried to fix the Oerban with a glare, but she couldn't do it._

_As if the woman had sensed her hesitation, Fang strode forward a few steps. "You looked a little indecisive, _so_ unlike your usual self, so we decided to drop by for a little visit." The Oerban clapped her hard on the back, and she winced - she'd forgotten how strong Fang was. "Things are boring when all you have to do in crystal stasis is dream away, so... hm?"_

_"I still don't know why you're here." She crossed her arms over her chest, looking angrily at the knowing looks Fang and Vanille were exchanging. They were looking at her like she was a child who couldn't see why she had gotten in trouble. Tapping her foot impatiently, she just waited for an explanation._

_"Alright, alright... Honestly, Light, you're so demanding it's no wonder Snow ticks you off like he does." Fang moved up to her and poked her in the chest. "You want me to cut the crap? Well, here it is, short and sweet: Light, you're biting off more than you can chew."_

_For some reason, the words rubbed her the wrong way – it hurt her in a way that hardly anyone, let alone Fang, could._

_"I don't know what you're talking about," she snapped back. The woman just raised her eyebrows expectantly though, looking at her disbelievingly under hooded eyes. Soft footsteps crunching grass brought Vanille to her side, as the girl rested her hands on Lightning's shoulders._

_"You are. Your sister and friends care about you. Don't push yourself over the edge trying to make things right that weren't your fault in the first place." A brief hug before Vanille let go, looking at her with honest, expressing eyes. _

_"That's right. And remember, we'll be watching." Fang smirked over her shoulder as they walked away._

_"Wait-!" Lightning reached out a hand; there was so much she wanted to ask, but the two Oerbans were gone, leaving behind the chirping of the crickets and the soft whistle of the breeze in the long grass._

* * *

><p>Lightning shook her head as she held a hand up to it, gripping the pink hair at her temples. <em>I had a dream... right? And Fang and Vanille were there... They told me to stop worrying about everyone. <em>She let out a snort of disbelief. _Yeah, right._ The sky was still dark, but a pink tinge was beginning to appear over the top of the mountain range, and dawn couldn't be far away. It was light enough to see the large figure slumped by a tree, snoring. It was holding Serah to it, one hand in her pale pink hair.

Feeling rage eat away her other misgivings, Lightning stalked her way to the big form, curling her fingers into a fist. Snow just really didn't-

_Smack._ Her fist landed right in his jaw, and she drew the fingers back, cracking the knuckles with the other hand, preparing to throw another punch. Snow jerked awake, rubbing his jaw before a scared look entered his eyes. He seemed to deflate before her furious expression, shrinking back against the bark.

"You... fucking _retard_!" Words failed her as Lightning tried to control her anger, but the more she tried to rein in the words that she wanted to screech into the silent morning air, the more her rage choked her. "What the _fuck_ do you think you were doing, sleeping on watch?" Unlatching her omega weapon, she jabbed his chest with it, poking the engagement necklace that dangled from his neck. "We all could have been killed! What kind of _idiotic moron_ does this?"

Not bothering to wait for a reply, Lightning brought her other hand into a fist and held it inches from his face. _"Well?_"

Snow gently put his larger hand over her gloved one, and inched her fist aside. "Sis, I-I'm sorry! I swear..." She wasn't moved by his eager to please face. Lowering her weapon - Serah was looking at her with scared eyes - she let out an irritated groan at the sight of his expression. She had no intention of scaring Serah though, and if she actually hurt Snow, Lightning knew Serah probably wouldn't forgive her. Fixing her furious blue eyes on him again, she watched him squirm uncomfortably under her gaze.

"You," she snarled, putting as much venom in her voice as possible. "You will _never_ sleep on watch again. Or I will personally throw you off a cliff, understood?" She crossed her arms before turning around - it was a rhetorical question and she didn't need it answered. If he was stupid enough to answer it, well... _That just proves my point._

Lightning stalked away from her sister and Snow; a brief smile touching her lips when she saw him rubbing his jaw, and Serah patting his shoulder. She'd woken Hope up with her tirade, but she really didn't care at the moment - Snow could have gotten them all killed. Flipping her omega weapon to gun mode, she strode into the patch of forest just at the edge of the current mountain range they were on. She wasn't as quiet as she usually was, her thoughts still on Snow, and she had to take several calming breaths before fully turning her attention to the forest.

A leaf scrunched under her boot, and she cursed quietly - if she wanted some edible wildlife to shoot she would have to be quieter than that. Pressing each foot on the ground carefully, Lightning scanned the trees above her head, carefully picking a spot to wait. Slow minutes ticked by, and she began to feel beads of sweat form on her back - but she held still, making sure her breathing was miniscule. Finally, the flash of a pink wing flicked by in her peripheral vision, and she buried a bullet in its eye. She was rewarded with a flutter of pink feathers as the bird plummeted down from the branches. A warning shriek caused a storm of flapping and a cascade of feathers above her head, but it didn't matter - the bird whose talons she was now clutching was more than enough for breakfast.

Picking her way slowly through the scrubby woods, her thoughts now free to wander back to Snow, she didn't notice the dip in the ground to her left, and her ankle twisted in the dead leaves.

"Shit!" The sudden flash of pain caused her to trip, and she clutched the dead bird to her tightly as she slid ungracefully down a small incline. Muttering a cure spell, she watched the magic wipe away the small wounds her unfortunate misstep had led to. But she was now stuck on a large ridge like jut from the mountainside, and there was no way she could climb up easily clutching her dead bird. _Fuck... I blame Snow_, she thought furiously.

Lightning looked up - the top of the ridge was well above her head, and her voice wouldn't travel easily - she doubted they could hear her even if she shouted. And there was no way she was leaving the bird behind, not when she'd scared off every other living bit of prey in a two mile radius.

Fixing her furious gaze to her other side, something caught her eye on the horizon. The mountain range didn't go on forever in this area of Gran Pulse like she'd originally thought. Beneath the current ridge she was standing on, the ground flattened gradually to rolling hills, and finally, a meadow. Not that it looked peaceful, even from here, her instinct told her that there was something off about the way the landscape settled. An inward shudder passed through her - no, she definitely didn't like the sight of the meadow. _Just looking at it makes me think about the lack of monsters in this area._

But that wasn't what caught her eye. Just past the greenery, she could see brown splotches she was quite sure was a village. And just beyond that, a looming tower that was coloured black even from her vantage point. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of the tower.

_If that's where I think it is, we've found our next destination._

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><p><strong>Haha, I should really break my habit of cliffhangers, shouldn't I?<strong>

**Nothing much to say this time - we started off with a deeper Light & Snow moment that lightened as we went through the chapter, which I really enjoyed writing, by the way. This has to be one of my favourites, I must say. **

**So yes, Serah's powers have been revealed! To rectify, her roles are: Ravager, Saboteur, and Synergist. I don't really see Serah as an attacking character, but she shouldn't be defenceless! xD So now this means our heroes can now use every single role in combat! *wiggles fingers***

**Anyways, leave love as usual in the reviews, and I will see you all tomorrow!**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	22. Sinking Truth

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3**

**A big thank you to my reviewers:** **GCFarron, OscarMerrinoz96, SquallRocks, and Mylaervain! You guys rock.**

**To GCFarron: Of _course_ you can draw something spun off of this fic, I'd _love_ to see it! 8D**

**And, Mylaervain, how I update so often and such? Well, most of my inspirations come from my intense love for the XIII characters and my desire to improve my writing and to make you guys happy! xD While most of the main plot points are already planned, I do most of my thinking/plotting as I write, and well, I tend to write a lot - during boring classes when I don't want to listen to the prof, etc, haha! I live pretty close to my university so yeah. n_n**

**Moving on, several developments coming up, and enjoy as usual!**

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><p><span>Chapter 22: Sinking Truth<span>

Snow crashed through the undergrowth, the early morning sun hot on the back of his neck. Twigs snapped under his foot as he roughly pushed aside brambles, trying to peer through the thick foliage. Lightning had been angry at him this morning, true, but it wasn't like her to disappear for over an hour. _Sis... you didn't ditch us, did you?  
><em>

A small tug at his sleeve made him look down to Serah's heart shaped face, drawn with worry. "Snow... Claire didn't run off, did she? She wasn't _that_ mad... right?" He ruffled her hair, chuckling, but there was no life in the small laugh.

"No, don't worry, baby, Sis is fine, you'll see. She's probably just still fuming." He rubbed his jaw again, wincing when his fingers brushed the swelling bruise she left on his face. _And she sure knows how to pack a punch... My face will be purple for a week._

A small scuffle ahead of him made him tense in relief, but then he caught a glimpse of Hope's silver hair in the sunlight. _It's just the kid. _A sharp pain stabbed his foot as he stubbed it on a rock - clearly, he hadn't been watching the forest floor, and he cursed under his breath. A flash of pink caught his eye, and he rushed forwards, leaving a surprised Serah to stumble after him.

Snow charged into the clearing, his heart plummeting when he saw it was just a long pink feather caught on a rock. _Wait... Just one pink feather?_ No, the entire clearing was littered with pink feathers, and his shoe kicked something shiny - looking down, he saw it was a bullet shell. A leap of excitement jumped in his chest - Lightning had been here, and she'd gotten a kill. If the feathers were still around, it couldn't have been that long ago.

"She's been here!" It was Hope, and he'd clearly come to the same conclusion as he had. "Light! Where are you?" His shout was swallowed by the budding trees and the occasional distant screech of wildlife. But to Snow's surprise, he heard someone yell back.

"Hope?" It was definitely Lightning, and she didn't sound too far away. Casting one glance at the relieved faces of Hope and Serah, he followed them into the woods again, heading in the direction of her voice.

"Sis? Wanna tell us where you are?" His voice was being carried by the breeze that was stronger - he guessed they must be nearing the cliff edge. His foot hit a lower spot, and he quickly pulled it back as it sent a shower of dirt down an incline.

"If you stopped raining dirt in my hair, you'd notice I'm right beneath you." Her snappish response _did_ seem to be coming beneath him, and he looked down. Lightning was standing on a small jut in the steep cliffside, one hand holding a dead bird that she'd obviously shot, and she did not look amused at the brown smattering of dust in her hair.

"Ha, how'd you get down there, Sis?" She responded with an icy glare.

"How about you get me out of here before I explain?" She held up the dead bird, clearly expecting him to take it - when he hesitated, she let out a snort. "Clearly you don't want the breakfast I worked so hard for. Fine, Snow, you can hunt for yourself next time." He plucked the pink body from her fingers, grunting when he felt its weight. _This isn't just breakfast, this is lunch and dinner for the next couple of days. _He handed it to Serah, who gripped it by its talons and held it several inches away from her. Snow flattened himself onto his stomach, reaching a hand down to Lightning. He felt her steel grip close on his fingers, and he hauled backwards. _Man... for someone who has as much athleticism as Sis, she's heavy._

Several minutes later, Lightning was kneeling at the edge of the cliff, a very dirty expression on her face when she glared at him.

"So, Light? How _did_ you get down there?" Hope's voice was a little tentative - he knew Lightning wasn't in a good mood. She shot him a frosty look before letting out a huff.

"I fell. Isn't that obvious?" She crossed her arms over her chest. "But that's not important, because look what I found." Snow followed the finger that she pointed into the distance, and his eyes landed on a black spire. It looked like a tower, but from this far away he couldn't be sure.

"Uh, Sis? What's that?" He heard her sigh impatiently as she whipped out the map from the pack on her thigh. She jabbed a long, slim finger into a spot on the page, the place that had a red ink circle drawn messily on it. The tiny label underneath it read _Demonsoul Tower._ Not making the connection, he shot a glance at Hope, who shrugged, looking equally clueless. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lightning roll her eyes.

"Tch, why is it always me who does all the research?"

"Well, Sis, we all know you're better than the rest of us at that stuff, okay?" He honeyed his words, hoping to mollify her. He saw her hardened expression soften into something that resembled amusement, and she relaxed her pose. _Serah was right when she said you had a soft heart, wasn't she? _

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><p>Serah watched her sister expertly pluck the feathers from the bird, pale fingers moving quickly to strip the down from its body. She'd taken her gloves off, and Serah watched the movement of her slender wrists as she pulled the feathers. Mere minutes had passed before Lightning reached for her survival knife, flicking open the blade before deftly beheading the bird and slitting open its stomach, pulling out its entrails.<p>

Her sister dropped the head, tail and innards of the bird under a rock, before going over to a shallow stream she'd found to wash her hands. Gently picking up the now plucked bird, Serah speared it onto a long stick before setting it over a fire she'd proudly conjured herself. Sitting back, she watched the bird cook. Hope sat down with a soft thump beside her, also watching the bird roast over the fire. She could tell he wasn't really paying attention to it though, and she gently elbowed him.

"Hey. Is something wrong?" He turned his sea green eyes on her, smiling a little.

"No, well... I heard from Snow. So Light was really mad this morning?" Serah giggled, finding that she could laugh about it.

"Yeah, Snow fell asleep on watch, and Claire woke up. She saw him I guess, and she punched him for falling asleep. And... oh yeah, she threatened to throw him off a cliff if he did it again."

When he didn't reply, Serah looked at him curiously. "Why? Is something wrong?" He looked up, startled.

"Oh, no. Just... wondering, if _I_ fell asleep, what would she threaten me with?" Serah giggled again.

"Well, she likes you better than Snow, so... probably something less extreme." She watched his gloved hands tighten around his knees - Hope seemed to be at a loss for words, green eyes troubled. She saw him fiddle with the teal scarf around his neck.

"Does she? I mean, like me better than Snow?" Serah allowed a soft smile to spread on her lips.

"She probably likes _everyone_ better than Snow," she replied playfully before getting up to call Snow to eat. She cast another glance back at Hope, who was still sitting by the flickering flames, eyes lost in thought.

_You really care about Claire, don't you? I've seen the way you look at her: protective... almost _possessive _in a way. Like you're the one fighting to protect her, and not the other way around. Oh Hope... I really count on you being the one to open her up, to turn her back into the Claire I grew up with, and not the Lightning that she became._

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><p>Lightning picked her way carefully down the mountain, looking where she placed her feet. It wouldn't do to twist her ankle the way she'd done this morning - she was painfully aware of the fact that she'd gotten lucky this morning; if she'd slipped anywhere else, she'd have fallen down a steep drop that not even her l'Cie magic would be able to fix the wounds she would have no doubt received from it. She heard Snow and Serah giggle happily about something behind her. <em>I really hope that idiotic retard is keeping an eye out where he steps... I don't really care if <em>he _falls, but if Serah falls..._

Kicking aside a patch of thistles, she watched the purple puffs drift away in the breeze. She fixed her eyes on the tower that was now in her line of view without looking down. _Demonsoul Tower... I don't know why they circled it on the map, but it must be important if they marked it._ The rocky ground was beginning to flatten out into the hills, and Lightning let her thoughts wander back into the night at the cave.

They'd mentioned the name Yorun. She didn't know who he was, and if she was honest with herself, she didn't _care_ who it was. From Hope, she'd heard that Larcell had died too easily, died with a laugh on his lips. _That bastard..._ But it was obvious their assault on the Oerba Ruins hadn't changed anything - as far as she was concerned they were still the ones pulling the strings. _And we could very well be playing right into their dirty hands... They were waiting for us at the Farseer Initiation Cave, after all. _Lightning found herself gritting her teeth in frustration; it seemed that the further they walked, the more questions that went unanswered.

"Light?" Hope's voice sounded a little tentative.

"Mmhmm?" She didn't bother turning around, keeping an eye out in front of them - this was a bad place for a monster attack: one misstep and they'd be tumbling to their dooms.

"What do you think we'll find? I mean, when we get there?" She shrugged, keeping her hand on her weapon.

"To be honest, Hope, I just want to get to the bottom of this whole mess." A flash of black moved in the corner of her eye, and she stopped abruptly, causing Hope to bump awkwardly into her back. Slowly, she drew her gunblade, trying to squint into the shadows that were still present in the clumps of trees that clustered at the edge of the hills, straining to see through the thick foliage.

"What is it?" Hope's hiss came from behind her back - she could feel his elbow against her side.

"Saw something. Tell Snow and Serah-" But she didn't get to finish before a weapon fired, crumbling the rocks under her feet. They weren't yet off the rocky trail that led to the hilly area, and Lightning felt herself slip, left hand flailing desperately to catch something, _anything_ that would stop them from falling thirty feet down.

Her gloved fingers found a rocky crevice, and she gripped onto it, steeling her fingers for the hold. There was no way she was letting go of her weapon, but there also wasn't a way to climb up with one hand... especially with Hope clinging to her lower leg. She grunted when she found that she was supporting both their weights with one arm - she was going to dislocate it soon if they didn't think of something.

Serah's shrieks were somewhere above her head, and she hoped to the Maker that Snow had the sense to keep her safe. Something grazed her shoulder, and she'd been in too many fights not to know what it was. She pictured how they would look to an enemy: two slender figures unable to even move their hands to attack, dangling precariously from a thirty foot high cliff. Lightning ground her teeth in frustration, letting a low growl escape from her lips at the thought.

_And are we sitting ducks out here. Fuck.  
><em>

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><p>Serah let loose a shriek when she saw the rock collapse under her sister and Hope. Snow's hand immediately covered her mouth, and it was only after a few moments of desperate struggling before she realized that she was giving away their general location. She felt Snow tense, pulling her roughly beside him, before she followed his gaze - there were five black figures emerging from the cluster of trees to their right and one of them held the bazooka. She glanced anxiously at the edge of the newly created cliff - even she knew there was no way Lightning could support both herself and Hope for very long, and a claw of dread raked through her at the thought of them falling.<p>

"Serah, we have to attack! Dualcasting!" Snow's voice came from ahead of her, and she realized he had already charged ahead at the figures. Serah chased after him - Hope had taught her the commands in battle, and she tried to summon from the well of magic inside her. Her first few spells were strong - the Fire had distracted her opponents. She felt a pinprick of surprise when she'd seen that they hadn't been aiming for her, before the realization smacked her in the face. Of course they'd be after her sister and Hope, who were utterly defenceless at the moment.

But she was beginning to feel the first effects of continued casting already - the pounding in her head was starting to begin. Cursing her low well of magic, Serah desperately tried to aim another Aero at one of the assailants. Snow had taken out two, but the one with the bazooka was still on his feet and she _couldn't_ let him get another shot at Claire and Hope.

"Serah, cast Slow! Undermine!" Feeling her reserve of magic beginning to run out, Serah tried to aim the debuff at the remaining enemies. One of them did stop in his tracks, crumpling to the ground, but her spell hadn't been enough to get all three. She flinched as one of them aimed his weapon at her, icy talons raking down her spine, and she closed her eyes, bracing herself for the impact.

_Crack. _The blow didn't come, instead, Serah opened her eyes to the sight of Snow's fist in the man's jaw as he sent him flying. "Divide and Conquer!" Summoning what was left of her shallow magic, Serah tried again to slow down the man with the bazooka. But she didn't make it in time, nor did Snow's fist connect with some part of him before he fired it again. The scream worked its way up her spine.

"_Claire! Hope!_"

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><p>Falling.<p>

That was the one sensation she felt. And for a moment, just the one moment that felt like it lasted both a heartbeat and an eternity, she felt light, before her body slammed into the rough ground and the breath was driven out of her. She heard something crack, but Lightning wasn't yet sure of what that was - her body wasn't registering pain at the moment. Darkness crashed over her like a wave, and desperately, she tried to fight back before rock started raining down on her body. There wasn't even time to worry about Hope - she didn't know where he was; she couldn't even remember if he had let go of her the moment they'd fallen.

She had to give up. There wasn't a way to win against the incoming waves of darkness. Something else pricked her failing consciousness, and a grip closed around her wrist. Too weak to fight back, only one more thought crossed her mind before it was eaten by the shadows.

_Who..._

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><p>Snow punched the man, feeling rage drive his actions as he knocked the weapon away with one gloved fist. The motion of the attack sent the man sprawling on his back against a rough tree trunk, and Snow pulled him up by the shirt. The man was still conscious, hopefully he'd get some answers out of him.<p>

"Who sent you here?" Ripping the mask off the man's face, Snow was greeted by frightened grey eyes begging for mercy.

"Don't kill me, don't kill me, please..." The begging was pathetic, and Snow resisted the urge to slam the man's head onto the trunk.

"_Tell me_ who sent you!" He drove his other fist into the man's throat, partially cutting of his air supply.

"I-I don't know! These people... they came to my village, and then the elder ordered us to attack anyone who came our way..." Snow furrowed his brows at the gasps of the man.

"Who are these people?" He lowered his voice to a growl.

"I-I really... don't know...! They have r-red eyes, and they said-"

Snow cut the man off the moment he heard the phrase _red eyes_. His grip tightened on the man's shirt, and it took all of his control not to snap the man's neck right then and there.

"They said _what?_"

The man looked terrified, and Snow saw the beginning beads of tears in the corners of his eyes. "T-They said we had to bring them the silver haired kid..." Snow didn't need to hear anymore, throwing the man to the ground in frustration. His fingers closed on his gloves. _Of course this is what this is about. They're still after us, and now they've got Lightning as well as Hope.  
><em>

"Fuck!" he yelled out loud, scattering the birds from the nearby trees. He set his eyes on the village they'd agree to travel to, and the tower just beyond it. Kicking aside the unconscious bodies that lay in the dense, scrubby grass, Snow tried to control his temper. _Fuck, fuck, fuck..._

"Snow?" A small, terrified whimper broke into his tirade, and he forced himself to take a deep breath to calm down. Opening his arms, he waited for Serah to walk into them - and she did. He could feel the tears on her face, and gently, he stroked her cheek.

"It'll be okay, baby, come on, we'll save Hope. And Sis. You need to be strong, okay? Just imagine the look on Sis's face when you get her, hm?" Coaxing a small chuckle out of her, despite the situation touched a small smile to his own face. He scratched his stubble beard.

"We'd better get started if we want to get them soon." Snow led the way to the newly created crevice, peering down. He winced the moment he looked into the abyss - it was dark and stone dust still floated lazily in the shafts of sunlight. Trying to find a way down, he frowned - there wasn't a way as far as he could see.

Well, there was _one_ way and that was jumping, but... _Even I know that's a stupid idea._

"Snow? Snow! I found a way down, I think!" Bounding over to his wife, who stood several dozen yards down the rocky ledge - there was really no way across the created ravine now, he followed her finger. There. A series of smaller ledges, not ideal, but better than nothing. A little too far for Serah, but he'd go first.

"Okay, baby, I'll try. And then I'll bring you down too." Ruffling her hair once, Snow carefully lowered himself down. Cursing loudly when his foot slipped on the cool rock, he landed ungracefully on his knees. At least he wasn't hurt. Looking back at Serah's wide, anxious blue eyes, he opened his arms again.

"Come on, baby, jump. I'll catch you if you fall." A shower of stone dust in his face moments later, he was gripping her slim arm, looking down for the next ledge.

Each precarious jump brought them closer to the ground beneath the hills. There were a few tense moments, but finally, Snow landed with a thump on the shaded canyon floor, and Serah landed lightly next to him. His boots crunched the thin flakes of slate, and he cursed again when he stepped into a puddle. _This place is giving me the creeps._

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><p>Serah followed her husband as he led the way through the ravine - they were nearing the place where, theoretically, Claire and Hope should have landed when they fell, when a flash of red cloth in sunlight caught her eye. Freezing, Serah rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't imagining things before running to it, sneakers slipping on the sheets of thin rock that littered the earth.<p>

There was absolutely no doubt it was her sister's cape... and hopefully the rest of her sister.

"Snow, Snow!" Thumps behind her told her he was coming, and Serah began frantically throwing the plates of rock off, hoping to find... There. A tendril of pale pink hair, and she'd seen the sunlight dance on something white. Large hands joined hers, also frantically digging. But for some reason, Lightning didn't seem to be buried deep enough. A cruel thing to think by any standards, but there was something off about the way they'd found her. Not that Serah had time to worry about that at the moment.

Lightning definitely didn't look well. Pink hair plastered to her heart shaped face with blood, Serah noticed a gash on her left temple. The omega weapon was lying several feet away, and Serah bit her lip when she saw the way her sister's left leg was twisted awkwardly underneath her.

"Light?" Snow was shaking her. "Sis, wake up!" But her sister's eyes remained closed, and for the first time since Cocoon's fall, Serah felt the familiar fear nag at her stomach, a fear she hadn't entertained since the night at the Bodhum Fireworks. She felt the despair choke her, as she sank to her knees on the cold stone, hands over her mouth, fighting the impulse to scream.

_Today... I might see my sister die in front of me, while I can only stand here, utterly unable to help her.  
><em>

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><p>Warmth.<p>

Was this dying? No, Hope was fairly certain death was cold... and painless. He didn't remember anything after they'd fallen, didn't know if... _Light!_ Was she okay?

He didn't want to open his eyes, afraid that if he did, he would see her cold, lifeless body lying in front of him. He didn't want to leave the dream state that entertained the fact that she could still be alive. But the burn in the back of his throat eventually forced his emerald eyes to open, to fully register the fact that he felt like he'd been thrown against several monsters and left as bait.

Cold, silver cat eyes stared back at him.

"And how are you today... Hope, is it?"

For some reason, though the words were spoken with a smile, it made him want to literally crawl away and hide. It pierced the most primitive part of him, the part that spoke directly to fear, and Hope wanted to cover his ears with his hands.

_Light... help me!_

His thoughts left his mouth as words, and the moment he uttered them, he regretted it, because the man laughed, and that laugh sent icy claws of disgust and fear down his spine.

"She's not here to help you. In fact, she won't ever be around to help you again. You're all alone."

_Lightning... no!  
><em>

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><p><strong>Cliffhangers again! Haha, I should really stop torturing you guys from now on, but then again, it's fun watching the speculations. xD<br>**

**Nonetheless this was an _interesting_ chapter development to say the least, and you guys will have to wait until tomorrow to see what happens next. *cackles insanely* I think Seymour (from FFX) must be rubbing off on me - I was playing the part where he insists Yuna marry him last night, and urgh... *shudders***

**Anyways, leave love as always in reviews, and I will see you all tomorrow!**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	23. Inner Storm

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3**

**Once again I start off with a huge thanks to my reviewers: ****GCFarron, Mylaervain, ziel101, and OscarMerrinoz96! You guys are amazing, and your love for this fic really inspires me to keep going.**

**I do apologize for the cliffhanger last chapter, ha, it was mean of me. But now you get to find out what happens, so I hope I'll be forgiven. *hides behind a rock* Long chapter ahead, and enjoy as always! (:**

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><p><span>Chapter 23: Inner Storm<span>

_ She was back in Cocoon. Only this time, she was looking at the outside world of Gran Pulse through the crystal shell that enveloped it. Touching the crystal felt nice... It was cold, and it erased the throbbing in her fingers. But she couldn't move, no matter how hard she tried. It was like she was part of the crystal structure itself - still and everlasting. The sounds were muted, and she saw the world through pastel lenses, not quite fully understanding or grasping the concepts of the world outside, but enough. She was losing her grip though; her fingers sliding down the smooth crystal, nails making no mark. No mark that she had ever been there. The world beyond the beautiful amaranthine shell awaited.  
><em>

_Darkness and pain._

_It was cold, like she was lying on a field of ice. However... ice wasn't the word to truly describe it - there was a burning in her lower leg that was something akin to fire, not ice. And the more she thought about it, the more the burning licked away at her. She gritted her teeth - really, she had no idea why she felt so cold. And it was dark. For some reason, she'd always thought ice fields were bright... like the moon. Like the frost coated flowers Serah loved so much in the winter... _Serah_._

_Darkness was eternal, wasn't it? She tried to remember what had happened, but for some reason, that part of her mind wasn't working. Like trying to grasp water in one's hands and having it drip through fingers that could never contain the liquid. Her grip on this reality felt as tight as the water drops she couldn't hold.  
><em>

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><p>Snow tightened his light hold on Lightning - she was feverish, and they needed to reach the village whose lights were now flickering in the darkness; they were getting near. He cast a worried glance behind him; Serah was trailing behind him, hands clasped nervously together.<p>

"Hey baby, you okay?" The pinkette nodded, but he could see her eyes linger on her sister. _Oh baby, I know you're worried, but without Hope, we can't do anything for her at the moment. _He kicked aside the tall fronds of grass in his way - he could have sworn he saw lurking shadows in the corners of his eyes, but nothing approached them. Snow shifted Lightning's weight in his arms uncomfortably - he was getting tired and he was afraid he was going to drop her. One look at her left leg and he shuddered; the one glance was enough to steel his resolve _not _to drop her.

_Maker, I hope Sis is gonna be okay._

"Snow?" The soft, anxious voice came from beside his shoulder and he felt a weight lean against his shoulder gently. "We're almost there... Is Claire okay?" Her sky blue eyes were full of concern. "And Hope..."

Setting Lightning down against a rock for a moment, Snow lifted his tired arms around her shoulders, pulling her slender warmth against his body. "They'll be fine... I promise. Your hero will protect both of them." He felt her lips pull into a drawn smile, despite the current situation. Gently, he bent down and pressed his lips to her neck - the brief touch of their skin sent tingles down his spine. At first, she flinched against him, not sure how to respond to the sudden rush of affection from him. But her hands slowly wrapped around his neck, and their lips met.

He could _feel_ her smile against his, and breaking away from the delicate contact, he pulled her to him again. "Everything will be okay. You'll see."

Picking up Lightning's limp body again, he felt her shallow breathing against his neck. Setting his eyes straight ahead of him again, Snow picked up the pace slightly - the village gate was less than a hundred yards away from them now, and he knew that _he _could use a good rest - it had been a long day.

_And that's making a very long story short._

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><p>A poke in his back made Hope stumble. Scowling slightly at the fact that he was being treated like some pet puppy, Hope refused to touch the inner part of him that dealt with emotions, refused to entertain the thought that Lightning was... <em>No! She's not. She would never...!<em> Keeping his right hand over his left wrist, he resisted the urge to cast magic at the two guards poking him along on the moonlit, outdoor hallway.

_I need to find out more before I attempt to escape. I don't even know where I am right now._ Under the pretense of keeping his head straight, Hope cast a sideways glance at the outdoors revealed by the hallway. At first, he couldn't recognize anything: they were on some elevated platform in some sort of building that overlooked a wall that separated it from a village. He narrowed his emerald eyes - something wasn't right.

It wasn't that he didn't expect guards on the wall - he didn't expect so _many_. _Like... they're __trying to keep the villagers out of this building. And why... would anyone want that?_ It didn't make sense. His right hand itched, and he was painfully reminded that they'd relieved him of Nue.

But thinking about an escape strategy, channeling his rage distracted him well. _Light..._ He didn't want to think about her, didn't want to know what had happened. _Hope, just concentrate on what you have to do. You can worry about... _that_... later. _Pushing any thoughts of her to the back of his mind, he struggled to calm the breathing that had become a little erratic - he couldn't panic and break down now.

"Walk faster, kid." The weapon poked his back, harder this time. "Yorun wants to discuss things with you... and a friend."

"Alright, alright, I get it..." he muttered under his breath. _And who is this 'friend' they're talking about?_

Hope tightened his gloved hands into fists.

_I think I'm about to find out._

* * *

><p>Too soon for her liking, dark faded to light, and Lightning was forced to open her eyes and leave the comfortable dreams of her unconsciousness. It took away the blissful feeling of painlessness with it, and she was forced to acknowledge the dull throbbing in her leg. And it was hot - too hot to feel comfortable. A moan escaped her lips as she opened her eyes to a soft orange light.<p>

A rustle sounded close to her right ear, and the cool touch of smooth skin brushed her forehead. For a moment, she wanted to curl up and just live in that one heartbeat forever - it made her feel safe.

"Claire? Are you okay?" It was Serah. Turning her head and raising a hand to block the light that felt a little harsh after the blissful darkness, she was struck by the nausea and dizziness that the simple gestures created. _Why the hell..._

"Claire, don't move... you'll hurt yourself again." This time Serah's voice was close to a whimper, and she opened her mouth to argue back. A hand clamped itself over her mouth, and Lightning resisted the sore urge to bite it, instead curling fingers that felt like jelly around the wrist and moving it gingerly away from her. Her arm brushed something on her temple with the small movement. _Stitches?_

The hand was back on her shoulder, gently but firmly pressing her down. "I want you to be quiet and listen, okay?" Shifting her weight made her entire left side radiate with pain, and Lightning let out a hiss.

"I told you so." Serah's voice had a touch of smugness to it. "Claire... you had me really, really worried... There was so much blood, and you had a fever, and..." Her sister's voice trailed off.

"Serah... I get it." The words felt foreign in her mouth - just how long had she been out? From the jelly feeling in her limbs, she knew it had to be more than a few hours. _What...? Right... I fell off a cliff, and- Hope!_ "Serah... where's Hope...? Is he okay...?"

She heard a sharp intake of breath, and even in her current mental state she knew something was wrong. _Goddammit, please don't tell me..._ A shuffling next to her ear, and she risked the movement to turn to face her sister - instantly, dizziness made her want to squeeze her eyes shut. Serah was pale, and she was clasping her hands tightly in her lap. Snow's bulk was somewhere beyond her, fast asleep.

"Claire... You're not well..." Obviously an excuse. Lightning narrowed her eyes.

"_Serah._ I'm well enough to know that something is wrong." The force she'd put in the words made nausea rise in her chest again, and she fought it, determined not to show it. Digging through her mind to find the magic, she found it weak and unconcentrated. But hopefully it would be enough to..."Cure," she whispered, feeling the magic channel from her left hand down to her leg.

It was nowhere near enough - she'd known from before she even tried to find her magic she wasn't in the mental state to be casting complicated cure spells. But it completely wiped the pain in her leg, the dull throbbing that had ate at her even in her dream state. The rest of her left side wasn't as lucky, and she could still feel the throbbing in her head. _Heck,_ _better than nothing, though._

Feeling some strength return to her limbs, Lightning pulled herself into a sitting position, and even though her head spun at the movement; at least she was able to. Now eye to eye with her sister, she fixed her blue gaze into Serah's.

"Now, Serah, _tell me._" She looked into Serah's scared eyes, trying to make herself look more intimidating, even though she knew she probably looked like a mess at the moment. Her sister fumbled with her hands, casting a glance behind her at Snow, who, Lightning was glad to see, looked out for the count. _I don't need that oaf bugging me with his antics right now._

"Claire... Hope's here... somewhere. We couldn't find him at the canyon... but we know where he is! Okay? So, don't get mad, please, we'll find him as soon as you're better..." Her voice trailed off. Lightning felt like tearing her hair out. _Why... Fuck. __Then you should have gone for him... _Trying to control her breathing, she kept her voice even, fighting off the internal panic and the instinct to get up and look for him... now.

"What do you mean, you know where he is? Why haven't you gone to look for him?" She fought to keep the anger and frustration out of her voice, but it was getting harder by the second.

"Because... Claire, _they_ took him... and-"

Lightning didn't let her sister finish before absolute fury and self blame hit her in the chest like a physical blow. "_They_ have him? Then why haven't you gone to go _get him?_ Do you _know_ what they could be doing to him?" She struggled to get up, feeling glad that her left leg could support her weight without any problems now, but she didn't expect the vertigo to slam her in the face as she fought to remain standing, hands gripping her knees to fight the sick feeling that attacked her.

Strong hands forced her back down, forced her to lie down again, and she knew it was Snow. She must have woken him up with her shouting, and she felt the momentary strength her anger had lent her dissipate - she lay there, feeling too pathetic to fight back.

"Sis, I don't know what kind of personal agenda you have, but let me get some things straight with you. One. You're hurt. Don't deny it, I know you know it. Two. I didn't carry you here from that canyon only to have you shout like an ungrateful bitch for not saving Hope. We told you, we know who has him and where he is, so keep your hair on before you go about shouting things that you don't get. Three. Don't shout at my wife for decisions _I_ made." He let go of her.

She lay there, feeling guilt and despair eat away at her. She knew Snow was right, she knew she shouldn't have shouted at Serah for not saving Hope, and she knew she had been unfair. _But it's still my fault... and it's still... _Hating herself, Lightning pulled herself into a fetal ball, clenching her hands together.

"Claire, please..." She wanted to cover her ears with her hands. Slender arms wrapped around her, and once again, she felt the familiar fuzziness of safety, but this time, it couldn't calm the inner storm that was threatening to rip her apart. She felt fingers brush away pink bangs that had fallen in her eyes.

"We know... We know you care, okay? So don't worry, Claire, we _will _get him back. Go to sleep, Claire... okay? I'll explain everything in the morning." Serah's soft words became dull murmurs in her ear, and she let herself be comforted by her sister, feeling the prickle of tears in the back of her eyes.

_Hope... I'm sorry._

* * *

><p>Serah didn't let go of her sister until she was sure Lightning was asleep again, before turning to Snow, who was watching them with a critical eye.<p>

"You didn't need to shout at her like that," she remarked quietly. "She feels bad enough already." He let out a huff that strangely, reminded her of the way Claire responded to things she didn't like.

"She didn't need to shout at _you_ like that," he retorted. Serah let out a sigh, trying not to hate Snow for yelling words that would no doubt make Claire feel worse, and trying not to hate her sister for being... her sister.

"I know, she overreacted. But think about how she probably feels at the moment... you didn't need to make it worse." She heard him let out a resigned sigh, before she got up and gently moved into his embrace.

"Yeah... I know. I'll apologize to her in the morning." He snorted. "If she doesn't punch me again before that." Serah smiled again, pressing her head against his chest.

"Thanks, Snow."

"Anything for you, baby."

She raised her head, pulling away slightly. "Snow? When Claire is better in the morning, how are we going to go get Hope?"

He laughed the confident laugh of his that she loved so much. "You just leave the details of the plan to your hero, baby, and we'll have the kid back in no time."

* * *

><p>Whoever the "friend" Hope had been expecting, he hadn't been expecting Xue. The young woman didn't so much look like a guest as she did a prisoner. <em>Like me.<em> The man next to her in the room overlooking the Demonsoul Tower just beyond the village was also someone Hope had never met. The man didn't have crimson eyes, didn't have the cat eyes of whoever the hell the other man was. His eyes were a strange golden colour, and when he extended a cold hand to him, Hope noticed the long, spidery fingers. He hesitated before taking the hand, not wanting to make the man angry.

"Pleasure to meet you, _Hope._ Why don't you have a seat with our lovely friend Xue over there, and we'll have a chat?" He shuddered at the voice - strange and melodic, exactly like the predator who was about to sink deadly claws into its prey. He took a seat, moving right to the edge of the chair, ready to get up and bolt if need be. Noticing that Xue was giving him a scared look, Hope wondered exactly why she was here. She was a seeress, he knew that much, but what did she have to do with anything?

"So, I presume you two know why you're here... no? Demonsoul Tower can only be unlocked by the sacrifice of monsters, which our friends have so kindly provided. And when it does, do you know what we'll find?" _So this is why there're no monsters around this area... How long have they been 'collecting'? _The man looked expectantly at them, closing his fingers before him on the table.

"The first crystal needed to magnify the Eclipse, of course." The smile the man now wore gave Hope the shivers, and he avoided eye contact with the golden eyes. _Now I know why it was circled... I have to stop them!_ A small chuckle made him flinch.

"When you little friends get here, they'll help us kill all the monsters, and that will leave our forces free to take the crystal in the tower. And that's where you come in, my dears. You'll be the bait." Hope narrowed his eyes at the golden gaze, trying to read the expression in them. The only thing he could find in them were amusement and greed, before he was being led away again by the red eyed guards. _And we are just bait... but that doesn't mean I won't fight back against his plan._

And though he didn't want to admit it, Hope knew it _was_ a good plan on their part; Snow was sure to come running for him, and if he was being attacked by monsters, he knew the big man wouldn't hesitate to take them all out. _And once he does..._ Hope realized his hands were shaking. Trying not to think of that fact, Hope forced his mind to wander elsewhere. Anything to get his head away from the sick plan.

But the problem was, once he let his mind go, it instantly went back to Lightning. He didn't know if she was okay, if the cat eyed man had told the truth when he'd said she wasn't coming for him. _That can't be true... can it? __Light would never give up so easily... _But how could he be sure? Hope had to admit the fact that he didn't know, that if she was alive or not was... _Light, please tell me you're okay..._ Clenching his hands into fists, Hope fixed his eyes on the moon outside the hallway he was being prodded down.

_I have to believe you're okay, Light. Please tell me it's true...  
><em>

* * *

><p>Chirping and sunshine.<p>

The damn birdsong forced its way into her head, and Lightning pulled the blanket over her ears. _Shut up..._ It was too bright, and the blanket didn't block the sound of the annoying birds. Pulling herself into a sitting position, she noticed that Serah and Snow were gone. For the first time, she took in her surroundings - she was in a room with two beds and a small bathroom off to the left. Her head felt better - at least the world didn't spin every time she moved it, but even she had to hold back a gasp at the discolouring on her left side. _Oh well._ Gingerly fingering the bruises down her left leg, she looked at it closely for the first time since she'd fallen.

The break in the bone, or whatever the hell it was, was gone, thanks to her weak cure spell the night before. But the skin behind her lower calf still looked red and inflamed, and she felt drained of magic - it would be at least a few hours before she would be able to muster even a small Thunder, let alone a Cura that would get rid of it. At least it didn't hurt to walk on it, and she made her way over to the bathroom to splash water on her face.

One look in the mirror and she _knew_ she looked like she'd been dragged to hell and back. Lightning raked her hands through her messy pink hair, before she flicked her cape over her shoulder again, and quietly opened the door of the room. The storm of emotions from last night wasn't yet gone, and she took a moment to calm herself and internalize her feelings before taking a step out. _Hope... I _will_ save you. _Snow was standing outside, arms crossed - obviously waiting for her.

"Morning Sis." His tone was cool, and she narrowed her eyes. She hadn't forgotten what he'd shouted at her last night, and she doubted he had either. She rested one hand on her hip, wincing when it brushed one of the bruises, and waited. "Look, Sis... I'm sorry for what I yelled at you the night before. I know you went through a lot of shit yesterday, and..." She sighed, cutting him off.

"Snow... I know I..." Urgh. Why was it so hard to apologize to him? "I'm sorry too. I didn't know-" He clapped a hand on her shoulder, making her rocky head spin a little again, but she appreciated the gesture.

"So, square then, Sis?" She brushed him off impatiently, following him as he made for the stairs at the end of the hallway.

"Whatever. Where's Serah?" He offered a hand to her to help her down the stairs, and Lightning hesitated. On one hand, she didn't mind the help, and on the other, it was Snow. She sighed again, knowing it would probably be worse if she fell in the process of going down, and accepted the support.

"She's downstairs, waiting for you to wake up. Oh, and you owe her an apology too, by the way." She wanted to slap his enormous smug grin right off his stupid face. _He's lucky I'm not in the physical condition to do it... today.  
><em>

Serah was sitting by a table downstairs, picking at what looked to Lightning like an undercooked fish. But she was the cook in the house, and if she thought it was safe to consume, then, well, she wasn't going to argue. Making her way over to her sister, Lightning gingerly lowered herself onto a chair, wincing when one of its legs brushed a bruise.

"Claire!" She watched her sister scrutinize her. "You're okay now... right?" Sighing, she forced herself to look directly at Serah.

"Yeah... Serah, look, I'm sorry... about last night." Slim arms enveloped her.

"I know, Claire... I would have been upset too, if I were in your place."

"Alright! Let's get this party on the road, baby. Why don't we fill Sis in?" Snow exuberant voice made her flinch slightly - why was he always so loud? She fidgeted; she wanted to be out there, going to Hope, but she knew she had to be informed. _Those bastards are going to really regret messing with him... and me._ She waited, drumming her slim fingers on the tabletop, while Snow spread the map he must have swiped from her pack sometime yesterday on the table. She shot him a scowl. _Thief._

He ignored her, jauntily wiggling his fingers before jabbing them at a place on the map just next to the red circle.

"So, here we are. Teh Rya, Village of Demons. It doesn't house any specific fal'Cie or l'Cie or anything, but obviously the people here know about the War of Transgression. Its main point is that it's next to the Demonspiral Tower. We went to gather some info after we got someone to patch you up, Sis, so, here's the gist of it: the reason we haven't seen any monsters in this area is well, because of a certain group of people came here a few months back, and started gathering monsters."

"Them?" Snow nodded, lowering his voice before he continued, casting a glance around the room. There was no one there but them and the innkeeper, and the innkeeper was busy with cleaning.

"Here's the thing. According to legend, the Demonspiral Tower houses a crystal, and I think we all know what that is all too well. Now, the thing about the tower is that its doors only open with the appropriate amount of monsters have been slain at its foot."

Lightning let out a hiss - she knew exactly where this was going. Snow noted her expression, and nodded. _Should have known..._

"And now the thing about Hope. The local people told us the leader of the village has locked himself up with the newcomers, and refuses to see anyone anymore. I'm pretty sure they've got Hope holed up in the leader's palace... thing. Sis, I'm pretty sure they're not up to any of the "l'Cie" business this time - there is no patron fal'Cie for Teh Rya."

She narrowed her eyes. Snow's story made sense so far, except... "So why do they need him?" She felt Serah rest her hand on her right arm.

"We're not sure..." Her sister's voice was hesitant. "Why _would_ they need him? They mentioned last time they were after _you_."

Pressing her fingers to her temples, careful not to disturb the stitches on her left temple, Lightning racked her brain. They would have known the first thing she was going to do was to go after Hope. If there was no fal'Cie, then they couldn't do anything else to him. _Right...?_ So why were they after _him?_ Unless...

"Wait, Snow. You said... they started 'collecting' monsters?" When he nodded, she furrowed her brows, ignoring the building throbbing in her head. Monsters were needed to open the door, and she knew they probably didn't want to sacrifice so much of their strength in fighting monsters. But if Hope was there... and he was getting attacked...

"_Fuck._" The curse escaped her lips, and she abruptly stood up, ignoring her protesting body. Suddenly desperate to run out into the morning sunlight, Lightning had to stop her hands from trembling. She reached for her weapon, only to find it wasn't there.

"Claire?" Serah sounded scared.

"We have to get to him... fast. They're using him as bait." _Shit, shit, shit... Why did I let this happen?  
><em>

She glanced outside at the brightening morning, tightening her slender fingers into fists.

_I have to get to you... before you get hurt._

* * *

><p>Hope looked outside at the sun that was beginning to rise above the mountain ranges. Sitting awkwardly on the side of the bed, he held his hands clasped tightly together. He'd cast Cure on himself several times already, ridding his body of pain, and he searched for anything, anything that would serve as a weapon. Not surprised he hadn't found one, he supposed his magic would have to do.<p>

Low murmurs came from the corner Xue was huddled in - she hadn't done anything but pray, or whatever she was doing, since they'd been pushed into the room, and he hadn't made an effort to speak to her. He cast a sideways glance at her now; she was still kneeling at the closed window, eyes closed. Hope sighed, pushing a hand through his silver hair.

He needed to get out. Before they set him on a silver platter as monster food, that much was for certain. But he was still unsure as to why Xue was here. _Isn't she the l'Cie? Who else can they want from her?_ The only person he could think of was her brother, but that didn't make sense. What was needed from him? Yangt'zu was certainly not a l'Cie and as far as Hope could see, utterly useless to _them_. So absorbed was he in his thoughts, that he didn't hear the soft footsteps of Xue behind him.

"They'll be here for us soon." Her voice was calm. "But your friends will come for you... correct?"

He nodded blankly, not sure why that had to do with anything.

"But my brother... what will he try? What will he do?" Hope didn't know how to answer her question, nor did he want to begin to even try. For the Maker's sake, he was just a kid. How was he supposed to know?

"Make sure... your friends will not do anything they will regret."

_What does that mean? What is she trying to say?  
><em>

* * *

><p>Lightning gripped the omega weapon Snow had given back to her until her fingers were turning white. The morning sun felt good on her back, though, and she could barely feel the abuse her body went through yesterday... if she walked. Her side ached painfully when she ran, and... <em>Maker, I don't think I can even take on <em>one_ monster right now. _

They were standing outside the walled gate to the inner Teh Rya village, where the guards had refused to let them in. Serah had pulled her back by the cape when she had been about to pull out her weapon on one of them, and pushed her into the shadows.

"Claire... we can't walk up to them like that. They'll know..." She rolled her eyes, shooting a venomous look at Snow for not stopping her sister.

"How else are we going to get in, Serah? They'll notice either way."

Footsteps behind them made Lightning spin around, ignoring her protesting side. She raised her weapon. _I might not be in shape to fight a monster, but a human enemy I can take._ She froze at the sight of a hunched figure walking towards them, trying to make out whether it was a trap or just not an enemy. The splashes of the dank puddles in the alleyway made her less sure it was an enemy, but there was no way she was lowering her omega weapon.

"You're here... to fight Yorun, aren't you." It wasn't a question, and in the dim light of the shadows, Lightning could make out the figure of an older woman with lank brown hair. Her face was covered with a cloak, and she couldn't see the her features.

"So what if we are?" Snow's words voiced her own suspicions.

The woman shrugged off the hood of her cape, revealing a scarred face that instantly made Lightning want to back away. Because the scars weren't just ones anyone would get from any single battle, but ones someone would get by being mauled. An inward shudder passed through her. _Just what... attacked her?_

"Come with me. I know a back way into the village leader's home." She hesitated, not sure if it was a trap or not. For all she knew, it very well could be. _And Maker knows there's no way in hell I'm walking into another one._

"Why... are you helping us?" Serah's quiet, timid voice came from beside her, and Lightning felt the warm presence of her sister next to her right side. The woman, who had turned away to walk, turned back, an unreadable expression in her eyes.

"Because Yorun needs to come home. I will help you... if it means that will happen."

For some reason, the explanation hit her as the truth; the woman spoke with the same heavy despondency she had felt when Serah had been taken from her by the fal'Cie. She saw Snow flinch just a few steps ahead of her - he took in more than he let on. However, every soldier instinct she owned told her not to trust someone who had come to them in the shadows and offered them a convenient shortcut - Lightning narrowed her eyes, trying to think. There was no reason why the woman _shouldn't_ be helping them, the villagers of Teh Rya had been affected by _them_ as well. But in the shadows, she couldn't read the woman's body language, couldn't see the features the darkness concealed.

"Thanks. Lead the way." Snow's gruff, appreciative voice replied to the statement before Lightning could make up her mind. Damn it, he'd made the decision before she'd thought it through, and now it looked like they couldn't back out without... _You stupid idiot._ _What have you gotten us into this time?_

A hand closed on her arm, steadying the weapon she didn't realize was shaking.

"Claire?" Serah.

"Uh huh?" She really wasn't in the mood to listen - Lightning was still angry at the fact that Snow had gone ahead and trusted the woman, without bothering to think about the consequences. _Does he ever learn?_

"Promise me... you won't do anything stupid this time, okay?" She shot a glance at Serah, taking in the apprehensive look in her sky blue eyes.

She hesitated for a few moments before replying; Serah wasn't dumb - her sister had to know that she would do whatever it took to get Hope back... safe. And yet, being cared for by someone else, even if it was a little sister trying to order her not to do exactly what she intended to do, '_something stupid'_ to save him, felt nice, in a way. Her mother's words played back to her.

"_And Serah, she can help you too."_

Lightning pulled her lips into a tight smile. "Right."

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, seriously, this chapter was <em>long.<em> I chose to end off with Lightning's classic "Right" - I was watching an interview with Ali Hillis the other day, and she mentioned that's her favourite line of Lightning's because it's the phrase she uses (quote Ali Hillis) "whenever she sees something new, and it's a big monster, or something totally over her head that she has to deal with, she says 'Right.'" And it's so true, now that I think about it, ha!**

**That middle section there with Light and Snow... man, that was hard to write. The only scene I had to base "angry Snow" off of was the birthday scene in Bodhum - hope he was believable. And I hope the way Light reacted was okay - like I said, that part was difficult, but it needed to happen.  
><strong>

**So anyways, hm, the plot thickens. And I'll say this straight off - the next few chapters are for sure going to be awesomely packed with action. I have work tomorrow after school until late in the evening, so the next update is not likely going to be up before _Saturday evening_. I do apologize, but on the other hand, you guys now have more time to speculate. *cackles***

**Leave love in reviews as always, and I'll see you guys next time!**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	24. Malevolence

**Hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3**

**Appreciation goes to my reviewers: GCFarron, Mylaervain, and OscarMerrinoz96! (: **

**So, as stated last chapter, this chapter is late due to my busy weekend schedule, but I did sit myself down today and crank it out - most of it was planned already though so it wasn't that hard. n_n**

**I won't spoil anything more here - there is finally some more action in this one, and expect the action to continue into the next chapter; you'll see soon. Enjoy as always, my lovelies!**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 24: Malevolence <span>

Lightning crept forwards in the shadows, pressing her back against the stone wall. Her omega weapon bumped against the back of her legs, and she fixed her eyes on Snow's hulking backside a few paces ahead of her. She was still angry that Snow, being the idiot he was, had gone ahead and agreed to follow the woman, but at least... _Better than standing there and arguing with Serah about the best way to get in. _She shot another glare at his backside.

The taller brick buildings began to slowly disappear in favour of shady pine trees, and she realized that they were leaving the town borders and entering the wilderness again. Her boot bumped against a rock, and she held back a hiss - even the small impact rubbed against the raw skin on her calf. Letting her soldier training take over, Lightning let her mind wander off as to exactly how they were going to rescue Hope.

There was no way she was fit to take on monsters - she knew that much. She could probably muster some magic, but her currently injured left side was going to be a big problem in their mobility. But that left Snow... and Serah, whose stamina wasn't nearly enough to cast the magic needed to take out the monsters that were no doubt waiting for them. She muttered a curse under her breath; this wasn't going to be easy.

And then there was the problem of actually getting Hope himself. She didn't know where he was kept, and she didn't know how many enemies lay between the point of their entry and him. _And I have to keep him safe... I promised. _

"Shit." She'd bumped into Snow, who had stopped. "What the hell are you doing?" she snapped at him.

"Be quiet, Sis, wait." His whispered reply didn't make her feel better - she was sorely tempted to kick him before she reminded herself to save the violence for the monsters. _What now?_

Someone else's hand found hers, and interlaced their fingers with hers. Serah.

"Why have we stopped?" Her quiet whisper sounded loud when the only sound Lightning could hear was the wind whistling through the pine branches.

The woman's voice came from somewhere up ahead. "Come into the trees." Every instinct screamed at her not to follow the instructions, but she couldn't leave Serah behind, who was already following Snow deeper into the pine forest. She pulled out her gunblade - there was no way she was going in there without being armed. Lightning flipped her weapon to gun mode - it didn't involve as much movement to her side if she wanted to attack something. _Snow, this had better be safe... Or else. _

Leaning against a tree trunk, she crossed her arms, careful not to brush her left side, eying the woman suspiciously. Snow had his arms around Serah - she trusted he'd be able to keep her safe if something attacked them. Painfully aware of her own vulnerability at the moment, Lightning held back a growl of frustration as the woman began to speak.

"Yorun was once an inhabitant of Teh Rya. Though we have no l'Cie ourselves, he threw himself into the study of mythology. And he began to think that through the Eclipse, he could attain the power of a fal'Cie." Lightning let out a snort. _Figures. Another power crazy maniac._

"He came back after he watched Cocoon, the floating paradise, fall, after many years of disappearance to study the fal'Cie of Pulse, and their various kinds. And he was, well, very intrigued by the fact that a few l'Cie were able to defeat the Cocoon fal'Cie Orphan. He thought that if he could use warrior Pulse l'Cie, he could make the Eclipse his own." The woman shot her a piercing stare that made Lightning feel like every single one of her secrets was laid out for the woman to inspect. _What the hell..._

The piercing gaze was turned to Snow. "You are the l'Cie, correct?" Her fingers tightened on the omega weapon - was this woman on this Yorun's side or not? A thick hand shot out in front of her.

"Easy, Sis." _Snow, you freaking idiot, what have you gotten us into this time?_

* * *

><p>Hope shielded his eyes from the bright sun, blinking and trying to adjust to the stark difference of light and dark. Trying to resist the temptation to rub his eyes, he stumbled a bit. And that was when the feral snarls of monsters hit his eardrums like raindrops on earth during a thunderstorm. He couldn't see them yet, but the urge to cover his ears was strong - the monsters' squeals chilled him to the bone. <em>Just how many are there?<em>

The instinct to curl up and hide was overpowering. _Light...__ If you're here..._ He shook his head - he couldn't think about that now. Even if he needed her, even if he wanted her to protect him, he had to accept that for now, he was alone. Hope hadn't gotten his head around to Xue's words yet - he'd worry about that later. Right now... he needed a way to somehow get away and back to Snow without...

"Your friends are here, by the way." The satisfied words sounded somewhere above his head, and Hope tried to ignore the smugness in it. _No doubt we've walked right into... what they want._ He tightened his fingers into fists - he hoped he had enough magic left to take out at least some monsters, even if it meant...

Shoved onto a platform overlooking the monsters with Xue, Hope cringed at the sight of the writhing mass below him, spread like a black blanket over the earth in front of the black stone of Demonsoul Tower. They'd even got their hands on an Adamantortoise. _Who..._ He flexed the fingers of his left hand - it was going to take a lot to take them all out. And from this vantage point, Hope could see the tower clearly for the first time.

The stone that created its outer walls wasn't black, as he'd assumed when he looked at it from a distance; it was a deep purple that reminded him of poison. Chains dangled off the steepled roofs and his eyes widened to see that there were multiple floors to it - nine, in total. But there seemed to be no front door in sight - maybe that was what_ they_ were trying to achieve, but Hope really didn't see any way in from the ground. His eyes traveled upwards to its top, and they lighted on its roof - there was an open space where he was fairly someone even as big as Snow could easily fit, and jump down into. _Maybe you enter from the top...? _But it didn't make sense - then why were monsters needed to be sacrificed?

A rough poke in the middle of his back made him stumble into the railing, and he clung on for dear life, hands clutching the wooden railing. Hope braced himself to begin the maelstrom of magic, focusing his power into his left hand, but the shove he expected into the throng of monsters never came. _What..._

He was thrown to the ground as an earth shattering boom rang around his ears and the entire world trembled and shook.

* * *

><p>Lightning fought back the nausea as the earth shuddered under her feet, and she was thrown against the stone wall of the outer palace. Her weapon was crushed against her palm and she hissed a curse under her breath.<p>

_What the hell is going on?_

But she wasn't going to complain - her magic might not be up to standard at the moment but the distraction would hopefully provide cover for her to get to Hope. A hand gripped her shoulder, and she impatiently slapped away Snow's thick fingers.

"Sis, go! Serah and I will deal with the rest, you go find Hope!" He shoved her towards the now cracked wall - she didn't know who the hell had blown up the place, or whatever, but she'd take the chance. Slipping easily between the split stone, she flattened her lithe body against the side of the rock as stone dust rained down on her head. Coughing, she fought against the thin mist of rock that obscured her vision, and pushed her body forwards, ignoring the pain that flared every time her left leg touched the ground. It wasn't bad, but it distracted her that she could painfully feel every step.

Keeping her eyes on a door to the back entrance of the building in front of her, she let her instincts take over as she easily sniped a guard leaning over the outdoors hallway. Her Fira was weak - and it made her head spin to cast it, but it left a gaping hole in the thick wooden door for her to squeeze through. She hoped Serah and Snow were okay - it wasn't that she didn't trust Snow to take care of her sister, but... _Serah...  
><em>

The words of the woman pounded into her skull. _"You're the l'Cie, correct? Then you have the power to stop Yorun. And bring him back to the person Teh Rya once knew."_ Lightning snorted, and hastily raked her pink bangs back - now was _not_ the time to be showing sympathy to the enemy. _This Yorun bastard is going to _really_ regret mess__ing up my life... and hurting the people I care about._

She buried bullets into the next guards that happened to stray across her, letting her soldier training guide her actions and suppress her emotions. _I'm not up for melee combat... but I can deal with you, _she thought grimly. Every turn she made, she wanted to be greeted by the familiar glint of sunlight on silver hair, and every turn that didn't show her the sight she wanted, Lightning felt herself beginning to panic. Whatever the explosion was wouldn't distract anyone for too long, and she expected more guards after her just about now.

She didn't dare risk calling his name though - undue attention was sure to gain her the defeat that was inevitable soon in her condition. Something passed her shoulder, and caught several pink strands of her hair, and she whipped around, finding herself the target of three crossbows. _Goddammit, I don't have time for this!_

The Thundaga nearly sent her collapsing to the ground, black crowding her vision, and Lightning couldn't hold back a hiss of frustration. _Why... does it have to be now that I can't..._

"Light! Light, are you okay?" A desperate voice, layered with obvious tones of relief came from behind her, and she froze, unable to process it for the moment. _Is it... _The gentle brush of small hands on her right arm confirmed it as he bent down to her level. The silver hair and emerald eyes.

"Hope..." Her voice was a gasp of effort, and she struggled to push herself up, the world spinning around her as gravity tried to drag her down again. "You're... okay..."

"Light!" Arms wrapped around her, and despite the fact the she literally felt like shit, Lightning found herself returning the gentle embrace. The moment of solace disappeared as he let go of her, and she found his eyes scrutinizing her. "You didn't say you were hurt..." She felt the Cura spell wash gently over her skin, erasing the pain on contact. It lifted the black smog that had been in her head since last night, and for the first time that morning, Lightning realized she was actually conscious of controlling her mental capacities. _Thanks kid._

Pulling him after her, she pushed herself over the split wooden hallways, making for the way she'd come in. What she didn't expect was his resistance when she tugged on his hand.

"Hope, what...?" Her irritation had returned with the full use of her l'Cie powers, as she looked at him suspiciously over her shoulder.

He stood there, resolute and yet hesitant, his green eyes full of some strange hesitation she couldn't decipher. "Light... it's Xue, she's here somewhere and we can't leave her..." He was pointedly not moving as she let out a hiss of frustration.

_Urgh... he's serious...right? Snow must have really rubbed off on him - it's the hero mentality all over again._

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><p>Hope could see the hesitation and impatience in Lightning's eyes, and he knew she would want him to leave with her. And on any other day, perhaps he might have. But he couldn't ignore the fact that Xue was still here, and... <em>We owe her a favour that ought to be repaid.<em> He hoped he looked convincing enough - despite his enormous relief that she was okay, that she was really here, he _needed_ to do this; desperate to make her understand.

"Fine," she snapped resignedly at him; apparently she had decided it wasn't worth arguing over. "Where is she?" The frustration in her voice was as plain as the monsters he could still hear behind him somewhere - he'd bolted the moment the bomb had exploded and had sent several spells behind him at the guards - it was the Vile Peaks all over again.

But her question had stopped him for a moment - he _didn't_ know where she was. He hadn't seen her since, and part of him was afraid that she'd already been... Shaking his head to clear the thought, Hope glanced behind him.

"I don't know," he muttered lamely. "But she was behind me before the explosion." Setting off at a brisk jog in the direction that he'd come from, he felt largely relieved when he heard her start after him, and in moments, her bigger stride had allowed her to catch up to him.

"You're serious... right?" The look in her eyes held a mixture of disbelief and impatience. Hope nodded, not trusting his voice to speak, but before he could choke out a coherent reply, several Gorgonopsids burst out a hall on their right, claws ripping at the walls.

"Slash and Burn!" Her quick command made him snap into action; painfully aware that he had yet to find Nue, he positioned himself behind Lightning, who had jumped ahead of him to cut away at the monsters. The Aeroga was enough to make the first two stagger in midstep and for her to launch them into the air with her weapon. She fired several bullets at the others, sweeping her omega weapon in a large circle before turning her attention to the ones that had just landed back on the ground. He covered her back with a Blizzaga as she slashed at the two Gorgonopsids that she was currently aiming for.

The black smoke from their remains greeted his eyes as he pressed himself against the wall, barely dodging the leap of another. He heard several bullets fire, and he flattened himself into a corner before throwing another Aerora.

"Archmage!" Raising his hand, he cast the Protect over both himself and her, before focusing his attention on her gunblade. The Enthunder left his hand, just as a monster claw caught him in the side - he'd been too busy casting spells on her. Her Sparkstrike that caught the monster in question told him that she knew, knew he was hurt, before she quickly hissed another command. "War and Peace!"

The Cura he cast on himself erased the pain, and Hope quickly pushed himself after her, she was running down the hall the Gorgonopsids had appeared from. Picking up his pace, he found himself struggling to keep up with him. The current hallway took them down an outdoor one that overlooked the monster pen, and the flash of a white dress caught his eye. He stopped short as his hand closed on her cape, stopping her as well.

And then it wasn't just a white dress - familiar pink hair and a white coat were also present, barely visible in the still numerous throng of monsters below them.

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><p>Snow punched the Monstrous Flan, hoping the Aquastrike would be enough to stagger it. <em>Did I ever mention... I really hate these pudding things?<em> He gritted his teeth - there were more and he couldn't afford to spend much time on this one. Even with the constant buffs from Serah, he was getting tired. Before he could send another Blizzara at the flan, a Thundaga and Aeroga crashed into the ground, momentarily clearing the space around them of monsters.

"Need some help, hero?" Lightning's hiss was beside him as she jumped down from the ledge above, shortly followed by, to his eternal relief, Hope. He huffed in her direction, and he caught her smirk. She pulled Serah behind her as she straightened, flipping her omega weapon to gun mode.

"Malevolence!" He followed her lead, sinking punches into monsters on the left while she took the right. A rush of power filled him as he recognized Hope's Bravery, and he sprang back to avoid a swipe from another flan. _Maker in hell... just how many of these things are there?_

"Shit," he heard Lightning curse as finally an opening appeared. Wondering what had made her mad this time, he whipped around. Expecting her to yell at him, he didn't expect her to be standing her, omega weapon useless at her side, before he saw what she was looking at.

Vaguely familiar uniforms crowded his vision as they jumped down into the open area before the Demonsoul Tower, slashing away at the monsters. The numbers had definitely lessened, and he felt Serah press against his back. _Who..._

"The Farseer Tribe." Hope's voice was filled with a mix of distaste and surprise as he looked at the monsters from where he was standing with Lightning. Snow quickly scanned the area, and... there! He saw it, the distinctive cape of Yangt'zu. _Here for his sister?  
><em>

He hadn't seen Xue yet, but that was the only reasonable explanation for their presence. The bomb from the bazooka had been theirs as he and Serah had fought their way in after Lightning, that much he had figured. There was only one person who they would have risked this fight for. _Heh. Guess the guy isn't as sadistic as Sis figured._

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><p>The last tendrils of black smoke had just faded from Serah's vision when she felt her sister's fingers close around her arm. A slim weapon was pressed into her hand - looking down, Serah saw it was a light katana, no doubt from one of the guards they'd defeated on the way in.<p>

"You'll need it," her sister hissed at her. The heavy weight of metal in her hands felt odd - she'd never held anything bigger than a kitchen knife, and this was...

But Serah didn't have time to dwell on the morality of holding a weapon and using it, before a laugh that literally made her press her figure against Claire's hit her ears. An angry hiss from Hope on Lightning's other side confirmed Serah's suspicions and fears of who it was.

"It's so lovely when a plan comes to fruition so wonderfully, no?" Serah forced herself to look up, but against the noon sun it was hard to see in front of her. A figure standing in front of the Demonsoul Tower was all she could make out, but she had heard the several noises of both anger and hatred around her, and she looked closer. Her pulse leapt to her throat as she made out another figure beside him in a white dress - Xue; there was absolutely no doubt about it.

"Opening the door to Demonsoul Tower this way was so much more pleasant." Lightning let out an angry growl beside her, and the steel grip on her arm tightened. Serah tried to remember the bits and pieces of legends that they'd gathered around Teh Rya as a fact wormed its way into her head. _No... Did we just kill enough monsters to..._

Her question didn't need to be voiced aloud to be answered. But the "door" they'd all expected didn't appear in the wall. A yellow circle appeared beneath her feet, and Snow's yell snapped her sister into action. Lightning pulled her arm roughly as her sister rushed forward; desperate to get out of the glowing yellow insignia.

But they didn't make it in time before the yellow glare overpowered everything, and Serah closed her eyes to shield herself from the blinding light.

Silence greeted her, and stale air suffocated her from every side.

When Serah dared to open her eyes again, she was standing in a dark room, small and lit only by torches, giving the eerie deep purple walls a flickering, flaming effect that somehow added to the overall creepiness of the place. Her sister had let go of her arm, and in the darkness she could only make out Lightning's pink hair. Straining to see, she could catch a glimpse of the torchlight flickering off platinum hair beside Lightning, and strong arms found her shoulders. Snow.

Xue, Yangt'zu, and who she could only assume was Yorun were nowhere to be seen, but echoing footsteps that didn't belong in the still air were ahead of and below them... somehow.

"Fuck," her sister hissed, the curse sounding from somewhere in front of her.

"What, Sis?" Snow's voice held tentative wariness; completely unlike his character. "What's wrong?"

"Do you _realize_ where we are?" The reply was sharp in the stillness and the rapidly fading away footsteps. But her sister didn't wait for a response before continuing on. "That 'door' we opened... it was a portal. We're not on the bottom floor... this fucking tower must start at the _top._ Demonsoul Tower... _shit_."

"I don't... get it..." Serah hated the fact that her voice sounded so pathetic in the dark room. She knew her sister was right - they weren't on the ground; a faint breeze played with her pink hair, giving it life of its own. But she didn't get why...

Blazing turquoise eyes fixed on her as Lightning whipped around, gunblade ready in one hand.

"Don't you get it? The crystal he needs... is _here_. And we just gave him a free entry ticket."

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><p><strong>D:<strong>

**On one hand... Hope is safe, kudos to Light for finding him...sort of. On the other... oh my _god_ do we have a problem. Because Light's completely right - they just gave Yorun a free entry ticket to the tower and now they're stuck in it too. **

**Ha, I wonder what's gonna happen next? Hmmm... I really like leaving you guys dangling, didya know that? Heehee, of course.**

**So anyways, you'll have to wait and see. Next chapter _should_ be up by tomorrow if everything on my day schedule goes as planned; leave love in reviews as always, and I'll see you guys tomorrow! 8D**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	25. Ephemeral

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! (:**

**Thank yous go to my reviewers: OscarMerrinoz96 and Mylaervain! And another big thank you to every one of you - NR hits 100K words with this chapter and without all of your support I would never have had the courage and inspiration to make it this far! 8D And yes, Mylaervain, that annoying Yangt'zu seems to screw stuff up for us all the time, doesn't he? Gosh...**

**This chapter is a little late (at the moment it is 10:17 pm my time) and it was a little more rushed than usual, but I did get everything I wanted to in this chapter, and well, I hope it sounds alright to everyone who reads it.  
><strong>

**I won't say anything else before this chapter, only that I really hope you guys enjoy it! n_n**

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><p><span>Chapter 25: Ephemeral<span>

A drip of something cold splashed on the back of her neck, and Lightning cursed under her breath, irritatedly wiping the splatter of icy water from her hair and skin. There wasn't a lot to see by, and her footsteps echoed too loudly on the stone floor for her liking. The footsteps in front of them had faded, and Maker knew how the hell they were going to get out. She kicked something cold, letting out a hiss of pain and frustration before taking a step backwards. _What the hell..._

She'd kicked a trapdoor open, and Lightning could see stairs descending into what she could only make out as more eerie torchlight and darkness. Between wandering around aimlessly on this floor and descending into Maker knew what, she'd take her chances.

"Light?" Hope tugged on her arm, and she could hear his breathing beside her. She hummed a response, not taking her eyes off the stone steps.

"Are we going to go down?" Someone pushed her roughly from behind, making her stumble forwards and onto the first two steps of the newly revealed staircase. Whipping around, ready to spout the curse at whoever had the stupidity to push her, she found herself glaring at Snow's playful blue eyes.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she snarled, curling her fingers into a fist and raising it. He only laughed at her, batting her hand away gently.

"Awh, Sis, don't be so uptight. The only way we're gonna get out is by going down, so down we go. What's the hesitation for?" She shot him a venomous scowl before turning back to the stairs. _Thanks for the information, genius._

A blast of heat hit her face as her boot touched the bottom of the stairs, and Lightning had to raise a forearm to shield her eyes from the glow. What she had assumed was the same eerie torchlight was a bright flaming glare, and it took her a few heartbeats to realize from what. The floor below dangling stone platforms was lit by the fiery blaze, but she couldn't see any evidence of actual fire, nor lava, now that that she thought about it. Still, instinct warned her to stay away from the ground below the stone platforms - she had a nasty feeling that whatever went down there wouldn't come back. _It wouldn't hurt to test that theory though._

"Serah," she hissed into the darkness behind her. "Bring that weapon I gave you." Lightning crouched at the side of the platform, and carefully inspected their current floor - there was a thick metal bridge she could see several metres to their left they could use to cross to the other side of the room, but she couldn't see much further than that.

Multiple sets of footsteps drew near her, and she felt cloth brush her arm. "Here." Serah was crouched beside her, and her blue eyes widened when Lightning held the weapon over the edge. Even putting her hand over the orange glow made her want to withdraw her hand - she could _feel_ the heat wave the rose from whatever the fuck the floor was made of. Letting go of the katana, Lightning stood up to watch its progress as it fell onto one of the tiles. There was barely a flash of interruption in the light as the metal weapon quickly turned into a sooty pile of dark ash. She bit her lip - there was no way anyone would survive falling onto _that._

"Damn," she heard Snow hiss behind her. "What the hell is this place?"

She turned around to find Hope's scared green eyes looking up at her, while Serah was safely snuggled into Snow's coat. Gently draping an arm over Hope's shoulder, Lightning hoped the gesture would calm him a little. She was never the one for physical contact, but... _I need to know he'll be okay. _

"Alright, listen up." Her voice sounded unnaturally quiet in the room - at first, she was unsure whether it was her, before she realized the floor tiles had a similar sound to fire burning. _Figures._ They hadn't noticed it coming onto this floor, but now that it was actually silent, Lightning didn't see how she could have missed it before. "I think we've all just what happens if we touch the floor tiles. So, this just means we'll have to be careful... and that means _no playing games_," she finished, shooting an accusatory look at Snow.

"Hey, Sis, that's not fair..." His voice turned into a childish whine. She shot another glare at him.

"Don't act cute with me, Snow. You know exactly what I'm talking about." Turning around, she made for the steel bridge. Hope tagged alongside her, tentatively linking his right arm with her left. Lightning flinched at the unfamiliar contact, and at first, she wanted to pull away, unsure of how to respond to the affectionate gesture. _But it feels... kind of nice._

She sighed, cautiously letting herself enjoy the physical contact, but keeping her eyes in front of her and on the floor, careful of where she was stepping. The metal bridge underneath her boot sounded loudly, and she winced again - anyone on this floor would be able to hear them from several dozen feet away. She pulled out her weapon, flipping it to sword mode, and concentrated on not falling off. A soft giggle sounded somewhere behind her - she knew who it was and exactly what they were laughing at.

_I'll never hear the end of this when we get out, will I?_

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><p>Serah covered her mouth with her small hand, stifling her laughter. Not only was Claire actually letting Hope literally hold her arm, she didn't look irritated, nor had she said a thing. She knew the seriousness of the situation, but she couldn't deny that this tiny moment had almost made her feel at home, and made her feel like... <em>Maybe Claire isn't so cold hearted to everyone all the time.<em>

A snort of amusement made her look up, as she saw Snow had the same expression she did. His grin was monstrously wide as he looked at the two ahead of them.

"Hey, hey... is Sis actually letting..." The satisfaction was so evident in his voice Serah didn't see how Claire couldn't hear him. But she smiled, letting the sight of her sister warm her heart.

Reaching up, she pressed a finger to his lips. "Don't, okay?" She giggled. "If you want to see more, don't tease her about it." The familiar, confident laugh made her smile again as she traced her finger down his jaw. She felt him embrace her again, leaning against him.

"Okay, baby, whatever you say. Now let's go before Sis gets mad again." He took off at a sudden run; laughing, Serah chased after him, keeping an eye on her feet and where she was stepping. _And when things are like this... it's hard to believe things won't be okay._

They caught up to Lightning at the end of the bridge, as she was inspecting the area for the next staircase. _Right... there are nine floors in the Demonsoul Tower. There's eight more to go. _She took a step towards her sister.

"Claire, see anything?" She followed the point of her sister's omega weapon, and her gaze rested on the corner of the room where the flickering orange light cast a shadow. Following her and Hope, she trailed after them with Snow, happily holding his hand. But something nagged at her - this felt too easy, even to her. And even if it was supposed to be, she found it hard to believe that Yorun, or whoever it was, wouldn't make things harder for them. There was so much at stake here that she didn't want to believe that things were going so well.

_There has to be a catch... there has to be. At this rate we'll easily catch up with them..._

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><p>Slightly out of breath, Hope followed Lightning as his feet hit the ground of the second floor of Demonsoul Tower. The last seven floors had passed rather uneventfully, something that he knew made Lightning uneasy. There had been some minor maze-like qualities in some of the floors, but they had all been devoid of life, human or monster. The only danger had been falling onto the floor tiles beneath the stone platforms, but it became apparent after awhile that the only real way to fall was if someone was <em>extremely<em> clumsy.

He tugged on her arm, and she turned around, slight irritation in her blue eyes. "What, Hope?"

"Light? What do you think we'll find... at the bottom?" He saw her visibly shudder as she raked a hand through her pink hair.

"Whatever it is... we'd better be ready," she hissed quietly. He saw her whip her head around, clearly looking for Snow and her sister. He heard her growl of frustration as her left hand curled into a fist and she muttered darkly under her breath. "That idiot... seriously, when will he learn that this isn't playtime?"

He felt her tug his arm a moment later, dragging him after her. "Well, we're not waiting for him to dawdle his way over here." Prying her grip off the sleeve of his orange jacket, Hope tagged along after her. Now didn't seem like the right time to return her simple gesture, but he wanted to. _Light..._

He felt her hand stop him just before the steps to the final floor. "You ready?" Her question was carefully neutral, but he noticed the way she was holding her weapon. _She's ready for a fight..._ Feeling either Snow or Serah accidentally kick him from behind, he nodded, before he realized she couldn't see him.

His throat felt dry, and his answer was slightly choked. "Yup." She glanced back at him once, blue eyes questioning, before she let out a small breath, breathing in a few more times before she took another step.

"Okay, let's go."

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><p>The moment her foot hit the ground, Lightning felt her body tense in its usual pre-battle nerves. This time though, she knew she was in for a fight, and she was better mentally prepared. <em>Come and get it.<em>

The first thing that caught her eye was that Yorun was standing there, unthreateningly, in the middle of the room. She couldn't see beyond him - there was really only one rather narrow walkway, and she narrowed her eyes when she noticed that the burning floor tiles this time were only slightly below the sides of the walkway, and there was nothing to hold someone back from falling ten feet onto the tiles. Nothing to stop someone who happened to misstep. _Shit... If this turns out into a battle, this could go badly... very_ fast. There was something off about the set up, but she couldn't place her finger on it. Something was missing.

"Finally caught up to us, I see." Yorun's voice was as oily as she remembered it; and she gritted her teeth. "So glad of you to join us, _Lightning._" She didn't bother replying, simply raising her weapon until the barrel of her gunblade pointed at his forehead.

He only laughed, though, reminding her cruelly of Larcell, as his golden eyes danced mockingly. "You really think such a mortal weapon has enough power to kill me?" She heard leather grind on leather as Snow pulled his hands into fists behind her.

"You wanna try?" His angry growl only made the man laugh even harder as he waved a hand behind him before moving aside. _You...sick bastard..._

The first, and only, thing she could see was red. Red as in blood red, and she heard a horrified gasp behind her. The immediate instinct to protect Serah snapped her into motion, and Lightning moved in front of her sister, weapon raised, before Serah could see more. A muffled squeak told her that Snow had had the exact same reaction as she did, and she raised her left hand, swallowing when she saw it was trembling slightly.

She couldn't even begin to describe the scene before her - it threatened to trigger her gag reflex. Xue was nowhere to be seen, and for a heartbeat, Lightning was grateful that she wasn't there. _One less favour to owe...right?_ But the moment of relief was wiped when she considered the alternative, her body frozen in shock at the scene before her.

Claws sunk in a body she couldn't even recognize until she saw the ripped white cape and the numerous other bodies lying splayed around it in various forms of the contorted figures of death. Eyes that stared only at death and the reflection of the flickering orange tiles cast on the ceiling, and she felt fury begin to worm its way up her chest when the beast that the claws belonged to raised its head and locked gazes with her.

She could feel Hope's breathing spike beside her, and Snow mutter a curse as it ripped its claws from the body, dropping it to the ground. Now that it wasn't hunched over, Lightning could see it was some sort of dragon - the moment before some sick form of terror and panic gripped her mind, she noted it vaguely reminded her of Bahamut, Fang's Eidolon. And it was painfully obvious it had found its next victims - them.

But she couldn't let herself panic - Hope was looking at her expectantly as the metallic black dragon spread its tattered wings and flew several short flaps towards them. Steeling herself for a fight, Lightning forced herself to take a breath, pulling it in between her teeth, and raised her left hand. _Bring it._

"Protection!"

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><p>Snow pushed Serah behind him, forcing her to take cover in the low stairway as he put himself in front of Lightning and Hope. He felt the Syngergist spells wash over him, and a warm light enveloped him. <em>Did I ever mention the kid is good at this sorta stuff?<em> The first swipe from the dragon was caught by his Steelguard, and he grunted from the effort - it pushed him back and the claws dug into his skin; the pain ephemeral as it was almost instantly wiped by Lightning's Cure spells. Bracing himself for another hit, he found that it hurt less... once again thanks to Hope. Then came the spell he was waiting for; the feeling of being so light on his feet he could cross the room effortlessly. The moment he felt it wreath his body, the sharp command from Lightning snapped him into action.

"Relentless Assault!" Pushing himself off the ground, Snow landed the punch in the dragon's left foreleg with Lightning slashing at the opposite side. The dragon's moan of pain was driven from its mouth some twenty feet above their heads, but the wounds they were inflicting didn't even seem like they were doing much - the thing swiped Lightning aside with one blow and he heard Serah scream.

An Aeroga covered her recovery, and Snow felt the flicker of relief to see her on her feet, cursing quietly. The dragon was after him next, and in the moment he took to dodge the coming swipe, he wondered _Where the hell did this thing come from?_ But there wasn't any time to delve on the origins of the beast as he felt claws rake over his head, and he fell forwards from the momentum it created.

Pushing his body faster, Snow cast a Blizzaga at it, hoping the ice spell would slow it down. The only thing it seemed to do, though, was aggravate it as it clawed at its body where the ice flower had frozen. He could see that Lightning saw it as well - her eyes narrowed and she paused in the midst of shooting bullets at it.

He saw her raise her hand for a Ruin, and the moment she leapt up to strike it, she switched strategies. "Decimation!" But she had switched to casting spells to attract the dragon's attention, which left him free to pummel with his fists. _Fine with me, Sis._ The Vigilance swept over him and the dragon was knocked back a few inches while in the midst of trying to catch Lightning with its claws and spiked tail. _Nice, kid._ The moment the tail swept back to try and catch her, she backflipped and caught it in the foreleg with a series of gunshots and slashes. While the dragon reared back in anger, Snow saw his chance.

_"Here it comes!" _His few blows slammed the dragon against the ground, and Snow allowed himself a small smile of satisfaction. A glare from Lightning told him it wasn't over yet - the dragon was scrambling to its legs, albeit slowly, and he could see the leery anger in its small red eyes.

She backpedaled quickly as the tail came swooping over her head, calling the next command. "Tri-Disaster!" A blast of magic hit the dragon as Snow realized all of them had thrown some variant of a Blizzard spell at it, and he saw it stagger backwards again. He waited for her to change the strategy, surely now was a good time to switch to the Aggression strategy so it couldn't attack. But the command didn't come, and when he whipped his head around, he saw why.

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><p>Lightning felt her omega weapon glue itself to her side when a flash of pink hair caught her eye. The dragon had been loud enough to cover the sounds of everything else but their fight, and she could have sworn she felt her heart stop for a few seconds.<p>

Serah was inches away from the floor tiles, hands gripping another pair of hands. But that wasn't what scared her. What scared her was how close this fight had come to her sister - it wouldn't be hard for the dragon's tail to knock into Serah at this point, and the ugly figure wielding a weapon just behind her. Yorun.

Why had she let herself forget about him the moment the dragon attacked them? Why hadn't she _made sure_ Serah was safe before going to fight her own battle? Why hadn't... She didn't even feel the pain when claws raked themselves down her leg as she pushed her tired body towards her sister. Hating herself more than ever at the moment, Lightning knew she wouldn't get there in time, wouldn't get there before a weapon buried itself into her sister's back - and Serah couldn't even fight back with her own l'Cie powers. _Shit... why..._

Lightning tried to make her body move faster, but even with the Haste spell pushing her forwards, there was no way she could reach Serah in time to protect her fully. There was only one way to get there in time to even remotely have a chance to shield Serah from some sort of harm, and that was to put her own body in between the weapon and her sister. Lightning gritted her teeth as she stumbled to a stop in the way of the weapon and Serah's terrified eyes, and waited for the inevitable pierce of pain.

Instead, she watched a brilliant blue sphere of water explode around them and freeze everything in the limited vision she had at the moment.

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><p><strong>Ha.<strong>

**Well, I think that was sort of expected (it's about time someone else got their Eidolon)... and once again, I'm sure 99% of you know what's going to happen next. But I'm cutting the chapter off here anyways, just because... I felt like it. Heehee.**

**Once again, I leave interpretation of events up to you, though I must say... Hope, did you just... *coughs*And Light, did you let him... _Anyways._ *coughs quietly* This chapter has been fun though, and at least it looks like poor Light isn't going to have to sacrifice herself to protect Serah because our hero has other plans, yes? n_n**

**As always, leave love in reviews, and I'll see you guys tomorrow.**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	26. Beyond the Beyond

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3**

**Once again I begin with a thanks to all my reviewers: GCFarron, Mylaervain, and OscarMerrinoz96; seriously I love you guys.**

**Not a lot to say before this chapter, only that you guys probably know who got his Eidolon, and I can only say that I hope I do said Eidolon justice; it was awesome ingame and man... I love that Eidolon. D: Enjoy as always! (:**

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><p><span>Chapter 26: Beyond the Beyond<span>

The explosion of power from his brand made Snow wince - it had been a long time since he'd felt that kind of power. But he was glad - Serah had been in danger, and Lightning had been about to... _Urgh, why wasn't _I _there for her when she needed me?_ The one moment of absolute desperation, fear, and horror had brought forth the trembling sphere as two very familiar forms burst out of the frozen bubble.

Snow took the moment of distraction to knock the spear out of the suprised Yorun's hands, aiming another punch at him, but the man dodged swiftly away, disappearing behind the dragon that had been caught in Shiva's summon sequence. It was still flailing, but it was struggling to free itself from the ice that surrounded it, and the slivers of ice that came off the frozen structures melted into steam against the floor tiles.

Whipping around, Snow saw that Lightning had pulled Serah away from the edge, along with a flushed and out of breath Xue. Pushing them back against the stairwell again and after making sure they were unharmed, his attention was caught by an enormous shatter as frozen shards rained down over his head. Instinctively holding his arms over the top of his head, Snow dashed forwards again to meet the newly freed dragon, pushing beads of nervous sweat off his forehead.

The Shiva sisters swooped down beside him, their lithe forms posed to attack as he felt the frigid breath of their presence wreath around him. A Cure spell brushed his shoulder as it passed him - Stiria had aimed it at Lightning. A flash of pink hair in his peripheral vision told him that she had gone after Yorun, leaving him with the dragon, and Hope with Serah. _Heh. Watch this, Sis._

Nix had already gone ahead, casting ice spells around the dragon and pirouetting out of its way, and Snow didn't hesitate to follow suit, sinking punches into the dragon's flank. It was tired already - he could see that, and he suspected it wouldn't take much more to reduce it to monster remains. The swirl of magic around him gave the orange lighting of the place an ice blue aura, and Snow cracked a small smile - with Shiva he was _not_ going to lose to this thing. _Let's show this thing how we really fight, hm?_

The Eidolon seemed to have heard his thoughts and Stiria and Nix gracefully combined into the motorcycle, leaving Snow free to clamber onto it. Kicking the bike forwards, he put his eyes on the target.

"_Cool em off!_" The spin of the vehicle slammed him against the dragon, but strangely, he felt nothing but the exhilaration of the momentum of the bike. A roar behind him quickly died as he leapt off the motorcycle; the Eidolon dismissed. Black smoke crowded his vision for a moment before the entire floor fell eerily silent except for the drip of melted ice.

Slender arms embraced him as he turned back to Serah, whose arms were firmly wrapped around his middle, and Hope, with a small smile on his face. Cracking his knuckles, Snow turned back to face the far side of the hallway. _Where's Sis?_

The sound of metal on metal erased the brief reprieve of silence. Weapons locked, Lightning and Yorun were about three quarters of the way down the hallway, with her left foot dangerously close to the side of the walkway. And beyond them, a glimmering something told Snow exactly what she was trying to prevent him from getting.

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><p>A growl of frustration fought its way past her teeth as Lightning tried to push back against the spear. She'd already placed both hands on the omega weapon's blade, but it wasn't enough. Just like the time she'd been attacked outside their home in New Bodhum, she was trying to push back against the force of the man and the weight of the weapon aided by gravity. Her left foot was sliding closer to the edge of the walkway, and she knew there would be <em>no<em> second chance if he did actually drive her there.

But she couldn't let him get the crystal - she knew that had been his goal all along, and the dead bodies around the altar several dozen feet away from them proved that.

His smile didn't touch his eyes when he noticed the strain in her arms. "Why don't you just... give up?" Biting her lip, Lightning shot back a glare. _If he thinks I'm giving up now, he's dead wrong. _

"You wish," she snarled at him, pushing her left hand harder against the top of the omega weapon, hoping Snow had the intelligence quotient to notice the situation and grab the crystal before Yorun overpowered her, which wasn't going to be long. Thumps behind her told her that Snow had indeed noticed, and she spared one small breath of relief. But the one heartbeat of relief was short lived - taking advantage of her lessening the force on her weapon, he thrust his spear up, sending her sprawling on her back against the cold stone floor.

Lightning let out a gasp as the breath was driven from her body; coughing, she tried to push herself up as arms supported her shoulders, shaking her roughly.

"Light! Light, please tell me you're okay..." Hope's desperate voice sounded somewhere above her head, and she impatiently brushed his hands off her, reaching for her weapon. Her blue gaze fixed on the sight in front of her - Yorun was rapidly catching up to Snow, and she could see that he would overtake him within the next few metres.

"I'm fine," she gasped out, pushing herself to her feet; but there was no way she'd get there in time now. Still, Lightning forced her body into a run with Serah and Hope chasing after her. Sending an Aerora from her left hand, she hoped to distract the man as he closed a fist around Snow's coat. The next blow would drive a weapon into him, and that _couldn't_ happen. _Shit... Why am I so useless...?  
><em>

Snow had punched aside the weak grasp of the cloth, but the motion caused him to stagger. The Aerora crashed into the ground beside the altar, cracking the stone and throwing the limp forms of death into the air. Lightning reached to flip the omega weapon into gun mode - she was a good enough shot to catch the man in the shoulder, and she only hoped that her bullet would catch Yorun before he closed his fingers around the crystal.

The bullet that left her gun smashed into the wall. It wasn't possible that she could have missed - she had a clear shot and Yorun hadn't been moving fast enough to dodge it - nor had he known she was going to fire. Stopping short, hands gripping her knees, Lightning gasped for air while clutching her weapon with one hand, sweeping her ice blue gaze around the room. _What the hell..._

She hadn't missed. Yorun was nowhere to be seen. _This is impossible... how the fuck could he have..._ Something slammed into her memories - she was back at the Guardian Corps Building. The moment she'd jumped onto the back of her Eidolon, the man there had disappeared into the teleport circle... and again at their home. _So he can teleport too?  
><em>

Hope's short breathing was beside hers, and Serah had rushed ahead to Snow, who was standing at the altar. His fist had just closed around what she could now see as a black jewel before something pulled her roughly away from Hope, grip closing around her neck. Lightning tried to fight back against it, struggling against the strangling hold, but the grip tightened, and she felt something sharp against her arm.

Choking for breath, her fingers closed around the arm wrapped around her neck the moment the _something_ pushed roughly against the top of her rib cage, and in that moment, Lightning felt absolute fear spike through her system for the first time since they'd entered the Tower. She knew what it was.

_Maker... no..._

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><p>A scream worked its way up Serah's throat when she saw what was happening, and she felt rough arms pull her back; she could feel Snow's erratic heartbeat against her back and his heavy breathing. The red eyed figure holding Lightning turned his gaze onto them; specifically, onto the black crystal Snow held in his other hand. Yorun appeared in a flash of smoke beside them; the indulgent smile on his face reminded Serah, sickly, of the way a teacher would at several misbehaving students he'd caught red handed. He held out a hand, fingers outstretched in their direction.<p>

"Now. Or else... well, need I really explain?"

Hope hadn't moved at all since, but now Serah could see that he was quivering, but whether it was from fear or anger she couldn't tell. His back was to them, but she saw him gripping his brand like it was the last thing he could hang onto before he snapped. It was so quiet in the room that Serah couldn't hear Xue, who was now crouched next to several of the bodies that had been flung aside in their frantic fight. The only thing she could hear was her sister desperately gasping for breath. _Maker, please, no... Claire..._

But her sister's icy gaze was clear when they locked eyes - Serah recognized the mix of fear, determination, and pain. But she wasn't going to let her do this this time. _Claire, there's no way I'm letting you..._

Snow's arm let go of her as he slowly made his way over to Yorun, whose smiling was widening with every inch Snow moved. His grip on the crystal was tight, though, and Serah took several tentative steps, carefully following him, keeping her eyes on her sister.

"That's a good boy... now give me the crystal, and you can have her back." She heard a growl of fury from somewhere ahead of her, but Serah couldn't tell whether it had come from Hope or her husband. The platinum haired teenager was advancing on the figure holding Lightning, and she saw Yorun narrow his eyes.

Serah didn't know what exactly happened next, and she didn't know who had made the first move. But within several heartbeats, Yorun had moved to Xue's side, gripping the now unconscious woman in one hand as several sections of the ceiling rained down around them; sparks still present in the air; obviously someone had cast a Thunder spell. She raised her hands to shield her head as several sections pelted down beside the walkway, only to be obliterated by the floor tiles beneath them. The smell of smoke reached her nose, and she coughed, trying to rid her airways of the acrid scent.

A small, choked whimper of pain somewhere near her made her look up; the tip of the weapon had disappeared against the cloth of her sister's uniform and she saw red. The same action seemed to snap Hope out of his stupor. Serah fought back the scream, tears forming at the back of her eyes. _Maker, please, Claire... no! _She tried to keep the images away from her mind, but there wasn't anything else to cling to. The only things she could see was the weapon pierced through her sister; unable to help her with magic while the weapon was still in her body.

"Lightning! Let her go!"

The sharp snap of a weapon hitting the floor interrupted Hope's desperate cry and Serah forced herself to look up again. The strange golden eyes were no longer amused, and Serah felt icy claws rake down her spine when she saw the clear malevolence in them. "I told you..." he hissed quietly at Snow, who was standing several feet away from her. "Give it to me, and you can take her." She saw him cast a look full of fear at her, then at Lightning, before walking forwards gingerly, holding the black crystal tightly. His gloved hands were shaking.

Serah found herself standing next to Hope, who was trembling. She felt her hands close around his shoulders, and instantly, he tried to pull away from her and towards her sister. She found the words tumbling from her lips before she could stop them.

"Don't... that's not going to help her. She'll be okay... alright?" Maybe the words were meant to comfort him, but Serah found herself desperate to believe them as well. _We'll be okay..._ _we'll be okay..._

A clench of cloth on crystal made them both turn around - the black crystal glittered ominously in Snow's hand for a moment before it was dropped into Yorun's outstretched fingers and she saw the smile return. Something heavy hit her left shoulder - the red eyed figure had thrust her sister roughly at them before he walked to Yorun and Xue. She felt the Cure spell rush over her skin before it reached its destination - she breathed a sigh of relief as the magic wiped the growing bruises on her sister's neck and whatever the weapon had done, as turquoise eyes fixed on her before flitting to Hope.

"You're okay..." Serah couldn't hold back the tears as she knelt by her sister, pressing her knuckles to her lips. She felt strong arms gently wrap around her as Lightning pulled herself to her feet. She buried her face against her neck, unable to control the rush of emotions.

"Stop fussing... Serah, honestly..." But the words held no force behind them, and she'd noticed the faint shadow of fear in her eyes. _You were scared too..._ Her sister impatiently brushed her off and raked her fingers through her hair as Snow came towards them, sighing. Serah met him halfway as he opened his arms to her silently. _You always know what I want... no, what I_ need. His arms became her protector as she leaned against him, and with the warm contact, Serah felt herself stop shaking.

She turned in time to see the fingers of Hope's left hand tightly twined with her sister's, and she let herself smile a little. _I was right to put my faith in him._

A low moan interrupted them, and she saw her sister quickly detach herself from Hope, bending down to grab her weapon off the floor. The moan had come from somewhere around the altar, and slowly, she followed Snow as he warily made his way there, their footsteps now echoing ominously off the cold stone floor.

_Who..._

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><p>Lightning found herself warier than ever as she carefully made her way to the altar, trailing after Serah and Snow. The moment she'd let her guard down had let Yorun... <em>Why did I...<em> Hating herself, she tightened her grip on her weapon, trying to calm her erratic breathing and heartbeat. Pulling in her next breath through her teeth, she pushed the memory of the knife scraping her top rib out of her mind.

It was hard to make out the source of the noise, but it took a few heartbeats to discern the mangled body it came from. Heartbeat hammering in her throat, she swallowed before making her way over to the corner of the raised platform that held the altar. A slumped form against the wall that she could now see was still breathing. Barely.

Serah had knelt down before her, hands clasped in her lap, before looking at her hesitantly. Lightning exchanged a glance with Hope, the look in his eyes confirming her thoughts: no amount of magic would be able to help now. And it was only then, as she bent down to more closely examine the injuries did she realize who it was. _How did he..._

"Save... my sister." The hoarse voice was barely audible, and she fought back the sudden urge to run.

"We will," Hope whispered softly from behind her. Lightning felt a small spike of irritation at his promise, but she let it go. _He doesn't need to hear me yell at him right now._

"Their next destination is Tythell, the sunken city. You have a map... find it." She felt bloodied fingers clamp around her left hand, and she forcibly suppressed the instinct to wrench her hand away. There would be no way she could rip the fingers from her skin. _It's the only thing... I can do for him. To hold on._

"We'll find her. Trust us." Snow. But for once, he didn't have his usual self serving hero attitude; he sounded like the person who had promised her he'd never let Serah down, the person who assured her things would be okay. _Huh. Guess you really... aren't that bad. Sometimes._

The fingers relaxed on her left hand, and Lightning fought the impulse to pull her hand back. She knelt there, motionless, beside her sister, who she was glad to see hadn't puked nor flinched, and for the first time, Lightning entertained the thought that maybe... maybe her sister didn't need as much protection as she'd thought. The next moment, she angrily shoved the thought away. _Because I'll never _stop_ protecting you... no matter what._ It was different with Hope.

_For some reason... I trust you. I trust the fact that you won't... _leave_, and that you can take care of yourself. Maybe I trust you more than I do Serah, but I promised too. And I promise, right here, right now, that I will never see you like this._ _That I will never have to hold your __hand like this; beyond my help. _

She rose to her feet, letting go of the limp digits that now only loosely wrapped around her hand. And just like she had noticed before on the battlefield, deadly soldiers suddenly looked ten years younger than they had in the moments they'd been alive. Even Yangt'zu, the man who had threatened them and ordered his soldiers to attack, who had looked so fearless and angry when they'd refused, suddenly looked vulnerable in death. _Really... how much older than me could he be?_

Nudging her foot through the glass shards on the floor, she noticed a small switch on the altar where the crystal had been set. Snow beat her to it, as she heard the groan of stone as something opened before them. A breeze swept into the floor they were in, washing away the sharp, metallic scent of blood and death, and brought in the smell of what she could only describe as spring; so unsuiting for their current setting. She caught the glimpse of a star filled sky in the deepening navy of the sky that was now open to them.

Lightning curled the gloved fingers of her left hand into a fist. Serah and Snow had already walked ahead of them into the outdoors, and she felt Hope tug impatiently on her arm. But she cast one more glance behind her, through the crimson and the glass. Closing her eyes, she steeled her will before making one final, silent promise to herself, taking in the soft pink glint of her sister's hair in the starlight, the stark contrast of Snow's black bandanna against his pale blond hair, and the expectant glimmer of Hope's sea green eyes.

_I promise... none of you will have to walk beyond the veil like this. Beyond the beyond._

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><p><strong>Okay, wow<strong>. **The ending to this chapter was _super_ deep to me, and I sincerely hope I got the tone of it right. D:**

**So anyways, Chapter 26 closes off the current arc, and I'm actually excited to move on to the next arc - I've pretty much got the whole thing planned already, and I'll spoil just one thing: the next major "city" so to say, is the "City of Angels." 8D But yay, some awesome things happened this chapter: Snow got Shiva! (imo, that bike is super win - if _I_ were related to Snow that bike would have disappeared a LONG time ago and he'd never know what happened to it. B) And he'd never get it back. *cackles*)  
><strong>

**Leave love as always in reviews, and I'll see you guys tomorrow! (:**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	27. City of Angels

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3**

**Thanks again to everyone who reviewed: GCFarron, OscarMerrionoz96, and Mylaervain! You guys flatter me with the compliments, ha; originally I started writing again on because I felt like I needed to improve my writing if I want that English minor, and what better way to play around with my style than with my dear Lightning? xD**

**Anyways, I'll shut up now and let you guys in on the chapter. Enjoy as always! n_n**

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><p><span>Chapter 27: City of Angels<span>

An icy cold breeze swept over her pink hair, and Lightning raised a hand to keep her bangs from blowing in her face. Several days of fighting through the pine forests northeast of Teh Rya had been fruitless - the city of Tythell was _supposed_ to be only a few inches northeast on the map, but either they were lost or they hadn't gotten there yet... which she doubted. _And if we're lost... I blame Snow, _she thought bitterly, remembering the incident two days ago.

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><p><em>Snow chased after her, big hand grabbing for her cape as she tried to dodge the swipes at her head. Cursing, she kicked her boot backwards into the stream, splashing water over him as she moved out of his range onto the other side of it. Ignoring Serah and Hope's giggles, she shot them a scowl. <em>

_"Awh, Sis, come on, please?" She wanted to slap the puppy dog eyed look off his face... and she would have, had he been in reach._

_Instead, Lightning had to content herself with a venomous glare. "_Hell_ no. Snow, if you're looking for some amusement, instead of chasing me, why don't you try to make Serah happy? I think there are some berry patches behind you, why don't you try making her a mud pie so she doesn't have to prepare food for a change?" _

_Snow had taken a step back at her sharp words. "Ouch, Sis. Really?" Pointedly turning around, Lightning crossed her arms over her chest and furiously scanned the trees. Spotting several dark shapes flutter overhead, she figured some extra food wouldn't hurt if it meant getting away from Snow. Striding into the woods near the bank of the stream, she pulled out her weapon. _

_She was only a few dozen feet in the woods when something large bounded out of the shaded verdant flora and into the clearing in front of her, before suddenly everything around her went still. Feeling her body tense, Lightning tried to pin the animal in front of her with a name. She racked her brain, but the only thing she could come up with was 'horse' and she knew it wasn't that. Whatever it was though, it was food, and it was looking at her with large brown eyes filled with curiousity; curiousity that was going to cost it. Poised with a graceful arc of its back; it was prepared to run if it sensed danger. _Beautiful, in a way that could only be applied to wild animals._  
><em>

_Probably less graceful when her bullet struck it right in the eye and it bucked once before sinking to its knees, flopping lifelessly to the ground. Pulling it by the neck, she let out a grunt when she felt its weight - she was going to look like an idiot dragging it back. However... _

_Lightning let a smirk cross her face at the thought of Snow. Here she was again, doing all the hunting while he was horsing around._ He_ was going to skin and clean this animal before she let him eat it. Relishing the thought of the big oaf trying to clean and gut an animal made her want to laugh - Snow looked like he had never done any survival work in his life. _

_Arriving back at the stream, her heart momentarily leapt to her throat - no one was there. Cursing, Lightning dropped her prey. She had been gone for all of ten minutes and they'd already managed to get themselves into some sort of trouble. _

_"Figures," she muttered under her breath. Dragging the carcass behind her, she looked around. Nothing seemed disturbed, and she hadn't heard anything out of the ordinary. Crunching through the foliage that grew in wild patches in the forest, Lightning strained her senses to listen for the sounds of human footsteps. Finding none, she glanced at the sky. There hadn't been anyone they'd seen for the last ten miles or so, and she figured that if she risked a shout she wouldn't bring on any unwanted pursuers._

_"Snow! If this is supposed to be your idea of a game, it's not funny! Get out here before I punch you." But there was no response. The problem was she didn't know which way they would have gone. There was a full three hundred and sixty degrees around the area they'd been in last and she didn't even know if she was on the right track or not. _

_If this was Snow's little hide and seek game... it wasn't funny._

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><p>Something poked her in the back and she turned to find Snow's expectant expression looking down at her.<p>

"What, Snow?" she snapped back, slapping away his hand.

He didn't move though, facing her glare straight in the eye. "Uhhh, Sis? You're supposed to be the navigator here? Where do we go? Or you're not sure where we are?" _Why is it that he always finds some way to get on my nerves?_

She poked him in the chest with a finger, forcing him to take several steps back. "I _would_ know where we were, if _you_ hadn't pulled Serah and Hope into that game of hide and seek. Seriously, Snow, when are you going to grow up? If you're so impatient to get somewhere, then why don't _you_ lead?"

Snow put on the look Serah always had when Lightning caught her looking through her stuff. "Awh, but Sis..."

She didn't give in though, tapping her foot as she rested one hand on her hip, pointing the other in front of them somewhere. "Go on, lead," she snarled back.

Casting a scared glance back at his wife, Snow cautiously took a few steps in front of her before stopping. "Sis..." She glared back, determined not to give in.

_If he thinks it's so easy to be me, then this is his chance to prove that he's not an overgrown kid. _She let out a snort as he began walking forwards, picking his way through the tall grasses that blew in their faces.

_Yeah right. Who am I kidding?_

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><p>Snow scratched his chin, trying to discern the direction they were supposed to be going in. He <em>thought<em> they were going northeast, just like the map had said, but then again, he wasn't sure - it was cloudy. And the constant glares from Lightning weren't making things any easier.

"Geez, if Sis was so annoyed she should have said something earlier..." he muttered to himself under his breath, crossing his fingers that she wouldn't hear him in the strong breeze. He let out a surprised yelp as his boot sunk into something soft - lifting it, he wrinkled his nose at the soggy brown mud that clung to it, earning himself Lightning's raised eyebrows as she passed him, snorting.

"It's water, Snow. Don't worry, it dries," she remarked dryly before putting one hand up to her hair, pushing it out of her eyes. He heard Hope giggle behind him, and he tried to shoot her a disdainful look. _She never gets tired of insulting me, does she?_

Slender arms embraced him from behind as Serah nudged her head underneath his arm. She was smiling too. "Don't worry, I still love you," she murmured, blue eyes sparkling with amusement. He tousled her pink ponytail affectionately, playing with the tendrils of cherry coloured hair that wound around his fingers.

"Yeah, I know, baby. Love you too," he replied amicably, feeling happier when he earned himself another delicate giggle. Grasping her small, warm hand in his, he pulled her along with him as he picked up the pace a little to catch up with Lightning, who was standing a ways off with Hope, a disgusted expression on her face.

She opened her mouth before Snow could say something in his own defence. "See, Snow? If you can't lead, don't bother. If you want to do something useful, keep Serah happy, okay?"

He pursed his lips at her. "Alright, alright, Sis, I get it. You're better than me, okay? I know that's what you want to hear." Her expression softened a little.

"Better." She raised a hand, pointing in the distance. "Looks like you're smarter than what I give you credit for, though, look what's there." He followed her gloved finger, squinting in the distance. A small blue edge awash with life several hundred yards in front of them and something glimmering beyond that.

Tythell. The City of Angels.

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><p>A weak twilight was touching the water's surface by the time they made it to the shores of the lake, turning the water several different hues of mauve and orange. Scuffling his shoes through the pebbles that lined the shoreline, Hope squinted into the gathering darkness. He could see a crumbling causeway down the shoreline that led to the city, and briefly, he wondered what sort of people would let their only connection to the land decay like that.<p>

A small crackle and the bloom of flames behind them distracted him as he turned, amused, to watch Serah struggle to start a fire. She was better now; had more magic at her control and could hold her own somewhat in a small scrimmage with a monster. _But she could do better. Oh well, I suppose the rest of us _have _had much more pr__actice than her... not that Light would let her fight to begin with._ The pink haired soldier in question was currently wading into the shallows of the lake, weapon drawn, looking for food... or at least something to shoot. How she was supposed to see prey in the deepening twilight, he didn't know, but Hope knew it was wiser not to ask.

Pulling the black gloves off his hands, he held them over the fire to warm them. "Good job," he commentated quietly to Serah, who had wrapped her arms around her knees, sitting beside him.

"Thanks!" Her happy quip just reminded him again of how stark the contrast was between her and her sister. Lightning would have cuffed him over the head for complimenting her before brushing it off impatiently. But thinking about her just made him remember the day back at Demonsoul Tower, the icy moments when he was sure they were going to lose her. The desperate clench of their fingers afterwards, and how he knew he wouldn't be the first to let go. Suddenly, Hope was glad it was getting dark; he felt a faint flush creeping up his cheeks and Snow, for one, did _not_ need to see that.

The big man plunked himself down beside Hope, rubbing his hands together as he dug in his coat for something. A few silent moments passed before anyone spoke - Serah was humming absentmindedly to herself, Lightning wasn't back yet, and Hope was trying not to think about her while staring at the fire.

"So. I figure we could all use a little history lesson before we go charging into Tythell first thing tomorrow morning, hm?" Snow's confident voice sounded off in the darkness that had gathered around them, eliminating any way of seeing anything beyond the warm circle of light the fire provided them. The strong wind had died down, and the flames barely flickered. A crunch of shoes on rocks sounded somewhere behind them.

The smell of water and other aquatic life hit the back of his nose as Lightning dropped a fish in front of them, still dripping with lake water.

"Sis, I was just about to start..." Hope watched Snow close his lips as she shot him a deadly glare, pulling her survival knife out of the red pack on her thigh and removing her fingerless gloves.

Flicking it open, she started to scrape the scales off the fish. "I wasn't stopping you." She sounded tired, and suddenly, Hope regretted the fact that he hadn't offered to help. A sideways glance told him Serah wore the same expression.

"Claire... you could have asked us to help..." Lightning silenced her with a look, and Hope quickly closed his own mouth. _She'll just get mad.  
><em>

"Anyways..." Snow coughed lightly, and Hope turned his eyes back to the big man who was holding several pieces of paper in front of his nose. "Tythell, as I think we all know, is... _was _the City of Angels."

The only sound Hope could hear now was the scraping of Lightning's knife and the crackling of the fire.

"Uhm, Snow?" Serah's voice piped up beside him, breaking the heavy silence that had settled upon them. "How did you... get those papers?" Hope followed her slightly suspicious and amused look. _That's a good question... Where _did_ he get them?_

"Well, see... I kind of... borrowed a few pages out of Teh Rya's library." Hope suppressed a frustrated sigh, and he caught Lightning rolling her eyes. Noticing their expressions, Snow quickly waved his big hands back and forth. "It's not like that! I mean, they were grateful, right? And they said we could help ourselves to stuff... so well, I went to the library and... yeah."

The scraping of the knife stopped. "I'm pretty sure, Snow, that they didn't mean '_rip a few pages out of our books'_, you know?" Lightning's voice was dry, and Hope could tell she was trying to keep her temper.

Snow coughed lightly again, and Hope briefly wondered if he was actually sick, or he was just trying to see how quietly he could do it. "Sis, don't pretend you don't want information before we go charging in there, hm?" Hope saw Serah grip her sister's arm; a silent warning. The scraping of the knife resumed after a few heartbeats.

"Anyways... let's see here... Tythell. It's an abandoned city... since the time of the War of Transgression. I guess it must have been hit pretty hard by the onslaught of monsters after it, though it's far from Oerba. I guess its citizens were less prepared or something. Anyways, that's not important. Tythell was the home of the Angel's Cathedral, the place where what we know as the 'Maker' was said to have departed the world he made. So that made Tythell an important place, because people used to come here to worship the Maker."

The Maker. The creator of their world; the being Orphan had wanted to call back into the world using the Door of Souls. Just thinking about it brought Hope back to Orphan's Cradle, and the echoes of its laugh brought on a slew of memories he didn't want. And what was so chilling was that now, there was another who wanted the same thing. Hope felt himself clenching his hands together. _We can't let that happen... right?_

"So why is it important? I mean... is the Eclipse going to happen there, or not?" Serah's voice sounded beside him again.

Snow playfully shook a finger at his wife. "Ah ah... I got this one. It doesn't mention anything about the Eclipse happening there... guess we'll find out soon, but what it does say is that there's a golden jewel sitting in the Angel's Cathedral, guarded by 'the Maker's Guardian'. Don't know what that's supposed to mean, but we can safely guess that this jewel is one of the four needed for the Eclipse. There's also something else here. Remember all that fal'Cie garbage? The one where it said we'd turn back to crystal if the fal'Cie who freed us is gone, or whatever?"

The silence was so thick that Hope didn't see why Snow didn't just continue.

"Well, I found something on that too. Fal'Cie _can_ free their own crystal servants, _if_ they choose for that servant to complete another Focus. And in that time... a servant is never _not_ a l'Cie. But whether a fal'Cie chooses to have their servant remember their focus is _up to them._ So, in other words..."

"... we just got toyed with like puppets." For the first time since Snow had started, Lightning spoke. "Think about it," she continued quietly. "We knew these people were searching for a fal'Cie's power to use the Eclipse, the woman from Teh Rya said as much. If they actually got it... it would have been beyond easy to brand us again, or whatever, since they seem to think our powers never left. So that means _Anima didn't die_, if they were able to..."

She didn't need to finish. Hope felt a familiar rush of anger consume him. So they had never really been in danger of being a crystal again - it had always been a lie to drag them into the whole mess because they had defeated the ultimate Cocoon fal'Cie. _So we've never been more than just puppets, waiting to be used again for their purposes. _

"I don't get it..." Serah's quiet voice cut through his thoughts. "If the Yorun person has the fal'Cie power, why doesn't he do this himself? Why doesn't he use his own power?"

Lightning let out a snort. "Probably wants us to do his dirty work for him... and we don't have a choice not to. He saw to that." She went back to gutting the fish, rummaging around the gravel for what Hope assumed was something to spear it on. The rustle of cloth grazed by his ear - Serah had gotten up to go over and sit on Snow's lap, asking to see the papers he'd 'borrowed.' Their quiet murmurs filled the air, and now with nothing else to do, Hope found his eyes wandering back to Lightning. He tried not to stare at her slender fingers, but it was hard, and he felt something else tug at him.

She hadn't noticed him staring at her - and he suspected if she did, he'd hear about it before long. The glint of her pink bangs in the firelight reminded him, almost painfully, of the other time he'd seen a harsh orange glow on the smooth tendrils. The moment where she'd almost died back at the tower. Feeling his hands curl into fists again, Hope forced himself to look away from her.

_I promised I'd protect you too, Light. And I _won't_ see you like that... ever again._

* * *

><p>Lightning delicately put a boot down on a rock - the harsh morning light bouncing off the cerulean blue waves lapping the shore was definitely <em>not<em> helping her see, and she could already tell that the crumbling causeway, worn from centuries of weathering and disuse was going to be a problem... especially for Serah and Hope. She wasn't too concerned about Snow - if he fell into the water, well, he could fish himself out.

Crouching down, Lightning scanned her blue eyes over their current setting. There wasn't a direct way onto the causeway itself... not that it looked safe. She could see cracks in the weathered white marble even from here, but hopefully, they wouldn't actually have to walk on the collapsing bridge. The stone looked like it would give way easily. _Especially with someone as heavy as Snow tromping around on it._

Narrowing her eyes, she could see some sort of passage underneath the main structure of the bridge - not the most ideal; sunlight was shimmering on several bright patches and she could see clumps of some sort of reedy water plant growing at regular intervals, but it was better than attempting to walk on the causeway and plummeting about two dozen feet onto the exact same result.

Hope pulled on her left arm, gloves meeting the black sleeve she wore on it. Shying away as always from the unfamiliar contact, she forced herself to relax. _I can't react like this every time he touches me. He'll think I'm angry at him or something like that..._

"Okay, okay... let's go." Pulling herself to a standing position was harder - Lightning felt pins and needles in her knees for a few seconds before the feeling passed. Joining Serah and Snow at the water's edge, she spied a few larger rocks that would _hopefully_ allow them to get onto the lower part of the causeway without getting to wet.

Beckoning them to follow her, she suppressed an internal sigh that she would have to go first... not that she was concerned that much about falling. _It's just that if I do fall because of some unsafe spot or whatever, Snow will never let me hear the end of it._ Gritting her teeth, Lightning took the first precarious step onto the roundish white rock. The contact between her boot and the smooth surface didn't produce as much friction as she'd hoped - her left foot slid slightly off the side and she had to place her other foot quickly onto the next rock before it slid off.

Almost skipping her way over the rocks, Lightning breathed a quiet sigh of relief when she saw that there were only a few more rocks to go before she reached the underground path in the causeway. _Good. I must look ridiculous hopping like that._ A rock cracked under her foot.

"Shit," she hissed under her breath, quickly moving to the next rock, before a final jump that took her underneath the moss covered marble overhand. Brushing her cherry coloured hair out of her eyes, she was surprised to find a thin sheen of sweat on her forehead, and she raked her hands through the wavy hair past her neck, rearranging it over her left shoulder.

Now that she was out of the sun, Lightning could see Hope and Serah trying to mimic her as they precariously made their way across the rocks, Snow bringing up the rear. She felt her heartbeat speed up slightly as they made one shaky jump after another. _Please be okay..._ Hope was first, and he was almost there when he misjudged the last jump, a few inches short.

Her hand went out to him before she realized she'd reacted to it, and their fingers met again, this time not holding each other because of relief, but because she knew she couldn't let go. A hiss escaped her lips as she felt his whole weight drag down on her slender body, and she tightened her other hand around his wrist, pulling.

His out of breath huff as she pulled him underneath the overhang, her breathing slightly faster as she tried to wring the strain out of her arms. His apologetic green eyes met hers.

"Sorry, Light." She stood up again before cuffing him in the head.

"Silly. Be more careful next time." She tried to sound stern, but her words didn't come out that way.

And for some reason, his demure giggle lessened the irritation she felt at the thought of Snow seeing her... _them_ like that.

Just a little.

* * *

><p>Snow cursed under his breath as he saw the sunlight play with the pink of Lightning's hair as she walked ahead of them, weapon drawn in case of monsters, Hope tagging closely behind her.<p>

"What is it?" Serah's concerned teal gaze looked up at him, expecting something upsetting.

He sighed, ruffling the top of his black bandanna. "Nothing. It's just unfair that Sis never gets mad at _Hope_ for doing something stupid, and she picks on _me_ at the slightest thing that pisses her off." He tried not to sound disgruntled and whiny - he knew Hope was a kid, and she saw him, or rather, she _knew_ he called himself a hero, and she assumed he could take care of himself. _Still doesn't make it fair though._

Serah's bell chime giggle sounded by his shoulder. "Oh, Snow, you know Claire has a soft spot for him. Don't make her more self conscious about it, mmkay?" _And of course this is about her and not me._ Still, he _was_ amused, he had to admit.

"Alright, baby. I know, I know." She placed a finger on his lips, amusement dancing in her blue eyes, her other hand finding his - their fingers intertwined.

She lowered her voice by several decibels, her next words coming out as a playful whisper. "I told you, if you want to see more, don't mention it to Claire." He laughed again, pulling her waist to him with his free hand.

"Got it, baby."

The sunlight that flickered through the open spaces in the cracked causeway above them hit the back of his head at different intervals, and Snow began to feel the first beads of sweat gather at the back of his neck. Even with his and Serah's quiet, playful converation, far away enough that he was quite sure Lightning and Hope wouldn't be able to hear them, Snow found himself wishing the mossy passageway they were walking on would end soon. The air in the place felt dead and he could taste the scent of decay and mildew in it. _At least there aren't any monsters..._

The thought had barely formed when a pudding arm raked its way in front of him, and he heard the sound of a weapon click. Roughly pushing Serah in her sister's direction, he punched the arm as the flan melted its way into his view. _Gross._ The Rust Pudding swiped another arm, clearly angry that he'd hit it.

"Relentless Assault!" The sharp command split the still air as several spells rained down on the gooey monster at the same time. Snow prepared himself for a Blindside as Hope's Aerora momentarily distracted it and it oozed its way over to him and Lightning. The blow sent the monster flying into the air, and he didn't waste any time jumping up after it, sinking several more punches into its body. Landing after the monster made a distasteful _splotch_ on the marble ground, Snow eyed the area carefully, looking for more monsters.

But there weren't any more, and even with his limited vision in the partially light passageway, Snow doubted more would come. He'd probably just surprised this one. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the bright daylight just thirty yards or so ahead of them. Lightning was already clambering agilely over the rocks that had crumbled to form a way up. He pushed Serah up ahead of him, and the first thing he did when his head met fresh air was take a deep breath: it felt good after the dank air in the tunnel.

Something prickled at the back of Snow's neck - he knew it was safe, or Lightning would have said something by now, but he couldn't shake off the uneasy feeling that there was something wrong. _Maybe I'm being a paranoid jerk..._

Serah was standing near the top of the end of the old causeway, looking around, and as he moved up to join her, he felt the familiar touch of her skin on his hand.

"It's pretty... in a sad way."

Snow cast a glance around at the worn white marble of what must once have been a glorious city. The marble made up most of the houses he could see, and several other places besides - a stone circular building that looked vaguely like the stadium in Nautilus, and in the centre of the town, past other, albeit smaller causeway, the glittering golden Cathedral of Angels.

_Maker... That's where you left this world, isn't it?_

And even as he followed Lightning's cautious steps into the marble roads of the outermost areas of the city, the serene contrast of bright blue on pristine white couldn't shake the feeling from the back of his mind.

_Something's here. I know it._

* * *

><p><strong>Well. I really enjoyed writing this chapter, and I kind of hate myself for saying it, but the LightxHope parts were so fun to write. I'm trying to portray them right... especially because there's a question of "what are we?" when they're together. I personally thought it was cute, though. <strong>

**The circular stone building Snow mentioned was a coliseum, I wasn't sure if the XIII crew would know what that was. Same with the thing Light took down in the beginning - that was a deer, and tbh I'm not sure if they'd be familiar with any of those. Cocoon, you confuddle me. I mean, I know there's the Coliseum in Serendipity in XIII-2 but I don't think it's quite the same thing - the idea I have in mind is the original Roman style of the coliseum. **

**Enough of my rambling. I have work after class tomorrow, so the next chapter will be up on Thursday (I'm sorry to make you guys have to wait! D:). Leave love as always in reviews, and I'll see you guys then! (:**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	28. Trembling World

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR!**

**Once again I thank my reviwers: GCFarron, Mylaervain, and OscarMerrinoz96. (And yes, for sure think Romanesque for the remainder of this arc - glad you guys think I got it right!) You guys are awesome. **

**So this chapter is again a little late, seriously, RL is being a bitch right now. I have exams coming up as I am hopefully graduating with my Bachelor's in Pharmaceuticals, we're moving back to Japan as I got accepted by the University of Tokyo for my graduate degree, and yeah, a whole bunch of RL garbage I really don't want to deal with.**

**That being said, the next few chapters might be posted sporadically, as RL is really kicking me where it hurts at the moment. I'll let you guys know if it's not a daily update - I have my schedule for the next week or two, but I see erm, time I can use to write, ha. Anyways, enough about my personal troubles, enjoy as always. (:**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 28: Trembling World<span>

A small breeze lifted the ends of Serah's pink hair as she brushed a stray strand behind her right ear. She was glad her sneakers didn't make much sound on the white concrete floor as she walked hand in hand with Snow. She rested her head on his shoulder, right ear brushing the fabric of his coat and she felt him thumb her skin. Giggling, she gently pushed his fingers away, earning herself a surprised look.

"Not now," she murmured quietly. "Claire's watching." Giggling when she saw his exasperated expression, she pulled her hands behind her back. Dancing off out of his reach, she heard him laugh as he chased after her.

Serah heard an irritated sigh somewhere in front of her. "Honestly, Serah, you'd think the guy was five years old. I don't know what you see in him. I really don't." She looked up into her sister's icy blue eyes.

"That's because you're not married. You don't get it. When you find your _someone_, you'll see." Lightning only rolled her eyes before turning away from her.

"_Right._ Whatever you say, Serah." Serah pulled on her arm again, forcing her to look back. She hoped she looked serious at the moment, because if she looked like the way she usually did with Snow, her sister wouldn't take her seriously.

"I'm serious, Claire. You should find your own life... you _need_ someone, whether you want to admit it or not."

Lightning let out an amused snort. "Sure, Serah, whatever. You know perfectly well I'm not interested in dating." There was a brief pause as she accented her last sentence with a scowl. "Besides... Why the _hell_ are we even talking about this? Urgh, Serah, stop distracting me." The sound of boots on concrete told her she was walking away, as Serah raised a hand to touch the bottom of her chin. _Oh Claire..._

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath as Snow caught up to her, his hands resting on her stomach.

"What was that about?"

Gently, easing his hands delicately off of her, she turned to him, wrapping her own arms around his neck, pressing her lips to the hollow in his throat. "Nothing. Just teasing Claire."

Snow laughed. "She doesn't look very happy," he remarked.

"Nope... because it was one of her _sensitive_ topics."

She felt the arms tighten around her waist as he hummed into her hair. "Ahhh, I see. Anything I should know about?" Giggling, Serah let go of him as took a step back, admiring his expression.

"No, because then she'll be even more annoyed than she already is. Come on, let's go before she gets angrier." Pulling his hand again, she led him to where her sister was waiting, Hope a few steps away from her, with an impatient expression on her face.

_The people I care about... are all here. What wouldn't I give to keep this close beside me forever?_

* * *

><p>Lightning pulled a short gasp of air between her teeth as she scaled the cement side of the white marble house, using her stone pipe that hung over its side to pull herself. She let out the breath as her knee bumped the rough stone, and she stood, shielding her eyes from the brilliant sunlight that reflected in millions of sparkles off the bright blue water. From here, she could see the entire expanse of the city spread beneath her, and the golden shine of the Cathedral of Angels in the near distance.<p>

And then, it happened again. The same feeling that someone was watching them. She didn't know who it was, and quite frankly, didn't care. They'd already been warned that Yorun was heading here too, and she was tired of his usual tactics to draw them out into battle. _Bring it. I'm waiting right here._

But of course, nothing came her way except the gentle breeze that lifted the wavy strands of her pink hair an inch or two off her left shoulder. Lightning drew another deep breath, filling her lungs with the clean air, feeling herself relax a little. _It's been a long time... since I could actually let myself relax. _She narrowed her eyes at the cathedral. _And this time__, I'm prepared for the moment I walk in; not caught in the dark of a plan I don't understand. _Her slender hands curling into fists, Lightning found that she was actually happily anticipating the moment when she held the omega weapon in Yorun's face.

Maybe not the healthiest daydream for a young woman, but she didn't really care. _The creep's messed with my life one time too many._

"Light? Light, are you okay?" Hope's voice came from somewhere below her, and she realized that she had taken too long to be simply 'taking a look around'. Walking the two steps to the edge of the room, she felt the air embrace her for a brief heartbeat before she bent her knees to absorb the impact of landing on the cement ground where he and her sister was waiting.

"Sorry," she muttered quietly. "Come on, let's go."

She led the way up the avenue, Hope and Serah trailing closely behind her, with Snow taking up his usual place at the rear, when she heard a _crack_. Whipping out her omega weapon, Lightning turned, expecting an enemy to emerge from the rooftops. Instead, she watched a blue wall of water rise from the place where they'd entered Tythell and slowly begin to submerge the parts of the city they'd just crossed. A moment of panic crossed her mind as Snow bolted forwards, pushing Serah in front of him before she snapped into action, pulling Hope by the collar as they fled up the avenue, footsteps echoing loudly in a place where it appeared only the rolling waves could hear them.

As her feet pounded up the steps at the end of the street, Lightning cast one glance behind her, pushing Hope up before her. The blue line was slowly making its way up the white cobblestones; she guessed it would only take the water around half an hour to get to where they were now. She didn't know what had broken, if indeed, anything had broken by itself, but it didn't really matter. _We need to find higher ground... now._

The same uneasy feeling nagged at her, and somehow, she knew the 'accident' wasn't an 'accident'. _Whoever the fuck this is,_ she thought furiously as she took the stairs three at a time_, had better watch themselves._

Lightning drew her weapon again, feeling its weight in her right hand.

_I'll make sure of that._

Out of breath as they climbed the stone stairs up into what looked like it had once been a wealthier district, she wasn't paying as much attention to her surroundings as she should have been. Bumping into Snow, who was standing there uselessly in the middle of a wide street, she tried to shove him out of the way, unable to see over his head as to exactly what he was staring at.

He elbowed her back, pushing her forcibly into Hope.

"What the fuck..." she began, angrily shoving his arm out of her way. And only when she moved his thick, beefy arm did she see, indeed, _what the fuck_ he was staring at.

Cie'th.

She didn't know how the hell they'd gotten there as she pushed Serah behind her and Snow. Only one thought crossed her mind as the Cie'th turned around, spotting their new prey. _I thought Snow said this place was long since uninhabited. _Lightning gritted her teeth, a low snarl making its way through her tightly pressed together lips. _Either he can't read for shit or someone was waiting for us and dumped these freaking Cie'th here. _It didn't really matter at the moment, with the water closing in on them on one side, and Cie'th blocking their way in the other. But if Snow really had the reading ability of a three year old, well then... _He'd better hope I'm in a good mood._

A fist closed in her peripheral vision as Snow lowered his upper body into his attack position. "Time to send them on their way, Sis?"

"Tch. Like we have a choice." She pushed herself forwards several dozen paces - the more space between the monsters and Serah, the better. Aiming her weapon's gun mode at the head of the first one, Lightning let out a hiss of anger that the first bullet didn't take it out - this was no ordinary Cie'th.

"Tri-Disaster!" The spell that left her left hand crashed into the cobblestones as she readied it for another Thundaga. The wind spells Hope was throwing at it didn't seem to be doing much to them either and she could hear Snow's surprised grunts. _Just what the hell are these things?_

Her question answered itself before she could curse out loud - a black spell was sent her way before she had realized the Cie'th could attack back with magic. She rolled to the side - most of the spell had missed her but she'd felt an impact on her shoulder.

That one impact was enough to make her stagger, shoulder hitting the wall of a building. Shaking her pink hair out of her eyes, Lightning tried to pull up the name of the spell as she pushed off against the side of the building back at the monsters.

And it was only when she backflipped to avoid a second spell aimed at her did the name rise to the top of her mind: Death.

_Shit.  
><em>

She wanted to cry out, to warn Snow and Hope before they learned that the hard way, but the spell had affected her more than she would have liked to admit, and her head spun. _Urgh, pull yourself together, Farron. You're supposed to be a soldier, not a scared victim.  
><em>

"Snow!" Her sister's shriek sounded dangerously close to her left ear and Lightning whipped her head in the big man's direction. The Death spell caught him in the back as he was pummeling away at another Cie'th. And before Lightning could stop her, Serah had run to her husband, screaming at the top of her lungs, catching him as Snow gasped for breath.

Her body moved before she was conscious of running. Roughly pulling her sister back, Lightning raked her free hand through her hair hastily before turning back to the monsters.

"Serah," she hissed. "You're going to have to fight. You ready?" She didn't like it - every single instinct screamed at her to push her sister out of the way of a fight, but she had to accept that with only her and Hope there was only certain defeat, and there was no way in hell she was going to let that happen.

But the look her sister gave her wasn't the scared look she was expecting. The grim determination in the clear blue eyes took her by surprise for a moment - perhaps this was the same conviction Serah had had when... _This isn't the time to be sentimental_, she angrily chided herself. Giving her a brief nod, Lightning forced herself to move forward again - there were thee Cie'th left and two were rapidly closing in on Hope.

"Bully!" The Slow spell brushed her shoulder, and Lightning allowed herself a fleeting smile. If there was one thing she noticed Serah was good at, it was the Slow spell. Feeling the Bravery envelope her, she brought the omega blade down on the nearest Cie'th's head. The monster instantly whipped around, flailing arms aimed for her head as she shoulder rolled to one side, aided by the Haste.

Using Blitz, Lightning swept the area around her, effectively knocking the Cie'th she'd just struck off its feet. The second Blitz hit all three of them as she felt black smoke curl around her shoulders for a fraction of a heartbeat before dissipating.

_Two more to go._

Readying her gunblade, Lightning put herself in front of Hope and Serah. "Get ready for Tri-Disaster the moment I move," she hissed out of the corner of her mouth. The two Cie'th were slowly moving towards them, but she could see the slight advantage they'd gained since the battle started: they had effectively swapped sides with the Cie'th, with them being closer to the higher ground they needed to get to, and the blue line she could see was steadily advancing on the Cie'th.

She moved the moment they came into range, frustration and desperation fueling her movements. _I can't lose this...!_

"_It's over!"_ The blade and bullets made sickening sounds on the tough skin of the Cie'th she was targeting as she kicked it aside, moving agilely between the various spells that were also targeting the Cie'th. Flipping forward to avoid a Fira, she set her eyes on the next Cie'th, readying herself to attack. The wash of cold water that touched the back of her boot told her that there wasn't much time left to win this.

The blast of magic hit the floor in front of her, and her instant reflex was to raise her weapon in front of her eyes to shield them.

_"I'm not giving in!" _Lightning moved in the moment the last surge of energy from Hope's spell disappeared, slamming her blade into the Cie'th as a Flamestrike. The weight on her weapon vanished as the black smoke surrounded her. Even though she was out of breath and panting, Lightning didn't stop to catch it as she moved to Serah, who had gone to Snow. There wasn't time to cast curative spells at the moment - the icy cold wave was licking her feet and there wouldn't be any time to waste if they didn't want to drown.

Hoisting Snow's arm over her shoulder, she let out a grunt as he leaned his weight onto her. She shot him a glare.

"You're heavy, did you know that?" Snow's exhausted blue eyes twinkled back - he was still gasping and he looked pale.

"Heh... thanks for the compliment, Sis."

* * *

><p>Hope followed Lightning as she hoisted Snow up above her - she looked tired, and frankly, he didn't blame her. His feet dug into the spaces between the white stone - he tried not to look down. They'd climbed up several roofs before reaching the wall that lead to the inner city. The white beneath them was slowly being covered by a blue expanse, and he swallowed. <em>How are we going to get out...?<em>

But this wasn't the time to worry about that; his fingers gripped the stone ledge of the inner city and he pulled himself up next to Lightning, who, he was surprised to see, was sitting on her cape on the ground. _Weird... Light never admits she's tired, and she hates..._ Her short, quick breaths beside him told a different story - she was breathing too hard and her normally pale face was slightly flushed. Her fingers were white against the omega weapon on the floor.

Serah was sitting with Snow several feet away - the big man still looked worn out from the single Death spell, and Hope felt himself shudder involuntarily - he didn't want to know what that felt like.

A scrape of metal against stone made him look up in surprise; Lightning had gotten up. A quiet groan of fatigue escaped her lips and Hope saw her press her fingers to her left temple for a moment before sweeping pink bangs to the side.

"Come on... we'd better patch up the _hero_, or we'll never get anywhere." Her voice was as crisp as usual as Hope picked himself up from the white stones and followed her. Ripping off her left glove with her teeth, she knelt next to Snow, an unreadable expression in her eyes. "Looks like the hero needs some help, huh?"

"Shut up... Sis." Fighting back the amusement, Hope knelt down on Snow's opposite side, edging in beside Serah. He cast a sideways glance at her - he knew Lightning wasn't happy about the fact that she'd had to fight, but she looked okay, apart from looking scared to death about Snow; fingers pressed to her lips.

He reached a hand to her, unsure of how to comfort her, unsure of how to even begin saying anything. "Hey... It'll be okay, alright?" His words sounded lame even to him, but she smiled a little, her lips pulling up into a small curve.

"I know. I trust you." He flinched a little at her words, glancing over at Lightning, who was watching them with the same unreadable expression. Maybe she was tired, but he couldn't really tell, surprisingly - she wasn't usually that hard to read most of the time. Turning his attention back to Snow, he pushed the other matters out of his mind; they could wait.

It took a little more than usual to force the Cura spell from his left hand - this time he could actually feel it tapping into his well of magic. As he lifted his hand after the spell had left it, his fingers accidentally brushed against Lightning's; the momentary contact made them both flinch as he quickly drew his hand away. _Crap._

"Sorry!" His apology came out rushed and he hoped he didn't sound _too_ desperate.

"Huh. Don't worry about it." For some reason, she didn't react the way he expected her to; her voice was soft and didn't have her usual crisp, snappish tone in it. He stole a glance in her direction. _I was expecting her to get mad... Maybe that's what I'm used to from her. She _would_ have gotten mad if it was Snow... I don't know._ The rustle of cloth sounded dangerously close to his ear as Snow jumped to his feet. A big hand came down on his head.

"Thanks, kid." Hope hastily tried to reflatten the hair Snow had tousled up as the big man moved towards Serah, murmuring words of comfort in her ear. A sudden steel grip on his arm jerked his attention back from his thoughts.

"You're going to stand there all day looking at them? Come on, we have somewhere to be." Lightning, and she sounded like herself again. Prying her grip off the sleeve of his orange jacket, he trailed after her and Snow, feeling even more confused. _Is she tired... or not?  
><em>

Rubbing his face on his sleeve to clear his head, Hope fingered the boomerang in his pocket as he followed their pace up the street.

_What was that... a few minutes ago?_

* * *

><p>Nighttime was falling as Hope crawled his way up to the rooftop where they'd agreed to stay for the night. Snow, for once, had actually picked a good spot - from here he could see all the way across the lake to the mainland they'd come from, and the slight shimmering of stars and the moon on the slowly flooding lower part of the city. His emerald eyes narrowed as he found what had broken - a levee that had held the lake water back from the opposite side of the city. There was a gaping hole in the stone cement evident even from here and he could still see the slow surge of black water moving through the cracks.<p>

Whether it had broken after hundreds of years of weathering, just like the causeway, or something else had triggered it, he didn't know. It was impossible to tell, but from the look on Snow and Lightning's faces it was clear they thought the latter.

A small, timid poke in his back made him look around - Serah held a small rag filled with berries and other edible plants that he remembered she'd gathered in the woods with Snow from before. Plucking one from the pile, he murmured a thanks to her as she made her way to Snow, leaning her pink head on his shoulder.

He felt a pang of jealousy, not for their love, but for their _certainty._ There was no doubt that she'd remain with him for Maker knew how long, and that he'd be there for her. A promise his mother had made him, wordlessly, so many years ago before that delicate certainty was snatched away and crushed like a fragile blossom in a storm in the wake of the Purge. And there was the other promise, the one Lightning had made him. A small creep of heat made its way up his neck when he remembered how it was delivered.

She cared, he knew that. In what way, he didn't know. Maybe she didn't know either. But in that moment, in the dying orange sunlight sparkling off the rolling waves of Palumpolum, she'd made him a promise and he'd returned it. Hope found his fingers clenching into a fist as the enormity and sincerity of those hastily spoken words echoed through his memories.

_I promised... too._

And there was no way he was letting this promise be broken like the weakest link in a fragile chain that was held in hands that didn't belong to him. Not this time.

A small nudge in his back nearly made him jump out of his skin, as he whipped around quickly.

"Light! Don't scare me like that..."

She laughed a little, brushing aside stray strands of pink hair. "What? Did that really scare you? I didn't know you were so easily spooked." Her tone held a mix of amusement and disapproval, as he got up hurriedly.

"H-Hey, that's not fair-" he spluttered indignantly.

"What's not fair? If you space out like that, it's not my fault. Go to sleep, okay?" The last four words held the layered intent of a command, and he forced himself to meet her icy blue eyes. She meant it.

"But..."

The glare silenced all further protests he might have had. "Don't argue with me." With that, she turned around, settling herself at the edge of the rooftop, facing the sparkles of light that danced off the waves of the lake. He heard her sound of effort as she sat down, resting her chin on one hand.

"But you're tired." He saw her whip her head around, surprise and annoyance sparking in her turquoise eyes.

"Look, Hope, I don't have the energy to argue with you. Just go to sleep, okay? Stop worrying about me."

He wasn't backing down that easily. Serah and Snow might have easily bought it - he suspected Snow was too tired to care and Serah had thought better of arguing with her sister, but _he_ wasn't going to let her wear herself out again.

"Light-"

The next words, now sharp with genuine annoyance and anger, made him take a step back. "Hope, shut it. I know you care, and thanks for the appreciation, but I honestly don't want to start an argument right now. Yeah, I'm tired, but we all are." A pause as she took a breath - he could tell she was trying to keep her temper. "Some things in life you just do, okay?" The finality in her tone warned him not to argue back, and he knew it wasn't worth actually making her angry at him. _But still... Light..._

He found himself a corner where he could lean his back against the rapidly cooling stone of the next roof. He felt his heartbeat hammering away in his throat - she hadn't spoken to him like that since the Vile Peaks, and it made him feel _inferior_, in a sense, that he'd made her angry at him again. His fingers traced a meaningless pattern on the stone rooftop.

_"Some things in life you just do."_ The exact same words she'd said to him in the Nutriculture Complex. He hadn't really understood that then... but then again, he hadn't understood the true meaning of 'sacrifice' then. But he did now - sacrifice wasn't something that took him away from what he loved; between her, Fang, and Vanille, he'd learnt that sacrifice encompassed something much deeper. It was possible to die for something... possible to die for _someone._

And the last thing he remembered before sleep took him on its gentle and comforting journey was that one day, he would repay her for... everything. One day.

* * *

><p>Lightning pulled her limbs against her chest as the dawn turned the water into mixing hues of red and orange. Rubbing her face for a moment, she took a breath before pulling her hand through her pink hair. She cast a guilty glance over at Hope; she'd been short with him last night and she hadn't meant it to be like that. <em>I'll have to apologize... soon enough.<em>

Snow, as usual, was snoring away like the idiot he was, draped over Serah like a protective blanket. She suppressed an amused smile, shaking her head slightly as she got up to stretch the limbs that had been in the same position all night. The lack of sleep was going to get to her soon, she knew that, but for the time being...

Swiftly delivering a kick to Snow, she moved away and jumped down into the street below, landing softly as she heard a yell of indignation somewhere above her head. She crossed her arms as his head poked over the white rooftop.

"Seriously, Sis? Do you _have _to..." His words cut off as he narrowed his blue eyes at her. "Did you get _any_ sleep at all last night?" Lightning pushed back a groan of irritation; if _Snow_ had the brains to notice then she had to look horrible. _Oh well..._

"None of your business," she snapped back, turning the back of her head to him. A loud thump behind her announced his arrival as rough hands pulled her around again. She found herself facing Snow's 'serious look' as she roughly slapped his hands off her.

"Don't pull this crap on me, Sis. You look like..." She waited as he struggled, clearly trying to come up with the correct combination of an adjective and a noun, crossing her arms.

The rustle of cloth and a small grunt of effort told her Snow had woken up both Serah and Hope as they landed behind Snow, Serah dusting off the dirt from her pink skirt.

She found the slight bubble of anger rise in her stomach as Snow looked clueless, glancing at Serah for help. "While you think of a word, Snow, let me tell you something before you say them. _I don't care._ Got it?" To prove her point, she pulled out her omega weapon before turning around and beginning to walk.

There was really only one way to go - she could see the large, round stone building just up their current avenue - from her vantage point the night before, she knew that the cathedral they were hoping to get to was beyond the building. The morning sunlight was already turning harsh, but she resisted the urge to sweep her hair off the back of her neck - their footsteps were in silence and she knew it was because no one wanted to test her currently simmering temper.

_Good.  
><em>

She couldn't hold back the sigh of relief as shade hit the top of her head when she entered the overhang of the building. There was a tall hole that she could only describe as leading to blackness, and somehow, the place made her uneasy. There was something... something about the place that made her reluctant to go inside. Maybe it was because darkness reminded her all too well of the last 'dark' place she'd been in... but the place seemed to whisper death and she didn't like it.

Her footsteps echoed ominously as Lightning cautiously took the lead into the place. It was a straight hallway at the very least; even an idiot like Snow wouldn't have any trouble following her. The darkness of the place was suffocating; it wasn't like the Demonsoul Tower where the walls had given the sense of a prison. In here, she felt like the whole earth was pressing down on her from every side - like being buried alive.

A dim blue glow disrupted the constant blackness of the hallway - the only thing she could hear was her breathing and heartbeat, and footsteps, both hers and several sets behind her. And suddenly, the place opened up into a wide circle, like the stadium in Nautilus. Fresh air brushed past her skin, but she didn't notice that now.

What had caught her attention was a stone statue in the middle of the wide open area.

The statue was of a single being of an indeterminate gender, whose hands were bent behind it in a posture Lightning could only describe as painful, bearing a silver sphere on its back. And only with cautious, silent steps towards it and closer scrutinizing could she find a term for the sphere.

The figure held the world on its back.

And in the moment her hand reached out to touch the stone being, a stone slab closed over the entrance they'd come in, cutting off means of going back and possibly their only means out. Her blue eyes swept over the rest of the place, taking in her surroundings for the first time. Rows and rows of what she could only assume where seats rose above her head, into heights she knew she could never even begin to try to jump to, but they were separated from even those by a round stone ring that rose above Snow. It was smooth - she couldn't see any handholds that would allow them to climb up. Lightning found growl of anger beginning to rise in the back of her throat.

_What the hell is this place?  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Whew. <strong>

**Okay, so yeah, I did it again. *shrugs* Cliffhangers are my thing, mmmkay? To be honest, my favourite segment in this chapter has to be those middle ones with Hope there: it was deep and I liked it - it was a good part to write and experiment with words and I needed to explore that particular part of Hope's character anyways.  
><strong>

**Anyways, I'll leave interpretation of events up to you, and uhhh... yeah. I tried describing Death in this chapter, but honestly, I wasn't too sure how. I mean, think about it - you get knocked out in the game if it succeeds (even though we like to call it 'dying') and I wasn't sure how to portray that, because obviously the characters don't actually 'die' - they come back after you win a battle. And I won't even begin to speculate about how the hell you use a freaking Phoenix Down outside of gameplay, let's just leave those, Potions, and Elixirs outta this. xD**

** As always, leave love in reviews and I will see you guys next tomorrow!**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	29. Divine Judgment

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! 8D**

**Thanks again to my reviewers: Mylaervain, GCFarron, and OscarMerrinoz96!** **I'm glad you guys think I've got the character relationships and emotions right, that was a _big_ thing I was aiming for in this fic - to keep the characters as in-character as possible. **

**Moving on, some serious action and some badass brawling in this chapter, plus, well, a _big_ grand entrance, ha. I'll leave it to you guys to read on for the rest. Enjoy as always! (:**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 29: Divine Judgment <span>

Feeling her muscles tense despite the severe lack of sleep she'd gotten in the last few days, Lightning drew her weapon, trying to see in the semi-dark place. There wasn't anyone unfamiliar as far as she could see, and she could only hear her own short, accelerated breathing that sounded unnatural.

"Sis, what's wrong?" Snow's voice came from somewhere behind her, but she didn't bother turning around to face him.

"Something's here." The words were barely out of her mouth before she knew it, knew it with a certainty that rooted her to the spot. Maybe she was paranoid, and maybe she was being too sensitive and was overreacting, but her soldier's sense dictated her actions now - and there was no way an entrance would have disappeared without a trigger, just like there was no way a levee would have broken suddenly after five hundred years of stability.

Raking her ice blue eyes over their current setting again, she spotted a torch holder. There was no guarantee it would catch, but it was better than standing here like sitting ducks in the semi darkness. The Fira that left her hand took more out of her than she thought it would, and she shook her head slightly, trying to clear it. _I should really get some serious sleep soon._

Obviously, Snow had been right - her lack of sleep was messing with her head more than she thought it would, but there was no way she was going to admit that, especially in front of him. And Maker knew that if she couldn't function as well, how the hell was she supposed to protect Serah and Hope if there was actually something here? _Shit._

The flame flickered to life in the darkness, casting dancing shadows on the upper level of seats. And then she saw it - blood red eyes far up in the very tallest corners not brightened by the minimal daylight that penetrated the roof and barely touched by the flames' life. She hissed a curse before closing her lips - hating herself for showing frustration before an enemy.

"So glad of you to join us today. Did that pathetic Farseer Tribe leader tell you we were here? Oh, so sad." Lightning jerked her head up to the sound of the voice, locking gazes with a pair of blood red eyes. She had to admit she was surprised - Yorun wasn't here to greet them with his usual sadistic comments. _Or maybe he's just biding his time and decided not to show himself just yet... bastard, _she thought bitterly.

"What do you want?" she spat bitterly, hating the mocking tone, hating the contempt. _Death... is _not_ something to be toyed with; not something to be sp__oken of like that.  
><em>

"If I were you... I wouldn't be concerned about me and what we're planning. I'd be concerned about myself. See... this is the ancient coliseum of Tythell, where the inhabitants used to watch death fights for the own amusement." The man paused for a moment, letting the full impact of his words sink in, before ploughing on, every syllable becoming more falsified with honeyed tones. "And to reveal a way out... well, there needs to be a victor. And I wonder who the victor will be today."

Lightning grabbed Serah's arm, pushing her sister against the stone statue, sweeping her blue gaze over the wall. Not seeing anything, she turned her furious blue eyes back up to where the man had been standing, but he was gone. The ground under her feet trembled a little, and she tightened her grip on her weapon. _There isn't...anything here!_

She was completely unprepared for the leap of the first feral monster, claws hooking into the front of her vest, slamming her body into Serah's as they both hit the stone statue, hard. The short cry of pain was torn from her lips as she felt the claws dig deeper into her skin, struggling futilely to push off the heavy weight of the monster, acutely aware that she was squashing Serah underneath her. Pushing up with the blade of the omega weapon, she felt the weight lessen as the monster reared up in pain. Rolling out from underneath the claws, she took another swipe at it before it could come crashing down on Serah.

_Why the hell..._ Her lips were set to hiss at Snow for not coming to help before she whipped around at the sound of battle. Snow and Hope were several feet in front of them, engaging several more monsters and the sound of pounding claws on stone made her turn. Moving forward, Lightning held back the hiss as the movement tore at her clawed ribs. _Shit._

"Serah!" Her sister would have to fight... there was absolutely no choice and there was no doubt that what the man had said was right... if they wanted a way out they had to win. _Maker, I don't even want to _know_ how many monsters __this place could house._ The dash of soft sneakers behind her stopped her speculation in its tracks as she held a hand out to stop her sister from moving in front of her. "Stay... behind me."

"But Claire..." The protest was already clear in her sister's voice and she'd only spoken two words.

"Don't argue with me! Yin and Yang!" Her own Cure spell wiped the evidence of the monster that had crashed into her before she sent several at Serah. There was no way she was letting her sister pay the price for her own carelessness. But she was going to pay the price for not sleeping... _I'm really not sure the last time I slept... forty hours ago...maybe?_ She felt like she was dragging her limbs through water.

"Slash and Burn!" Moving forward again now that her ribs were no longer bothering her, she swept two Blitzes in a row in the area around her - the movement cleared the fuzziness in her mind for a few heartbeats before she aimed several bullets at the monsters, hoping to catch it in a paw. The sharp squeal cut through the air, and she allowed herself a small smile as the black smoke swirled around her. Panting slightly, she stopped to catch her breath.

But there was no opening. No way out as far as she could see.

"What the... I thought if we won, we'd leave?" Snow's voice came from beside her shoulder, but she was honestly too tired to come up with a snappy response, instead choosing to catch her breath. But Snow's question didn't need answering when the floor split in the centre beneath their feet. Springing back, pulling Serah and Hope along with her, Lightning watched as the monster slowly advanced towards them.

The Zinitra let loose a shriek.

* * *

><p>Hope backed away slowly from the flying monster that was creating small gusts of wind from its wings.<p>

"Nice birdy..." Snow murmured from his side as he pushed Serah behind him, readying his fists. _Who does Snow think he's kidding?_ Hope shot a glance at Lightning - she seemed okay except for the fact that she looked pale, dark shadows evident under her eyes even from here. _Light... I hope you're okay._

"Tri-Disaster!" Moving his boomerang at the moment of her command, Hope threw the Firaga at it at the same time Snow sent an Aquastrike at it.

"Snow, you fucking idiot!" he heard Lightning screech. Sending a second Aeroga its way, Hope avoided the first swoop of its claws as it raked them over his head, dodging away, he found himself next to a very flustered Snow as they both stared up at the monster. For the first time, Hope felt a claw of doubt hook him as he stared at the monster that didn't seem like it had been very bothered by their spells. _Can we...win this?_

"Come on, kid, we've got a monster to finish." Snow pushed him forwards as he jumped up with a Flamestrike; Hope breathed a sigh of relief - at least Snow seemed to have figured out why Lightning had sworn at him. The Aeroga that left his hand sent the monster flying into the air as Lightning slashed at it with her own Flamestrike. And when it finally staggered in flight, several spells later, Hope felt the drain of magic on his well of magic - this thing was tough.

"Diversity!" He threw the cure spells at Lightning and Snow - they had been up against the monsters while he had stood further back in front of Serah. Breathing hard as he paused for a moment, the tail of the monster swept over his head once, before slamming into his back. The magic left his hand instantly as he struggled to stand; thankfully the monster hadn't hit him right on. But he back away again as it reared into the air. _Something's coming..._

Hope didn't have time to react with some sort of spell before the Feeding Stoop swept over them like the impact of several tons of bricks. Knocked back, it was several moments before Hope found the strength to get to his feet, gripping Nue tightly. Wiping his hand over his cheek, he felt his own magic wipe away the marks of its claws, when he realized there was no one else attacking and Serah had shrunk against the wall; the monster had turned on her.

Lightning had her weapon stuck into the rock - she was propping herself up with it and he could hear her gasps for breath. Hope couldn't even see Snow until the flash of the white coat stuck out to him against the statue several feet away. Serah's cry of fear made him turn around and Lightning jerk her head up, but neither of them were in the condition to send another attack in the Zinitra's direction nor make it in time.

_Maker, please no... Someone help us...! It can't end like this!  
><em>

The moment the desperate thoughts permeated his mind Hope felt an explosion of pain in his left wrist. Dazed, he thought for a moment that the monster had decided to go for him and Lightning after all, and this was only the preliminary strike to what was assured as another brutal assault. Instead, he was greeted by the green flash of a summon circle as his brand began emitting a blue light, throbbing in time to his heartbeat.

The Eidolon suddenly appeared before him, silent and impassive.

_Alexander._ Hope felt the Eidolon's much stronger Cure spell sweep over him, freeing his body from pain and fatigue. Willing it to channel some power into healing Snow and Light, Hope turned his attention back to the Zinitra.

The monster seemed unduly unaffected by the summoning of the Eidolon, but at least it wasn't targeting Serah anymore. Throwing the Aeroga in its direction, Hope willed his Eidolon to follow. The Lofty Challenge left the monster pummeling away at the metal giant, leaving Hope free to cast spell after another in its direction. He heard the sickening punches as his Eidolon drew the enemy away from him and attacked it.

His last Firaga caught it in a staggered flap of its skeletal wings. _Alexander... I need your help!_

The Eidolon responded to his thoughts, transforming into the golden fortress. Hope clambered onto his Eidolon, eying the monster. It definitely looked much more battered now; wings flapping at an uneven pace and staggering a little, but that didn't make its claws less sharp. _We can't underestimate it_, he thought grimly.

"Clear the way!" Hope shielded his face and eyes from the blast as his Eidolon attacked with the cannon fire, sending shards of rock flying up into the air, shattering the ceiling that blocked the light from above. Sunshine hit the top of his head as the ceiling cracked and the entire place was flooded with light. _"Fire!"_

The blinding flash of light was followed by the tendrils of black smoke as Hope dropped to the ground, the Eidolon vanishing. He glanced up at the sky and the pristine white clouds that seemed to be such a stark contrast to the littered rock and cracked stone that was down here. A hand touched his shoulder, and he turned around, slightly surprised at the unexpected contact.

"Not bad." Lightning. Up close she still looked exhausted, but he felt the flutter of tiny wings of relief that she wasn't hurt. "Thanks."

He shrugged her hand off, not wanting to admit he was embarrassed at even that slight contact. _Light..._ Their eyes met; quickly looking away, not wanting to betray his emotions to her, he took a deep breath. "Yeah... It was nothing."

Snow slapped him in the back with one hand, the other holding onto a very dusty looking Serah. "Nice one, kid. Too bad you had to rain all that rock down on us..." He stopped when Serah gave him a playful poke.

"Don't be so ungrateful, Snow!" Hope watched as the poke quickly became a pinching war between the two, not sure if he was supposed to feel exasperated or amused. A quiet sigh of frustration from Lightning made him look up at her - she was raking dust out of her cherry coloured hair, and he saw her glance up.

"Light? What's wrong?" The question slipped out before he could stop it - she looked like she was thinking and he knew from experience she hated being distracted while she was thinking. He saw her shoot him a reproachful look, before letting out another sigh.

"Well, we won, right? Where's the way out?" The giggling from several feet away stopped and an eerie silence settled in the place. Blinking through the bright sunlight and stone dust, Hope tried to discern the promised exit, but it was as Lightning had said - he couldn't see one. He heard someone's footsteps crunch through the stone shards scattered on the floor.

Several loud cracks and several minutes later, he heard Snow yell above the sound of the shifting rock. "Hey guys, over here!" Exchanging a dubious glance with Lightning, who shrugged, he followed her and Serah as they made their way over to the sound of Snow's triumphant voice. The big man was standing with an enormous proud grin on his face and Hope could see a dark hole made into the stone barrier. It wasn't the way they had come in, but then again, they wouldn't have needed to go back the way they got in.

"See, Sis? Your hero's got this." The devilish tone of triumph was so blatant Hope didn't think he would be surprised if Lightning punched him.

He heard a disapproving snort by his right shoulder. "Forgive me if I'm not too impressed, Snow. We all know brute force has always been your forte." Brushing by him with another irritated huff, she led the way into the exit; Snow's mouth was open - he'd clearly been trying to think of a comeback.

"H-hey Sis, you're supposed to be impressed-" he spluttered as he squeezed after Serah into the hole. Hope had to hold back an amused giggle - the sight of Snow's bulk trying to fit in a hole in a rock wall that was just only slightly bigger than he was didn't look like it would bode well. He heard Lightning call back from somewhere ahead.

"_Problem?_ Don't tell me you actually expected me to be impressed, Snow._ You_ were the one who tried to Aquastrike that Zinitra - don't you know that Water elementals heal it? Or do you just have really bad memory that you can't remember?"

Stifling a laugh, Hope squeezed into the crevice behind the big man.

_At least you sound okay, Light._

* * *

><p>Snow stretched his arms as he emerged into the noon sunlight. Rubbing his eyes in the sudden brightness, he glanced around. They were certainly on the other side of the coliseum now, and he could see the smaller causeway that led to the cathedral. And there was no sign of the creeps that they'd met inside the coliseum either.<p>

Pulling his back into a stretch, he patted the back of his bandanna before cracking his knuckles.

"Alright! We got this!" He caught Lightning's eye roll as she crossed her arms, only to move one to press into her temple. _Man, Sis looks tired. Maybe we should..._

"Snow?" Serah's quiet voice came from beside him and he bent down a little to her level. She pulled one ear of his to her mouth - ignoring the disgusted look from Lightning, he complied happily. "We should rest. I'm worried about Claire." He hugged the top of her head slightly; he knew Serah would suggest it, and quite frankly, he knew they could all use the rest.

"You got it baby, leave this to me." Cracking a slightly evil grin on his face, he approached Lightning, who was observing him with a suspicious look on her face. But even the abrasive expression on her face couldn't hide the evident fatigue: she was even paler than usual and he could _see_ the dark shadows under her eyes.

"Hey Sis, time for a lunch break." He hoped he sounded offhand enough - even he knew directly suggesting she should rest would only earn him a slap and perhaps only a _few_ more insults.

"_Really_, Snow? Don't play games with me, I know exactly what you're gunning for." _Do you, now?_ She paused for a moment, shooting him another venomous glare. "I'm going to tell you exactly once. Shut up before I make you."

He waggled a finger in her face. "Ah ah, Sis. _Try._"

She growled in anger, blue eyes darkening with irritation. "You want to bet?" She raised a gloved fist.

Moving away from her first attempt at hitting him, he gripped her hand on the second, before putting on a serious face. "Seriously, Sis, have you looked at yourself in the mirror? You look like a zombie. Get some sleep."

"No."

"Claire... please?"

They broke apart, with her withdrawing her hand as she turned to her sister. Serah, to Snow's everlasting appreciation, was approaching them with the puppy dog eyed expression he knew for a fact worked on Lightning. The _only_ expression that worked on Lightning. He watched, half amused, as she lightly embraced her sister, whispering words he couldn't hear. But it didn't matter - if Serah could get it out of her then he wasn't going to interfere.

Looking away deliberately, he found Hope looking at the sisters with a rapture of interest. Pulling the platinum haired teenager aside, he dragged him down to the water's edge.

"Hey kid, I know Light's your heroine, but leave her alone, okay? Let Serah convince her... and this way she won't get mad at us for embarrassing her." Seeing the doubtful look on Hope's face, Snow let out a confident laugh again. "Trust me, kid, I know what I'm talking about."

The teenager looked down at his shoes. "She's not my _heroine_," he mumbled indignantly.

"Ha, really? Your face begs to differ." Seeing the slightly angered look on his face, Snow decided, wisely, to stop. "Okay, okay, kid, I'll stop. But why don't we get some food before Sis gets down here to kick my ass for being a jerk?"

The relief in the emerald green eyes was obvious, but Snow wasn't going to press. The kid would figure out just exactly what his relationship with Lightning was on his own and at his own pace - he didn't need to be pressured or influenced. "Okay."

Snow felt a smile stretch his cheeks and he cracked his knuckles again. "Alright! Let's see what we can catch in here. If Sis can get a fish, so can we."

* * *

><p>Returning to the main avenue fifteen minutes later with a dripping invertebrate in his hands, Snow spotted the pink hair of Serah on top of another roof. Handing the creature to Hope as he gripped the stone ledges of the wall to climb up, he reached his hand down for the pink creature so the teenager could climb up after him.<p>

"Snow, what the hell is that?" He jerked his head up in surprise; Lightning was sitting with her back against a wall, eying the thing he held in his hands with an expression of utter distrust. _Isn't she supposed to be asleep?_ Shooting a slightly accusatory look at Serah, who looked back at him with an apologetic one, Snow sighed.

"Some sort of seafood?" The attempt at a joke failed miserably - she was looking at him with an expression that all but said _Really?_ He shrugged. "I honestly don't know, Sis, it looks edible though, okay?"

He watched her close her eyes - whether it was from frustration or actual exhaustion he couldn't tell."Just don't make me eat it. I don't trust anything with eight tentacles."

Snow laughed again. "Your call, Sis."

As he and Serah found a way to skewer the pink thing on a metal rod Hope had found lying around and placed it above a fire, he cast a glance back at Lightning, who was now, thankfully, asleep. Her pink bangs fluttered slightly in the breeze, and Snow held back a smile of amusement: even in her sleep he could see she was holding onto her gunblade tightly.

But the woman asleep in front of him looked at _least_ five years younger than the person he'd seen this morning. Stripped of her cold, independent attitude, she didn't look like the stoic soldier she was. He narrowed his eyes, feeling amusement bubble inside him again.

_We should really make you sleep more often. You __look much more pleasant. Heck, Sis, you actually look _friendly_ when you're not glaring at people._

He heard Serah giggle beside him.

"Claire looks like someone else when she's sleeping, doesn't she?" He rested a hand in her pink hair, twining her ponytail around his thick finger affectionately.

"You read my mind, baby."

She giggled again, a warm, affectionate expression entering her eyes as she looked up at him. "You know," she mused quietly, "I think Claire would have much more people chasing after her if they based their opinion of her on her while she's asleep."

Snow let out a hearty laugh.

"She'll kill you for suggesting that."

* * *

><p><em>There were flames licking her body, but she couldn't feel the heat. In fact, holding her hand over the fire produced no pain, even though she could feel the heat waves pressing against her slender form. Hugging her arms to her, Lightning tried to see where she was, tried to find a way out. But there was only flames and darkness. <em>

_Putting one foot in front of the other, she hugged her arms to herself. There _was_ something else here... something she couldn't see but nonetheless who was making its presence known to her. Something nudged her from behind, and she nearly jumped out of her skin, before realizing it was only her Eidolon. The horse nudged her arm again, somehow unharmed in the flames that surrounded them._

"_Odin..." She didn't waste any time getting on its back, but even with Odin's fast gallop there was no end to the flames. She tried slicing at the flames with Odin's scythe blades, but the metal simply cut through the flames, leaving them unharmed.  
><em>

_"You're fighting a losing battle there, sweetheart." Fang's voice melted from the darkness, but Lightning couldn't see the grey haired Oerban. "Try seeing thi__ngs for what they are... instead of fighting."_

* * *

><p>Lightning woke with a start, and for a moment, she thought she was still caught in her dream that had become reality, before she realized she was looking up at a blood red sky - she assumed it was sunset. Serah was the only one she could see at the moment, sitting with her chin in her hands, humming quietly.<p>

Getting up, her weapon scraped the stone rooftop, making her sister turn around.

"You're up!" Her sister's arms embraced her again; Lightning hesitated before returning the gesture. She pulled back as Serah inspected her with a scrutinizing look. "You look better."

Raking a hand through the wavy pink strands of hair, she shrugged.

"Claire?" Her sister was looking at her with a slightly chiding expression.

She returned the look. "What?"

"Don't wear yourself out like that again, okay? Promise."

Lightning let out a sigh.

_It's _my _job to be worrying about you... not the other way around. You've seen things in the past couple of weeks I would have never want to let you see... and that's my fault. Urgh, Serah, I promised Mom I'd take care of you. She said you'd be able to help me too... But not like this. Not like this._

"Look, Serah..." She paused, unsure of how to continue before what she said lead to another argument. "I know you care... and well, I _appreciate_ it. But... honestly, you should be worrying about yourself. Not me. You've seen so much that you shouldn't have... Urgh."

A sudden pressure on her fingers made her stop. Serah was gripping her hands tightly, an unreadable expression in her eyes.

"I knew you'd say stuff like that. But Claire... I don't want to see you getting hurt either. And I know what you mean... I won't pretend that Yangt'zu's death didn't sicken me... I won't pretend I was so scared to see you almost die, but... I care too, okay?" Her sister's fingers traveled up her arms until it turned to an embrace Lightning couldn't back away from.

She returned it, knowing it was what Serah wanted. And strangely... a part of her was _glad_ that Serah didn't blame her... that Serah was okay. And the other still felt guilty about breaking her promise to her mother.

"Hey, Sis, nice to see you're up." Snow's annoying voice broke into their embrace, and she let go of Serah quickly, turning to glare at him. She wanted to slap the grin off his idiotic face, and his Chesire Cat smile only grew wider as he noticed her anger. "Good to see you too, sleepyhead. Never thought you'd be able to sleep eighteen full hours."

_What? I slept..._ Lightning looked at the sky before she noticed the direction of the red glare. East, not west.

She turned an accusatory glare at Snow. "Why didn't you wake me up?" She didn't dare glare at Serah - she knew that it would only serve to make her sister feel guilty. Plus, it felt nice to be mad at Snow for something at the moment, seeing as he had decided to turn up at that particular moment.

"Naw, Sis, you needed some serious sleep. How long had it been since you last slept? Thirty hours? Forty? You're not a machine... contrary to what you might believe."

She glared at him for a few more full heartbeats before looking away angrily. He was right, of course, but there was no way in hell she was going to admit it. Jumping off the rooftop in one fluid motion, she found herself looking into Hope's anxious green eyes as she landed barely a pace away from him

"Hey Light." At least he wasn't grinning at her like some overconfident oaf. She nodded a response as he looked at her with those wiser-than-he-looked green eyes. "You look better."

"You don't say," she muttered under her breath. But somehow, his comment didn't bother her as much as Snow's had. Maybe it was because he felt much more like Serah to her or maybe... she didn't know. Either way, it felt natural to care about him... and for him to care about her. There wasn't really time to dwell on it... she would have to figure out the exact reason why when there wasn't the threat of imminent death hanging over their heads. A small prickle of warmth touched her though, to know that he cared. The same pinprick of warmth turned into one of slight embarrassment when she heard Snow jump down behind her.

She moved forwards; for some reason it made her feel uncomfortable for Snow to see her and Hope in such a close proximity. Setting her clear blue gaze on the avenue that lead to the cathedral's causeway, she began to walk briskly in its direction.

"Let's go."

_And wherever the fuck you are, Yorun, you'd better watch it. We weren't prepared last time, and if you think I'm going to be making the same mistakes this time, well, you'll be in for a nice surprise._

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><p><strong>Uh huh. Light, your threats are awesome. That being said, expect action in the next chapter or two, ha. We'll <em>finally<em> get to find out exactly what's in the cathedral, and well, _I _think it's good. *cackles***

**And yay, Hope got Alexander! I always found it funny that the smallest kid in the party got the freaking biggest Eidolon that shot cannons at everything - that's pretty cool. And that means there's one Eidolon left to reveal, but Serah won't be getting hers for awhile, sorry. D:**

**I'll be rather busy for the next two days - work Saturday and Sunday, but I do promise at least _one_ chapter this weekend. (: Anyways, leave love as always in reviews and I'll see you guys next time! 8D**

**Hearts!**


	30. The Creators

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! (:**

**Once again, thanks to all the love you give this fic! The constant stream of "alerts" that hit my email are really something, whether you review (btw, you rock, Oscar), favourite, or alert this story - they really inspire me to keep going.**

**This chapter is mainly erm, _mythology_ and character development based - there was action planned, but well, you'll see. Enjoy as always!**

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><p><span>Chapter 30: The Creators<span>

Serah felt a stiff breeze lift the ends of her hair as she walked hand in hand with Snow across the small causeway, her feet making almost no sound against the smooth cobblestones. The Cathedral of Angels glittered a gaudy gold just up ahead, and its sheer size looked intimidating.

"Snow?" He looked down at her, twinkling blue eyes expectant.

"What, baby?"

She felt herself gripping his fingers tighter; avoiding looking at him, she focused on her sister's pink hair several feet in front of her. "What do you think... we'll find there?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Not sure. But your hero's got this, so don't you worry, aight?"

She wasn't convinced. "But Snow... the papers you erm, 'borrowed' from the library... If the Maker really did leave Pulse from there, wouldn't that make it a very powerful place?" Serah tried not to sound scared.

"Ha! Nothing we can't handle." He gave her a confident thumbs up. "Remember, we took down Orphan, so we can handle _anything_ they throw at us, hm?"

"I seem to remember you saying that in Lake Bresha, Snow. Where did you end up again? Oh yeah, the Cavalry picked you up before PSICOM got to you." Lightning's irritated snap broke into their conversation.

"Shut up, Sis. Who saved your back in Palumpolum?" Snow sounded just as indignant. _Here we go again... _

"Yeah, Snow? I seem to remember rescuing _you_ from that Ushumgal Subjugator. So _you_ shut up. We don't need to be overconfident walking in there." There was an awkward moment as Lightning and Snow both glared at each other, before she turned and crossed her arms, Snow with his mouth open, clearly trying to come up with a comeback.

Serah suppressed a smile before going over to embrace him. "Don't worry, I believe you," she murmured gently into his coat. A warm hand trailed down her cheek, caressing it gently.

"That makes one of us," he replied softly, enveloping her hands in his again. She felt him brush back a stray tendril of cherry coloured hair. "Love you, baby."

She laughed, tip toeing to press her lips to his neck. "Silly. I love you too."

Breaking apart before her sister could snap another nasty remark in their direction, Serah danced happily towards her, Snow following closely. She saw Lightning frown at her happy expression.

"Just what do you have to be so happy about?" Her question held more surprise than rebuke. Serah gently smoothed down a strand of her sister's pink hair before moving out of reach - Lightning looked both appeased and embarrassed.

"Nothing," she quipped happily, enjoying the dubious look on her sister's face. "But it's better to be happy than all gloomy and sad all the time. So cheer up, Claire. It's not like we're your commanding officers or anything."

Her sister let out a snort before rolling her eyes, muttering something under her breath Serah couldn't catch. Snow's laugh sounded by her ear before his arms wrapped around her.

"You know, you're the only one who can say stuff like that to her without getting slapped." Serah giggled, resting her hands on his.

"I know. That's why I said it."

_And even if it was meant to be a joke... Claire needs to take it seriously. Because she walks around all day like we're in the middle of a war. It's not that that's not true... but with Snow and her... somehow I don't feel threatened much at all. And maybe that's selfish and naive, always relying on them to protect me. And maybe it's because they know I can't do much in return, and don't expect me to fight. I know I don't have to shoulder the responsibility... which isn't fair. I know that.  
><em>

_But Claire... and Snow. One day, I _will_ return everything you've given me. Somehow. I promise.  
><em>

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><p>Snow carefully eased the door to the cathedral, instinctively wincing in anticipation of a groan of rusty doors. Instead, the door swung open smoothly, revealing the dim inner of the place. His own footsteps suddenly sounded too loud, and Snow could have sworn he could hear his own heartbeat echoing off the walls.<p>

For a place that looked so big from the outside, it felt unassuringly claustrophobic. The air inside was musty, but not with the scent of decay. There was a slight perfumed scent in the air that made it seem stuffier than it should have been, and the hallway was long and narrow, gilded with gold. He felt Serah worm her fingers out of his before cautiously approaching one of the many portraits and statues that lined the walls. He followed her over as she looked up at the nearest one.

"It's Pulse," he heard her whisper. Looking up, his eyes traveled over the painting, done in mute colours and shades. But it was obvious to any viewer - the wild world of Gran Pulse. He could see a small green marble in the top left corner, slightly out of place in the untamed reds and browns that dotted the landscape. Cocoon. His eyes raked down the picture, coming to a stop at the burnished bronze plaque at the bottom of it.

"_The World's Creation. Lindzei, Pulse, and Etro."_ The names were unfamiliar on his tongue, except, of course, for 'Pulse'.

He felt Serah lean back against him. "Who are Lindzei and Etro?"

Snow shrugged. "I dunno. Let's keep moving and look at the rest." Leading her by the hand, he moved several feet to his right, coming to a stop beside the next portrait. Their soft footsteps seemed too loud, and he could hear the hushed voices of Lightning and Hope from somewhere behind him. Snow felt an uncanny shiver run through his body: it felt like they were disturbing the sleep of a thousand year old deity, in some way. _I feel like I'm the intruder here._

The next painting was done in the same tones of red and brown. A deity, undeniably female, and blood. That was all the painting featured, and Snow felt a twinge of uneasiness looking at it. _Who in their right mind would depict such an ugly scene?_ Suddenly, the urge to protect Serah from the blood red features of the painting sprung up inside him, but it was too late - Serah was staring, enraptured, by the painting. Her fingers brushed the bronze plate underneath it.

"_Etro's Blood Creation - the Birth of_ _Humans,_" she read quietly. "I don't get it..."

Snow stared hard at the painting, trying to understand the meaning behind the bleeding slashes in the painting. He didn't get it either... did this portrait state that Etro, whoever the hell she was supposed to be, had created humans out of her blood?

"Let's just move on..." Dragging her away from the painting, they came to a stop before the next one. The next painting held no humanoid figures. There were only two spheres, painted into golden and blue spheres, respectively. This last one was even more confusing than the other two put together.

"_The Worlds' Balance. Mwynn's Last Wish."_ Both of them stared in silence at the two spheres.

Footsteps stopped behind them.

"What are you two looking at?"

Snow jabbed a finger at the last three paintings they'd looked at, plus the many more that were hung neatly around the long hallway.

"Don't you see, Sis? This place is a picturesque history book! We could probably learn everything we wanted to know just by looking at all of these!" She looked unconvinced, blue eyes dubious.

Hope came up behind her. "You really think so?" His sea green eyes were alight with interest as he took in the paintings that lined the walls.

Snow felt a smile crack his face. "I know so," he replied confidently, twining the fingers of one of Serah's hands with his.

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><p>Lightning pressed the slim fingers of her left hand against a painting. There was nothing else in the hallway, save a stone tablet she and Hope had already examined. The only useful information she had gotten out of that was how to reach the Seraph's Apex - where the god Pulse, otherwise known as the Maker, was said to have departed this world. That had been the only thing of interest to her, until Snow had pointed out the paintings. She cast another sideways glance down at him and Serah - the two were much further down the hallway, enthusiastically examining each one.<p>

She was much less interested in the history, and only paused when a particular painting caught her eye. Like the one she was currently touching.

A single silver feather, resting on a throne in the middle of a grey and black expanse. The caption underneath read: _Etro's Divine Will - The Timeless Realm of Valhalla. _In slightly smaller text underneath it, perhaps even more chilling than the depiction itself. _The death of the Mortal World is not a curse. It is unavoidable fate._

She felt a shudder pass through her body. The Maker knew she wasn't interested in history, and all the god and goddess mumbo jumbo, but this struck a little too close to what they had prevented to be brushed off. Shaking her head, she moved on, irritatedly pushing the tiny Pulsian script out of her head. _I know I must be going crazy when I'm scared by a painting._

Moving past the other paintings, Lightning found herself at the end of the hallway. There was a single portrait hung above the arched hallway to the next room, a golden curved hallway that reached up out of her sight. And as her eyes lighted on the depiction, she felt her heart give a leap.

A dark shadow that covered the moon, blocking out most of the light. Red eyes gleamed in the corners and sides of the pictures, as the land of Gran Pulse was awash with dying silver lining. The script underneath the painting was almost too small to read, and straining her eyes, she managed to make them out.

_The Gods' Eclipse. Brought forth by pain and the fal'Cie's light, it is fated to be ended with sacrifice. _

Lightning felt her hands beginning to tighten into fists as she gazed at the painting. There was absolutely no doubt that the scene before her was the event that _they_ wanted to happen. She could guess what the 'fal'Cie's light' was, but as for the second half of the sentence, she felt like she didn't want to know. _What kind of sacrifice would be needed mitigate the strength and overwhelming power of the Eclipse?_

Someone poked her side.

"Light? What are you..." Hope's voice trailed off as his eyes went to where she was looking. There was a few heartbeats of silence as he took in the painting. Hope's voice was hushed when he spoke again. "You think this is true?"

Trying to control her slightly erratic breathing, Lightning took several deep breaths to calm her pounding heartbeat. "I don't know. There's no proof that all of this mythology mumbo jumbo in this place is true. But we have no choice but to take it seriously... I think we know a little too much about people trying to mess with 'the Maker's will' and all that all too well."

A grim look entered Hope's bright emerald eyes as she spoke. "No kidding, Light." He tugged on the black sleeve on her left arm. "Come on, let's go." She pried his fingers off of her, feeling slightly embarrassed as their fingers touched. She raked her hands through her pink hair to cover her discomfort, quickly turning away.

"Stay here," she commanded him. Setting off a little too quickly, she made her way over to Serah and Snow, dragging them away from the pictures, ignoring Snow's childish whining. _When he grows up, I'll have to remind myself to buy him a cake, _she thought bitterly.

Rejoining Hope at the end of the hallway, she took the lead again, moving out of the hallway of portraits. Brighter light hit her eyes, and she dragged her gaze upwards. There was nothing here except a circular stairway that spiraled out of sight; a seemingly endless tortile flight of steps. Lightning suppressed a frustrated sigh as she took in the number of stairs above her head.

"Hope you guys have enough stamina," she muttered under her breath as she took the steps two at a time. _This is going to be one long walk._

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><p>A surprising breeze lifted the strands of her pink hair as Lightning finally gasped for breath, her feet clearing the last few stone steps. She could hear the echoing steps of Hope and Serah somewhere behind her, Snow somewhere <em>far<em> behind her. For all his hero antics, Snow had let himself lag behind even Serah. _So much for a 'hero'._ Letting out a snort of irritation at their lack of stamina, she raised her eyes to her new surroundings. They were somewhere near the roof of the cathedral, she could tell that. And for some reason, she could hear the sound of water nearby.

Spotting another stone tablet, she carefully made her way over to it - she was in a large, bright room made of marble and gilded with gold. Her fingertips brushed the dust covered stone before she wiped it, revealing the carved script underneath.

_The Aquarium of Angels. Symbolizing the life that ran through Gran Pulse only with the will of the Maker, the Aquarium provides water, the life essence, to the rest of the cathedral. The prayer site of the Celestial Beings rests ahead.  
><em>

Gazing past the stone tablet, Lightning noted the larger open area, presumably the site of the prayers. Her footsteps were muffled, hidden by the sound of running water, as she perched on the side of the stone tablet to wait. Sunlight played at the back of her head as she pulled out her omega weapon, carefully inspecting it. It had gotten several new layers of wear and tear since she'd last polished it, but... _Oh well. As long as it's still functional._

Letting her mind wander back to the portraits, she found herself disturbing obsessed with thoughts of her sister. How had Serah reacted to the script written beneath the paintings, more then several hinting the inevitable end of the world? Suddenly, Lightning found herself regretting she'd dragged her sister out on this at all, before she angrily shoved the thought away.

_I would have left Serah as a sitting duck if she'd stayed at home. I _have _to believe that bringing her along was the right choice. It was... wasn't it? _She wasn't sure anymore; Serah had seen so many things that Lightning had so carefully hidden away and sugarcoated over that there was almost no point in protecting her any longer.

_I promised... I'd take care of her._ Was this taking care of her? True, Serah hadn't gotten hurt... yet, but there were more to wounds than just the physical kind. She didn't know how actually _seeing_ death had affected her sister, and she knew Serah was smarter than to tell her if she had felt disturbed in any way. That was the only thing she was grateful to Snow for - if her sister didn't trust her enough, there was at least _someone_ else she trusted her thoughts with.

A faint whimper escaped her lips at the thought that her sister didn't want to burden her with doubts.

"Claire?" _Great. Now she's seen._

A small hand covered her own, which was trembling. "What's wrong?"

Lightning brushed her off, noting Hope was standing to the side, carefully not looking in their direction. She felt a small flutter of appreciation - at least the silver haired teenager had _some _sense of decency.

"Nothing," she said, a little too quickly. Serah didn't look convinced.

"Don't give me that," her sister retorted, uncharacteristically crisp. "I know something's wrong. Spit it out." She narrowed her eyes at her sister, who had copied her exact intonations. _Am I really that obvious?_

Serah's tone softed. "Please, Claire?"

_It's hard to refuse when she's looking at me like that. Urgh, why is it that she knows _exactly_ how to get to me?_

Lightning took a breath before replying, hoping to the Maker that this was going to come out right. "It's just... Serah, there's something I've been meaning to ask you... but... I don't know how you're going to respond to it." That part was true enough, as her sister looked at her, blue eyes quizzical. There was no evidence of blame in them. Yet.

But before she could open her mouth to voice her own self doubt, a loud bang reverberated through the hallway, just as Snow huffed his way to the top of the stairs. She was on her feet before her mind had processed what had happened.

And she only needed to catch a glimpse of the torn and diritied white dress and the red eyes to know who it was.

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><p><strong>*coughs lightly* I felt that this was a good place to cut it off, even though that makes this chapter bank on the short side, barely grazing 3K words. I think the heavy Fabula Nova Crystallis mythology and the deeper emotional part of the second half was enough to chew on though; I felt that throwing something else in was going to ruin the effect of the last spoken sentence, which is, by the way, something I really want to have an impact. <strong>

**By the way... the Fabula Nova Crystallis mythology is completely correct. *proud* I did research the whole XIII/Versus/Type-0 mythology before I started this fic, and it's really interesting! 8D Etro w_as_ mentioned in this chapter, but she actually plays a _lot_ less of a role in the mythology as a whole than I thought (guess XIII-2 just exaggerated her part), and well, this fic isn't going to go XIII-2, I just had to throw the whole creation thing (which inevitably includes Etro) in there. n_n  
><strong>

**Though I think it's pretty obvious the next chapter is action based, and it'll probably be rather long - there are two action scenes planned and erm... yeah. Anyways, leave love as usual - the next chapter _should _be up by tomorrow evening, at the latest Monday morning.**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	31. What You Hold Dear

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR!**

**A big thank you to my reviewers: Zapper90, Crystal (And awh, thank you so much for the kind compliment! I _wish_ NR was XIII-2 D:), OscarMerrinoz96, Mylaervain, and GCFarron (haha, yeah, if I owned a school, _Final Fantasy 101_ would definitely be a mandatory course to graduate xD). You guys are awesome, and I thank you all for your continued support! (:**

**For the purposes of this chapter, I stole a line off FFVII; one of the most momentous lines** **of the entire game, IMO. And it's used for the exact same purpose in this fic - I hope, and kind of not hope, that you guys pick out said line. On one hand, yay for being FFVII fanatics (because I remember the _exact _line said in the game) and on the other, it's kind of a spoiler. Kind of. So if you do figure it out... well, it's major foreshadowing and I'll shut up now before I say more than I should.**

**Enjoy as always!**

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><p><span>Chapter 31: What You Hold Dear<span>

Lightning raised her omega weapon, shoving Serah roughly behind her against the stone tablet. Sweeping her ice blue gaze over the surroundings, she picked out six black robes and one white dress. Xue. Suspicion raked its way up her back. _Why the hell would they...  
><em>

Switching her weapon to gun mode, she aimed it at the closest black hooded figure; cursing under her breath when the figure jumped down to avoid the attack. Several others followed suit, and she felt her pulse rate increase when they moved towards her.

"Relentless Assault," she hissed under her breath, raising her left hand. The Thundaga left her fingertips as Snow weaved between their spells to attack, sinking a fist into the closest figure. But they hadn't been prepared for the manadrives from the enemies, and she felt a debuff hit her in the chest as she dropped, gasping. _They can use Slow?_ Shaking her hair out of her eyes, Lightning pushed herself to her feet.

She definitely felt sluggish, like her limbs were made of cement, and from Snow's outraged curse, she could hear that he'd been hit with some sort of debuff as well. A steadying hand tightened on her left arm; turning, she saw that Hope had gripped her, concern evident in his intoxicating green eyes.

"You okay, Light?"

Taking a steadying breath, she forced the words from her lips. "Yeah..." Narrowing her eyes, she saw that the figures had shifted their attention to Snow, who was trying to counterattack. "Decimation," she hissed.

The Haste lifted the feeling of sluggish weight from her shoulders as she sent another Thundaga in Snow's direction, hoping he had the brains to avoid it, before moving forwards herself, leaving Hope with Serah by the stone tablet. Her first Froststrike hit one of the figures square in the back - kicking him away from her, Lightning pushed herself forward again, feeling the surge of empowerment at the Bravery and Faith. Back flipping out of the way of another manadrive spell, she avoided a slash at her left arm. Letting out a growl of anger, she raised her gunblade.

_"I'm no one's slave!"_ Burying the bullets in the head of the nearest assailant, she felt a grim smile stretch her lips at the spread of red on the bluish marble ground. _This is what you get for messing with me._

A scream above her head made her jerk her head up. Her first instinct was Serah, but she was still pressed against the stone tablet with Hope. Raking her eyes upwards to the ceiling of the Aquarium, Lightning spotted Xue, about to fall from one of the ledges above. _Is this the only-_

She didn't have time to screech her anger before both ice and rose petals filled the air. Lightning didn't even bother with Odin's knight form, instead pulling herself up directly onto Sleipnir's back as the metal horse reared. Gripping the scythe blades tightly in both her hands, she sliced away at the still attacking forms of the black hooded figures before the horse pounded down the sides of the Aquarium, hooves splashing water onto the skin of her calves.

And she just had time to grasp the fingers of the petite l'Cie woman's right hand moments before Xue hit the ground, when a throwing knife pierced through both their hands.

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><p>Serah heard her sister cry out in pain and she instantly swiveled her head in Lightning's direction, in time to see her let go of Xue. She found herself being hoisted along with Hope onto Shiva as Snow sent the bike roaring in their direction.<p>

Snow didn't waste any time before kicking the bike in her sister's direction, knocking aside the remaining two assailants with Shiva's turn as enormous flowers of ice bloomed in the Eidolon's wake. Shards cracked as the bike skidded over the now friction free surface, unintentionally increasing the petals of the ice flowers.

"Whoops," she heard Snow mutter to himself in front of her. She thought he had meant the growing amount of frozen stalactites and stalagmites in the Aquarium, but that wasn't it. He had created a frozen layer of dense ice in the running pools of water. The somewhat comforting sound of water running down the various pipes and fountains had ceased. _Wait, but..._

"Snow, stop!" Hope's panicked shout sounded behind her ear as the teenager gripped the side of the bike with one hand while holding his boomerang with the other. Serah followed his gaze - Lightning seemed okay, but that wasn't what he was looking at in her direction. It was Xue.

The woman had fallen into the water because the knife had forced her sister to let go. The blade was now firmly buried in a spile of ice, and so was the lower half of Xue's body. Serah had no idea how many Fira spells it would take to melt the whole room.

But before she could say something, Snow hoisted her off Shiva, pulling Hope off with the other hand. She watched the Eidolon fade into a flash of ice. The Shiva sisters had let them off right beside Lightning, who was still fighting on Odin's back, slashing away at the remaining two figures who had jumped down after pushing Xue off the top ledges.

The almost overwhelming scent of roses was powerful here, as Odin and Lightning hacked away at the figures, splattering red on bluish white. Pristine feather-white ice against the scarlet blood of death, staining the pure ice flowers a splotched red. _Almost as if... the flowers themselves are bleeding_. Her sister's heavy breathing was suddenly much closer to her as Lightning landed on the floor, Odin vanishing in a final swirl of delicate rose petals.

"Light!" Hope called her name before she did, and Serah was glad to see the familiar look of faint irritation light her blue eyes whenever her sister heard concern associated in some way with her name. Serah looked hard at her left hand - there was no indication that there had been a wound.

Her sister simply huffed at the sound of her name. "Don't look so worried," she muttered. Serah found her feet carrying her forwards until she almost slid to a stop beside her taller sister.

"Show me your hand," she insisted, not backing down from the annoyed scowl, instead, returning it. Lightning glared at her for a few more heartbeats before giving in, almost daintily holding up to her eye level. Serah grasped her sister's hand in hers, inspecting it, but she had been right - apart from the rip in the glove, there was no indication of an injury.

A shout distracted them as Lightning quickly jerked her hand out of Serah's, turning in the direction of Snow, who was trying to Flamestrike the ice pillar Xue was stuck in. "Some _help_ here?" Her husband almost sounded irritated.

Leaving her sister, Serah carefully made her way over to him, placing her feet delicately on the frictionless ice. She didn't want to crash into Snow and make him lose his balance too. Coming to a stop beside him, they linked hands for a moment before Serah turned her eyes to the woman half frozen in the ice.

The steel grey eyes were closed, and for the first time, Serah saw the woman's l'Cie brand, located just above her collarbone. It looked different than hers - it was black instead of white, and the symbol was different. There weren't lines and arrows, but a circular pattern that reminded her of a flower.

Concentrating her attention to the shallow well of magic that she could now consciously draw from her brand, Seah conjured her own Fira. But it wasn't strong enough to melt the ice completely - in fact, she hardly did anything to it.

A second Fira hit the same spot she had been aiming at, followed by a much stronger Firaga. But the combined Fire spells hardly did more to it than she had done. Turning around, she saw that both Lightning and Hope had been aiming at the ice, a disgusted look on her sister's face.

"Snow, how the hell did you freeze this place?"

The big man seemed to shy away sheepishly from his sister in law's rage. "Erm, I don't know, Sis. I just summoned Shiva and well..."

A sudden blast of air hit her back, and Serah whipped around, clasping her arms to herself from the breeze that lifted the ends of her hair and sent a chilling sliver of ice onto her cheek.

"And if I were you, my dear l'Cie friends, I'd be much more concerned about myself than that Farseer woman."

* * *

><p>Lightning instantly turned at the sound of the voice, stepping forwards half a pace so that Hope was partially hidden behind her. She locked gazes with the familiar, sadistic golden gaze, its owner walking calmly onto the sheets of frozen water, looking supremely unconcerned.<p>

She felt her weapon arm rise as she held the gunblade in attack position, the tip of the omega weapon following his footsteps. Her heartbeat rose to her throat as she noticed the dozen - _Is it even _just_ a dozen?_ black clothed figures behind him, emerging from the steps from the entrance hallway.

But Yorun was the only one who advanced towards her, and she felt her muscles tense. He held up a hand, and she heard something crack. But nothing rained down on her head, and there seemed to be nothing else attacking them. The only sounds she could hear apart from her own heartbeat and breathing were the steady breaths of Hope and Serah behind her. The sound of boots on ice stopped just behind her. Snow.

"What do you want this time?" she snarled viciously, hating the look of contempt in the golden eyes. "It looks like you've got nothing better to do than follow us around every time we decide to pick a place to go."

The only response her angry words got was a cold, almost self satisfactory smile. "That's because you seem to have all the right answers, my dear Lightning. Now, why don't you finish picking that woman out of the ice so we can get the key to the Seraph's Apex from her?"

_What... the fuck?_

Lightning had no idea what kind of nonsense he was spouting at her, but the intent was clear. Xue had something they wanted. Why they couldn't have wrested it from her earlier, she had no idea. But it didn't really matter - that was one advantage they had at the moment and she wasn't going to complain about it.

"Why don't you?" she snapped back.

The man just laughed at her, golden eyes dancing with amusement. "Why waste my energy when I can waste yours? You _did_ promise her brother, didn't you? Or are you just going to break a deathbed promise?"

Lightning felt the familiar lick of anger rise in her throat. _Why won't he shut up? Always playing games with us, always using us like we're some sort of obedient pet. Exactly like Barthandelus._

She heard Snow growl beside her as he raised his gloved fists, blue eyes blazing with fury. "Don't make fun of a death wish," he snarled at the man. Clearly, some other factor was affecting his reaction - and she could see his eyes were also glazed with some memory that had arisen with the last syllables of Yorun's question.

The man simply snapped his fingers at his subordinates, who took his place at the front of the line before jumping backwards, rolling up the sleeve of his right arm. She felt her breath catch in her throat when she saw the black mark on his arm. _So he's... a l'Cie too?_ But she didn't have time to ponder this newest revelation before the brand glowed blue and a summon circle appeared beneath his feet. A sudden heat wave burned past her face, and she was forced to raise a forearm to shield her face, covering her view of the man. She couldn't see what he was doing. _Just what..._

"Burn them to ashes... _Ifrit!_"

Water pressed into her from every side as she fought to stay afloat at the top of the water level. The summon hadn't just melted all the water Snow had frozen with Shiva, but had sent several additional hundred litres of water that the floor had probably housed crashing down on them. Gasping for breath, she felt herself being forced underwater by the sheer pressure of the liquid, before she fought towards the surface again, struggling to keep her head above the water.

She couldn't see Serah or Hope, and for a few heartbeats, panic gripped her. Something, or rather, _someone_ bumped into her back; twisting around, she recognized, even with the water in her eyes, Hope's distinctive platinum hair. Their hands found each others' in the murk of the melted icewater, and she clung to him, trying to keep him afloat as well as she fought for breath.

But it was impossible. His weight dragged her down even though she could tell he was trying too, and there was nothing to _hold_, nothing to even _swim_ to to ensure that they wouldn't drown. And she could only hope that Serah was safe with Snow. Because if she wasn't...

_Maker, please... _

Desperation and exhaustion was beginning to claw at her limbs and she fought the urge to just give up. _I can't... if this isn't for me... this is for Hope!_ She found that the thought kept her going; it was something to cling to in their otherwise hopeless situation.

"Light..." she heard him gasp from behind her. "The altar... by the prayer-" His voice was cut off by the sudden rush of water that slammed into them, but she understood. Using one hand to wipe away darkened pink hair from her face, Lightning orientated her body towards what she thought was the far side of the hallway. It was impossible to tell with the water level rising, but there had been an elevated platform there that was hopefully high enough to keep them safe. And she didn't even know if this was the right direction - she had gone by gut instinct and her own internal sense of direction; it would have to be enough.

Fighting her way through the unrelenting pressure of water and the drag of waterlogged clothes and an almost useless Hope, Lightning allowed herself a breath of relief when she finally stabbed her omega weapon into the stone platform, about two feet above her head. Trusting that Hope could tread water for a few moments, she let go of him, pulling herself up onto the stone platform. It wasn't easy - her soaked clothing, aided by gravity, tried to drag her back down into the water's grip.

Finally resting her two hands on the stone, she gasped to catch her breath before remembering, with a sudden rush of panic, that she'd left Hope to fend of himself. That same panic threatened to consume her when she reached back over the edge, not seeing him.

"Hope!" The strangled cry was ripped from her raw throat. _Why did I let go? Why did I..._

A small gasp responded to her cry. "Light..." Small fingers gripped onto her arm - hauling backwards with the remaining strength in her exhausted limbs, she managed to pull the trembling teenager onto the stone. Their eyes met, sea green and icy blue. Her arms embraced his shoulders in relief before Lightning was aware of the implications of the gesture.

But he hadn't pulled away - instead, she found that he had returned it, one arm looped gently around her back. She pulled away before the touch could make her feel more uncomfortable. Pressing the back of her hand to her mouth and against her nose, Lightning tried to control her breathing as she got up.

Hope had looked surprise at the sudden break in contact, but he hadn't said anything, choosing to stand up beside her. "Thanks... Light." She shook her head in response, not trusting herself to speak yet. Instead, she tried to calm the emotions raging inside her by gripping her weapon tightly at her side.

And that was when her negligence hit her in the chest like a physical blow. In her moment of desperation to protect Hope, she'd forgotten... _Serah... Serah!_

She couldn't see her sister, couldn't even see _Snow._ Sinking to one knee, she tried to discern the cherry coloured hair, but it was impossible - the chamber was made of white marble and blue-green tiles. Her breathing caught in her throat when the very real possibility invaded her thoughts and pushed out everything else. _Serah... she can't have drowned... Snow was with her... right? Serah... Serah, I'm sorry!_

A whimper forced its way past her lips as she gasped for breath, her lungs not needing the extra air this time, but to force back the cries that threatened to choke her.

"Claire...!" The sound of her name invaded her consciousness as she tried to pinpoint where exactly the voice had come from.

"Light! Light, over here!" The sound of Hope's shout was relieved, yet ironically desperate at the same time as she ran to his side, following his gaze. There! In the rush of the water, she saw her. Snow was holding her head above the water, but that meant he wasn't swimming much in their direction. She hated the idea of going back into the icy rage of the water, but what choice did she have?

Dropping her lithe body back into icy liquid, she set her sight on her sister's darkened pink hair, spread in a mess around her shoulders. It was awhile before she got to Serah, but she made out better than she expected - this time, there wasn't Hope to consider. Easing her sister's weight off of Snow, she saw that he had been carrying an extra burden - Xue. _You idiot...! Why the hell..._ She snapped off her own bitter thoughts; this wasn't the time to be shouting at him over things already done.

She felt a surge of relief the moment she took Serah from Snow - he shot her a grateful glance, and he was now moving faster, in fact, cutting through the rough slosh of water better than she was. Serah kept her grip around one of her arms as she followed Snow. The water level was still rising, but this time, it was to their advantage - the stone platform was now barely a foot above her head and Serah clambered onto the stone easily, leaving her to follow.

Dripping wet, she remained on her knees for a few moments, raking her hands through her wet hair and pushing her bangs off her face.

Snow was also trying to regain his ability to breathe. "Thanks, Sis," he managed to get out between rapid breaths.

"Next time, remind me to kick your ass for freezing everything so that bastard could melt it," she rasped back. He gave her a thumbs up.

She gave a huff before pushing herself up, gripping Serah by the shoulders. "Are you okay?" Her sister nodded. Something closed on the back of the wet fabric of her cape, almost pulling her down backwards. She turned, ready to snap, before she saw who it was.

Xue.

Bending down, prying the woman's fingers off her cape, she made sure she was at the same eye level as the Farseer l'Cie. "What?"

But the woman didn't seem to hear her, didn't seem to even know her own reason for gripping her cape. Her steel grey eyes were unfocussed, but held an intensity Lightning had never seen in them before. Not even when they'd first refused her brother's offer of 'help' back in their village. A sudden thought of nausea hit her stomach. _Does she even know... her brother's dead? _A knot of discomfort twisted in her stomach. _No! I won't be the messenger again... I won't be the person to tell someone else of someone else's death!_

"You." She froze. The voice held unmistakable power, the same authority she'd heard in Xue's voice the very first night. The steel grey eyes focused on her again, and once more, Lightning found it impossible to look away from the intensity in the grey orbs. "What you pursue will be yours... But you will lose something dear."

Her limbs were rooted to the spot, unable to process the dire meaning behind what was unmistakeably a prophecy by a woman accustomed to seeing the future for her entire life. _Unable... or unwilling?_ She didn't want to decipher the meaning behind her ominous last words. The woman's hand stretched out, and in the middle of her palm, Lightning saw a golden glint.

And she was utterly unprepared for the moment crystal began to seize Xue's body; forced to shield her eyes from the blinding glare of the crystallizing l'Cie, the light was suddenly cut off. For a moment, Lightning thought it was because the crystal stasis was complete, before the brilliant red smile on Xue's throat was all she could see.

The woman's body slid off the wet platform, and in the heartbeat it took for her to recover from the onslaught of what had just happened, Snow had buried a Froststrike in the skull of the enemy. One look at the dent in the man's temple and Lightning knew he was gone. But she knew that whatever had been in Xue's hand had been important. _Maybe it's..._

But there wasn't really time to speculate as to what it was; she only knew she _had_ to get it before the body was washed away and out of her reach in the oncoming deluge of water that was continuing to fill up the Aquarium - she suspected that Yorun had purposefully broken one of the mechanics to the place to try to drown them.

"Cover me," she hissed at Snow and Hope.

The icy water raged around her body for the third time - Lightning thought she'd had enough of water... and swimming, to last the rest of her lifetime. Pushing her body towards Xue's, her gloved fingers closed on the woman's right hand. The final grip on whatever was in her palm was so tight she had to break several fingers before the limp body that stared only into death let go.

It was a key. The very same key Yorun had wanted. Sliding the thin sheath of crystal underneath her glove, she felt the cold metal brand her skin. There was nothing else to do except close the woman's eyes and turn back. For some reason, Lightning didn't want to see the body wash out to Maker knew where. A relentless staccato pounded in time to her heartbeat, pushing three thoughts to the forefront of her consciousness.

They'd broken the promise to Yangt'zu. Granted, _she_ hadn't actually promised anything, but it had been an unspoken agreement between them that they owed a debt to Xue. And now that debt would never be repaid - Xue had literally thrown them a lifeline by giving them the thing Yorun needed. Why she was needed to obtain the key, or whatever it was supposed to open up in the Seraph's Apex, she didn't know, but it didn't matter.

And what had been an unmistakable prophecy, just before Xue had begun to enter crystal stasis - what her Focus had been, Lightning would never know. She felt cold claws of dread rake down her back at the thought. _'What you pursue will be yours... But you will lose something dear.'_ A part of her felt glad... glad that in some way, what she wanted most at the moment, which was to give Yorun the lesson of his lifetime would come to fruition. But the other half of her felt cold pain - what exactly would she lose? What meant most to her?

There was only one answer.

The people she loved.

And that was what hurt the most - did Xue mean that bringing them with her... bringing them into this fight... would cause her to lose them? She didn't know if Serah and Hope had heard Xue's final words - didn't want them to know, in fact. And she made up her mind in the moment she'd realized what the meaning behind the cryptic words could be. No matter how much it hurt, if they didn't know, she wouldn't tell them.

_This is mine to bear. And mine alone. I won't let anyone else get hurt... because of it._

As she pulled herself onto the platform again, and as she felt Serah's arms wrap around her, Lightning cast one last glance to where she had seen the woman's body last. Wishing there had been a way to give more of a substantial goodbye, wishing there was a way to thank her for her actions, she found herself not brushing her sister's hands off her like she normally would. Her ice blue eyes found the spot where Xue's body had been dragged down by the weight of her own dress and the ferocity of the rising water level that had to drain out somewhere.

_Thank you... for everything.  
><em>

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><p><strong>So... wow. Okay. The second half of this chapter was <em>immensely <em>hard for me to write. I tried to get Light's emotions and thoughts right... I really did. Somehow, I don't think I captured the intensity of her raw emotions the way I wanted to, but... D:**

**I leave all interpretation of all events up to you. (And I'm _highly_ curious as to what you guys think - even though I have the main storyline already all planned out; it's not going to change, reading what you guys think is always fun)**

**Anyways, leave love as always in reviews, and I will see you guys soon! Next chapter will take me a bit longer - there are some definite emotional themes I would like to get right, plus well, Light has said key now, so there's no doubt as to where we're going next. So don't expect it before Tuesday afternoon. n_n**

**Hearts!  
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	32. Seraphim

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3**

**I actually finished earlier than usual - I even had the first half of this chapter Beta'd by a RL friend this morning - we were supposed to be studying and all but well, I guess you could say we got sidetracked. Ha. *easily amused* So an extra treat for you all, yay!**

**And as usual, lots of love to my reviewers: Crystal, GCFarron (yay for all the Ifrit love, you two!), OscarMerrinoz96, Mylaervain, and Zapper90! You guys are awesome, and thanks again for all your continued support! (:**

**I also stole a name off of an XIII-2 weapon - Seraph Wing gets some attention in this chapter.  
><strong>

**One thing before we start on the chapter I wanted to share: I was looking around on the Internet and found a piece of news that I utterly and totally squealed over for about ten minutes. Literally. The _Showcase Prada 2012 Spring/Summer Collection _(which, for those not into fashion, is a rather famous Italian luxury clothing line) picked the XIII-2 characters as models. Yup, you heard right. Lightning's model is here: /finalfantasy/images/b/b0/Prada_Lightning[dot]jpg (insert images[dot]wikia[dot]com into the front), and there's also Noel, Hope and Sazh for those who wanna see. 8D**

**Okay, I think I sound like a rabid fangirl right now so I'll stop. Enjoy as always!** **(:**

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><p><span>Chapter 32: Seraphim<span>

Hope pushed aside dripping fronds of silky white flowers as they grazed his head; irritatedly brushing off the cold drops as they slid down silver locks. He gulped air into his lungs, still somewhat relieved at the fact that he could breathe freely again. No more water crowding his lungs and vision, no more dreading the moment the water dragged him down into its depths.

They'd since moved on from the Aquarium, but the steps downwards were still wet, and the hundreds upon hundreds of flowers in the next chamber - the Sanctuary of Blossoms were dusted with millions of shining wet globules. He focused his gaze on Lightning's back - she was about a dozen paces ahead of him, very evidently ignoring Serah and Snow's playful banter. She hadn't said a word since they'd found a way out of the Aquarium, and he narrowed his eyes. _Odd. Usually she would have told Serah and Snow to shut the hell up _long_ before they got this loud._

Casting a sly glance back at the happy couple - Snow was playing with the ends of Serah's still wet hair as they walked, flicking droplets of water everywhere, and she was trying, unsuccessfully, to stop him; giggling madly, Hope decided that they wouldn't notice if he caught up to Lightning. Increasing his pace, he stopped when he matched the soldier's pace step by step.

"Light?" The name stuck in his throat somewhat, and she shot him an odd look, both surprised and suspicious. But she didn't speak right away; her expression suddenly flooding with an uncharacteristic doubt and pain he had no idea how to even begin to place. She coughed lightly.

"What, Hope?" The remark wasn't as cutting as usual, and he saw her try and avoid his gaze.

The slight shift in her tone made him look curiously back at her, feeling concern rise in his chest. Something was definitely up, and it was _exactly _like her not to tell him, or anyone, for that matter, what it was. _And I'm a Chocobo if I don't find out what it is._

Suppressing the tone of concern in his voice, Hope tried to look at her square in the eye - it wasn't easy; keeping up with her fast pace was a challenge on a normal day when he wasn't thinking about how to say something and not get slapped. "Is something wrong?"

_Goddammit. _The concern was evident even if he was trying to hide it, and he saw the familiar flare of irritation light her turquoise eyes.

"No." Turning her head away from him, the remark was even more curt than usual. _Definitely something wrong. She doesn't take this tone unless she's angry at Snow for pissing her off._ It was a little too sharp to be genuine - she'd replied too fast, denied it too quickly.

"You can't fool me, Light. I _know_ something's up." Dimly, Hope was aware that the giggling behind him had stopped, and it bothered him a little that he was the only one talking in an other huge room with only the flowers dripping water in the background for accompaniment. However... _That doesn't mean I'm giving in. _The resolve made him feel stronger, more empowered as she glared at him.

"Yeah?" She was fighting to keep her temper. "Well, clearly, you don't." Her blatant denial somehow got on his nerves in a way she rarely could - he was used to her blunt, no nonsense tone, but this cut deeper. Like she was denying the fact that anyone knew her at all.

"Claire..." Serah's voice was suddenly beside him as their shoulders met. Hope found he was glad of the support. "What's wrong?" Her voice was gently, pleading, like she was appeasing a small child. Hope winced - Lightning wouldn't miss that tone in her sister's voice and he was quite sure Serah was going to get hell for treating her like a kid.

He wasn't disappointed.

"Why is it that every time something happens all of you run to me and ask me if something's wrong?" While there was force in her words, Hope was surprised to find that it was obvious she was fighting to keep it steady. Alarmed, he glanced quickly at her, suddenly feeling scared of her reaction. There was no missing the pronounced doubt and pain in her eyes. _Light..._

"Because we care. Claire, I told you before, you have to open up more. I know you've been trying, I know that you've made an effort since, and isn't it much better than keeping your emotions bottled up inside? I know you hate doing stuff alone, so let people in!"

"Shut... _up_!" Serah's words had coaxed a reaction out of her that Hope had never thought was possible. He had _never_ heard her actually lash out with genuine coldness at Serah, had never seen her blue eyes blazing with anger and frustration. Not even when... _Not even that first night we got her back._ This felt different... not the way she'd tried to push them away that night, but this time, a genuine attempt to distance herself from them. _Like being associated with her is going to hurt us._

Serah let out a scared whimper, and she backed into Snow, who held her readily, an unreadable expression in his steel blue eyes. He looked like he was thinking, something unusual for the blond brute that charged right into things _before_ thinking about the consequences. Letting go of Serah, but keeping one hand on her delicate shoulder.

"Light. Instead of projecting your pain and self doubt onto Serah and Hope, why don't you let it out? You don't need to burden yourself with it. We're in this together, you said it yourself. We split the responsibility in everything we do, so stop blaming yourself, stop hating yourself, and spit it out." Snow's voice was calm, and Hope realized he had seen through her anger to what it actually was. _Huh. Maybe he's so used to being yelled at by her that he can tell when it's genuine or not._

Hope turned his attention back to her, suddenly afraid of how she would react, afraid of her explosive anger he was quite sure would be aimed at Snow in a few heartbeats' time. Instead, he saw her ice blue eyes widen in shock as she leaned against a pillar, closing her eyes before taking several shuddering breaths.

"Hope. Serah. I..." She paused, her eyes still closed. Hope saw her fingers tighten under her gloves. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped; I shouldn't have..."

Hope found himself moving forward towards her before he was aware that he was. And when his hand found hers, he realized she was trembling. Soft footsteps sounded behind him as Serah moved to her sister. Hope let go of her as Serah gently took Lightning's wrists in her hands.

"It's okay..."

Hope heard Snow cross his arms behind him. "So, Sis? What's up?" _Trust Snow to be as blunt and insensitive as usual._

A rustle of cloth as Lightning gently pushed Serah off her, blue eyes impassive. She opened her mouth to speak before taking another breath, resting her forehead against the stone. Hope heard her breathe out slowly. _What..._

"Look. I... I know I shouldn't have snapped. But... I still can't tell you. Not until I've figured it out for myself. Okay?" Her tone sounded like she was begging them to understand.

"Okay," Serah whispered quietly. Hope shot her a look - he wouldn't have agreed so easily, but... _Maybe it's better this way._ "But when you figure it out, you have to tell us. Promise?"

Hope saw the ghost of a faint smile stretch Lightning's drawn lips. "I promise."

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><p>Footsteps echoing in the empty hallway, Lightning felt her fingers brush the cold stone of the walls. Hating herself for her earlier outburst, she didn't want to look at Serah or Hope, couldn't bring herself to look at their expressions. <em>How can I tell them? How can I let them have that hanging over their heads for Maker knows how long?<em>

Even Snow. There was no love lost between them, but she couldn't deny that he meant at least half the world to Serah whereas to her.. _Well, I can count on him in a fight._ And the blond oaf had seen right through her facade of anger, right to where the words had hurt most. Controlling her breathing, Lightning tried to internalize the emotions, like the way she'd been taught as a soldier.

_Put away the feelings you don't need. Only concern yourself with the task at hand. Pain only takes over if you let it. Distance yourself from the pain and concentrate on what you need to do.  
><em>

Somehow, she didn't think the 'pain' mentioned in the commanding officer's lecture applied to mental torture inflicted on her by the last words of a Farseer Pulse l'Cie. And she could as easily distance herself from it as cut off one of her legs. Gripping the handle of the omega weapon, she angrily shoved away all thoughts, trying to keep her mind empty and blank, trying to keep her eyes only in front of her.

_I can't do this!_

Her own hopeless realization nearly made her choke. Because there was no way she could keep it at bay now, not when she _knew_. A voice wormed its way into her head: desperate thoughts for desperate people. And she _was_ desperate - maybe she'd believe anything to make herself feel better, as crude a solution to her problems as it was.

_And aren't I desperate?_

But how did she know... she couldn't fight this? Maybe Snow was rubbing off on her, with all his stubborn optimism, but grasping at straws was better than wallowing in her own self despair. They'd defied a Focus before... and a Focus was supposed to be unchangeable, indelible fate. So if this was 'fate', maybe she could... _Change it?_

She would just have to keep a closer eye on them than she already had - there was no way she was going to let anything else happen to them. _I promised them all, at one time or another. And now I know __I _can't_ fail._

She toyed with the trigger of the omega weapon in her right hand, finding it smooth and undamaged - not that she'd ever let it become damaged. Somehow, the touch of the cool metal under her fingertips made her feel better - maybe her obsession with her weapon was the sign of some deep mental instability but she didn't care.

_I will_ not_ let you down. Any of you._

* * *

><p>Snow carefully eased open the heavy door at the end of the hallway made of black marble. <em>Man, how big is this frickin' place?<em> A sudden gust of wind suddenly forced him to slam the door shut as it blew back against him, blowing his coat out.

"Snow, what the hell are you doing?" Lightning's voice didn't sound as snappish as he expected it to be. _She must still be thinking about... that._

Coming over, she wrenched open the wooden door, shielding her face with her forearm from the wind. Pushing her back against the heavy wooden slab, she managed to force it open wide enough to fit an average sized person. She shot him a glare that was more potent than her words had been. "What are you waiting for? Hurry it up!"

Pushing Hope and Serah in in front of him, Snow severely doubted that he would actually fit in the crack that she'd made in between the door and the doorframe without squashing her in the process. Pushing Lightning inside, he took her place with his back against the wood; blatantly ignoring her angry glare, before squeezing past the frame, the door slamming shut loudly. The sound reverberated through the empty room as Snow looked around.

For the first time he'd entered the cathedral, Snow felt claustrophobic. The open portrait hall and black marble hallway had felt just that - open. And the Aquarium and Blossom Sanctuary had felt like he'd been outside. But this - this room was narrow and composed of only one shade as far as he could see - midnight blue, and he couldn't figure out where the gust of wind was coming from. He watched as Hope made his way over to another stone tablet.

"_The Path to Ascension._ That's all it says," he reported. Snow scanned the room, looking for any sort of obvious landmark.

He scratched his head. "What 'path' is there? Anyone see anything?" He felt Serah slip her small hand in his.

"Nope," Lightning's reply was offhand; she was looking around as well. Something small tugged at his sleeve.

He looked down. "What is it, baby?" Serah was pointing at something far down to their right; squinting, Snow could make out something glittering. "Let's go check it out, huh?" Hand in hand with her, they made their way down the hallway, closely followed by Lightning and Hope. Approaching the 'something glittering', Snow couldn't hold back a gasp. It was a weapon. A bow, to be exact, and he exchanged a dubious look with Lightning - no one else here needed a weapon, except...

_And Sis and I have an unspoken agreement not to let her fight... like that._

He felt the warmth of Serah's fingers leave his hand as she went up to the weapon. He heard a movement behind him - Lightning had raised a hand to stop her.

"Serah-"

Snow saw her look back at her sister, then at him. "It's okay... I don't think it's a trap." _How would she know? _

Not about to let her touch the thing along, Snow bounded down the remaining five feet or so they were from the weapon, catching up to her just as she entered arm's length from the weapon. There was another bronze plaque under the bow.

_"Seraphic Wing. Only those who are blessed shall remove it from its eternal resting place and reveal the path to the Divine's zenith." _Serah's voice was hushed as she read the words. Snow looked critically at the weapon - he really didn't see how the bow, which was really not that much bigger than half his armspan could supposedly 'reveal the path' but then again, a little brand could turn a human into a mindless killing monster, so he supposed anything was possible.

"Should we try it?" Hope's voice sounded as apprehensive as Snow felt, as Snow saw him cast a questioning glance at Lightning, who shrugged.

Snow cracked his knuckles. "Well, it can't hurt, can it?." Moving in front of Serah, he held his hand over the sparkling weapon. But the moment his fingers touched the bow, the dim silver glow vanished from the weapon. _Huh. Figures. No one would call me 'blessed'. And I'll eat a Chocobo if Light can pick it up without it losing its sparkle.  
><em>

"I don't think it likes you, Snow," Serah giggled behind him. He ruffled her hair, messing it up considerably in response. Serah just giggled harder, moving his hands off her damp pink hair. But the weapon had the exact same response to both Hope and Lightning, even though Lightning was able to hold it for a few heartbeats before the weapon apparently decided it 'didn't like her'. Snow hid a snigger - he'd been right. Unfortunately, she had seen, and the look in her eyes told him he'd hear about it later.

Serah looked scared, her fingers twisting nervously with his. He pulled her to him, despite the fact that their clothes were still damp. "I believe in you, baby," he murmured into her hair. Bravely disengaging herself from him, Serah stepped forwards and took the weapon from her sister's hands. And the moment she did, the weapon gleamed silver once again.

Pressing his lips to her hair as she looked up, a proud look in her eyes, Snow suppressed a smile. _Somehow... I knew it would be her._

"So now that we have it... now what?" Serah was holding the weapon awkwardly in both hands. Snow was just about to tell her that he didn't know when a rumbling answered her question. He whipped around at the same time Lightning did, the door about fifty yards down where they'd entered had vanished, and a circle of white light had appeared over the stone tablet in the 'centre' of the hallway. Suddenly, the temperature of the room rose. Snow cursed himself when he muttered the thought aloud and Lightning shot him a _'Really?'_ look.

"The wind's stopped," she hissed at him, before letting out a snort. Snow scowled back at her, but she'd already turned and was walking away with Hope right beside her.

No one needed to speak as they walked back towards the circle of what _appeared_ to be daylight. Snow looked up - it was definitely sunlight; he could see a patch of golden orange sunset smeared with crimson clouds. He let out an exhausted sigh. _I've had plenty of 'long days' in the last year or two, but this one has to rank among the top five._

"Now what?" Serah sounded unsure.

Hope wandered over to the stone tablet, before making a surprised sound in his throat. "There's something else here now. Says '_Fire the arrow of truth at the realm that the Maker left to reach the forsaken apex'._ I think the 'realm the Maker left' is the sky, but I'm not sure..."

He saw Lightning go over to scrutinize the tablet, but apparently not finding anything more than what Hope had found, she looked expectantly at Serah. "Worth a try," she said nonchalantly.

Snow cracked his knuckles again, feeling a grin spread on his face. "Well then, baby, fire away." Serah gave him an apprehensive look.

"I...don't know how to use this." Snow swung around to look at Lightning, who was walking over.

"You know how to use a bow, Sis?" She ignored him, tucking a pink strand of hair behind her ear. Inspecting the weapon in Serah's hands, Snow watched her think, her fingers drumming on the opposite arm.

"I know how to use one - in theory. Whether it actually shoots, well..." she finally mused. _Guess being a soldier doesn't mean she knows how to use everything. Heh. Who would've known?_

Snow watched her with Hope at his side, as she placed her hands over Serah's, trying to show her how to use it. Unfortunately, the bowstring sprung back to its original position as soon as Lightning stopped supporting Serah's posture and let go - Serah didn't have enough strength to keep the bowstring taunt. He saw her glance back with an expression that begged for help.

Moving to take Lightning's place, Snow placed his hands on hers, feeling her trembling digits beginning to shake the weapon. "Calm down, baby," he murmured to her. "You're not fighting a war here, take your time." She took a deep breath, and Snow felt her tense limbs relax slightly.

"Okay." Her response was stronger this time. Slowly, he let go as he helped her stretch the bowstring, fully removing his fingers when she had the position right. Serah let go instantly, unable to sustain the stretched length of the silver bowstring. But it was enough - Snow shielded his face when the arrow that left the bow collided with the open part of the roof and the sound of shattering glass was heard. But it wasn't glass that rained down upon their heads. It was feathers, and Snow saw the bow in Serah's hands vanish into a trail of silver dust before he closed his eyes against the white storm.

Opening his eyes, Snow caught the tail of one long, pristine feather in his open palm. There were more, as he plucked a few out of Serah's pink hair, using one to tickle her face. She giggled, but they quickly stopped at the site of Lightning's withering look in their direction. The dark blue room they had been in had vanished. _Maybe the bow... teleported us?_

"Where... are we?" Hope's voice sounded oddly dim in the room... In fact, Snow couldn't even tell if it _was_ a room. There was only the shroud of feathers around them and a single staircase... up.

"Don't know. But I'm not standing around here - there's only one way to go and that's up." Not bothering to wait for a reply or a general consensus of agreement, Lightning started up the stairs.

Snow took a breath before starting up after her. _She'd better not complain about me being slow this time._

* * *

><p>Shaking the feathers out of her pink hair, Lightning raised a hand to shield her face from the deepening crimson sunset as she reached the top of the surprisingly short staircase, unable to hold back a gasp at the sight that was before her.<p>

A chamber made fully of softly tinted glass, with the ceiling opening directly into the sky. The air was fresh here, and she could see that they were at the very top of the cathedral - the entirety of Tythell was spread beneath her. Moving to the centre of the room, every single time her boot hit the surface of the ground, she felt like she was intruding on some sleeping deity's rest. _I feel like I'm an un__wanted intruder._ Her skin crawled at the thought - she'd had a little too much of mythology, fate, and all the rest of that mumbo jumbo for today to last a lifetime.

As a particularly strong gust of wind blew past her, making her now dry cape ripple past her right leg. The touch of cloth on her bare skin made her shiver a little. Walking forwards, she stopped underneath the open circle to the sunset red sky. There was a single glass plaque raised about three feet above her shoulders, filmy with dust. She felt Hope stop at her shoulder - glad for his presence beside her, Lightning found that she could stop trembling and actually focus on the darkened words on the translucent glass.

Silently, she read the words to herself.

_Pulse, the creator of thine home, departed the mortal world from this apex. And we, we leave this cathedral in homage of the fal'Cie god that created our world. If ye desire the light of the fal'Cie, raise your guardian spirit in the Seraph's Apex. _

"Guardian spirit?" Hope echoed her own question. Raking her hands through her cherry coloured hair, Lightning sighed, taking several steps back, observing the shrine like plaque from a distance.

"It's gotta be our Eidolons," she muttered irritatedly. _Fuck... I'm exhausted. I don't even think I can _summon_ Odin, let alone 'raise his spirit' in this goddamn place. _She heard knuckles crack behind her.

"So Sis, you gonna summon, or shall I?" How the hell did she let Snow get on her nerves every single time? She held back an irritated growl, turning her blue eyes onto the blond oaf standing with her sister.

"Go ahead." She really wasn't in the mood to humour him - aches dragged at her lower back and shoulders from all the swimming she'd done earlier and everything else hadn't exactly been a cakewalk. She was going to be a mass of aches tomorrow and that wasn't something that happened often. Rubbing her slender wrists, she watched Snow pull out and punch the heart shaped turquoise crystal.

Another explosion of ice rocked the floor as an icy breeze swept over her - the lithe shapes of Stiria and Nix danced gracefully above her head. The sudden shine from the centre of the room made her shield her eyes from the glare. Feeling slivers of ice rain down on her face and hair, she brushed the wet slivers roughly off her face, hardly daring to look at the centre of the room.

The glass plate had vanished. In its place was a pedestal, an orb shaped golden crystal nestled on a moth eaten velvet cushion. For some reason, there was an alluring gleam to its honey coloured sparkles, almost like it was _compelling _her to move towards it. Her body moved of its own accord - Lightning found herself staring down at the small crystal in a matter of heartbeats.

It was warm to the touch, surprisingly - she had half expected it to freeze her fingers off the moment she touched it. But it felt _alive_ under her fingers, like it had a lifeforce of its own. She held it still for a moment - Lightning could have sworn it was vibrating a little in her hands.

"Now _that's_ a pretty crystal." Snow's voice was uncomfortably close to her and she moved away a few steps angrily, causing him to laugh loudly.

"You sound like a kid who's found his favourite toy," she muttered darkly under her breath, closing her gloved fingers around the tawny jewel.

Snow laughed again, gripping her wrist and trying to shake the jewel out of her hand. Readying her other hand, Lightning didn't regret the Water spell she sent into his face - _that_ made him back off and let go of her, spluttering angrily. Serah and Hope's unbridled laughter echoed through the empty room as she cursed under her breath again. _Serves the stupid idiot right._

"Snow, there's something called _asking_ someone, you know? Get the fuck away from me until you learn some manners." Feeling someone playfully hold her other hand, she found herself looking into the Chesire smile of her sister.

"Please, Claire?" Sighing, Lightning dropped the jewel into her outstretched hand, suddenly feeling strangely empty when the warn honey coloured crystal left her palm. _At least she's not angry at me for swearing at that idiot she calls a husband._

Serah had passed it around, ignoring her dire warning _not_ to give it to Snow. The big man shot her a triumphant glance before she raised her left hand threateningly - she hoped he understood the message unless he _wanted_ his recently re-soaked clothing to be covered in a layer of frost. Finally growing impatient, she snatched it from him when he hadn't been paying attention.

"Stop staring at the thing like it's your kid," she snapped. "In case you've forgotten, we still need to get out of here." Pocketing the crystal, Lightning pushed her shoulder into one of the large glass planes that decorated the walls - it broke under the first impact and she felt wind blow into her face. She hadn't expected it to break so easily, but... _At least it was less work for me._

"Too bad we don't have Bahamut," Snow mused behind her. "This would be a lot easier if we did." Ignoring his useless musings, she concentrated her strength into her own summon - the rose crystal formed in her palm a few moments later. It took a little more than she was used to in calling her Eidolon. _Snow takes half the blame_, she thought angrily.

"_Odin!"_ Leaping off the cathedral's roof in the wake of the Eidolon's scattering of rose petals, she willed it to catch her as she plummeted towards the ground, letting the wind buffet her body, not trying to fight the air resistance that blew past her. The Eidolon's metal arms encased her as it stopped her free fall several feet above the ground, and she leapt out of it, looking back up.

Serah and Snow looked like small pinpricks from where she was standing, feet firmly on the ground. She hoped Snow, in particular, wouldn't chicken out. If Snow would just jump... she was quite sure he would be able to convince Serah to. _And this Eidolon won't remain here waiting for them forever._

Odin caught both Serah and Hope, who both looked a little worse for wear, Hope shooting her his usual _Are-you-crazy_ look whenever she did something that would otherwise be considered 'dangerous'. And then there was Snow. She could feel the strain of getting the Eidolon to stay on her body now - gravity threatened to drag her down, and every muscle screamed at her to dismiss the Eidolon. Refusing to give into the urge, she watched the small white smear that was Snow grow larger as the unseen force pulled him to earth. No sooner did the Eidolon catch him did she dismiss it - promptly, Snow dropped to the ground, landing on his back.

He got to his feet, swearing.

"What the hell was that for, Sis?"

She smirked in his direction before turning around, flicking her cape behind her.

"Your fault."

* * *

><p><strong>Once again, we move from a deepermore intense first half into a lighter second half. Ha, Light just really likes to take her angry/frustration/exhaustion out on Snow. Well... *coughs delicately***

**So this concludes this arc, and I think this has been one of the most fun arcs to write yet! 8D Alternating between deeper portions and lighter, fluffier stuff is a little challenging - I have to change my entire mindset to do it; usually that entails going over to my PS3 and beating up some monsters in XIII/XIII-2 before I can come back with a fresh mindset, but it's worked well for me so far, so... yeah.**

**We're moving on to the next arc in the next chapter - I don't think it's going to be quite as deep like with the intensity of the last chapter, but there is _one_ particularly significant moment I want to get right. Anyways, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.**

**Last thing: I'm also working on real life one shots for this writing workshop I'm in for one of my classes for my English minor, but I could use some more practice. So, I'm open to one shot requests for FFXIII/VII/X if you want one. Just leave me a note or something in either a review or a PM about what you want (characters/themes/genre) and I'll get around to it. The only things I _know _for sure I can't write are yaoi/yuri and actual M rated adult fiction, if you catch my drift. (And in fact, I feel like dedicating a one shot to each and every one of my readers, you guys are that awesome) So yeah, if you want one, let me know somehow. (This portion of the A/N will delete itself within two weeks time, JS)  
><strong>

**Leave love as usual in reviews, and I'll see you guys tomorrow! 8D**

**Hearts!**


	33. Untamed Providence

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! (:**

**Once again my A/N begins with my thanks to my reviewers: GCFarron, OscarMerrinoz96, and Crystal (personally, I don't really see Light with anyone, but if you told me to ship her with someone, my definite preference is Hope. xD). You guys rock. **

**And with regards to those one shot requests - I have them written down on my iPhone, and I will be working on those when I need a break from a chapter. You guys will know when the one that's dedicated to you is up; I'll PM you if I can or you can just lurk my profile. **

**Anyways, this chapter is character development 101, so I'm sorry to say, no action, and no Eidolons, blah. Finally some deep LightxHope for those who have been waiting for some, though, and I even had time for an RL friend to Beta this again (seriously, Haruka, you're amazing, and I know you're reading this) Enjoy as always!**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 33: Untamed Providence<span>

A starless sky stretched above the deciduous trees, leaves black in the moonless night. Serah twisted the end of her pink ponytail nervously - the only way she could tell there were people around her was Snow's comforting arms around her shoulders and the crunch of footsteps on grass and dried leaves in front of her. Snow couldn't be more than a foot away from her, but she couldn't see his face.

The only source of light was the flickering branch they'd lighted with a Fire spell, held carefully in Hope's left hand. She didn't know how her sister knew where they were going, but she wasn't going to argue. Getting out of Tythell had been no easy task - none of them could figure out how to get off the now half sunk island city until Hope had suggested they freeze themselves a path. Serah smiled privately to herself when she thought of that particular slippery journey, glad that her sister couldn't see her smile.

* * *

><p><em>Snow grabbed the end of Lightning's cape as he slipped on the uneven surface of thin ice. Whipping around, Lightning angrily slapped away Snow's grip on the end of her cape. Grinning devilishly at her sister, Snow refused to get go at the contact.<em>

_Watching her sister swear angrily at her husband, Serah hid a smile behind her hand as she exchanged an amused glance with Hope. Snow was trying to dodge his sister in law's furious punches, but he wasn't being very successful - his back hit an uneven ice spire and he stumbled again. Lightning held her fist in front of Snow's face._

_"Snow, if you ever touch me like that again, I will-"_

_"You'll what, Sis? Not afraid of making your sister a widow?" Serah winced - Snow should have known better than to say something like that to her._

_She watched, slightly afraid now, as the familiar anger light in her sister's eyes. "Shut the fuck up, Snow. I don't care_ how _much you mean to Serah. Don't. Mess. With. Me." Lightning punctuated the sentence with a Water spell, but she hadn't been expecting one back. _

_Spluttering angrily, she wiped the sopping hair off her forehead, pulling out her omega weapon. Serah moved forwards the same time as Hope - for a moment she thought her sister was actually going to attack him. Instead, she held the blade barely a centimetre from Snow's nose - Serah saw with relief that he had the decency, or the brains, to look sheepish._

_"One more move, Snow..." Serah flinched - that was her _dangerous_ voice and she knew it a little too well. When Snow didn't reply, shooting Serah an apologetic look, Lightning turned, but not before swiftly kicking Snow in the shin, causing the big man to slide back on the frictionless ice into the water. _

_A scream escaped her lips as the inevitable splash sounded close to them, showering them with muddy, warm water. But what Serah didn't expect was the screech of fury that followed the splash - looking over, Lightning was clinging to the side of the slippery ice with her hands; evidently, Snow had intended to pull her into the water as well. She was cursing angrily, and Serah had to admit her sister_ did_ look funny - dripping pink hair that was rumpled to one side, her face was wet, and the only thing that reminded Serah of her usual self was the fury in her turquoise eyes._

_"Shit! Snow, you..." Laughing openly, Serah reached down to grasp her sister's wrists to pull her up. She caught the sight of her husband's sodden thumbs up several feet below her and she grinned back._

* * *

><p>"Serah! Stop daydreaming and lend me a hand here!" Her sister's irritated voice cut though her reminiscences, and Serah jerked her head up, leaving the comfortable warmth of Snow's coat. Shaking her head slightly to remove the images from them, Serah jogged over to her.<p>

"What, Claire?" Her sister handed her the torch that she'd plucked from Hope.

"Hold this - you're taller than Hope and I need to see." From the flickering flamelight, she could see that her sister had found a cave. _How she saw that in the darkness... I don't know._ The thump of boots on rock made her jump a little - the thought her going into that cave alone wasn't remotely settling. The fingers of her other hand found their way into her mouth; Serah stopped herself before she could chew her nails off.

"She'll be okay." Hope's quiet murmur sounded beside her shoulder. Looking over at the platinum haired teenager, she wondered how he could be so sure. _He has to know it's not safe... He has to care about her... right?_ Her thoughts must have shown on her face, because a faint smile formed on his thin lips.

"I know it's not safe. But the last thing she wants is anyone worrying about her." He looked away from her carefully, like he was choosing the words one by one. "So... you keep your worries about her to yourself. Maybe it's appeasing her way of thinking, but it's not worth arguing with her over."

_Since when has he known her so well? _She knew they were close, she knew they had a connection she could barely begin to understand, but Hope's understanding of Claire reached a level Serah hadn't thought her sister would let anyone else reach. _And maybe... just maybe, that's a good thing. _Serah found her own smile reaching her lips at the thought. _I was betting on him to open her up. And it looks like I was right._

As much as Hope's insight bothered her, she knew, instinctively, that he was right. _There are so many things not worth arguing with Claire over... I can't even count. _Before she could continue musing, the sound of boots on stone grew louder and she knew better than to talk about her sister right in front of her. She could see the distinctive pink hair just a metre or so away underneath her foot level - the cave was partially set into the ground.

"You can come in; it's safe," she reported. Serah waited until Hope had lowered himself into the space between the rock and the earth before she passed the burning branch to him and slid her slender body in between the gap. She barely made it - how Snow was going to get in, she didn't know. _I hope Claire doesn't just plan to leave him out there._

A grunt was followed by a shower of damp earth in her hair - squealing, Serah moved away from the opening as Snow landed in the cave, the entrance now significantly wider than it had been before. Hope giggled behind her as she moved forwards to brush the damp earth off his shirt. His appreciative hand brushed her cheekbones before he removed it, reaching around him for the twigs that Lightning had sent him to get when she hadn't been paying attention.

Hope dropped the branch onto the pile that Snow had brought - instantly, the cave bloomed into a flickering orange circle. Sitting down on the cold stone before she went to dig in the backpack she carried for their food, Serah dumped the handful of various roots and greens into the base of the fire before sitting on Snow's lap, her back against his chest. She felt his arms wrap automatically around her.

Ignoring the disgusted look Lightning shot in their direction, Serah made herself comfortable.

"She's just jealous," Snow whispered in her ear, causing her to giggle. Serah closed her mouth the instant her sister shot daggers in their direction before she spread the map they'd stolen from the Oerba Ruins on the ground.

"So." Lightning's voice was as curt as usual. "We've covered the Demonsoul Tower and the city of Tythell. The question is, where's the next one?" Hope leaned over, carefully inspecting the worn paper.

"There's four of them, right?"

She felt Snow shift - taking the hint, she moved off him as he made his way over. There was a long silence as everyone looked at the map of Gran Pulse, trying to think where the next crystal would be. It was only after almost ten minutes of silence before anyone voiced a thought.

"If you were the 'cause' of the Eclipse... you'd want to make sure you were involved in it somehow...right?" Hope spoke slowly, his tone unsure. Serah could see him staring intently at the map, green eyes filled with thoughtfulness.

Snow cleared his throat. "Yeah, but so what?"

Hope glanced at him. "Think about it. If Pulse left the world at Tythell, wouldn't it make sense that a crystal would be located where Lindzei and Etro, the other two fal'Cie gods, left?"

Serah saw her sister glance curiously at him, reaching out a hand to stop Snow from voicing an objection. Snow shot her an exasperated look - Serah knew exactly what he was thinking. _He thinks that Claire respects Hope more than him... and he could very well be right. _She smiled a little, hoping he'd get the message to just humour them for the time being.

"Well, the two places are pretty clearly marked on the map. Lindzei's shrine is known as Lahrima Castle, and the place where Etro was last seen was the Ice Cliff Palace."

Snow cracked his knuckles, shooting a knowing glance at her before continuing. "Well, that's the best idea anyone's had all evening. I don't see the harm in looking around them - we wandered uselessly plenty the first time we were in this place, right guys?"

When no one objected, Snow patted the back of his bandanna again before making his way back to her. "Alrighty! We'll set off for the closest one tomorrow morning then." His arms came around her again and she readily held him back, burying her face into 'her' spot on his shoulder. "You want first watch, or shall I take it, Sis?" Serah smiled against Snow's broad shoulder - he knew better now than not to ask her.

From what she could see above the line of Snow's shoulder, Serah saw her sister give them a critical look.

"Well, Snow, seeing as Serah can't seem to tear herself away from you at the moment, I think _I'll_ take first watch. Don't worry, I'll wake you if I need a hero to help me with something."

She heard his deep chuckle reverberate in his throat as Serah snuggled against his warmth, grateful for the press of his body against hers. "You got it, Sis."

* * *

><p>Lightning listened to the breathing behind her slowly deepen and slow down. Settling herself into a new position just in front of the dying coals of the fire, she wrapped her arms around her knees, ignoring the feel of the cold stone against the back of her bare legs. Fiddling with the edge of the leather of her gloves, she let herself relax a little. Nothing could sneak up on them, and she'd see - and hear - anything else that might come barreling her way.<p>

Soft footsteps on stone made her turn slightly. "Hope, you should be sleeping." Her voice came out more exasperated than she'd meant to, and she saw him flinch a little. Pressing one hand up to her forehead, fingers raking her bangs, she let out a groan. "Urgh, sorry, it's nothing against you... I just..." _I just can't get Xue's prophecy out of my head and I don't want to bother you or Serah with it._

She felt a light, phantom touch on her shoulder, and instinctively, she flinched away a little. The touch didn't vanish though, and she forced herself to relax. _It's just Hope... I shouldn't be reacting like this._ But she knew exactly why her body was reacting like this. _I don't know if this is the last time... I'll see or hear your voice. And as sick as it sounds, I don't know if this is the last time I..._ _can _be_ with any of you. And that's what hur__ts the most: I don't know how much time _we _have left._

"Light? Are you ready yet? You know... to tell us?"

Lightning let out another soft groan - she definitely _did not_ want to talk about this right now. A part of her told her to let it out at the same time her other half told her to stop being pathetic and weak. _I... don't know anymore...!_

"Hope." Her voice caught on the one syllable his name lasted. "If I tell you... will you _promise_ not to tell Serah and Snow?" She found herself looking into his intoxicating sea green eyes, both hating and appreciating the concern she saw in their depths. She couldn't see the rest of his features that well in the dying light, but it was probably for the better - she hated looks of pity.

"I promise." He hadn't even questioned _what_ exactly she was hiding. And Lightning realized that was what she liked about him - maybe it was naive of her to be so expectant of his complete trust in her, but on the other hand, and she hated herself for thinking this way, was that somehow, she knew he understood. _Maybe I'm just going soft, but I can trust him in a way I can't do with Serah._

She took a breath before she continued. _Maker... I really don't want to see... What if he hates me for it? What if..._ There were so many doubts she didn't think she'd be able to count them and still put on the strong, determined front she knew he'd come to expect from her. Realizing she was trembling slightly, she willed herself to stop - there was no good reason to scare him more than she was already going to.

"Hope. Xue said something to me... right before she died. She said... 'What you pursue will be yours... But you will lose something dear.'" She wrenched herself away from him... afraid to look at his reaction, and afraid of how he would see that. There was a long silence that followed her barely audible words.

"And you're going to take that lying down?" The question surprised her so much she glanced up back at him. _What..._ He didn't wait for her to say something. "Light, you're probably going to hate me for saying this, and I know you hate mushy stuff, but... You're the strongest person I know. It was because of you... you and Snow, that I found the courage to keep fighting. I don't think... No, scratch that. I _know_ I wouldn't have made it back to Eden to fight Orphan if you weren't there. So, don't give up. I know Xue was a Farseer l'Cie. I know she can see the future. But we've changed our fates before. And we'll do it again."

She found herself staring into his green eyes. She wanted so badly to believe it, to believe that they _could_. _And he believes it... so should I... right?_ Lightning realized her breathing was slowing a little, and she forced herself to relax, to actually _think._ Yes, they'd changed their fates before, but it wasn't without a cost. The two still crystal figures in Cocoon's amaranthine shell was testimony to that.

A soft touch of fingers met her left hand. Before she realized what she was doing, she found herself holding onto his hand like it was a lifeline. Like it was the only thing she had left to cling before the enormity of the future she'd been presented with crushed her underneath its steel grip. She felt a slight prickle of shame that she'd come to rely on him so easily like that, and if Snow happened to wake up...

But if she was honest with herself, she had to admit that such close contact with another human being... wasn't as bad as she always touted it to be. Especially since she needed the mental support at the moment, especially when she wanted so badly to believe in his words. It was awhile before she mustered the inner equilibrium to speak.

"You think so?" He nodded. Once.

She let out a sigh, looking back briefly behind her for a moment. Snow was fast asleep - she was sure she didn't want him to wake up and catch them holding hands. "Thanks, Hope," she finally muttered quietly. "Since when did you become so mature?" She was surprised at her own question - usually she pushed people away before things got personal like that. _But I think... well... I know now that holding certain people at arm's length... isn't the best solution to certain problems. And if I'm honest... if I really have to admit it... I'm glad he's here. I'm glad I met him._

He chuckled softly. "Since you told me to 'toughen up' back at the Vile Peaks. Remember?"

She shot him a glare. "That's not what I meant."

"Honestly, Light, you take everything so seriously. Okay, okay..." he added, seeing the look on her face. "Well... let's see. I think... I knew I needed to do more the night we got you back... You remember, right?" His voice was a little tentative, and she could tell he was trying to gauge her reaction to his words.

_Shit. Why did it have to come back to that?_ Her only other moment of definite public weakness. The same nightmare still trawled through her dreams sometimes, but she had tried her best not to show it.

But he ploughed on, clearly relieved she hadn't said anything yet. "And you're probably going to well, slap me for this, but I think then... well, I think I realized you could cry too, as horrible as that sounds." And funnily enough, she knew what he meant. _Am I supposed to feel offended?_ Somehow, she didn't think she was that bothered by his words - it was true she hid all of that behind an impassive cold mask. "And so... well, I think then, I realized I needed to grow up too. Because, Light... I don't think I've told you, but I know I don't... and I know Serah doesn't... no one wants to see you like that, okay?"

"I get it," she murmured quietly. She didn't want to hear anymore. _Why am I... Why do I always break down when I need strength the most? _But she also couldn't deny that in this moment, she wouldn't have dragged herself through it if he hadn't helped her convince herself. "Thanks." It felt odd, still, to hear the appreciative word escape her lips. But there was nothing else to say that would express the way she felt. And she didn't dare say anything else lest he take it the wrong way.

Lightning didn't pull away when he rested his head on her shoulder, silver hair tickling her collarbone.

* * *

><p>Snow rubbed his eyes to the milky pink of dawn that was beginning to seep through the gap from the earth to the top of the cave. He smiled wickedly to himself - he'd woken up halfway through the night to see Lightning and Hope sitting <em>very<em> closely together, and in fact, they still were - Hope had fallen asleep leaning against her now sleeping form. Snow held back the cackle that was rising in his throat; surprised as he was that Light had let him, he wasn't going to let her hear the end of it for awhile. _Sis... you've just provided me with the entertainment of a lifetime._

A few birds sang delicately in the black branches that were silhouetted sharply against the rouge tinted sky. Moving over stealthily, he tickled Serah in the side, clamping his hand over her small cherub mouth when she woke with an indignant fit of the giggles. He saw her look at him questioningly before he pointed behind him. Her expression changed from slight irritation and puzzlement to one of soft affection and happiness.

She pulled his big hand from her mouth. "That's so cute!" she squealed quietly, blue eyes filled with a happiness Snow had rarely seen her with outside of her time with him. He smiled devilishly.

"Sis is never going to hear _anything_ else from me."

This time, it was her turn to press a slim finger to his lips. "Shush. Remember, I told you, if you want to see more, don't say _anything_." Her happy expression lifted his heart, before he saw her turn her eyes downwards. "And don't give her a hard time, Snow, please. It's hard enough as it is getting her to open up to everyone - if you tease her, she'll stop..." Her slightly forlorn voice trailed off glumly.

He laughed quietly. "Okay, okay, baby, I get it. It's just..."

"Just what?" Her curious smile had returned to her lips.

"Remember when she first met me? And she thought I was too old for you?" He smiled broadly at the memory - Lightning's rage at the time had been so extreme it might have been comical if the situation hadn't been so serious. Serah stopped to stare at him, blue eyes full of playful inquiry.

"Uh huh. So what?"

Snow held both of her hands in his. Leaning down to her ear, he whispered into it. "Well, _doesn't_ _she_ look like a hypocrite? Hm?" He felt her wrench a hand out of his grip before playfully slapping him in the cheek.

"You don't get it. You don't even _know_ that she's... they're... well, you know." Her voice took on a slightly more stern tone. "I don't want to push things with her, and I know you know that."

Rubbing his cheek delicately, Snow stared at the petite face of his wife looking up at him. "You're so cute when you're angry, baby. I know, I know... I'll let them figure themselves out on their own, I don't need you to tell me. It was just a thought." Her smile returned to her lips and her teal eyes sparkled with amusement.

"Just a really _mean_ thought! Even if they were, you know, _together_... that's still mean. Age shouldn't be a factor if you care about someone, so don't be that way." She paused for a moment, clearly thinking. "They're not even... Urgh, Snow, you're sick, did you know that? She cares about him. In what way, well, we'll all see when we get there; I don't think she knows herself. And the same goes for Hope. So don't even think about mentioning it in front of her, Snow. I don't think she'd take it very well."

This time, his laugh was hearty. "No, I don't think so," he agreed amicably. Snow rubbed the back of his neck, stretching the sore back muscles that had leaned against the curve of the stone cave all night. He felt the smile return to his lips. _Guess you're off the hook this time, Sis. Though if you make it more obvious, well, don't blame me if I tease you._

Pulling Serah up to the mouth of the cave again, Snow wiped his hands on the rock before glancing up at the sky. The steadily pinkening sky told him which way was east, and he relished the morning air - the air in the cave had been musty and the fresh breeze of dawn tasted sweet. He set off with Serah into the forest, intending to perhaps fetch some more roots for their lunch when he stubbed his toe on a rock.

"_SHIT!_" His curse was loud and sent the birds above their heads fluttering away in alarm. Serah giggled as he hopped around on one foot - half of it was for her entertainment, but he hadn't been expecting -

"Snow, what the hell did you do this time?" Lightning's angry voice sounded a little distant. _Crap, I woke her up._

She emerged by herself from the mouth of the cave, pink hair slightly disheveled, turquoise eyes full of suspicion. Snow worked hard to hold back the stupid grin he knew was going to spread on his face when he dwelled upon the reason _why_ her hair was messed up - she would figure it out instantly and probably kick him for it. Nonetheless, some form of his amusement must have shown on his face because a skeptic expression crossed her face and she looked at him oddly. _Oh shit, please don't figure it out, please don't make it look so obvious..._

Luckily, Serah came to his rescue. "Claire, can you give me a hand here? This root is being really stubborn." Snow hid his expression of relief until she turned her back, helping Serah tug out what he assumed was an edible root. _Baby, you're the best._ A rustle came from beside him - a tousled platinum head of hair popped up by his feet. Snow coughed, trying to cover his barely hidden amusement.

"Morning kid. Ready to hit the road?" He thought he sounded a little too happy, but if he did, Hope didn't notice. _He'll need to be a lot more observant to reach Sis's level._

"Yup."

Stuffing the handful of roots Serah pressed into his palm into the backpack, Snow slung it over his shoulders before setting off hand in hand with Serah, thoroughly enjoying the sight of Lightning and Hope walking together in front of them.

_Sorry, baby, but if this keeps up I won't be able to help myself._

* * *

><p>The thinnest claw of a waxing moon glimmered above their heads. They'd been walking for days now in the direction of the Lahrima Castle, and there was still no sign of it. Hope was beginning to get tired of the sameness to the trees, the sameness to the breeze blowing through the dark green leaves. Summer was coming full on, and the nights were beginning to get hot. Even now - it had been at least an hour and a half that the sun had set and he could <em>still<em> feel the line of sweat at the back of his neck.

A wall of brambles stopped him in his tracks; edging away from the thorny barbs, Hope tried to look for a way around it. Not finding one suitable for someone his size, he tried a Fira. And all the spell did was set the hedge on fire, arguably making it even more unpassable. Quickly, he sent a Waterga at the brambles, hopefully Light hadn't seen...

She had. Giving him an exasperated look, she came over, Serah and Snow trailing behind her. "What the hell... did you just try?"

He shuffled his feet. Clearly the 'moment' they'd shared about a week ago didn't have any bearing on her current temperament. In fact, she acted like it hadn't happened - she was just as blunt as usual. Hope felt a twinge of doubt hook his stomach - he didn't know _why_ he was so bothered by the fact that she was acting this way. He wasn't sure about how he felt about her - she was someone to look up to and to stand with, to protect, that much was for sure, but beyond that... he really didn't know; Hope felt a faint line of heat spread up his neck at the thought. But anything was better than having her angry at him - maybe he was being too sensitive; it wasn't like she hadn't spoken like that to him before.

"Erm, tried burning the hedge so we could get through?" he tried hopefully, looking up at her with an apologetic glance.

She sighed, shaking her head.

Snow cleared his throat behind them. "Well, you can't really say it hasn't been effective. Cause look what's beyond these ugly pricklies." Hope turned around quickly - his spells had worked... to a degree. While there was a now fairly human sized hole in the brambles, at first he couldn't see what Snow was so happy about - all he could see were more brambles and more hedges. He heard Serah gasp beside him, and he followed Snow's finger upwards.

Silhouetted against the dark sky was an even darker shape. And he wasn't an expert at mythology and fantastical things, but he was fairly sure that the shape up ahead, situated on a dark bluff, was a castle.

And he knew all too well what castle it was.

_We found it._

* * *

><p><strong>So. Wow. I don't think I was lying when I said this chapter is <em>full<em> of character development. Hope and Light, especially, but that was kind of the point. xD We move on in the story in the next chapter though, and I do apologize if some of you found this chapter boring - personally, I thought it was amazingly rewarding to write: exploring character depth not presented in the original XIII is definitely one of the better aspects to writing fanfiction. n_n **

**That scene with Snow and Serah, with Snow accusing Light of pedophilia, basically, that scene was extremely fun to write. Ha. I really don't know what else to call it. There are some fics out there (namely one of them that does an _amazing_ job) which _does_ explore their relationship as their ages are in XIII. I, for one, actually do cringe a little at the idea of them and their in game ages... and well, you'll see how I work out their relationship. **

**Anyways, enough of my bumbling about that. Leave love as always in reviews, and I'll see you guys next time! I have work again after class tomorrow, and so don't expect the next chapter before Thursday. **

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	34. Aegis

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR!**

**And I begin as always, with all the love I got: GCFarron, (Yes! You share my obsession with nice numbers!) Whistlewind Wolf, Mylaervain, OscarMerrinoz96, and Zapper90. Thank you guys very much for the compliments and words of encouragement! I'm glad you guys seem to find Snow likeable - I totally agree that he got on my nerves a LOT in the original XIII but I thought the love story being played out was well done. 8D**

**As for LightxHope, I'm glad you guys found them believable and that the scene was done okay! I stressed a LOT about that particular part, trying to get it right. I'm happy you guys enjoyed it!**

**To Whistlewind Wolf - haha, well, most of my exams are over now so I have quite some time on my hands. (Plus, the PS3 got packed away in a box so I can't really play right now; relying on my PSP for entertainment) But I think the main motivation is my own desire to write well, and the love I have for the XIII characters and plot - they're highly inspiring, and that makes me want to write! It takes about 2-3 hours for me to write a chapter, and well, my RL friends are fine with me bothering them, ha!**

**Anyways, I'll be quiet now and let you guys in on the next chapter. Enjoy as always! (:**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 34: Aegis<span>

Something rattled in the dense bushes as Serah followed Snow upwards on the dark bluff. She backed away quickly, not wanting to disturb whatever was in there. Snow held her close, eying the bushes suspiciously. Nothing sprang out at them, though, and she felt him relax.

"It's okay, baby. There's nothing there." His reassuring voice calmed her a bit. Suddenly, he stopped walking, pulling her to him. Serah observed the tense stances of her sister and Hope. _There's something up ahead... isn't there?_

They hadn't even gotten to the castle yet and the place was teeming with monsters. Serah found herself wistfully wishing for the monster-free cathedral of Tythell; at least _there_, there hadn't been so many..._creepy crawlies. _This next one was slowly approaching them in the faint light provided by the sliver of moon above their heads – it _looked _like some form of a Gorgonopsid. She heard the unsheathing of a weapon.

But the monster wasn't aiming for Lightning even though her sister was much closer to the beast - Serah realized with a start that it was going for her. Somehow, it had sensed that she was the weakest one here. Snow instantly barreled into her side, pushing her out of the way. The monster landed several feet to their right; snarling as it skidded on the wet grass.

"Get it, Sis!" he yelled back.

A storm of spells rained down on the thing, but even from behind Snow, Serah could see they weren't having that much of an effect. As the Aeroga blew her hair out behind her, Serah felt the comforting pressure of Snow's body leave her side._No! _she wanted to shout for him, wanted him to come back, but fear held her in its grip. She could only watch as they tried to take on the monster.

The thing was decidedly avoiding the swipes of Lightning's gunblade, rearing up every time she tried to slash it with the metal. Serah could hear her sister's furious growl as the monster dodged the length of the weapon. It was getting slammed with spells otherwise, but even from here Serah could tell it knew, somehow, that the weapon was going to do more harm than the spells would.

They were forcing it away from her, though, and Serah found herself biting her nails before she told herself to stop. A loud squeal grated through her eardrums - her sister had managed to bury several bullets into its shoulder and it had hit the floor. Another punch from Snow launched it up into the air.

"Aggression!" It only took a few more swipes before the monster's body hit the ground. Snow returned to her side, breathing hard, but grinning.

"See, baby, told you there was nothing to it." Serah allowed herself to smile back, but it was more for him than her actual happiness. _I hate it when I'm so useless._

His hand found hers again as they climbed the soft incline together. Feeling the rapid thump of his heartbeat when she rested her head on his shoulder, Serah permitted herself to feel a little better. They were fine...no one had been hurt..._ But I still wish...I could do more._

* * *

><p>Her boot chipped a piece of broken tile as it scuffed across the rough stone surface; Lightning muttered a curse under her breath as the force sent the small shard of stone spinning into the darkness beneath the bridge. <em>I sound as discreet as Snow. <em>She looked up at the looming stillness of the castle; it gave off a misleading vibe of peace - the place was probably a monster breeding ground, judging by what they'd already seen.

The bridge ahead was flooded with moonlight, though, and there were no monsters in sight. Resting her back against a column, she waited for everyone else to catch up. The soft footsteps grew closer as Hope, Serah, and Snow came into her view, Hope looking at her quizzically.

"Do we want to wait for morning, or do we charge in?" she asked quietly.

Snow looked thoughtful, for a change. "Well, I don't mind resting up, but let's say we wait till tomorrow evening."

She looked at him suspiciously, not sure why he wanted to wait until it was dark. "Why?"

He held up a finger. "Let's think about it. They probably know we're headed here, and they've probably figured out that this place was Lindzei's Ascension. We'll have a better chance of sneaking up on them if it's dark."

"But there's also more monsters when it's dark," Hope put in, looking from Snow to her. Lightning crossed her arms - she could see Snow's point of view, and logically, it made sense, but it _was_ true more monsters lurked around at night.

"But that'll keep them busier as well. It's a win-win situation," finished Snow. He looked proud of himself, and she let out a snort.

_It's been awhile since one of Snow's plans hasn't been 'charge right in like idiots and worry about everything when we get there.'_ She realized that everyone else was looking at her for approval. Uncrossing her arms, she turned around. "I don't see why not." Sitting down against the column, she watched Snow play with Serah's hair, the act culminating into a fit of giggles and a game of tag. _Those two...__they__ will never grow up, will they? _And maybe that's what she liked about them - they were unaffected by whatever life decided to throw their way.

Unlike her. She knew she was a mental and emotional mess at the moment, and it was only because the Maker had been so gracious that there hadn't been time for Serah to nitpick it out of her. _Huh. I don't think I've been as carefree as _that _since..._Since her mother had died, really. And in a way, she was almost _jealous _of their happiness - she was quite sure it would be something she'd never experience.

_I'm being stupid. _Shaking her head, she forced the emotions out of her mind. She was _glad _Serah was happy, who was she trying to fool? Lightning found her slender fingers curling into a fist again when the now old thoughts of the prophecy wormed into her brain. _And I will _not _let _anything _take that away._

Closing her eyes to shut out everything else, she tried to clear her mind, the way she'd been taught. And this time, when there was no one trying to kill them, no one trying to make her summon something she didn't want to, she found it easier. Emptying her thoughts, she focused on her breathing, trying to relax the tension in her muscles.

"Claire?" Lightning groaned inwardly at the sound of her sister's voice. She didn't want to deal with whatever Serah wanted this time, didn't want to hear Serah obsess over her current well being.

"What?"

She felt Serah sit down beside her, finding her fingers. And instantly, Lightning was reminded of the moment in the cave, with Hope. Shaking her head slightly to dislodge her embarrassment at the memory, she trailed her other hand down her neck, feeling an unfamiliar flush creep up it. "Claire, are you okay?"

She was about to open her mouth to say something snappish, catching herself at the last moment. Taking a breath before replying, she tried to control her shaky breathing. "Serah, I told you to stop worrying. I'm fine."

Her sister's blue eyes met hers, and Lightning noticed Serah's _I-don't-believe-you _look in them. "You still haven't told us...you know. Have you thought about it?"

_Figures for her to ask for the one thing I can't tell her in her first sentence._ "I have...sort of." She paused, hoping Serah would get the hint. But she didn't - Serah just looked at her expectantly. _How can I tell you...without..._"Serah, I don't think-"

"You're hiding stuff again, aren't you?" Her sister's voice was unusually curt; removing her hands from Lightning's, she clenched them into fists at her sides. "Claire, I told you-"

She didn't let Serah finish. "I _know_, okay? Serah, I-" She couldn't continue. Moving a hand to her mouth, she tried to stop herself from choking on her own words, but it didn't work; she couldn't stop the pained whimper that escaped past her lips. She felt Serah grasp her shoulders roughly, shaking her. _Shit, why..._

"What is it? Claire, talk to me!" Feeling her heartbeat accelerate, Lightning took deep breaths, trying to calm down before she snapped. Pressing the back of her hand to her mouth again, she closed her eyes, trying to find the inner equilibrium she'd had all of five minutes ago. A spark of appreciation flared when Serah didn't press her; just waiting for her to speak.

"Serah...it's just...a lot of stuff has happened, okay? And a lot of stuff I don't want to think about...okay?"

"Claire, don't you trust me?"

It was spoken with a gentle, appeasing tone, but for some reason, those words hurt the most. It was exactly same..._Once, I hated myself for pushing her away, for feeling that she didn't trust _me. _I..._

"No!" She sounded as desperate as she felt. "It's not that..."

"Then... what is it?" The deep breaths weren't helping her calm down, and Lightning realized how _utterly pathetic I must look right now. _She could only thank her rare lucky stars Hope and Snow were asleep and they hadn't woken them. Her throat felt unusually tight and it was hard to get words out without feeling them rake her lungs in the effort it took to speak.

A small sniffle interrupted her thoughts. _No, Maker, please...I promised..._Automatically moving to Serah, she tried to reach out to her. But her sister backed away from her, and Lightning realized that...

_I can't..._

"Serah...please?" She was stuck. Stuck between somewhere painful and absolute hell. Her own pain, and watching Serah crying in front of her, unable to speak the words she wanted to hear. The next words came like a slap on the face.

"Claire, you told me... back in Tythell... there was something you wanted to ask me. Something you said you were afraid of my response to. Is this it?" The expression in Serah's eyes was determined. "What are you afraid of? Aren't you not scared of anything? Why are you hiding stuff from me? What could be possibly so important you can't tell _your own sister_? I told you my secrets, right? I was afraid of how _you'd _react, right? But I still did it. What happened to you?"

_Please...no. Serah, stop..._

Unable to voice a coherent reply, Lightning just stood there, half in shock, half trying to suppress the storm of pain threatening to rip her apart. But Serah didn't take her silence that way, as she saw the blue eyes flare with an anger in them she hadn't seen for a very long time.

"Fine, Claire, if you want to hide stuff from me, then do it." Turning, Serah walked the few feet away to rest beside Snow, snuggling against him, pointedly turning her back. Even in sleep, the big man instinctively wrapped an arm around her.

The urge to run to Serah, to apologize, was strong. It was so tempting...to just give in and tell her. So they wouldn't be arguing, so Serah wouldn't be mad at her. _But I swore...no matter how much it hurt, I wouldn't dump this on her. That I wanted her to be happy, to be the childlike, happy person I saw just today. And this...I can't do it. Even if it means she'll be angry at me for Maker knows how long._

Her back to the column, she really didn't have anywhere to run. And there was nothing to run _from._Going somewhere else wasn't going to change anything. There would only be the one thing she _could _do, and that was to suppress her own emotions as well as she could, to steel her own will that she wouldn't tell Serah, and to hope that...

_That everything will be okay._

* * *

><p>Snow carefully observed Serah as she walked beside him, pink hair glistening in the moonlight; bright against the dark path that led to the castle's interior, absent mindedly humming to herself. His wife hadn't seemed like her usual cheerful self this morning, and Lightning was acting odd too. <em>I wonder if...<em>

He pushed the thought away. He'd never actually seen them _fight _before, as close as things had gotten that one night back at home. _They're probably just...tired ._He shrugged to himself, his thoughts confirmed as Serah rested her head against his shoulder.

"Something up, baby?" Not that he really expected her to say anything about it. To his surprise, she fixed a serious blue gaze on him.

"Just Claire..."

_Uh oh._ He pulled an arm around her. "What's wrong _this _time?"

"I think she's hiding something from us." The words were slow, but there was no uncertainty in them. "She keeps refusing to tell me, well, whatever it was she promised to tell me. And you know what I told you she said."

He hugged her tighter. "I know, I know...but maybe you should give her some time." If he was honest, he didn't really see why it was such a big deal. It wasn't like Lightning hadn't hidden stuff before.

"But I have...Snow, I don't think she trusts me."

_Bull If there was one thing I know about Sis, it's that she cares about Serah more than anything in the world. Nobody voluntarily Purges themselves otherwise, and no one takes on the whole frickin' world for one person if they didn't._

Before Snow had a chance to reply to her statement, the shifting of rock in the somewhat crumbling castle sounded above his head. Pushing Serah in front of him, Snow covered his head with one hand while urging her onward with the other.

"Run!" he shouted in front of him. His feet slipped a little on the cold stone of the spiral staircase, but he didn't stop. One glance behind him told him whole sections of the wall were coming down, and he did _not _want to be buried underneath it. _Someone's here for sure. No way does the wall come down like that unless someone..or _something_...has stomped on it._ A faint sliver of moonlight peeked through the window at the end of the hallway they were standing in. Snow could see the hallway opened onto a courtyard flooded with silver - but there was no one else but them in sight. Hustling Serah in front of him, he fixed his gaze on Lightning's cape as she walked. _Is this what's got to her too? _He couldn't control the errant thought that crossed his mind.

Stepping out onto the wet grass of the courtyard, Snow looked up. The spires of the towers loomed above them, but he couldn't see anything except the silhouettes that defined them. The sudden flap of wings interrupted his thoughts, and he whipped around.

A lone figure with a solitary wing. Feathers drifted before his face, momentarily obstructing his view of the figure. But he would recognize those golden eyes anywhere, as Yorun landed lightly in front of them. Snow heard the unsheathing of a weapon behind him, and he readied his own gloves, curling his hands into fists. The cat-like smile was prominent on the man's face.

"Look who's made it here...though we don't seem all that happy...what's with the long faces?" Snow felt Serah tense beside him as the man's eyes lingered on her. He felt icy cold creepers crawl up the back of his neck at the sight of the strange and yet now familiar golden orbs But the man swept on, clearly undaunted by the silence that met his words.

"Ah well. I guess we're not ones to talk today. A little too bad, but can't have you four disrupting _my_ plans for this place." The man waved a hand behind him, before flapping the single wing, showering them with ragged, long feathers again. "Maybe we'll meet soon enough..._if_ you survive, that is."

Snow backed away, pulling Serah by the back of the shirt, when he heard the snarls coming from the untrimmed and untamed hedges that hugged the side of the bright courtyard. He felt the press of Hope's back against his as they formed a tight triangle in the middle of the dew splattered grass, Snow shoving Serah roughly behind him.

"Don't spread out," he heard Lightning hiss from his other side. "They're coming – Snow, Relentless Assault!" Snow bunched his fingers into an even tighter fist before he realized that the monster pack had paused just outside of his striking range._Like they're taunting me. Well, eat this!_

"Ruin!" The ball of silver smashed into the ground, scattering the silence of the fight so far and sending several flying into the air. He heard other spells crash into the ground. One came in range of his blows and he sent it flying into a column with one blow – it squealed sharply before falling still on the ground next to it.

Snow cracked his knuckles._Bring it on._

Several more made the mistake of coming into his range – Snow decapitated them before they knew what hit them. A nag of doubt started to eat at him – this was too easy; the monsters barely put up much of a resistance before a blow dealt with them. And he knew Yorun had other forces, whether it was those manadrive wielding red-eyed clones, or those lab bred genetically enhanced monsters – so why send these after them when it was so blindingly obvious they were too weak to even be a match?

The one word Hope hissed was all Snow needed to know. "Distraction."

_That's it! He's buying time...goddammit!_ With a renewed fury, he moved forwards to take out three with one swipe – the sooner these were dispatched with the sooner they could catch up to the one winged freak.

"Snow, don't move-" But Lightning didn't have time to finish the reprimand before he heard Serah shriek. Swinging around, he saw Lightning and Hope backing away from one of the biggest creeps he'd seen yet – one of the scythe swinging hooded things that they'd fought in the Farseer initiation cavern.

This one was just as ugly as Snow remembered it before he ran to them, bringing his fists up to shoulder height. A spear of shock shot through him when it spoke.

"Looks like we're all together, aren't we?" He hissed a curse under his breath – the thing had Yorun's disgusting tones embedded in its voice and somehow, he knew that somewhere, the bastard was controlling it. "Why don't I tell you a little secret? One I know my dear_Lightning_has been hiding."

Snow whipped around – her blue eyes were wide with shock, and then as sudden pain filled them, he saw her raise her weapon.

"_No!"_

The word sounded like she was denying everything that had ever existed.

_What the hell...is going on? Why...what the hell are they talking about?_

* * *

><p>Lightning felt the denial rip through her entire body as the <em>thing <em>mentioned the 'secret'. It couldn't...s_he_ couldn't... She felt Hope's gaze rest on her, but she tried to ignore it. She knew_ he _knew the reason why Serah had been angry with her without her saying a thing. Pushing Snow roughly out of the way, she held up her omega weapon at the place where the thing's forehead should have been. There was no way...

A small chuckle emanated from it. "Don't try to hide it... Xue predicted that you would lose something dear, wouldn't you?" There was a pause that seemed to last both a heartbeat and an eternity. "And how tragic would it be if it happened tonight?"

She heard the collective intake of breath behind her. Not trusting herself to look at Serah...at_ any _of them, she fired the bullet, trying to suppress the tidal wave of pain and guilt that threatened to swamp her, and trying to channel those same emotions into anger. The projectile bounced uselessly off the large curved weapon, as the thing let out an insane laugh. "This is what you were scared of? I didn't know you were so naive, Lightning. I thought you _trusted_ your friends." She couldn't help it anymore – trying to fight was useless and she knew it.

Turning around for the span of a single heartbeat, she saw shock – and only shock – reflected in the eyes of her sister and Snow, and something akin to pity in Hope's. _Stop it!_ She wanted to shout at them, but her limbs wouldn't let her move in their direction. Forcing herself to look at Serah, forcing herself to remember what had transpired between them last night, she _wanted_ to find some sort of solace in the blue eyes – belief? Acceptance? Lightning had no idea what would make her feel better at the moment, but the sharp shock and denial she saw in her sister's eyes was _not _what she wanted to see.

Something sliced into her back – the moment she'd taken to gauge their reaction had rooted her to the spot, making her an easy target. The breath was driven from her chest as she was forced to her knees, before the thing kicked her away roughly, quickly moving towards Serah and Snow. Grasping the weapon she'd managed to keep in her right hand, Lightning tried to cast something..._anything. _But there was nothing. Even if she wasn't so drained by the emotional strain of the entire situation, she couldn't concentrate, her fingers wound tightly into the long unkempt grass as she tried not to cry out. A Cure spell washed over her, momentarily wiping away the pain, but it wasn't enough. And Hope didn't have time to cast another as she watched, helplessly, as the thing swung the scythe in Serah's direction and Hope's attention was diverted back to the battle.

Snow was moving away from it _fairly_ well; his utter determination to protect Serah was fueling his strength at the moment. But Hope's eyes flickered back to her more than once.

_Concentrate!_She would have shouted it at him if she had the energy to do so. But all of her strength was currently being used to pull herself into a standing position. There was nothing to hold onto except her knees – stabbing the tip of the omega weapon into the ground, Lightning tried to push herself up, ignoring the deep line of pain down her lower back. Trying once again, unsuccessfully, to cast her own Cura, she heard her own whimper of pain and frustration escape her lips as she sank to her knees, both hands gripping the handle of the gunblade.

_Why am I so useless? Why couldn't I stop him from telling...and now she knows. And it wasn't even in the way I_would_have told her. Fuck...why..._

"_Snow!"_Serah's screech forced her to look up again. The thing had caught Snow in the chest as the big man had tried to cast a Blizzaga. She heard his grunt of effort as he hit the ground, but he didn't seem badly hurt. Lightning tried to get up again. She_ couldn't _let the thing hurt Serah...couldn't let the thing touch Hope.

A silver gleam caught her eye – the clone, or whatever it was supposed to be, was moving slowly towards her. And even at the cost of what could very well be her own life, she was glad, momentarily, for the chance that would give it for Serah and Hope to run.

* * *

><p>Serah watched as the figure advanced towards her injured sister. There hadn't been an opportunity to heal her, and no spell would reach her in time to heal the wound<em> and <em>for her to get up and get away. And Snow was lying several feet away – he was getting up, but he wouldn't make it in time either.

She had never felt so useless.

The anger over their argument last time had all but evaporated when she knew...when she saw the look in her sister's eyes._You wanted to protect me all along, didn't you?_And now there wouldn't be any time to even apologize. Serah found herself squeezing her eyes shut._Please Maker no...!_

If there ever was a time she wished miracles existed more, than this was it.

Anything to save her sister.

_"You called for a miracle?"_Suddenly, she wasn't standing in the middle of a grass courtyard, stained in blood and moonlight. She was somewhere else. Different, but safe. She felt something heavy drop into her hand.

_"Well?"_the voice asked her. "_You gotta make up your mind sometime, you know. Do you_want_to save her, or shall I just take my leave?"_

There was a pause._"You_ do_ want my power, correct?"_

Power. The one thing she needed above all. And she never needed it more than now. She held up her hand, opening the fingers of the fist that held whatever had formed in it.

It was a crystal. And not just any crystal –_her _crystal. The one that Snow had said kept him going. The pale blue teardrop sparkled innocently in front of her. Serah closed her eyes, willing for it to give her something..._anything._The surge of strength that flowed from it channeled like a lightning bolt to her brand.

_"Excellent choice, my dear Serah. Your wish for a miracle is my command."_

Serah couldn't hold back a shriek as a white blue summon circle appeared beneath her feet in the shape of the moon. Instinctively, she held up the teardrop shaped crystal, watching as it dissolved into the moonlight and darkness, leaving no trace that it had existed in her palm afterwards. She saw the weapon rise up in front of her sister, and a sudden lurch of fear gripped her._Did it...work?_

The sudden blinding flash of light was so strong she had to cover her eyes with one forearm as a sudden gust of wind blew her hair back.

_Please...save Claire!_

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><p><strong>So ha. *cackles wildly*<strong>

**Well, I'm pretty sure you guys all know what _that_ means. And that means there's a free for all guessing game as to what said summon was. Getting it right means a special shoutout for you!**

**And I do hope the Eidolon speech was believable – I don't think I've done any yet, and since Light, Snow and Hope already had their Eidolons I didn't think a conversation was necessary. I tried to make the Eidolon's speech pattern suiting for the summon I picked, hope that's some sort of a hint for you all.**

**Edit April 17th, 2012: Yay, this chapter has now been updated/changed/fixed! 8D Thanks again to Haruka and my Beta, Wings of Avalon!  
><strong>

**Yorun's new 'design' of a single wing was inspired by Genesis from Crisis Core, but I suppose you could say Sephiroth as well. Either way, _I_ think it's a nice touch, and the wing will for sure be a major motif later.**

**Rather busy with the move back to Japan - packing up, and such, so next chapter will be up on Saturday. Leave love as always in reviews, and I'll see you guys then!**

**Hearts!**


	35. The Strength Needed

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next installment of NR! :3**

**Big thank yous to my reviewers: OscarMerrinoz96, Zapper90, GCFarron (have fun with XIII/XIII-2!), Crystal, Mylaervain, and Whistlewind Wolf! And to Whistlewind, we're just over the halfway point right now as of the last chapter, so we have a ways to go yet! (:**

**I love all the guesses, but no to any of them. Wow, than I think her Eidolon is gonna be unexpected, but I really hope you guys think it suits her! (: And yes, I got the chapter up early! 8D**

**One more thing. A big thank you goes to _LadyAlaska_ (and if you guys haven't read her story, go read it ... NOW) for helping inspiring me to finish tonight with our awesome XIII/XIII-2 convos. 8D Enjoy as always!(:**

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><p><span>Chapter 35: The Strength Needed<span>

Lightning braced herself for the death blow that was sure to come. She closed her eyes, unsure of what to expect what death would feel like. Her brief crystal stasis? Or something much more finite, much more intangibly unembraceable? _Serah... I..._

But it didn't come. There was nothing except an ugly sound of metal on something solid and the brief washing of a Cure spell she knew that she would never be able to match in its potency. The pain wasn't just wiped - it cleared the cotton balls in her mind and the exhaustion in her limbs. _Who..._

No one had this powerful of a Cure spell, not her, not Hope... The only thing that had ever come close was her Eidolon... _And that's not possible._

The swirl of something small and jade green danced above her head as she rolled away from the spot the delayed scythe strike hit the ground, ripping apart blades of dark grass and sending wet clods of soil flying into the heavy, still night air. Looking up, she saw...

_What the hell?_

The spirit dancing in front of her wasn't any Eidolon she recognized... if it even was an Eidolon to begin with. It was so small it probably could have fit into her arms like a cat. But there wasn't any time to be worrying about it now - there was a _thing_ to be taken care of. Hope had dragged Serah a few paces away, casting a relieved yet concerned look in her direction.

"Relentless Assault!" Lightning felt the familiar strength building in her muscles. Snow was beside her instantly.

"You okay, Sis?"

She nodded, too busy trying to pinpoint the thing's movements to spare a glance at him. "Yeah... thanks to... that thing and whatever it's casting." She was still feeling the effects of the spell it was busy casting over their heads - it felt akin to Hope's Protect and Shell, but much more powerful. Was this how it felt like to be a fal'Cie? She felt she could literally reach into the sky and pluck the moon to flip over like a leaf.

They moved forwards in one fluid motion as she increased her movement to Blindside it. She heard it grunt as Snow hit it with one of his fists, and a Firaga crashed into the figure, barely missing her head. Lightning tried to control the anger she felt in herself, but it was difficult; difficult to not to scream every swear word she knew at...

_Concentrate. You're a trained soldier, not a green grunt right out of the academy. Anger will fuel your movements, but cloud your judgement. _

Her blade sank into the figure's weapon arm, and she ripped upwards, finding only satisfaction at the smear of red that stained her gunblade. _This... is what you get for ruining my life... for telling Serah..._

She still had no idea how her sister had reacted to the revelation of the prophecy. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know. Had it been worth... She didn't know. But there was no going back now. There was nothing she could do to erase the words from her sister's memory. Letting her instinct and anger control her movements, she tried to let her body do the work.

_Serah... I'm sorry... __I wanted to protect you from it. I wanted to... I didn't want to see you go through what I did when I found out._

Her weapon instinctively found the neck of the figure as she launched the thing up into the air, aided by Hope's Aeroga. She saw Snow across from her, his face lit by a determined fury as he pummeled away at the figure, pushing it down against the haze of spells that kept it up.

As it melted into the black smoke that was barely distinguishable from the surrounding darkness, the scythe soundlessly hitting the grass below them, Lightning landed on her feet, her body bending her knees to absorb the impact automatically. Arms wrapped around her back, and she found herself looking into the tear streaked face of her sister.

"Claire... I'm sorry..." The apology was barely audible. "I'm sorry... I didn't know..."

The words woke a familiar pain that was branded inside her like a scar. She'd promised that Serah would have a happy life, promised that Serah would have the life she knew was impossible for her. Her own weakness had let that scar become a raging, infected wound again. Trying to convince herself otherwise was useless.

She felt a hand reach her mouth as she tried to hold back her own pain. "Serah... I know I didn't tell you. I... I didn't want to see you like this."

"Claire, I'm not... I'm not scared about what the prophecy means! I'm scared about _you._ I don't want to..."

Sudden hands forced them apart, and Lightning, slightly annoyed, found herself looking into the unusually stern gaze of Snow.

"What... was that for?" she snarled. Part of her was glad... glad that she didn't have to hide anything anymore. Glad that in some way, Snow had stopped her... _them_ before things got to the point where she would utterly snap again. The other, more vulnerable part of her wanted to break away from Snow's grip, and reach over to comfort Serah, to erase the look her sister had on her face.

The big man shot her an uncharacteristic glare. "Why don't we have a chat? Hope. Come here and hold onto Light while I get Serah to sit down."

Hope's small hands replaced Snow. Looking over in his green eyes, she saw the deep rooted relief. And for some reason, it didn't bother her as much as it should have - she felt the familiar creepings of embarrassment begin somewhere down at the base of her throat.

"It's going to be okay now... right, Light?" She nodded, not trusting herself to speak, not trusting her own emotions. She was afraid she was going to snap again.

A crack of knuckles behind her interrupted them - Snow was looking expectantly at them, before opening his mouth to speak.

"Alright. A few things I want to get straight with the two of you before we go any further. Sis, why don't we start with you?" She shot him a glare, hoping it was potent enough to discourage whatever comments he had in mind for her. It wasn't enough - he just grinned stupidly back.

"Down to business. Sis - don't even begin with your whole martyr attitude. I know you care, and that's great. But we care too. And where would we be if something happened to you?" He raised his eyebrows at her. "And. Next time, you have to tell us this sorta crap. I don't give whatever the prophecy means - you're thinking way too hard and taking it way too seriously for your own mental health. But don't go around hiding that stuff and bottling it up, see what happens?"

There was a silence as she processed his words, and it was awhile before she spoke. "Wow... Snow. I didn't know you had the higher brain functions to string that all together," she remarked shrewdly. Taking a breath, she tried to brand his comments into her brain before continuing, trying to force herself into a state of calmness, glad when she felt her heart rate slow down a little. "Thanks."

Her own words of appreciation was quiet, but she saw the familiar smile crack his face as he gave her a thumbs up. The blond oaf then turned to the smaller pinkette he held in his arms.

"And you," he started playfully. "Don't doubt Sis next time, okay?" His tone took on a more serious overlay as he continued. "I know the 'prophecy' sounds scary. But we'll fight it. There's nothing we can't take... and your hero is right here."

She saw a small smile stretch Serah's lips. "I know." Her sister's blue eyes fixed on her. "Sorry... Claire."

Lightning had just about to open her mouth to say it was okay when Snow clamped his big hand over her sister's mouth.

"Ah. None of that. No more self pity, no more apologies. We're in this together."

She had to suppress her own smile at that, as Hope's arm found hers, pulling her around. "See?" he asked her quietly. "I told you... everything would be okay."

She found her hand meeting his as their fingers locked, gently. "I know... thanks, kid."

And as much as she hated her weaker side for it, she felt her heart lift a little, as a small sense of wonder entered her consciousness.

_Did they... just cheer me up?_

She found that the thought didn't insult her as much as she thought it would.

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><p>Serah toyed with the small teardrop shaped crystal in her hands as she watched her sister and Hope discreetly.<p>

"Hey baby... nice summon there, by the way." Snow's breath was close to her ear as she giggled softly, seeing Lightning and Hope break apart before they came over, an interested look on the silver haired teenager's face.

"That's right, we haven't complimented you for your Eidolon yet." His voice was appreciative. "It came at the right time."

Serah found herself looking at the jewel in her hands. "Was it... really one? Did I really summon... an Eidolon?"

Her sister let out a snort. "I'm alive to prove it, aren't I?"

Serah shuffled her feet shyly as she looked down, Snow's arms putting a warm, comfortable weight on her shoulders. She held the warm crystal close.

"Carbuncle. That was its name," she murmured quietly. "It said... I wouldn't be able to attack with her help. But I could protect what meant most to me."

"And that's exactly what you did, baby. Too bad you didn't have it stick around after it was done casting its spells - I wanted to see what it turned into." Snow's voice held the faint tone of a whine, as she giggled, looking at the exasperated look on her sister's face.

"Grow up, Snow," she snapped. "Come on, we're wasting time and it's not like those creeps are lost in this place." Her tone became serious, and Serah watched her blue eyes harden. "We're not letting them add another crystal to their collection."

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><p>The moonlit castle was silent except for their footsteps, as Serah tagged after Snow. Now that they were actually <em>away<em> from the courtyard, she could actually think. Think about the words that had obviously been plaguing her sister for awhile.

What was it that it meant? '_Something dear._' It could have meant anything, really, but Serah knew what her sister would value most. She could see why Claire had been so...

_So uptight about it. She thought it was us... wasn't it? And maybe I would too, if I was in her position. But it's hard... hard to see things like that. She's here. Snow's here. They changed their fates...didn't they? Who says Xue is right? She has Hope to keep her alive too..._

She didn't know anymore - maybe it was naive of her to think this way, but it was hard to feel despairing and suppressed by a few words of a vague meaning. As childish as it sounded, she didn't feel like that could be her.

_Changing fates isn't impossible. It's not._

And maybe... being crushed by the simple words was what her sister had been scared of. And maybe that was what was really childish about herself - maybe it was she couldn't comprehend the heaviness of the words. But if she was honest... she didn't believe it. And if it was for Claire's sake as well as her own, then she would cling to that belief.

_Claire..._

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><p>Shadows alternated with light as the windows cast barred patterns on the cold stone wall of the castle. Hope was starting to feel a little uneasy; after the teeming monsters outside the castle and on the lower floors, the absence of monsters was starting to unnerve him. Lightning's short breathing was slightly in front of him - he could see her cape in the dim lighting - and he heard the combined breathing of Serah and Snow several steps behind him as they settled into their usual travel formation.<p>

Something caught his eye outside the small window - he hadn't seen it carefully; it had only been a black smear across the moonlit sky and it had only flashed in his peripheral vision for a moment. But it had been _something_ and he felt himself pause.

Snow bumped into him from behind. "What, kid?"

Hope didn't want to tell him he'd been spooked by something he'd only half seen. "Erm, thought I saw something. It's nothing, Snow, it's not there anymore."

Maker, he could feel his heartbeat throbbing in his throat. _I feel like a coward._ But the sight had... _Urgh._ Hope shoved it out of his mind - he was psyching himself out and Light would strangle him if she had heard. He forced himself to climb again, his feet shuffling a little on the stone steps, chipping away several broken slates. _Oops. _The stone chips made a clattering noise as they bounced down the steps.

The next landing greeted them with a cool blue lit, and Hope shivered a little at the grotesque statues that lined the hallway. The demonic faces weren't helping his nerves and he winced when he saw the stone weapons held in each of their hands, their faces eerily lifelike. Lightning had stopped short just ahead of him, her gunblade drawn.

Hope cleared his throat a little, and he saw her glance back. "This place a little unnerving for you too?" she asked quietly. Her eyes looked calm though, and once again, Hope thanked the Maker they'd been able to get her over that particular mental hurdle.

"Yeah," he replied. His throat was a little dry, and his words came out a little cracked. He gulped, hoping to swallow the nervousness.

"Whoa," he heard Snow mutter behind him. "What the hell is with these things?"

"Quiet!" Lightning's hiss sounded impatient. "Stop complaining and let's get moving."

Hope followed her as they made their way down the hall. There was _definitely_ a creepy aura about the place - he couldn't place his finger on it, but he felt like they were being watched. And not watched like... like how Yorun would watch them. It was like this castle was alive, just like the cathedral at Tythell. Like they were the intruders after millenia of the fal'Cie god's departure.

He felt an involuntary shiver go through his body; the place was creeping him out, but he refrained from mentioning the fact. Hope tried not to look at the faces of the devilish statues lining the side of the hallway, the moonlight giving them a demonically twisted lifelife lighting. _Those are... just creepy to the point that they resemble bedtime story monsters._ And in the semi darkness of the place, it appeared like the statues were almost _breathing_. The shifting bands of moonlight didn't make Hope feel any safer, and he found himself catching up to Lightning, wanting her reassurance.

She let out a huff when she noticed he had caught up to her shoulder, but then she sighed, almost inaudibly, like she was giving in to some invisible pull. Hope didn't dare make any sort of physical contact with her, as much as he wanted her comfort - she looked tense and he didn't want to make her worse.

"Light?" He ventured a question, and she gave a short hum to let him know she'd heard. She didn't take her blue eyes off the path though. Hope took a small breath, breathing through his mouth. "D'you think we're close?"

She stopped for a moment, giving him a long look, before she walked forwards again. "I don't know. There's no sign that we're _closer_, but I would assume the place where we want to be is at the top...somewhere." Her voice hardened. "And he's got an advantage if he can fly. Here's to hoping that some sort of monster eats him before he gets there."

He heard Snow snicker behind him, and Hope felt a thin smile spread his own lips. "Looks like someone's about to get the brunt of Sis's anger," Snow remarked.

"You bet," she snarled under her breath. "That bastard will never know what hit him."

"Won't I?" The chilling voice suddenly sounded very close to Hope's right ear, and he veered into Lightning, hearing her curse under her breath as he bumped into her shoulder. The cold golden eyes were only a few feet away from him - he moved forward about an inch when he realized he was awkwardly pressed against Lightning. A flush of heat crept up his throat when he realized he could feel her rapid heartbeat.

"You-" Snow didn't have time to finish before the soundwave swept over them, knocking Hope off his feet and sending both him and Lightning crashing into the wall. He heard her curse out loud this time as they were flattened by the attack. Hope raised a hand to his mouth, breathing hard, as he clambered to his feet.

"You see? The utter difference between your power and mine? None of you could ever hope to beat me in a duel." A spear materialized in the man's hand as the single black wing spread ragged dark feathers over the moonwashed stone floor. The spear left his hand as quickly as it had appeared as he threw it in their direction; the flash of steel caught the cold moonlight as it sliced the dank air. Hope felt Lightning's steel grip tighten on his left arm as she pulled him hastily out of the way and she raised her weapon to counterattack.

The echo of the bullets in the silent castle crashed into his eardrums as he pulled Nue out, ready to back her up if she needed it. Hope felt his heartbeat thudding rapidly in his throat. _He's... strong._ And suddenly, he wasn't sure if they could win. There was a cold huff as the man swerved to avoid the projectiles with one swish of his cloak.

"Your power will never compare to mine, you see. Mortal weapons cannot harm me." With that, he retrieved his spear that had buried itself into the stone wall behind them with one movement of his hand. Before any of them could move into range to counterattack, the man slammed the spear into the ground, cracking the stone beneath their feet.

Hope had one glance at the red cloth of Lightning's cape and the Serah's silver touched pink hair before the ground split beneath them and he was plummeted into the unending darkness, flailing his arms, trying to catch anything that would break his fall, but finding nothing.

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><p><strong>I think I'm really into cliffhangers... but I did get this chapter up early, does that count? *puppy dog eyes*<strong>

**So anyways, yes, Serah's Eidolon was Carbuncle... if anyone missed that. If I'm honest, Serah does NOT seem like an attacking character, and Carbuncle was perfect for the situation at hand - this scene was planned out a LONG time ago and I knew it was going to happen like that. n_n You didn't see Gestalt Mode because... I never planned a Gestalt Mode for Carbuncle. (currently wracking my tiny little brain in hopes of coming up with a good one) Because let's face it. Cat thing with ruby on its forehead, what's it gonna become? A flying carpet? A kite? I really don't know. xD**

**Anyways, leave love as always, and I'll see you guys next time! I promise at least one chapter this weekend.**

**Hearts!**


	36. Born Anew

**Hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3**

**I start off as usual by thanking my awesome reviewers: madapocket, Crystal, Mylaervain, OscarMerrinoz96, Whistlewind Wolf (D: I typed your name wrong last time! My apologies; it should be fixed now), Zapper90, and sorahikaru (and yes, you are completely right - those were the only appearances in XIII that Carbuncle had and I, for one, wanted to see more). And of course, hearts go to my muse, LadyAlaska, you know it! 8D**

**Anyways, I'm glad all of you thought the Eidolon was cute! I thought it suited Serah, and hmmm... some of your Gestalt Mode ideas are very interesting - I'll see if I can work it in somehow! 8D Anyways, enjoy as always! (:  
><strong>

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><p><span>Chapter 36: Born Anew<span>

Rubbing the back of her head, Lightning slowly pulled herself up from the cold stone floor, fingers searching in her pink hair for any sign of blood. Finding none, she got up to lean against the icy wall, pressing one hand to her neck. Looking up, she saw the dim spot of blue light from where they'd fallen. Apart from that, she couldn't see anything else, apart from the black walls that pressed in all around her. Remembering what had lead to their current predicament, Lightning felt a spark of anger and frustration beginning to build in her chest.

_Great. That fucking... _She took a breath, forcing herself to stop - no one else needed to hear her snap. Snow was wrapped around Serah like a protective blanket, and Hope was just beginning to clamber up - she could see his black silhouette against the darkness, accented by the silver highlights that the faint light touched to his hair. His hesitant hand found hers; fighting the instinct to wrench herself out of his grip, she tried to see things from his perspective.

He was just a kid, and no matter how mature he acted, she had to remember he was still... just a teenager barely out of his childhood. Sure, he was only a year younger than she had been when she lost _her_ parents, but fourteen was still only four more than ten. Trying to control her own slight trembling at the touch, Lightning let her fingers close around his.

The warmth was somewhat comforting.

_Why is it... that I don't feel... What is it about him that makes me less inhibited when it comes to physical contact?_ It had started with the hug in Palumpolum. She'd done it out of pure relief and utter impulse; relief that 'Operation Nora' hadn't come to fruition, and the overwhelming rush of emotions to the tandem that he was okay. Because to her, he didn't... he hadn't been the 'whiny kid' she needed to babysit, but someone who was both fragile and strong at the same time, who needed to be protected. The embrace she'd offered was an amalgamation of her own feelings: her regret, her guilt, her relief.

Lightning let herself enjoy the brief moment of silence - she could feel his slight heartbeat through the contact of their fingers and she concentrated on that, using it as a metronome to calm her erratic breathing. The warmth of their fingertips locked together felt like something she could rely on.

"Light?" His voice was quiet. "You're okay... right?"

She snorted softly. "Do I not look okay to you?" But for some reason, the sheer sincerity of his question wormed its way into her, like acid eating away stubborn rust. And once again, the fact that his concern didn't bother her as much as it should have made her feel slightly uneasy. But this time, she found that she was embarrassed to even look into his sea green eyes.

_Why... is that one question bothering me so much? I should be cuffing him over the head for even showing me this much concern, for holding my hand. But... I can't. I can't bring myself to do it. I don't even know why... _

Why she was feeling this way. Why it felt _okay_ for him to care about her. Shaking her head, Lightning tried to concentrate on his next words, spoken with a small smile.

"That's good. Why don't we, erm, wake up Snow?" Hope wiggled the fingers of his free hand playfully as he gently pulled her over. His hand left hers as he raised it to cast the Cura. The moment their small contact was broken, she felt like she was missing something; like warmth had been replaced with icy cold. She could still feel the phantom linger of their joined hands.

_Urgh. I must _really_ be going soft. I blame Snow. And Serah. And him. _

Her own cure spell cast a soft mint green light in the darkness, blooming like a luminescent flower in a shadowed cave. In the wake of its light, she was able to see the chains that hung from the walls, and the grotesque figures of the demonic statues. Lightning felt an involuntary shiver go through her body - she had a nasty suspicion as to where they ended up and it was probably the worst place for them to be.

Snow got to his feet, grumbling about his back. A flash of irritation shot through her instantly - they were stuck in the dungeon of the freaking castle and Snow had time to complain about himself.

"Snow, how old are you?" she snarled into the darkness, glad he couldn't see her expression. "Fifty? Be quiet and let's get moving before I make you."

He only laughed, rather ostentatiously, into the black space behind her, unfettered as ever by her sharp words. "Awh, Sis, gimme a break. Maker knows we fell... how far? Anyways-"

She cut him off. "Anyways, we need to get moving before he gets the damn crystal before we do."

It was easier said than done. She could barely see anyone, let alone where they were going. The only way she could tell that there was _anyone_ beside her was the calm breathing of Hope, a foot or two away from her, and the small scuffling that was Serah and Snow. The dim blue light so far above their heads provided no lighting in their wake.

Cringing a little at the thought of what she was doing, Lightning felt her way around until her fingers met the ridge of the cracks between the stone blocks used to build the place. Slime and other semi liquids met her fingers, and she wondered if she should have been feeling glad that she couldn't see what she was touching. Using the wall as a guide, she slowly, carefully, made her way down what she could only assume was a hallway, feeling her own racing heartbeat competing with the calmer breathing of Hope behind her.

Her foot kicked a chain more than once, the clattering in the eerie silence making the quiet more pronounced. _I'm a soldier... and _I'm_ kind of __creeped out by all this. Obviously this is some sort of dungeon, but... where are we? No doubt miles from the top of the castle. That bastard..._

Just thinking about him made her angry, and Lightning forcefully shoved the thoughts away from her. The time would come for her to bury her sword in his neck - she could think of that a different time. Right now, she needed to know where they were and how the hell they were going to get out.

Dim, silver blue lighting began to illuminate odd parts of the surroundings in front of her - she felt her fingers leave the icy stone walls as she began to make out different aspects of the place. They were _definitely_ in some sort of dungeon; the light filtered through barred columns of stone, and she could see hooks and other bits of metal links impaled into the centuries old rock.

_Why would a fal'Cie god make his place... like this? Or did other people live here afterwards, using his castle as a guide?_ She felt her heartbeat almost stop when the ceiling opened up a little, as more moonlight poked through the holes in the walls. In front of her was a chain, but not just any chain, ironically lying almost innocently in front of her. One link had to be as big as her entire body, and Lightning could see it was many links long, coiled up, eventually disappearing into a crevice into the wall.

"Whoa... what the hell was _that_ used to chain?" Snow's hissed whisper came a few feet behind her, and she heard Serah gasp. She had been thinking the exact same thing, rational or not, the thought was the only thing she could think about at the moment.

_What could possibly be big enough to merit that large of a chain? I don't think I could lift even _one _link on that thing._ She bent down beside it to take a close look, despite her own inhibitions. The moment she drew near to it though, she knew it had been a bad choice. She had no idea why or how she knew, but the chain had been used for some purpose, some purpose she didn't want to even think about.

_It's like... it's pushing me away. From what... I don't know. But as much as I hate fairytales, the thing just about screams 'evil' at me and something... urgh, something tells me not to touch it. _

She didn't realize she was breathing too fast until Hope rested a gentle touch on her shoulder. "You sure you're okay?" This time, her eyes met his. She tried to look disdainful, she really did, but it didn't come off that way to him. She knew it by the sudden flash of concern in the familiar emerald eyes. "Light?"

She had to take a breath before replying, averting her gaze before his could rip her apart even more. "It's nothing."

"Claire?" Serah's timid voice provided her with the perfect excuse to get away from the chain... and Hope's prying, concerned gaze. _I don't want..._ Her footsteps echoed on the stone a little too loudly; Lightning cursed herself when she realized it was because she was walking too fast - it made her look desperate in a bad way. _Shit._

Her sister was standing with Snow, both of them observing something she couldn't see on the wall. What they were looking at, she didn't know, and frankly, she wasn't terribly interested, but... _Between that chain and Hope, they've got me looking weaker than I'd like to appear to be._ Serah turned the moment she paused behind the couple, pulling her forwards.

"Read that," she murmured quietly, indicating silver words hewn on the old, worn stone.

_Lindzei, the Creator of Cocoon. Created by Bhunivelze, tasked with the protection of the world and Bhunivelze's existence, his spirit departed the mortal world into the Unseen World from here: Lahrima Castle. It stands as the legacy to the world's balance, the contrast between chaos and harmony._

Lightning snorted after finishing the short lines of text. "More mythology crap," she muttered under her breath. "Not interested."

"Awh, come on Sis, you could show a little more appreciation towards my find." Snow sounded offput, and she could imagine the pout on his face. Turning away, and pulling Hope, who had silently read the words over her shoulder, along with her, she refused to give the stone words another glance.

"No."

_Unlike Hope, the stupid moron finds other ways to get on my nerves. And unlike Hope, I don't feel any reservations to slapping him._

* * *

><p>Hope tagged after Lightning, blinking as the constantly shifting lighting in the hallway played with his vision. He was constantly having to rub his eyes to adjust to the stark contrast between the moon's light and the choking darkness of the places that weren't lit. He could feel his heartbeat thumping against his chest, but he didn't dare approach her.<p>

The accidental concern in his voice had slipped through when he saw her freeze next to the giant chain, and Hope hated himself for letting the tone take over his words. He'd been surprised that she didn't reprimand him, but then again, the duality of the anger and guilt in her eyes had told him the real story. The few moments they'd held hands earlier had been a welcome intrusion into their otherwise frosty relationship - for the briefest couple of seconds that lasted both the blink of an eye and eternity she actually looked like a young woman, and not the battle hardened soldier he knew she was.

And with those thoughts, Hope felt the familiar flush of heat on his neck and the bottom of his cheeks. _Why... Why do I feel this way around her? _It wasn't that he was embarrassed to talk to her, to offer his suggestions, but it seemed the more they spoke, the more awkward it got. And that didn't even make sense - it was infinitely easier to talk to her now than it had been when he first met her, even taking out the fact that he had been paralyzed with fear every time she glared at him then.

So he'd had to admit to himself - he really didn't know how he felt about her. Yes, she was someone to look up to, someone to aspire to, but apart from that, apart from the awe she still inspired in him, what was there? He didn't know. The awkwardness of their shared moments was becoming so blatant he'd seen it in _her_ eyes as well.

The only solace he could find was that she didn't seem to know their relationship any better than he did.

_What... are we?_

But Hope didn't have the time to dwell on the thought when he abruptly bumped into her back, her gunblade case poking into his stomach. "Watch it," he heard her hiss.

"Why'd we stop, Sis?" Snow's voice was as boisterous as ever behind him, and Hope was suddenly glad for the looming darkness - it would be hard to anyone to make out his expression at the moment and that was good.

"If you had eyes for the path ahead instead of only at Serah then maybe you'd have seen already," she replied dryly. Peeking around her right arm, Hope held back a gasp of disgust at the sight in front of him.

Coffins. Three of them, to be exactly. A pool of moonlight shone down directly onto their tops, and Hope could make out words written on their covers, but he couldn't see them from here. The sharp intake of breath just behind his shoulder told him someone behind him, probably Serah, had had the exact same reaction.

He watched Lightning slowly move forwards, her footsteps now silent - she was making an effort not to make a sound. He waited a few moments before walking forward himself, closely followed by Serah and Snow. While she had passed the stone tablet, Hope found that he couldn't tear his eyes off the small stone slab in front of him, eerily reminiscent of all the stone tablets they'd found at Tythell.

He heard Serah begin to read quietly beside his left shoulder.

"_The chosen three. The three fal'Cie that were created by Bhunivelze, all of them left our world one way or another. Lindzei, through ascension. Pulse, through abscondence. __Etro, through death. The three crypts you see before you symbolize their disappearance, and our everlasting appreciation of their grace."_

Hope shivered. The words sounded foreign to him even though he knew what they meant; they opened an unseen world before him, a tale of lost strength and greed that he didn't want to think about. How much power the fal'Cie gods must have had, he didn't want to know. But if they could create Cocoon and Pulse, and the other fal'Cie in their stead, then... _I should stop before I start... _Though it was hard, especially when he knew that some power crazy maniac after them wanted to bring all three of the fal'Cie back.

He heard Snow give a depreciative huff behind him. "More of that stuff. 'Appreciation of their grace' my ass. That worship stuff is enough to make me puke."

_Well, it would... for someone who's supposedly been defying authority his entire life._

Hope didn't voice his thoughts though - he wasn't Lightning and he was quite sure Snow wouldn't take kindly to a 'kid' saying things like that about him to his face. But before he could speculate with Serah as to the meaning of the words - again, he was quite sure Snow didn't even know what the word 'abscondence' meant, so the meaning of the passage would be completely lost to him - a blinding glow came from the coffins ahead, effectively lighting the entire place brighter than if they had lit several torches.

He heard Snow curse somewhere above his shoulder.

* * *

><p>Snow held up a thick forearm to protect his eyes from the glare of light that was suddenly emanating from the ground below the coffins, splitting up through the cracks on the stone tiled floor like sunlight peeking through clouds, except it was the other way around. Lightning was quickly backing away from the three crypts, gunblade drawn, and Snow was fairly certain of what she'd done while they'd all been absorbed by the writing on the stone plaques.<p>

_This is the Pulse Vestige all over again. Sis just can't keep herself from attacking whatever pisses her off, can she?_

He heard Serah whimper in front of him - squashing her face into his chest, he held his coat over her slender body as he turned, shielding his wife from the glow. Hope had also turned, his teal scarf lit to an almost lime green in the light.

"Sis! What the hell did you do?" he yelled into the light, not opening his eyes in the onslaught of bright light. Snow felt the collar of his coat beginning to flap in the sudden breeze. _Now what?_

"What it told me to do!" he heard her yell back. _What the fuck she's talking about, I don't even..._

And as abruptly as the light had come, it disappeared, plunging them all back into the still darkness. He felt Serah worm her way out of his cloak, her quick footsteps moving to her sister.

"Claire..." He could see her now, now that the aftereffects of the bright light was gone and his eyes had readjusted to the darkness. Her blue eyes were blazing with defiance as she glared in his direction, while simultaneously trying to brush Serah off of her. One of the coffin covers was open behind her. _You didn't..._

"I'm okay, Serah." He heard her quiet, reassuring tones as she tried to assuage her sister's concerns. "Stop worrying." Exchanging a glance with Hope, Snow picked his way over to her, putting on what he hoped was a stern expression on his face. She glared right back, seeing the disdainful expression on his face.

"Skip the idiot lecture, Snow," she snapped. "The coffin said to open it if we wanted to see Lindzei's manifestation of power, so that's what I did." Snow was just about to say something snappish back when a rumbling interrupted all thoughts of an argument. Backing away slowly, Snow dragged Lightning back by the cape as something formed in front of them, hovering ominously in the puddle of moonlight that stained the black floor.

It was an angel. At least, that was what it appeared to be, not that he had ever heard bedtime stories of the sort. _That's what NORA is all about. None of that coddled upbringing. _But the _thing_ in front of him definitely had a pair of silver wings on its back... and elsewhere. A pair of peach wings adorned her chest and another pair formed what he thought looked like a feathery dress around her waist. The form was vaguely female, confirmed when he saw a long sheet of pale blond hair unfurl down her back and crystal grey eyes open to face them.

_You desire my master's power?_

But her mouth hadn't opened, and no one else had spoken. The voice held the tinkle of bells and an ugly rough grate in the same breath as the creature eyed them contemptuously. Snow saw Hope pull out his boomerang, and the gunblade being raised to attack position.

_Mere mortals cannot hope to embody Lindzei's divine will. But if this is what must be, then you must defeat me!_

Snow shoved Serah behind him at the pause of the last word in the sentence as the creature swooped down on them, scattering pale feathers that littered the dark floor, pristine shafts looking too pure for the dirtied, worn stone. A glimmering golden scepter appeared in her hand as she raised it.

The spell hit Snow like a meteor impact, and he saw Lightning drop to her knees in front of him; a grunt of effort escaping her lips. Her command was dragged out in the same breath as she struggled to rise; Snow understood her sentiment - he felt like tons of bricks were being weighted down on his shoulders as the cold floor leeched strength from him like ice pulling water into its wintery grasp.

"Hero's Charge!" Snow felt the smile crack his lips, despite their current predicament. The command could not have been more symbolic of his own title. He could imagine the look on Lightning's face if he could voice his thoughts aloud and she had the chance to respond. The thought pushed him forwards as her Esuna wiped all feelings of weight and feebleness from his body, and strength flowed back into his limbs at the embrace of the Bravery.

He sank his fists into the leg of the creature, but that hardly made it flinch. It simply showered him with a faceful of feathers before flapping out of his reach. Snow sent a Ruin in its wake - the pearl of light struck it evenly in the chest but all that did was land them more feathers as more peach coloured shafts broke off from the impact of the spell.

He cast a glance behind him. Lightning was on her feet now, gunblade drawn as she and Hope furiously exchanged spells - she was keeping an eye out on the creature floating above them as she waved her left hand, drawing power from her brand. Snow balled his fists again; the thing was watching them almost disdainfully, as if it was enjoying their futile efforts to win. _Time to show you what a hero can do._

"Sis!" he yelled in her direction, as he sent up more Ruin spells, running to avoid the shower of spells aimed at him from the scepter.

"Right. Relentless Assault!" Snow continued his barrage of Ruin spells, trying to force the angel like creature to the ground so he could hit it with his fists. Lightning wasn't having much more success than he was - she was trying to do the exact same thing with her Thundagas, and he could almost taste her frustration that she couldn't hit it with an Aquastrike. But the barrage of spells was at least having an effect - the creature was putting much more effort into trying to dodge the storm of magic then slam them with more debuffs - the spells it did manage to cast were poorly aimed and easily dodged.

An Aeroga crashed onto the ground, whipping up a gale of stone chips and feathers alike, and Snow saw the sudden glint in Lightning's eyes. _Uh oh. That usually means..._ She kicked against the ground, using Hope's Aeroga as a boost until she was face to face with the creature.

_"I decide my own fate!_" The flurry of gunblade attacks sent the creature into disarray as an unearthly scream filled the air. The last kick aimed at the thing slammed it into the stone as Lightning landed, and Snow leapt forward at the chance. The feathers on the ground were stained and splotched with a strange silver fluid - he suspected it was blood, of a sort, but Snow didn't waste any time feeling pity for it. Years of NORA monster hunting had taught him how quickly a wounded monster could turn against an assailant in a moment of weakness.

He drove the creature into the ground with his gloved fists, not giving it a chance to recover. Lightning's attack had effectively sliced off more than one wing and it was struggling to beat the remaining one on its back in an attempt to regain flight.

Suddenly, he was pushed back by an invisible force - landing hard on the ground, Snow rolled over in an instant and was back on his feet to retaliate.

_I... yield. Perhaps fal'Cie servants who are no longer chained to a master are beings to be reckoned with. _The glow of light wasn't blinding now, but warm, as the creature slowly rose from the crater they'd made on the floor. It was dissolving.

_You may pass... But be wary - your next trial awaits you in the Sealed Tower._

The flash of light disappeared for a moment, before it relocated itself on the floor, slowly spreading into a circle emblazoned with a feather. Snow closed his eyes against the overwhelming burst of light.

* * *

><p>A light breeze lifted the ends of her hair as Lightning opened her eyes again. They weren't in the dungeon of the castle anymore, but at the bottom of a flight of steps that lead into the moonlight filtering in through blue glass windows. Black roses twisted through the cracked stone columns - the place had the look of a dilapidated greenhouse left to the course of nature.<p>

"Is everyone okay?" she rasped, her voice hoarse as she turned around.

Serah nodded as she clung to Snow - the big man gave her a thumbs up. Hope's silver hair glinted in the moonlight that was nearly the same colour, as he gave her a shy little smile. She felt the familiar confusion and mess of emotions tug at her heartstrings at the sight of the expression.

Turning around away from him was always a good solution - it was easier to suppress those feelings when she wasn't looking. Instead, Lightning focused her attention on her surroundings, taking in the blue-grey lighting, the withered black rose petals scattered by her left foot, and the tangle of barbed thorns that choked the stone stairway.

"Right."

* * *

><p><strong>Ha, I love that "Right" of hers; I think I mentioned about that Ali Hillis interview and how awesome it was in a previous chapter. (Which just goes to show how long this freaking fic is already - I can't even remember what chapter that was). Erm, yeah, I think this chapter was pretty self explanatory - I was going to include more mythology but my brain hurt (no joke) from the Lightning and Hope moments earlier in the chapter and I was too lazy to think of good new representations in writing of<strong> _**Fabula Nova Crystallis.**_** *massages throbbing temples***

**Anyways, leave love in reviews as usual, and I'll see you guys next time!  
><span>Edit April 15th, 2012: <span> Because I was working on the LightxHope oneshot request, Chapter 37 will have to be delayed until tomorrow, Monday April 16th. The LightxHope oneshot some of you requested is now up, though! 8D Please visit my profile for the link to the corresponding story, and I have PM'ed those I can to let them know that their request has been filled.  
><strong>

**Hearts!**


	37. Beauty Out of Pain

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! (:**

**Once again, hearts go to my reviewers: OscarMerrinoz96 (hopefully you had fun? 8D), Crystal, Zapper90, and of course, to my everlasting inspiration, LadyAlaska. And thanks go out to all of those who enjoyed my first oneshot request, _Concrete Angel_ (LadyAlaska, Mylaervain, and Crystal); you guys make me want to write more, and I'll be getting onto the second prompt, the SerahxLight sistery stuff one, soon! (: Thank you guys again for all of your support.**

**At any rate, yeah, this chapter is a bit late because I was working on the oneshot... I was going to work on it last night, but I couldn't even get that storyline out of my head, especially since this chapter opens with Light. I couldn't disassociate myself from that particular plot enough to write effectively on this one. I tried going to game to get my mind off of it, but the moment I loaded my XIII save file (on a friend's PS3 that I've borrowed, since my own is somewhere in a box) I knew it wasn't going to work out - that was just going to rub the characters more in my face. So I made Seymour my beatstick as I proceeded to beat him up with my party in FFX.**

**Anyways, I'll shut up now, and enjoy the chapter as always! :3**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 37: Beauty Out of Pain<span>

The stone steps were unforgiving as Lightning slowly made her way up them, using the barbed thorns as a guide, even though they hampered her movement. The brambles were thick enough though, that she didn't have to worry about her spearing her hand on a thorn. _This place is one overgrown greenhouse that looks like monsters were the gardeners._

Using her omega weapon to slice through the remaining brambles in their way, she cursed when a thorn sliced her face. The instant cure spell did away with the small cut the plant had left on her cheek. _This place..._ She readied her left hand - the next plant that got in her way was going to get burned by a Fira whether it was going to cut her or not.

And the ominous silence was getting on her nerves. _I find it doubtful that that creep didn't get here before us... so where are his taunts when I'm looking for them?_ Her gunblade gleamed in the darkness, catching the light of the moon. Pressing her shoulder against the large, glass door at the end of the long stairway, she tried to see through it as she waited for everyone else to catch up.

The dark blue door didn't budge - it was translucent and she couldn't see much through it. Whatever was beyond it though, she could tell it was bathed in moonlight.

"Sis, you ready?" Snow's voice was at her shoulder. Ignoring him, she put more strength into the push that slowly creaked the door open. Large hands joined her as the blond oaf pressed against the glass.

What lay beyond them was some sort of tangled web of gears that clicked to some unknown rhythm, each spoke highlighted in silver as they meshed together in a random symphony of metallic sounds. Picking her way through it, the only thing that seemed organic in any sense of the word was the breeze that played with her hair and the crescent claw of the waxing moon.

She heard Snow curse as he touched a spoke.

"Ow..." _Serves him right._ Making a mental note to watch her cape in case it caught on something, Lightning made her way carefully around the maze of gears and metal twisted into undefinable shapes. When she reached what seemed to be a break in the monotonous mechanical opera, there was only one thing on the ground: a silver lithograph.

_Great. More Maker mumbo jumbo. _

Tapping her foot impatiently, she watched Serah and Hope approach it, Snow not far behind. She crossed her arms, fingering the blade of her weapon - she'd hear about it in five, four, three...

"Light! You have to come and see this!" _I was right, wasn't I?_

Bending down, flicking her cape behind her, she inspected the small plate set, curiously, several feet away from them in the middle of an open space that dropped down into darkness.

_Lindzei, creator of Paradise, ascended this world here, at the peak of the Sealed Tower. His will lies beyond this maze, lost in the ticking of time spread across infinite universes. Should you desire his power, you must pass this trial._

_Show your guardian spirits, oh mighty warriors, and may the Maker bless you with the will of Lindzei._

She hadn't even said a word before the sphere of ice cracked behind her, whipping icy cold gusts of wind around her. The lithe twirl of the Shiva Sisters above her head turned the world into an ice sheathed maze of mechanics, gears frozen in place as the clicking faded away to the sound of just the wind. The sisters vanished into a puff of snow, as Lightning moved back a few steps - for a moment, the place was bathed in a soft peach light.

_What's..._

Before she could voice the question out loud, the gears began to groan again, starting in unison as the clicking filled the air again.

"Okay..." she heard Snow mutter behind her. "Weird..."

She was about to tell him to shut up when the ground beneath the lithograph split, and the gears and various other mechanics started whirring even faster. Lightning felt her heart and breathing accelerate - there was something definitely up, and she didn't want to be caught off guard. Someone pressed against her back, touching the cape to the back of her legs, the cloth rubbing her skin just below her knees.

She didn't even need to turn around to know it was Hope. They were standing in the same position they had been in Palumpolum, backs pressed together. And for some reason, it didn't bother her... that much, even with Snow and Serah near them, and she knew they could see. _And somehow... I don't think I mind... that much. _It was a funny feeling, one she wasn't used to. _But it's not... all bad._ She could feel her own heartbeat now, feeling the blood push through her veins.

The fact that he had her back in a sense felt comforting.

But she didn't have time to dwell on the budding new feelings inside before glass sprayed over them, earning a surprised shriek from Serah and Snow quickly bundled her in her coat. When it was safe to open her eyes again, Lightning cursed quietly at the shards of glass embedded in her forearms when she'd raised them to protect her chest and face.

"Light! You okay?" Hope, and a small bubble of relief grew in her when she saw he wasn't hurt - the position he'd taken behind her had protected him from the glass. She nodded, wincing when she pulled out one shard - it was going to take awhile to pick them all out, and she could see similar splinters in Snow's face because he'd been busy trying to protect Serah. And time was the one thing they didn't have at the moment, as a plated figure rose from the centre of the glass sphere that had replaced the lithograph.

Its enormous sword was raised.

* * *

><p>Hope found himself automatically pressing back, shrinking away from the blue armoured figure standing... no, floating there in front of them, moonlight bouncing harshly off the plates of armour. It was humanoid, not unlike the angel figure beneath the ground in the dungeon.<p>

_I am Asgard, guardian of Lindzei's will. If you want this power, you will defeat me here!_ This one also had a telepathic ability - the words seemed to resonate in Hope's mind like the clanging of a gong. He felt himself looking worriedly at Lightning and Snow - they'd taken most of the glass shards from the creature's emergence, and even though he didn't think it was going to be that much of a hinderance, not only could he not cast Cure on them while the shards were still embedded in their flesh, the small splinters were going to be a distraction.

_And this is one fight we_ have_ to win._

"Decimation!" Hope threw the Haste in their direction, hearing Snow hiss "thanks" as the big man moved by him, after depositing Serah behind a mass of structures where she wasn't likely to get hurt. Watching the Bravery and Faith fuel their movements as he continuously cast the supports, Hope felt a spike of dread drive itself deep into his stomach.

Their attacks weren't doing anything.

Deflected uselessly off the armour, he could see Lightning struggling to keep up with the armoured knight's movements as they exchanged sword blows. She barely moved out of the way in time, and Snow's desperate rain of spells glanced uselessly off the back plate - the knight wasn't even affected in any way by the spell. And each swipe drew closer to her skin.

"Solidarity!" Her voice was hoarse as she tried to dodge the next sweep of the sword - her back was almost to a structure and soon she wouldn't have anywhere to run. Suddenly, the knight's movements were drawn away from her - Snow had yelled something at its back and it had turned, whip like, to advance on him. Hope took the opportunity to send a Cure spell her way before she shot him a glare, and he turned his attention to Snow, repeatedly casting Cure spells as the big man crossed his arms in front of his face, taking the blows of the sword.

Why she had ordered Solidarity, he could only guess at. Lightning wasn't stupid - all this was doing was wasting time... or buying time, if one looked at it a different way. The realization hit him as soon as he thought about it - of course she was buying time. She had to have realized that their attacks were useless, and he could only hope that she would come up with something in the limited amount of time they had left.

_Think, Light!_

* * *

><p>Her gunblade scraped the cement floor as Lightning struggled to keep it upright and in her hand. She knew they were running out of time - Snow couldn't Steelguard and Provoke forever and Hope couldn't keep casting Cura. She focused again on the sight of the cerulean blue armour of the knight, trying to see if there was a chink in it that she'd missed.<p>

But there were none. Nothing had worked, not spells, not attacks. Her omega weapon hadn't even made a scratch.

_What the hell are we missing?_

Trying to focus, she blinked at the harsh moonlight reflected off the armour. _How do I even manage to see... _And that was exactly it. She couldn't. And the moment that realization slapped her in the face, she heard something.

_Clever, my l'Cie warrior. Have you never thought that this is the reason that Lahrima Castle is cloaked in eternal moonlight? _No one had spoken, and the voice hadn't been the same one that had announced the knight's presence earlier.

_Who... are you?_

But there was no response.

"Sis! Hurry up... and think of something!" Snow's voice sliced across her thoughts like a blade, and she forced herself up. The big blond sounded tired and she could only guess that Hope was too, but there wasn't...

_Fuck, there isn't anything I can do! How do I stop moonlight? And what does he mean... this place is always nighttime?  
><em>

But she couldn't let them keep taking attacks forever, as she pushed her body into action. "Aggression!" She caught up with Snow as they attacked the thing from different sides. It couldn't attack both of them at the same time, so the swipes were easier to dodge. Lightning let out a hiss as her left arm was grazed by the sword - and she couldn't even Cure it unless she wanted glass shards as a permanent feature of her arms.

_Wait. Time. Nighttime. Those gears. _

The pieces of the puzzle fell in place so fast she stopped attacking for a moment, her weapon falling still by her side as she landed to avoid a blow. Why Lahrima Castle was enclosed in darkness and moonlight, and why the moonlight never changed. Because it wasn't nighttime. The pink glow that had bathed the gears for the moment Shiva's ice froze them had been real time - it was morning. But the gears, as soon as they started spinning again, encased the place in blackness and night again. And the moonlight was making the armour invincible to their attacks.

They needed to destroy the gears... somehow.

"Hope!" Her hiss sounded strained as she backflipped to avoid a second swing of the blade. She saw him turn to look at her questioningly. "Summon Alexander!"

It was the only way. His Eidolon was the only one with enough power to hopefully destroy the gears in a few blows.

"Why?" She heard him call back. A flash of irritation crossed her mind the moment he questioned her. It wasn't a searching, doubtful question, and she allowed herself to feel a small spark of appreciation and relief that his tone wasn't that. It was an honest, genuine question and she tried not to let it get to her that he'd never questioned anything she commanded before.

"Just do it!" she snapped back, holding up her omega weapon to block the downward blow of the giant sword. "Snow!" she hissed out of the corner of her mouth.

He grunted in reply.

"Get Serah... and move as far away from us as possible."

"Wait... _what_?" She pushed him away with a hand she was only able to spare for the fraction of a heartbeat before she had to place it again on the handle of her gunblade.

"_Go!_" He cast one scared glance at her before he turned his back, flat out sprinting for the column Serah was hidden behind. The ground shook beneath her feet as Hope's Eidolon rumbled into existence, and she sprang back to avoid the projectiles being fired in their direction. She shot a glance at Hope, who was standing behind Alexander, casting spells.

She hoped he'd get the message.

_Move away... with Alexander, and have it fire everything it's got at the thing... and this mess of gears in the middle._

She saw his eyes widen, and his question was only too clear in the frightened look in his green eyes. _What about you?_ Lightning made sure her ice blue gaze hardened.

She would only have to hope she would be okay.

* * *

><p>Snow pulled Serah around in his jacket, bundling her in the safety of the AMP coat as he pulled her, as par with Lightning's instructions. She pulled against him, resisting his grip.<p>

"Snow, what... where are we going? Claire and Hope... they're still back there!" Serah's voice had a hysterical tone to it - Snow winced; his wife wasn't stupid, she had to know perfectly well they weren't winning at the moment. "Snow, you have to go back for them!" She kicked out against his grip.

"Sis's instructions," he gasped back, fighting her struggles as he pulled her away. _Sis... you'd better have a brilliant plan in mind because _this_ is _not_ making your task for me any easier._ There was only so far Serah was willing to go, he knew that. Any more than the limit and she'd go snapping back like an overstretched elastic band...

_...Right to where Sis doesn't want her._

He tightened his grip on her as he heard the rumble of Alexander's Gestalt Mode, seeing the silver toned fortress land next to him, Hope standing on the top of the Eidolon's platform. Snow had to blink several times before he realized what he was seeing.

_Wait. Hope's here too... But not Light. And that means she's still there... He's here... Fuck, NO!_

The realization must have been plain on his face - he saw the same twisted horror on Hope's face as the teenager acknowledged his reaction, and Snow felt an anxious, desperate tug on his coat. Serah.

"Snow... what's wrong?" Serah's voice hit the edge of hysteria, and he could see tears beginning to form in her wild, anxious blue eyes.

He couldn't tell her. There was no way... he could let her know. About what her sister was planning to do. _Shit... I can't tell her... why did I listen to Lightning like a blind fool? _He should have known she was going to try something like this. Something so goddamn foolish like this, something so unbelievably _suiting_ for her character.

He'd heard about her from Hope... what she'd almost done in Palumpolum if he hadn't shown up with Fang. The lines Hope had almost been too scared to repeat to him. _"You survive."_ That was exactly what she was planning here and now. He didn't even notice when the fortress Eidolon began firing all its weapons, cracking the gears and mechanics that surrounded them, causing pale pink breaches to push through the unforgiving moonlight.

_Fuck, Lightning, why are you such an idiot?_

He had been about to shout his last, angry thought out loud when Alexander let loose with its final blow, and the entire floor of the Sealed Tower cracked underneath his feet, sending millions of beautiful blue shards and shiny silver scraps of metal downwards in a deadly tornado. And just before the panels under him gave way, full morning punched through the midnight illusion, flooding his vision with streaks of pink and orange, turning the world into a kaleidoscope of colours and glass.

Right before he began to fall along with the pieces of the tower onto the ground below, Snow found a morning star, twinkling innocently in the brightening sky, like beauty that had been formed in their moment of pain.

_Bullshit._

* * *

><p>Serah eased a slab of glass off her back, pushing herself to her knees, brushing away sweaty stands of pink hair that were clinging to her forehead. The last vestiges of her tears just before the ground had cracked underneath them due to Alexander's attack were still streaked on her cheeks, and she hastily wiped them away, feeling the wetness on the pale skin at the back of her hand.<p>

And then she remembered why she'd been crying. Panic and desperation raced through her, accelerating her heartbeat and sending her onto her feet. The moment she got up, the world spun around her, not the slight vertigo that accompanied a long night's sleep, but one that required several minutes of holding herself upright in order for it to pass.

Hope and Snow were nowhere in sight... but she could see the being they'd been fighting, hacking away at the blocks of cement and panes of glass that were pinning it to the floor. Its armour was gone... the blinding armour that she could barely bring herself to look at no longer existed. It was only then that she understood what her sister...

_Claire!_ Where was she? The tears returning full force, Serah covered her mouth with one hand, desperately looking for her sister in the debris that littered the ground - they'd crashed right back into the entrance atrium of the castle. Red cloth caught her eye; running desperately, Serah knelt by it, putting the strength she had in her thin arms to ease the slab of concrete off her sister's shoulder.

There was no blood in sight, apart from the glass that had already been in her arms. Shaking her, Serah tried futilely to wake her up. The omega weapon was still in her hand, fingers curled so tightly around its handle that Serah couldn't see how Lightning hadn't already broken her hand holding it while falling down.

_Wake up... please! Claire, you have to be okay..._

A soft groan greeted her thoughts, as she felt movement under her arms. Lightning slowly pulled herself into a sitting position, hand clutching the back of her head, the other brushing dirt off her cheeks and neck. Serah felt the tears beginning to flow more strongly as her sister gave her a look.

"Don't look at me like that... I'm okay, alright?" Her voice held the slightest tone of a scoffing rebuke. Serah felt the overwhelming relief push her emotions into overdrive, as she abruptly closed her arms around her sister's shoulders, crying against her collarbone. She couldn't help it - she knew her sister hated tears, but she couldn't control them.

Something like a slight embrace met the small of her back.

"Get off... I already said I'm okay..."

Serah didn't let go. Her voice was slightly muffled. "Promise me... you'll never do something so stupid like that ever again."

A sigh. "Alright... alright... let go of me already."

"Darn straight that had better be the last time you do something like that, Sis!" Snow's loud voice made both of them look up, as Serah felt her sister let go of her, unsuccessfully trying again to push her off. Snow's blue eyes held a playful sternness in them, and she could see Hope just behind him, green eyes filled with the same relief Serah knew her own eyes had. Both of them looked a little worse for wear.

Snow didn't stop walking until he stood just above them, towering over them like a hulking menace. "I. Am never, ever taking stupid orders from you ever again. Got that?"

She heard her sister snort softly, and Serah finally moved off of her, giving her some space. "_Right_. Whatever, Snow." Hope hadn't said anything, but he saw the silver haired teenager exchange a long look with her sister. Serah couldn't read his expression, but apparently Lightning could, because she sighed again.

"Sorry," Serah heard her mutter quietly. She glanced back and forth from Hope to her sister, her mouth slightly agape. _She just... apologized to him. Since when...?_ Snow had the same incredulous look on his face, but he made less of an attempt to hide it as he openly stared at the two.

Movement beside her made Serah scoot away from her sister; Lightning was trying to stand up, and it was immediately obvious that she couldn't. Her hand gripped the half fallen column beside her, as Serah heard her gasping for breath. Immediate concern replaced the happy surprise she'd felt just a moments before, as both she and Hope rushed to her, trying to keep her steady.

"Light, Light... what's wrong?" Hope's voice was low and urgent.

She shot them both a glare, but unfortunately it didn't look as menacing as it ought to have been. Her pink hair was plastered to her face with sweat and dirt, and the same dirt was smeared across both cheeks; her panting didn't make her look any more threatening.

"Dizzy. That's all. Stop worrying."

Serah felt Snow cross his arms behind her. "Ah ah, Sis, you shouldn't be-"

The words were cut off by a loud rumble as cement and glass crashed to the tiled floor, shattering into pieces; Serah turned around to see that the guardian of Lindzei they'd been fighting had managed to free itself from its debris cage, and was advancing on them again. It definitely didn't look as strong as it had before - the shining armour was gone and there were several dents and cracks in its now ordinary looking armour.

She heard her husband crack his knuckles. "Looks like we've got something to finish," he muttered. His voice grew a little louder. "You stay out of this one, Sis, we've got this!"

Hope let go of Lightning as he reached for his boomerang, and Serah took her place just behind Snow, her left hand raised.

_This time... Claire, we'll be fighting to protect you._

* * *

><p><strong>Hm. So yeah, ha!<strong>

**Lightning pulls one of her "you survive" moments again (That scene was so intense/touching in game with her and Hope just standing there facing like... thousands of soldiers), and well, obviously no one's happy about it. And we _still_ haven't killed off the thing, even with Alexander's help! D:**

**Oh well, you guys will have to wait until tomorrow - the next chapter will be up then and expect it to be full of action/twists! We're almost done with Lindzei's Castle though, so... *rubs hands***

**Leave love as always in reviews, and I'll see you guys tomorrow!**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	38. Black and White

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! 8D**

**Thanks again to my reviewers: Whistlewind Wolf (and I totally agree with your sentiment! I thought Square was going to pull another Crisis Core on me when they did that! D:), Zapper90, OscarMerrinoz96, Crystal, and Mylaervain! And of course hearts to LadyAlaska, as always. You guys are awesome. n_n**

**Nothing much to say this time, so we'll move right into the chapter. Enjoy as always!**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 38: Black and White<span>

Serah pressed the fingers of her left hand together as the silent guardian slowly rose up in the pearly morning air. Her sister had to be okay... It was _her_ turn to protect her this time, and Serah was determined not to let her down.

"Alright, easy guys," she heard Snow mutter ahead of her and Hope. "It's damaged but it's obviously not down. Guerilla!" Serah raised her hand for the Slow, the only spell she'd really gotten the hang of and could cast easily. She was still working on Poison and Daze, but... _I really hope the other spells are getting there..._ There was no time to doubt her ability to debuff at the moment - every single spell she cast had to count.

Fortunately, she saw the thing stagger dangerously the moment her spell weakened it, its movements slow and sluggish. Hearing Snow's yell of encouragement, Serah worked on mustering a Deprotect as she felt Hope's Haste and Faith brush her arms. It didn't catch the first time, there was no indication that it had, and she struggled to cast another, feeling some sort of relief when she _felt_ the spell take effect. There was one more she knew Snow would want, and that was Deshell. Trying not to let her obvious difficulty show, Serah drew power from her brand, flinging the weak debuff at the guardian.

She almost breathed a sigh of relief when the spell took effect on the first try - she knew she didn't have the stamina for another. Snow, noticing her obvious discomfort, quickly issued a new order. "Tri-Disaster!" Casting offensive spells was easier on her - they drained less out of her shallow well of magic than debuffs. Serah sent several Aero's in a row at the weakened knight, feeling glad that their spells were doing something now, at least.

_So Claire... didn't do it for nothing._

Serah wasn't sure if she was supposed to feel glad about the fact or not. On one hand, she was glad that winning this didn't seem like an impossibility that was out of reach anymore. On the other... _Does that just reinforce in Claire's mind she did the right thing?_ Because if it had... that was precisely what Serah didn't _want_ her to think. She didn't want to see her sister do something like that... ever again.

"Serah, dodge!" Hope's shout jolted her out of her thoughts, and she moved out of the way to avoid the staggering guardian as it stumbled her way. Moving aside, closer to Snow, she sent several more Aerora's its way, pushing it up into the air, aided by Hope's Firaga. She felt Snow rush forwards at the opening the two spells created.

"Relentless Assault!" His fists knocked it up into the air, and Serah concentrated on not hitting him with her spells as he was pummeling away at it, fists beating the knight down against the flurry of spells that were pushing it up. She saw him draw back his fists.

"_Oh, you're going down!"_ The last blow slammed it into the floor, creating a spiderweb of cracks that spread like fault lines on the tiled marble. Serah paused, breathing hard, next to Hope as he slowly lowered his left hand.

Snow landed with a thump on the ground, giving her a grin and a thumbs up.

_You truly are the ones to inherit Lindzei's will. Behold, the path to what you seek._ The knight disappeared in a flash of crystal, leaving small, glittering shards clattering to the floor loudly as it vanished. She heard a small scoff behind her somewhere.

"Nice job... _hero._" Snow had opened his mouth to respond to Lightning's words when the crater of cracked floor tiles opened up, and a panel slid back noisily. The four of them watched in silence as it moved back all the way to reveal a flight of stone steps that led to who knew where in the bowels of the earth. _That's... where we're going?_

* * *

><p>Hope found himself gravitating to Lightning, automatically.<p>

_Like she's the only person I have to cling to._

The thought was ridiculous, really. He knew Serah cared, and Snow as well, in his own way. And in the face of his own conglomeration of feelings about her he didn't have the strength nor will to sort out, he wondered, briefly, if it was even worth for him to be sorting those feelings out. And in that moment, Hope realized that he was _scared_ to organize those feelings and thoughts.

Scared of what they really amounted to. Scared of what the discovery might be. It was better to leave things as they were, better to leave things in the unknown. That way, the answer wouldn't terrify him as much, wouldn't plague him as much. It was childish - she'd taught him _not_ to run away from his problems. He didn't think that applied, though, when the problem included her.

His hand found her shoulder to support her as she limped towards Snow and Serah; his heart lifting ever so slightly when she didn't try to rebuke him for helping her and didn't make an effort to shrug him off. _Either she's really exhausted, or..._

He didn't want to think about the 'or'.

Hope saw the concerned look sweep over Snow's gaze as he gave the soldier a critical look, then exchanging a knowing glance with Serah.

"Why don't we take a break? It's not like the entrance is going to run away from us - it's right here. We could all use a breather." Lightning hissed something that sounded like a tone of contempt under her breath, but she didn't argue, instead finding a fallen column to sit on, one hand pressed to her temples. Hope watched Serah settle herself beside her sister, and begin to pick the glass in her skin out, carefully, one by one.

_I should be helping._

He didn't want to make it too obvious, though. _Snow's here... will he laugh if I go over to her?_ Hope had a feeling he didn't really want to find out.

"Hey, kid. I could use a Medic over here, you know." Snow's voice sounded behind him; his tone was irritated a little but it held its usual warm, playful tone. Hope chuckled to himself. _So typical of Snow._ Going over, he saw that the blond oaf had picked out the glass from his face, small red fragments littering the tiled white ground underneath their feet.

Hope closed his eyes, drawing from the now familiar well of magic inside him, and the Cura left his fingers without him having to push. The magic responded to his will instantly now. He felt a big hand ruffle his hair.

"Thanks, kid." He smiled again, Snow gave him an appreciative thumbs up before leaning down and whispering in his ear. "Why don't we help Sis out now, eh? She looks like she needs it."

Hope returned the small smile, before making his way to Lightning, following Snow. He couldn't help but feel glad that this was a chance to spend more time with her. She gave them a half hearted glare as they approached her. Snow smirked in her direction, and she turned her attention to him.

"Snow, what-?"

He didn't give her a chance to finish. "See, Sis? We can handle anything. Didya see how I took out that creep?" Hope stared at him for a few seconds before he winced - Lightning was_ n__ot_ going to react well to that. And he wasn't disappointed.

"You do realize... you were only able to attack it because _I_ figured it out...right? Where would _you_ be if I didn't?" she snapped back. Hope was relieved to see a half amused look in her irritated expression as she exchanged a look with Serah. _At least she isn't mad..._

Snow just laughed again, unaffected by the sharp tones. "Whatever, Sis."

Hope rested a tentative hand on her shoulder, causing her to turn to him. "What... Hope?"

The way she spoke made him feel better about the whole situation. She hadn't snapped, she hadn't... _She genuinely sounds curious as to why I'm touching her. _And for some reason that caused a small bubble of something akin to happiness to rise in his chest. The realization was sharp and astonishing, as bad as the latter sounded. _She's... not mad at me._

"Light... you're okay, right?"

She scoffed a little at the sound of the words, shooting him a look that screamed _really?_ before she brushed his touch impatiently off of her. A sudden realization that he couldn't understand flooded her eyes, and she quickly looked downwards, away from him. "Hope, I thought I told you not to worry." As if to prove the point, she waved her left hand, sending the Cure spell down her arms, leaving the skin unmarked as the spell passed. "See?"

She got up, raking a hand through her pink hair before grabbing her gunblade off the surface of the rounded column she'd left it on, turning her blue gaze to the yawning hole they'd created in the middle of the floor. Hope felt a small spark of relief that indeed, she _looked_ okay, even in in the uncomfortable aftermath of her irritated reply to his question.

"That's enough dawdling around. Let's go."

* * *

><p>The descent into the cold, deep stairway felt pressuring and claustrophobic after the tender peach and serene light of the newly restored dawn. Gripping her gunblade tightly in her hands, Lightning tried to wrench her mind away from the interaction with Hope she'd just had a few moments earlier, focussing on the fact that she <em>almost<em> felt normal again. Her head still felt light and her body had seen better weeks, but there was no way she was going to show that. Walking ahead of everyone else, trying not to limp, helped; no one could see in her in the darkness and no one could probe her expressions: Serah, for one, could read her expressions like a book. And that left her to her own thoughts.

She didn't know why it felt so natural to snap at Snow, while at the same time, it felt _okay_ to not be angry at Hope for something so trivial... like asking her if she was alright. She didn't know how she was _supposed_ to feel about it... was she supposed to snap back?

_For some reason... the hurt way he looked at me after when I looked away bothered me. Bothered me in a way usually only Serah can bother me in. Maker... what the hell? Why am I feeling this way?_

Lightning wasn't sure anymore about how she was supposed to feel - things were different with Serah, who'd known her her entire life, who could pry things out of her like flicking a stone out of a stubborn peach. But with Hope... the kid she'd at first pushed away and abandoned; he'd quickly put himself into her life in a way that made him almost impossible to take take out. And it wasn't like she minded _that_ much - in a way, he was her way to make it up to the world for the mistakes she'd made with Serah.

Even if her reasons were selfish, even if her reasons for first wanting to protect him and to guide him were half for her own self gratification, it had taken her awhile to realize something.

_I'm glad I did._

There were things that were easier to speak to him to with than with Serah or Snow, and she realized she _trusted_ him. She still wanted to protect him, still wanted to give him the life she intended to give Serah, but she didn't know, or perhaps didn't want to know, what other factor motivated her to fight for him. In a way, she supposed he was something of a soul mate, someone she could relate to, and trust her moments with. But anything apart from that, removing her motivations from their relationship, she didn't know what there was; what their relationship was supposed to _be._

_Do I... really want to find out?_

She didn't know, didn't want to do the soul searching that would no doubt turn up an answer that would take awhile for her to accept.

And she didn't even want to think about their physical relationship: the awkward physical moments, some by accident, some purely on purpose that just left her even more confused about what they were supposed to be.

Small fingers of heat crept their way up her neck and cheeks the moment she thought about the few heartbeats they'd held hands... and the night he'd slept leaning on her shoulder. _Get a grip, Farron, you're supposed to be a soldier, not some hormone rampant teenager... _Shoving the thoughts angrily away, she tried to concentrate on the task at hand.

Things weren't made easier for her when she heard small footsteps behind her on the stairs as they rapidly descended into full darkness.

"Light?" Hope. And she'd just been thinking about him too.

"What?" Her voice came out sounding resigned, and she instantly regretted the tone for creeping into her voice.

"Did I... are you mad at me?"

_Great._

She tried not to sound more irritated and guilty than she already felt. "Why... What gives you that idea?" She was glad her voice came out sounding stronger than she felt.

He didn't say anything, but she felt his presence just below her right shoulder. It was awhile before either of them said something.

"Thanks... Light."

_For... what?_

Her foot hit the bottom of the steps before she could voice her thoughts out loud, and the sight in the dim lighting ahead of her pushed all trivial thoughts about him out of her mind as she raised her omega weapon, expecting an attack at any moment.

Slowly moving forward, Lightning found that she was glad for Hope's presence just beside her left shoulder. The hallway was dark, but it was only a little way before it opened into some sickly blue grey area... full of what she could identify at the moment as fungus balls of a sort.

"What the hell... are those things?" Snow's husky voice sounded just behind her back as they slowly made their way forwards. She turned for the briefest moment, feeling somewhat reassured that Snow had her sister bundled in his jacket, one hand wrapped firmly around Serah's shoulders. _Good... she'll be safe... right?_

And the moment they crossed the threshold into the area with the fungus growths, Lightning had to pause and consider how very wrong she could be about that one simple statement.

* * *

><p>It was hard to breathe.<p>

That was the first thing that hit him as soon as they left behind the choking blackness... into a different sort of suffocation. The moment he filled his lungs with the stagnant air, it sent needles of pain into his chest and it made his head spin. The air suddenly felt too warm, too thick to breathe properly. Instantly suppressing the urge to puke and run, he glanced sharply to his left the moment he heard Lightning gag.

The soldier was holding her hand over her face, clearly trying to do the same thing everyone else was: not breathe in. But the what she'd done at the top of the Sealed Tower and their subsequent fall had taken more out of her than she had let on, and Hope hated himself for not noticing earlier. The dirt on her skin had hid the paleness of it, and the darkness had hid the barely suppressed limp.

_Maker, Light, why?_

Serah was pressed against Snow - the big man was keeping her face pressed into his shirt, and Snow had a hand over his own mouth, his expression panicked. The intent was clear though: Hope knew he had to help Lightning.

Slowly, he eased her weight onto him, the worry increasing when she didn't resist. He heard her laboured breathing as he half dragged, half supported her forwards; her hand was over her face and he couldn't tell what she was thinking at the moment. Her other hand was still firmly clenched around her weapon.

_I can't even cast Cure here... why did I_ believe_ her when she said she was okay?_

They weren't moving forward at a very fast rate, and Hope couldn't see the end to the sickly fungus growths that lined their path, pressing in on the underground space. There wasn't any doubt that whatever they were breathing in at the moment came from the fungus - their bone white colour all but spelled _poisonous _in his face. There were a few spores lazily floating around, and he tried not to breathe those in - the pain in his chest was getting worse and he could only begin to imagine what it was like for _her_.

The hallway seemed endless. It was the same, even the fungus puffballs looked the same in the slightly bioluminescent light they shed. There was absolutely no way forwards except to keep going... and he wasn't even sure if she would _last_ going back now. The amount of path they had left was indeterminate.

They were really moving on only a gamble, to make it there before one of them collapsed in the poisonous miasma that surrounded them.

_We have to make it!_

The thought sliced into his mind like a brand, and Hope gritted his teeth, unconsciously tightening his hold on Lightning. They hadn't made it this far to defeated now by _this_: it wasn't even an enemy! It pushed away the numbness that was beginning to take hold of his extremities, and he felt it steel his resolve again.

"We have to do this..." His words came out as a hissed whisper.

"You got it, kid." Snow's voice was barely audible in front of him, as he faced the big man's back, but Hope could imagine the look on his face. "We'll make it through. For sure."

_For sure._

* * *

><p>The blackness crowding at the edge of her vision was steadily winning - Lightning wasn't even sure now if she was in full grasp of her mental functions. She focussed on the one thing left that she had to cling to, and that was Hope's grip on her. He was pulling her up - every step, gravity threatened to drag her down. She was beginning to regret not casting Cure on herself repeatedly before descending down here, but then again she hadn't expected the path to be full of poisonous fungus spores.<p>

And she could only hope that Serah was okay.

Her sister hadn't looked her best either - she guessed that the fight with Asgard had taken a lot of of her, especially with the amount of debuffs that had been needed.

Fighting for a breath, she tried to ignore the fact that her fingers and lower legs were beginning to turn numb, even numbing all sensations of pain in the ankle she'd landed hard on.

_Don't give in, don't give in... Fuck.  
><em>

She tried to focus on only her breathing and footsteps.

_Put one foot in front of the other. Don't think._

Time seemed to stretch on endlessly in a vicious cycle with no end.

* * *

><p>The support vanished from her shoulder as her feet sank onto hard stone and not the spongy material that the fungi were no doubt made of, and for a moment, all Lightning could comprehend was how easy it was to <em>breathe<em>. Dropping to one knee, she tried to wrap her fuzzy brain around the fact that her lungs no longer felt like they were breathing live coals, and even though she was still struggling for a breath, it was easier. Each lungful of air soothed the fire in her chest rather than aggravate it even more.

She heard and felt Hope sink to the ground next to her, breathing hard.

"Is everyone okay?" she heard Snow gasp from a foot or two away from her. Serah's small whimper of acknowledgment made her feel better. _She's safe..._ Concentrating on pulling air into her lungs, she didn't bother replying, slowly clenching her fingers to try and get rid of the numbness in their tips. Her omega weapon felt like it was frozen in her grasp.

Her silence wasn't taken well.

"Lightning!" The sound of her own name was close to her left ear, and finally, she opened her tired blue eyes, looking up at Snow's worried glance. _Serah was right... you do care... don't you?_

He bent down to her eye level, his face pale as his namesake. "Maker, Sis, don't scare me like that! Answer when I ask if you're okay."

She could only muster a nod, unsure if she wanted to know how her voice sounded at the moment. _Probably can't even speak._ Her throat felt that way, at any rate.

A Cura washed over her body, erasing some of the aching muscles in her back, and the pain in her leg. There were injuries, and exhaustion, mainly exhaustion, that ran deeper though. It would be a few days before her body would recover from _this_ strain, for example.

"Thanks." Her voice really _was_ a guttural rasp, and she winced. _Great. Now Serah... and Hope, for that matter..._

She appreciated the silence that greeted her voice after she spoke into the darkness. There was only the sound of breathing in the small, enclosed, space, but the air wasn't thick and oxygen deprived anymore. There was a taste of wind and freshness that spoke of the world above. _Just how far down... are we?_

There couldn't be any plants down here, could there? She heard rustle of cloth as Snow stood up, stretching his arms and cracking his knuckles. "Aight, guys, I'm gonna take a peek ahead of us. You guys stay put, you hear me? Your hero's got this!" Before she could yell at him for being stupid and idiotic, the blond had already marched off, boots crunching on the ground.

Lightning found herself looking into Hope's worried eyes when she pushed herself back into a sitting position, arms wrapped around her knees. He didn't need to ask for her to understand the question in those green orbs.

"I'm okay... alright?" She hoped she didn't sound like she was trying to convince him.

He didn't look like he believed her at any rate. "Someone told me... to survive once. Clearly she didn't think about applying that term to herself."

Lightning felt her muscles freeze in shock to hear him quoting her. For a moment, all she could do was stare, until a light touch to the back of her shoulders made her realize that she wasn't alone.

"He's right... you know. You have to tell us if you're still hurt. Claire... I told you..."

She didn't want their pity.

"I get it!" The angry words burst out before she could stop herself. "I get it..." The repeat of the sentence was softer than the previous one, as she hugged her knees closer to her, fingernails digging into the bare skin on her legs.

Lightning felt something like gratitude fill her chest cavity when no one argued with her.

"We know. So you stay safe too."

Somehow, Hope's sentence didn't trigger any sort of negative emotion in her, and she gently leaned back against Serah's light grip on her shoulders. The simple request didn't bother her at all, and it was only then that she realized that for their sake if not for her own, she would have to.

_I get it._

* * *

><p>Weeping walls met his fingers as Hope quickly drew his gloved fingers back from the stone, the tips of the cloth covering his hands wet from the liquid that was slick on the dark rock. Serah was pulling her sister along while he walked ahead with Snow - the big man had returned after claiming that 'the path was too long' for him to explore on his own.<p>

There wasn't much to see by, but Hope could make out the silhouette of the blond ahead of him; Snow was really too big to miss. The water on the walls of the winding stone path surprised him - maybe they were just beneath a water table, but he doubted it.

And there was also the fact that the maze of poisonous fungus had been there to greet them the moment they descended the stairs. Obviously another measure against people who wanted to nab the crystal the castle housed, Hope thought it was a bit excessive - _they_ had almost died in the path and they were more capable than most.

He could only hope that the fungi was as much a deterrent to Yorun and his gang of clones as it had been to them. He hadn't exactly forgotten they were in the castle too, but...

_But so much as happened in the last few hours that it's kind of a pain to remember that they're here too._

Bumping into Snow was a distraction from his musings. The big man had stopped in the middle of the path, and he could hear Lightning's irritated growl somewhere behind him. Hope pressed himself against the rock, squeezing by Snow to stand in front of him.

There was another lithoplate lit by a single spot of bright light, and Hope made his way over to it, backed by Snow.

_Traveller that has made it past Pieta, you will be rewarded for your trial. Raise the power of wind in this hall, and what you seek will be yours._

"Pieta..." he murmured quietly to himself. The name was familiar, and Hope was sure he'd heard it somewhere before. He couldn't place his finger on it though, and he turned back to the metal plaque.

"Must be that goddamn poisonous stuff," he heard Snow mutter darkly beside his shoulder. "Anyways... shall we?"

Hope nodded, and raised his left hand, focussing his eyes on the spot where the lithograph was fixed into the ground.

Several Aero spells hit it at the same time, before the plate amplified it into something much, much larger. Hope was forced to close his eyes as the gusts of wind swept around him, pulling his hair into wild strands and taking up the corners of his clothing. The buffeting winds were so strong it was hard to breathe, hard to pull in a breath of air that was channeled by the place into a tornado.

When the roaring finally stopped, Hope opened his eyes again, lowering the arm that he had raised to shield himself. The lithograph was gone, replaced by a gently swirling display of pristine white feathers. The feathers were embellishing a small pedestal with a silver jewel on it, and Hope felt his heart skip a beat as he and Snow moved towards it, closely followed by Lightning and Serah. Here, at last, was the prize they'd fought so hard for, nearly lost their lives more than once for.

_We did it..._

Snow's big hand had just been about to close around the small silver jewel when black feathers mixed with the white, creating the illusion of a nightmare imposed on purity.

* * *

><p><strong>Black feathers... I wonder who that could be? *raises eyebrows*<strong>

**I'm sure it's quite obvious to most of you guys, ha. At any rate, I must say, the segment I'm most proud of in this chapter is Light's little moment there in the middle when she's thinking about well, Hope. I know Hope had a mirroring segment like that several chapters ago, and that was intended, heehee. **

**Anyways, leave love as usual, and I'll see you all next time! I have work tomorrow afternoon, so I probably won't have time to crank out the next chapter. Until Thursday then, my lovelies!**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	39. Curses and Blessings

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3**

**Once again, many thanks to OscarMerrinoz96, Erifrats101 (thank you so much for your kind words!), GCFarron (welcome back! 8D), and Zapper90. You guys are awesome, and everlasting thanks go to LadyAlaska, as usual. (;**

**Update, much much later tonight, 11:54 pm April 18th: Snow's DLC episode was announced by Square today! (Thanks to Minjee for telling me!) It's called _Snow: Don't Fight for Me_, and it will be released on May 15th 2012. Hopefully this means_ Requiem of a Goddess _will be released around that time as well... its release date has been TBA: Mid-May for while now. :/ (And between you and me, I happen to care only, oh, like 1000 times more about what happened to Light than to Snow. Sorry to any Snow fans, that's just how I roll) *flails* I just wanna know why Square decided to pull that ending on us... and what _really_ happened to her! D:  
>XIII-3 would be nice while they're at it. *drums fingers impatiently on PS3*<strong>

**Nothing much else to say this time (apart from the fact I got it up early, kudos to me) so it's time to let the show begin! Enjoy as always! **

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 39: Curses and Blessings<span>

Serah recoiled against her sister when the black, ragged feathers touched her skin, feeling Lightning flinch at the sudden contact, before pushing away from her, raising her gunblade. Serah cast her a worried look. _Claire... shouldn't be fighting! She should be_ -

But she didn't get to finish her thoughts, or shove her sister back against the wall before the man spoke, a twisted smile lighting his features. "Looks like you killed the two guardians before I did... Well, can't say I'm surprised. But then again, you were never dull, were you?"

Familiar, probing golden orbs travelled over them, sweeping contemptuously over their tense figures before they came to a rest on her sister. Serah saw Hope flinch when the teenager realized who the man was looking at.

The sadistic smile just stretched wider. "Though it seems we've received our fair share of injuries." She heard Lightning hiss beside her, and she felt her own muscles lock when the spear was raised, remembering exactly how well they'd done against the weapon last time. _How can we win...?_ Feeling herself beginning to panic, Serah tried to calm down, tried to control her breathing and to focus the pent up, nervous energy into her left arm.

They couldn't lose here... not now.

The same shockwave swept over them, slamming her back against the wall - Serah couldn't help the cry that escaped her lips; it was like being hit in the chest with a whip. Struggling to rise, she heard Snow shout out the command.

"Scouting Party!" Serah clenched the fingers of her right hand together - she wasn't sure if she could cast the necessary debuffs on the man. But she had to try; sparing a quick glance at her sister, she was relieved to see that Lightning was conscious, gunblade held in one hand as her arms were crossed over her chest, breathing hard. _She'll be okay... right?_

There wasn't any time to worry about her, as much as Serah hated the thought. Her sister would just have to take care of herself for the moment being, and she was quite sure her sister wouldn't appreciate a gesture of help in the current circumstances. Turning her attention to the spear wielding enemy, Serah sent the first Slow in his direction, feeling some much needed strength return to her shaking arms as Hope sent several cure spells her way and she flung the debuff away from herself.

It took several more spells for the Slow to catch, and instantly, Serah saw Yorun's movement bog down, the single black wing now struggling to keep him in the air. He was losing altitude as she sent the Deprotect - in his moment of vulnerability that debuff caught too.

Even with Deshell, Serah could still see that Snow's punches weren't doing much to the man - either he was too strong or... Serah pushed the thought away. Neither her sister nor husband would want her thinking like that. Serah squeezed her eyes shut, feeling empowerment flood her limbs as Cures washed through her system.

_There has to be another way... I have to be able to do more!_

A new sensation filled her as she flung something away from her - she didn't know what it was, but the burst of strength from her brand on her arm told her it could only help them. And help it did - the man let out a surprised cry in the middle of exchanging blows with Snow. Unsure of what it was exactly what she had done, Serah tried to search her small well of magic, trying to sense what it had been.

The spell had come from pure desperation and impulse, if it had a name, she didn't know it.

Snow had seen the advantage in that same moment. "Relentless Assault!" Focussing her aim on the one winged figure and not Snow, Serah found herself joining Hope as they slowly moved towards the man. He was fighting back though, blocking the weaker spells with his weapon and even landing a few hits on Snow. Speckled drops of blood flicked through the air, splattering the grey stone beneath their feet with crimson drops. Serah dodged the throw he aimed at her, moving away as the weapon flicked the end of her pink ponytail.

Heart pounding, Serah realized that they were driving him away from the small silver crystal, before another smile lit the man's face. He jammed his weapon somewhere into the wall - the place he'd chosen looked arbitrary to her, but she knew it couldn't be. Even with almost no experience in a real war, she knew that there was no way someone would voluntarily rid themselves of their weapon.

_What's he... planning?_

The ground suddenly shook beneath her sneakered feet, throwing her to the ground. A short cry from Hope betrayed the teenager's surprise at the tremors that rocked the ground, as the black wing suddenly spread wide.

"Ha. If you thought you could actually defeat me, well, then, you were wrong. Because _this_ is my real power!" A storm of black feathers rained down on their heads, and Serah felt several land in her hair. She stared as the explosion of feathers caved away to reveal a brilliantly green jewel in the middle of the man's chest.

_Maker... no._

It was like all her nightmares had come back to haunt her, and she cowered against the ground, curled fists pressed to her temples, willing this to be just that - a nightmare.

Because the green jewel on the man's chest could only belong to one thing. One thing she'd met only briefly in her lifetime, but one encounter she would never forget.

Anima.

* * *

><p>Lightning wasn't going to just sit there while everyone else tried to hack away at the disgusting figure. She knew she was weak - the second impact of the shockwave against the wall had driven the barely regained breath from her lungs, and sent her into a dizzying vertigo as cotton balls invaded her mind again.<p>

She found that she could half crawl, half drag herself across the cold stone ground... if she went slowly. _And hopefully... everyone else will be too caught up in the battle for me to get _that. Her goal was the silver jewel lying about twenty feet away from her, twinkling innocently in the spot of bright light, and Maker be damned if she wasn't going to get there! Pushing her weapon away into its holster, she'd tried to take several rapid steps towards it, only to be dropped by her body like a rock.

_Shit._

Drawing several deep breaths before trying again, she kept one eye on the raging battle that was taking place on the other side of the small cavern - at least Snow had the brains to drive the creep as far away from the crystal as possible. A loud hiss of fury interrupted her when she was halfway to the crystal, causing her to look up.

Serah had hit the man with a Poison, and she could see the telltale signs of green discolouration starting to take effect on the skin and wing of the man. _Huh. Didn't know... she had that._ Her brief few seconds spent in surprise and pride had cost her, and Lightning cursed herself for not thinking about her objective first. The crystal wasn't so far away now - maybe a minute or so more and she could close her fingers around it.

The thought of actually grasping the silver thing and putting it into the red pack on her thigh made her stop for a moment again. Even if she got the thing... was there a guarantee that they would get out with it? Sure, Serah, Snow, and Hope were winning _now_ but she'd seen otherwise: the two shockwaves that had sent them all sprawling to the ground weren't uncontrolled attacks of an amateur.

She hoped they wouldn't make that mistake - and she couldn't even call out some sort of warning because that would only draw attention to herself; one thing she did _not_ want. Gritting her teeth, Lightning slowly made her way across the stone floor, pausing every few moments to try and control the dizzying vertigo that threatened to slam her into the floor again.

Her fingers had barely closed around the crystal when an earth trembling quake threw her to the ground; keeping one hand tightly closed around on the small silver thing, Lightning tried to pull herself upright again, refusing to let her left hand let go of the jewel and holding her weapon in front of her with her right. Feeling cold sweat on the back of her neck, the effort to remain upright was draining her remaining energy reserves fast.

_At least I got _this_. That's something, right?  
><em>

The thing in question was different from the honey coloured jewel currently residing in her pack - it was cold, and it appeared that no amount of body heat was going to warm it; like the thing was draining her hand of warmth itself. Even through the thick leather of her glove she could feel its icy coldness permeating to her skin, as if it was determined to siphon away every last joule of heat her slender fingers had to offer. Even so, she closed her fingers around it tightly, slipping it into her pack.

A blast of feathers hit her in the face, tangling with her messy pink hair, making her feel like she had temporarily been blinded. Lightning tightened her grip on her gunblade, stumbling back against the haze of black shafts and her own weakness, until her back hit stone and there was nowhere left to go. Pressed against the rock wall, she found that it actually supported her weight better, and that she was able to focus on the battle unfolding ahead of her.

The swirl of feathers ended in a cascade of blinding teal light that made the fuzziness in her brain worse.

It wasn't hard to see what the green sparkle was coming from, and even in her current condition, Lightning felt utter shock and dread root her to the spot, muscles turning to ice, her breath catching in her throat as she tried not to slide down the side of the wall.

_Fuck. _

* * *

><p>Snow backed away slowly, pulling Serah to her feet, fighting the weight of the slender pinkette as she resisted his grasp.<p>

"Come on... baby, we have to move!" Dragging her back, he felt her cower against him, breathing hard as she clung to his hands. Hope's gasp beside his shoulder made Snow grit his teeth -_ this_ was unexpected, and...

_And we're not in the condition to deal with _him_ right now, especially since Sis..._

He cast a worried glance in her direction, panic gripping him for a moment when she wasn't where Serah had left her. He spotted her moments later, clinging to her weapon about a dozen feet away from where she'd started. She looked okay - she was _upright_ at least, and if she could stand then it could be awhile before they saw to her.

Turning his attention back to the figure with Anima's crystal embedded in his chest, Snow let out a low growl, supporting Serah as he leaned her against his shoulder, before readying his fists. _Whatever the fuck you are... we can still take you on. _He still had Shiva - that had to count for something.

A small chuckle interrupted his thoughts. "You see now? Why you will never win? The difference between your power and mine... do you see now?"

Snow felt Hope tense beside him, and Serah tightened her grip on his shoulder. A soft whimper left her lips as she looked up at the thing that so obviously embodied Anima, the fal'Cie that had set their feet down the path that had led to their 'fate', and Snow knew what she was thinking.

_We spent... so long trying to defy the fate that it gave us. Only to find that it's back._

"Do you see? I didn't give you a Focus... I _wanted_ you to resist me."

_So wait... he... _

The man sounded exactly like Barthandelus, spouting the exact same garbage that the Cocoon fal'Cie had said to them over and over. Snow didn't understand why their resistance to Yorun was needed - it seemed like the creep was at their every turn, trying to send them off their path, trying to do away with them. And he wasn't in the mood for puzzles - right now, they needed to _win_.

Snow felt the small heart shaped crystal beginning to form in his palm, and he prepared himself to smash the small pale blue crystal in order to summon his Eidolon, before a light that was even brighter than the soft sheen his Eidolith emitted flared inside the small cave, illuminating even the darkest crevices of the cracks that lined the chamber, causing Serah to let out a surprised scream.

The flare attack smashed into the ground, thermal drafts forcing the cracked columns of rock to rise underneath him. It was a curious sensation - Snow felt his skin blister under the heat only to be flattened by the force from the liquid's pressure that was released from a water vein that the flare attack had hit. Like being burned and and soaked at the same time; truly trapped between two opposite elements.

That was when every single sensation of pain was blissfully wiped from his body as he felt something catch him delicately on its metal back, springing easily between the nodes of rock being raised by the flare column of magma that had been conjured by the attack.

Snow heard one last comment before whatever had caught him leapt gracefully up towards the fresh air streaming from the hole that yawned upwards to greet the sky.

"This will not be the last time we meet. Rest assured, my errant l'Cie. We'll meet again, and soon."

* * *

><p>For a moment, all Hope could do was to lie on his back facing the star sprangled sky as the fresh breeze played with his hair; feeling the long blades of grass tickle his back, reaching under his teal scarf to brush against his throat. The silhouette of Lahrima Castle was in the distance - the large drop that Yorun's flare attack had carved into the earth was several dozen yards behind them. The utter contrast to their predicament just not five minutes before couldn't have been more obvious; the whole situation spread before him seemed surreal. <em>Is it really... nighttime again?<em>_ Have we been fighting for that long?_

Gradually, Hope forced his breathing to clam, but it was awhile before he let himself sit up, not wanting to disturb the serenity of the dark blue sky, unsure if it was just an illusion in the midst of a battle that had very quickly turned, quite literally, to hell for them.

_How did we... survive?_

He had his answer the moment he raised his head, green eyes following the large dancing, feline figure above Serah, who had reached her fingertips out to touch the jade green feline figure, an appreciative smile slowly stretching her lips.

"Thank you... Carbuncle," he heard her whisper, before the summon vanished in a puff of ruby, leaving the small, periwinkle blue crystal to drop into her open palm before even that disappeared.

The aches in his body had vanished, all traces of the poison they'd all inhaled had vanished. For a heartbeat, Hope let himself fully appreciate the curative power of their Eidolons. _They're really summoned... when we need them most._

A low moan came from several feet away from him - Carbuncle had dropped Lightning off by a tree, and she was rising to her feet. A burst of relief crowded through his consciousness: the summon must have healed her as well with its powerful cure spells. It was all he could do not to go running to her, and he had to hold himself back.

The few heartbeats it took for her to walk over to him felt like a fal'Cie had purposefully stretched them. She caught the relieved look on his face before she was even in range, and Hope winced at the sharp rap on his forehead when she neared him.

"Silly," she scolded softly. And for the umpteenth time that day, their eyes met. Hope found himself looking into her icy blue gaze, trying to discern the emotions behind it, wanting her to say something else. But there was nothing but the slight confusion, and the curious, yet shy relief, that swam in her expression as she gently pulled him forwards by the shoulder to catch up to Serah and Snow.

"Hey hey... it looks like we're all alright now!" Snow's confident voice interrupted their contact, and he felt her hand leave his shoulders. He was holding Serah appreciatively. "Looks like you saved us again, baby," he murmured to her, eliciting a giggle from her for the first time that day.

The big man's expression became serious as he continued. "A little too bad we lost the crystal, though."

He heard an amused snort from Lightning as she dug into something in her side for awhile, before procuring something she held between two slender fingers in utter triumph before their eyes. "What was that, Snow?"

The blond man's eyes were as big as saucers as he looked at the crystal in her fingers. A small smile was appearing on her lips. "Nice try... _hero._ Too bad _I_ got this one."

Hope let himself enjoy her moment of victory, as Snow quickly snatched the jewel from his sister in law's fingers, turning it over and over like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. A small bubble of appreciation rose in his chest, as he watched the 'family' that had so readily adopted him: Lightning rolling her eyes and she watched Serah and Snow chase each other around, the crystal now firmly gripped in Serah's small hand. _I'm... really lucky. To have people who aren't even related to me care about me like this. There's no obligation for them other than what we've all been through. And that's the real blessing... truly a blessing disguised in a curse. The bond we share can't be destroyed because of what we were._

Unconsciously and accidentally Hope felt his head drop onto Lightning's shoulder, the way he would his mother's, as they watched the pair, the warm feeling inside increasing and beginning to mix with a happy surprise when she didn't push him away.

* * *

><p><strong>So yeah... Well. Carbuncle's Gestalt Mode as been revealed - sort of like a metal kiteglider thing that you can ride, if you think about its normal mode as how it appeared in Nautilus (with like... the clothes and stuff). Think of it like a giant flying cat thing that rides on the wind.**

**With Light snagging the crystal just before the place blows up... does that mean we're closer to our goal or does that just mean Yorun's been hiding stuff? *wriggles fingers evilly***

**This chapter was a little on the short side, but rest assured, more goodies are yet to come!**

**Leave love as always in reviews, and I'll see you guys tomorrow!**

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	40. Imperfect

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3 (Gosh, are we on Chapter 40 already?)**

**And once again, I begin with my usual tokens of thanks: thewhitespirit (thank you so much for the compliments, by the way, and there's actually an important part for Hope coming up in the next two chapters or so, don't worry! 8D), Zapper90, OscarMerrinoz96, GCFarron, and Mylaervain! Your dedication to this fic keeps a girl going. And of course, cheers go to my muse as always, LadyAlaska. (:  
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**This chapter is extremely intense on the emotional side, I'm saying that straight off. And for those who have been waiting for some more Light and Hope, well... *grins to myself* I did use one stanza out of the Jpop singer Stephanie's _Friends_ in this fic, and obviously I don't own it. I highly recommend for those into Jpop to listen to it though, I love that song, and it suited the intent of this chapter so well! 8D  
><strong>

**Enjoy as always!  
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* * *

><p><span>Chapter 40: Imperfect<span>

Bracing her slender figure against the snow, Lightning pushed tangled pink bangs off of her face, feeling the icy drip of the wet tendrils snake their way down her neck. The wet spray of ice clung to the skin on her face, and no amount of rubbing was going to get some feeling back into her cheeks for awhile. Serah had been bundled into Snow's coat again, and through the howling wind, the only thing she could hear was the crunch of her boots in the heavy, wet snow.

Struggling to see, she tried to make out something against the sameness of the grey and white, but she couldn't; there was nothing to distinguish between land and sky. Where the horizon even was, she didn't know. Her right hand had frozen onto the handle of the omega weapon awhile ago, and she didn't even want to think about the stiffness in her fingers. The only thing she knew was that they were still going north.

"Light..." Hope's voice was barely audible, and she could hear the strain in his soft tones. "Can you see?"

Lightning shook her head, splaying wet pink hair around her shoulders and sending a shower of icy wet drips down her back before she remembered that he probably couldn't see her in the blinding storm. "No," she hissed through gritted teeth, regretting opening her mouth instantly when a blast of icy air hit the back of her throat, making her choke on the slivers of ice. Swallowing the cold, she stopped for a moment when the heel of her sank into an incline.

"Stay here," she ordered him out of the corner of her mouth. "I'm going to take a look." She turned to face his slightly dubious green eyes, his silver hair slightly frozen over with a layer of thin ice, the ends dripping slowly onto his teal scarf. He was shivering, hugging his arms to him as he glanced up at her. Her hand went to his shoulder before she thought about what she was doing. "I'll be okay."

_Urgh._

Lightning cringed at the sound of her voice as soon as the words left her mouth. _I sound pathetic._ Gently, his cold hand closed back on hers, moving her hand off his right shoulder, locking his eyes with hers.

"Okay, Light."

She quickly broke off the contact before his gaze could peel her apart any more, and started up the slow incline, pressing the back of her hand to her mouth, half closing her blue eyes. The similar mess of emotions was beginning to rise in her chest again, and she tried to suppress it - with her back to him, he couldn't see what her reaction was. The snow was less heavy here, blocked slightly by the slowly rising slope, and she hastily wiped melting drops off her face.

She had no idea why she was reacting this way; why she wanted to comfort him like that. Why her voice came out soft - the only person she ever spoke that way to was Serah, and that was only when her sister was upset. And the rush of emotions she couldn't describe the moment their fingers touched, just like the moment back outside Lahrima Castle when he'd rested his head on her shoulder. She'd been too shocked to react at first, but she'd pushed him away the moment Serah and Snow stopped chasing each other.

What she didn't understand was why those few moments that could have lasted just that - a few minutes, or something much much longer, hadn't made her feel uncomfortable. She'd never been the type for physical contact, so why...

_So why am I reacting this way?_

What was it about him that made her let go of her inhibitions like that? Her hands found ice slicked pink hair as she gripped the locks by her right temple, as if the gesture could beat an explanation out of her confused mind. But it didn't; she couldn't find anything but her current emotional mess, and that left her more confused than ever.

She didn't know.

Briefly, Lightning wondered if she would ever find out. If she was completely honest with herself, she was glad he was around. She was _glad_ of his trust and appreciation of her. But the more time they spent together, wordless or not, the more awkward their moments seemed to become. She didn't know what to say to him anymore, didn't know how to express herself to him anymore.

Their relationship before had been easier to manage - she could speak to him like she would Snow, albeit without the sarcastic tones, and she wouldn't have to feel guilty about it. But now, when she'd snapped at him last, she'd seen the hurt and surprised look in his eyes. That in itself hadn't bothered her too much. What had bothered her was her own guilt in seeing that pain in his eyes.

_Just what the hell... have I become?_

She _wanted_ to continue to be the stoic, independent soldier they'd all come to expect from her. But in reality, she felt like he was chipping that exterior away from her, little by little, pushing closer to the more fragile interior she tried so hard every day to hide. She didn't know what she was becoming... thanks to him and Serah, and she _didn't want to know_.

There was one thing she _did_ know though, and that was that she couldn't continue to let them pick away at her exterior, even though that had been her intention all along... _And look how that turned out._

She hadn't meant to let people into her life at all like that. And the very notion of him having some sort of relationship outside whatever the the hell they were supposed to be at the moment... terrified her. It wasn't about their ages, even if that wasn't slightly disturbing all in itself already. It was because she had no idea what kind of person she was supposed to _be.  
><em>

_I don't... know anymore!  
><em>

The blast of cold air that hit her face was a welcome interruption to the direction her thoughts were going in. Some sort of action always reminded her to what she was - a solider. Pushing wet bangs off her face, Lightning squinted into the white sameness of the landscape at the top of the slope, hoping to find something... _anything_ that would shelter them until the blizzard blew itself out. _If it ever does._

It seemed that the moment they'd left Lahrima Castle behind them and entered the northern reaches of Gran Pulse all it had ever done was snow, even in summer. And at first, it seemed like a welcome break into the blistering summer heat that drenched the southern areas, until the snow had become unrelenting and unstoppable. She hadn't been dry for days, and it was only a matter of time before the cold temperatures caused some sort of injury - being constantly wet was _not_ helping their cause.

The only solace in the whole situation was that it didn't look like Yorun and his gang of creeps could proceed any faster than they could. Crunching footsteps behind her and heavy breathing announced the arrival of everyone else, who had clearly followed her even though she'd told them not to. Snow gave her a sopping thumbs up when she shot back a glare, glad to feel the familiar irritation in her chest rise when she looked at the ever optimistic blond._ Maker, he's as annoying as his namesake. If I never see another snowflake after this it'll be too soon.  
><em>

"See anything, Sis?"

He set his feet beside her, squaring his shoulder against the wind, but she doubted he'd see more than she could. However, his extra weight at the edge of the slope had set another problem before them - Lightning could feel the snow and ice under her feet beginning to give way under his added bulk; both of them were slipping back against the frictionless surface as the snow began to cave under their weight.

"Fuck, Snow, you idiot!" she snarled at him as the entire ice shelf collapsed beneath them. She barely managed to clutch onto the new edge formed by the newly fallen snow blocks, finding herself looking up at Serah and Hope's panicked expressions as Snow plummeted into a snow bank. She heard his grunt of effort as he was devoured by the white embankment. Straining her numb legs and fingers, Lightning hauled herself back up onto the edge of the shelf; she'd managed to keep hold of her omega weapon before Snow had cracked the ice underneath with his weight.

She heard a shout of triumph below them.

"I found somewhere!"

_What... the hell?_

His snowflake encrusted face peeped up happily from the snow drift several dozen feet below them, his blond hair slicked almost silver in the descending wall of snow pressing down on their shoulders. Snow was pointing somewhere in front of him, and below them.

"Look, Sis, it's safe! Just drop down and we'll be fine!"

_For some reason his epitome of 'fine' doesn't sound 'fine' to me._

It wasn't that she didn't trust him to look a few feet in front of him, it was that he had a severe lack of judgment when it came to important decisions. But there was no other choice; Serah looked like she was freezing without her husband to protect her from the bitter wind, and she could see that Hope wasn't looking too well either. Quickly pulling her sister into a hasty embrace in an attempt to warm her somewhat, even if her own skin was freezing cold, Lightning watched them slowly edge their way down before letting go of the ice shelf - she trusted that Snow would at least have the intelligence quotient to catch them.

Her own jump was slightly less graceful than she would have liked it to be - her limbs were like ice and her almost mishap, once again thanks to Snow, hadn't made her warmer. A quick glance in front of her told her that this time, at least Snow hadn't been telling a lie. There was a yawning hole that rose up from the ground - not ideal; its mouth was too big for her liking, but at least it was the only shelter they'd seen for awhile.

The blackness swallowed her as she followed Hope into the cave.

_If this cave has monsters, Snow, I'd be concerned for your life afterwards._

* * *

><p>Hope shivered as he drew closer to the fire they'd conjured from a pile of old moss Lightning had found at the back of the cave. The small flames that sprung from the old, puckered green stuff wasn't sufficient enough to dry his snow soaked clothes, but at least he wasn't freezing in the wind anymore. He exchanged a wry look with Serah - how her sister managed not to catch hypothermia with her uniform was a mystery to him, and he suspected she wouldn't tell any of them even if she <em>was<em> cold.

Snow sat down beside him with a thump, grinning to himself. "Told you this place was good, isn't it, Sis?"

She snorted; Lightning was in the middle of holding her fingers against her neck in an attempt to warm them, but she shot Snow a venomous glance nonetheless. "For once, Snow, I was convinced you actually had some brains. Does that make you feel better?"

"Ouch."

Serah giggled beside him, pressing a small hand to his cheek as the smile spread on her lips. "Don't worry, I still love you." The big man happily returned the gesture, rubbing the arms of the smaller pinkette.

"Thanks, baby."

Hope turned away - he didn't need to see whatever they were doing. A laugh rang around the silent cavern when Snow noticed that both he and Lightning had reacted in the exact same way; she was also pinching the bridge of her nose in an attempt to assuage her discomfort. "Okay, okay... we'll behave!" A serious tone entered his voice. "So... guess we're here till this storm blows itself out, huh?"

"No shit, genius," she snarled in his direction, pointedly still not looking back. "Unless going out there yourself is somehow appealing to you." Snow's mouth was open, staring at her with a mix of shock and disbelief. The blond man cast an ocean blue look in his direction, clearly waiting for an explanation.

In the moments before Hope registered the shock that Snow was asking _him_ about Lightning's strange mood, he shrugged.

_Wait. Did Snow just-_

He had. Trying to decide whether he should feel annoyed or gratified by the question, Hope tried to hide his embarrassment by looking down at his hands. Absentmindedly twiddling his gloved fingers, he waited until he heard light snores coming from Snow's direction before getting up and stretching the limbs that were only now beginning to warm up.

Lightning had moved to one side of the cave, her back against the stone wall, head buried in her knees, damp pink hair grasped in thin hands like she was trying to rip it off her head. Hope felt his body seize at her posture - she looked like...

_She's in pain._

The obviousness of the situation was so blatant he couldn't see why he hadn't seen it before. She was only snappy like that when she was struggling to hide something: her way of dealing with pain was by projecting it onto others. And suddenly, Hope was afraid to approach her, as much as he hated seeing her like that. Pathetically, he wondered if it was because he was scared of how she would react to him trying to help her. His fingers curled into small fists, finding Nue in his pocket, wishing the weapon could harm and destroy what was haunting her at the moment.

His feet shuffled forwards automatically until he was only a foot or two away from her, and from here, he could hear her heaving for breath, like she was running away from something. _Running... from what?_ He would only have to hope he would be able to pry it from her.

"Light?" he croaked, unsure of whether to sit down beside her or not. She raised her head, looking at him under heavy dark pink bangs, staring at him critically. For a moment, a wild thought seized him: _What if she doesn't recognize me?_ The thought was stupid, obviously, but he didn't understand the confusion and desperation in her eyes.

She brushed her hair back, raking her hands too hard into her scalp before she took another breath, looking away from him and out into the storm. "Light?" He repeated the one syllable her name lasted, hoping that this time, she would respond. Her silence hurt more than whatever words she could say. _If she doesn't trust me... she won't say it._

"I heard you," she growled back quietly. A groan left her lips. "Urgh, Hope, it's not about you..." He found himself approaching her until his face was less than a foot from hers; settling himself on the cold ground in front of her, he locked gazes with her again, searching for the feelings he _knew_ she was desperately trying to hide.

Indecision, guilt, confusion, and pain.

He was surprised, really, how easily he could read that from her expression so well now. Was it because he'd spent enough time caring about how _she _felt to know? Or was it because he wanted her to care just as much about him? He didn't really know anymore - suddenly wanting her protection and her guidance wasn't enough anymore. There had to be something he could do for her that would return the care she'd given to him.

"Can you tell me?" She flinched back, at even such a simple request. Forcing himself to continue, Hope took a breath before he ploughed on, suddenly more sure that this was the right thing to do. "We have to tell you over and over... stop bottling your feelings up, and ask the people that care about you for help."

He saw some degree of anger flood her teal eyes before she pushed it away. "It's just... we almost died again in Lahrima." Her voice dropped several decibels in volume, and her next words were barely audible. "Is this the right thing to do?"

Hope wanted to reach out for her, hold her hand, _anything_. But physical contact was the last thing she needed right now, and he spent a few moments pushing away that urge before he attempted a reasonable response.

"We've been through this before... haven't we? No one knows. But... we're all here together. And no one _blames_ you."

She looked away. "That's so typical of you to say," she snapped back, sudden anger in her voice, and Hope flinched back at tone she'd taken so easily. "But will you continue to say the same thing if something happens? Something that we can't undo?"

Hope stared at her for a few long moments, unable to come up with something he knew would be satisfactory enough for her. _Maker, Light... why do you have to doubt yourself like this? _He wondered if she had felt like this before, on their journey. A sick feeling assaulted him when he realized that she wouldn't have trusted him... or anyone, enough to tell if she had.

And he could only take comfort in the fact that she trusted him enough to tell him now, a small victory in something that he knew he couldn't lose.

* * *

><p>Lightning wanted to run.<p>

She wanted to run away from those probing green eyes that were slowly ripping her hard, cold exterior away and revealing all of her doubts and insecurities that were just beginning to surface. She didn't _want_ him to, but there was no way out of this one unless she said something. Realizing just how pathetic she'd become in just a few short months, she wanted to hide... Hide like the caterpillar that hid its ugly body in a hard shell, waiting to become something beautiful.

Except she didn't want to _be_ something beautiful; she wanted to reform that cocoon that she had so carefully layered herself in the first time, before several events put enough cracks in it to make it fall off, showing her delicate, fragile interior that wasn't sure of what it wanted to become. She appreciated the fact that he cared, she really did. But just like Serah, he seemed to pick out her most vulnerable moments like the perfectionist gardener picking out the _one_ imperfect blossom in a sea of roses.

It was awhile before he said anything to her last question, and in those moments that stretched on forever, she took the time to recompose herself.

"It wouldn't be your fault," he finally said, a slightly defeated tone in his quiet voice. "Light, we're not stupid. We all knew what we were getting into. Blaming you would be..."

_Would be what?_

"Wrong," he finished, finally looking back at her, green eyes tentative and scared. It hurt, especially when it hit her that he was scared of how she was going to react. _I'm really pathetic... aren't I? That the people trying to help me have to be scared of how I take their comfort._

And it wasn't like his answer wasn't sufficient or anything... it just wasn't what she was looking for. She knew he was right, goddammit, but she also knew that if something _did_ happen, she would never be able to detach herself from the moment.

"Is this... why you were so angry earlier?" he asked her quietly. Lightning felt shock seize her body as she sharply looked up, an unintended gasp escaping her lips. So he'd seen right through it - her fortitude, her brashness. She knew _Serah_ had seen through it too - the look her sister had given her was all but one of reprimand and worry, but she didn't know Hope had too. There was no way she could even begin to process the simplicity of that one question when her instincts told her to tell him to shut up and go away; fighting it, all she could do was try not to cry out.

_Just stop it...!_

Her own denial at his attempt to help sickened her, really. She wanted to care about him; maybe more than she probably needed to, and here she was, trying to push away his return of her own reciprocated concern. _Maybe Snow was right... I _am_ an ungrateful bitch._ Some form of her own inner torment must have shown on her face because she heard him make a sound of concern.

"Sorry..." The apology slipped out before she could stop it, before she could hate herself for showing yet more weakness in front of him.

"What for?" His question was innocent enough, if she could count distress as 'innocent'. "You didn't... snap at me."

_No, but I'm trying to push you away when I know all you want to do is help._

"Look, Hope." Her voice came out gritted between her teeth, making her sound more menacing than she intended, making her sound more utterly cold than she wanted to be with him. "I know you care, and that's great. But I... I want to be alone." The plea was clear even though she hadn't added any words that suggested it.

He didn't listen to her though, instead acting like he hadn't heard, emerald eyes suddenly insistent and desperate. "Lightning, stop. Stop trying to hide." He looked scared and guilty the moment she raised her eyes angrily at his refusal, moving away from her, out of her reach. "You told me to create Operation NORA, to help me channel my pain into actions."

"That was because you _needed_ help!" she burst out angrily, no longer caring if Serah and Snow were asleep only a few feet away from them. Something akin to fury, frustration, and utter despair slammed through into her chest, feeling like a ton of bricks being dropped onto her; pinned underneath, she was going to let her refusal to _be_ helped get the better of her.

"You do too." The quiet insight stopped all other angry words Lightning wanted to screech in his direction, as he looked at her with sad, frightened eyes.

The fight left her body when she realized what he was looking at her with; closing her hands into fists, she fingered for her omega weapon, hoping that her gunblade would help calm the emotional gale she was trying to deal with. It didn't; it was only a cold metal blade that would serve to destroy harmful things in the physical world, but wouldn't even begin to tear away at the mental demons in her mind.

And it occurred to her just how pathetic she was when she knew that what she longed for most was someone to understand. She could never burden Serah with the amount of things in her mind, and Snow was dense enough to not understand any of it even if she slapped him in the face with them. And somehow... it bothered her that it was Hope that she would have to drop it on. _I wanted you to live a happy life too. Not one punctuated by my messed up psyche. _

"I'm scared. Okay? Does that make you feel better?" Lightning didn't mean to snap the words out like that, but it was the only way she knew how to communicate them to him without sounding like a worthless coward.

"Who isn't?" Hope's voice trembled a little, as she felt him scoot closer to her again. "We all are. So stop worrying. Whatever it is... we'll fight it too." He sounded as unsure as she felt, and she didn't have the strength to push him away again. She relaxed her hands on her knees as she gave up trying to soothe the unrelenting throbbing in her temples. Hope's body heat was uncomfortably close to hers, but instead of recoiling from it, Lightning found that she was able to take some form of solace that indeed, she wasn't alone.

There was only shock that permeated her exhausted, tormented frame when he gently pulled his arms around her this time, leaning his head against her throat. His silver hair tickled her neck, as she struggled to both accept and reject the gesture of comfort and appreciation.

Lightning no longer knew what to think anymore; trying to find her inner equilibrium as her feelings grappled with her judgment. It wasn't _right_ for them like this; that much diffused through her, but on the other hand she didn't want to let go. Pressing the back of one hand to her mouth, she tried to control the accelerated breathing that her body adopted in the moment of physical contact, feeling her heartbeat pounding in her throat. The other, pathetically needy part of her accepted the gesture, wholly accepted it as something she had been starved for for a long time.

It was awhile before that part of her won, pushing back angrily at the soldier instinct inside and driving it to the corners of her mind. She didn't want to think anymore, didn't want to even consider what the consequences of giving in to her pitiful needs at the moment, whether it was the physical desire to feel appreciated or the emotional desperation to be comforted. She didn't want to consider anymore what she and Hope were supposed to be - at this moment, she didn't care: it didn't matter, and in this moment of weakness she allowed it. Gently, her left hand returned the shy, unsure gesture, draping over his shoulders, while she moved the other from her mouth, slender fingers finding the brand on his wrist as their hands locked.

_Even if I show off my bravery and my strength__,  
>I can't survive alone.<br>Our fateful promise from that day:  
>it reverberates deeply in my heart<br>As life goes on.  
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><p><strong>Okay, wow, so the most intense LightxHope moment I have done <em>yet<em>. :/  
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**Not sure of how that's gonna turn out for you guys, but hopefully those who are here for that, well, it was good? xD I tried so hard to get both their emotions right: for Hope, it was drawing the line between where he's mature and where he's still just a kid, and for Light, it was balancing her "soldier sense" with the suppressed emotions she quickly let get the better of her. Anyways, hope I did ok.  
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**Leave love as always in reviews, and I'll see you guys tomorrow, when we finally return to the plot! (I mean, okay, this was part of the plot too, but it's much more action orientated than this chapter)  
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**Hearts!  
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	41. Setting You Free

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! ;3**

**Thanks, as always, go to: Lightarcana, GCFarron (awh, thanks!), Zapper90, OscarMerrinoz96, Crystal (and welcome back!), and thewhitespirit! You guys rock (but you already knew that) and much appreciation goes to LadyAlaska as well. (Yay, I'm glad you liked the LightxHope moment! 8D)  
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**Anyways, not much to say this time, enjoy as always! (:  
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><p><span>Chapter 41: Setting You Free<span>

Serah opened her eyes to a brilliantly blue white world as sunshine poked through the ice above her head in the cracks that decorated the ceiling of the dark cave that they had stopped in. Slow, steady drips announced the melting of some of the snow and ice that sheathed their cavern, and she rubbed her eyes against the overwhelming brightness, also wiping half-dried droplets of water off her face.

Snow was as oblivious as ever, snoring away beside her, arm draped over her shoulder, and Serah smiled to herself. Even now, he made her feel protected; made her feel _loved. _A quick glance around their small shelter told her Hope was asleep, leaning against a jutting crevice of the rock, and her sister...

...was nowhere to be seen.

She felt a sigh beginning to rise in her chest again. _Why does... Claire always do things like this? _Leaning her head against Snow's shoulder again, she moved her small hand to find his. The moment her fingers latched on to his, they twitched out of her grip, and Snow woke with a small sneeze. Serah giggled - with his crumpled bandanna and ocean blue eyes heavy with sleep, he looked cute in a very childish way.

Large, strong arms lifted her up suddenly, and Serah found herself being twirled onto her feet as Snow gently set her down on the slick rock floor of the cavern, grinning devilishly at her. Serah felt warmth flood her, glad that Snow at least didn't seem upset that her sister had snapped at him last night. She would have to talk to Claire about that later, but for the moment, she could let herself enjoy the few moments of their private 'together'.

He leaned down to her ear. "Guess what?" His breath tickled her ear as he delicately moved pink strands of her hair out of the way, fingers lingering on her neck.

"What?" she giggled back, holding a hand up to her mouth to stifle the sound, not wanting to wake up Hope.

"Sis let Hope hug her last night." The monstrous smile on Snow's face was enormous as he grinned down triumphantly at her. For a moment, Serah was unable to comprehend the simple statement, just staring at her husband before the seven words sunk into her brain.

_Claire let Hope hug her._

The enormity of that one statement was mind boggling, and in that moment, Serah let the full impact of that thought envelope her, wreath her in its utter incredulity, before a smile reached her lips as she looked back at Snow. The big man was clearly waiting for her to say something, still grinning stupidly at her, but there was only one thing she wanted to know.

"How... do you know?" The warm curiousity in her voice seemed to mollify him as he leaned down again.

"Saw them, duh. Too bad I couldn't hear what they were saying," he cackled. Suppressing the smile she knew she couldn't contain for long, Serah pushed her palm, gently, against his cheek.

"You sneak. Stop spying on them." She cast a glance at the sleeping form of the platinum haired teenager, who, she was glad to see, was still peacefully sleeping. Snow eased her hand off his face, and brought it to his lips, kissing her fingertips, before he clenched it in his own large hand and laughed.

"They asked for it," he crowed triumphantly, unabashed by her demand.

Wrenching her hand out of his grip, Serah put on her best stern face. "She puts up with our... stuff. Don't intrude in hers... okay?" The full toothed grin on Snow's face threatened to crack the frown on her face - that was what she loved best about him. He knew how to make her smile, effortlessly.

Just watching him grinning to himself like that made her want to laugh herself, but Serah pushed down the urge. She wanted Claire to be happy, and if Snow even mentioned it to her, even once, she knew her sister would stop. _ She deserves happiness more than anyone else... I can't let even Snow's good natured teasing ruin the confidence Hope and I worked so hard to build in her. __I know that._

"Just promise me, Snow," she murmured quietly as the big man continued to guffaw to himself. "Please?"

Seeing her now serious face, he stopped, looking down at her. His rough hands scraped the sides of her face and cheeks as he tilted it up towards him.

"I know, baby." The words were sealed with a gentle peck on the lips.

A crunch of boots announced her sister's return, as Serah quickly broke the contact between her and Snow, feeling the blush creep up her cheeks as Snow hummed absentmindedly. Lightning _looked_ okay, and there was nothing on her face to indicate anything emotional had transpired last night: it was its usual impassive mask as her sister rolled her eyes.

"Seriously? You guys are gross," she snapped in their direction. One look at Snow and she knew that they both wanted to laugh, and even in her moment of silent triumph over her sister, Serah had to appreciate how good she was at hiding her feelings and hurt. _I don't even want to _know_ what happened last night... But if she let Hope hug her, then she had to be pretty torn._

A small pang of jealousy and regret prickled her heart at the thought. She _knew_ there had been something wrong last night, but she had let herself be lulled to sleep by Snow, pushing thoughts of her sister out of her mind. But clearly Hope hadn't... and somehow, the fact that her sister had told Hope even _some_ of what was bothering made her feel the thorn of envy in her heart. _Doesn't she... trust me?_

Serah supposed it was her own fault; for going to sleep with Snow and letting only the warmth of their moment together fill her thoughts and consciousness. And maybe that in itself was kind of selfish of her. _I _do _want her to be happy... I really do! _But instead, she'd chosen Snow and his unconditional care over the frosty exterior of her sister.

A hand interrupted her thoughts, pulling gently through the tangles in her pink hair. Serah rubbed her face gently, pushing the unhealthy thoughts out of her head. _Who am I kidding? If Hope can get her to open up better than me, then who am I to complain? _A small smile spread on her lips. _I've had my gil on him since the beginning when she brought him home._

"Are you two going to stand there and cuddle all day, or do we have somewhere to be?" The delicate contact between her and Snow was broken by the time her sister had finished the last word in the irritated question. She'd woken up Hope, and Serah was somewhat confused to see that she was making a point of putting at least a foot between herself and the teenager, and she was glaring at them with her usual expression. She felt Snow's large hand meet the small of her back, pushing her forward.

"Alright, alright, Sis... Don't tear out my hair, we're coming."

Watching Lightning and Hope walk ahead of them out into the bright sunshine, Serah wondered just why her sister didn't want to seem to admit, in a sense that whatever had happened between her and Hope last night had happened. _It's not like that's something embarrassing or anything... it was just a hug. _

And maybe it was just that - hesitancy on her part, acute embarrassment on his. She knew that her sister cared, and it was like before... she didn't know in what way. And the last thing her sister wanted to admit was that she was dependent on someone.

_Oh Claire... even if you _do_ love him... It's okay to feel that way. The bonds of interdependence between people are what make this world survive. _

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><p>The world outside could not have been more different than the blinding blizzard that had buffeted them the previous day, as Hope rubbed his eyes to the bright sunshine that bounced off the pure white snow that covered the expanse of land before them, meeting at the horizon's edge with a brilliant forget me not blue.<p>

"Damn," he heard Lightning curse several steps ahead of him. "This stupid sun isn't making it any easier to see." Casting a glance ahead of him, Hope didn't know how he was supposed to feel. The hug last night had been out of impulse - it was the only method of comfort he'd known how to give. And when she finally returned the embrace, hesitantly, like she wasn't sure how she was supposed to react to it; at first, he'd been glad. She hadn't pried him off, instead, letting him fall asleep in that position, locked together in mutual desperation.

Except their desperation couldn't have been more different. For him, he'd wanted her to understand so badly that things weren't her fault, that they would fight. He didn't even want to touch what had been haunting her: he'd wanted to run from the agonized expression in blue eyes.

And the way she'd reacted this morning confused him even more. Maybe it was childish and selfish for him to expect that she would acknowledge their moment of connection last night, but all he had seen in her eyes this morning was the impassive barrier she'd re-erected around her feelings and thoughts.

His foot scuffed a patch of frozen snow, removing it from the ground, and Hope was surprised to see that under the thick blanket of frozen snowflakes, was ice. Bubbles were trapped in solidified suspension, clinging to the transparent plane underneath their feet. The crunch of shoes sounded behind him as Snow leaned down to take a look.

"Pretty," the big man mused quietly. "Wonder if there's any water underneath all that."

"You want to try?" Hope didn't think it was a good idea, but drinking water was better than eating snow, which was what they'd been doing for the last few days. The big blond gave him a grin as he moved forward, leaving Serah to back away with Hope as the big man readied his fist for a Waterstrike into the ice, before the big man signaled to him to cast a Fira at it.

The blow sent a long, echoing crack that seemed to reverberate endlessly even after Snow's fist had long left the surface of it. What Hope didn't expect was the flame to grow bigger as it ate away at the ice, hissing sounds evident even from where he was standing, several feet away. He rubbed his eyes again in the bright sunlight.

_Am I really seeing fire... burning on ice?_

Snow had landed backwards on his behind, also watching, mesmerized, as the flames danced in the clear, transparent surface of what Hope could only assume was a lake. There was a moment of silence as the brilliant flames continued to consume the frozen, transparent ground.

"What the _fuck_ are you _doing_?" Lightning's angry yell made him look up in sudden surprise as Snow quickly picked himself off the ground, brushing snowflakes off his coat.

He seemed to be trying to think of a way to calm her down. "See, Sis, there's water underneath the ice, right? If only we could -"

She didn't even give him the chance to finish.

"So we could _what_? Snow, do you _know_ why that fire's burning? There's methane trapped in the ice, that's why. As the fire burns it's going to consume more ice, which just leads to more fuel for the fire! You-"

She looked angry enough to hit him.

And Lightning had just raised her fist to shoulder height when several arrows rained down on them, one of them catching Hope in the pant leg. Ripping the cloth free, he whipped around in time to see black figures racing across the white wasteland in their direction.

There was absolutely nowhere to hide.

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><p>Her anger evaporated the moment the arrow pinned her cape into the ground, dragging Lightning back several feet as she wrenched the shaft out of the ground, throwing it aside. Her weapon was drawn in the moment it took for the snipers to reload as she started running towards them, hearing the thick crunch of Snow just behind her.<p>

The fire Snow had stupidly set to the surface of the frozen lake had effectively set a timer on them all before the ice melted sufficiently enough to drag them all down into its cold core. And once they were in the water, it was going to be nearly impossible to get out. She thought of all the times the instructors at the military school had emphasized that water, at extremely cold temperatures, was one of the most dangerous things to the human body, l'Cie or not. The exact lesson drummed itself into her brain as she began firing back, hoping to pick off a few before the battle became close range.

_"Once your body hits that ice water, you are going to go into shock. And once your body enters the state of shock, everything will slow down: your reaction time, your reflexes, your instincts, your brain functions, everything. There's no getting out once that ice hits your nervous system." _

"Shit!" she snarled, hoping Snow could hear her frustration and just how angry she was at the moment. Her gunblade sliced into the arm of one figure, and she dropped a kick into the throat, throwing the body away from her. She'd seen the red eyes the moment she'd made contact with her weapon. _Great. One of those clone creeps._

"Aggression!" There was no time to be playing; she could see the blaze already beginning to form a large, spreading pool just a few dozen feet behind her, Serah backing away from the puddle of water. There was Hope, standing a ways back, throwing an Aeroga in the assailants' direction. As confused and frustrated as last night left her, she couldn't...

_I can't let any of them die here!_

The thought fueled her movements as she buried her boot into the chest of another, and she couldn't see anything else around her except those black outfits, blotting out even the pristine whiteness of the frozen lake and its blanket of snow. _Just how many... are there?_

Another series of long cracks pushed her actions into something like desperation - the ice was melting _fast_ and if any of them wanted to see the other side of the lake without serious injury then there couldn't be any more time wasted. Slowly moving backwards, Lightning tried to draw the enemies towards her, so that they would at least be moving in the right direction if they needed to bolt.

Her foot sank into something mushy as she took a step back, trying to parry the oncoming blows. _Fuck._

It took a lot of self control not to shout every obscene word she knew at Snow - it was going to be a waste of her energy and his brain cells... not that he had many to begin with. But the surface beneath her feet was definitely not becoming any more solid, and she doubted even a Blizzaga at this point would be remotely enough to stop the fire that was beginning to catch, spreading rapidly. Soon it would be a raging flamestorm, one that would consume the frozen gas trapped in the ice faster than Snow could eat steak.

_If being trapped literally between fire and ice isn't hell... I don't know what is._

The enemy she was currently exchanging blows with was caught in the face by a Watera, and he stumbled back, allowing her to sink the tip of her omega weapon into his throat. The red that left the ragged wound she tore splattered onto its blade, giving the black metal a sickly crimson sheen, spraying the white snow drifts around them with blood droplets.

And then suddenly, Lightning felt the ground underneath her lurch, and she was thrown to the ice, gripping its surface as it was beginning to crack. The ice floe that she and Hope was now standing on wasn't that big, but she could see the unbroken icy surface beginning to turn into a rapidly shrinking jigsaw puzzle as bluish water rushed up from the frozen lake to fill in the gaps. The fire was still burning as it consumed the ice.

Grabbing Hope by the collar, she shoved him ahead of her onto a bigger floe, hoping that that one would have more stability than the one she was standing on. She had been about to follow when a rough shove sent the lower half of her body into the frozen water. The icy liquid gripped her skin for a few terrifying heartbeats before she kicked free, pulling herself onto the next floe with her arms.

Two Thundagas crashed into the floe they'd been standing on at the same time, breaking up the floating surface and sending her assailant into the water's depths. There was a hoarse cry as the water closed over his head, but Lightning felt absolutely no remorse to the fact that she and Hope had just sent him into a frozen grave at the bottom of a nameless lake.

A grip closed around her arm. "Are you okay, Light?" She found herself staring into Hope's panicked green eyes as she pushed herself upright.

"Yeah... I'm fine." She brushed away the contact; scanning for Serah and Snow, feeling him resist a little when her fingers pried his off her skin. She shook the slight doubt that lodged itself in her heart off; this wasn't the time to be thinking about anything other than getting off of the melting ice before they all met the same end she'd just watched.

The couple was on a bigger floe that was next to theirs: their battle formation had utterly been broken the moment the ice surface split into pieces. She could see Snow punching away at the remaining enemies as Serah was struggling to cast more spells.

"Come on," she hissed to Hope, not bothering to turn around, hearing him dash after her as she began to run again, delicately leaping over the cracks in the fragile transparent ice, in a futile attempt to somehow stop the lake from becoming a melted ice death trap. A shower of arrows blocked the way ahead of them, and she heard Hope shout out something. Burying bullets into the bodies of the snipers was no challenge for her, but Lightning backed hurriedly away from the crevice that the arrows had created - now there was no easy way onto the floe Serah and Snow were on, and the edge of the lake, if one even existed, had never looked so far away.

_Shit... shit!_

Hope's back was suddenly pressed against hers as the teenager backed into her. She could feel his heaving breath as she looked behind her to see what he was looking at.

There were more.

She couldn't even count how many there were, coming from the far edge of the ice, tiny black dots rapidly becoming larger. She heard Snow yell something out loud, but what it was, she couldn't make out: the blood rushing in her veins was so loud she couldn't hear anything else.

_Are we... really going to die here?_

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><p>Snow bunched his muscles at the sight of the new enemies that were pressing down on them, fast, from the opposite direction. <em>I just took out all of those creeps on this side... and here come more. <em>He cracked his knuckles before taking off at a run towards them, Serah's feet on the snow crunching just behind him. He could hear her breathing as she struggled to keep up with him, and a desperation took over his mind.

He couldn't let her die here.

That much, he knew. He hadn't gone and taken on the world with her sister only to have her slip out of his hands and into the icy waters, too far from his grasp to reach. The thought of it didn't scare him - it fueled his overwhelming desire to win this battle. A sharp glance to his right told him Lightning and Hope were also beginning to run, away from the worst of the places melted by the fire and towards the far reaches of the frozen lake. It was getting harder though; the floes were beginning to rock and sway with the natural waves of the lake and it wasn't exactly the best footing, even with boots on. He could only hope Serah was managing alright with her sneakers as he pulled her forwards with him by the hand. She wasn't resisting, but he knew she was getting tired.

The thought of the black water consuming her made him push himself more, as the black figures drew nearer to them. Serah gasped out, panicking, Snow turned back, once, to see her holding her free hand to her chest, breathing hard. She saw the look on his face before giving him a grimacing smile.

"I'm okay... just out of breath is all." Somewhat relieved that she seemed alright, Snow turned his attention back to the matter at hand.

His fist connected with a jaw and he heard a satisfying crack before he threw the man aside, swinging the next Froststrike into someone's chest, sending them careening into a newly created water hole, as the liquid sloshed up to meet the whiteness of the snow and ice. Her Blizzard created an ice flower a few metres away from him, catching several arms in the cold blossom, trapping them there. The ice creaked under his feet as he moved, trying to take out the rest of the enemies before the entire ice field was sent into the icy water.

It was less dangerous here, but they were tipping back and forth against the gentle rolling waves that pushed the floe like a cradle. Each precarious step had the chance to slip into the icy waters, where even he could see at which point there would be no return.

A blow hit his shoulder, and Snow snarled out a curse, sending a Blizzara into the man's face, freezing the ice cold irises open as he kicked him into the black water that lapped dangerously close to his right foot. Intercepting another blow aimed at Serah, Snow let out a breath of relief when he saw an opening in the circle of enemies.

Exchanging a brief smile of triumph with his wife, Snow pulled her forwards, knocking enemies out of their way as they moved to the next floe, Serah sending an Aero behind her, causing the water to crash even more violently as the waves finally washed over the surface of the ice, staining it a strange shade of green as it left behind traces of small plant life.

The next floe wasn't really another floating iceberg. He knew it the moment his foot made contact with the ground, feeling his boot sink into frozen snow and hitting icy ground. He felt Serah press against him in her moment of relief, before a cry of utter desperation and pain interrupted them.

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><p>Fighting back to back with Hope, Lightning had seen the edge of the lake already, piled high with snowbanks that distinguished it from the frozen water. The footing was more steady here, that was true, but she couldn't begin celebrating until her boot actually brushed the surface of the ground.<p>

_Snow... when this is over, I'll make sure I give you a lesson you'll never forget._

Her blade sank into the shoulder of one, and she flung him aside, shoving Hope through the opening she'd made before she threw an Thundaga at the ground behind her. The ice cracked into several pieces, none of them thick or big enough to hold a human weight, but she'd jumped clear before she had a chance to follow them into death.

Landing on her knees, Lightning threw one glance behind her - there were really only a few more to go before she could see a safe way to reach the lakeside, when a scythe was swung at her, barely missing her shoulder. She felt it nick her cheek as something warm trickled down it; cursing, she parried the second blow aimed at her before Hope threw a Waterga. Holding the scythe with her weapon, she shot him a glance, hoping he'd take the opportunity to send several magic spells at it while its weapon was occupied.

She wasn't disappointed, as a plethora of magic hit the ground where it stood. The contact left her gunblade as the man tripped backwards, plummeting into the icy black water, and Lightning had been about to say something when the edge of the blade caught the floe in one last attempt to hit them. It missed them by more than a yard, but the misjudged attack had had another effect.

The ice cracked under her feet before she'd had time to yell something, sending her entire body into the freezing water, soaking her hair within seconds as the water closed over her head. She only had a couple of seconds to react before she knew the shock would hit her like a brick; grappling for a hold, _any_ hold at this point, her hands made contact with something hard only slightly warmer than the water that she could have sworn was freezing onto her skin.

A gargled yell sounded somewhere around her, muffled by the silence of the water, but she couldn't open her mouth without getting a lungful of ice water. The grip seemed solid enough, and using the last critical few heartbeats before the temperature took hold of her system, Lightning hauled herself up onto a snowbank, her hands and knees sinking deeply into the snow.

It was only then she realized what, or who, she'd left behind.

There was no familiar silver head of hair next to her, no sign of him anywhere around her. In the few horrified, desperate seconds that it took her brain to realize what she'd done, Lightning found herself gripping the snow beneath her hands like holding it would somehow make that grip into one that held him. The scream worked its way up from her spine, ripping through her lips before her throat had even recovered from the freezing moments of oxygen deprivation.

_"Hope!"_

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><p><strong>I feel... really evil now, did you know that? <strong>

**This had been meant to happen for awhile because it mirrors a future event, which I will say nothing about in the time being, but... poor Hopekins. I don't think things bode well for Snow... do you?  
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**One more thing. You know that whole "fire on ice" thing? That's actually completely true. I took an Organic Chemistry course way back in my first year for the credit, and that's why everyone's so concerned about the polar ice caps and global warming. Methane, a natural component of permafrost, is frozen in the ice of the ice caps, and as you may (or may not) know, methane is a greenhouse gas. So how the scientists find evidence of methane existence in ice is by burning it. And it actually lights on fire, because methane (and actually, any hydrocarbon) is _highly_ flammable: it _can_ and _will_ spread across an entire lake surface if it's unchecked and there's enough methane. (I would know, burnt myself in a third year Chem lab course before) So yeah...  
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**So anyways, it's Friday, and as usual on my "before the weekend" update, I promise at least one chapter this weekend. Leave love (or maybe hate, depending on how you saw this chapter D:) as always in reviews, and I'll see you guys next time!  
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**Hearts!  
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	42. Ice Bound Soul

**Hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! 8D  
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**I start off again with my usual thanks: Zapper90, GCFarron (haha, hug privileges, I like that! & thank you~!), OscarMerrinoz96, Mylaervain, Lightarcana, madapocket, the whitespirit, and Crystal! You guys really made me smile with all the concern for our awesome Hope, and thanks again for your continued support of me! And as always, hearts go to my muse, LadyAlaska. :3  
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**So, since I know you're all wondering what happened next... I'll be quiet now and enjoy as always! :D**

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><p><span>Chapter 42: Ice Bound Soul<span>

Lightning tried to hang onto the snow beneath her fingers like the they were something she could use, past caring if the icy flakes froze her fingers into position. The desperate, painful heartbeats that wracked her chest felt like too much to bear, and she couldn't even begin to comprehend the hatred she felt for herself. _Why didn't I care about him first? I thought I was here... to save them..._ _I promised __I'd protect him... I promised!_

Sudden thumps of shoes on snow sounded behind her, but they were like miniscule crystals held up to the light of the sun: immaterial and insignificant. It was only when rough hands shook her shoulders that she was snapped from her own private hell, forced to accept the present.

"Lightning! Sis, what happened? Hope?"

She found herself looking up into Snow's panicked ocean blue eyes as he shook her, trying to pull her up from her frozen posture, but she didn't let herself move. Even the ice eating at her numb fingers, even being _consumed_ by the icy black water, was better than what he was trying to make her admit. She felt her limp, numb body being dragged upright despite her soundless protest; as small, warmer hands closed around her own frozen fingers, she pushed Snow and Serah away from her, backing away a few steps, her eyes focusing on the spot where their ice floe had been - now only a few white fragments drifting aimlessly in the blue black water.

Snow's gaze followed hers. "_No!_" he shouted, preparing to launch himself into the icy water, only to be pulled back by Serah, tears trickling down her sister's pale cheeks as she tried to hold back her behemoth of a husband.

"No, Snow, you can't go! You can't! Please!"

Her sister had no idea how much Lightning wanted go to herself... if she didn't know how useless it was going to be, if she didn't know that her body would freeze within moments of contact with the icy water, if she didn't know that any more efforts on her part would be useless and utterly pathetic. She hadn't been there in the moment it _had_ counted, and all she could think about in _this_ moment was how willing she was to go back to that moment and take his place. Even that... would have been more acceptable future than this.

_I'm... a despicable person. I don't... deserve to live._

Other emotions, feelings apart from self-hate, pain, and worthlessness were frozen inside her. She couldn't feel or think about anything else, and for a moment, Lightning wondered if she should do it anyways: jump in after Hope's vanished form, and continue in her worthless attempt to save him. If she happened to die... so what? She deserved to.

"Sis. Sis... I-I'm sorry." Snow's broken whisper was just above her shoulder, but she didn't want to turn to him. She didn't want to see the look on his face... especially since she knew her own was some similar rearrangement of his. "I'm such... a stupid idiot."

The words hit the most primal part of her instincts inside, fueling the angry feelings, and abruptly, she whipped around, the sudden anger seizing control in the absence of all other motivational emotion. "You're fucking_ right_ that you are!" The words wouldn't stop as the swift fury got the better of her. "What the _fuck_ did you think you were doing? You..." Abruptly, the stream of hurtful insults trailed off; she couldn't continue. The words didn't apply to _him_. As stupid as his actions were, he couldn't have seen how they would turn out, couldn't have foreseen what the results of his intended good will gone wrong would be. The words applied to _her._

She'd known what was happening. She'd known the moment both Hope and her had hit the water, and instinct had told her to save herself instead of him. She hadn't even thought about trying to grab him before the ice kicked into her system, sending her into the frozen realm of shock. She hadn't even thought about him when she'd dragged herself onto the snow encrusted land. She had only thought of saving herself.

He'd shouted for her.

In the moment that the ice had utterly engulfed her, she _knew_ he had shouted for her to help him. And in that same moment, she hadn't been able to reply without filling her lungs with ice. If she was any more useless and worthless, then that moment proved it; in that heartbeat, she couldn't have given him a clearer idea about how she felt about him.

Lightning found she was terrified and haunted by the thought that his last thoughts of her were that she hadn't come for him when he needed it the most.

* * *

><p>There had been no choice but to keep moving, as much as the choice tore at his heart. Snow felt his hands curl into fists as he led the way. Serah had dropped back behind him, pulling her sister along by the hand. Her silence and non-resistant form were perhaps what scared him the most; for a moment, when he'd spared the effort to look back at her, he'd thought she'd finally lost it, finally snapped under the unrelenting pressure she put on herself.<p>

And it wasn't like he didn't put the same pressure on himself. The thought of what he'd done had finally hit him, fifty feet from the lake's edge. However unintentional, he'd... _I'm a fucking retard._ Exactly like she'd said. When she shouted at him, he wanted her to continue, wanted to hear everything thrown out into the open. But instead, after only two sentences, she'd choked, and he'd seen the blaze of pain and guilt in her eyes. She blamed herself more than she had blamed him, and Snow wondered, sarcastically, if he was supposed to feel better at that.

The horizon was endless in front of them in the light of the dying sunlight, streaking the snow and ice a mosaic of colours in the shades of a million blooms of flowers. And at any other time, Snow would have found some joy in the beauty of the landscape. But today, all the resplendent colours did was remind him of blood, remind him of the fight they'd just survived.

He didn't think he could bear it.

"Snow?" Serah's quiet, scared voice sounded somewhere by his sleeve as she tugged carefully on it. "We should rest... Claire..."

She didn't need to say more. "I know, baby." He wished there was some way to make his voice sound more alive - if there was one thing Serah needed right now, it was a soft place to land. Instead, his dead tones just reinforced the scared, apprehensive look in her eyes. "You stay with Sis. I'll take a look around."

He forced himself through the remaining snowdrifts like they were composed of frozen acid instead of pure liquid, his boots tracking silent impressions in the soft snow. What he found though over the next small hill, wasn't a place where they could be at least partially sheltered from the quickly falling night. What he found were deep blue ice structures constructed serenely around a deep entrance set into the ground, leading to what he could only see as darkness.

The Ice Cliff Palace.

Ironically, they'd found it in the one moment they hadn't needed it. Snow didn't know who to curse for the cruelness of the situation, and he forced his feet to move, one in front of the other, as he made his way back to his wife and sister-in-law, hating himself with every step, every crunch of snowflakes under his feet.

Serah had gotten her sister to sit down on a rock, but Lightning looked like an impassive statue, hands twisted at her sides, not even bothering to clean the blood off the cut on her face or the ice that was slowly freezing her petal coloured hair into spikes. Only her eyes betrayed the fact that she wasn't an ice sculpture, and Snow hated the pain and agony he saw in them.

"Hey." The word was so empty and hollow in the vast expanse of white tinged with red and pink, purity stained with war. War... and love. Even the weather was reflecting what had just happened, and Snow hated everything from the fal'Cie created ground to the goddess Etro in the Unseen Realm for throwing them down this path. "I found a place."

His voice sounded so inadequate against the void opening beneath his feet that it made him wince.

Serah looked up at him, a small veil of relief lighting the indecision and fear in her eyes, before she tugged on her sister, trying to coax her to getting up. Lightning didn't move though, her fingers only gripping harder on the handle of the omega weapon like she could destroy her pain with it, and for a moment, again, Snow thought she had finally snapped. He watched her ice blue eyes close for a moment, as if she wanted to shut out everything that hurt her in the world, before opening them again, letting Serah pull her up.

He felt like he should have said something more, something infinitely more commensurate to elicit some sort of response out of her. He wasn't used to this, and in some way, he felt like he wanted her to shout, swear... _anything._

_Heck, Sis, if you cursed at me for being the retarded idiot I am, I would welcome that at the moment._ Somehow, her lack of a response to everything outside of her own personal purgatory made him feel frightened of her mental condition than if she had snapped and pulled out her gunblade, an almost manic response to what was hurting her, like she'd done at the beginning of their journey. But instead, she was holding it all back, as if steeling herself against the inner torment was going to make it easier on her.

_Why did things have to be this way?_

* * *

><p>The cold stone entrance to the underground Ice Cliff Palace shielded the wind, but no amount of heat was going to make her warmer. Lightning felt like she was never going to be warm again. She'd let Serah gently clean the blood off the mark left by the scythe, and she'd let Snow and Serah set up the fire near her, but even with the flames that dried her drenched clothing, she couldn't forget. The stinging pain on the left side of her face was only one outlet of her anguish; she'd refused to cast a cure spell on it: it was a distraction against the storm inside that was threatening to rip her apart.<p>

Unable to say a word, she could only watch Serah cry herself to sleep against Snow, and she could only watch as the big man's tired cobalt eyes close as he finally nodded off too. But she couldn't. She'd purposefully found herself the coldest, most uncomfortable place to sit, her back against a jutting slab of concrete, right at the mouth of the entrance. The physical discomfort was a welcome preoccupation against the mental torture: she'd let him die.

There was no way around it, no way to deny it. _I told you... I would never be able to detach myself from that moment!_ And he'd been the one to tell her she wasn't to blame. _Do you still feel that way? Do you?_ Somehow, being angry dispelled the pain before it all came rushing back like a river flooding a broken dam. Dams never held back the water for long.

And Maker would be damned if she didn't! Feeling the energy of the grief consume her, Lightning forced herself up in one fluid movement, bracing herself against the gust of strong wind that blew back her damp pink hair.

She had to find him.

There was no way he could have survived in the water for that long, but it didn't matter. She still had to find him. The new sense of purpose erased some trace of the utter agony that wanted to drag her into its depths, but she fought back against it, her new resolve fighting the urge to wallow in her own despair.

A slim hand closed on her wrist, pulling her down. "Claire... don't go."

For the first time since this afternoon, Lightning felt words fight past her tightly closed lips. "Let go of me." She tried to shake off Serah's grip, but her sister didn't let go, instead just gripping her slender wrist harder.

"It's not going to help. Do you think... he'd want you acting like this?"

Something snapped again, as she felt the familiar flare of anger consume her, fed by the fierceness of her new purpose. She was shouting before she realized what she was saying. "How the hell do you know, Serah? How the hell do you know what he wants? And now..." And just like before, Lightning felt every scrap of fight she had left drain from her like there was something that fed off her the moment she got angry. Her next words sounded pathetically weak and pathetically stupid, but they were the truth she could no longer deny. "And now I'll never know."

Serah stood up too, and she could see that her sister was out of words to say, out of words that would make her feel better. Instead, she simply pulled her arms around her back, bringing them together in an embrace that Lightning knew she couldn't return. The similarity, the stark likeness to what had transpired just last night made her want to scream.

There was no way out of this.

"We go on. We finish this, okay?" Serah's desperate words were close to her ear. "I promise."

Lightning didn't want to hear anymore.

* * *

><p>The blue light that pierced through the upper glass layers of the ice palace's ceiling bore down, hard, on the back of Serah's neck. The light danced playfully before her eyes, and any other time, Serah knew she would have found this place to be the most beautiful of the three shrines built in honour of the fal'Cie gods. Someplace serene, angelic, like it was <em>unaffected<em> by the storms of the outer world. How the light penetrated to an underground castle, she would never know, but it didn't matter. The amaranthine placidity of Etro's castle was accented by the constantly shifting blue light.

Inside though, the place was a maze, and Serah felt her hand tighten in Snow's as they walked together, slowly, taking comfort in each other's presence. Breathing in his husky scent, Serah had tried to convince herself her sister would be okay. But after the brief shouting she'd done last night, and the silence that had followed, Serah knew she couldn't convince her sister, couldn't get her to open up and let out her emotions. A stab of pity went through her chest as she remembered the thought that followed it.

_No... that's what _Hope_ got her to do._

It had been hours before her sister had finally fallen asleep, and Serah had held her for awhile longer, unsure if Lightning was only accepting the physical comfort because there was no other way. Before gently letting go of her sister, Serah had seen the cut that was still on her face in the harsh moonlight that bounced off the snow outside, like a tribute to her pain; only she knew that her sister's pain cut much more deeply than a shallow graze across her pale skin. Serah hadn't, and still didn't, know how to comfort her, not when her own pain was so acute. She'd tried to hide it, tried to seal it away in the face of _their_ pain, but she knew it would come out sooner or later. For the moment, though, she was determined to keep it in. _I have to be strong... for their sake. Even if I'm hurting._

"So." Snow's usually boisterous voice was subdued, but it still echoed off the panes of glass that decorated the large antechamber they were in. He coughed slightly before moving on. "Any ideas, Sis?"

"No." The answer was short and curt, and she didn't turn around.

There were two paths laid out in the shifting blue gloom in front of them, and both of them twisted into the darkness, their ends unseen. There was no telling which way was the right way to go.

Her heartbeat was the only thing Serah could hear in the dim light as she watched the still form of her sister and the one of her husband, their hands tightly enclosed together.

_How are we... going to keep going?  
><em>

* * *

><p>Cold.<p>

Like trying to breathe rocks, Hope found that breathing the ice water was just as hard, if not harder. The ice attacked every inch of his skin cells, turning them from workable, moving limbs into ones that might have belonged to an ugly sea creature, one that never saw the sunlight. He'd tried calling out to Lightning, tried shouting her name before the water crashed over his head like a tidal wave. She hadn't responded though, and he could only hope that it was because she was in the same situation that he was in: water pressing in on every sense until that was all he could comprehend. There was no way it was the alternative...

And try as he might, there was nothing to hold onto, nothing to grip his hands into that would grant him the oxygen his lungs so badly needed. The cold was messing with his body, messing with his mind, because it seemed like there was _nothing_ he could hold onto, his arms and legs beginning to be spun into a cold cocoon that wouldn't grant him release.

Blackness crowded at him even though his eyes were closed, and Hope knew that if he didn't get some air into his lungs soon, he would end up dying exactly like how the enemies they'd forced into the water had died. Clawing furiously through the liquid as if it was something he could hold, he found nothing except intangible sensations he couldn't hold.

_Light... save me!_

His own desperate thought made him wince, even in the face of the ice that was freezing his muscles. He couldn't rely on her for protection forever, couldn't promise to help her too when every life threatening situation made him turn to her guardianship like a scared little kid. But he really was desperate - instinct was beginning to win over cognition as adrenaline kicked into his system for the one last "fight or flight" reaction.

Hope found it strangely ironic that he couldn't do either of the reactions his body wanted him to make. He couldn't run from the world of water and there was nothing to fight. Nue was gripped in his right hand, but there was nothing for the weapon to hit. Briefly, he wondered if he should just give up.

Maybe that was easier, just letting the water in and invade his senses and drag him down into the depths. He couldn't even feel the ice that attacked his skin anymore - it had felt like fire when his skin had first made contact with it, but now it was just another wave upon wave of uncomfortableness that rocked at his failing consciousness.

_"I don't have time to babysit you. You want to get tough? Do it on your own!"_

The memory of Lightning's angry words to him in the Vile Peaks sliced through the fog like a blade, and the memory pushed away the thoughts of hopelessness instantly. She would be angry again if she saw him giving up so easily like this again, and this time, he was determined _not_ to let that happen.

Desperate hands clawed upwards again, trying to find some form of purchase in the icy liquid, feeling a shock of pain rip through his body as his fingertips brushed the ice that had no doubt reformed over the frothy, still liquid over the lake's surface. The tips of his gloved hands punched through the thin surface that had spun across the black water in the time he'd been submerged, but there was nothing to grab even as frigid air seized his digits.

Even with his head threatening to break the surface, he couldn't hear any sound of struggle except his own. A sense of something like betrayal and panic was beginning to set in. _Light wouldn't abandon me... right?_ _She'd wait for me_... _right?_ Suddenly, strong hands seized his own, pulling the rest of his body from black into brightness.

Hope felt himself being set down on solid ground, and for a moment all he could do was breathe, as someone draped something over him.

"So, you goin' for a swim there, kid?" It was a familiar voice, but one he couldn't place at the moment - his mind seemed to be still full of ice fragments. A small _kweh kweh!_ solidified his perception of reality, and slowly, he opened his eyes, looking up into Sazh's crinkled brown eyes with a mix of amusement and worry. The chocobo chick fluttered happily around his head, picking at the icy strands that had melded into his platinum hair.

"Talk about a sight for sore eyes," he managed to get out, still trying to catch his breath.

Sazh ruffled the silver hair on his head. "Nice to see you too, kid. Where's soldier girl and the hero?"

_What?_

Hope hugged the thick brown overcoat to him, feeling grateful of its warmth before struggling to his feet. "They're not... here?"

The older man shrugged. "Nope, not a sight. Thought you would've known. Though I suppose Lightning wouldn't have let you go for that swim if she was." The joking tone was erased as the Sazh scrutinized him more closely. "You kids are alright, aren't you?"

Hope actually had about a million questions for the older man but he held his tongue as his gaze swept over the sight behind him. There were at least ten Guardian Corps hoverplanes in the ice and snow behind him, and several soldiers were milling around, preoccupied with techs in their hands, others polishing black metal weapons. Sazh caught his incredulous gaze.

"Surprised? Don't be. Long story short, we figured out what you kids were up to awhile after you left. See, those creeps you guys were chasing after decided to go out again for another shot at New Bodhum, and we figured out their plans because we caught the sneaks that had wormed their way into Pulse Management. So we decided to chase after you to give you kids a hand. Came in on time, did I?"

Hope felt a small chuckle escape his lips at the last comment. "You could put it that way." He glanced up again. "So... Light and Snow and Serah aren't here?"

The older man shook his head. "Nope. Lemme ask around while you warm yourself up, hm?" He walked away before Hope could say anything else. Still shivering, he clutched the woolen thing closer to him, trying to use its warmth to boost his own body heat. Rubbing the numbness of his arms, he cast another sweeping glance over the area - her distinctive pink hair was definitely not there.

Sazh was back before Hope could consider the emotional consequences of his current situation. "No sign of the others, but there _are _several sets of footprints leading north. I'd bet my buttons that's them."

Hope smiled as the man pushed him forwards towards a group of soldiers chatting several dozen feet in front of them: one of them had the blue stripes of a commanding officer. He waited awkwardly to the side as Sazh chatted with the officer, gesticulating animatedly with his hands for a few sentences as they talked.

The hand was back on his shoulder as they both started toward north, finding the pink streaks of dawn as the light reached its fingers across the milky sky. "So kiddo. You up for this?" The chocobo fluttered happily around them, its talons clutching his teal scarf as it flapped, chirping. Half heartedly, Hope tried to snatch it back - all that made the small yellow bird do was flap higher, out of his reach. He let out a sigh; he supposed this was its way of letting him know it was glad to see him.

There was no hesitation in Hope's voice as he turned back to readdress the question. "You bet."

_Light... if you're out there, I'll find you. Time for me... to come looking for you._

* * *

><p><strong>So yeah. ;D<br>**

**A little note about the above scene: the ice breaking part was always meant to happen, but the part where Hope 'died' wasn't planned until just a few days ago when I was discussing things with a friend and she suggested it; like I said last chapter, it was meant to parallel a future event. I feel kind of bad about it... tbh, I mean, being mean to Hopekins wasn't an intended act, but it turned out kind of interesting to write about, and it actually tied in with my reintroduction of Sazh more than what was originally intended. (Now that I think about it, it would be sort of weird if he just showed up and was like "hey kids, sup?". Now he actually kinda plays a role in it all...)  
><strong>

**Anyways, yeah. 8D Leave love as always in reviews, and I'll see you guys tomorrow~!  
><strong>

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	43. Nascent Requiem

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! ;3**

**Thanks once again, go to: Zapper90, Crystal, OscarMerrinoz96, Lightarcana, thewhitespirit, madapocket, and Mylaervain! You guys are awesome, and of course, without LadyAlaska, I don't think I could have finished this chapter. It was... that hard to write.  
><strong>

**That being said, my A/N is clumped at the beginning this time because I don't want to 'kill the mood' of the ending of this chapter, so to speak. The first thing I have to say is... I never expected events to clump together like this. Hope was never meant to 'die' originally... so I feel kind of bad for moving onto events like this so fast. But this chapter had to be done... and it had to turn out the way it's going to turn out. To just draw your attention to something... I didn't name this chapter after the title of this fic for no reason.  
><strong>

**Borrowing another line off a song merits some credit: I did use a stanza of Yuna Ito's _Trust You_ in this chapter, and obviously I don't own her song.  
><strong>

**I really, really appreciate all the support I've gotten though; leave love in reviews as always! (I know I usually say this at the end, but like I said... I don't want to ruin the ending of Chapter 43) Enjoy as always.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 43: Nascent Requiem<span>

In the end, there had only been one way to solve the problem: they had to split up. There had been no other alternative, with time not on their side. And this time, Serah was determined not to let her sister go alone. Snow had understood the moment they'd looked at each other; he'd understood with only a wry glance from her blue eyes what she wanted to do. And when he hadn't argued, despite the barely suppressed pain in her chest, Serah had felt the rush of love and appreciation for him.

He'd held her close before they'd parted, pressing phantom kisses into her hair and tracing the lines of her chin and cheeks with rough, calloused hands. "Love you, baby," he'd whispered in her ear, gently pushing aside pale pink tendrils of hair. Pressing her own small hands to his strong, well sculpted face, she had been the one to initiate the contact between their lips.

"I love you too," she replied quietly before she felt the sad smile spread on her face. He'd given her one last tender caress before setting off alone onto his chosen path, blue scarf swishing in the darkness before it swallowed him.

Serah had followed her sister down the other path, the eerie blue light revealing nothing but a straight path, curving and twisting at odd angles. She focussed her eyes on the distinctive red cape that stood out in the lighting. Her sister had barely said a word in the time it had taken them to move into the Ice Cliff Palace, and had hardly glanced her way. Serah bit her lip.

_Claire... _

Her sister was doing what she always had done: hiding her pain and emotions. There had been nothing in her ice blue eyes this morning, like she was carefully keeping it devoid of emotion, her lips set in a straight line that betrayed nothing. Like she had walled herself off from everything else, like she was seeing and feeling nothing. Except this time, there wasn't any indication of fight left in her. She hadn't...

Serah found herself clenching her small hands as she moved faster to catch up with her sister, finally catching up to her side. Like this morning, Lightning's face was kept as an impassive mask, features set in a neutral expression that Serah _knew_ was there to hide her inner torment, to hide her pain.

"Claire?"

She stopped, eyes staring straight ahead. "What?"

Trying to think of the right words was hard. There was only one meaning she wanted to give, but Serah was no longer sure if it was the right thing to say, and as try as she might, she couldn't of another way to say it. "Claire... don't do this..."

There was no response to her words. But Serah had seen her visibly flinch before snapping herself out of, beginning to stride down the hallway with an even faster pace than before, her footsteps echoing loudly off the glass panes that made the hallway seem endless yet ephemeral at the same time. She closed her lips before running after her, fighting the urge to cry.

"Claire, stop! I didn't mean-"

"I know." The assertive two words cut off the words that Serah wanted to say. The tone in it was final, and she closed her mouth, knowing it was fruitless to argue with her now. "I know." Her voice softened a little. "Going on... is the only way I can deal with this. Keeping myself moving is the only way I know I'm not going to fall, okay?"

Serah moved two slender fingers to her lips, feeling the trembling digits against the surface of her face. Keeping back the tears was hard, but she knew she had to. For _her_ sake.

Following her sister wordlessly, she kept her hands pressed to her mouth, feeling her breathing through her slim fingers. Like Claire, Serah was only able to keep pain from pervading her mind when she kept going, when she wasn't still to let the painful feelings invade. And even still, there were the painful echoes that reverberated through her mind, and Serah forced herself to think about something else... except nothing came. There was nothing except the 'what if's' that she could find no way to keep away from her.

_Things didn't have to be this way._

That much was clear. There was no way that things could have been this way. _Why couldn't we just have a happy life? Why did we have to be targeted like this? Why..._ The harsh, angry thoughts flowed from the resent in her mind like a downhill stream. _Why couldn't people be happy with the fact that Claire, Hope, and Snow saved Cocoon and gone on with their lives?_

There were no answers to the bitter questions, not that Serah had expect any. She set her gaze on her sister's back again, watching the blue light play with the lighting of her blush coloured hair as she walked

_You deserved so much better than this, Claire. _

A happy chirping interrupted her morose thoughts as she heard a wild flapping of small wings beating behind her in the dim light. Her sister turned the same moment as she did, watching a familiar small yellow fuzzball grow larger in the darkness, cheeping madly in the gloom.

* * *

><p>Hope's feet crunched through the frosty snow as he and Sazh made their way to the entrance of the Ice Cliff Palace, following the footsteps that stood out starkly in the pink tinged drifts of early morning. He spared one glance up, watching the stars and indigo sky quickly fading, as if the heat of the sun was chasing them away. <em>Light... I really hope you're okay.<em>

She wouldn't have abandoned him, that much he knew. She didn't give up unless there was no hope left and there would be none that could be found. If there was even a slim chance she thought she could have saved him, she would have. _I have to believe that._ It was better than the alternative, and he _could not _let himself think of the alternative.

A cold breeze blew through the snowbanks, sending handfuls of white powder spinning into the air, locked in a celestial dance with the wind, reflecting the rosy hue of the rising sun. The sight was familiar, but it would be a few heartbeats before Hope could place it. _Just like... They look like the crystal dust in Oerba._ The first time they'd all gone for Lightning.

The thought, along with the sudden drop in temperature with the wind that was picking up, made him shiver, and he felt Sazh place a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You cold, kid?"

Hope shrugged, but in truth, he was glad for the attention. It made him feel protected, loved, like the kid he still wished he could be. "Kind of." He rubbed his neck; the skin felt strangely exposed without the teal piece of cloth. "Your chocobo stole my scarf," he complained.

The older man laughed. "Guess the little thing was a little _too_ excited to see you. Speaking of the featherball... where _is_ it?"

Now that Sazh had mentioned it, Hope hadn't seen the yellow chocobo in awhile, not since it had taken his scarf and flapped away with it, the teal cloth dangling awkwardly between its small talons. They'd been walking for awhile, and it hadn't come back. He wasn't too worried about the chocobo though; Hope knew perfectly well the little bird was smarter than it looked, and whatever Snow wanted to believe about it. The only thing was that it _was_ a little cold without his scarf, but he pushed the thought from his mind. _Now... is not the time to be thinking like a kid._

The deep blue sculptures of the Ice Cliff Palace rose in front of them in the morning light, the beryl glass tinted a pale pink in the dawn as they all stopped at the lip of the small crater that led down to it. Hope could see a dark, rectangular entrance into the shrine, and immediately, he knew that the name 'Palace' was a misnomer. There was no structure above ground apart from the glass creatures that stood guard over its underground entrance.  
>There were murmurings in the soldiers that stood behind them as Hope began carefully making his way down the slippery slope, closely followed by Sazh.<p>

There was an eerie whistling that came from the stone entrance, but he couldn't see anything in the gloom.

"Doesn't this place give you the creeps," he heard Sazh mutter behind him. "It looks as damp as a marsh in there... my old bones can't take much of that..." The older man continued to muse to himself about his back and developing arthritis, and even in their current situation, Hope had to suppress a smile. That was what he liked and admired about Sazh - the older man saw the brighter aspects of all situations.

The sound of a thousand glass planes shattering and hitting the floor one by one came from the tunnel in front of them like a cacophony of sounds. Hope took off running, several soldiers running behind him as Sazh spluttered about leaving elders behind. He could hear, strangely, each piece of glass hit the ground, as Hope took off in the direction of the sound.

Dim light gave way to a flickering blue atmosphere as they burst into a large chamber twisted and embellished with the same glass planes, formed into shapes and creatures that Hope had no name for. The same blue as the glass outside, this time they weren't touched with pink, but stained a deep blue that reminded him of twilight and night clouds partially lit by the moon. There were two paths that twisted into the darkness, but it was impossible to tell which one led to the sound of glass.

Hope could only hear his own breathing, short and erratic, in the dim light as he tried to discern where the sound had come from. There were only two paths, but if they happened to pick the wrong one it would only be a giant waste of time. There was no sign that Lightning had been here, no sign of where they had gone.

He'd just been about to ask Sazh for his opinion of an idea when the second, ear splitting crash of glass hit his eardrums, echoing from his left.

* * *

><p>The small chocobo chick chirped happily in Serah's palm, clearly very pleased with itself as its beady black eyes blinked contentedly up at her. It had deposited its parcel of the length of teal cloth in her sister's hands before it had flapped to her, pecking at the small glass bead she wore on a black elastic around her left wrist.<p>

At first, neither of them had gotten the implication of the teal scarf that the chocobo had given to Lightning until her sister's hands closed around it so fast Serah saw it crumple in her strong grip, the white and black patterns on the blue green cloth distorting under her fingers. Her expression had been unreadable, and the seconds had stretched into long, uninterrupted moments as her sister stared at the neckerchief in her hands.

"He's... okay?" Her voice had been hushed and hoarse as she looked up, finally, at the small chocobo nestled in Serah's hands, as if she expected the bird to speak to her. The chick had bounced happily at the two words as it flapped its wings excitedly, making happy _kweh kweh!_ sounds.

Serah felt the unmistakable relief rise like a swelling balloon in her chest as the chocobo confirmed the hoarse, unsure question that her sister had voiced. _Hope's really... okay?_ The chocobo was clearly ecstatic as it bounced happily, blinking its eyes in a proud way in her hands. Hope had to be. The chocobo chick knew more than it acted like it did. She'd heard the story, of how the chick had flown back to Vallis Media to warn her sister on their journey about Hope's brand. It wouldn't lie if Hope was gone.

She heard a sigh of something like relief come from her sister's direction. Her sister was holding the scarf tightly in her left hand, her right pressed against the back of her mouth as she leaned back against the glass wall of the hallway, her blue eyes full of uncharacteristic emotion that strangely, Serah couldn't read. Moving close to her, Serah pressed her shoulders against her sister's, her hand finding the black sleeve on Lightning's left arm and holding it.

"He's alright... Claire..."

There was no reply, but this time, Serah didn't press her for one. She would leave her to figure out her feelings for herself.

For the moment, Serah could just let herself enjoy and relish the realization that Hope was okay, that her sister was going to be okay. The small piece of cloth had brought them more empowerment than any of supports could bring in battle - the scarf was worth about a thousand Braverys and Faiths. For the first time that day, she let a smile not hampered by pain and despair warm her own feelings as it spread slowly on her lips. She held the chocobo chick close; it had done more for them than it realized.

The tired, happy chirp was its response to her attention as Serah smiled down at it.

"You're a lifesaver. You really are. I hate to think of what might be of us if Sazh didn't buy you at Euride Gorge." The chick flapped its wings again, nestling down into a yellow ball of fluff in her hands.

"Come on." Her sister's voice broke into her thoughts, and Serah looked up. She still looked as impassive as ever, but there was a spark of _something_ in her eyes that hadn't been there this morning.

"Aren't you going to wait for him?"

And for the first time in a long time, Serah saw a small smile twitch at her sister's lips. "No. If he's alive... he'll find us. I know it." The brief smile was gone as fast as it appeared, but she'd seen it. Seen that underneath the soldier and the cold exterior, there was perhaps a small vestige of 'Claire' that still existed. Serah didn't question it as she set off down the twisting glass hallway behind her sister.

_Hope... I knew, somehow, that you'd be able to find 'Claire'. Even now, when you're so far away from her, you can make her smile. _

* * *

><p>The air was steadily growing colder the further they went, but Serah was no longer scared. If her sister was going to be okay, then there was no longer anything to be scared <em>of.<em> Maybe it was naive of her to think this way, but when there was nothing tormenting her sister, there was nothing she wouldn't fight.

_We're really going to be alright... aren't we?_

There was no reason they wouldn't be. They'd taken everything that had been thrown at them, every harmful thing that had been tossed in their direction, and they were alive to show it. There was only one more crystal, and if they could get their hands on it before Yorun then they at least had a better chance of winning, didn't they?

Serah had never let herself believe otherwise, but with what had almost happened to Hope, that confidence had been shaken, and for the first time, she'd wondered and questioned their fight. Watching her sister stride purposefully in front of her, Serah thanked, once again, the Maker for having mercy on them. _For saving Hope... and for giving her the purpose she needed. _

Without realizing it, Serah bumped into her sister's right shoulder, having not seen that she'd stopped. Beyond her was a deep blue steel door, set almost inconspicuously into the end of the maze of glass panes.

"You ready?" Lightning asked her quietly. Serah noted that she'd stuffed the teal scarf away in her gunblade case; her omega weapon was out. She nodded, as her sister pushed open the door with a shove of her shoulder.

The centuries old door opened none-too-gently and she winced at the loud, long creak as rusty hinges and nails struggled to move past each other without jamming. The door only opened so far before the rust stuck it in its place, but it was enough to let them slip through.

The world beyond the door was light, lined with the first signs of its namesake. Ice pillars melded almost perfectly with concrete columns, forming a long open room that led to only one thing: a pedestal with a small blue green jewel sitting innocently at its centre, glistening as it reflected off the light transmitted by the ice statues. The smooth marble floor amplified their footsteps as Serah followed her sister slowly to the other end of the room, hands clutched together at the centre of her chest. Her breath crystallized in front of her, and Serah couldn't control the small shivers that threaded through her body. They had to be very far underground and yet, the enormous shafts of ice still spread enough light from the above world for them to see.

They had just crossed the halfway point in the hallway when the door slowly eased shut behind them, causing Lightning to turn with an angry and surprised hiss. Serah didn't even have time to react in any other way before a cold voice washed over both of them, and she backed away until her back met the crook of her sister's elbow.

"I've been waiting for you."

* * *

><p>Snow punched aside the seventh clone that came at him, sending the figure crashing into the glass, shattering it. He didn't mind if the large glass pieces pierced the body, dealing it more injuries than it already had. <em>The more the better.<em> In the seemingly endless wave of enemies, he'd wondered, briefly, if Lightning and Serah were having the same issues down on their path. The path he'd taken got more and more circular, until he'd arrived at a dead end in the centre of a maze of swirling glass hallways. That was when the enemies had appeared, and all hell had quite literally broken loose.

Sinking his foot into the face of another, Snow had to wonder just how many clones Yorun had managed to procure in such a short time. _We just took out Maker knows how many of these creeps yesterday... the bastard got a factory somewhere or something?_ The fighting helped with the immeasurable inner pain - doing something always did. If he couldn't deal with it, then he saved it for later, until he could. And it wasn't like the clones were much of a difficult enemy, so long as none of the scythe wielding creeps came along.

A blade barely missed his bandanna, ripping a few stray threads out of his scarf. _Speak of the devil..._ Blocking the next blow with a Steelguard, Snow sent the man flying into some of his comrades with a Aquastrike, drawing his fist back for another powerful strike as the gap he'd created suddenly closed. The large weapon clattered to the ground, making an ominous clanging noise as steel scraped against glass.

_I wonder if..._ Snow sent a Blizzaga into the air; as the ice blossom bloomed into icy spikes with very deadly petals, the spell caught several figures in its frosty embrace. Smirking despite the situation, Snow felt the adrenaline beginning to pound through his body. He'd just been about to take out the next few closing in when an Aeroga sent them into the air, followed by several quick gunshots.

"Looks like the hero could use a little help, huh?"

Snow whipped around, ocean blue eyes widening when he saw two very familiar figures standing just behind him.

"Sazh! And... _Hope?_" He could barely work the muscles in his lips around the names, and for a moment all he could do was stare at the silver haired teenager.

Hope smiled a little, seeing the surprise on his face. "Nice to see you too Snow."

He walked up to the teenager, unsure of what he was seeing was real. Snow had to rub his eyes for a few times as he looked down, almost not believing the sight beneath him. This time, Hope chuckled.

"I'm real, alright? Sazh fished me out of the lake." His tone grew serious. "Where's Light?"

_Of course._

Snow beckoned in the rough direction of the path Lightning and Serah had gone down. "Went the other way. How _did _you find us?"

Sazh laughed out loud this time. "You're not exactly the most discreet person here on Pulse_, hero. _Besides, we've got some soldier backup gunning down the rest of these creeps outside. We'll let them do the mopping up while we go find soldier girl and your wife, yeah?"

Snow gave the older man a thumbs up. "You got it."

* * *

><p>Lightning slowly pushed Serah behind her, watching as the single black wing slowly let the man's feet touch the ground. She raised her omega weapon as the man slowly walked towards them, but he didn't have a weapon and there were none of his subordinates with him. <em>That doesn't mean... <em>She knew all too well what he could do; weapon and subordinates or not, there was no way she could underestimate him.

She narrowed her eyes. The man was blocking the way out, and Lightning highly doubted that he would allow them a free run at the crystal. Why he hadn't stopped just before the altar, she didn't know, but there had to be a good reason. He'd played them like puppets the whole way long - there was no way he didn't have something planned.

"What... do you want?" she snarled quietly, raising the omega weapon to shoulder height, the gun aimed at his forehead. Slowly, he began to walk towards them, and she heard Serah gasp, her own muscles tensing the closer he got to them.

"What I want, my dear Lightning, is something you want to prevent." His voice was quiet, musing... almost as if he was_ entertained _by the fact that they were chasing him. "But of course... you wouldn't understand it."

She couldn't hold back a low growl. "What won't I understand?"

He smirked at her again. "How very pitiful your power is next to mine."

_What the hell is that kind of answer?_

He'd passed them, walking slowly towards the pedestal, black wing lifted slightly. Lightning felt the ends of the ragged black feathers brush her as he walked by - instinctively, she cringed away from it, not wanting any of those dark feathers to touch her skin. Following his movement around the room with her eyes, she heard her sister's short, accelerated breathing behind her.

Yorun stopped just in front of the steps that led up to the pedestal. "Funny how... you're not trying to stop me. Have you finally realized your efforts are fruitless?"

Lightning didn't even want to bother with a reply. "Slash and Burn," she hissed to Serah. Moving forward, she threw a Ruinga at the foot of the steps, but she didn't really expect it to hit - it was more of a distraction than it was a serious effort. She wasn't disappointed: the man moved with a flurry of feathers that threw him into the air, avoiding the spells that Serah had sent at him, as she moved forwards towards him,trying to close the gap between them . A spear materialized in his right hand, but its target wasn't her. The target was Serah, who was at least two dozen feet away from them.

"Die."

There was no way she could move as fast as the spear. "Serah, _run_!" Her scream echoed around the icy chamber, bouncing off the tall columns of ice, the tones of her voice reflected back somehow louder than she'd actually yelled.

Serah hadn't moved fast enough before the spear caught her knee, grazing a deep cut in its side as she collapsed, clutching it. The weapon speared into the ground vanished from the small crater it had created before reappearing in the man's hand. Lightning sent a Cura at her sister, breathing a sigh of relief to herself when the mint green brush of magic wiped away the evidence of the wound. She was only a few feet away from her sister when the man took aim again, a low chuckle reverberating around the room.

And this time, sudden clarity flooded every aspect of her consciousness as she saw him raise the weapon again. Serah hadn't yet gotten up from the previous attack, and just like before, just like back in the Demonsoul Tower, there _was_ no other way to save her. There had never been any doubt as to what she would do for her sister, and this time, just like before, she didn't hesitate. And this time, there was no Shiva to save them.

The spear embedded itself in her flesh just below her diaphragm - there was one brief moment that seemed to suspend time in a frozen, eternal heartbeat, before she was pinned to the ground, one hand weakly grasping the weapon that felt like it was tearing her apart. But she couldn't, couldn't wrench the weapon out of her, and it was only seconds before the hand she had raised to hold the weapon was slick with her own blood. She couldn't move - whatever had happened, she could no longer feel the lower half of her body. There was only one thing she could do, and that was to bite her own tongue and close her eyes so that she couldn't scream out loud.

"_Claire!_" Serah's hands were suddenly on her shoulders, and through the miasma of pain, Lightning _thought_ she was returning her sister's desperate grasp on her fingers. She couldn't really tell anymore; the feeling of rapidly spreading liquid warmth below her back and the cold deadness in the lower half of her body was messing with her sense of perception. "Claire, say something!"

The desperation was hard to miss, but Lightning knew the moment she opened her mouth the only thing that would come out would be a senseless, hoarse cry, and that was what Serah _did not_ want to hear. The only other conscious thought that she could process was that the only response she _could_ give was to hold on tighter, however uselessly, to her sister's hand. There was a feeling of something wet that trickled into her hair, something that caught her failing attention even through the throbbing, unrelenting agony that permeated through her upper body, aided and abetted by her own heartbeat.

"Claire, please... no!"

There was something else. A laugh? She couldn't really hear anymore, but even in her current state, Lightning could feel the gust of wind that tore at her hair. Opening her eyes was hard; it was like fighting back against gravity that would drag her to earth no matter how high she jumped. The faint, familiar outline of Yorun's Supernova attack stood out even in the dark fog that was filling her vision rapidly. It was getting harder to breathe, but even _she_ knew the implications of the attack.

"Serah... run..." Those were the only words she could rasp out before her voice caught in a moan of pain.

"No! Claire... you're always trying to protect me. You and Snow... you're always there. Always taking the blows so I don't get hurt." Her sister's voice was so soft she almost couldn't catch the gentle words through the sound of her own uneven heartbeat. There was a slight increase in the volume of Serah's voice as she continued, a determined tone entering it as she continued. "But this time... this time, Claire, it's _my _turn."

Lightning felt her sister's hand detaching itself from hers, and her own hand dropped to the floor, feeling the sticky warmth of blood under her fingertips, her body no longer able to sustain the small height that Serah had elevated her hand to. Now, there was nothing to hold onto, nothing to _stop_ her from slipping into the darkness and pain that threatened to drown her like a tidal wave.

"_Carbuncle!_"

For a moment, the entire world stood still. In the space between two weak heartbeats, she could hear the sound as the megaflare met the shield, and the sound of a hoarse cry that belonged to both a beautiful, lithe Eidolon and the tones that belonged to the one person who had been her inspiration to fight since she was able to. But there was no impact on her body, and no sound of anything else. Not even the sound of an enemy, not even the sound of a footstep.

In the dark, nightmarish images created in the consciousness that was leaving with each unsteady thump of her heart, Lightning heard one last resonance: the ringing, echoing note of a small crystal hitting the floor. In that one space between her own hoarse gasp for breath, the utter eclipse that marred out her awareness won against the overwhelming rip of agony in her abdomen, the last thought that Lightning had was that there was nothing, absolutely nothing, out there anymore. For the longest time, she thought she had died.

She wished she had.

_Just as the flowers dance, swayed by the wind,  
>and the earth is appeased by the rain;<br>This world lives by being closer together, and yet...  
>Why do people hurt each other?<br>Why are there separations?_

* * *

><p><strong>*hides under a rock behind Snow's Steelguard and hopes that no one can come after her now*<br>**


	44. Fallen Blossoms

**So hey guys... and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR, and I sincerely hope none of you are extremely angry with me at the moment. D:  
><strong>

**Once again, I begin with the love I give to my supporters: Zapper90, GCFarron (and don't even worry about it... your support has been more than enough and I appreciate it wholeheartedly), OscarMerrinoz96, Lightarcana, Crystal, and thewhitespirit. And of course, LadyAlaska, without whom I would never have found the strength to continue from last chapter.  
><strong>

**If I thought the last chapter was hard to write... this one was killer. It was so, so hard to get right... and I really hope everything sounds as I intended it to. I'll just have to keep going on the thought that it really could have been worse, that everything could have come off in a worse way. Once again, enjoy as always!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 44: Fallen Blossoms<span>

_Serah had felt the ice cold teardrop shaped crystal form in her free hand the moment the first faint photons of light began to gather in the man's hand as his single wing elevated him to far above their heads. There was nothing but icy rigid fear that seized her, freezing her to the spot, her heartbeat in her throat, fighting to get out. Her sister's grip on her other hand was so faint she could barely feel the pressure of the gloved fingers, and in the space between them, there was only blood.  
><em>

_"Serah... run..."  
><em>

_The utter fear and despondency of the words that ended in a faint groan of barely suppressed pain only fueled the energy she felt the crystal give her. "No!" The moment the syllable left her mouth, Serah knew it to be true, to be representative of how she had always been protected. The proof of those sacrifices made for her was embedded in her sister right in front of her. "Claire... you're always trying to protect me. You and Snow... you're always there. Always taking the blows so I can't get hurt." The words empowered the decision she knew she was going to make, and Serah heard her own voice grow stronger. "But this time... this time, it's _my_ turn."_

_Her fingers let go of her sister's, and Serah could even bear to look back at her as she shakily got to her feet. The hand she'd let go of dropped to the bloodstained floor - Claire wasn't even strong enough now to have the little energy it required to lower her hand down gently. Fighting the urge to scream, to cry, Serah held up the teardrop, willing for the summon inside to protect them, to protect her sister in any way possible.  
><em>

_"Carbuncle!"  
><em>

_The lithe, beautiful Eidolon burst from the small crystal just as the Supernova was launched from the man's hands, the swirl of black feathers being rapidly consumed by the flare that could have rivalled the sun. The fire hit her Eidolon, and instantly, Serah felt the strain of trying to deflect the attack affect her as well. The Eidolon was rapidly consuming her own strength, her own lifeforce, and she could feel that it was reluctant to take more from her._

_She pushed back against the intent. There was no way she could back down now, there was no way she was going to watch her sister die. As the Eidolon sapped the last of her strength from her, Serah felt its gentle fur caress her, just once, before it let out a faint cry.  
><em>

_"I'm sorry... I could not have done more." Those words were accompanied by one last small, tender brush against her skin before Serah felt an utter emptiness where her Eidolon had been before. The next moment, the flare met, weakened by the struggle they had put up, but slammed into her body just the same.  
><em>

_There was nothing to comprehend, as she felt the control of her body slipping away from her. She couldn't even feel the pain when her back hit the floor, and she couldn't hear or feel the crushing weight of stone and ice that crashed down around her. The only thing she could think of was that even now... even now, it was up to the Maker to see to that her sister would live... that she would find her own happiness.  
><em>

_There was absolutely nothing to hold onto, but yet, Serah didn't feel empty. On the contrary, she felt warm, comforted, _loved._ The weight binding her body to earth was lifted, and suddenly she felt unbearably, impossibly light. There was no darkness, and there was no light. There was only the void, and the sense that she was not alone, that she would_ never_ be alone again.__ Her fingers could have been high enough to reach up and grasp the clouds that she knew drifted lazily through the morning sky, except there was no reason to. There was only one logical thing to do._

_She let go._

* * *

><p>They'd all heard the sound that echoed through the twisting, dark hallway. The scream, the rumbling, and the shifting of earth. The unmistakable sound of combat, and Hope, seeing the sudden fear seize Snow's face, knew only too well whose scream it had been. Their footsteps couldn't run fast enough, their lungs couldn't pull air in fast enough. The silence that followed was even more frightening then if there had been the continued sounds of battle. Hope tried to keep the images from his mind, but they came anyways.<p>

The rush of images was so strong Hope had to close his eyes, but the thoughts haunting him were even clearer in the darkness of his closed lids. Serah and Lightning in some tangled, unnatural form of death, eyes shut, mouths closed. Blood. Fire. The onslaught of terrible thoughts wouldn't stop. He saw the burning, pained look in Snow's ocean blue eyes, and he could feel his inner torment in the big blond's. _They're okay... Light would never... they have to be okay... It doesn't even matter if _they_ get the crystal. They just have to be okay.  
><em>

But there was no answer, not in the winding labyrinth of glass and cerulean light, not in the furthest reaches of his own mind. The frantic chirping of something up ahead in the gloom distracted him for a few heartbeats, before Hope realized that the chirping wasn't happy or content. It was desperate and sad, and ice cold claws closed over his chest. It was suddenly hard to breathe, as the chocobo chick came into view, black eyes wild with fright for an animal that couldn't even express its emotions in words.

Apart from their footsteps, it was soundless. Soundless except the steady drip of melting ice, soundless except for the breathing that no one could control, as Hope slowly followed Snow and Sazh across the threshold of the slightly ajar door, and into a world that he couldn't even see clearly in. The conglomeration of broken concrete and splintered ice created an illusion of blue on black. There was no other colour visible, and Hope found himself growing more and more desperate as he spotted no familiar shade of petal pink in the plane of ice blue and black. There were no audible sounds of breathing apart from his own and the two people just in front of him.

"Serah! Sis!" Snow's words echoed uselessly off the shattered columns of the chamber. There was no reply.

The big blond had begun to dig, hands throwing away useless pieces of chipped concrete and marble and the fragments of ice that sprawled over the ground, his desperation obvious in trembling fingers. Sazh had gone ahead, scanning the surroundings, picking aimlessly through the debris, hoping to find what they'd come looking for. Hope couldn't bring himself to move, afraid of what he might find. Instead, his eyes just went to the floor, hoping that not looking would stop the shaking that had taken over his entire body.

There was no comfort in the bluish marble of the ground, cracked and wet from the attack and explosion that must have taken place in some form, some deadly shape that now held them all in its cruel embrace. _Light, please... You and Serah... You have to okay!_

The frantic pecking of the chocobo at his shoulder made him glance up, pushing silver hair out of his eyes as he stared, dazedly at the small yellow bird desperate for his attention.

"What...?" His own voice sounded pathetic and weak as he let the chocobo's insistent pulling of his collar lead him to somewhere near the centre of the chamber, its tiny talons landing on a large slab of concrete that was partially propped up under a splintered, collapsed ice pillar. It seemed desperate that he looked there. With nothing better to do, Hope shoved his gloved hands under the large slab of concrete, and began to push.

It was immediately obvious it wasn't going to move easily, and he was already feeling the strain in his arm muscles. Fingers finding no purchase on the concrete, he could only move it a couple of inches into the air, but suddenly, strong hands helped his, flipping the concrete over and sending it crashing on its other side, sending a split that spread up the unbroken plane of concrete and a crack that might have been the world breaking apart.

It might as well have been.

There was nothing else that could have prepared Hope for the sight, not the premonitions in the hallway, not the frantic warning sounds of the small chocobo chick that immediately flew to her side, pecking at pale skin unstoppably, like it could wake her up. Lightning.

Hope almost couldn't continue to look. He wanted to run, wanted to run to the furthest places of Gran Pulse and never remember what he saw in front of him. A spear embedded in her body just below the leather clasp that held the sleeveless white overcoat tight to her form, her bloodstained right hand just above the part where it protruded from her body, grasping the weapon that pinned her to the floor. Her other hand lay lifelessly at her side, fingers touching the pool of blood that was still slowly spreading.

Rough hands shook his shoulders. "What are you waiting for? _Do_ something! Cure her!" Sazh's rough voice seemed so far away Hope didn't know how to respond to it.

"I-I can't..." The broken, pained whisper that did leave his lips sounded like it belonged to someone else. Someone else who couldn't feel pain and fear that were the only parts of him that existed and would continue to exist. "The spear... it's the only reason she hasn't bled to death... I can't heal her if it's still there..." He hated how useless he was at the moment, unable to help, only able to watch her suffer.

His hands unconsciously found her loose one, pulling it from the floor, her fingers limp in his. "Light... Light, wake up!"

He might as well have been begging a statue to come to life.

She was impossibly cold, and she didn't fight his grip. Pink hair stained with both blood and sweat were plastered to her forehead and temples, the long loose locks over her left shoulder tangled and matted. Hope could feel her weak, irregular heartbeat and he could hear her laboured, almost inaudible gasps for breath as she fought the blood loss and who knew what the weapon was doing to her internally. The sound of fading footsteps seemed so distant, so far away, that Sazh's words didn't even recognize in his mind until several moments later. Those moments could have been an eternity.

"Hope! Make sure she doesn't lose any more blood! I'll get help, you kids stay put!"

_How am I supposed to help her?_

There was only one thing he could do at the moment, and that was to hold her hand, however cold and lifeless it was. He could only watch her bleed to death in front of him, and there was nothing he could do about it.

_Light... I'm sorry I'm so pathetic. I-  
><em>

His thoughts were accentuated by a wild cry of rage and grief from the other side of the room.

* * *

><p>Snow buried his hands into the cold, wet dirt, his fists finding no relief in the sloshy, squelching mud that rose between the spaces of his fingers. The grass had been pushed away, leaving only bare, unyielding dirt in the rain that showed no sign of stopping. Pale pink cherry blossom petals drifted down beside him, unable to bear the unrelenting pressure of the heavy rain that the heavens poured down, unable to even hold their delicate, beautiful shape as the rain dashed the pink and white patterns of their petals apart, leaving only the ruined, shredded blossoms in its wake.<p>

She was gone.

His princess, the one point of his life that had gone right for him. Just like that, she'd been torn away from him. The one who was his, the one who would have forever _been_ his until the end of time. She was never coming back.

She'd been with him only a few short hours before it had happened, felt her hair in his hands, her lips on his... and her unwavering, innocent smile that could have lit up the world. No matter how different they had been, imperfect as they had been for each other, they'd been together. Together in a way that only one thing could have split them apart, and Snow had never dreamed that that moment would come so prematurely, so discordantly.

And he hadn't been with her when it happened.

The feel of his hands on her face, just when he had uncovered her still, unmoving form, fingers held around the cracked, bloodstained teardrop shaped crystal. Her limp, lifeless form, white sweeper and pink skirt stained with nothing but the concrete dust that covered the room. And for a moment, one foolishly naive moment, he'd thought she was okay. No further blood marred her pale skin, nothing was in her body.

But she hadn't been breathing, and there was no heartbeat.

The moment that that had fallen onto his consciousness was when Snow had snapped, shouting out his pain like a wounded animal. She'd been torn from his life in an irrevocable way, in a way he'd never be able to pull her back from. He'd never believed she was gone... not even when she had been a crystal, locked away in crystal stasis dreams. He'd always believed then, that somehow, she'd be able to come back. That one day, they'd be reunited, laughing and hugging in each others' arms.

And this time, that vivid, carefree fantasy had been torn away like the cherry blossoms that were ripped away from the branches of the tree by the rain. Snow found that the cherry tree he'd chosen for her was, in many, cruel ways, was the metaphor for what they were... what they had been.

He'd been the trunk and branches of the tree: wide, rough, and unsculpted and unrefined, but he held up the tree. He was the support. She'd been the beautiful, delicate blossoms that bloomed in the springtime and blazed into red, graceful leaves into the summer. The beauty, the point of attention of the tree. Inseparable and interdependent, they had supported each other. The flowers couldn't bloom without the tree, and the tree couldn't live without its blossoms and leaves. The rain that stripped the branches bare, suddenly and irreversibly, was the moment she'd slipped away from him; he couldn't stop or control it.

Just like the tree, they couldn't survive without one another, and now the fact that the flowers were gone, never to return to the branches that they'd originated from, Snow didn't see the point in going on. The only thing that kept him up was his desire to avenge her death, and even now, as he knelt, bowed, before _her_ tree, even that evaporated away, leaving only the empty, broken shell that was all he had left.

Bringing his eyes up to look at the last few blooms that had managed to hang on in the rising storm, Snow found his thoughts drifting back to when they'd met, back when there was nothing in the world to care about but them.

* * *

><p><em>A laughing pink haired girl on the beach, next to Lebreau's café as he took a sip of his coffee. She was laughing with several friends as they chatted about graduation and university in Eden, and Snow huffed to himself. He'd never taken education seriously, having dropped out of formal schooling after high school. He never saw the point in memorizing useless facts and doing math problems one would never use in real life. And who needed to know how to spell the word 'efflorescence' properly? It wasn't like it would come up in an actual conversation between normal people.<br>_

_"Happy little things, aren't they, Snow?" Lebreau joked with him as she wiped the counter, keeping an eye on several drinks she was making in the back.  
><em>

_"Yeah, you bet," he muttered back. "School, university, who cares? All I need to know is how to beat up monsters for NORA's next field adventure."  
><em>

_"Ha!" she laughed at him. "Still going on about the whole 'hero' thing, I see. Why don't you get yourself a decent job and settle down with a girlfriend, o wise leader? You're handsome enough to score yourself a pretty one, and I'll bet my _café_ that those uniforms up at the GC BSR are getting pissed at you."  
><em>

_He just laughed back. "Who are you kidding? Those uniforms up there love us. Even their commander, Amodar, is proud of what we do." He gave her a thumbs up. "You'll see. This hero thing isn't an act."_

_She waggled a finger in his face. "_Really_ now. What are you hoping to do, save a damsel in distress and hope she falls in love with you?"  
><em>

_"As a matter of fact... Don't I wish I could," he chuckled back, rearranging the bandanna on his blond hair, retying the black cloth at the back. She slapped the wet dishcloth in his face, and pointed behind him.  
><em>

_"Here's your chance, hero. Looks like those kids are in a bind."  
><em>

_She hadn't been lying. The girls he'd seen laughing on the beachside were now running away from what he could see was a stray monster. Snow didn't even pause to consider why there was a monster on the beach - sometimes one was stupid and hungry enough to wander to someplace where there was lots of human inhabitants, and the garbage cans on the beach provided the perfect monster lunch for one hungry enough to risk getting shot at by soldiers.  
><em>

_The masses on the beach were now rapidly moving away from the single Bloodfang Bass as it snapped at bare legs and dropped bits of food. The pink haired one had twisted her ankle, it seemed, in the uneven sand, and the monster was quickly gaining ground on her. She let out a terrified scream, but no one came to her aid.  
><em>

_"Idiots," Snow cursed as he rushed towards her, fists raised. He met the feral creature right in the abdomen, sending it flying into the sand dunes with a squeal. He turned to the pinkette behind him. "Hurry up, get going and run!"  
><em>

_She cast him one terrified glance before struggling to her feet and limping slowly away towards the walkway at the edge of the beach. Snow beat down the bass as it attempted to close its overly large jaws on his foot, and kicked it away. The monster struggled to rise, finally staggering towards him at another attempt to close its jaws around him. Snow sent it on its way with one punch that upended it; it twitched a couple of times before finally falling still.  
><em>

_Cracking his knuckles, Snow threaded his way through the throng of people congratulating and praising him, brushing off the compliments like they were no more than dust on his velocycle. When the mass of people had finally gone home, and the orange light of Phoenix was low on the horizon, did he see that the girl he'd saved was still there, standing awkwardly in front of Lebreau's _café_, waiting for him.  
><em>

_She looked down at her hands the moment he approached her. "You okay?" he asked quietly, and he felt something like relief and warmth pressure his chest when she nodded. That was unusual - he saved people on an almost daily basis, but this was the first time he'd felt something other than pride fill him.  
><em>

_"Thank you," he heard her murmur quietly, still not looking up.  
><em>

_Snow laughed, patting the back of his bandanna. "Ah ah... it's a hero's _job_ to be looking after people. No need for thanks."_

_For the first time since the monster had appeared, he saw her smile, and her blue eyes twinkle with amusement. And for the second time that evening, Snow felt something stir in his chest. "Really?" she asked curiously. "Is that what you do? Be a hero?"  
><em>

_He thumped himself proudly on his chest. "Snow Villiers, NORA leader, at your service."  
><em>

_She looked skeptical the moment he mentioned NORA, and he narrowed his eyes at her. "What?"  
><em>

_Looking embarrassed, she hid her hands behind her back as she shyly looked away. "Well, my sister says NORA is a bunch of kids swinging overpriced toys and think they can do what the military does with no training."  
><em>

_He bent down to her eye level, causing her to back away several steps. "Oh really now? And who might this sister of yours be?"  
><em>

_She looked defensive the moment he mentioned her sister. "Don't talk about her like that," she snapped, the harsh tones sounding odd in her bellchime voice. Snow patted his bandanna again as he chuckled.  
><em>

_"Alright, alright..." He stood up to his full height again. "But you know... listening to hearsay doesn't help you form your own opinions."  
><em>

_"I know," she admitted sheepishly. "But thank you again... for saving my life."  
><em>

_"Don't mention it."  
><em>

_He met her hesitant sky blue eyes. "Is there... anything I can do to repay you?"  
><em>

_"Nope." He brushed off the offer offhandedly. "Well... actually, there is. Can you tell me your name?"  
><em>

_She looked surprised, then embarrassed, at the question. "I didn't introduce myself, did I? I'm sorry!" There was a pause. "I'm Serah. Serah Farron." She turned, her pink ponytail draping over her back again at the movement. "Sorry, I have to get home... My sister will be worried if I'm not home before dark, and who knows what she'll do when that happens?"  
><em>

_He laughed again, admiring her quick wit. "Alright then, Serah. See ya sometime again."  
><em>

_Her smile was infectious. "Yeah. I'll see you around... Snow."  
><em>

_Snow watched her leave, pink hair touched to a golden softness by the dying light of the fal'Cie, her white shirt and half transparent sweeper somehow standing out in the quickly falling dusk. For some reason, he was sad to see her go.  
><em>

_"Serah... Farron, huh?"_

* * *

><p>The happy memory was so vivid, so powerfully strong, that there was no way he could think about it without feeling the stab of pain and grief that threatened to tear him apart. She'd been the light to his darkness, the coexistence to interdependence, that he couldn't think of a life, or a time, without her.<p>

That was how utterly she had changed him, how utterly she had changed his life. The wet raindrops falling on his face, soaking his clothes, were immaterial to the inner storm that raged inside.

He would never hear her laugh again.

He would never hold her hands, kiss her, enjoy their moments together ever again. It felt like the strings that held him to happiness, held him to the centre of the world, had been severed in one simple snip of a pair of scissors he didn't have the strength to hold back. And when those bonds were gone... what was he? Broken off from the very fixture of his life, the sun that his life revolved around, what would he become? Snow found that he was terrified by the fact.

_She wouldn't want you to give up. Even now. _

He knew that! Snow knew that as well as anyone did that there was no going back now. Even if she was gone, even if she no longer existed in this world, that Serah wouldn't have wanted them to stop trying in the face of adversity. That was the one thing he had left to keep him standing up, and keeping him moving forward. She would have wanted them to end this, and he was going to do right by that.

But even then... Snow found his thoughts wandering back to the moment he'd found her. That she had summoned Carbuncle to block an attack was obvious... that Lightning had had something to do with it, that was obvious too. Through the dim lenses he had viewed the events after he'd held Serah's limp body to his, he'd seen Hope on the other side of the room, holding what he could only assume at the time was Lightning's hand. It was only when Sazh led the soldiers into the room, and slowly pulled her up did he see what, exactly.

Even in his grief, he'd had to close his eyes at the sight of the spear pushed through her body, at the nightmarish red that stained the shaft of the weapon left in her abdomen. They'd tried taking Serah away from him as well, but they hadn't argued with him when he held her to him, hand stroking the pink hair on her rapidly cooling body. He'd refused to let go even when the warmth had faded from her limp form.

The only, and the last time, he'd let go of her was when they'd dug the grave in the back of their house in New Bodhum. Snow had let her fall from his frozen, numb fingertips into the earth, and he'd had to turn away when they had covered it over. The only moment that he'd felt something other than the flat, all consuming despair was when the tree he'd picked for her grave had its roots firmly embedded into the soil, its delicate blossoms reaching into the air even in the weak sunlight that had shone over the expanse of grass behind their house. It had only been a few days since the tree had been planted, and already, the elements were tearing it apart. Just like him, the tree was helpless to resist.

And now, even that was ruined in the face of the relentless rain that pounded to earth, raising earthy scents into the late spring air, wreathing around him like a shroud. The only thing Snow could smell was the balm of the fallen petals, their musky sweetness staining the air around him. It only served to remind him of her, as her name finally tore from his lips, his tears finally mixing with the drops from the sky that seemed to grieve with him.

"Serah..."

He had to know. He had to know how she had died. The thoughts would only haunt his dreams if he didn't, and though the thinking, cognitive part, of him screamed at him for being stupid, idiotic, and unforgiving, he had already made up his mind to ask Lightning... the moment she woke up. The hospital had been sketchy on the details of her condition, finally prompting Hope to go to the place himself after a few silent and empty lifeless days, but Snow was fairly sure she was alive... The rational part of him warned him not to press her, but the overwhelming desire to know, despite the pain he knew it would inflict on him, was winning.

Maybe he was a masochist, wanting to inflict more pain on the heart that felt like it could stop beating at any second, against the fragile exterior he was maintaining that could break at any moment, but he had to know. _Otherwise... I'll never stop thinking about how I should have never let her out of my sight._ It didn't even occur to him how much pain he might... no, _would_ be inflicting on _her_ for asking... for asking her to remember.

The pager rang in the pocket of his coat, and Snow didn't even look at the caller ID before holding the wireless up to his ear.

"Come to the hospital." It was Hope, his voice as flat and dead as Snow felt. "They're... they're going to wake her up."

Snow cast one last glance at the tree that stood all alone in the expanse of the verdant Gran Pulse landscape, its last few blossoms clinging haphazardly, and yet, determinedly, to the slender branches, waving in the strong wind that accompanied the rainshower.

_Serah... I'll always love you. Even now. Until we're together again. Wait for me... alright?_

* * *

><p>Blackness was more welcoming than the empty, quiet world that seemed too small to contain her as she found herself being dragged into consciousness. Even the drug induced sleep, even the anesthetics and the morphine that were still flooding through her body was better than waking up. Lightning found herself wishing they would keep her under sedation for the rest of her life. Things were easier that way.<p>

But even with the drugs, there was no escaping the present, the overwhelming emptiness and pain that pressed down on every inch of her body... pain that had nothing to do with the wound in her abdomen. Pain that had nothing to do with the dead, empty feeling below her waist. She would have willingly taken ten, a hundred, a _thousand_ more spears to her body if it meant it would help her swallow the impossibly empty anguish that crowded her mind. In the moments it took for her to comprehend that pain, Lightning wished, utterly, for them to just give her a drug overdose that would kill her. It would be easier to die than to accept what lay before her.

She didn't want to comprehend the thoughts and images crowding her brain, the intuition that ripped so plaintively at the very inner of her fragile interior. And try as she might, there was no going back, no denying what she already knew to be true. The wings that had been ready to spread, gently, tentatively, had been snapped, leaving her with less than she'd had before, because this time, she knew there was no way to get them back, no way to recreate what had been eradicated in just a few heartbeats something that had taken her her life to contrive, to appreciate.

Serah was gone.

* * *

><p><strong>I want to hide under a rock again this time... but I know I owe you all an explanation. So, I'm just going to go ahead and give it to you, whether or not it creates more hate than I'm probably already going to get.<br>**

**Serah was always meant to die. I knew it the moment I wrote Chapter 8, the very first chapter of the 'main storyline'. There was never anything else that was considered, and I knew that. That's why it broke my heart when so many of you complimented her - I knew she was going to leave. Maybe I made it a little obvious with the line I used back in Chapter 31, but for those who didn't get it, here is the explanation:  
><strong>

**The line I used was Cait Sith's line to Cloud, upon arriving at the Gold Saucer in FFVII. Like Lightning, there were two people in FFVII that well, I suppose you could say, were people he cared greatly about (and I'm not even going to get into the LTD right now, just goddamn accept that he cared for both of them!). And just like Serah, who died protecting her sister, Aerith, one of the people I mentioned in the previous sentence, was killed when she was casting the spell that would save the world. That's why I used the line "What you pursue will be yours... but you will lose something dear.", because it mirrored my intent, and it mirrored what I always imagined Serah would do. Character death is never easy to write, especially when you're very attached to a character you've worked hard to develop, and this is in no way an exception; these last two chapters were _immensely_ hard to get right, but it was always meant to end like this... for Serah, at least.  
><strong>

**And in more than one way, she has truly been my Aerith Gainsborough.  
><strong>


	45. Daybreak's Bell

**So hey guys, and thanks again for tuning into the next chapter of NR! **

**Once again, my love for my reviewers is eternal: Crystal, Pilaris (well... I knew it wasn't going to be a perfect ending, but then again, I don't think the ending planned is 'sad' in the sense of the word, so, well...), Zapper90, GCFarron(thanks, I'll look into that!), OscarMerrinoz96, That one Reviewee (and thank you very much for the compliments/critique!), Lightarcana, thewhitespirit, SquallRocks (awh, yeah... I didn't like Aerith much either, but her death, well... I don't think I've felt depressed for a video game before that), and Mylaervain (no worries, sometimes I feel the same way). And of course, LadyAlaska; you're my muse as always. I don't think I could have made it without all your support.**

**I know... I know, Serah's death was... *sighs* It was meant to happen, but I felt just as heartbroken writing it as you guys probably spent reading it. It took me a good hour... at least, to get her segment right. Snow's segments felt more natural, like I was already 'into his mindframe', but Light's segment at the end there just about killed me. And if I thought last chapter was difficult... I have no words for how long I struggled with this one. I can only hope that it could have been worse, but this was probably the hardest chapter to write _yet._ But I do hope you guys enjoy as usual, and once again, thank you all for your support!**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 45: Daybreak's Bell<span>

The unrelenting rain didn't stop as his feet as Snow pushed his tired, empty body through the streets of Bodhum, past caring about the childish, silvery laughs that surrounded him. _Of course... to them, it's just another day._ But for him, he felt like he could never have the strength to smile again. There was no way he could ever feel that happy again. His hand stuffed nonchalantly into the pockets of his coat, Snow found that he was trying to hide his presence from the rest of the populace... like he was ashamed. _No... I'm not ashamed. I would _never_ be ashamed of her, of what we had. _He was ashamed of his own failure to protect her.

Splashed water from puddles that landed on his boots meant nothing. The drops of water that splattered on him were immaterial. Once upon a time, he might have cared, might have rebuked the children that played carelessly in the streets. But today, he couldn't even begin to feel the pricklings of irritation that might have come on a normal day, except... there would never be 'normal' again. Not without her. Not when he envied their carefree happiness so much.

His feet scuffled on the stone cement buildings that led up to the hospital, his eyes travelling listlessly over the pale grey stone that made up its main building. His eyes caught a familiar flash of silver hair and a teal scarf: Hope was waiting for him, hands held limply at his sides, eyes despondent and tired.

"Hey." Snow's own voice was flat, and he realized it was because he didn't want to let it tremor, that he didn't want to let the weakness show. The teenager's head bobbed once in response, and when Hope responded, Snow noted that his voice was just as lifeless as his own.

"I think... she's awake." There wasn't really anything else to be said, as Hope turned back, trudging tiredly up the rest of the way to the entrance. Like himself, the teenager seemed weighed down not by anything physical, but mental and emotional burdens that threatened to crush them all beneath its deadly substance.

The bustle of the main hospital, with the bright light and happy families that led their children through the halls... even that made Snow want to cry out and beat his fists on the floor, tangled in a web of cruel fate that none of them could break away from. The flowers, the balloons, the 'get well soon' cards emblazoned everywhere just made him want to crush them beneath his hands. _She'll never be... 'well' again._ Selfish and naive the thought was, all he could think about was how these people could be happy in a world were Serah no longer existed in. And as conceited as he felt when he thought about it, Snow couldn't see why...

_Why couldn't we just be left alone? Wasn't saving the world enough? Is tearing away everything that meant something in my life a reward? _

There was no response, and Snow knew he would never find an answer that would satisfy him. He would never find an answer that would fill the empty void that she'd left. He could go on searching forever and never find an end to the questions that tormented him, never find an answer to the labyrinth that revolved around him.

The only thing to do was to go forward, keep putting one foot in front of the other. Life went on, even if she was no longer here. That she would have wanted him to be happy was a given... even without her. Even if his whole world was breaking around him, he knew she would want him to pick up the pieces, to recreate the beauty that it had once held. And he would... for her, if not for himself.

The steps upwards seemed so long and so draining that Snow was out of breath when he finally stopped behind Hope on the landing of the third floor, as the teenager pushed open a door that led to the hallway. The smell of antiseptics and medication instantly assaulted his senses, overpowering all other smells from his nose. The hallway was eerily quiet - there were no doctors or nurses in sight from where he was standing as he slowly followed Hope down the corridor, his footsteps echoing too loudly to be discreet.

_"You should learn to step more quietly."_ Serah's playful, gentle memory rebuke hurt so much he wanted to stop then and there, and run away until his sorrows were whipped away by the wind that could never stop blowing. Her blithe, elfin form as she danced in front of him, smiling beautifully at the look on his face. There were never any less reminders to what was gone, and Snow pulled a big hand across his face, fingers lingering on the blond stubble of his chin when he stopped behind Hope, his thoughts and movements aimless and purposeless. The silver haired teenager had been stopped by a nurse in pale lavender scrubs outside a door, and the woman grudgingly stepped aside when the boy showed her something he held in his hand.

A small gesture from him prompted Snow to follow through the door, into a small, dim room, so different from the bright and open hallway that Snow felt he didn't belong in all the worse ways possible. There was only ominous silence in the room, and he could see the heavy cloth curtains pulled over the large windows at the end of the room, the room devoid of anything else. Finding no other purpose to be here, Snow found himself leaning against the side of the wall, hands useless at his sides, as he tried not to look at the sight in front of him.

If he thought he looked bad at the end of the week since Serah's death... he didn't know what Lightning looked like. Still under the sleep of what he knew were sedatives, she looked like someone had dragged her dead body across a battlefield. Even in sleep, half propped up against the semi raised bed, there were dark shadows highlighting each prominent feature on her face, and she was so pale she might as well have been dead. Even from here, he could see the restraints pulled across her middle, stopping any large movements she might have made if she so happened to wake up. And suddenly, Snow found himself struggling to swallow.

Hope had gone to sit by her side, gently pulling the one hand that wasn't threaded with IV's up into his own. "Light?" The name was soft, tentative. "Light... wake up. Please?"

There were a few minutes of utter silence that no one had the strength to fill, before Snow finally saw her blue eyes open, wearily, hesitantly, and instantly, Snow knew that the look in her eyes was mirrored in his.

* * *

><p>She hadn't wanted to wake up... she hadn't wanted to be dragged back into the reality she could no longer accept. But in the end, the warmth on the fingers she thought would never feel anything but cold had won against the drugs in her system, the pain that wracked her upper body... the pain that didn't even hold a pinprick of light to the burning agony inside that felt as impossible to conquer as the sun itself. Slowly, Lightning forced herself to look at the battered, bruised forms of Hope and Snow.<p>

Snow. She didn't even want to know what she'd done to him. Whatever her own pain was... she knew that he would feel it, if not worse. The restraints that pulled her down, prevented her from moving up were useless. Even if she could move against the searing pierce of agony that pulled at every breath, she couldn't feel her legs. And even that... that didn't matter anymore.

"Light..." Hope's voice was gentle, soft, comforting, and she wanted to push it away. _You should be hating me... not trying to make me feel better._ She knew he had felt her flinch, because his grip tightened on her hand, and for the first time, she saw him as he was: a teenager, not much older than childhood, having to watch her suffer, having to watch death, over and over. _Why... does everyone who cares about me have to get hurt? Maybe that means... _

It wasn't a maybe. It wasn't something that was questionable. _Maybe that means I just don't deserve to be cared about. _

"Sis..." The nickname brought everything, every single painful reminder, down on her head, and a whimper escaped her lips at the mere thought of the implication of the name. Unable to stand against the cascade of pain, she let it crash down on on her, feeling it force its way into every single vulnerable part of her. And even then, she couldn't cry - like she was frozen in a state of endless anguish, she couldn't let it out. Her hand was wrenched from Hope's grasp in an action she couldn't control as she pressed the back of it to her mouth, pulling small, excruciating breaths past it, closing her eyes against the tears that wouldn't come.

He tried again. "Sis... how..."

The reaction was immediate. "Snow, no-!" Hope's horrified gasp at the question only made her feel more worthless than she already was.

His question brought it all rushing back: the pain of the spear pinning her to the ground, the faint outline of her sister summoning her Eidolon, and the megaflare that slammed into the ground, turning the orderly, celestial shrine into a world of broken stone and ice fragments that rained down on her head before she had finally lost consciousness. She didn't remember anything beyond that, but it didn't matter. It would have been easier if she'd died then and there. _Why didn't you run... when I told you to, Serah? Why didn't you...?_

"I-I'm sorry..." Those were the only words she could choke out, the only things she had the courage and strength to say to him, unsure of his reaction. The big man didn't say anything, carefully looking away from her as he walked to the window, his back to her. The next words cut worse than the wounds she'd already gotten.

"Why didn't you... try to save her?" The whisper was as broken as she felt.

For a moment, all Lightning could feel was how much hurt the seven words could cause. She wanted to run. Except there was nowhere to go, nowhere to escape to. There was no solace in the realm of dreams where her memories could haunt her, unhindered by reality, and there was nowhere for her to run in the waking world, if she could ever even stand again. The sudden desire to do just that, though, was overwhelming as she stopped listening to Snow's quiet, broken words. The urge to get out, to twist her pathetic existence out of reality, even if she couldn't walk, was all she could comprehend.

Even though the movement tore at the wound in her back, bringing a fresh wave of pain clawing its way up her back, she fought. Lightning tasted the bitter, metallic burn of blood at the back of her throat, but the wordless, ineffable scream was torn from her mouth anyways.

There was no way to fight back.

* * *

><p>Hope put his head down on the coarse bedsheets, his silver hair pressed close to Lightning's now prone hand lying on top of the covers. He resisted the urge to grasp it, to rub warmth back into the cold, stiff fingers, as he remembered the doctor's angry words before pushing Snow out of the room.<p>

_"She needs rest, not people who think they can barge in here and upset the patient!" _The doctor had sent a glare at Snow before continuing. _"There's still another surgery waiting for her, and... You're. Not. Helping." _The doctor had angrily slammed the door shut behind Snow's large, hulking form before turning back, watching Lightning struggle uselessly against the restraint around her middle. She was still screaming hoarsely, weakly fighting the grip Hope had clamped around one of her arms. Even _he_ could see what her weak attempts to fight were doing to the barely healed wound on her abdomen, and he was the furthest thing from a doctor.

A few terrifying, desperate moments had passed as Hope tried to calm her down, tried to get her to stop struggling, but the wild, anguished look in her blue eyes told him otherwise. She couldn't hear him and he knew any further attempts on his part would be useless - he couldn't reach her in her current mental state. The doctor had watched him for a few more seconds before Hope heard a resigned sigh, and someone else's grip tightened on her other arm. He saw the tip of the needle as it was pushed into her arm, and he watched the sedative take control of her body again. She'd stopped fighting back, and Hope felt his fingers were now curled around a thin upper arm that was no longer fighting his grip. She'd let out a gasp when the full effect of the drug hit her - her eyes closed before her body relaxed, collapsing back the few inches she'd managed to elevate her body off the bed in her desperate fight.

The doctor had given him a suspicious look, warning him not to upset her as well, or else he'd have to kick him out too. Hope had nodded in scared, silent agreement before the doctor threw him one last comment before closing the door on the darkened room.

_"Her next surgery is scheduled for three days time. Do see to it that she doesn't hurt herself again in the meantime, won't you?" _It had been a rhetorical question, and Hope had heard the lock click as they were plummeted into near darkness, leaving him alone with a now placid Lightning and his own scared, worried thoughts.

She'd snapped so utterly the moment Snow had mentioned Serah; Hope had never seen her lose control of herself like that. There hadn't even been a heartbeat between the moment when he was watching her try and contain her inner agony soundlessly, feeling her pain rip at his own heartstrings, before the question had broken the last levee of control and had sent her over some boundary into hysteria. Hearing her scream, however weakly, as she fought the damage done to her body, had made him want to run to something for comfort. He didn't want to see the woman he'd come to rely for protection, for guidance, break into a million pieces right in front of him.

It had scared him when he had realized it was _her_ he wanted to comfort him. It was her support he needed, and the duality of that desire made him cringe. _I can't... keep running to her when I want to feel safe. Especially since she's hurting right now... more than I am. _

His fingers found hers anyways, in the dim moonlight that poked past the heavy cloth of the curtains, lighting her pale skin enough for him to see it in the darkness. Devoid of the gloves that usually covered her palms, Hope found that the skin on her cold hands was surprisingly soft, and a small, familiar creep of heat made its way up his neck before he pushed it away angrily, furious with himself that he could even think about something like that right now.

Unconsciously clutching her fingers tighter, Hope found, for the first time, the burn of tears at the back of his eyes as he held her hand, her fingers draping limply over his grip. In the days since they'd come back, there had never been a time for him to sit down and try to begin to process the mess of emotions he'd somehow let himself push to the back of his mind.

He found that there was just as big a chasm in his heart when he thought about Serah. He hadn't known her like he'd known Lightning or Snow, and in the few brief months they'd lived together, there hadn't been time to get to know her _that_ well, but Lightning's younger sister had been so full of life, so full of the sunshine and the warm confidence in life that her older sister lacked, that it was impossible not to warm to her. She'd readily taken him in as another member of their family when Lightning had taken him home with her, warmly treated him as one of her sister's friends when they'd introduced him.

He still couldn't believe that she was gone. Just like that, she had been torn from all their lives in a moment of self sacrifice. Hope found his head dropping lower at the thought - none of them had been there, but he could imagine. It wasn't hard to figure out why Lightning had ended up with a spear just below her lungs, and Hope could imagine the whole scene in front of his eyes: Serah, unable to watch her sister get hurt again, summoning her Eidolon in a last ditch attempt to protect them both... only the attempt to shield had killed her.

He'd watched Snow pull her lifeless form from the ground after the soldiers and medics had torn Lightning away from him, watched them plant the cherry blossom tree that marked her eternal resting place... and even then, the tears couldn't come. It was like they were locked away from him, his mind not letting him cry. He would carry the burden of her death for a long time though - that much he knew.

The faint whimper from his own throat came when he thought about death... and how utterly it tore people apart. He'd just seen the stoic soldier that he'd known to always be in control cave under the pressure of her sister's death and how the one question from Snow had utterly pushed her over the edge.

"Light..." Her name came in the form of a guttural whisper when he held her slim, cold fingers up to his face, resting their joined hands on his cheek. "Light... I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me." Somehow, the self pity made him feel better, made him feel less useless when he looked at her. She'd needed to be sedated in order to not... _To not let her hurt herself any more. __Why didn't I stop Snow from asking..._ The list of things he could berate himself for was endless.

The doctor's final words came back to him. "_Do see to it that she doesn't hurt herself again in the meantime, won't you?" _

His left hand itched to cast a Cure on her, but he'd seen the outlines of the bandages under her gown in the desperate moments he knew that she'd been trying to escape in. Whatever the doctors had put in her, he figured it probably wouldn't be wise to interfere with. The words came out of his mouth before he realized what he was saying. "I wish... I could make you forget."

The moment the words had left his mouth, Hope regretted them, even though he knew she couldn't hear him. Serah had been the main driving force in her life... did he really want that to be taken away from her, even now? There was a slight jab of jealousy that _he_ would never be that important to her... even though he needed her just as much. What he did wish was that somehow, his magic could wipe away emotional wounds just as well as physical ones - it hurt that much more that he knew the potent power of his cure spells could never reach the mental injuries ripped into her consciousness.

He sat like that, their hands intertwined, the back of her palm pressed against his cheek, for a long time, Just how long it had been, he didn't know, but the moonlight had shifted in the sky, now poking through the partially covered windows so that stray moonbeams played with the lighting on her face and hair, pink locks twisted over her left shoulder highlighted silver in the brightness.

A small movement made him glance up - her hand moved in his, but she made no effort to wrench her fingers out of his grasp. Hope heard the scuff of skin on cloth as she moved her other hand up. He was almost too afraid to speak.

"Light?" His throat was dry, and the words almost stuck in his throat. "Are you... okay?"

She didn't reply. Instead, he heard a small choking sound come from her throat, and he could see the pale fingers of her other hand pressed against her mouth and nose. Her eyes were still closed, but he could already tell she was either struggling to breathe, or was trying to control the emotion that was threatening her again. The words came, fast and desperate, as he clutched her fingers tighter.

"Light, please, don't... Don't; they'll kick me out too..." Her blue eyes finally opened, tired and drawn, as she tried to hold his gaze. _I must sound so selfish to her... Of course the first thing I'd be worried about is having to leave her alone, while she..._

"No..." That was the only word she'd managed to say to him; her other hand was moving down to her side now, and Hope saw it wrap around her abdomen, her fingers clenching around her side. "Don't..."

_Don't... what...?_

Without realizing what he was doing, Hope pulled himself up so he was sitting on the hospital bed now, instead of the chair he hadn't left for what felt like a few hours at least. In the moment when her pained gaze met his again, he knew that he could no longer bear to see her in so much emotional torment like this anymore. The words were out before he could even begin to think about what he was saying.

"Light, stop... Don't hold it in, alright? Let it out. I'm here... I'm here to listen." There were tears in his own eyes now; even through that, he could feel the small prickle of warmth that ignited in his heart when she neither pulled away or tried to stop what he was saying. _Just maybe..._

Her small choke of a voice made him stop what he was saying, and he looked at her, panicked. But she wasn't looking back anymore, and it was a few heartbeats before Hope saw the silver streak of tears on her face. He didn't know what to do, didn't know how to respond in the face of her obvious pain. Her grip twisted in his hands, and Hope found himself reaching out, tentatively, to her again now that she had pulled away. He wanted to brush away her tears, but he was no longer sure of how she would react to the touch.

"Serah... I'm sorry. I'm sorry..." Her quiet voice, strained by tears that nearly cracked his fortitude. Slowly, she pulled herself upright into a sitting position again; her right arm still around her middle, her left hand pressed to her mouth, but she was no longer trying to stem the flow of tears. He couldn't intrude in her own private world of grief; sitting there, Hope watched her cry out the pain she'd been holding in, the pain she hadn't been able to show Snow earlier in the afternoon. _It'll be better after this... right?_

For the first time, she seemed to fully notice that he was there, that he was sitting less than a foot away from her. Slowly, he watched as she forced herself to acknowledge him, and her right hand slowly unclenched from around her middle. Hope resisted the urge to grab it and hold her fingers when she closed her eyes, a small resigned sigh escaping her lips.

"Hope..." For some reason, his own name sounded odd in her broken, pained whisper of a voice. He wanted her to say something in a voice other than that one... things would have been easier to accept if she'd shouted at him, even if she was angry at him. What he did know was that he couldn't accept _this_ Lightning, the Lightning that had utterly snapped under the pressure that life had burdened her with. He wanted to see the Lightning he knew - the one that was always strong, always in control... the person he'd looked up to. But when he looked at her now, all he could see was a young woman struggling to accept the death of her only sister. Stripped of her abrasive, independent attitude, there was only pain and the inner fragility he always knew she possessed, even though she had only let slices of that show in her rare moments of weakness.

His fingers found hers anyways, before the small, innocent touch turned into something he couldn't have foreseen. The motion that connected their hands pulled her upwards; in that moment, Hope saw the same wild, tormented look in her eyes just before the doctor had pushed her under the dreamless sleep of drugs this afternoon. And in that panicked, terrifying moment, at first he hadn't known what had triggered the reaction again, before he realized it was _him_. Whatever his face had looked like when she'd said his name... whatever it was, it had pushed her in the wrong direction again, and he couldn't even reach out to catch her before she fell as she stumbled under the pressure.

His arms wrapped around her neck before he could stop himself. Not wanting to see her utterly lose it again, not wanting to deal with the possibility that she would have to go through the next few days alone, Hope hadn't been able to help the reaction. Just like before, it was the only method of comfort he knew. At first, his heart warmed when she didn't pull away - her forehead against his shoulder, didn't struggle, and didn't succumb to the hysteria he could feel was rising again in the rapid heartbeat he could now feel. Her next words hurt more than if she'd screamed, even though they were barely audible.

"I don't... deserve to live anymore."

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><p>Sitting in the darkness of the living room, watching the moonlight creep across the wooden panels of the floor in a steady, unbroken manner, Snow gripped his hands to his knees. He couldn't remember a time he had felt worse. He didn't know what he had been expecting when he'd arrived at the hospital... and looking back, maybe it was stupid and foolish of him to expect the Lightning he knew and had come to expect. The initial scream that had torn from her lips at the end of his broken, pained question was still so clear in his mind... no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't block the sound out from his consciousness.<p>

He hadn't meant it like that, hadn't meant to hurt her like that. He hadn't expected the torn, suffering young woman lying there, unable to move. He _knew _she'd done everything she could have to save her sister - there had never, _ever_, been any doubt about that, but the question had slipped out before he could stop himself, before he had realized what he was asking her. In the moment of desperation, he hadn't even been able to stop even when Hope had warned him not to continue.

The grip on his knees was so fierce now it hurt. Hope hadn't called back... not that he'd expected one. He'd heard her continued cries even after the medical staff that had come running in the moment she'd begun to fight against the restraints holding her back had pushed him out of the room, and sternly advised him not to come back. He didn't think he could face her again at any rate.

_Serah... I've let down your sister too._

The thought was uncontrollable, and Snow found that he felt like he'd failed the postmortem task she'd wordlessly left him already. He gripped the grey cloth of his pants, trying to find something that wouldn't hurt to think about. Except there was nothing - outside of the continued, sharp pain that permeated every breath at the stark reminders that Serah was gone, all he could think about how was how they were going to keep going now. The thought left him as desolate as ever.

Finding no reprieve in the couch, Snow moved to the window, letting the moonlight and stars illuminate his gloved hands. He'd held her in them barely over a week ago... The frustrated growl slipped from his lips before the thought could even finish. _I'm never going to forget... am I? _There was nothing else to think about. There was nothing else that would distract him, as the pale pink petals in moonlight caught his eye just outside the window. His fist had drawn back, ready to punch through the glass that let him see where she rested, when the pager in the pocket of his coat buzzed again.

At first, he'd been confused - who could it be? He was quite certain it would not be Hope, and in the fog that had settled into his brain whenever his thoughts drifted back to Serah, he couldn't think of who else had the capacity to call him. His fingers raised the small thing to his ear automatically.

"Hey." There was only a brief interruption of surprise in the dull, pained monotone his emotions seemed to have settled in when he processed the voice at the other end of the line.

"Sazh." The name was a statement, a repetition of his thoughts only.

"How are you doing?" Snow wanted to shout out his irritation at the question. _What do you think I... What do you think we're all going through right now? _He stopped himself before he did something stupid again - after all, the concern in the question was genuine.

He paused before he replied, trying to balance his thoughts and emotions. "Managing." There. That was something he could say without a quavering voice, without sounding like he was 'over' Serah's death. If Sazh saw through the duality of his one word response, he didn't show it.

"Well... that's something. Listen... I know you're hurting, and I know you need some time, but... d'you think you could come over to the Corps Building? We need your help."

That was something to distract him... at least. Anything to stop hurting. "Sure," he replied quietly, trying not to let himself choke on his words.

"Thanks." There was an awkward pause. "How's soldier girl? Can you bring her?"

Just the mere mention of Lightning made him flinch. Snow found himself gripping the plastic of the mobile, unsure of how to reply. What was he supposed to say? _"Sorry, she's completely broken down so she can't be there?"_ Or _"Sorry, Sazh, I think I just made her snap, can you ask another time?" _The plastic was starting to bend under his powerful fingers, and he knew Sazh was waiting for a response.

"She's... She can't help us right now." _Not when she needs help so badly herself. _He heard something like a sigh crackle over the static of the line, and Snow hoped that the simple, ambiguous statement was enough to dissuade any further questions on Sazh's behalf... he didn't think he could stand delving into any more detail without... _Without..._

"I'm not surprised... thought I'd ask anyways. Anyways, see you in a bit." The man hung up before Snow could say something else, and for a moment, all he could do was stare at the black piece of plastic in his right hand. Pushing his hand through his hair and retying his bandanna, Snow quietly locked the front door, stepping out into the cool night air left in the aftermath of the storm that had blown itself out. In the distance, over the mountain ranges that dominated this area of Gran Pulse, he could see the first faint pink tinges of dawn begin to creep over the black outlines of rock.

Slowly, as he walked forwards, he realized that steps he had begun to take in the direction of the centre of town were hard, each step just as unsteady as the last. With nothing to create the gentler side of him, all he had left was the roughness and pain that it left behind.

The journey in front of him might have lasted forever, but he would keep going. It was the only thing he had left.

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><p><strong>Wow. I think... I think I made Sazh sound really insensitive, but I couldn't think of another way to finish off that conversation. This chapter was so, so hard to write... I think I actually had to stop and recompose myself before continuing again several times throughout. I really, really hope I got their emotions right; especially the two segments concerning Hope and Light. They were the two I struggled with the most in this chapter for sure, and I really, really hope that well, it was alright. *bites nails*<br>**

**I have other things to attend to in RL for much of the day tomorrow, so I don't think the next chapter will be up before Thursday. *looks around nervously* I do hope that this chapter cleared some of the confusion that last chapter left, and please leave love as usual; the support and encouragement from all of you keep me going.  
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**I'll see you guys soon!  
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**Hearts!  
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	46. Fleeting and Endless Sorrow

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! (:**

**Once again, I start off with my love for my supporters: That One Reviewee, Guardian of Valhalla, Pilaris (and you'll see why he gunned out for them shortly!), GCFarron, Zapper90, Lightarcana, OscarMerrinoz96, thewhitespirit, and H-thar (And omigosh, thank you SO much for your encouraging words/compliments! I just have quite a bit of free time on my hands, but admittedly, I spend like all day on a chapter... which may or may not be healthy for me)! Thank you ALL for your kind words and compliments on how I handled the emotional scenes - I've spent a lot of time recently practicing angst/emotional themes for various classes and such, and I'm glad you guys think I got it for everyone! (:  
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**Of course, hearts go to LadyAlaska, again without whom this chapter would never have been possible.  
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**Anyways, enough of my bumbling, enjoy as always!  
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><p><span>Chapter 46: Fleeting and Endless Sorrow<span>

_The white rose in her hand prickled her skin, but she refused to toss it into the grave. What was the point? There was no one left in the ground to greet it, and there was no soul waiting there to receive the grace of the flower. The skin of her palm dug into the thorns - it drew blood, but even then, she refused to let go of it. The words of the sermon washed over her, but the words meant nothing.__ What was the point of saying nice things about a dead person when they weren't even alive to hear it anymore?  
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_There was no one to deliver an eulogy, and she didn't want to. There were absolutely no words for how she felt except the icy emptiness. Someone tugged on the sleeve of her long overcoat.  
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_"Claire?" She snapped instantly at the name.  
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_"How many times... have I told you not to call me that?" She turned to stare at the forget-me-not blue eyes of her sister, clinging haphazardly to the sleeve of her grey woolen coat, her pink hair tied in a small ponytail that dangled down the left side of her head. Her sister was wearing a white dress, the colour of snow and of mourning, and the similar stems of white roses was in her hands. Serah looked down at her feet, clad in white flats._

_"But..." There was a pause, but Lightning didn't relent. "I'm sorry..."  
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_She huffed, turning away from her sister to fix her eyes on the dull brown-green winter grass and the small white flurries drifting down from the grey skies, their coldness prickling her skin every time one of the cold flakes landed on her. She didn't take her eyes off the horizon, not even bothering to pull the hood of the coat over her pink hair. She felt her sister's small hand slip into hers, and just that one time, she let it go. Her twelve year old sister didn't need to be hurt any more than she already had._

_Serah had never met their father - he had been an engineer at the Euride Gorge and he'd died in an accident not long after Serah had been born, but _she_ remembered how despondent their mother had been for months afterwards. Even then... she'd only been five years old, but she'd seen what crippling depression could do to a person. Even then, she had vowed to never let her emotions get the better of her. But in a way... Serah was lucky she didn't remember their father. Lightning did. The pain of knowing he would never come back, would never feel his hand ruffle her pastel coloured hair again was only one of the things she'd understood back then about dying.  
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_She vowed that she would never let herself feel that pain again... and here she was, standing next to her mother's grave with a white rose in her hands. Except this time... Serah was suffering right along with her. The moment she'd stood in the rain, watching and feeling the raindrops soak into her skin, plastering her clothes to her slender form, she'd promised herself that she would never let herself feel that much pain again. She'd promised that Serah would never... either._

_The last words of the priest finished, and for a moment, all she did was stare at the empty, yawning hole in the ground before she realized that everyone was waiting for her. Right... she was the head of the family now. Glancing around, she gave one nod of assent before the shovel threw dirt into the ground. The rose finally, finally left her fingers when she threw it into the grave, taking with it several drops of blood on its pristine white petals. She didn't turn around at the sound of shovelling, choosing to walk away instead. She chose to push her pain down inside, rather than let it out.  
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><p><em>At home, she'd left her sister alone in the living room. She didn't think she could bear watching Serah cry anymore; turning to go up the stairs, she went into the study where their mother had always done the bills. Lightning took a breath - all of that would fall on her shoulders now, but there was no other choice. She'd already sorted out the bills that needed to be paid - the piles of paper had been left untouched in the last few weeks of her mother's life, and she'd put the accounts in a different corner of the table. She'd only needed one glance at them to know that they wouldn't last long without some sort of income, and even then, it wouldn't stretch beyond a few years.<br>_

_Even then, she knew needed a job. Briefly, Lightning wondered what sort of place on Cocoon would hire a fifteen year old, but she couldn't let her grief and sense of powerlessness bury her now. And there was no way in hell she'd ever let Serah work - the harsh reality outside of their house would for sure tear her delicate sister apart... if their mother's death already hadn't.  
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_It was dark before she made her way downstairs again, tiptoing in case her sister had cried herself to sleep. But no, Serah was still up, watching the snow slowly fill up the windows outside. Hesitantly, she made her way to her, unsure if Serah wanted her presence right now. But she'd turned the moment Lightning approached, reaching out small, slender hands. Back then, she'd taken them without hesitation, pulling her sister into an awkward embrace.  
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_"You okay, Serah?" The question had seemed too simple... too undescriptive of their current situation, but she felt her sister snuggle against her collarbone anyways, playing with a loose pink strand of hair. Her eyes were still red and puffy.  
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_"I'm fine... but Claire... what about you?" Lightning swallowed her anger at the name - she'd let it go... just this once. There was a pause. "We'll be okay, right?"  
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_In that moment, she had believed it. Even if she hadn't, she would have forced herself to believe it. There was no way she was letting her sister go to some orphanage... There was no way she was letting that smile be wiped off her face in mere seconds. She _had_ to believe that they would be alright. There was no other way forward._

_"Yes. We'll be fine, I promise. Serah... nothing will ever hurt you again... okay? I promise that too."_

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><p>The dream was so real, so vivid, that for a moment, Lightning was confused as to where she was. Her sister's voice had sounded so clear and vibrant that in the space between two heartbeats in a consciousness that was neither asleep nor awake, she thought that perhaps, what had happened had been just that as well: a nightmare. The thought of that was something like a painkiller that threaded through the grey realm of dreams where she was semi-conscious in, before pain tore across the upper half of her body and the last words she'd said to Serah slapped her in the face.<p>

_"Nothing will ever hurt you again... okay? I promise."_ The words grated against her ears, and suddenly, the last vestiges of the dream were too painful to comprehend. Her eyes snapped open only to find the white ceiling stained with late afternoon sunrays and an all too agonizing reality waiting for her. Unable to escape from the lingering embrace of the dream, she lay there, trying to focus on one thing only: how to breathe without feeling pain.

It didn't work; the physical pain was nothing next to the surge of emotions that replaced the last remnants of the dream. All she could think about was how she couldn't protect Serah... how Serah had died. Lightning knew she could never detach herself from the moment: no matter how hard she tried, waking up from dreams that chased and snapped at her only greeted her with an empty, overwhelming reality she didn't want to face. _Why can't they just... keep me asleep?_ Not the sleep that haunted her towards the end of every night, filled with images she would have given anything to forget; she wanted the drug induced, dreamless sleep that was her only salvation. _The only way... I can continue to exist._

She would wake up and feel pain and desolation devour her before she even knew why. That was how completely it had ravaged her emotions. The strong, stoic soldier inside her was gone. She'd felt that side of her cease to exist the moment she _knew_ Serah was gone. Serah was the one person she'd fought for, lived for... the one person that she'd promised to protect. _And look at how... how I failed even that._ She'd promised! Not just Serah... her mother... And the moment her mother came into her thoughts, Lightning wanted to grasp her head between her hands and scream.

There were so many people she'd failed. Serah, Snow... It was too hard to comprehend, too hard to even begin to process those thoughts. What scared her the most was that she no longer had the _will_ to process her own thoughts and emotions; all of them were thrown in a mess inside, and she didn't have the strength to even try to grasp them - she'd submitted to their pressure without resistance, letting it control every motion and thought. The very opposite of what she'd been taught to do... but she no longer cared. The person she'd been fighting for no longer existed.

A small click sounded from somewhere she couldn't pinpoint, and it was awhile before she processed that fact that it was someone entering her room. For a moment, she wanted to reject that thought - if it was Snow... But the footsteps were soft, and in her still slightly hazy vision in the face of the afternoon sun, she saw someone clothed in pale pink, brushing past the teal-and-silver sleeping form that was Hope. Even in her still half-drugged state, the sight of him sent a stab of pain through her when it brought back what had happened the last time she'd been awake. The one time her body had let her cry and the look on his face when she'd said his name, her mind finally recognizing that he was there. _He looked at me like... like he didn't know who I was. _For a moment, that had hurt... until she realized she didn't _want_ him to recognize her. The further he stayed away from her, the better. That one thought had brought on the rest of the onslaught of memories and emotions that made her want to escape again.

The only thing was he hadn't backed away when she realized she was losing it again. Instead, all he'd done was draw closer to her, and before she had even begun to think about what had happened, his arms were around her neck, pulling her into a shy, warm embrace. The gesture had sent something else through her tormented, exhausted frame - a shock that had iced her to the spot; unable to pull away, her forehead on his shoulder. That feeling, whatever it was, had lasted only a second before the same rush of pain had urged her to push him away... and that was when the words that described her utter patheticness had slipped out. He'd let go of her then, backing away in shock, before the urge to run, the same impact of emptiness had attacked her at the look on his face, had taken control. She didn't remember anything that happened after that: the darkness and moonlight merging into a similar environment where light had contrasted with darkness, one that was all too familiar.

A small tap on her shoulder forced her to look up, slowly raising her head, hair pressed against the pillow. The nurse was smiling brightly down at her, but for some reason, Lightning couldn't comprehend that emotion. The smile...

"Hi hun. How're you feeling today?" the nurse chirped away cheerfully, clearly unaware of her current mental condition. Small, plump fingers tightened around her wrist; she let the gesture guide her movements without resistance. The woman was scribbling away on a clipboard with her other hand, the surface balanced against the edge of the bed, but Lightning didn't reply. There was nothing to say.

It was awhile before anyone filled the silence, when the nurse let go of her wrist - she let it fall back on the bed. In the small movement, Lightning saw that something else had been added to the mess of IV's threaded into her left hand - a small, plastic bracelet that read '_Mentally Disorientated'._ She didn't even know when they'd put the white band on her, but it didn't matter anymore._ Nothing matters anymore._

If the nurse found something odd about her silence, she didn't voice it. Instead, after a few minutes of reticence, the nurse put a hand on her abdomen, clearly checking for the stitches. Instantly, even in her painkiller cloaked consciousness, the slight pressure made Lightning arch her back against the brush of contact, her body immediately reacting to it as pain wracked her frame. The nurse looked at her concernedly, removing the touch.

"Does it hurt?" Lightning didn't reply - even the small involuntary motion had sent yet another burning claw of pain up her upper body and she desperately wanted to relax the muscles that had instantly tensed. However, this time, the nurse didn't let her lack of a response go through without a comment, instead, laying her hand gently back on top of the stitches, gently, slowly, pressing her back down. "Do you want some more painkillers?"

Turning her head away, Lightning found herself facing the blank, white wall only two or three feet away from her, trying to imagine her own pain being wiped as blank as the smooth surface. But the white panel only served as a canvas as her own mind painted the images before a whimper escaped her lips. A sudden pain throbbed through her hand - the rush of some other medication being pushed into her system, and she found her fingers clenching together, as if the motion would dispel it. The added effect of whatever drugs were now in her system made her eyes heavy again, and she gave up fighting it, letting herself relax as the slow lull of medication dulled all other physical sensation. _If only it would stop... If only it would make me forget..._

The nurse tossed one more comment over her shoulder as she cheerfully left the room, after redraping the covers over her body. "Don't worry, hun, you'll only have to last without the use of your lower body for only another day or so. Your operation is scheduled first thing in the morning in two day's time... so, I'll see you then!"

It was awhile before Lightning found that she could process the sentence and what it meant. The thought scared her for some reason; like the idea of walking again was too much to ask. _Like walking again will just be the reminder that the last time I walked... Serah still existed. _This time, however, the tears couldn't come. Apart from the yawning emptiness that didn't seem to be growing smaller her sister's death had left, there was nothing else she could feel again. There wasn't enough room to contain those feelings that wanted to consume her before the drip in her left hand pulled her under into the dreamless, blissfully painless world of sedative-induced sleep again.

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><p>Hope found his face pressed against the rough wool of the back of the chair, the bristly material leaving imprints on the cheek that had been pressed against it as he raised his head, eyes still heavy with sleep. The light of the dying sunlight in the face of a blood red sunset played with the back of the chair, casting long shadows on the wall opposite. His eyes travelled, almost instinctively, to Lightning, whose eyes were closed. A small frown crossed his lips - the covers were rearranged neatly over her, and he was quite sure that they had not been that way this morning when he'd finally given in to sleep. She was curled slightly on one side; her head facing the wall, she was orientated with her back to the window as far as the restraints around her middle would allow her.<p>

Slowly, Hope got to his feet and shuffled his way to her bed, wanting desperately for her to be awake. The need to be comforted, especially after last night, was overwhelming, and he wanted her to talk to him, wanted to hear her tell him it was going to be okay. The memory of last night pushed all such sentiments out of his mind before he berated himself for being so stupid and selfish - what kind of comfort could she give him... especially after she as good as told him she wanted to die?

Sitting down on the corner of the bed, Hope heard her even breathing, and his heart sank, even after his last thoughts. There was no way she could be awake and sound that peaceful. Something new on her left wrist, which was sprawled away from her body, caught his eye. Reading the tiny black script on it, Hope felt like he was going to be sick. _Is this... how they see her? Is this what she's medically classified as?_ The thought made him angry, really. She needed some way to escape from the inner anguish eating away at her and all they could do about it was pump painkillers and sedatives into her when she got too upset.

The initial anger at seeing the plastic thing around her wrist gave way to fear almost instantly when the anger faded away. It was impossible not to see her as a mother figure in some ways... and that just made things worse. He'd already lost his real mother in the Hanging Edge... seeing her mortally wounded, watched the blast of fire burn away at her, watched her lifeless body fall into the abyss below the Hanging Edge. It scared him that he could lose Lightning too, even though it wouldn't be in the same way, even though physically, she was still here. He was scared she'd never outrun the mental demons and they'd never let her go. He was scared that he'd lose her, irrevocably, to those mental injuries, even though she was going to live.

His fingers found hers without hesitation, but this time, it was _him_ that needed her comfort... he needed to know she was there; unlike last time when he'd hoped the contact would give some form of comfort to her. Slowly, without realizing it, Hope wiped away the tears that he didn't know were leaving trails on his cheeks.

"Light... please be alright, please..."

_She has to be... right?_

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><p>Snow pushed his hand through his hair, feeling the sweat in the blond strands. Retying his bandanna, he straightened, moving over to the window to watch the last edge of the sun drop down below the line of the mountains that surrounded their home in Gran Pulse. He didn't know what Sazh had wanted from him until the older man had led him into Command, sporting digital maps and books piled high on the tables.<p>

It was a little hard to pay attention at first, but the moment the commander had mentioned the Eclipse, Snow felt the familiar anger push through the grief as he was brought to concentrate on the situation.

Even with only two crystals, the current projection done by the Pulse Management computers was that the Eclipse had enough power to drown the southern parts of Gran Pulse in darkness and monsters. It would be enough to overrun the entire population of Cocoon that had settled on Pulse, as well as possibly other indigenous peoples should they live in the radius of the umbra that would be spread. The more crystals the man had, the larger the umbra would be. For the first time since Serah's death, Snow found the strength inside himself to feel thankful that they hadn't given the man more.

That gratefulness had been wiped in an instant when the next insight was laid on the table. There was an optimal place to initiate the Eclipse, to ensure that its range would go as far as possible to allow the maximum possibility of consuming enough souls to open the Door of Souls. And in hindsight, Snow thought that maybe it was a little obvious, a little too ironic as to the place, that he might have suspected it sooner.

Of course, it was from inside Cocoon's crystallized shell.

By the current projections, the large, crystal structure was the highest point anywhere on Gran Pulse, even taking into consideration the mountains. It also happened to be the closest landmark to any large human civilization. At the thought, Snow let out a groan. _This has to end where it all began, doesn't it?_

"You okay?" Sazh had appeared at his shoulder, offering him a steaming cup. He took it, but found no solace in its warmth that it spread to his fingers. Like every other movement he made, the motion was automatic. It still held no meaning other than it was something he had to do.

"Yeah. I'll live." The statement was flat, but Snow couldn't think of another way to express the flat despair inside that could rarely be punctuated by another small impression of something else.

The older man sighed. "Long battle ahead of us still... You sure you're up for it?"

That sentence happened to be one of the exceptions, as Snow felt the icy determination colour the grief that had buried him. "_That_... I am up for." His voice hardened. "I'll see this through... no matter what. I'll punch the guts out of the creep that killed her." Sazh looked at him the moment he snarled the last words.

"Don't let your anger take over your emotions now there... Though I understand the sentiment. You're not the only one who's lost someone to someone else. Once, I was just like you."

Snow looked at the older man critically. "What... do you mean?"

There was a sigh and a long pause before the other man spoke. "You may know... I lost my wife too. She was caught in a velocycle accident. She hadn't even been driving one. The debris from the crash hit her in the head. She was dead before the paramedics even had a chance to get to her." Sazh's tone was oddly flat. "I hated myself as much as you probably do now. I wasn't even there for her, didn't even get to say goodbye." There was a brief silence as Snow tried to comprehend what the man was saying. "I wanted revenge as much as you did. What drunken idiot was out with his velocycle? What stupid person didn't even try to save her? But the longer and harder I looked, the more I was consumed by my anger. I couldn't even hang around Dajh anymore because I was so angry."

Was that what he was becoming? Someone so set down the path to revenge that he couldn't even see what he was going to be? Snow didn't want to see himself become that person. He'd already hurt Lightning more than he should have - the question had slipped out in a moment of uncontrolled grief and anger that the one time he hadn't been there... she was torn from him.

The older man continued. "But when I stepped back, stepped away from the grief, I saw what I was becoming. I didn't want that... I still wanted Dajh to have a happy life. I still wanted to enjoy my time with my remaining family members. So... you see, death is hard. It's hard on everyone, but life goes on. You don't stop living because someone you loved is gone. Whether or not you like it, the clock's still tickin' for you." Sazh gave him a long, hard look. "Look, I know it's hard when her death is still so fresh in your mind. And she'll never leave - she's like a scar. I don't mean that in a bad way or anything, but... as long as you live, a part of her lives too, y'know? And I'll bet this chocobo chick that she'd have wanted ya to be happy even when she's gone. You see where I'm goin' with this?"

The funny thing was, Snow _did_ see. He knew the older man was right, knew that life went on. _Even if I never let go of her... _Sazh tossed him one last comment before walking away.

"We've got some more work to do before we hit the hay there, hero. And... you make sure you pass on what I said to soldier girl too. I have a feeling she's taking this hard as well."

_That's an understatement. _

* * *

><p>Hope found himself being pushed awkwardly to one side as the doctor scribbled away on a clipboard while an anesthesiologist pressed something over Lightning's face. For the first - and he was quite sure it would not be the last - time in his life, Hope doubted the ability of the medical staff at the hospital. Irrational fears were beginning to crawl over his skin - what if she never woke up? What if they couldn't fix her? Hope could feel himself starting to panic.<p>

He took several breaths, pressing his back against the cold glass pane of the window just behind him. _I'm just starting to be stupid now._ Covering his face with his hands, thumbs scratching the sides of his cheeks, he concentrated on pulling breaths through his fingers. _In, out... _He couldn't let himself think about her right now.

Someone prodded him in the shoulder - it was the same doctor that had kicked Snow out of the hospital, except this time, half his face was covered by a surgical mask. Hope felt the same old fear reawaken as his stomach twisted itself into knots. "Fifteen minutes before she's scheduled to go in. You wanna keep her company till then, kid?" He nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

The doctor closed the door behind him, and Hope could see a pager next to his ear - no doubt summoning the other doctors needed. Trying to stop himself from trembling, he went to sit beside her, unsure of whether he should be reaching for her hand. To his surprise, her fingers found his the moment he settled himself in the chair, and Hope found himself instinctively squeezing back. One look at her face and the expression in her eyes told him this was one of Lightning's 'better days', one where she wasn't completely lost in her own depression and guilt. The pain still lurked in her delicate features, but this time, her eyes weren't haunted by the lifeless look he'd almost accustomed himself in seeing in her. She looked like she knew what was going on.

"Hey." Hope tried to make himself sound stronger than he felt. "You're going to be okay, alright? They said they'll fix you."

She glanced at him, once. "I'm scared." Her voice was muffled by the mask over her face, and the moment she uttered the two words Hope wished he could escape just like she wanted to. Lightning had only ever admitted she had been scared... once: the one time she'd almost been consumed by her own indecision. That moment back in the icy reaches of northern Gran Pulse felt like a lifetime ago.

"Don't be." Last time... all he'd wanted was for her to understand, to understand that she wasn't alone. But this time, Hope could tell that with whatever he said, his words would affect her in more than one way. She couldn't lose control of her emotions now, not when... _Not when she needs this operation to go right for her._ Taking another breath, Hope pushed down his own feelings, swallowing the tears that were threatening him again, before he spoke. "We're all here... We'll be waiting for you, alright? I'll get Snow to come and bring you home."

She didn't reply, but he'd seen her flinch the moment he mentioned Snow. _Crap._ "Light... Please don't do this... We need you... okay?" His voice trembled on the last syllable, and he felt her fingers hold his a little tighter. _Like... like holding onto me is her way finding a lifeline. _If that was the case, then he wouldn't pull away. It surprised him that the action of holding hands no longer felt awkward to him anymore - maybe it was because they'd repeated the motion so many times in the past few days that it no longer felt awkward and embarrassing, like the mutual need had overridden all other confusing and uncomfortable emotions that might have been associated with the contact.

If Lightning heard, or acknowledged his last question, she didn't show it. Instead, she closed her eyes, and Hope felt her hand relax in his. There was a long pause, where the moments ticked away in silence. "Hope... I'm sorry..." she finally replied quietly, her voice barely audible and her fingers putting hardly any extra pressure on their joined hands apart from the gravity that was pulling them down onto his.

"No! Light... it's not your fault!" His instant denial elicited a small, pained groan from her, but he continued, pushing away the doubt. "Light... no one blames you, alright? We just want you home... where you belong. We want you back... okay?"

There was no way to know if she had understood what he was asking of her; at that moment, the door reopened, and Hope could hear the sound of voices outside. There was only one moment to hold her fingers in both of his hands, gripping her left hand tightly in his, trying to convey all his emotions in that one simple gesture.

It was something of a relief when he felt her fingers tighten around his, just enough to let him know that in some way, she'd heard, before the doctors took her away from him, leaving him there with a promise to give him an update in a few hours.

_Light... we really need you back. We want you to be okay... alright?_

* * *

><p><strong>*takes deep breath*<strong>

**Wow. I really, really, hope that this was okay for all of you guys, that Lightning and Hope came off alright. I spent so, so long on the very first segment there with her... trying to convey her emotions and thoughts right. Grieving Lightning is hard in so many ways because she never showed much of it in the game, and obviously mine has grown since she took out her pain by banging away at everything she sees. But, on the other hand... I do think that truly losing Serah in an irreversible way is the _one_ thing that would utterly break her. :/  
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**Anyways, leave love as always in reviews, and I'll see you guys tomorrow!  
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**Hearts!  
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	47. Beyond the Tears

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! n_n**

**Once again, big thank yous go to all my supporters: GCFarron, OscarMerrinoz96, Lightarcana, Zapper90, Crystal, That One Reviewee (awh, thank you, and well, let's just say the HxL development has only just started), thewhitespirit, and Mylaervain! And to H-thar, yay, I see a fellow HG fan! The idea of the bracelet definitely came from HG, but as a student on Co-op who has been to hospitals and mental institutes alike during her BPharm program WE, I've actually seen it on patients as well in some of the places I've been to, so I decided to go ahead and use it in my fic. And I've been drawing from several sources on how to correctly portray grief (and HG is one of them); everyone feels pain differently obviously, and my Psychology course books all describe the same signs and symptoms for major depressive disorder, so I've been trying to get as many different 'ideas' so to say, as possible.  
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**As always, much love goes to my muse, LadyAlaska. :3  
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**Anyways, enough of my garbage; I'll shut up now. Enjoy as always!**

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><p><span>Chapter 47: Beyond the Tears<span>

Waking up from a deep, dreamless state that she knew she had to have been in for quite awhile was no easier the second time around than the first. Pulling in a short, pained breath, Lightning found that it was easier than she expected it to be as her hazy vision opened into a grey ceiling dotted with black, lit by some dim lighting several feet away. Something was still over her face, and even in the sedative induced half consciousness, the throb of pain that invaded her reality every time she was awake was already present. Someone must have been monitoring her, because there were only a few minutes that passed before a nurse in mint green scrubs came over, carefully looking at the cardiac monitor she had to have been hooked up to.

"Hm... you're doing nicely right now. Though we've been expecting you to wake up for awhile now. So, hun, tell me how you're feeling." The nurse sounded pleasantly surprised before prying the mask off her face and detaching several wires taped onto her skin.

Once again, Lightning found it impossible to do what she'd been asked. The words wouldn't come - they caught in her throat before they could make it past, and she found the all too familiar grief threatening to bury her again. She didn't see how there was a way around the despairing emptiness that had to be all that was left of her. She didn't see how she would ever stop thinking about Serah, didn't see how she would ever stop hurting. There was only one difference this time - instead of the dead lifelessness she'd felt in her lower body since her sister's death, she could _feel_ the cloth of the hospital gown under her legs, and the weight of the heavy blankets piled at her feet. The thought terrified her.

The nurse took her silence for obedience, and she cheerfully hummed a tune, pushing the hospital gurney towards some exit Lightning couldn't see, chattering away obliviously. "Your friends are waiting outside, but I've got instructions to take you back to your room before I let them in, alright? You'll have to stay at the hospital for a few more days, but the doctors told me to tell you that if you can stand for them, then you're as good as new." The nurse probably thought that that would be some sort of good news for her, because she smiled down brightly, but all Lightning could feel was the familiar hurt beginning to eat away at her again. _I don't want..._

She let the medical staff do what they wanted to her, pushing and pulling limbs in an effort to move her back onto the bed in the familiar room, the only other place she'd seen since her sister's death, letting them fuss over her hair before finally flicking off the light and leaving her in the twilight darkness with a cheerful promise that Hope and Snow would be on their way soon. The door clicked shut before she was finally alone in the silence, leaving her with the same dull throbbing ache in her abdomen and a newer tear of pain in her back. Tiredly, she noted that the plastic bracelet around her left wrist was still there, but everything else had been removed - clearly, they expected her to eat and drink by herself now. Curling up, pulling her knees to her chest, she pressed her forehead against them. The sensation still felt strange; it was like her body had grown used to the disuse of her lower body, but the warmth provided by her curled up position was somewhat comforting.

It was a long time before she moved, disturbed by the sound outside the door. Suddenly, Lightning wasn't sure anymore that she wanted to see _anyone_, but it was too late now. The telltale thumps of Snow entering along with softer footsteps had already sounded and she could as easily hide now as bring back the sun from behind the mountains. Remaining with her head against her knees, she heard the intake of breath.

"Light...? You're okay now... right?" Hope's tentative voice brought what had happened that morning back - his desperate plea that they wanted her back, that they wanted her home. _I don't know... I don't want... _The feel of their joined fingers had calmed her this morning, but right now, all she felt was claustrophobic - the room was too small. But this time, she didn't want to run anymore. She'd already accepted that there was no way to detach herself from any sort of emotion associated with Serah's death. Lightning felt pathetically useless - there was no way they still wanted her to fight. When she had accepted the constant throb of pain that Serah wasn't coming back, she found that all she wanted to do was to sit there. She didn't want to fight.

Someone's hands pulled at her own that were wrapped around her lower legs, and she felt the bed sink an inch or two. The motion jostled what the operation had done to her this morning, but she didn't make a sound, neither fighting nor accepting the grip. "Light?" Part of her wanted to tell Hope to leave - she _knew_ he was trying to help but... _But if I'm never going to forget... he should stop wasting his time an__d energy on me._

There was a clearing of a throat. "Sis? Sis... look, I'm sorry." Snow's voice was unusually subdued and quiet, but she didn't look up. _Just... leave me alone._ "I'm sorry for what I said. Goddamn, Sis, I _know_ you tried to save her - you wouldn't be here if you didn't. So... please?"

She didn't understand what he was asking of her, finally pushing her pink bangs off the back of her knees, raising her head a few inches until she could see both of them, her chest still pressed against her thighs. "What... do you want?" Her own voice was a hoarse croak, and she saw Snow flinch.

It was Hope who replied. "We still... need you."

_No, you don't!_ She tried to push him away then, but he didn't let go of her fingers. Too tired to fight back, slowly, she found herself being forced to look at Snow again. "You don't... No one does."

The instant she whispered the last syllable she saw Snow take several steps in her direction until he was just in front of her, looking down at her. Lightning found herself involuntarily backing away from him until her back was pressed against the bed and there was nowhere left to go. The look in his eyes didn't hold anger though - it sent something akin to shock to see that it held sadness and pity. She knew exactly how far she'd fallen when she realized that she couldn't even find the anger inside for pitying her. Slowly, Snow bent down until they were at eye level.

"Sis... Lightning, look." He took a breath. "I know... I know she's gone. But don't you want to avenge her? Don't you want to see that she didn't die in vain? Maker, I know it hurts... that we'll never see her again, never hear her again, never enjoy her smiling again. But you're still here, and I _know_ you can still fight."

She wanted to screech at him to stop. The moment he mentioned Serah was like he'd taken up a sword on her again. She didn't need more reminders, didn't need him to keep reminding her of who was gone with every word. _And... I can't fight anymore..._

"Please?" Hope's quiet, soft plea was close to her.

"Sis, we really need you. Where's the soldier attitude when I'm looking for it?"

His pained attempt at a joke made something snap inside. She didn't know what the word 'soldier' had touched, but whatever it was, it triggered the reaction she knew had been lurking somewhere all day, waiting to strike. Wrenching her hand out of Hope's grasp, she found herself dry heaving against the sudden shortness of breath, one hand pressed to her chest, the other wrapped around her middle, like holding it would alleviate the pain. "Just... stop it! Stop... Get out." It was suddenly hard to gasp out the words as the same exhausted lethargy of not being able to fight back, of not being able to escape flooded back, like clouds unable to contain a rainstorm. "Just... leave me alone."

There was no argument, but she felt and heard Snow drop something near her bed before silence consumed the air around her. It was a couple of minutes before she realized that the only sounds of breathing in the room were her own. There were several pills in a small, clear ziplock bag on the table beside the bed. Lightning didn't hesitate to reach out a shaking hand for them, closing slim, trembling fingers around the plastic. If they'd left pills out in the open like that... it had to be okay for her to take them... right?

It was hard to swallow, pushing the bitter capsules down her raw throat, but afterwards, she found that it warded off some of the rising panic and her breathing was easier. There was only one thing to do now, and that was to lie back and wait for the drugs to take effect, hoping that for once, sleep would be some form of solace.

She didn't have to wait long.

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><p>Snow sat down on the chair at Command, finger clenched around a water bottle, trying to resist the temptation to pour the entire contents of the bottle over his head. <em>Maker... I didn't expect her to be...<em> He didn't expect her to be so utterly trapped in the grips of her own depression. It wasn't that he _didn't_ feel sad... _didn't_ go a day without thinking about Serah, but he found that after his talk with Sazh, he could think about her and think about something happy in the same thought again. He wanted to _remember_ their happiness, not wallow in despair that he'd never see her again. While that was still there, he found that being busy... _doing_ something to achieve what she'd fought for, helped. He could bury his pain in the desire to fight back.

But Lightning couldn't. Whatever it was... she couldn't detach herself from the pain that way. It might have had something to do with the hospital... maybe it was an all too familiar reminder of why exactly Serah was gone, but it didn't matter. Without something else to think about, she'd let the pain engulf her, wholly merging with her existence. He knew he'd had something to do with it, but... _But I thought Hope was going to fix that._

The thought had barely finished before he mentally slapped himself. _What am I doing... pinning that sort of thing onto a kid? _

"Hey... Snow?" Hope's tentative voice was close to his shoulder, and he pushed his hair back again before replying.

"Yeah...?" He found himself looking into Hope's scared green eyes.

It was awhile before the teenager replied. "Are you going back... tomorrow?" _The hospital? Maker, no. _Maybe he was selfish and childish, but there was a part of him that didn't want to see Lightning like that. However, he couldn't let that show in front of Hope.

"Do you want me to?" He hoped he didn't sound too reluctant. _Maker, Sis... why?_

Hope had taken the hint anyways, regardless of how small he'd tried to make it. "No... I'll go alone." The silver haired teenager cast him an understanding look. "It's hard... seeing her like that." His voice choked a little on the last sentence, and Snow pressed the sides of his hands into his cheekbones, rubbing the skin there.

"No kidding..." Snow let out a long sigh. "Don't you... you know. Aren't you scared of... well, if she snaps?"

The look in Hope's eyes was so haunted Snow wanted to run away. "It doesn't matter if she does... You just keep trying, until you think you can reach her again." Despite the look, Snow heard the determined tone in his voice, and he reached over a big hand to ruffle the platinum looks, earning him a small, sad smile.

"Good luck." _He's going to need it. For sure. Maker... please make things easier on him... on all of us. _

* * *

><p>Hope watched the slow rise and fall of Lightning's chest as she breathed, still asleep. Dully, he noted that they hadn't taken off the plastic bracelet on her wrist, but he didn't dare move from his position by the window, the curtains drawn back for the first time since he'd been here, allowing the morning light to fully permeate the room, flooding it with brightness. There were several doctors scribbling away on notepads, but he didn't want to know. <em>All I want to know is... if she'll be okay. <em>He'd already seen that she could move her lower body - the way she'd been curled up the day before had reminded him, painfully, once again, of the moment back in the cave outside the Ice Cliff Palace. The one time he'd seen her look utterly defeated. That was what she reminded him of yesterday.

Eventually, most of the doctors left the room, leaving him, once again, alone with the doctor that had spoken to him yesterday. Hope saw him shake her shoulder, and instantly he wanted to shout at him to stop it - there was only one time now when Lightning reminded him of her old self, and that was when she was asleep. But it was too late; he could hear the doctor murmuring something to her, even though he couldn't pick out the individual words. Surprisingly, Hope saw her allow him to pull her up, gently and slowly. It was only then he saw the dull, lifeless look in her eyes and he knew that this was _not_ one of her 'better days'. This was one of the days where she let pain and grief utterly bury her, saying nothing, fighting back against nothing. He couldn't shake off the feeling that their visit yesterday had had something to do with her current mental condition.

It was awhile before the doctor slowly let go of her arm, leaving her to stand by herself, the back of her legs pressed against the side of the hospital bed. For some reason, Hope wasn't surprised that shakily, she was able to support her own weight. There was a note of triumph in the doctor's voice when he next spoke - only this time, he could hear the words.

"Good! Now... will you walk a few steps for me?" It was a few moments before Lightning made any sort of response, but finally she took a ginger step forwards. She stumbled, but even Hope could see that it wasn't because her back hadn't been repaired properly. The urge to catch her before she collapsed to the ground was instant, but the doctor got to her before he could.

There was a broad smile on the doctor's face that for some reason, sickened him. "Excellent!" He was scribbling away on his notepad, balancing the board on the arm that held her upright, and it was a few minutes before anyone else spoke. "You're fit to go home tomorrow, Ms. Farron, if you're so inclined. You'll just have to come back in two weeks to get the stitches removed, but other than that, you're as good as new." Letting go of her, he strode out the room, closing the door behind him, leaving Hope to guide her back to the bed. He could tell she had barely processed what the doctor had said to her, and slowly, his fingers found hers again, gently prying her slender digits out of their tight fists at her side.

"There... Light. See, you can come home now." It was awhile before she made some sort of acknowledgment that she'd heard him, slowly turning her head to look at him. In that instant, he knew she'd understood. It was only that she didn't want to.

"I'm scared..." The same words she'd said to him before they'd taken her for surgery. Her other hand was pressed against her mouth, the one he was holding tightening around his fingers. Slowly, he returned the small gesture.

"You're safe now... okay? Look, Snow even brought you something yesterday." He didn't know if it was the right time to show her - for all he knew all he could be doing was making things worse, but it had to be better than watch her lose herself in pain and fear again: this time, there were no sedatives in sight. Without letting go of her, he reached under the bed to the cloth bag Snow had stowed there the day before. It only held two things, and Hope desperately wished that one of them would be enough to convince her that they still needed her.

The first thing was her necklace - the lightning bolt pendant that the medics had obviously taken from her neck, and it had ended up back at the Corps Building. The rest of what could be salvaged from her uniform was at home, but the necklace was what one of the commanding officers there had given back to him personally, with a request to return it to her. He saw her other hand tighten around the small, silver pendant, crushing the small metal links in the chain. Her small exhalation made him look up, suddenly terrified of what it could mean. Instead he saw the slow trails of tears down her face, gently dotting her skin with the small drops.

"Light?" She didn't reply, and he didn't press her for one. When he felt her grip on him tighten, he didn't fight it, letting her still-strong grasp crush his fingers under hers. It hurt, but having her project her pain was better than her holding it in. They sat like that for awhile, him letting her cry out pain he knew she had to be still holding in. When she finally looked up again, Hope was relieved to see that her blue eyes were somewhat clearer, and she didn't fight it when he slowly pulled the necklace from her now lax hand and fastened it around her neck.

There was something like a warm embarrassment that flooded him when his fingers brushed the back of her neck when he finally clipped the ends of the chain together, and the feeling intensified when he realized she was letting him. Moving away from her once he was done, he looked down at his hands, feeling the familiar flush of heat beginning to creep up the sides of his neck. It was a pleasant surprise when her hand found his again, like he was something to hold on to. _I__f that's the case... then I don't mind. I want to be more than someone she's just 'glad she's met'._

Slowly, he found himself holding her blue gaze. There were still the shadows of pain in them, but it was less lifeless, and if he was honest... with her signature necklace now back around her neck, she looked more like herself. Hesitantly, he reached for the bag that he'd left behind him on the bed. It was significantly heavier than the small chain he'd removed from it earlier, and it was more of a challenge to hold it steady with one hand, and this time, he didn't take it out; instead choosing to place the bag on her lap.

"That's... yours too." He wasn't sure if she was ready for it yet, and suddenly, fear slammed into him - what if she wasn't? He let her open it at her own pace, fingers hesitant and unsure as she slowly pried the mouth of the bag open. Her sharp, suddenly pained gasp made him look up with alarm. He had known what it was, but he could tell she hadn't been expecting what was in it, and suddenly the look in her eyes scared him again.

She was holding her omega weapon so tightly with her hands that her knuckles were white against its handle, the black and white striped metal quivering in her trembling hands. "Why...?" Those were the only words she'd said in awhile, her voice quavering and hoarse. Slowly, Hope placed his hands over hers, tightening her hold on the weapon.

"It belongs... to you. That's why."

* * *

><p>Snow pushed aside the papers that littered the desk in the Command Room, frustrated that they had gotten no new leads on Yorun's whereabouts since they'd figured out that his intended "initiation place" was Cocoon. The man seemed to have disappeared after he'd swiped the last crystal at the Ice Cliff Palace, and there hadn't been any sign of him since. <em>Serah... I'll avenge your death. That I promise. <em>The same echo of pain swept across him whenever he thought of her, but instead of crippling him, in the three weeks since she'd died, he felt it empower him instead.

He was no stranger to loss, and only the Maker knew that he'd hold onto her forever. But it was like Sazh had said - the more he let the pain and anger consume him, the less of _him_ he actually was. _I can actually... think about her now and remember what __we had. I can think about that as a happiness that once was... a lifetime before that had held joy in it. _Maybe he wouldn't be 'happy' again in the sense of the word, but he found that over time, he could detach himself from the pain of her death and focus on the months they'd had together. _It's the one thing that keeps me going._ He found himself thinking of her shy optimism and her warm, easy smile whenever he felt bogged down by life that still tied him to this earth. It was his own sort of painkiller - sure, the memory came with the pang of pain that he would never see that again before his eyes, it was still as Sazh had said. She lived on while he lived, even as fond, bittersweet memories.

A sudden blare of an alarm jolted him out of his thoughts as Snow stood up, curling his hands into fists. Around him, he could see the other soldiers beginning to stand as well. Studying their expressions, he found icy determination flood his consciousness. _Something's attacking. I'm sure of it._ Over the shouts, a grunt came running in, panting.

"Eden! The capital's being overrun by those clones!" The sharp command of the officer with the blue stripes had stood up on his chair to shout over the noise that the news had brought.

"Soldiers, find your commanding officers _immediately_ and prepare to sortie!" The emptying of the room in command was so fast that Snow could have sworn it had only been a minute, at most, before most of the soldiers were gone and an unsettling silence had swamped the room. He turned when he heard the sound of boots coming towards him.

"We'll need you at home here, Snow. Can you bring... er, Lightning Farron here? She's out of the hospital, correct?" Snow shifted uncomfortably at the question. Yes, she _was_ home... but all she'd done, according to Hope, who he'd finally dragged out of the house after two or three days, was sit by the window, only moving to eat or drink, barely speaking. She wasn't really any better, and he winced when Hope had recounted for him the episode in which he'd given her back her gunblade. She'd stared at it for a few moments before she'd pushed it away from her, crying that she couldn't fight again. Afterwards, she'd refused to say another word, and Hope had trailed off awkwardly there.

"Is there something wrong?" The questioning glance made Snow feel like the officer knew everything.

"Well... she isn't exactly in the best mental condition right now..." His own voice sounded pathetic, but the officer seemed to understand.

"Try anyways. Maybe something so close to home will convince her to help."

He'd had no choice but to agree, but part of him hoped that they could, indeed, convince her. Running from the room, Snow found Hope in the pile of materials and history books before dragging him out, making for the exit. Hope hadn't resisted until they were outside in the setting afternoon sun and he'd started in the direction of home.

"Where are we going?" the teenager asked, panting to keep up with him.

Snow set his eyes directly on the cliff in the distance past the other building constructed on the Gran Pulse soil, the cliff where their house was, and he steeled his voice before replying. "To get Lightning."

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><p>Her back pressed against the cold window, the setting sun hot on the back of her neck, Lightning was determined not to fall asleep. She'd kept herself in the most uncomfortable position as possible ever since she'd let Hope help her struggle home, and she'd barely moved since, one leg tucked under her, the toes of the other brushing the cold wooden floorboards. There was no incentive to fight back, and she'd thrown the omega weapon onto one of the couches where it was out of her sight, unable to even look at it.<p>

The only reason she'd let Hope fasten her necklace around her throat was because... she needed him. It had been a long time, but even now, even in the waking days that seemed to have no end to the amount of pain they could hold, she had realized... she needed his support. His and no one else's. He didn't look at her with the pity Snow had, and every single time, even as she pushed him away, she knew that he'd only been trying to help. _Why... am I so pathetic? Why can't I..._

Closing her eyes, Lightning tried to let the contrast of warmth and cold on her back distract her from the pained emptiness that was still the only thing that existed inside. There wasn't even physical pain to distract her now - the stitches in her abdomen only pulled when she moved too suddenly, the pain too little of a constant ache to even hold a light to the dull pain that still throbbed with every heartbeat in her chest. She had no energy to move, no energy to do what she knew Hope and Snow wanted her to do - fight. _What's the point...? There's no one to fight for anymore... _Yorun could kill her for all she cared. _At least then... I'll see Serah again._ The small nag in her stomach made a rebuttal to that thought, and briefly, she wondered what her suicidal thoughts would do to Hope if she actually carried through with it. It felt odd to know, in the small cavern at the back of her mind that still processed everyday things, that the thought disturbed her.

She hadn't had the strength or will to actually carry out her thoughts, feeling lethargy consume what hadn't been by the continued pain and anguish. Pulling a thin blanket around the shoulders that weren't covered by the black spaghetti tank top, she didn't even bother to rake out the tangles in her pink hair that had been messily thrown over her left shoulder. _It... doesn't matter anymore._

Lightning wanted to scream her pain out, but there was no one who understood. Snow had to have gone through the same pain she had, but Snow was Snow. She wasn't. She couldn't deal with it the way he could. He didn't let it press down on him, consume him, let it take over every thought and emotion, and in some ways, she was jealous of that. She couldn't let go of it, no matter how hard she tried. She couldn't accept the pain itself, even though she had accepted that it would never cease to be a part of her. She wasn't able to detach it from herself - she was weak enough to let it erode the strong soldier inside her, the one that had been taught to control all feelings, to put cognition before emotion.

Dropping her chin to her chest, letting pink bangs cover her face and obscure her vision, Lightning wondered how she would continue to exist. Was every day going to be like this - monotone, despairing, and inescapable? Was the only way to keep going to not move forward at all, to just sit there and wait for the pain and emptiness to finally claim her? She had just buried her head in her hands, her fingernails digging into the scalp underneath the cherry coloured hair when she heard a key scrape in the lock.

_No... please..._

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><p><strong>*takes a breath*<strong>

**Hm... this wasn't quite as hard to write as I thought it would be, surprisingly, Lightning came off much more naturally than I expected her to be. Maybe I'm just getting used to her mindset, but putting down her thoughts and emotions was much easier than last time. But then again... maybe it's because Hope, err, helped me out a bit? :3 Ha, well... I'll let you guys interpret that as you will.  
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**Anyways, as usual with my Friday updates, I promise at least one chapter this weekend, so, stay tuned. Leave love in reviews as always, and I'll see you guys next time!  
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**Hearts!  
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	48. Beautiful World

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR. (:**

**And once again, I begin with my thanks for my reviewers: Mylaervain, OscarMerrinoz96, thewhitespirit, Lightarcana, GCFarron (yes! nice number penchants ftw, and thank you SO much for all your support) H-thar (ahh, yes, I definitely plan to go into the healthcare profession, and I totally agree with the BR sentiment -.-), That One Reviewee (haha, yes, unfortunately certain people just have terrible expectations of others) Crystal, and Zapper90! I could not have made it this far without all of your love. :3 And to LadyAlaska... all I can say in this chapter, is "sandwiches" (sorry, inside joke xD).  
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**One more thing: I did use a couple lines off a song again - credit goes to _This is a Beautiful World_, by Aaron Brotherton.  
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**Anyways... if you guys thought the last chapter was heavy on HxL, and you liked it, well... all I can say is, enjoy.**

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><p><span>Chapter 48: Beautiful World<span>**  
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Lightning didn't raise her head from her hunched position by the window when she heard the door open. There was no point; instead, she buried her face into the cotton of the grey sweatpants she usually wore to bed, hoping that the smell of the laundry detergent would be enough of a distraction, feeling the same emptiness beginning to choke her the moment her vision was obscured by the thick cloth. It didn't work.

Someone's hands shook her roughly, but it was a few moments before she forced herself to look up, finding the ocean blue eyes of Snow. His expression was impossible to read, but he didn't let go of her until she lowered her feet to the ground, removing her grip from her knees. All that did was leave her hands to clutch the blanket tighter around her, feeling the fuzzy, rough wool scrape against her bare shoulders. In her current condition, she couldn't have predicted his next move.

He pulled her into a standing position, pressing her back against the window. And in her weakened, lethargic state, she could as easily push his grip off of her shoulders as she could forget about Serah. There was no anger in his eyes, only a determination that she knew masked some other intent.

"Sis." Snow's voice was stern. "This... has to stop. You have to stop blaming yourself, you have to stop hating yourself. You think Serah would want to see you like this? You think Serah would want to see you beating yourself up like this every single flipping day? Tell me!" His last words contained the anger and frustration she knew he felt, and he let go of her. Without the support and with the painful backlash that Snow's words brought, she sank to her knees, arms hugging herself, clenching the blanket to her slender from.

"Shut up... _Shut up!_" Her words didn't have the volume that she wanted it to have, her own pain choking back the words. She wanted him to stop talking, wanted him to stop reminding her about her sister with every other word that left his mouth. _Does he... have to remind me? Does he have to..._ Lightning was surprised she could feel a spark of anger stab through the desolate flat and empty landscape her emotions now consisted of. "Snow... stop talking." _Please..._

"No. Sis, look at yourself. And I mean, really look at yourself." He squatted down to her eye level. "I know it hurts. I know it hurts that she's never coming back. But _life goes on_. Maker, I know I'll never forget her, and I know _you'll_ never forget her... but you're still here. Does that... make sense?"

She didn't want it to. She knew what he was saying but she didn't want to listen, didn't want it to make sense. Lightning felt only pain and guilt whenever she thought of Serah - she could never bring herself to detach that pain from her, to pull away from the emotions that grappled with her for every word and every movement. It scared her when she realized that she was afraid to sort out those feelings, that she was afraid...

_I'm afraid of it being my fault. _She was scared of it being _her_ that had killed Serah. Serah had only gone with her because she had been concerned about her. If Serah hadn't gone with her... _Would she still be alive now?_ Lightning didn't know how many times she wished she could have swapped places with her sister, didn't know how many times she would have willingly given her own life for Serah.

"The problem is... you already thought you did." The wry comment made her glance up, finally. She didn't know how much of her thoughts she'd voiced aloud in her current state, but if Snow was able to piece together that reply, then she had to have said something. He was still just a bit more than a foot away from her, looking at her with his own eyes full of sadness. "Look, Sis. We all know what you did for her. I couldn't have done more if it were me... but you're missing the point here. The point is... she loved you as much as you loved her. That's what motivated her to summon her Eidolon to save you, because I know she didn't want to see you getting hurt again because of her. So... it's not your fault, okay? Stop beating yourself up and start living again."

Backing away from him, slowly, unsteadily rising to her feet, Lightning found herself holding her blanket to her tighter than she had been before, sinking back into her spot at the window. Raising her tired blue eyes, she saw Hope standing awkwardly to one side, perched on the edge of one of the sofas. At first, she didn't understand his apprehensive, scared look, until she realized that he was scared Snow's words were going to push her over the mental boundary again. Snow had pulled himself into a standing position again, and she shrank back against the window, seeing him look down at her once more. Looking inside, Lightning realized that she still felt pain, and she still felt empty, but...

_But Snow... what he said... is the one thing I want to believe. _She wanted to believe it so badly, that Serah's death wasn't her fault, that her sister's death had been... It made her realize just how pathetic she was when she knew she couldn't believe that. No matter what anyone else said or thought, Lightning knew that she would never stop thinking about how she could have done more to protect her sister. A small rustle - a new sound, came from her left.

"Light?" Hope's voice was tentative yet strong at the same time, like he was sure of what he was going to say, only that he wasn't sure of how she was going to react to it. Slowly, she forced herself to look at him, watching wearily as he approached her, finally settling himself at her knees. "I know... You'll never stop thinking about it. But you can't let it control your life. Remember? How you live is up to you... are you really going to let this be the one thing that pushes you down every time? Death is hard... and none of us will forget Serah. But if you never let yourself move on... how are you going to find something that will make it better?"

Finally, finally, she felt Hope's last words make something inside snap, and the instant rush of tears that she could no longer hold back came. Feeling them on her cheeks and on her skin, Lightning let herself cry, let the part of her she'd always kept hidden away take control, letting the emotion completely override her when she stopped trying to forget the pain and the emptiness and just let it go. _Serah, I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I want to know that wherever you are, you're happy. That... that I... That I tried to protect you. _But this time, instead of the tears only serving as a silent expression of the pain she could no longer accept, she let the tears become her outlet. The sob was wrenched from her lips, but this time, she didn't try to hold it back.

She felt someone's hand tighten on hers, and she heard Hope's soft voice. "Let it out... We can only help you if you let us know you're in pain." Against what she had been taught, and against what her instinct told her to do, she let her emotions become her complete exterior, finally exposing her inner fragility now that her outer, cold exterior could no longer deal with the reality she had to face. _When Claire couldn't handle things anymore... she gave in to Lightning. But when something came along that Lightning couldn't deal with... maybe it's time to try to let Claire accept what Lightning couldn't. _The thought was arbitrary, but right now, she could think of no other alternative, no other solution to the storm of emotions that was still raging inside.

So when Hope gently pulled his arms around her, slipping past her waist under the blanket that was still around her shoulders, his hands meeting in between her shoulder blades, she didn't just accept his embrace - she returned it, pulling her arms around his middle, feeling his hair tickle her skin just underneath her chin. Closing her eyes, Lightning let herself go in that moment, letting herself feel the emotions she'd tried to hide from.

There was no way to ever let go of all the pain of Serah's death, and she knew she would have to accept that. She tried to let Hope and Snow's words sink into her, that life went on, even without Serah. That even without Serah, she could continue to exist in a way that didn't involve her being buried in grief and torment. It wasn't easy... it was never _going_ to be easy, but she tried to let it sink in. She tried to brand it into her mind that no matter what she did, no matter how much she grieved and hated herself, Serah was never coming back. The thought still made her feel empty, even with Hope's promise that there _was_ something else to live for.

She would have to find it, and Lightning tried to make that her new mentality, her new inner purpose. _To find something... I want to live for._ Impossible as it sounded, she knew she would have to do it. Even if it took her the rest of her life to find, she knew she had to find some way to keep going... For once, Snow was right. Life went on, whether she liked it or not... even without her sister. Even if she _had_ failed to protect her.

_You _do_ have someone else to fight for._

The small thought wormed its way into her mind when she thought about protecting people. _Hope._ He'd stayed with her, tried to comfort her, even in her worst moments of depression, even when she screamed and fought against his help. The warm embrace pressed against her reminded her that he was still someone she needed to protect... _He's still..._ The older confusion about _them_ couldn't help but make a small reappearance. She still didn't know what they were supposed to be, but inexorably, she found that the weeks he'd stayed with her - even though she wasn't conscious or aware for most of it - had driven them closer. The way she instinctively reached out for him when she needed someone... The mutual need had driven them together, and it was present even in _this_ embrace. The warmth and support that it provided was something she needed desperately... and Lightning knew she wouldn't be the first to pull away.

It was a long time before they finally let go, before she finally found herself looking into his emerald green eyes, finding a shy relief in his verdant gaze. Snow had a sad, indulgent smile on his face - perhaps he was thinking about Serah, and instantly, she felt guilty again, the pain rushing in to refill the space that the few moments of comfort the embrace had given her. But this time, instead of letting it overrun her feelings, she fought back, trying to push it away, knowing that was what she should be trying to do. It remained a dull ache, but this time, taking a breath, Lightning realized that with their words, she was finally able to see past it somewhat, to not let it crowd into everything she did.

"I hate to break such an emotional moment... but we, er... have somewhere to be." Snow's voice still sounded distant and hollow, but she tried to focus on it, tried to find the soldier sense that had left her in the weeks since Serah's death.

"What?"

Snow scrutinized her for a few heartbeats before cracking his knuckles. "Apparently those creeps are attacking Eden. The commanding officer at the Corps Building wanted me to bring you to Command."

Closing her eyes, Lightning tried not to let the simple sentence get to her. It was so, so hard not to just give into the pain that still clawed at her interior, especially when Snow had mentioned it was _them_. The subtle implication of the request to 'bring her' made its way into her mind, and suddenly, she felt as scared of what was going to come as she'd ever been. _I... I'm not ready to fight..._

"Sis... I know it's gonna be hard. But we're not going to go to Eden. He just wanted me to bring you, aight?" The big blond's voice was burly, but it held uncharacteristic concern. Trying to suppress the panic that was starting to rise again, Lightning took a breath, fighting the indecision and irrational anguish that came with the request. _It's just a... I don't have to..._ She didn't trust herself enough to speak, instead - she gave Snow a soundless nod.

His face cracked into a small, sad smile. "Thanks, Sis. Go, uh... get yourself cleaned up and, well, I'll show you something before we leave." Slowly, she pulled herself to her feet, accepting Hope's subtle offer of support. When she staggered a little standing up, she saw him look at her with renewed concern.

"Do you need help going up the stairs?"

Hope's request had caught her off guard, and for a moment, Lightning didn't know what to say. Slowly raising a hand to press against her face, she tried to push away the onslaught of emotions the simple question had managed to trigger. She didn't know whether she was supposed to push away the request or to feel appreciated enough that he cared. The thought that he cared brought on a painful echo. _It's something... Serah would have asked._ The thought of Serah made her reject, internally, the offer of help.

"No. I-I'll be okay." For the first time since she'd gotten home, she set her eyes on the stairs to the upper level of the house, suddenly daunted by their height even though they were familiar.

"Your other stuff is in your room, Sis!" Snow called after her. Her ascent up the carpeted stairs were slow, and Lightning felt out of breath when she finally reached the top. The upper level of the house felt hauntingly empty - it was exactly as she remembered as they'd left it before leaving, and suddenly, that thought was overwhelming. _Serah..._ Pushing the flash of emotions and memories away, she made her way to the bathroom, flicking on a light with trembling fingers.

It had been awhile since she'd looked at herself in a mirror, but even _she_ hadn't expected the creature in front of her in the reflective surface. Dull pink hair tangled into knots, pale skin stretched tightly over her cheeks, contrasting horribly with the black tank top, and dark, purplish shadows under her eyes. What bothered her what that the sight of her own image didn't disturb her as much as she thought it would. Slowly pressing still shaking hands to the mirror, Lightning took a breath, trying to calm the sudden onrush of painful emotions that threatened to snap the delicate emotional balance that she had barely managed to maintain.

Splashing water on her face helped, and slowly, she pulled a comb through the petal pink tendrils, undoing the worst of the knots. There wasn't really anything to be done about her skin; leaving the bathroom, Lightning unsteadily made her way into her room, hesitantly opening the door, suddenly unsure of what to expect, doubt twisting her stomach into a nervous knot.

The first thing that leapt out at her was the sight of a silver curved blade lying on top of a neatly folded pile of cloth on her bed, the shiny edge touched into a golden rosiness in the sunset. The sight of her survival knife sent every single carefully controlled emotion into overdrive, sending her crashing to her knees, one arm wrapped around her middle, the other palm flat against the floorboards. _No... No! _

The one small weapon embodied everything... every single thing she'd done wrong with Serah, every single bitter and painful regret, and Lightning felt the familiar tidal wave of pain and hollowness wrack her slender frame. The palm flat on the floor curled into a fist as she tried to control it, tried to not let the pain become everything again, but there were only a few heartbeats between her own desperate struggle against it and the time it took for the inner anguish to actually take control, wrestling a pained cry from her lips. She heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs, and the door to her room banged open not ten seconds later.

Slowly, Hope's hands found hers, and she allowed him to pull her into a kneeling position, no longer on her hands and feet on the ground. Feeling her heartbeat in her throat, and the breathing that was too heavy, Lightning tried to find the one stationary thing in her room, to give her something else to try to focus on. She found it a few moments later, fixing her gaze on the heavy wine coloured curtain dangling from the large window just across the room from her, trying to use the texture of the inert fabric as a metronome for her breathing.

"Light... are you okay?" His voice sounded scared and apprehensive, and she realized it was because she was staring at the maroon material across the room. She took another breath before looking at him, trying to push down the panicked hurt that had come so quickly at such a small trigger.

"Sorry..." The word slipped out before she could stop it, and she saw him stare at her, confusion and fear in his green eyes. Before he could say anything, the rest of her vulnerability came out. "Hope... I'm sorry... I-I'm not the person you wanted me to be... I'm not the person you looked up to." It was suddenly hard to push words out of her throat, feeling like every letter tore at the back of it. "I know you wanted to help me, and I..." And this time, try as she might, the tears came anyways.

He was still on his knees beside her, but the first gentle touch at her face, pushing away the wet trails that the tears left, still surprised her. But instead of the touch feeling invasive and offending, instead of slapping the contact away like the old Lightning might have, she found that she _wanted_ him to comfort her. The touch was so light it might have been phantom, but it was there, and instead of anger at his hands, she could only find an embarrassed warmth, but the latter was definitely the dominant part of the gesture, and it was proven when he removed his fingers - she felt an abandoned coldness where there had been contact just a moment before.

He scooted until he was just in front of her, his hands now awkwardly in front of him, but she found herself holding his gaze. Lightning realized she was waiting for him to say something... she found that she _wanted_ the comfort she knew he was going to give.

"Don't. Don't go there, alright?" She found her hands captive in his again, but this time, she made no move to wrench herself away. "Light... I need you just as much, alright? So... like Snow said, stop hating yourself, stop blaming yourself. Move forwards, not back... okay?"

This time, the embrace was mutual. Both of them on their knees, there wasn't much of a height difference as she found his arms pull around her back, brushing the ends of her cherry coloured hair while hers grazed the thin, filmy fabric of the teal scarf. Only this time, it wasn't just her looking for comfort - she felt him drop his head onto her shoulder, his cheek pressed against the bare skin not covered by the tank top.

"Light... don't leave again... okay? I was scared too... I thought I'd lose you because you wouldn't ever come back..." His voice trailed off, and she could feel the vibration of his voice against her frame. Slowly, she allowed the embrace to tighten for a few heartbeats that might have lasted only a fraction of that, or maybe something much, much longer, before she pulled back to look at him, their arms still wrapped loosely around each other.

"I'll try," she whispered quietly before she saw a small smile finally twitch at his lips. For some reason, the expression tugged at something inside, feeling warmth creep up both her neck and somewhere deep inside. Unsteadily rising to her feet again, she found herself unconsciously brushing away a stray silver tendril of hair that had fallen into his eyes sometime during their embrace. He cast her an awkward glance before edging his way to the door, murmuring one last comment before he shut it behind him, seeing that she now looked okay.

"I'll make you some food... okay? You have to eat it."

The comment had almost made her want to laugh a little, before the familiar emptiness had rushed in when the warmth was gone. Wearily, Lightning pulled off the thin black tank top, and the sight of the pink scar, still pulled together in some places with black thread, just above her silver navel piercing that was mirrored on both her abdomen and back almost made her feel sick again. _Like... like a reminder of Serah I'll always carry._

Before the forlornness of that thought could totally consume her, she found herself forcing it away, fighting the panic and pain it brought. _I just promised... I'd try to keep living. Not existing. Living. _Sliding back the closet, she reached for one of the spare uniform overcoats she kept in there, surprised to find that her fingers were shaking.

_No. I can't keep... _Actually pulling it over her head made some of that uncertainty go away as she slowly pulled the leather clasp tight just underneath the metal ribbing of her bra. Slowly inhaling, it was awhile before she pulled on the rest of the uniform. Her hands were still trembling when she reached for the survival knife; closing her hands around it, she held it to her chest for a few long moments. _Serah... I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you... But I promise... I promise that I'll finish what we started. Even if we never meet again in this lifetime or the next... I promise. _

Her own vow was bittersweet, laced with the memories and images her mind was unable to let go of. It hurt... it would still hurt, and would forever hurt that Serah was gone. She was never going to 'let go' of the pain... and Maker knew she would never forget. _But... I think... I think there _is_ a way to keep living, even with the pain. Even if my actions don't feel like they have much meaning now... it's better than just... existing._

Slowly, unsurely, she made her way downstairs, feeling shyly glad that once again, Hope had allowed her to find some delicate balance between the grief and what she needed to do... to keep living.

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><p>Hope strained his ears for the sounds of Lightning finally coming downstairs as he squished together the last of what he had been planning to give to her. She hadn't eaten much since... well, since Serah had died, and she'd come off looking worse for it. The embrace they'd shared in her room was still fresh in his mind, and he suppressed a small smile.<p>

_She's finally..._ It would be awhile before she was 'herself' again - he'd seen just how quickly she could snap at the smallest of a trigger, and briefly, Hope wondered if she would _ever_ be 'herself' again. _But I can't stop trying._ He felt the familiar warmth spread throughout him at the thought of his attempts to get her to finally open up... to finally let out her pain. The embraces had been genuine, that much was for sure. How she felt beyond that, he didn't know. _And I don't... I wouldn't ever push her for that._ His newfound understanding of her feelings and thought processes was like a small, appreciated reward on top of their newly realized closeness.

He heard a snicker behind him, and instantly, Hope pushed down the feelings. If there was one thing he didn't want to be caught doing, it was blushing in front of Snow.

"You sure Sis will eat that?" The question was genuine, and Hope turned, finding the big man looking greedily at the sandwich. "Cause if she doesn't... I will."

Hope let out a small chuckle at the thought. _It's so... Snow._ But the big man wasn't done yet. "Looks like something... Serah would have made." There was a wistful, sad tone in his voice now, and Hope flinched - if Lightning happened to come down the stairs and she heard that... Snow caught the look on his face.

"I know... I know. But I can't help but think about her. She's everywhere in here." There was a small pause. "I mean... I'll never stop grieving for her, and I'll never forget about her, but you know? It's easier to think about her when you think about what you had... not what's gone. You think about the happy times, not what you'll be missing out on. I think... that's what's made things easier for me to deal with, to think about happy times."

It was then that Hope realized that Snow would never move on from Serah either. He'd never expected the bigger man to, never expected him to let go of the girl he'd fought so hard to save. But Snow had found a healthier way to think about her than Lightning had, and briefly, Hope wondered if she would ever think about her sister's death like that. _Snow... has always been Snow. Always finding optimistic ways to think about things. But Light..._

Further discussion that might have occurred was abruptly cut off when they both heard the slow, unsteady footsteps on the stairs, and Hope saw Snow close his lips.

_Well... here goes nothing._

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><p>Finding herself standing underneath the breezy sunset sky, at first, Lightning had no idea why Snow wanted her to come out to the backyard. She'd eaten what Hope had insisted she had, neglecting to tell him that still, whatever she ate tasted, no matter what it was, like sawdust. Even now, even when she'd finally managed to find some balance between grief and the present, there were things that she just simply 'went through the motions' with. Eating was one of them.<p>

She'd taken the hand Hope had offered her, both needing the support and needing the comfort when she had slowly processed that he knew what Snow was planning. She let him lead her to where the big man was standing, silhouetted darkly into the setting sun. Snow moved aside when she approached with Hope, his expression sombre, but otherwise unreadable.

"Here." she heard him murmur quietly to her. "This is where..." His voice broke off suddenly, and she saw him look to the ground.

Just behind him was a tree. Not just any tree... the tree that her sister loved so much, and suddenly, she knew where 'here' was. There was only one place this could be.

The same rush of emotions came, just as harshly and as quickly as they ever had. Hope's hand tightened on hers, and she realized that she must have flinched or otherwise tensed when the realization had hit her. But this time, here, she found that she was able to control it... for the first time. Slowly disentangling her fingers from Hope's she moved forwards.

No one moved to stop her, as she rested both hands on the slender trunk.

_Serah._

There wasn't anything else she could feel, but this time, it felt okay to be feeling that way. _I promise..._ A small pink blossom drifted past her, caught by the wind, and she watched it as it landed at the base of the trunk on the earth, left bare underneath the roots. Trying to control the momentous feelings, she tried to both push down and express the emotions that came. She managed to choke out one simple phrase, one that she hoped would express how she felt to both Snow and Hope.

"Thank you."

__Everyday we just keep going through the motions  
>and we don't know why<br>_Seems like we never stop to take the time to know  
>this life as it goes by<em>__

____But there's a whole world out there,  
>it's a miracle to see<em>.___

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><p><strong>So. Wow. I really, really, really hope that I pulled this chapter off. I have nothing to say other than the fact that I hope I got HxL right. *bites nails* My only request is... please leave love if you think I did okay. I'll just have to head off to bed with the thought that I could have done much much worse than I did.<br>**

**Hearts!  
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	49. Reason to Fight

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3**

**Once again, I could not have made it this far without all of my supporters: Erifrats101 (awh, thank you so much!), OscarMerrinoz96, Crystal, Lightarcana, GCFarron (and no, thank you. You've been such an awesome supporter!), H-thar (fangirls are win... don't ever doubt the power of fangirling), That One Reviewee (haha... you have no idea how stressed I was to get that English minor of mine... -.-), thewhitespirit (no, she's not. We just know each other offsite and well... let's just say crazy ideas emerge when you throw two rabid Lightning fangirls with enormous imaginations together), Zapper90, and Mylaervain (yes... she is. Slowly). You guys are amazing, and as always, hearts to my muse, LadyAlaska.  
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**I endeavored hard to get this chapter up today, just because, well, you'll see at the ending A/N. Like with last chapter, I really, really hope everything came off alright. I tried hard to get their emotions right, and well... *proceeds to go hide in her corner now* Enjoy as always, though.  
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><p><span>Chapter 49: Reason to Fight<span>

The hallways were ominously silent as Hope followed Snow down the corridor to Command. He'd been here enough times to know his way around now, but without the usual pandemonium of soldiers, the place felt lifeless and unnerving. Casting a glance behind him, Hope felt a small twinge of unease, even though Lightning was managing to keep up with them. The expression on her face was unreadable but, to him, it appeared as if she was carefully trying to keep it neutral. He resisted the urge to ask her if she was okay - he had a feeling she wouldn't be grateful for such a question at the moment.

Snow had stopped in front of a door, scratching his chin. "So, we up for this?" Hope saw the big blond look over his head, clearly, he was trying to discern whether Lightning was in enough of a competent mental state to be meeting with the officer. He lowered his voice. "Sis, you okay?" Hope turned to see her look up, closing her eyes for a moment before replying.

"I... think so." Her voice held none of its usual crispness, and he could tell she was fighting to keep it steady. _Maker, I don't even want to know what being back here, knowing we all want her to fight, must be doing to her._ She'd taken her gunblade along with her, but only because they'd forced her to. She hadn't touched it once since sliding it into its holster, and he could see the fingers of her right hand limp at her side. Snow gave a barely audible sigh before rubbing his gloved hand across his forehead.

"Alright, Sis... whatever you say. You need to tell us, though, if it's too much, got it?"

Hope appreciated those words, but whether she would actually follow through with them was a different matter. _Light... _As Snow pushed open the door, he felt her pass him, her head slightly bowed, letting pink bangs fall into her face. One look at her unsettled aqua eyes, and he knew she was trying to fight the internal demons again. _Only this time... she has to win._ The thought made him feel as useless and as scared as ever - he could comfort and support her all she wanted, but in the end, whether she won or not was still, ultimately decided by her. _She can't leave now... please Maker, no. _

There wasn't time to say anything to her before the officer in question came up to Snow, boots clunking on the hard surface of the ground. From where he was standing, Hope couldn't hear the words they were saying - the only thing he could hear was Lightning's breathing, and he could tell she was fighting to keep that steady too. He resisted the urge to reach out to her; this wasn't the time to make her look weak when she needed to look strong. He knew he'd made the right decision when the officer approached them, clearly scrutinizing the pink haired soldier in front of him. Hope saw a mixture of surprise, doubt, and apprehension cross the steel grey eyes. Looking back at Lightning, he saw that she had raised her head, looking up now.

"Sir." The word was lifeless, professional, and devoid of emotion. Maybe that was how she wanted to sound like, but Hope could detect the slight tremor in her voice. He turned back to see some of the doubt beginning to fade from the officer's eyes as he offered her a hand.

"Sgt. Farron. It's nice to finally meet you... though I regret the circumstances we have to meet in. Col. Rockefeller."

She took the offered hand, but her unsteady, trembling fingers caught Hope's eye. "It's nice to meet you too." Her flat voice was barely above a low murmur, and he saw the man look at her with renewed criticality. Hope could imagine the train of thought in the commanding officer's head when he looked at her: a slender, barely-out-of-the-hospital young woman who was still so obviously struggling with internal conflicts. Casting a dubious look at Snow, who winced, the man led them over to a table sprawled with digital maps and papers.

"Here's what's happening at the moment, from what we can gather from our forces in Eden: they're trying to overrun the city, trying to horde all the citizens into a southernly direction, towards us. Now, obviously, we know that their point of "attack", so to speak, is Cocoon, so their goal is to push as many people into the Eclipse's projected umbra." Hope shot a glance at Lightning, who had one hand rested under her chin, pink bangs once again obscuring most of her face. If she felt surprised at the revelations, she didn't show it; in fact, her couldn't tell what she was thinking. The man continued, jabbing his finger into a spot on one of the digital maps. "Our forces are here, trying to hold them back, but obviously it's difficult - they have magic and manadrives... much more than we do. Your friend, Sazh Katzroy, is currently with the rest of our limited airforce, trying to take out their factories we've discovered at various spots in the interior of Gran Pulse."

Hope heard Snow crack his knuckles. "So. What are we supposed to be doing here?"

The colonel chuckled. "Well, we've only got reserve forces in New Bodhum right now... and I hear the three of you have some... 'special powers'? Something that renders their manadrives useless?" Snow let out a laugh.

"Well... you _could_ put it that way." Hope narrowed his eyes - clearly, the colonel didn't know they were l'Cie... or at least that fact hadn't been confirmed. He had a nasty suspicion that the man knew, though. But it no longer scared him, nor did it bother him, that they were still Pulse l'Cie - ever since Cocoon had been grounded, there had been no more hatred or fear of any mention of Pulse. It wasn't any more of a desirable fate, but there were less opportunities on Pulse to be branded a l'Cie, and the general phobia had begun to dissipate.

"Well then... I'm asking you to help with the forces here. Is that alright?" Hope heard Snow chuckle again.

"I've been waiting to get my hands on those creeps since Maker knows when." He sounded as confident and determined as ever, and Hope didn't doubt it. Snow was Snow.

The sound of fading footsteps surprised him, as Hope looked up from the sprawl of maps and papers on the tabletop, to see that the officer had moved away from them, looking through one of the supply cabinets that lined the sides of the rooms.

"Excellent. I'll leave the details of what you're going to do up to some of the officers in the field already. Snow, you already have a pager - we'll keep in touch that way." There was a pause. "One more thing." Returning to the table, the man paused beside Lightning, and Hope saw her raise her head, pushing pink bangs out of her face. He held out something to her Hope couldn't see over her shoulder. "We were asked by Pulse Management to promote you, due to the shortage of soldiers after the last attack, and you came by on a recommendation. So... congratulations, Lt. Farron."

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><p>Lightning stared at the pauldron he offered her, unable to raise a hand to take it. <em>I don't<em> _want..._ She felt frozen to the spot, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to scream her denial at what was before her. She'd already noticed the suspicion and doubt with which the officer had looked at her, and if she was honest with herself, she didn't blame him.

_If I were him... I wouldn't be promoting me. I'd be firing me._

She _knew_ she looked like a mess right now, _k__new exactly_ how unprepared she was for all of this, and all she could feel was that she wanted to get out. It had been hard just entering the Corps Building... it had been hard to set foot in it without feeling the fear and anxiety threaten to consume her. She'd had to fight the urge to just run from the building; unable to stop shaking, she could barely respond to the questions. And she couldn't bring herself to take what the colonel had offered her. _I just can't..._

Clearly, he hadn't been expecting her to hesitate, hadn't expected the person he was supposed to promote to be _her._ She could imagine exactly what she looked and sounded like to him. _So stop... trying to make me..._

"Light?" Hope's apprehensive voice came from beside her shoulder, and she realized he was gently holding her arm. She hadn't noticed how badly it had been shaking. "Light... you're okay, right?"

_No, I'm not..._

Taking a breath to try and calm herself, Lightning forced her numb, stiff fingers to rise and take the olive green pauldron from the man's hands. "I... I'm okay." It took several more breaths before she could look up, trying hard to keep her voice from shaking. "Thank you."

She wanted to run right then and there.

It wasn't that she didn't _appreciate_ the gesture, it was that she knew she could never fight the way she had ever again. She'd turned to being a soldier, turned to fighting back because of Serah. Joining the military had been their one ticket out of poverty and the orphanage she _knew_ awaited Serah if she couldn't support them both, but her own desire to fight had... _Not only did I send Cocoon crashing onto Pulse, but Serah's... Serah's..._

Ironically, her will to fight had indirectly caused Serah's death. She hadn't been strong enough, she hadn't... _No.__ I have... to stop thinking like this._ Trying to discipline herself only backhanded her with the realization of just how pathetic she was. She'd promised to fight, she'd promised that she would finish what they'd started, and all of that will had quite literally evaporated the moment she'd stepped into the stark reminder of her previous life and was faced with the one thing she was scared of doing. It wasn't that she _couldn't_ fight, it was that... _I don't help anyone... by fighting. I'm not the person they want to rely on..._

She didn't want to be responsible again.

It wasn't until Snow gave her a rough push that she realized they were leaving. Stumbling after him, Lightning felt her fingers tighten on the leather thing in her hand as she followed him out of the room. Seeing the scared glances Hope and Snow were giving her, she tried, once again, unsuccessfully, to control the breathing that was threatening to turn into dry heaves. _I just don't... want to fight anymore... I don't want..._ She didn't want to ever feel that she'd let someone down because she'd chosen to fight. _I don't want to watch someone else die because I wasn't strong enough, because I couldn't protect them. _

They were outside in the rapidly cooling night air before Lightning realized that they'd left the building, but now, even away from the place, she didn't feel any more calm. The familiar pain and emptiness was threatening to crack the exterior she'd managed to maintain and the only thought that suppressed the rising storm inside was that she didn't want to break down in the middle of the street. Away from the public view, she found that Snow had pushed her down onto a bench in the nearby park and that Hope had settled himself beside her.

"Sis... I'm really, really sorry," he began quietly. "I had no idea he was going to promote you. If I had, I would have told him not to." There was a pause as Hope slipped his fingers into hers, and she found herself holding them back. "Look, Sis... you should have said something."

Finally, she forced herself to look up at him, finding only concern in the ocean blue eyes. _I know I'm pathetic... when Snow has to apologize to me for something he thinks he did. _It was hard to choke the words past her suddenly tight throat. "It's just... I don't want to fight. Ever again." The words sounded as pathetic as she felt when the last syllable attempted to stifle a whimper.

"Why not? You do... want to finish this, don't you?" She knew Snow's question was genuine, but it hurt regardless.

"I know that!" Her first words were more forceful before she felt the spark of anger die into the endless emptiness that it left. "It's... Serah _died_ because of my decision to fight... Serah died because I couldn't protect her. I don't want..."

Hope's fingers were suddenly clenched too hard against hers, as she tried to pull away. A rough grasp on her shoulders suddenly made her look up again. "Sis... you're going there again. _No_. Stop blaming yourself... how many times do we have to tell you?"

Lightning knew just how pitiful she was when she realized, that once again, she _wanted_ to believe them. Just like she wanted to believe that Serah's death wasn't her fault, just as she wanted to believe that there was something in life beyond Serah's death... she wanted to believe that fighting again wasn't going to hurt anyone else.

"Light... just think about how many people you've saved before you start thinking like that. Remember? Look forward... not back." Hope's quiet voice sounded beside her, and slowly, she turned to face him. His green eyes fixed on her own, and he let her take in what he said before ploughing on. "Don't feel like you've failed everyone... okay?"

_You... have no idea how much... Because that's exactly what I've done. Failed everyone. _She'd let Serah die, she'd let her own depression and fears cripple her to the point where Hope had thought she was lost forever in the yawning bottomless ditch of painful memories, and now... _And now I'm just... backing out of the one thing I promised everyone I'd try to do._ Gently, she let Hope grip her other arm with his free hand. "You're not a failure... okay?"

It would be awhile before she composed herself enough to piece together a coherent response that seemed to balance her need of not scaring him again, and the request they'd made of her earlier of letting them know, her voice a small, defeated murmur. "I'll try to keep that in mind." As if to prove her point, Lightning pushed herself into a standing position again, the hand that was holding her new pauldron limp at one side. Even after what they'd said, she still couldn't bring herself to wear it, and she let Snow pry it from her fingers without resistance.

"Impressive, Sis." He smirked at her. "Wanna let me borrow it if you don't want it?" Once again, feeling for the first time since Serah's death, she found herself fighting a small spike of irritation at Snow, and she felt a small smile twitch at her lips when she saw him looking devilishly down at her. "Ha!" he crowed at her. "I made you laugh! Admit it, Sis."

He let her pull the pauldron back without much of a fight before she took a small step away from him. "No, you didn't."

His laughter was still prominent as they started on their way to the top of a hill where they could overlook Cocoon, as Snow had suggested, while they waited for more orders. She didn't know what it was, but for some reason, hearing him laugh didn't bother her as much as it should have, and when Hope slipped his hand into hers again, she didn't make an attempt to push him away. _Maybe..._

She found herself holding his fingers back, almost like a reflex. It seemed to be the right thing to do now, whenever that contact occurred. It _felt_ like the right thing to do, even if the familiar flicker of heat on her throat and cheeks came when she thought, _really _thought about what they were doing. She was surprised to find that it didn't bother her as much as it used to - maybe it was because she had already accepted that she couldn't have made it this far without him... maybe it was because she had realized she needed him as much as he had needed her.

Whatever it was... she had felt that part of her inhibitions fade away the moment she had allowed him to put her necklace back on her. So when they stopped at the top of one of the many grassy hills that overlooked the city - one with a clear view of the glowing crystal shell of Cocoon - for some reason, she didn't pull away when he rested his head on her shoulder again. The contact should have sent her turning away, but that was a reaction the old Lightning might have made, in a world where Serah still existed.

Instead, she found herself shyly enjoying the warmth their contact provided - the feeling was strong enough to push away some of the thistles that still pressed against her interior. Snow had purposefully sat a few feet in front of them; she could only see the top of his black bandanna from where she was sitting.

"Light?" The question was demure, almost frightened, and she could only muster a small hum in response, unsure of what she wanted and unsure, already, of how she was going to respond. "You're... you're okay, right?" He was scared again, but this time, she didn't see why she had to hide from him. He'd already seen her depression and fear at its worst.

"I... don't know." It was the honest answer, and she felt him flinch, moving his head off her shoulder and fixing her with an intense emerald gaze that she could see, even in the sparse lighting provided by the waning moon and the swath of stars overhead.

"You have to be... don't stop trying." It was almost a plea. "I need you too..."

Lightning didn't know how to respond. "I told you... I'd try. Okay?" It was the only response she thought she could give. She saw him nod in the moonlight.

"Promise?"

Another promise. It seemed like there was nothing for her to do but promise, and once upon a time, she might have said yes without fully thinking about the consequences. When she'd promised before, she had never once considered the possibility that the words might have been affected by another force. _When I promised Serah... I never thought that I'd break it... I never thought that she'd die..._ But this time, the words hurt almost as much as if they'd been wounds. _Can I really keep it... if I do promise?_ She couldn't. She couldn't guarantee it.

"I... I'll try." The response was utterly lacking, utterly inadequate, but it was the most she could do. It was the most she could say without giving into the inner strife again. When Hope didn't say anything, at first, she thought it was because she couldn't agree to more, because she couldn't give him the guarantee she knew he was looking for. Instead, she found, for the first time, pain in his expression. "What... what's wrong?" The concern overrode her own fears as her voice caught.

He didn't reply for awhile, as if picking the words carefully. "It's just... I know you've been through a lot. I know you're still hurting... and all I can think about is... Light, I'm still scared. I thought you weren't going to get better... I thought..."

_You thought I'd be... like that... forever, didn't you?_

"I still need you." The quiet admission was almost embarrassed. "So... please?"

Slowly, she reached out a hand, gently poking him in the forehead, the way she'd done so long ago in Palumpolum. The sunset of the calm ocean waves felt like they had been a million lifetimes ago, even though in real time, it hadn't been too long ago at all. "I'll try... to keep that in mind." The small, timid smile that was returned to her felt more empowering than anything that had been said to her all day, outstripping the piece of leather that she still held in one hand. She let Hope pry it from her fingers, and in the moment in which warmth had temporarily pushed away the emptiness inside, she let him pull off her old one and replace it.

"There," she heard him murmur with a small tone of triumph in his voice. "Congrats... Lt. Farron."

Before she was sure whether to feel embarrassed or hurt by the simple statement, she heard Snow curse loudly into his pager as he scrambled to his feet, shredding long blades of grass underneath his boots.

"Crap! Sis, Hope, let's get moving!" Hope's platinum head snapped up the moment he heard the urgency in Snow's tone. She was a little slower on the uptake, unsteadily rising to her feet. The sudden urge to reach for her gunblade was stalled by the utter terror that seized her at the thought of wielding a weapon again.

"What?" Hope asked the question that had died in her throat the moment her instinct clashed with the newfound onslaught of emotions. Even in the dim lighting she could see that his expression was unusually grave, and it was awhile before she processed his response in her mind.

"They've figured out the date for the Eclipse. It's... it's seven days from now. That's when the shadow will cover the moon, the once-in-a-hundred years event. And those creeps are on their way here, to Cocoon, _right now._ Apparently we're going to go to stop them. One of the commanding officers in the hills wants us there, pronto."

Trying to comprehend the enormity of the request was impossible, and for a moment, Lightning wanted to run and hide again. Only this time, some other sense pushed the desire away, pushed the torment of that thought away. The other sense was tied, undeniably, to Hope. It had taken her awhile to realize, just like her last revelation, but she knew now that undeniably, she didn't want to see him get hurt. _I can't lose someone else... like I did Serah._ That thought alone was enough to push enough cottonballs out of her mind and enough emptiness and pain away from her interior to keep her going, to keep her standing.

Slowly, she allowed herself to push her body into a slow run after Snow, who was clearly waiting for her to make a reaction, and Hope, who had looked relieved when she started in their direction. It still hurt a little to run - it pulled somewhat at the stitches that were still part of her skin, but that... she could deal with. It was neither something that was excruciating nor unbearable, a first in many ways. But that wasn't what surprised her.

What surprised her was the fact that in the face of what was happening, she seemed to have found a new purpose. And just like Hope had promised, that new purpose pushed away some of the lingering depression and fear that still stubbornly clung to her, filling her with a cold determination in stead of the lonely emptiness it had replaced, and that feeling was infinitely easier for her to accept and comprehend than the emptiness that left her feeling hopeless, unable to even begin to start trying to work her way around it.

_Maybe..._

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><p><strong>Huh. A shorter chapter for once, but nowhere less deep in the character development pocket. I think I've done more character emotionsdevelopment in the last week than I have this entire fic... Don't worry though, I'm fairly sure that it's pretty obvious we go back to some of the action in the next chapter. *wiggles fingers* Can Hopekins get Light to pick up her weapon again? **

**Anyways, once again, if you think I did alright (*is still hiding in her corner*)... please leave love in a review, and I'll see you guys next time! I don't think I'll have the next chapter up before Wednesday afternoon just because I have work tomorrow, and we're going to someplace on Tuesday my mom has yet to inform me of. -.- So yeah, sorry about that...  
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**Hearts!  
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	50. Ash Like Snow

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! (:**

**First off, I'd like to apologize for the dry spell of updates in the last few days... the last time I updated was Sunday evening as you all know, and it's Wednesday today. D: My mom dragged me off yesterday for some errands and it was really, really, late when I got home. Anyways, enough about my personal life. Once again, thanks to: Lightarcana, thewhitespirit, GCFarron, OscarMerrinoz96, Mylaervain, Crystal, and H-thar (aha, I did not know that, but that _is_ cute!). And of course, hearts to LadyAlaska. (And I'm _sorry!_ We decided on the kind already though over FB... PB&J~ n_n)**

**And so yeah, now that I'm back... I can shut up now and let you in on the chapter I know you've been waiting for. I know I promised action last chapter, and there is some of it, but I realized (once again too late) that there's still heavy character development in this chapter. I don't know whether that's good or bad... :/ Anyways, enjoy as always! **

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><p><span>Chapter 50: Ash Like Snow<span>

The ground crunched underneath her feet as Lightning pushed herself up the rocky ledges of the hills that were scattered around New Bodhum. Snow was up ahead, muttering away into his pager, and she'd insisted Hope stay ahead of her. Her breath caught on the stitches in her abdomen every few steps or so - it pulled a little, but she thought she could deal with it, as long as they didn't climb too high. It wasn't that she couldn't use the support, it was that she needed some time alone to adjust, to try and wrap her still fuzzy mind around the concept of fighting again. _Can I really..._

She didn't know anymore. She no longer had any idea about how her actions would affect the future, would affect the people she loved. Once upon a time, the old Lightning might not have cared, might not have stopped to think about what she was doing before she moved in to attack everything that got in her way and everything that upset her. But she could no longer do that... she could no longer think that way and hope that things would be okay. She could no longer fight and think that fighting, that distancing herself from everything that irritated her, would be the solution to everything. _Because... I know... I know it's not. _

Lightning was as sure of that as she was that she couldn't survive alone. However much she had scorned human relationships, human companionships in the past, however much she insisted she was a one woman army... reality had slapped her in the face when Serah had died. In that one moment, it felt like everything that she'd ever fought for had been severed in one simple snip, like the balloon that floated up into the air when its string that held it to earth was broken. And just like her, it couldn't hold its intangibly beautiful form for long - eventually, the pressure from inside would be too much for the atmosphere and it would pop. Serah's death had helped her realize that. She didn't fight for herself - she fought, ultimately, for the people she cared about. _For the people I love._ The familiar creep of heat was making its way up her throat and under her cheeks again when those thoughts almost instantly warped into ones of Hope.

_What... are we? What are we supposed to _be_?_

She was no closer to that answer than she had been when she had last had the mental capacity to process those thoughts. Even though it had barely been three weeks, it felt like forever since she'd let herself dwell on the topic. And in that time... _Everything's changed._ There was no Serah to turn to anymore, and in her place was a painful void that had refused to let itself be conquered. Just how easily she'd let Hope in should have bothered her in itself... but Lightning was no longer scared or embarrassed to admit the fact that she needed him. That much... she knew. She would have never dragged herself out of the empty depression that had devoured her in the wake of Serah's death... not without him.

But apart from that, apart from the mutual need they now held for each other, what was there? She'd always seen him as her second chance, her opportunity to get right what she'd done wrong with Serah. That was why she'd mentored him, taken him in, protected him... wasn't it? A nagging hook snagged at her stomach when she knew that that wasn't the whole story to how she felt. _I still don't know what else... there could be._ The old Lightning would have had no problem snapping at him when he wanted too much comfort and physical contact from her, but the person that had been left behind by her sister's death felt differently. It _bothered_ her when he looked scared - especially when the object of his fear was her - and she found herself both needing and enjoying the warmth that their physical moments provided.

The small smiles he'd given to her tugged at something much, much, deeper than the shallowest of her interior she'd occasionally let show. It was stupid and embarrassing to admit, but Lightning could no longer deny that she _wanted_ to see him happy, that she _wanted_ him to have the life she couldn't. And that was where the warmth twisted itself into doubt and fear. _Am I doing the right thing... dumping all of my feelings onto him?_ That was where the uncertainty started to eat away at her... didn't he mind that he was the outlet for all her feelings? And apart from the warmth... there was still the matter that it was _them._ _He's __a _kid_. S__hould I be... _

That was where everything started to feel wrong, and she didn't have the willpower to berate and hate herself like she knew she would once she got that part of her thoughts straight. She knew perfectly well that if she got the soldier sense she was trained to have back into her, all of those problems would vanish like water down a storm drain because she could just push him away and feel none the worse for doing so. But the Lightning that had been left when Serah was gone couldn't do that anymore. She couldn't push anyone away like that anymore.

_And so... those feelings are better left as they are. _

Not sorting them out, letting _that_ part of her doubts and insecurities rest in the back of her mind was the least painful, least effortful solution to take. She could enjoy what they had... and not feel guilty or sick in the moments afterwards. She could let herself accept the comfort she knew he could give and not look back on that with second thoughts and doubts. And with that, Lightning had to be content.

_I'll figure this out... right?_ A part of her really didn't want to. Didn't want to know what she... what they would be, didn't want to know _his_ side of the whole situation. _"Look forward... not back." _Hope's words were suddenly potent in her mind. _Right... _She had to keep going, even if she would never understand this part of herself. _I've got... more than one promise to keep... and this time, I _will_ keep them. _

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><p>Snow huffed, resting his right hand on his knee, when he finally reached the top of the rocky hill, the whole town now spread beneath him with a spiderweb of lights. Looking behind him, he could see the distinctive platinum hair of Hope just a dozen feet or so behind him, but he couldn't see Lightning. A brief worry crossed his mind before he pushed it away. <em>Who am I kidding... she'll probably slap me if she knew what I was thinking.<em>

It didn't even take a moment for him to remember that that was something the old Lightning would have done... in the days before Serah had left. He wondered what the new Lightning, the one that had revealed her inner fragility, would do. A small, sad smile crossed his lips for an instant. Finally, finally, he understood why Serah had been so persistent in drawing out 'Claire'. _Because believe it or not... under that cold soldier is a person. A person who can cry and laugh... who can feel loved and love someone right back. _They'd all seen small slices of 'Claire' before, slivers of the warmer, considerate person that 'Lightning' concealed, but it had been so cruelly ironic that it was only after the one force that had been insistent in pulling that part of her was gone, that 'Claire' had finally been pushed out. _She only opened up to us... because she couldn't accept that Serah was gone. She couldn't deal with the fact that her sister was never coming back._ And finally, she had let Hope in. He'd seen them hug, he'd seen the effect the teenager had on her.

_Serah... can you see her? _he wondered briefly. _Is this... an outcome that you didn't... or did foresee? _There was no answer from the ice cold fire of the stars above, but Snow didn't need one. He knew that wherever she was... if she could see her sister... she would be happy about the fact. Another small smile parted his lips when he thought of her. _And you were so concerned when I mentioned teasing her about it. She does it automatically now._ It was easier to internalize Serah's death this way, it was easier to live with when the healthier, happy memories filled his mind, rather than letting himself dwell on the sadder parts.

Sure, just like Lightning, there were certain triggers that got to him no matter what he tried to do. Just like her, he couldn't bear going in their room... in fact, he almost couldn't bear living in their house. There were so many memories that there, it was impossible not to think about who was missing. Snow found himself clenching his fists again as he tried to calm the slightly accelerated breathing that accompanied the surge of pain and loss. _We have a job to do.  
><em>

"Ahhh... you must be Mr. Villiers. Col. Rockefeller told me you would be coming." Snow whipped around at the sound of the voice, and he turned to see a middle aged man in a military uniform walking towards him, flanked by several soldiers carrying guns. Cracking his knuckles, he walked towards the man, rearranging his bandanna as he went.

"In the flesh," he replied quietly, holding the amethyst gaze of the brown haired officer. The man looked at him critically for a moment, before extending his hand.

"Cdr. Mateer." Snow took the gloved hand in his own, shaking it, feeling the firm grasp of the commanding officer's fingers. The man continued, his eyes set on the dark horizon from where the rock paths led to Eden. "Intelligence reports that their army is on the road from Eden, and are armed with manadrives. It's impossible to assault from the air with hoverplanes because that would risk destroying our roads to Eden, so we'll have to hold them with force. It's going to be a tough fight in the mountain terrain. You're ready for this... correct?"

Snow felt the surge of determination fuel his next words. "We were never _not _ready." The words rang as true as they ever had. _Serah... we'll finish this. For you._ He noticed a grim smile on the officer's face.

"Excellent." The man walked away, promising to update him with further orders as needed. Snow turned to see both Hope and Lightning standing behind him, an apprehensive expression on Hope's face and an unreadable one on Lightning's.

It was Hope who spoke first. "You're sure... we're ready?" Snow cracked his knuckles again, tightening the black leather into fists. Stalking past the pair, he walked to the edge of the rocky hillside that they were standing on, looking down over New Bodhum and into the distance at the softly shimmering blue shell of Cocoon.

"We took on the world... right? We'll finish this." Taking a breath, he looked up at the expanse of brightly sparkling stars above. "For her." Turning again, he caught the look on Lightning's face. _Great... she's not...  
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"Right..." The familiar phrase sounded so _right_ for the situation that for a moment, Snow thought that the old Lightning was back. It was something she'd say - for a moment, she sounded like the person he had known before Serah's death. That was before he caught the unsettled look in her cerulean eyes, and the hand that was trembling as she slowly clenched it into a fist, carefully moving it away from her weapon.

"Light... are you okay?" She didn't reply to Hope's query, deliberately turning away to face the rocky face of the hillside. Snow moved towards her until he was right in front of her, until he could look down at her.

Forming the words in his mind was easier than saying them aloud to her. "Sis... you're not..."

"I'm not." The words held a bit more potency than her last sentence, but Snow still wasn't convinced. "I know... okay?" She took a breath, and he saw her forcibly control her breathing. He had been about to congratulate her before the shouts began, and all three of them turned to look up.

An explosion of rock and earth rained down on their heads, pushing the choking particulates into the air, turning the night air into one of earth and death. Feeling the explosions rock the ground beneath his feet, Snow tried to keep himself standing in the storm of earthen elements that was being expelled into the night sky. The sudden blast of flame near him, scorching the rock wall, made him turn his head as black cloaked figures began to jump down from the ledge above. The sound of gunfire and yells was now the only prominent sound in the area, and Snow barely had time to curse to himself before another spell was thrown at him. _How the hell did they get here from Eden so fast?_

Blocking the attack with a Steelguard, he threw himself forward, kicking aside one with a manadrive on its wrist, and gripping the black blade of a scythe that was swung at him. Instinct and rage fueled his motions, and he imagined each blow he sent would drive Yorun one step away from his goal. _You'll pay... for what you did._ Sinking his boot into the chest of another, he ripped off the manadrive of one that was trying to cast before an Aeroga whipped it away.

Whipping around, he saw that Hope had pulled out his boomerang, but Lightning...

_She's just standing there!_ Even from where he was, over a dozen feet away from them, he could see the look in her eyes. A surge of frustration and anger began to boil in his chest. _What the hell happened to 'I'll try?' _She was a sitting duck if she wasn't going to fight back and he knew that the soldier part of her knew that.

"Sis, if you can't fight back then get the hell outta here!" She flinched at the sound of the words, but it was the undeniable truth - all she was doing was getting in the way and the last thing they - and especially Hope - needed was for her to end up in the hospital again. Any more words he might have shouted at her, any more replied she might have replied to him with were cut off when a large slab of rock from one of the above ledges smashed into their ledge, cracking the earth and stone underneath their feet, and sending Snow to his knees as the violent tremor threw him to the ground. The Waterga that had left his hand pushed several enemies entirely off the ledge, and he heard fading shouts before the shaking stopped enough for him to stand up again.

He had barely clambered to his feet before a shower of earth and stone chips rained down around him, and, thinking fast, he set up his Mediguard, hoping against hope that it would be enough to protect him and heal whatever small injuries the rock was capable of giving him. The second tremor made the first look like a small wobble next to an earthquake as it ripped through the earth. He could have sworn he heard the rocks themselves groan, as brown, grey, and black became all the visible horizon could hold.

For a long time, an expanse that might have only lasted a few seconds in reality, or one that might have lasted hours, that was all that could fill Snow's consciousness as the earth and stone pressed down around him, almost replacing the atmospheric pressure as time dragged on. It was only after the rumbling and choking presence of dust had gone did Snow stand up from his kneeling position that he had maintained, and opened his eyes.

He met the cold crimson eyes of a scythe wielding clone instantly, and he heard the distilling scrape of metal on rock as it approached him. He had no idea where Hope and Lightning were, if they were indeed alright, and there wasn't time to dwell on the fact. He would just have to hope that they were out there still somewhere.

_Bring it on, creep._

* * *

><p>It was a very long time before Hope felt the ground beneath him stabilize enough for him to open his eyes. Looking up, he could see the familiar expanse of stars above his head, but that was where the similarities ended from the world he had closed his eyes to and the world he was now looking at. The strong, tall, rock faces were gone, and he couldn't see a single soldier or clone in sight. It was eerily quiet, and it was a few moments before he realized that the beige bulk that was Snow was not in sight. The thought should have made him panic, before one that was even more unsettling crept into his mind.<p>

He couldn't see Lightning either.

That more desperate, more all consuming panic lasted for the duration of several heartbeats until he spotted her, uniform smeared with dust, kneeling on the ground. Crawling over to her, she looked up the same moment he got into the range of contact. One look at her and he knew that the panic and fear that she had allowed to take over when they'd gotten attacked wasn't gone. She still hadn't reached for her weapon, her hands flat against the smooth stone beneath them.

"Are you okay?" The question slipped out before he could stop himself... and that was when Hope realized that he was reacting, involuntarily, to the way the old Lightning might have reacted. He didn't see the familiar flare of irritation or anger sweep across her blue eyes as she took several breaths.

"I...I'll be okay." Slowly pushing herself into a standing position, she allowed him to help her up. A small flicker of concern crossed her face. "You're okay... right?"

Her concern startled him for a moment, surprised him into silence, before Hope allowed the question to warm him. _She cares... doesn't she?_ The thought was comforting, and she didn't push him away when he reached for her, his hand finding hers limp at her side. "I'm alright." The words sounded more confident than he felt, and he knew it was a good thing that it did when he saw it clear some of the lingering doubt in her eyes. He heard her make an audible sound of relief before she pulled away from him, slowly looking around.

The steep face of the hillside beneath them was still there, cut away from the rock, and he could still see the bright web of lights that was spread in a mazelike fashion across Bodhum. That hadn't changed. But there was now a strong breeze that lifted the ends of his platinum hair and toyed with the edges of his teal scarf, and that was because the entire higher levels of the cliff had been blown apart. By what, he didn't know, but he could see jagged spires of rock that had once supported a higher level of the hills, and the ravaged path that had led through the mountains to Eden. Snow was still nowhere to be seen, but Hope had faith in the big man - it was like Lightning had said: he was too stubborn to die like that.

Hearing her pick through the scattered remnants of rock, Hope turned to follow her, wincing when he saw the forms of various soldiers and clones alike caught in the same grotesque grip of death; some flattened beneath bigger chunks of rock and others who lay in lower ledges, clearly having fallen from some height. _Thank the Maker... that wasn't us._

The quiet that had settled in the area was disturbing. _It's almost... too quiet. Did the battle really only last that little time?_ That thought was almost too immense to comprehend. He _knew_ that they had what seemed like an almost unlimited supply of clones... and at that, the unnerving memory arose in his mind. Lightning had told them that she'd been saved by one of the clones back in Oerba, and she'd recalled for them his reason for saving her. _"Clones of a creator, a single origin, that I will never meet._" There had to be something... someone out there, that was the source of all of them, and he could only hope that they would be able to find it. The unrelenting armies that had invaded them... Hope knew they were replaceable, that they, to Yorun, were simply numbers that could be replenished at the thought, whereas... _Whereas the more soldiers we lose... the closer we are to losing this fight._

He didn't know how many soldiers had been stationed here, but it was safe to assume that most of them had been wiped out by the explosions and the subsequent landslide. Not paying attention to his surroundings, he bumped into Lightning, and had been about to open his mouth to apologize when he realized she wasn't even looking back at him. The sight just in front of him gave him the reason why.

_No... not now!_

* * *

><p>Lightning felt fear and panic root her to the spot, freezing every single muscle she owned, when the single black wing touched the ground in front of her. The sadistic smile sent every single emotion she tried to control into overdrive, as she fought the dire urge to sink to her knees. There was no way to disassociate any of her memories from the sight in front of her, as Yorun's presence brought every single painful memory into the forefront of her mind, and it was only her own shock and fear that prevented her from crashing onto the ground. She couldn't even react when Hope bumped into her from behind, and she heard his sharp intake of breath at the sight in front of them.<p>

"It's nice to see you... Lightning." Strangely, he was unarmed, and he made no move to start towards them. Her right hand felt like ice - she couldn't twitch her tremblings fingers into a fist nor could she reach behind her for the weapon she didn't want to take up. The scene from before everything had gone wrong in the Ice Cliff Palace drummed itself into her brain over and over - how he'd taunted them, how he'd aimed for Serah instead of her, how he'd summoned the flare attack that had ultimately killed her sister.

It was impossible not to draw the parallels from then to now. Again, it was her... only her and someone else she cared about. Even the comforting presence of Hope just beside her left shoulder couldn't dispel the images that rampaged through her mind. She could just as easily lose this as she'd done then... and then Snow would hate her more than he probably already did. And this time... she couldn't even fight back. She saw his smile widen when she made no move for her weapon as he read the conflicting emotions across her face.

"Scared... are we? Such a pity... I was looking forward to a good fight. It looks like you're not going to give me one. In that case... neither of you are worthy of dying by my hand anymore." The black wing extended suddenly as the feathers caught the night breeze as he sent a brilliant flare of flame into the sky, throwing it above his head. The distinct flap of the wing faded into the darkness of the night sky as small flakes of ashes began to drift down, settling onto the ground and on her clothes, sticking almost like wet snow. The loud thump of feet on stone made her look up again, as a large figure took Yorun's place, a large scythe in its hand.

She couldn't move. As hard as she tried, Lightning couldn't force her body into motion as the figure approached her, the blood red blade of the scythe catching the faint moonlight as ashes alike.

"Light, move!" Hope's yell sounded like it had come from a million miles away - distant and meaningless. She tried to focus on his words, but it was like she had suddenly been cut off from the rest of the world by a translucent pane of glass that clouded out sounds and feelings as well as obscure her sight. In the rational, cognitive part of her mind, she knew exactly what it was - her own fear and doubts. But in the new part of her mind, the part that had wedged itself into her consciousness after Serah's death, the one that was ruled by emotion and emotion alone, wouldn't let her go. It held her in its viselike grip, pushing away everything else her soldier instinct might have told her to do otherwise.

The Blizzaga that hit the ground might have been a single snowflake as she struggled to do something that would aid Hope, but even her own magic dissipated in the face of her doubt and insecurities; unfocussed and impotent, unwilling to lend itself to have her focus it in an attack that would actually do something. Her right hand still couldn't let itself close around the handle of her omega weapon. She could only watch, uselessly, as the scene played out in front of her, as her memories merged the present with the past once again.

Just like before... in a world that Serah still existed in, she saw the figure advance on Hope. Just like in the Vile Peaks, she was on the other side, struggling with herself in the question of whether she was going to help him or not. This time, it wasn't her anger and frustration that held her back, that tied her to the spot she was unable to move from. This time, every instinct in her body told her to run, to defend him from harm while her own pathetic feelings chained her back; the hollow, empty fear and doubt rooting her to the spot.

Hope's gasp of fear was what shattered the solid, suffocating barrier that separated her fully from reality. Seeing the scythe above his head, his back pressed against one of the rock faces with nowhere left to run, triggered the deep seated instinct that still existed somewhere inside her. She was running before she was even aware that she was, her mind trying to keep up with the involuntary actions her body was taking. Her right hand reached behind her for the gunblade before she was even conscious that she'd fought past that barrier. Lightning felt her fingers close around the handle and raise the weapon in front of her, suddenly pushing back against the scythe blade that had locked with the end of her omega weapon.

_I can't let this... happen again!_

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><p><strong>*sighs contentedly* Yeah, I know, I know... cliffhanger ending once again, but at least this time it was happy-ish... right? Poor Hope... it took another near death experience for Light to finally realize, in a sense, what was important to her. *pats him and puts ribbons into his hair* You're just too cute.<br>**

**Anyways, leave love as always!  
><strong>

**Update Thursday May 3rd, 2012: So, I originally promised that Chapter 51 was going to be up today... but guess what? My computer crashed on me, losing lots of the stuff on my USB, including... this fic. The older chapters aren't a problem... I mean, they're backed up on this site, but I also lost the 75% of Chapter 51. Wow... wtg computer. That means a_ lot_ of retyping for me, and that means I don't know when Chapter 51 will be up. :/ Hopefully by tomorrow, May 4th, but I don't know... it could be the weekend or even Monday - I'm pretty sure I am fairly busy this weekend. *cries* I'm sorry! I'll do my best to get Chapter 51 up asap, and so I'll see you guys then.  
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**Hearts!  
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	51. Light and Darkness

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR!**

**First off... I do apologize for the incompetence of my computer... I think I cried when this chapter got lost *mumbles* And I worked so hard on it too, the first time... Anyways, my angry little fingers were determined to retype this chapter, so here it is!  
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**Thanks to: That One Reviewee (thanks, and welcome back! 8D), OscarMerrinoz96, Crystal, GCFarron, H-thar, Mylaervain, and Zapper90! You guys are awesome, and once again, props to LadyAlaska (I'm sorry... sentinel Light is just too _adorable._ Sentinel Hope should be next. *cackles*)  
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**Anyways... the centrepiece of this chapter is an extreme HxL... to the point where I think I actually had to stop and control my squealing a couple times throughout writing (and rewriting) that part. So... yeah. That's all I'm gonna say. I did use, once again, a couple lines off Yuna Ito's _Trust You_ (believe I used it back in Chapter 43); obviously, I don't own it.  
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**Enjoy as always!**

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><p><span>Chapter 51: Light and Darkness<span>

Pressed against the stone ridge, fear and helplessness rendering him unable to even grasp the controlled desperation he needed to summon his Eidolon, Hope had closed his eyes in anticipation of the attack, had expected the blade of the scythe to bury itself into his skull... but it didn't happen. Instead, he heard the ear grating screech of metal on metal, and slowly, he opened his emerald eyes, unsure of what to expect, before shock made every muscle in his body freeze.

Lightning was standing in front of him, her omega weapon locked with the blade of the scythe as she tried to force it away from them. For a moment, warm surprise and appreciation prevented him from doing anything but admire, in a sick and bizarre way, the sight in front of him. _She does care... doesn't she? _The thought was touching in so many ways... that she'd finally overcome the barrier holding her back because _he'd_ been in danger. It was impossible not to feel touched by the thought.

Hope wrenched himself out of the warm, happy thoughts when he heard her grunt of effort - she was slowly being pushed back by the figure and he could see her struggling to hold back the downward force. His own Aerora sent the enemy away from her, and she dropped her arms the moment the two weapons were no longer in contact, panting.

"Light!" It was impossible to tell what she was thinking, impossible to gauge her emotions in the brief break the Aero spell had given them. There was only enough time to see that she was okay, that her hands weren't trembling on the handle of her weapon, before the figure launched itself back at them. Both of them moving back to avoid the first sweep, Hope saw her catch the return slice of the curved blade with her omega weapon again, effectively locking the enemy into place. The second blow was more powerful than the first had been, and with a heartbeat of dread, Hope realized the thing was going to overpower her if he didn't do something in the next few heartbeats.

His second Aerora caught the thing in the chest, flinging it away from her, and Hope watched in satisfaction as it hit a jagged rock, falling still for a few moments before he sent a Thundaga at it, lighting up the entire sky for a few seconds. A single gunshot echoed through the jags of rocks and it twitched a few more times before finally falling still, slowly dissipating into black smoke.

Turning away from its direction, Hope took the time to fully look at Lightning. She was staring at the omega weapon she held in her hands like she couldn't believe what she was doing. _Like... like she's scared she's done the wrong thing. _Slowly, she sank to her knees, grip loosening on the handle of the gunblade until her palms were flat against the stone, pressing the weapon underneath her hands. Running to her, he caught her before her knees fully touched the ground, instantly feeling the strain of lifting her up.

"Light... Light, you're okay, right? You're not hurt?" He knew the latter wasn't true, but it helped him calm down when she fixed tormented, intense blue eyes on him, her left hand finding his wrist.

"No... But... are you?" The question was asked in a shaky voice that he knew she couldn't quite control yet, but he'd seen the flash of concern cross her teal gaze. Shaking his head, Hope slowly lowered her to the cold ground, watching her try and control her breathing. _How do I even..._ "I'm sorry," she choked out quietly. "You needed help and all I could do was stand there... you almost died again and-"

"And it's not your fault," he finished firmly for her. "You came. That's all that matters." The warmth that had filled him in the moment he'd realized that she was defending him was back, flooding his consciousness as he slowly slid his wrist up in her grip until their fingers found each other, and her steel grip closed on his small fingers the moment they met, gripping him like he was a lifeline.

"But I..." Hope lowered himself, squatting down until their eyes were on the same level. Hesitantly, he reached for her other hand, relieved when she let him hold it. He found their gazes locking onto one another as he tried to calm his own feelings - the warmth now mixed with a slight frustration that she couldn't see it wasn't her fault, that her coming to his defence was all that mattered in the end.

Forcing the next words to sound strong and firm, he tried again. "Don't go there. Light... it's enough that you _did_ come... okay? Stop hating yourself for something you did _right._" He heard her gasp at the last word, once again, reminding him of his earlier insight that she was scared she'd done something wrong by fighting again. Suddenly much more sure that this was the right thing to do, he continued. "See...? You didn't end up hurting anyone, no one got hurt because you were fighting. So please, Light... don't be scared anymore?" The last words came out as a plea even though he didn't want it to. If he was honest with himself... he still needed - and wanted - her protection, her attention. He wanted to see the strong soldier that had vowed to keep him safe, even if that thought was childishly selfish.

Lightning had closed her eyes, and he could see she was trying to fight past the inner doubt and insecurities to comprehend what he'd said. Slowly, Hope let his hands trail past her waist again, feeling the same warm burn start somewhere at the bottom of his spine and beginning to work its way up his body whenever he touched her like that, and gently pulled her into an embrace, pressing his forehead against her shoulder, feeling her heartbeat against his own.

When she returned it almost instantly, Hope let the warmth and the closeness of the moment totally envelope him. For a moment, he could believe that he was back in Palumpolum, back with his own mother as Lightning pulled the embrace tighter than it already was, her hands meeting at the small of his back. "Thank you," he heard her murmur against the scarf wrapped around his neck, her voice muffled by the filmy cloth. The intimacy of that moment was overwhelming because neither of them wanted to let go. Hesitantly, he buried his face against the bare, exposed skin of her right shoulder, breathing in.

"Thank you too... Light. For coming to save me." Her grip shifted slightly around him, and he felt her lift her head, but she made no move to pull away. When he gently pressed his lips against her shoulder, Hope felt her flinch, then relax, allowing the contact. Trying to calm his erratic breathing, he tried to control the blush that was creeping up his cheeks, but it was impossible. It was impossible to deny the way he was reacting and the closeness of the moment, especially when it was compounded because she didn't try to push him away.

It was a long time before they finally let the contact loosen; looking up, he saw his own blush mirrored faintly on her pale skin as she slowly stood up, pulling him up with her. Suddenly unwilling to let her go, to let her leave, Hope found himself irrationally scared when he looked at the delicate confidence he'd managed to put back into her eyes. She noticed the sudden tightening of the lingering grip, and she looked down again, her hand hesitantly reaching up to his face.

"What's... wrong?" Her voice was still unsteady, but the concern was evident in the soft tones. Suddenly ashamed and afraid to admit it, all he could do for a moment was clutch her closer, pulling her in by the vest, burying his face against her shoulder again. It was so, so hard to explain the rush of emotions that had come the moment he'd realized she was going to be okay. For the first time, Hope had no idea how to explain things to her.

_Her_ grip on him tightened as she slowly pushed him away from her, gently forcing him to look at her, clearly waiting for something. Uncertainty had settled back in her cerulean eyes, and he swallowed, knowing she would start blaming herself if he let her thoughts go for too long again. "Light... I can't do this anymore."

The words were so pathetic, so utterly out of place and selfish that it was a few moments before she processed what he said. He heard her soft intake of breath.

"What... are you talking about?" Her query just made him more uncertain that this was the right thing to do. _She doesn't... get it._

"Light. I... I'm scared." There. He'd said it. _'Scared_' wasn't a simple two syllable adjective... especially right now. Right now, it embodied everything. Her, the Eclipse... and he couldn't keep the memories and feelings back anymore. Unconsciously reaching for her again, he wanted the comfort the old Lightning could have given him, only he knew that the person he was looking for was gone, buried under the pain of Serah's death. Gently, she moved her arms up until they were loosely wrapped around his neck, her forearms pressing against the teal scarf. She didn't say anything, and Hope glanced up, somewhat afraid, to gauge her reaction to the simple statement.

The blue eyes held a mess of emotions: guilt, fear, pain... All the things he didn't want her to feel right now. "Hope..." she began quietly, her voice no more steady than it had been earlier. "I-I'm sorry..." She looked away. "I promised I'd take care of you... and instead, it's been the opposite way around. I should have-"

"No!" He cut her off before she could go on. "No, Light... it's not like that... I'm not blaming you! I-I _wanted_ to see you get better, I _wanted_ you to stop hurting... and if it meant you dumping your feelings on me... that's okay. But... I'm scared too... I'm scared." At this, his arms reached for her; automatic, yet at the same time, awkward, in a gesture to pull her closer to him again, as if the moment he let go of her, she was going to snap again. Hope took several shaky breaths before continuing, trying to suppress the emotions that were making their way into his voice.

It wasn't that he didn't want to see her better, and Maker knew he'd let her spill her emotions to him for the rest of her life if it made her feel better. But... he wasn't. He'd acted strong... because she needed him to. He'd been her 'soft spot', so to say, to fall, because she needed it. But when it seemed that finally, she seemed to have grasped some purchase on the rough surface of the mountain to 'living' again... he couldn't do it anymore. He was just as scared as she was. He needed her just as much as she had needed him. It was impossible not to look up to her as a sort of surrogate mother figure... if that was indeed all their relationship was anymore. And if she snapped somewhere down the road... he didn't know how he could deal with it. It was impossible to put this fear into coherent words.

"Light... I supported you... because you needed it." The sentence had come out so wrong... like he wouldn't have done it otherwise, in any other situation, but he plunged on, desperate to let the storm of emotions out. "But... but I'm still scared... of losing you. I need you. So please... don't leave again?"

Lightning flinched, their grip on each other suddenly confining and strange, the earlier warmth wiped away by his admission. _Maker, please... don't let that make her lose it again... I didn't mean to hurt her again... All I wanted was for her to tell me things would be okay. _He felt like the immature, scared kid he knew some part of him still was, but that didn't matter anymore. Gently, she relaxed, and he felt her brush away the tears on his cheeks hesitantly. He hadn't realized he'd been crying.

"I promised... I'd try... right?" Her voice was uncertain, and he could tell she was fighting to keep it steady. "Hope... I'm sorry... I didn't know..." She'd lowered her voice until it was a raspy whisper. "I didn't know." There was a long pause in which none of them said a word, her left hand still lingering on his face. "I'll try," she repeated quietly.

Slowly, he pulled her hand off of his cheeks, intertwining their fingers. She seemed to understand... seemed to understand that he still needed her support. She seemed to understand that their need was mutual. Uncertainly, he let his head rest against the hollow of her throat, against the fabric of her sweater and the cold of her necklace, feeling both her breathing and heartbeat accelerate at the contact. But she made no move to pull away, instead moving her right hand to smooth down some of the ruffled platinum locks at the back of his head, the fingers of her other hand twined tightly with his.

The desperate clench of their hands calmed him a little, and suddenly, he was back in Palumpolum, with his mother, the night before they'd left for Bodhum. The memory was a little hazy in his head, and Hope realized, with a sudden, painful pang, that he couldn't remember exactly what they'd said to each other. But the embrace that had followed had to have been similar to this, or else he wouldn't be reminded of it now. For a moment, the contact confused him, and he had to remind himself that the person in front of him was not Nora Estheim, but Lightning.

Unwilling to break away from the comfort the gesture he'd started gave him, he stayed that way until he felt her heartbeat calm, and his own shaky breaths steady. This time, when they broke apart, there was no faint trace of a blush on her cheeks. For the first time, the calm teal eyes reminded him of the old Lightning... the way she'd looked at Serah when her sister had been doing something silly with Snow. Hope saw her give her head a little shake, as if clearing the emotions of their moment away before she bent to pick up her omega weapon, pushing it back into its holster.

"I promised I'd look out for you." The statement this time had no uncertainty. "You're so..." she paused, trying to find the right words. "You're so caught up in... trying to make _me_ feel... protected and comforted. I don't want that to happen... not when you're trying to pull a self sacrifice moment in trying to help me. I promised... I'd try living again. So... look after yourself too, okay?" Her next words were quiet and hoarse; they held no hesitation, nor did she sound embarrassed or scared to admit it. "I need you too. More than you know."

For a moment, Hope let the eight words warm him to the point where again, he was no longer sure of where he was. Feeling the slight blush beginning to creep up his face again, he turned aside, coughing delicately to hide his embarrassment. _I... mean something to her? _The thought was silly - of course he knew he had meant_ something_ to her, but to actually hear her admit that he wasn't just a kid she was glad to have taken home with her... that some part of her depended on him for continued existence... the warmth was impossible to banish.

"Come on...," she murmured to him quietly. "Let's go find Snow." She set off, a little unsteadily, wincing as she briefly wrapped her left hand around her middle for a moment, before her steps evened out.

Tagging after her, Hope tried to contain the small bubble of happiness that arose in his chest even though the situation was no less serious than it had been just half an hour earlier. It was impossible _not_ to feel happy, impossible _not_ to feel the warmth flood every single extremity when he thought of the moment.

_Light..._

_I love you, I trust you  
>I want you to share your loneliness with me.<br>_

_I love you, I trust you  
>Even in light and even in darkness<br>We can trust each other when it's just the two of us  
>No... please don't leave anymore.<br>_

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><p>Snow pushed back the black bandanna on his forehead, feeling the sweat that lined the edge of the cloth as he eyed the enemy that showed no sign of relent in its assault. Closing his fists, he clenched the leather of his gloves together to throw another Waterga at it, but the scythe wielding figure sliced through the powerful spell as if the large bubble of water was nothing more than a waterdrop. Snow felt the same desperation eat away at his interior. <em>Damn. I'm wasting too much time here... Sis and Hope... <em>The moment that his desperation rose to the surface, Snow felt, for the first time since Serah's death, a small cold crystal form in his right hand. He crushed it under his fingers before another thought crossed his mind.

The beautiful, lithe figures of Stiria and Nix burst from the blue sphere of ice and water and they settled beside him, quietly observant of the enemy in front of him.

"Let's get him," he hissed to his Eidolon, watching them dance forward with him as Stiria sent a Cure spell his way. Feeling his exhaustion being wiped away by the spell, he pushed forward again, combining his own Froststrikes with Nix's attacks. Using a Steelguard to block a blow from the scythe, he felt Stiria send another healing spell at him. Using Nix to help him jump into the air, Snow willed his Eidolon to merge.

The Shiva sisters responded to his thoughts, linking together to make the motorcycle that he landed on, pushing the vehicle forward as he rammed the front wheel into the enemy, sending it flying into the air as it staggered backwards.

"_Cool 'em off!" _he snarled into the night air, flipping the bike into the air as it created the giant flowering spikes of ice that reflected the moon's light. The black smoke that dissipated from the attack surrounded him for a brief few seconds as the Eidolon vanished; the small heart shaped crystal reforming in his hand for a brief moment before that too, disappeared.

Sitting down with his back to the ice wall that had been created, Snow draped his arms over his knees. He hadn't felt the concentration needed to summon Shiva in a long time... _Not since before Serah..._

That thought hurt - that the last time Stiria and Nix had been beside him, Serah still existed. As positive as he tried to make his thoughts, the pain still lurked somewhere at the back of his mind, striking at inopportune moments... such as now. It was infinitely easier to concentrate on the present when he was busy, when he was _living_, but when he sat down, when there was a moment of calm, she crept into his thoughts inevitably.

Serah was always _there_, in everything he did. It was _her_ that drove him onwards now... the desire to see what they'd started finished, the desire to know that she could now peacefully rest. Snow refused to think about what might become of him when that task was completed. An empty shell, like the one Lightning was struggling so hard to get out of? Purposeless was not something he'd ever wanted to be. Without a focus... in the cruelest sense of the word possible, what would he be?

His life had been so singularly focussed on Serah's happiness and Serah's wellbeing that he had never once considered what he might do when she was gone. It had never occurred to him that she would be gone so quickly. Even then, even when she had first entered crystal stasis, he had never stopped fighting... for her. _So what the hell am I going to do... once we finish this?_

Going back to NORA was too painful - he could never hold that side of himself up again without thinking of her. And without Serah... what was the point of staying at their house? He didn't want to see Lightning drag herself out of bed every morning... and Snow realized just how hard Serah's legacy gripped him when he realized he didn't want to be reminded of happier days. Sure, it was easier to think of her in happy memories, but it was like he had realized before: in their house, it was impossible not to think of who was missing.

Snow got up, shaking his head, before the thoughts could get more forlorn. He couldn't be thinking about that now, not when there was still something to finish. Turning to the translucent block of ice behind him, he realized that he had blocked the only way down from the hillside... and there was nowhere else to go unless he felt like jumping off.

"I just have the best luck in the world, don't I?" he muttered to himself. He'd just been wondering whether an Aquastrike would be effective or not on the ice spikes that showed no signs of melting when he heard footsteps behind him. Turning around, he raised his fists, expecting another enemy when he saw the distinctive pink and silver hair in the moonlight.

"Sis! Hope!" He saw dubious look on both their faces, and it was a moment before he realized that Lightning actually looked like she was mocking him. The thought was bittersweet - she hadn't had the strength... or will, to degrade him since... _Since before Serah died._ Snow didn't know whether to feel happy or slightly irritated by the fact.

"What... are you doing?" Her question was shrewd, but he noted that it was still a little unsteady... almost as if she was unsure if she should have been asking him the question.

He scratched the back of his head. "See... I had to use Shiva to defeat one of those scythe creeps... and the ice is kinda blocking the way down." It almost made him feel gratified when she had the confidence to roll her eyes at him. _Sis..._

A sudden burst of flame left Hope's hand before he had to even ask, as the Firaga consumed the rest of the shimmering ice, leaving a still pool of water that reflected the moon's bright light back at them. He felt Lightning brush by him, her steps still a little unsteady and hesitant, but for the first time since Serah's death, he saw near total calm in her eyes. He couldn't resist.

"You're alright, Sis?" She threw him a glance that made him feel confident and scared at the same time. Yes, there was more certainty in her gaze now, but he could see the shadows that lurked at the back of her expression.

"I think... I think I finally realized what's important to me. Even if... even if Serah's gone," she finished quietly, a flicker of pain burdening her gaze for a moment.

The mention of Serah's name by her tugged at his heartstrings, and Snow struggled to push down the sudden pull of pain that the mere mention of her. It was impossible to forget, but they had to keep going. Even if they never forgot... even if they never would let go of her... they had to finish what they started.

Snow found himself leading the way down the narrow mountain pass. "You got that right," he ascertained. "Now... let's go show these creeps exactly who they've messed with."

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><p><strong>*squeals*<strong>

**I finally, finally finished retyping this chapter this morning... and I'm about to go to work, so, I'll be away from the computer for a good while, which may be a good thing because I really, really hope I got HxL right. The duality of their relationship was so, so hard to try to get right... *pets Hope* He knows she needs him to be strong... but at the same time, he needs _her_ as well. I'll have to go comfort myself with the thought that I could have done worse... so I'll go hide under my rock for the rest of the day.  
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**As usual with my Friday updates, I'll _aim_ for an update this weekend, but I am going to be fairly busy, so please don't hate me if you don't see one this weekend. The next update will be Monday afternoon at the _latest. _Leave love as usual, and I'll see you guys next time!  
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**Hearts!  
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***proceeds to go hide*  
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	52. The Place of Sin

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR!**

**Once again, my love for my supporters is eternal: Mylaervain, Lightarcana, that one reviewee, H-thar, Zapper90, thewhitespirit, and Erifrats101! You guys are awesome. 8D And of course, props to LadyAlaska (All I can say is... Hope is really _too_ adorable in game). **

**We finally hit some action about two thirds of the way through this chapter! Wheee~ It's been awhile since I've written some, and let's just say, if you've been waiting for a certain Eidolon, you won't be disappointed. :3  
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**Enjoy as always!  
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><p><span>Chapter 52: The Place of Sin<span>

Disquiet and shadows played over the sharp, jagged edges of rocks, casting ominously cheerful shapes over the high ridges of walls as Lightning slowly, carefully, picked her way down the side of the rocky hills, trying not to stumble over the mess of rocks left in the wake of the landslide. The task of getting down the hillside without falling was thankfully a task that took quite some concentration - if she was absolutely honest with herself... she had no idea _what_, exactly, had happened and she suspected it would be quite some time before she sorted that out. Still, no matter how hard she tried, the thoughts pressed down on her like fluid pulled to earth by gravity.

_I... I don't know what to think anymore. _She no longer had any idea what she and Hope were supposed to be, but it was painfully obvious even to her that it was no longer the mentor-protege or even the surrogate mother role she'd played for him anymore. It went much, much deeper than that - he reached her in a way only Serah had ever scratched the surface of _that_ part to her. _Serah..._ _Is this... what you wanted?_

It hurt that she could allow herself to feel warmth, to feel some form of the word 'happiness' in a world that Serah no longer existed in. _Am I supposed... to feel this way?_ Serah's death had never really let her go; she had never _stopped_ feeling pain that her sister was gone, but... _But with him, I can almost let it be a part of me without letting it be a part of me. _Was that wrong? It had only happened a few times, and in those times, it had only lasted a few seconds, but the weaker, fragile part of her, the part of her that selfishly _wanted_ to stop hurting, had embraced those moments and allowed them to continue into something she hadn't been able to foresee.

The warmth of those moments was undeniable. That much she knew, and that much she wouldn't be able to push away. No matter how cold and stoic the fragile, newly resurrected soldier part of her was... she couldn't do that. Not when she wanted and needed his support, not when he as good as told her he needed the exact same things from her. _As pathetic as I am at the moment..._

Shaking her head to dispel the thoughts, Lightning tried to focus on one thing at a time... and right now, it was to get off the hill without hurting herself. _I can figure that out later... we have time, don't we?  
><em>

She'd been about to suggest they take a break - her side aching dully again and she suspected it had something to do with her running with the stitches still in, when a second explosion showered her hair with stone dust - she raised her arms above her head and she heard Snow curse somewhere in front of her. Staggering away from the rock face, for a moment, all Lightning could do was clutch her side with her left hand, arm wrapped protectively around her abdomen, while she tried to force all other thoughts from her brain. She didn't realize she was backing away until her back hit the rock wall of the other side of the pass, pressing against the back of her legs uncomfortably.

Snow had already moved his fists up, but she didn't see the point in that; the stone dust was so thick she couldn't see anything except the large shadow of Snow and the smaller silhouette of Hope just a few feet in front of her. Then she heard the slow crunch of chips of rock being crushed under pressure and she caught the sight of a curved gleam in the moonlight.

The creature that emerged from the dust left in the wake of the explosion wasn't something she expected: it looked like the scythe clones they'd fought, but Lightning could make out a small, vestigial wing protruding from its left shoulder. _What the..._ It didn't seem to notice they were there as it slowly lumbered past Snow into the open. She heard him curse again, readying his fists to attack it.

"Wait," she rasped out, moving forward, ignoring the pull of pain down her middle. "Snow... just wait." The big man lowered his arms hesitantly, shooting her a suspicious look.

"What?" He sounded dubious and irritated that she'd told him to stop. "We're supposed to beat these things up... aren't we? Why-"

Hope cut in before the blond brawler could continue. "It's not attacking us. I don't even think it knows we're here." There was a long pause as all three of their gazes followed the figure - it was shambling down the ravaged hillside pass and showed no sign of knowing that they were there. Hope echoed the question she was thinking. "Where's it going?"

Lightning saw the small grin cross Snow's face, anger instantly wiped as he stared after the thing. "Why don't we follow it? It's gotta be going somewhere." The blond looked around for their consent - when no one argued, he cracked his knuckles. "Excellent! Then let's get going." He took the lead, staying about two yards behind the thing as he set off after it. She felt Hope pull her arm - realizing too late, once again, that she'd been staring off into the distance at something.

"Light... you're okay, right?" He'd noticed the way she was holding her side. Shaking her head to dispel the thoughts that crowded in whenever she wasn't doing something, Lightning tried to force herself to look into his concerned viridian gaze and not flinch. Taking a steadying breath, she tried to let it calm her before speaking.

"I-I'll be okay." There was no way she was going to admit to him that their earlier 'moment' was getting to her in the worst ways possible. _I know... I shouldn't be... _But inside, she knew she needed, and... what was the point of trying to deny it anymore? She _wanted_ it to continue and that just left her as confused as she ever had been. When he didn't let go of her, she tried to make her voice more forceful then the quiet, hoarse rasp she'd managed earlier. "I'm fine... look, Hope, don't worry about me..."

He didn't look like he believed her, and his green gaze was intense when he finally replied. "Light... I know you remember what I told you. _I need you too._ So... don't try to downplay things... okay?" His voice took on something of a scared plea when he continued. "I don't want to lose you again..."

Slowly, she raised a hand to push off some of the errant platinum locks that had settled in his eyes. Mustering the willpower to say something coherent, Lightning choked out the two words she thought would be the only things that she could say and not cave into the mess of emotions inside that even _she_ had no idea how to sort out yet. "I know."

Hope had opened his mouth to say something when Snow's slightly angry yell echoed off the stone walls. "Are you two coming or not?"

Glad for the distraction, she pulled him after her with her free hand, for once, thankful to Snow for breaking in on the conversation before it twisted into something that would no doubt break down the delicate emotional balance she'd managed to find and coax out the inner fragility that she had no intention of letting show to him just yet.

It was only when they had caught up with the big man did Lightning realize what she had just processed. _Just yet? That means I..._

She didn't want to think about it, pushing those thoughts down somewhere onto the same level as her continued grief and emptiness in an attempt to stifle it. She couldn't keep either at bay for long.

* * *

><p>Pink streaks were beginning to claw their way into the large expanse of deep blue when the figure finally stopped. Lightning had absolutely no idea where they were - they'd followed the thing off the hills and onto some other rocky outreach until it had turned onto a side path that wound deeply in the canyons. The soldier sense that was beginning to return nagged at her - it was so confined, so enclosed here and they were a million miles away from any sort of help: it felt like a trap.<p>

She didn't voice that suspicion though; no one needed to be unnerved more than they already were. Snow was still in front of her, and she'd insisted Hope stay in front of her as well. She had been unsuccessful in dissuading the concerned looks he gave her every now and then, but she had been glad for the silence that had been allowed to permeate through them.

The emptiness that tore at her was still there, and every painful pull at the stitches that still remained on her abdomen reminded her of Serah. That much... hadn't changed, and briefly, Lightning wondered if that would ever change. She didn't think so. Serah had been such an integral, central part of her that when she was gone... Lightning had no idea what was left. _The only reason now... I can continue to keep going is... I _want_ to finish this._ That much was also painfully obvious: the only thing that was currently driving her forward was to see that no one would ever get hurt by _him_ again... that no more lives would be taken. It was a stupidly 'Snow' thing to think, but it was the truth. She had to finish what they'd started... for Serah's sake if not her own.

_And when this is over... what will I be?_ The depression consumed individual she wasn't sure she _wasn't_ yet? Even now, the same urges lurked behind every motion - indecision clawed at her at everything she did. It was only easier to press down when she _knew_ she was doing this, in part, for Serah. It was impossible not to feel the painful, yawning chasm inside even when she had other things to think or do. The only time it had felt less dominant was when... _When Hope was there.__  
><em>

She didn't want to get into _that _either. The only thing now she could safely admit was that he didn't make her feel like the useless, pathetic individual _she_ thought she was. _Maker... if he could make me pull out my gunblade again... to save him... that can't be nothing._ The overwhelming consumption that she could have lost him in a moment of her weakness was so terrifying, so utterly painful, that her body had reacted before her mind told it not to. _That_ was how powerful his hold on her was. Briefly, Lightning wondered if it was okay... to let someone else hold such a huge part of her, before she realized there was nothing she could do about it anymore.

And that was also where the whole confusion started eating at her mess of emotions. _Do I want him to... or not?_ There was no denying he'd pulled her out of the bottomless whirlpool of depression when she had needed it... and there was also no denying that she _needed_ him to keep... _living._ There was also the matter that he was still just a kid... no matter _what_ his mental age was, she had no business tearing away the rest of his childhood like that didn't matter. And suddenly, Lightning was afraid she already had.

_I've let him see death... more than a couple of times, the whole corruption of a government that ruined our lives, the dangers of fighting constantly... and what crippling depression can do to someone. _It bothered her that it was _her_ depression he'd had to see... that it was the person he'd looked up to, looked for guidance, that had utterly caved under the overwhelming desire to not accept reality anymore. _He even heard me say... I didn't want to live anymore. _Did he even remember that? Lightning found herself wishing to the Maker that he didn't.

_Then there's the whole... hugging thing. _That it was wrong, she had no doubt. That she should have stopped herself before he had whittled her down to the very innermost of her emotions, there was no doubt. But just like she'd realized before, he'd gotten to the point of her where the weaker side of her slipped out... the side that _wanted_ his support. She felt like holding her head between her hands and screaming.

"Hey, Sis... you okay?" Snow's words jostled her out of her own mental world, and she forced herself to look at him. He was standing awkwardly with Hope - both of them were looking at her with concerned, apprehensive gazes. "You're not going to... you know, lose it, again, are you?"

Lightning closed her eyes, pressing a hand to her face. "No..." The word sounded as convincing as if she'd tried to convince them that Cocoon wasn't round. "Just... tired." She _was_ tired... of her own pathetic mental condition.

"You need a break?" She'd been about to open her mouth to refuse before Snow pressed on. "Look, Sis, we can see you're holding your side... does it hurt?"

It did hurt... but she could deal with that. "No, Snow... just... I don't want to hear it, okay?" She removed her hand from her eyes to see both of them give her and exasperated, disbelieving look.

"Light... I told you-" Hope started before she broke in.

"I know! I know..." The repetition of the words were gentler and softer, closer to how she actually felt. "I'll be okay... alright?" She saw Snow elbow Hope before he could argue with her.

"If you're sure then, Sis, let's go." It was tantamount to how much scant attention she'd paid to her surroundings when the big blond started down into a cave that yawned open from the mountainside. This time, Hope waited for her, refused to keep going until she slowly made her way to him. She didn't have the strength or will to pry his hand off her right wrist when he closed his fingers around it, letting him pull her into the darkness.

There was absolutely no light other than the strings of small bulbs strung at the ceiling, lining the walls around them. Instantly, she felt claustrophobic, and Lightning felt her breathing accelerate into unsteady gasps as they went deeper. To his everlasting credit, Hope said nothing - perhaps he knew she would snap if he did. The surroundings were too familiar... it was impossible not to think of the dancing blue light of the Ice Cliff Palace when she was underground again, a million tonnes of rock above her head.

Snow stopped at the end of the tunnel, and she could feel fresher air blowing past them now, pushing sweaty pink bangs off the sides of her face. He appeared to be leaning over something, and it was only when they reached him was she able to see what was sprawled beneath him.

A large space, filled with tables and lab equipment, with scientists and clones alike milling around. That wasn't what instantly made her feel like being sick, though. In the far reaches of the room, underneath a long hanging stalactite, was a figure, enclosed in some sort of blue crystal. Even from here, Lightning could see that it was the source of the clones. This _had_ to be where they were all created, as the words from so long ago began to push into her mind.

_"Clones of an entity I will never meet._" Was she meeting it... now? For a moment, something other than pain and emptiness ravaged her emotions. They _had_ to destroy it... whatever it was. They had to win, and _this_ was an inevitable step to winning.

"You ready?" she heard Snow hiss to one side of her. The big man was looking at her with 'his' determined look - she'd seen it too many times to be unsure of what it was.

"Yup." Hope's quiet whisper somehow empowered her, and soundlessly, she nodded. Consciously closing her fingers around her omega weapon was surprisingly easier than she thought it would be. The same rush of indecision and guilt slammed into her all the same, but Lightning found, that with a purpose so clearly spread beneath her, it was easier to push away. It was easier to concentrate on something she had to do when it was right before her. Slowly, she slid the weapon into sword mode, and she saw Snow give her a fleeting grin.

"Let's go, Sis."

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><p>Snow jumped off the ledge the moment the words left his lips. For a heartbeat, all he could feel was the dry, musty cave air rushing past his body, pushing the blue scarf behind him before he landed on the lower level of the ground, pulling his fists up before him. He heard Lightning and Hope hit the ground a few seconds after he did - it was empowering to know that they were both just behind him.<p>

There was a moment of utter silence before all hell, quite literally, broke loose. Punching aside a scientist that had somehow decided that he could take on a l'Cie, Snow sank an Aquastrike into one of the half completed clones that had lumbered their way, sending it flying into the scythe wielding, injured one that they'd followed here.

"Sis, Relentless Assault!" Her gunblade caught the one that had ventured too close to them - the slice was clean and it fell back into the horde of clones and humans alike that were pressing to them. Snow found that they were being pushed back to back in a tight triangle as the circle of enemies tightened around them. "We have to make it to the other side," he hissed out of the corner of his mouth.

"Got it." Hope's reply was quiet but determined, and he saw Lightning nod. He cracked his knuckles again, pressing the back of the fingers of his left hand into the palm of his right.

"Aight guys... get ready on the count of three." Snow waited as the throng of enemies closed in around them; he could hear the short gasps of breath that was Lightning, and the calmer breathing that was Hope. Feeling his own heartbeat hammer in his throat, Snow forced himself to calm down. _There's an optimal moment to strike... come on... _It had to be the moment most of the enemies entered the range of their spells, but they had to be far away enough not to be in the range of several claws and weapons alike held by clones of varying degrees of completion. _Just a bit further..._ "Three."

He heard something being clicked into gun mode. "Two." A stray clone surged ahead of the others, only to be flung back by an Aerora from Hope on his left. "_One!_"

The Blizzaga and Thundaga crashed into the ground around them at the same time, sending chips of ice flying in every direction. Snow waved his arm to send another Blizzaga over his shoulder as he watched the ice bloom into indefinite, twisting shapes only to be blasted apart by the thunder that assaulted the ground. Hearing the echo of gunshots in the large, spacious cavern, Snow scanned the area quickly, still sending the spells from his left hand. _Come on... there has to be an opening here somewhere..._

After a few moments of searching, he found it. His right hand closed on Hope's right arm; pulling the teenager forward, he trusted that Lightning would follow them as he bolted for the momentary opening their attacks had created. He let go of Hope the moment the teenager twisted out of his grip, and he saw a Firaga slam into the ground behind them, creating a large black flower on the ground. Pausing to kick aside a scientist wielding some part of twisted metal, Snow sank another Aquastrike into the face of a clone that looked almost complete - the red eyes were bright enough to be seen in the dim light of the hanging lanterns above.

Looking up again, he saw that Lightning had somehow made her way in front of him, trying to fend off some of the clones that were throwing themselves at her now that she was in front. A burst of panic invaded Snow's consciousness when he realized that she couldn't keep up with the amount of attacks coming her way - her left arm was clamped around her middle again and she clinging precariously to her weapon with only her right. _Goddamn, Sis, you shouldn't have gone in front if you're still hurt!_ He heard her gasps of effort as he caught up to her, sending a Watera in the face of one that had been about to sink some aspect of its incomplete body into her. She shot him a glance that was half grateful, half exhausted, and Snow could see pain and doubt lurking at the back of her expression.

_Shit. We need to finish this fast before she starts losing her resolve again. _He'd been about to call out to Hope when Snow realized that the teenager was not behind him. A second jolt of panic and terror wracked through his body - if they lost Hope now he could wave goodbye to the rest of Lightning's sanity and the possibility of getting out of here alive. Moments of searching didn't turn up the distinctive platinum head of hair, and a gasp told him Lightning had come to same conclusion as him.

_"Hope!"_ The short cry was nothing short of a pained screech that echoed ominously in the cavern, but there was no response. Snow found his back pressed against hers as the enemies pushed them into a corner, and in this position, he could hear her ragged, uneven gasps for breath. The hand that held the gunblade was trembling. _Fuck... Sis, don't lose it now... Maker, don't let her lose it now..._

The response was an earth shaking rumble that threw both of them to their knees, sending rocks from the ceiling tumbling down around them. Pushing Lightning into a corner, Snow attempted to shield her before he realized it was useless - there was too much shaking and it was impossible to stay in one place without being jostled to a different position the next second. All he could do was grit his teeth, grip the ground and hope to the Maker that a rock didn't fall on top of him. _Who..._

A quick glance up told him, exactly, _who: _the metallic blue gold body of Alexander towered above everything else, its head almost reaching the ceiling, pummeling away at the ground with its giant fists. Even in their current situation, Snow couldn't help but admire Hope. _The kid really knows how to summon when we need it._ The thought was erased when large chunks of rocks that had to be at least double his size came crashing down from the ceiling, showering them all with stone dust. The only thing he could do now was close his eyes to the near earthquake and hope that the shaking world would stop soon.

_Maker... if we make it through this alive, I don't know whether I'm supposed to hug or strangle the kid._

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><p>Hope felt his lime green crystal dissipate from his fingers the moment the blast of white light from Alexander had faded. <em>Thank you...<em> He remembered the utter desperation and panic the moment he realized he couldn't see either Snow or Lightning, and her scream several heartbeats later speared it home - it was then that the star shaped crystal had formed in his hand, and he had wasted no time in using it. The dust from the final attack had cleared some, and he looked around, desperately searching for her red cape.

Panic invaded his senses when he couldn't see it easily, and he started climbing over the concrete columns and chunks that had fallen from the ceiling and walls, his knees scraping awkwardly over the smooth white surfaces. Finally, he spotted a familiar hulking form in the very corner of the cavern, huddled against the floor. Running now, his footsteps echoing in the now silent cavern, he was desperate to reach Snow... and hopefully Lightning was with him. _Please Light... you have to be okay! _He skidded a little on the liquid that had spilled from the lab tubes around the edges of the place, the sickly silvery green liquid reminding him of slime. A large hand stopped him before he fell down, and Hope looked up, breathless, into the amused ocean blue eyes of Snow.

"Nice going there, kid. Way to summon at the last possible second." The tone was somewhat reprimanding, but the appreciation was in it just the same. He shook his head sheepishly.

"Yeah, well... I couldn't see you and then I heard Lightning, so... It sort of just... happened." Snow laughed.

"You saved our tails there, kid." From behind Snow, he could see Lightning curled with her back against the wall, one arm still pulled around her middle, the other holding her gunblade so tightly he could see the tension in the muscles of her upper arm. She made no move to get up, or to even acknowledge he was there, and instantly, several million horrible thoughts assaulted him at once.

_Maker, please tell me I did the right thing... I didn't kill her... did I? She's okay, right? She has to be!_ He had no idea how he would react if he lost her now... didn't want to know, and hoped he would never find out what it would feel like to lose her. He was running in her direction before he realized that he was, dropping to one knee before her prone form.

He reached out for her wrist automatically, pulling her right hand away from her weapon. "Light... Light, you're okay, right?" Instantly, he saw her raise her head, some form of relief crossing her otherwise tormented expression. It only took him a moment to realize what had caused her earlier emotion state. The apology was out of his mouth before he could stop it. "Light, I'm sorry..." The last syllable caught in his throat. _I didn't... Maker, what did I just do? _

Slowly, she pulled herself into a standing position, not moving her left arm from around her middle. "Hope..." she finally managed to rasp out. "I..."

He didn't let her finish before pulling her into an awkward embrace, hearing her grunt of surprise at the moment of contact. She closed her mouth when he rested his head against her throat, feeling her ragged, uneven breathing and her accelerated heartbeat against his own. It was awhile before either of them spoke, but finally, she took a breath before continuing quietly, resting her hand hesitantly on his head, gently pushing away bits of stone chips and dust from his hair. "I thought I lost you."

The simple statement was impossible not to warm to, impossible not to feel _appreciated_ by. For a moment, all he could do was stand there, feeling shock and warmth flood his frame, freezing his muscles into place. _She... _She pushed him back, away from her, snapping him out of the thoughts. There was some degree of her old self in her eyes as he let go of her, looking out of place and yet strangely, haunting familiar in the uncertain cerulean gaze. "Don't do it again... okay?" Her voice quivered on the last word, as she slowly bent back down to pick up her weapon, before pushing dust off her clothes and his.

He managed a small smile. "I won't," he promised quietly.

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><p><em>Seriously... you'd have to be stupid not to see what's going on here.<em>

Humming loudly to himself, Snow made his way over the slabs of concrete, taking in the fallen and crushed bodies of clones and scientists alike with quiet satisfaction. _One step closer... to finishing all of this. Serah..._ She was back - in everything he did, she was there. Like her presence had never left him, like she'd never been but a few steps away from him, always _there_ but just out of reach. _Baby, I promise... we'll finish this. Heck... if you were here... you'd be happy, right? _To his surprise, he found that he was quite sure she would be.

Making his way around the sprawl of concrete and stone, he wearily approached the crystal orb in the very back centre of the cavern, relieved to hear the unsteady footsteps of Lightning and Hope just behind him. He heard a sharp intake of breath and what sounded like part of a dry heave behind him - Lightning had her hand over her mouth and Hope looked sick as they all stared at the sight before them.

A small figure, whose form was barely larger than that of a child's, lay in the middle of the glowing blue crystal orb, which, as they'd drawn closer, he could see wasn't really an orb at all. It was circular, and the sides rose above the ground, but the way it was spread made him think of a spindly flower. Slowly, he drew closer to the lip of the crystal petals, watching the silvery green liquid swirl around in the basin of the thing.

"What... is it?" Hope had stopped beside him, examining the still figure that lay inside, unmoving in the slow wash of the liquid that lapped quietly at the sides of the crystal. Footsteps sounded behind, then in front, of him as Snow watched Lightning make her way to the very back of the room, where large green columns full of the green stuff lined the walls.

"I dunno..." Snow scratched the back of his neck. "But whatever it is... I think it's the source of all these clones, isn't it?" For some reason, the thing in front of him looked _innocent_... childishly so. It was hard to think about it as the source of the clones that held the creepy red eyes and the claws... the scythes. It looked helpless against the bob of the liquid that held it afloat... like the petal that landed on a puddle, forever at the mercy of the elements around it, having no capabilities to movie on its own. _This thing is... really creeping me out._

A small tap on the stone floor somewhere behind them made both him and Hope whip around.

_Fuck._

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><p><strong>Okay, I didn't really mean to end the chapter with what... the worst curse word in the English language (well, maybe I did...) but it sets the scene nicely for the next chapter, so... whatever. *crows with laughter* If you thought 'indecisive Lightning' was bad at the beginning of this chapter, well... let's just say the line "I thought I lost you." really, really sets the baseline for a scene two chapters or so down the line. Anyways, okay, yeah... n_n<strong>

**I'm pretty busy tomorrow, so the next chapter won't be up before Monday I don't think (unless I pull off a miracle), so, leave love as always in reviews and I'll see you guys then~!  
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**Hearts!  
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	53. Rebirth

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3**

**Once again, I begin with my usual thanks for my supporters: Mylaervain, H-thar (I've kept those stitches in for a reason... haha. You'll see the reason why in the next chapter), OscarMerrinoz96 (and don't even worry about it man, you've been so supportive and amazing that that hardly matters), Lightarcana, Crystal, thewhitespirit, Zapper90 and LadyAlaska (who shall forever inspire me)!  
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**I left you guys with that cruel, cruel cliffhanger last time, so I think we'll dive in right away, won't we? Enjoy as always!  
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><p><span>Chapter 53: Rebirth<span>

Hope felt the cold crystal of the flower shaped basin hit his back when he stumbled backwards, trying to move away from the sight in front of him. He really didn't know what the sight in front of him was supposed to be... and didn't really care to know. He felt like being sick - the bile was rising at the back of his throat and he wanted to look away... only he knew he couldn't. Snow had tensed beside him as the big man took a step forward, raising his fists.

The _thing_ in front of them _looked_ like one of the clones... in its facial features only. There were several wings sprouting from its back of different assorted shapes and sizes, some of them not avian at all, but that wasn't what was disturbing about it. Instead of a left arm, all it had was a tentacle with several large spikes on the end of it. _That thing looks like it belongs in..._ He didn't even want to know. That was when it opened its mouth.

"So you've found it." Its voice was gravelly, almost as if it spoke through rocks. "Ceres. The source of... shall we say, my children." Hope backed away from the crystal orb as the thing slowly drifted towards the basin, its wings barely moving to propel it along. Hope saw Snow move away from it as well, a look of disgust evident on the blond brawler's face. It rested its single arm on the side of the crystal, almost indulgently, staring down into the milky depths of the liquid. "You see... Ceres is eternal. Childlike, certainly, but unlike the rest of us... she is part of this world, and yet, at the same time, not part of us."

_Why is it... speaking in riddles? Who-_

Suddenly, it looked up, straight at him, staring at each of them in turn. "Do you know... why Yorun needed l'Cie to face him?" _What?_ "You see," it mused quietly, looking down again before it continued, gently drumming its long, pale fingers against the crystal. "Power is not created. No matter how much you hold... there is always more. And that is why he chose to make you... the l'Cie who defeated Orphan, face him. To create a new world, power beyond that of even the god Pulse is needed. To absorb _your _power... that is his desire."

"Bull," he heard Snow snarl in the darkness. "_We_ don't need him." Hope saw the thin smile stretch the snakelike lips.

"Whether or not you do... your fate has already been decided. _I_ gave him the power to absorb the fal'Cie Anima... You will meet the same fate." The tentacle like arm suddenly whipped out, smashing the crystal of the basin and sending him backwards with the soundwave it created. Hope found himself on the cold stone floor, watching the liquid seep out of the cracked crystal before a slender hand pulled him up by the collar.

"You okay?" Lightning's voice was hoarse and shaky, but he could detect the concern in it. Allowing her to pull him upright, Hope reached for Nue, holding the boomerang in his right hand, feeling its weight, before he replied.

"I'm fine." The words were more confident than he felt. _How are we supposed to take it out? _The sonicwave had been at least as powerful as the one that they'd experienced back in Lahrima Castle, and they hadn't fared very well against that one to begin with. _And that time, Light was... herself... and Serah was still... _Hope shook his head, dislodging the thoughts before they could continue. _I can't think about that now._

He saw Snow clamber to his feet, fists clenched, but the thing made no move to attack them again. Hope felt and heard Lightning draw her weapon; standing just beside her, he could see that her right hand was trembling slightly. _Maker, no, Light...!_ He didn't know exactly how the previous words of the creature had affected her, but he could see it in her eyes - pain, guilt, doubt... He resisted the urge to grab her hand; she didn't need more distractions now.

It was absolutely silent as the thing slowly bent down to reach for the childlike form in the pool, almost _cradling_ it with its single arm. "Ceres..." it murmured quietly. "Your cells are immortal... that is why we were able to create such perfect soldiers from you. But, your task here is done. Our stronghold has been discovered, and we have enough soldiers to last until the Eclipse creates us a new world. _This_... is your final task!" Hope barely caught a glance of the childlike thing before the tentacle arm wrapped around it, holding it aloft, before a blinding light that made him close his eyes to the brightness consumed it in a flash.

When Hope found it dim enough to reopen them, 'Ceres', or whatever the thing was supposed to be... was gone. In its place was only the unfurled tentacle. Hope didn't realize he was backing away in a mix of disgust and fright until he bumped into Lightning's right side; she hissed at the contact, but didn't make a move to push him away. Realizing that her breathing was coming in short, even gasps, he glanced up in alarm - but Lightning didn't look like she was caught in the grips of some mental instability. Shadows of doubt and pain still lurked at the back of her expression, but he could see nothing but a grim sort of determination in her icy blue eyes. _She almost looks like... herself. The old Lightning._

He didn't have an opportunity to say something to her before the thing spoke again, the smile still stretched thinly across its lips as it turned to face them. "What happened to Ceres... is _your_ fate, my errant l'Cie. You were tempered to serve the same purpose."

"No!" he heard Lightning hiss just behind him. _What-_

"_Yes._ Just like Ceres, you add to our power by being absorbed. Why else were you allowed to run amok... run around disrupting Yorun's plans like nothing else mattered?" There was a small, almost musing pause. "Of course. Your powers were needed. You were needed to actuate the Eclipse... but now that that has come to pass... you are but mere pawns that must be eliminated."

"Fuck, like we're gonna let that happen!" Snow's angry snarl sounded like it was coming from a long ways away as a Blizzara crashed into the ground. Hope had been about to send a spell of his own before a steel grip closed on his upper arm and roughly dragged him out of the way of a retaliatory bolt of energy. Stumbling, he looked up into her passive teal eyes, struggling to his feet.

"We have... to win." Lightning's voice was a hoarse, deadly whisper that tugged at the most primitive part of his brain, the part that spoke directly to fear and how he should react to it.

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><p>Lightning found that the dull pain that pulled at her abdomen was easy to ignore when there was a threat in front of her, blatantly spelling out what she had to do. The pain and emptiness of the lingering depression that clung to her was suddenly remarkably easy to push down when she processed what had just happened in front of her very eyes as she pulled Hope out of the way of the attack that was the answer to Snow's curse and hastily cast Blizzard spell. <em>Serah... We have to win. For you, if nothing else.<em>_ I promised... right?_

She knew Hope had seen her intent the moment he clambered to his feet, pulling out his boomerang - Snow gave her a discreet thumbs up. Suddenly painfully aware of the warm presence just at her left shoulder, she pushed down the nurturing thoughts of warmth that managed to bubble up inside. _I won't let what happened to Serah... happen to you._ The weapon in her hand felt ten times lighter at the thought.

Slowly advancing, conscious of Hope's quiet, light steps behind her, Lightning hoisted the gunblade to shoulder height. It had seen her - its smile grew as it saw they were prepared to fight. "Pity..." the voice was mocking, almost deceptively pitying. "You want this to end the hard way. Well... if that's what you want, that's what you'll get!"

Sudden force crashed into her weapon. She had only a fraction of a heartbeat to press her left hand to the other edge of the blade to hold off the attack, the omega weapon digging into her hands as she met the war scythe, pushing back against the force pressed at her hands. A hiss was ripped from her lips - Lightning knew she didn't have the strength right now to push back and win... and the thing was holding the war scythe with only one hand. She saw the tentacle reach out to grab her before several spells broke apart the contact between the weapons. Staggering back, Lightning realized she couldn't perform her customary back flip to regain her balance as the floor rushed up to meet her.

"Sis!" Snow's voice sounded muffled through the rain of spells as he ran up to her and Hope, who was still several feet behind them. "You okay?" She nodded once, trying to get up at the same time - Lightning knew how out of shape she was when the simple effort was enough to bring on one or two heavy breaths. _I can't let that... stop us. _Snow cast her a concerned glance before continuing. "Relentless Assault, aight?" The fog of magic was dispelled instantly as they both looked up sharply, the figure emerging from the soft drizzle of water that was all that was left of the two Watergas.

"You see? The difference of power here could be between a candle and the sun." The words were spoken with a soft, cynical smile. "This could be blissfully short, or long and painful." Slowly, Lightning lifted her weapon to attack position again, letting the tip of the gunblade catch the last few drops of the soft drizzle. _No._

The soundwave could have knocked them all through the walls at the back of the room if it weren't for the tanks that were lined against it. The breath was knocked out of her as her back collided with the curved glass of one of them, feeling the glass shatter behind her back. For a moment, all Lightning could comprehend was how to breathe properly again as her right hand slowly curled around the handle of the omega weapon, using it to push herself up again. The pain in her middle was no less, but it didn't have appeared to have increased from the attack. Slowly closing a hand on Hope's arm again, she was relieved to find he let her pull him up, his green eyes a mix of relief and concern. _I'm... okay._

For a moment, all they could do was stand there. Lightning found that she was clutching her chest in an attempt to relieve the panting that she couldn't seem to stop, and Hope was breathing hard too. _How..._ _the hell are we supposed to win_? The thing couldn't be as formidable as it appeared - they'd defeated Orphan, hadn't they? There had to be a way... Snow's hoarse gasps were suddenly beside her.

"What now?" For the first time since they'd entered the cavern, she detected a small twinge of doubt in his voice. _No... _She couldn't give into that now. She couldn't let that despair and emptiness control her again.

"Distract it." Lightning was surprised at how steady her voice sounded, despite the inner doubt that was stirring again. "I'll think of something..." _There has to be something there. There has to be..._

The big blond gave her a thumbs up. "Think fast, aight, Sis? Hope, Slash and Burn!" Watching them move towards the thing, she swallowed the uncertainty that had unexpectedly risen in her throat. _I should be... What if... _Pushing the unsettling feelings away, she tried to focus on the thing's movements as it took on both Hope and Snow.

It was fast, for sure, easily keeping up with both of them as Snow tried to sink some punches into it, parrying him with its war scythe and fending off Hope's magic attacks with its tentacle, easily dispelling even the Aeroga that picked up a whirlwind of glass, crystal, and liquid drops from the ground. For some reason, it was clearly keeping both of them in front of it, using its wings to keep it airborne only. _It makes sense, but..._ But it looked like it was trying too hard to keep its back away from them. _Wait..._

Pulling the omega weapon into gun mode, Lightning aimed an experimental shot at one of its wings while pushing herself into the fastest pace she could manage without tearing the stitches in her abdomen. It moved away from the projectile too fast to be natural for a dodge, and she saw it cast her a scrutinizing look. _Is this... it?_ She had no way of making sure, no way of actually knowing, but it was an angle to try, before Snow and Hope were obliterated by its attacks and before she... _Before I let... that... take over._ It was eating at her again - watching them fight without a chance of winning, all she was doing was sending them to an earlier death than her because she'd wanted for them to distract it while she uselessly tried to figure out a strategy that could be good for nothing. Indecision consuming her, Lightning tried to stop the onslaught of panic and pain that was ripping at the delicate homeostasis of her emotions. _For all I know... I could be doing the wrong thing. All over again..._

Before she could shout out the what she thought she'd found out to Snow and Hope, the tentacle flashed out - it had seen her hesitate and she didn't move quickly enough away from it before it pulled tight around her left forearm, dragging her forwards.

"_Light!_" Hope's panicked cry sounded from somewhere on her left as Lightning tried to fight the grip as she stumbled forwards the few steps, struggling to remain upright. It was impossible - like prying a sea star off the glass of an aquarium, the grip felt like it was suctioned to her skin and it only got tighter as the long moments passed. She saw the slightly panicked look of the thing turn into something of triumph as she struggled uselessly against the hold. The attacks from Snow and Hope were useless - it didn't let go of her even amidst their desperate spells.

For a moment, the grip relaxed, almost as if giving into her attempts to free her left arm before nausea and vertigo slammed into her slender frame, dropping her to one knee. Strength she didn't know her limbs had felt like it was being drained from her arm. _Almost like..._ It was so, so easy... to just let the rest of her troubles drain out of her arm and not feel anything ever again. _I'd see Serah..._

Something hooked at her interior the moment that thought crossed her mind. _Hope._ Whatever else was there, she couldn't let it consume him too. He had to exist in the future... he had to be okay. Hadn't that been what she'd been fighting for now? The realization triggered some sort of reaction inside - Lightning had staggered to her feet before she realized what was happening, pulling weakly back at the grip. She watched surprise cross the creature's face as she resumed her struggle - it tightened its grip on her accordingly, becoming borderline painful as it began cutting off her circulation to her left hand.

But that wasn't what the thoughts of Hope had triggered inside: what had been triggered was something she hadn't felt in a long time. _Not like this..._ The Fira left the hand entangled in the tentacle before she realized that she'd cast it. The hastily cast spell missed his face, but it hit something else. Lightning watched as the thing instantly recoiled from her, the flame consuming the tip of a mismatched wing on its left shoulder as it let out a pierced, guttural shriek. The moment the grip on her arm was loose enough, she wrenched it out of its grip, feeling the strength it had tried to drain from her come rushing back.

Hope was beside her in an instant. "Light... Light, you're okay, right?" Still feeling too breathless to speak, all she could do was nod in his direction, letting him pull her up. Lightning was surprised to find her world clearer than it had been before it had attacked her.

"I'm... okay," she coughed out, tightening her own grip on her omega weapon. Snow barreled past them, left hand raised to cast a spell.

"What the hell are you two waiting for, get it while it's down!" The Blizzaga from his hand this time slammed directly into the thing, and Lightning saw it stagger back before she raised her own left hand hesitantly, suddenly unsure. The magic that had left it earlier had been an act of desperation, conjured both out of the resurrected will to keep fighting and the thought that she _could not_ let Hope see the same end that had met Serah. She wasn't sure if she could do it again.

A small tug came to her other hand, and Lightning found herself staring at the intent viridian gaze of Hope. "You can do it," he encouraged quietly, before he moved away from her to go after Snow. Slowly taking a breath, she moved to follow him. The Ruin left her hand easily enough as the creature sank sluggishly down onto the ground as spell after spell crashed into it. The wings were starting to crumble - Lightning had a pretty good idea now of why the wings had looked so haphazardly mismatched. _It absorbs power from different things... doesn't it?_

The explosion that followed couldn't have been a result of their amassed spells as they were blown back a second time. Lightning raised her head in time for her to raise her right arm and the weapon it was holding to shield her eyes - the brilliant golden glow was blinding. Through the radiant glare, she could see the darker silhouette of a matching pair of wings raise themselves to spread into the space around them. The moment the wings fully extended, it dispelled the light, plummeting them into momentary darkness again.

"Enough," the creature rasped, lifting itself into an unsteady flight as it glared down at them. "This... is not over. I will see you... all of you, on the eve of the Eclipse."

"Wait." Snow's voice was steady as the big man pushed himself to his feet beside her. "If that Yorun creep is going to be the 'ruler of the world'... or whatever garbage he's claiming to be, why are you helping him? What do _you_ get out of this?"

The thing chuckled, and Lightning could see that it was amused at Snow's question. However, she had to admit it was a genuine one. _Why... indeed, would you..._ "Because," it replied smoothly, a thin smile stretching its lips once more, "the new world will need a proctor, will it not? _I_ granted Yorun his power... he cannot dispose of me."

"What makes you so sure about that?" Snow shot back angrily. She could see the frustrated look on his face.

The creature's smile was its reply. "That is beyond your concern. You only need to know... that had you not been so _disobedient_, he might have chosen for you to live too... after the Eclipse has run its course. It is really too bad all of you will die by my hand. So, rest assured that I, Alomere, will be there to greet you on the night of the Eclipse!" The creature vanished in a flash of dark light, aided by its wings as long, ragged feathers drifted gently to the ground.

It was a long while before anyone else spoke.

"What are we going to do?" Hope's voice held some of the fear and despondency that she felt at the thought of what was still to come. Snow cracked his knuckles, and Lightning could see that he had a determined grin on his face.

"Is that supposed to be a question? We fight, of course. You gonna let these guys get away with this? _I_ don't wanna be absorbed... or whatever." His tone took on a more serious overlay, and she noted a sad note whittle its way into his voice. "Besides... it's what Serah would have wanted us to do."

_Serah._ Her sister had been everywhere tonight... in the long trek outside, during the fight, during those panicked, despairing moments in which she thought she'd lost Hope too, even when she'd finally found the inner strength to muster a spell again. The familiar prickle of pain was impossible to push away this time, as Lightning dropped her head onto her knees, her right hand letting go of her weapon to bury itself in her hair, digging into her scalp.

"Light? You... You're not going to..." Hope's small hand found its way into her left, his grip finding her fingers. Raking her right hand slowly through the pink tangles, it was awhile before she gathered the inner equilibrium to look up again, carefully not letting go of him with her other.

"No, I'm not." A sound, half sigh, half groan, made its way past her lips. "It's just... Snow's right. We have to finish this." Her voice was barely louder than the sound of her own heartbeat. The clench of their intertwined fingers tightened, and she let that warmth calm her breathing for a moment, trying to focus on his steady breaths and not her own uneven, erratic ones. Snow grinned sadly down at her.

"You got that right, Sis. Good job on the Fira, by the way." She supposed his compliment should have made her feel better, but it did nothing to touch the emptiness inside this time. She let Hope pull her up, not fighting the grip of their contact, pulling in another breath before taking a few unsteady breaths forward. _I have... to keep going. _

A small pull at her left hand. "Light? You're really... alright, aren't you?" He sounded scared again, and she met his uncertain, apprehensive emerald gaze. _Because of the choice I made... I could have really... killed you. _Unable to hold it without thinking of that thought, she looked away carefully, not wanting him to see her feelings ravage her exterior again. It was undeniable at this point. _I can't... keep going without him._ The two near brushes with exactly _that_ had taught her that tonight.

Swallowing the guilt and doubt, she tried to make her voice as lifeless as she could, but the concern and pain spilled out on the last few syllables of her sentence. "I'll be alright." She knew, the moment the words left her mouth, that he didn't believe her. The grip tightened until it was bordering painful, as she was forced to look at him again.

"You're... sure?"

Pushing words past her raw throat, it was awhile before she replied, the words raspy but certain, reflective of how she felt at the moment. "I won't... stop fighting."

_Because that much... is the truth. No matter what, you, if nothing else, have to exist in the future we've been fighting for this whole time. _You_ have to live... no matter how much that hurts. And I intend on making that much become reality._

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><p><strong>Hm. Not <em>terribly<em> pleased with how the beginning of the chapter came out, but hopefully it makes sense and I did alright... n_n It's been a long time since a chapter was pretty much all action, and I'll have to admit I've gotten kind of rusty. Anyways. The next chapter won't be action, as I have it planned out already... and I'll say this right now: there's going to be quite a bit of HxL (sorry, Snow) before we lumber off to 'the beginning of the end'. As it is more of a character-orientated chapter, it might take me awhile to crank out and work out the details I want to get right - I might have it up by tomorrow if I'm on a roll, if not, I'll see you guys on Wednesday.**

**Leave love as always, and I'll see you guys next time!  
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**Hearts!  
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	54. To a Future That Never Ends

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! n_n**

**Once again, thanks to: GCFarron (awh, thanks!), OscarMerrinoz96, Lightarcana, and SquallRocks (yes, it has come time for my annual FFVII replay 8D). To H-thar (btw, thanks for the pointer, I did forget!), to answer your question, since I think you're not the only one confused by the motives: at that point, _yes_, he was cutting losses; he needed two crystals and if killing someone was the way to snitch the last one then so be it. His original target though, was _not_ Light - he gunned for Serah to begin with before Light decided to pull her self sacrifice moment. Hope that cleared some of it up! D: And of course, props to LadyAlaska as always.  
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**Enjoy as always!**

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><p><span>Chapter 54: To a Future That Never Ends<span>

Raindrops fell incessantly and unendingly from the grey sky overhead, but Lightning made no move to move from her seat by the window, watching the silvery precipitation splatter the lawn behind their house and the verdant Gran Pulse landscape with bright speckles that reflected dully underneath the heavy, cloud laden sky. Hands twisted in her lap, she resisted the urge to rake her hands through her petal coloured hair that hung down her left shoulder. Hope was somewhere in the kitchen, looking for things to throw together into something edible, and Snow...

Snow was out, assisting the army in evacuating citizens from the town in anticipation of the coming Eclipse. The burly fighter had refused to let either of them go with him, his excuse being that the doctor was coming over today to remove the last of her stitches, and that she needed Hope so as 'not to feel lonely'. She'd seen the real reason behind it, his pained ocean blue eyes that all but screamed "_I need some time alone._" She understood; quietly preventing Hope from arguing with the blond, watching his silhouette fade into the rain down the cliffside that led into town.

So here she was, sitting with her back to the windowsill, left shoulder pressed against the cold glass and watching the rain fall. The sight was strangely comforting... it distracted her from the inner storm that still showed no sign of calming, and here, quietly turned away from Hope... she didn't need to hide. Pressing her right hand to the side of her face and temples, Lightning tried, unsuccessfully, to assuage her inner emotions, but things didn't work that way. No amount of staring at the scenery and wishing her troubles could wash away like the stormwater down the city storm sewage system was going to make her feel any better. _And I..._

When they'd arrived home three nights ago, she had carefully avoided Snow and Hope, disappearing into the bathroom and then to her room, hoping that hiding under the covers was going to stop their persistent nagging. She should have known better that they - especially Hope - wouldn't be fooled by that and her excuse that she was 'tired'. She _was_ tired... of the way she couldn't seem to keep her emotions and feelings in check anymore.

_They could have died._ That thought was unavoidable. That Snow and Hope could have very well perished that night... because of _her_, there was no way around that. At the time, it had seemed like the logical thing to do, but looking at it in retrospect... _I couldn't have been more of an idiot._ The thought that someone else could have died because of decisions she had made was like a mountain she could never hope to scale and set behind her. _I don't deserve to be... _

"Light?" A clatter of plates sounded somewhere to her right, and she turned her head slightly, seeing Hope at the dinner table. "Are you hungry?" The soft concern in his voice was still there, and Lightning hated herself more than ever at the thought because she knew _she_ had been the one to put it there. _He shouldn't have to worry... about me. I... I should have made sure he was okay. That he would be happy_ _in a future that I fought for._ When she didn't reply, he made his way over to her, perching on the rest of the window ledge not occupied by her. It was impossible not to look at him now. "You're doing it again," he mumbled miserably.

Burying her face in a hand, it was awhile before she replied. "I really-" She cut herself off before she could betray more about her current mental condition. "Really, Hope... just go and eat. Stop worrying about me." The words were a little harsher than she'd intended them to be, and she saw hurt cross his eyes - but he didn't move. Instead, he just sat there, and waited for the reaction she knew _he_ knew was lurking somewhere.

He really didn't have to wait long before a choked gasp made its way up her throat; when he was right in front of her like that, she couldn't keep the feelings at bay for long. "Light... Look, you've been acting this way since we got home." A pause. "Can't you tell me what's wrong?" The words ended in a scared plea, and she saw the fear in his eyes again, the one that hold her he was scared of her going _there_ again... into the chasm of depression.

A groan made its way past her lips, and Lightning didn't move the hand from her face, digging the nails deeper into her scalp. "Hope... it's- I'm sorry. It's nothing-I'm not..." _Urgh. Why... is this so hard?_ "It's just... You could have died again... because of me." The last three words came out as a hoarse whisper. She saw confusion, then pained understanding cross his face as he reached for the limp fingers of her left hand, closing them in both of his. She found that she wasn't as offended by the touch as she should have been... but then again, with Hope and physical contact, she didn't know what 'normal' was supposed to be anymore. It had been awhile, a very long 'awhile' since she'd put up any sort of barrier between them when it came to physical touch.

"You're still worried about that..." The words were quiet and strangely pained. "Look, Light, we couldn't have gotten out of there if you didn't figure it out... stop thinking of the 'what if's', okay?" She observed him under scrutinizing blue eyes. He didn't look scared, nor did he look angry. Hope just looked like he was desperate for her to understand. And the funny thing was... she _wanted_ to understand. She _wanted_ to believe that, except her newer, weaker psyche wouldn't let her anymore. The old Lightning might have just looked at results and said to herself that so long as everything was alright in the end, then what happened to get to that outcome didn't matter. _That's... that's not..._

"Are you sure?" The words were as doubtful as she felt, as pain and indecision clawed at her interior again.

Slowly, Hope nodded. "Stop doubting yourself...okay? Remember what you told me?_ 'Despair will cripple you.' _I know... I know you told me that to help me keep going in the Gapra Whitewood... but don't you see, Light? That's exactly what you've been doing... exactly what you've let happen and it's... It's not working for you."

To hear him quoting her, to hear him give her the same advice she'd given him so long ago, made some sort of inhibition inside dry up and shrivel like a mushroom that lived in the dark being faced with bright sunlight. He gave her hand a little shake, the slight fear back in his voice. "Okay?"

The only thing she could do was nod, once. That was when the doorbell rang, jerking them both out of the moment as they both glanced towards it. Pushing herself to her feet, Lightning started towards the front door. "I'll get it... It's probably the doctor." She couldn't deny it - to hear him actually say out loud that he didn't blame her... it _did_ make her feel better. _Like... like I've done the right thing this time. It makes me feel less useless._ She fervently hoped that she _had_ done the right thing, because now, there was no more room for mistakes. Wrenching open the door, she wasn't surprised to find the tall stature of the doctor they'd met at the hospital, bag in hand as she let him in. She saw him give her a quick once over, clearly scrutinizing her slender form, clad in a black camisole and grey sweatpants.

"Ms. Farron. I hope you've stuck to what we told you to do at the hospital. I trust that you're well?" _If you count going out to fight following your orders, maybe. _Not bothering to reply, she let him push her over to the couch, one of the ones that had been untouched since Serah's death. She hadn't wanted to sit there... just because she knew that the last time she had, she'd been sitting with Serah, but the doctor didn't know that. "Do you mind lying down for me?"

The man waited until Lightning had arranged herself into a sleeping position, her back pressed against the rough cotton of the couch before rummaging in his bag. It was then she noticed Hope hovering awkwardly at her shoulder. "Do you want me to leave?" The question was timid, unsure.

_Do I? _She knew the answer before she had to think about it. Just as she couldn't deny Serah's death would never stop being a part of her, she couldn't deny that there was some integral part of her that needed Hope to continue to function coherently... _To keep living._ "Stay," she replied quietly. Lightning tried to convince herself it wasn't some form of a plea.

When the doctor had pulled up part of her tank top, giving her instructions to hold it there just below her lungs, she saw Hope wince at the sight of the scar. "If you don't feel well, you should go," she murmured quietly, wondering if she should be glad she couldn't see what the doctor was doing. He shook his head, diverting his gaze back to her face. Lightning found that she didn't exactly feel awkward at the thought of having him see her half shirtless. The thought didn't bother her at all, now that she thought about it. _Is it because... he's a kid? Or..._

She took the hand he offered her with her left when the pulling began just below her diaphragm without hesitation, clasping the warmth in her cold, clammy fingers. Trying not to wince at the unfamiliar sensation, Lightning tried to keep her breathing calm, more for his sake than her own. Despite his refusal to leave, she could see that he looked a little sick - the thought was, oddly, somewhat amusing, and she chuckled slightly, glad that she could find some form of amusement in this, small as it was. "Maker, Hope... it's just stitches."

The small, innocently sheepish smile was impossibly warming. "I know... Doesn't it, you know, hurt?" The question held something of an embarrassed tone, and she saw his slight frown increase when a particular pull _did_, in fact, make her wince. Trying not to hiss between pursed lips, she shook her head.

"It's not _that_ bad..." _I've had worse... much worse. And there are injuries you don't see_, _but never go away. _

They remained like that, the grip between their fingers slowly increasing as the pulling slowly moved its way down her abdomen, not speaking. She could tell Hope was thinking about something, but she didn't press him for it, letting the warmth of that moment calm her breathing and heartbeat. Closing her eyes for a brief second, Lightning wondered that, apart from Serah, if she'd ever let someone else become so close to her, both physically and emotionally. _But Serah... Serah was family._ _Have I ever let someone else... in like this?_ She didn't think so. _Am I supposed... I don_'_t know what I'm supposed to feel about that. _

That it was not what she'd always touted it to be, that was certain. As much as the soldier part of her hated her for admitting it, Lightning knew, just like before, that she couldn't deny that having someone else _understand_... was something she'd unconsciously been craving. Not like Serah... it hadn't felt right to dump everything on her little sister's shoulders. _So that makes dumping them on Hope, who is not arguably younger than Serah, okay?_ That was where the warmth twisted itself around into doubt. _I know... I know he said it was okay. But that doesn't mean _I _think it's okay... _That wasn't even the whole side of the story. There was still...

_There's still the question of 'what are we?'_ She was no closer to that answer than before... other than the fact that there was a part of her that depended, inexorably, on him for existence. Lightning wondered if he knew that, before she mentally slapped herself. Of course he did. She had as good as told him. How he felt about it, she didn't know, but there was no denying the warmth, the _need_ for him to be alright for her mental stability. _Is this what... _

_"She loves him. In what way, I don't think she knows herself. But they'll figure it out... eventually."_

The words that Serah hadn't meant for her to overhear suddenly pounded too loudly in her brain, and Lightning could feel the familiar tickling of warmth make its way up her neck. _Is this..._ She didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to think about what that would mean if Serah had been right... so long ago. _No!_ The instant denial her body wanted to give was overriden by the onrush of thoughts and emotions. _He's... a _kid. _Whatever else I feel, whatever _romance_ there might be, it's wrong. It's wrong to think that way and it's wrong to even think that it's okay for me to dump that on him. _Scoffing internally at the mere _thought_ of the word 'romance', she didn't want to let her thoughts go further than that, but it seemed the norm now that she could no longer keep her emotions and feelings buried somewhere deep inside, kept in a tight box under lock and key.

_Do I really want... _It was wrong, undoubtedly and irreversibly. That if their relationship went _there_ she couldn't not call herself someone despicable. But the other, weaker part of her, told her, foolishly, that age didn't matter. That she _wanted_ the comfort and support their relationship provided. The most disturbing part of the whole thing was that she knew that part of her was right - she _couldn't_ go on without him.

"Alright, Ms. Farron, we're finished here, do you mind turning around so I can take a look at your back?" The doctor's request snapped her out of her own private world of doubt, and Lightning turned onto her stomach obligingly, pressing her face against the rough pattern of the couch's fabric, glad that her expression was now hidden from everyone, namely Hope. Inhaling the clean smell of detergent, pressing her nose against it, she tried to snap herself out of the direction her thoughts were taking, but that was as useless as denying that she needed Hope. _Maker... I'm pathetic. _

_I can't believe I'm letting myself... get so close to someone else again. _If the whole thing wasn't as disturbing as it was, she couldn't but admit a part of her was scared as well. _Serah got involved... because of me. _Did she really want to see someone else get hurt because of her as well? Did she really want to lose someone else like she'd lost Serah? The emptiness inside wouldn't ever go away, and Lightning realized that she didn't want to inflict that pain on anyone else either. _And... he as good as told me I can't die... either. _She felt like screaming - the whole thing was so complicated, so intertwined with an agglomeration of feelings and emotions, that it was hard enough for her to accept, and it was only compounded by the thought that she could let herself feel this way when Serah was gone.

The last pull at the base of her spine ended with a somewhat flourishing snip. "See?" the doctor asked her cheerfully. "That wasn't bad, was it?" He hoisted his bag onto the coffee table, replacing the instruments as Lightning raised her head from the surface of the sofa. He gave her a little wave. "Well, I hope we don't have to see you at the hospital next time, but I do hope we meet again." She watched as Hope got up to open the door. "Don't worry, I'll see myself out." The lock of the front door had clicked shut before she bothered moving; pulling herself into a sitting position, Lightning examined the skin on her abdomen, now devoid of the black stitches that had threaded its way through the pink scar tissue. The sight _did _look a little frightening - it extended from just below her diaphragm to just an inch or two above the glinting silver navel piercing. _I doubt... it's ever going to go away. __Serah..._

Pulling down her shirt with a small sigh, she looked up to the expectant green eyes of Hope. "I'm okay..." she murmured quietly. _Apart from the fact... I still don't know, or want to know, how I feel about you._ Making her way slowly back to her previous spot, she sat down with a huff, resting one arm over a knee that she brought up to her chest. He'd followed her, perching once again on the space opposite her, except that this time, she found herself feeling more awkward than ever when she looked at him. _Maker, I can't even look at him now without thinking about..._

"Light?" He was staring out the window at the rain that showed no sign of stopping. She followed his gaze, and with a jolt, she realized that he was looking at the cherry blossom tree that marked Serah's grave. She hummed a small response, unsure of what he wanted from her. "D'you think... we'll make it?" There was an overlay of fear in his tone.

"What... are you talking about?" Hadn't he just told her to keep fighting? He caught her slightly panicked expression.

"No! That's not what I meant... of course I think we should keep trying... it's just... I'm still scared. I know we defeated Orphan, I know we 'saved' Cocoon... but we..." His hand found hers automatically, and Lightning found that she couldn't tear her fingers away from his.

_What am I supposed to say?_

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><p>Hope hadn't realized that he was unconsciously reaching for her hand until her fingers were trapped under his desperate reach for comfort. He'd seen the shadows of pain and despair sweep across her unsettled blue gaze the moment he mentioned 'winning' and he desperately wanted to wipe that away. <em>That's not what I meant...<em> he thought miserably. _I didn't m__ean to make her..._

But the truth was, he was scared. Still. He thought some of it had been erased when they'd successfully defeated Alomere at the cavern, but seeing the doctor remove the stitches from her had brought it all back. _How close we were to actually losing her too... _"D'you think there's a future for us, still?" he finally choked out, afraid to even look at her. She hadn't fought his grip, and with a degree of some surprise, Hope found that she had moved her other hand to cover their linked fingers.

"I don't know," she whispered quietly. "But if we don't keep fighting... we'll never know. Besides... Serah..." she trailed off, pain and grief clouding the aquamarine gaze again, casting a shadow over her otherwise delicate features. Hope found himself gripping her wrist before he could stop himself.

"I don't want to lose you either. Light... please?" He heard her soft intake of breath, as she slowly lifted her wrist to slide back in his grip until both their hands were locked in the same mutual need for comfort. He forced himself to meet her gaze, almost shyly, almost as if he was afraid to see what her reaction would be to it. _And maybe... I am. _

He'd long looked up to her, looked to her for guidance and protection, before so many events had made him realize that he wanted to look after her too. He'd promised as much in Palumpolum, hadn't he? Those same events had ultimately morphed into something more, something he couldn't have predicted, even though now, looking at it in hindsight, he supposed he should have realized it earlier.

She was so much more than just a mentor, just a mother figure. What those feelings actually amounted to, he didn't know, but what Hope _did_ know was that she was the singular person that meant more to him than anyone else. So much so that when they'd thought they'd actually lost her in the depths of her depression, he had to force himself to be stronger for her when all he'd wanted to do was cry. A soft touch on his cheek made him look up.

"Hey... I promised... right?" Her unsteady reassurance made some of the anxious thoughts cease to flutter around his mind, but he didn't let go of her. This time, it was her that slowly pulled her arms around his neck, pulling his head against her shoulder. "I know... I know I haven't exactly been the most... _protecting_ of people lately, but... But I promised I'd keep you safe." Her voice dropped several decibels. "Even if I failed Serah, even if I never stop hurting... I won't fail _you._"

The impact of her words didn't hit him until a few seconds had passed, and slowly, he pulled his own arms around her waist. "Light... I just want us, us and Snow... to be alright. I want there to _be_ a future for us. I..."

_I can't say it. Not directly to her like that... Not... _But she made no move to pull away, slowly pulling her grip tighter on him. It was only then he realized she was crying softly, her forehead against his shoulder. "Sorry," she apologized quietly, her voice quietly muffled as she moved a hand over her mouth. "I... I wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to have a happy, unburdened life... but that's impossible now."

_What?_ _She wanted..._ "But-" She cut him off quickly.

"I know... it's silly. Your childhood was probably gone the moment you stepped into the Hanging Edge... but there's a part of it I keep wanting to salvage. There's a part of it that I... well, I think could have been saved."

She was looking away from him now, pulling away from their contact, staring out the window at the cherry tree that swayed gently in the rainstorm breeze. He cleared his throat quickly. "Light... that's not stupid at all," he mumbled lamely, dropping his arms from her. _She does care... doesn't she? _The thought was touching, impossibly and endlessly warming. "I just want us to be okay. You know that...right?"

She glanced back, slowly wiping her eyes. "I'll try. I promise." He couldn't suppress the small smile, glad when she made no mocking or snappish response when he did.

This time, the embrace was mutual, and as Hope felt her heartbeat and breathing slow down to match his own, he wished that this moment could have been a part of their future... forever.

_As silly as it seems... I'll never forget that she wanted to help. Even when it was beyond what she could reach._

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><p><strong>*sighs*<strong>

**Well... Hopefully that was okay - I struggled for awhile with a lot of those middle sections. *bites nails* And I'm sorry, Snow, I kicked you out of the house because the whole thing would have been awkward if you were home. At least you were doing something heroic, right? xD The next chapter should be up by either tomorrow or the latest Friday afternoon, not quite sure which yet, as we start to move into the final chapters of this fic (I don't know whether I should be happy or sad~ D:) I want to start spending some more time getting them right.  
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**Anyways, leave love as always, and I'll see y'all next time!  
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**Hearts!  
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	55. Scars That Won't Heal

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! (:**

**Thanks to: Lightarcana, that One Reviewee (thank you so much for your input~ bah, finals *shudders* Glad exams are behind me. And well, I _hope_ the ending I have planned is classified as 'happy' for you all), GCFarron, H-thar (I will def. check that out, thanks!), Whistlewind Wolf (Yeah, it was originally going to have around 65-70, but I cut out some stuff, and merged some chapters together, so the final chapter count will be closer to 60 than 65), thewhitespirit, Erifrats101(awh, thank you!), Zapper90, and Mylaervain! I couldn't have made it this far without all of you, and I will do my best to continue into the final chapters. And, of course, props as always to LadyAlaska! n_n  
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**One more bit of news to share with y'all: the Lightning DLC - _Requiem of a Goddess_ - release date has been announced! It's coming out on the same day as the Snow DLC: _May 15th, 2012_. I can't wait to play it! 8D  
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**Enjoy as always!**

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><p><span>Chapter 55: Scars That Won't Heal<span>

Snow stuffed a last sandwich into his mouth as he glanced outside at the setting sun, chewing rapidly. _When I'll eat again, well, that's up to the Maker. _He tried to suppress the bundle of anxiety that rose up in his stomach at those thoughts - the full moon was already prominent on the other side of the golden and navy sky. _This is it. The predicted night of the Eclipse._ _Tonight... we either finish this, or the world as we know it is destroyed. __Serah... baby, I promise, we'll do this for you. I won'__t let you down. __I'll never forget you, never stop loving you. But tonight, this ends. I swear._

A small scuffle of cloth came by somewhere to the right of his waist - Hope. "Are you ready for this?" he asked quietly. Snow gave the platinum haired teenager a quick thumbs up, shoving his grief for Serah to the back of his mind, pushing down the sadness and pain.

"We've never _not_ been ready. Ever since this whole thing started, we've always fought to end this. And tonight," He slammed his left fist into his palm. "It _ends_." He heard a small, soft snort behind him, turning away from the last few dying rays of sunlight to face Lightning. She had one arm crossed over her chest, but there was no mocking or degrading look in her eyes as she slowly took a few steps forward.

"I hope that you intend to keep that vow," she murmured quietly, blue eyes impassive and unreadable.

Snow allowed himself a small grin. "You got it, Sis." He paused, taking a breath before continuing. "For Serah... too." An unsubdued flicker of pain crossed her features, and Snow saw her swallow suddenly, her right hand instinctively curling to a slim fist. _Ah shit... I didn't mean-_

But she didn't cut him off, didn't screech at him. He saw her push away the doubt in her expression, slowly fixing him with the intense cerulean gaze he had always associated the old Lightning, the one that didn't spend half her days in self doubt and depression. "I know." The words were flat, carefully controlled to an emotionless statement, but the tone in it was firm.

Snow made his way over to the glass dining room table, slowly spreading the piece of paper the army had given him flat on the smooth transparent surface, pressing his palms to the edges. "Here's the projected battle plan. The citizens, or what we could evacuate in time of them, are gone. The clones will probably reach Bodhum tonight, and fight their way to Cocoon. Most of the army -including Sazh, who'll be helping 'em out- will be in town, fending off as much of them as possible, but the big shots will be at the base of Cocoon. We don't know how the hell those creeps plan to make it into the crystal, but hey, whatever floats their boat. They probably have some plan figured out for that."

"What about the citizens that are left?" Hope inquired quietly from his side, looking at the map from beside his thick arm.

"They're the ones who chose to stay and fight," he hissed out through gritted teeth. "But that's not important - the bastard's got two crystals and we need to buy enough time for the citizens to get out of range of the umbra before he actuates the full strength of the Eclipse and drowns this place in monsters and shadows before sauntering in to take power."

A slender hand slowly sank against the paper, fingers curling into a fist. "So we're nothing but soldiers to buy time?" It was impossible to tell what Lightning was thinking - pink bangs hung over her face, obscuring her features from sight, but her voice was carefully neutral, though Snow could hear the anger and shrewd... _She's planning something... isn't she?_

Raking a hand through his coarse blond hair before retying his bandanna, Snow let out a sigh. "No, Sis, you know as well as I do we're taking the creep out before any of that crap happens. I'm just explaining the worst case scenario, aight?" She shot him a glare that might have scared him if the sudden pain and doubt in her eyes didn't unsettle him so much.

"Right..." A sudden tremor ripped through the Gran Pulse earth, and Snow whipped around, seeing the last edge of the sun dip below the uneven horizon of the hills and mountains, turning Cocoon's shell a brilliant blood red in the dying light. Dark shapes were easily visible in the fading visibility, and he realized with a heartbeat of dread that the clones were already here - right outside in the lawn.

Pushing his way out the back patio door, he heard the distinctive click of a gunblade being drawn just behind him as the three of them stood there, facing the half dozen black hooded figures standing in the unkempt grass of the verdant Gran Pulse landscape, their red eyes visible in the gloom. Snow raised his fists, all fear and frustration gone as he stared at the enemies.

_No. Hell no I'll let that become this place's future. For Serah, for Sis and Hope... for the future we all wanted to fight for. __This is... _our_ fight!_

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><p>Lightning raised the gunblade to attack position, taking a breath, before she realized that both Snow and Hope were looking expectantly at her. <em>Right...<em> _But_- She shoved the doubt right back down her throat, pushing away the insecurities. It had taken both them a long time to convince her, and for her to realize, that she had to keep fighting. _I have to keep going. Because I want the future I've always been fighting for. I want to see it happen. __Even without Serah... even though after this there will be nothing left to continue for, I __want... I want that future to exist.  
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"Relentless Assault." The command was quiet, but this time, there was no hesitation in her voice. Moving forward with Snow, she sent a Ruin into the nearest one, still marvelling at how easily the magic rushed down her left hand from her brand now. _Maybe it's because I finally got my priorities figured out again._ _May__be it's because... I've realized that there are still things left I have to fight for. _An Aeroga slammed into the ground beside her, tearing blades of grass from their earthen holds, the gust of wind pulling at the twilight trees. She saw more than one enemy get caught in Hope's spell, turning to slice at one of the ones that remained, sinking the blade of the omega weapon into the shoulder of one before a second Ruin left her hand, knocking him away from her. She was greeted by the wisps of black smoke as a second Aeroga tore apart the ferns and bracken at the edge of the forest that lined her property, several black hoods caught in its embrace.

Throwing a Ruinga into the mess of spells that were now focussed on the tornado of wind, Lightning tried to discern how many more there were, but that was impossible. Night was quickly falling, and the warm light that had been left behind by the last vestiges of sunlight were giving way to the icy cold blaze of stars overhead. Stray moonbeams from the steadily rising full moon behind her back helped light the way, but with every inch that it crept through the indigo sky, the more precious moments that ticked away until their deadline.

Snow sent an Aquastrike into the face of one that survived the onslaught of magic as the clone hit a tree before dissipating into black smoke. Slowly, she made her way forward, facing the crystal shell of Cocoon that was touched to a bluish lightness in the moonlight. _How much time... do we have left?_ Something small tugged at the black sleeve on her left arm, and she found herself looking into the expectant green gaze of Hope. "What?"

"That's where they're headed now... isn't it?" The question was shrewd and flat - more of a statement than an inquiry. Snow's boots crunched through the grass and dried bracken to stand beside them in the spanse of landscape that lay between them and... _And where it all began. _

"You bet, kid." He cracked his knuckles. "That's where we're headed. So, c'mon, let's go... what are we waiting for? The army will take care of Bodhum." His voice dropped several levels in volume until it was a deadly hiss. "We have a score to settle." Deftly leaping down the small ledges that led down the cliffside from the back of their house, the blond brawler set a face pace, establishing a firm lead as he set off in the direction of the inevitable fight that was waiting for them.

Lightning stayed behind him, discreetly and silently helping Hope down the ledges, not minding, but hating herself, when their hands remained in contact for more time than they should have been. _You still need... to be protected. __And Maker knows I'll make sure of that. I _won't_ let Serah's fate become yours. _There was no need to explain that sentiment to him - she had a feeling he knew that.

What disturbed her was that he seemed to have the same obligation towards her... which she _did_ not want. _I can't... I can't give you what... I can't continue with where this is going. As much as I might want it to... _you_ don't _want_ to spend the rest of your life with someone_... _with someone who will never be able to let go of her pain and her past. _

After the day the doctor visited, that much was painfully evident to her. No matter how much she thought she 'needed' him, no matter how much... _As much as I hate to admit it... No matter how much I _want_ his support, I can't drag him down with me.__ That's how... that_'s _how Serah died._ _Love, romance... whatever the hell this is supposed to _be_... it can't. I can't let it ruin him._ She couldn't let herself associate like that with anyone else any longer. _It seems that the people I love are always the people getting hurt. _And this time, Lightning knew she _couldn't _let anyone else get harmed because of their association with her, no matter what her feelings and thoughts were.

_And so, all I can do, is continue protecting you until I see the future I want come to fruition.  
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She could only hope he understood that too.

* * *

><p>Following the quick pace set by Snow and Lightning, Hope tried to adjust to their speed, but it was difficult. <em>They're both taller than me...<em> Seeing the slight breeze catch her red cape in a billow behind her, Hope tried to discern what she was thinking. _I know... I know she means more than anyone else to me._ That much had been established early, and he was in no way embarrassed or scared to admit that to her. But just like before, apart from all that, he didn't know what else there was. Or... he _thought_ he knew, but was so terrified and intimidated by it that the thought sent him shying away like a flan retreating from a flare attack.

_What am I supposed to say to her?_

Briefly, Hope wondered if there was any need to say anything to her anymore - he suspected she knew, but if she _had_ figured it out, she hadn't said anything. _Why can't this be easier than it is?_ he thought miserably to himself. He _knew_ she needed him, and that was more than enough. Was it really unfair of him to expect anything else out of their relationship, when he knew that even if she tried to hide it now, she was still grieving inside for Serah? It was unfair to _her_, he knew that, but the selfish side of him told him that it wasn't.

Hadn't he stayed with her since Serah's death, helped her up, kept her going? That much had to mean something, right?

It had surprised him when he no longer felt awkward or shy when holding her hands or hugging her. All that remained was the warmth. Maybe it was wrong to think that way too, but... _But are we really that different? _Apart from their ages, were they really that dissimilar and antithetic? The familiar flush of heat was creeping up his neck again, even in the rapidly cooling night air that was beginning to settle around them, wrapping them in its icy shroud. _I want _her_ to be happy too..._

She hadn't offered him anything else apart from the warm embraces from a few days ago since then, their moment of connection beside the rainy windowsill... but the moment had been so intense that he didn't see how... It was impossible for her to not have noticed. Afraid of her reaction afterwards, Hope had kept a small distance between them for awhile, only to find that neither of them was comfortable with the distance. There had been a shadow that lurked in her expression afterwards that he couldn't place, but she had readily accepted the contact. _Light..._

"Hold up," he heard Snow hiss somewhere in front of him, and Hope jerked his head up out of his thoughts. The big man was silhouetted against the rapidly brightening moonlight as the silvery orb climbed steadily higher into the sky, and he could see that Snow's fists were raised. Running the last few steps to catch up with him, Hope stopped at his shoulder, panting slightly as he tried to see what Snow was looking at.

He heard a weapon being drawn behind him as the black metal of the omega weapon caught in a flash of moonlight. "What, Snow?" Lightning's voice was chipped and emotionless, and he knew she was also trying to see what exactly had made Snow stop in his tracks. He followed the black gloved finger of Snow's large hand as the big man pointed in the distance to the shell of Cocoon that was steadily growing larger on the horizon.

"That." Squinting, Hope tried to make out the fuzzy, small shapes clustered at its base. He could see the crystal spikes that poked up through the dusty earth at the bottom of the shimmering curve of crystal, but apart from that, he couldn't see anything unusual.

"What... are we supposed to be looking at?" He tried not to make the question sound too skeptical, and he heard Snow give a sigh of exasperation, before the blond brawler took off at a faster pace than before, almost to a near run. Struggling to keep up with the big man, he heard Lightning push herself into a quicker pace, keeping just behind him.

"Can't you guys see what's _around_ the spiky crystal? Those clones... it's already a battle there!" Snow didn't give any further insights before taking off at a flat out run, leaving both him and Lightning to chase after him. Trying to see what Snow had, Hope squinted again into the distance, a hammer of fear striking his heartbeat when indeed, he could see flashes of weapons that caught the moon's light and the tiny flares of spells that were growing bigger by the second as they started across the barren, scrubby Gran Pulse landscape, trying to keep up with the burly figure of Snow.

The big man had stopped just out of the range of the shadow cast by Cocoon's illuminated shell, watching the action unfold in front of their eyes. Once glance and Hope knew the army and clones were fighting a tied battle, with neither side gaining the upper hand, locked in a stalemate. But there were more clones than there were soldiers, and even thought the army had the advantage with snipers and more modern weapons, one soldier could only take so much Firas before one of the spells dropped them like rocks. Hope could see some clones attempting to make their way up the slender column that held the frozen floating paradise far up above their heads, some crashing back down, pulled by gravity, while others managed to find some miraculous purchase on the smooth crystal.

Snow had fearlessly charged ahead, and he could see the Waterga crash into the ground as Snow threw himself into the fight.

"Snow, we don't have time to help everyone out!" Lightning's desperate cry crashed into his left ear as Hope set his eyes on her distinctive red cape as he followed her, weaving through the chaos that was happening on both sides of him, fending off some of the stray attacks with Nue as they made their way through the fighting, trying to dodge most of the clashing battles.

Swerving under the curved flash of a scythe, Hope chased after her, with Snow now behind them as the big man stumbled after them, still casting spells behind his shoulder. _He'll never stop... being the 'hero', will he?_

Panting, reaching the bottom of Cocoon's curve, Hope looked up, seeing the matrix of intricately intertwined crystal pillars and strands that crisscrossed the bottom portion of the shell. There were still clones, far above their heads, trying to reach the top of the curve and back into the floating world. Something akin to panic pushed down his throat when Hope saw that there was already the thinnest filaments of cracks that spawned near the connection point between the pillar and the crystallized world. _They couldn't have already made it... could they?_

He heard Snow curse under his breath as the big man caught up to them.

"We have to get up there somehow," he heard Lightning hiss. Her tone was a little shaky - he could see a shadow of some doubt cross her expression before she visibly pushed it away; Hope saw her swallow and close her eyes for a long moment before opening them again. "This is what we've been fighting for... all along, isn't it?" Her voice was much quieter this time, but it held the deadly icy determination that instantly reminded him of the old Lightning.

"You got it, Sis." Snow gave her a fleeting thumbs up, as they all turned their gazes up towards Cocoon, its smooth curve touched to an impossibly bright shimmer in the moonlight that was slowly creeping up to its zenith. Slowly, Snow picked his way over to the bottom of the pillar, the crystal arrays there jagged and unpatterned, but somehow, complimenting the structure as a whole. Hope heard him start muttering to himself. "How do we get up there..."

Following Lightning as she trailed after him, Hope found himself surrounded amongst the crystal structures that bloomed from the base of the pillar. Inside the translucent, glimmering arrangements of soft blue crystal, the sounds of the battle that was still raging just fifty feet away from them were muted, echoing off the walls of light, but somehow muffled at the same time. Hope realized he could hear -and feel- his heartbeat hammering away in his chest as he picked his way through the spikes and jags that protruded from the ground. Snow's yell of triumph also sounded distant when it came not five minutes later.

Hearing Lightning pick up her pace just ahead of him, he pushed through the crystal, intent on keeping up with her as they emerged into the clearer space just below the large structures that nestled against the pillar's base. Snow was tugging on a black cable that dangled from above. He saw her give it a scrutinizing glance. "What if they cut it when we're climbing?"

"Let's... just not worry about that, Sis," Snow offered, patting the back of his neck. "It's the only thing we've got right now." The big man didn't even wait for her approval before pulling the end of the rope tight and beginning to climb. Hope felt a small shove to his back as Lightning pushed him forwards towards it.

"Go." Swallowing the thought of climbing that high, he hesitantly made his way to the end of the rope left by Snow, taking it into his hands slowly and unsurely. _I'm not sure if..._ She seemed to sense his hesitation. "I'll keep you safe," she vowed quietly, when his timid green gaze met her icy blue one.

_"I'll keep you safe."_ Those were the exact same words, the exact same vow she made to him in Palumpolum. "Light-" He cut himself off, seeing the indecision that still clouded the back of her expression when she saw that he still hesitated. _She doesn't need to hear this... now._ Taking a breath, Hope voiced the sentence that he thought she would be okay with hearing, the sentence that he knew to be true. "I'll watch out for you too."

Turning his attention to the rope that dangled from the bottom curve of Cocoon's crystal shell, Hope didn't see the flicker of pain and doubt that crossed her expression as the words left his mouth. He didn't see her open her mouth to say something else, before resolutely pressing her lips shut.

* * *

><p>The wide, floating, crystal world of Cocoon looked different from the inside. Crossed with a matrix of intertwining and entangled crystal pillars, structures and vines alike, the bright light of the moon was muted inside the soft periwinkle casing as Lightning slowly pulled herself up into the cracked hole left in the bottom of the shell.<p>

It was ominously silent - she couldn't even see the battle that was still being fought so many yards below them: the crystal muted out all other sound, and for a moment, all she could do was stand there, looking at what had become of Cocoon since the months that they had last set foot in the floating world. Hope's hand instinctively found hers - for a moment, Lightning was tempted to twitch her fingers out of his before something else suppressed that. _There's no reason... to make him angry, when... _She knew perfectly why she was hesitating now. _The last time I was here... Serah still existed._ She had to have made some noise to acknowledge that fact because the next thing she knew, both Snow and Hope were staring at her, concern evident in their gazes.

"Light... what's wrong?" Burying her face in her other hand, it was a few long, agonizing heartbeats before Lightning thought she had mustered the inner equilibrium to reply, fighting the panic and pain that rose like a flame when a spark was touched to wood inside her.

"Sorry..." The quiet mutter was slightly choked, the next words coming out as a hoarse whisper. "Serah..." Rough hands settled on her shoulders, and she couldn't even push them off of her because Hope's fingers were locked with those on her left hand. Lightning found herself looking up at the burdened, but stern gaze of Snow.

"You promised you were going to keep living, Sis. Don't give up now."

"I know that!" The harsh tones left her mouth before she even realized what she was saying. "I know that..." Pressing the fingers of her right hand over her mouth, she took another breath before continuing. "It's just... I can't stop thinking about her... here." Hope's grip on her gloved left hand was growing uncomfortably painful, but she let it go - she needed the distraction at the moment.

Snow let go of her. "I know. I know what you mean," he asserted quietly. "She's here too. But we have something to do. Don't lose sight of that, aight, Sis?" Meeting his ocean blue gaze, she nodded. Once. He gave her one in return, before setting off amongst the crystallized structures of trees and ferns, some untouched by the eternal blue grasp of crystallization, others who were encased in the shimmering blue structures. There was the soft sound of running water in the distance, but apart from that, it was silent - there wasn't even the wind to disturb the landscape here. Pulling away gently from Hope, Lightning took another steadying breath before turning to follow Snow, Hope tagging after her.

"This is the Sunleth Waterscape," he murmured quietly. There was a pause. "Light, you're okay, right?" His second sentence betrayed his concern and fear, as she stopped and turned around to look at him.

"I think so." He deserved the honest answer, if nothing else. "Come on," she murmured quietly, setting off after Snow again, boots making an unnaturally loud sound in the dead silence of the Waterscape. "Let's go." Lightning didn't think she could tell him that she couldn't continue to keep eye contact with him for fear that he would utterly expose the inner vulnerability inside that seemed to rise so easily these days now. _I can't let people who care about me get hurt again... even if it hurts, even if I need them, I can't keep them close if I want them to be happy._

_And that's the one thing I want... above all._

* * *

><p><strong>*pets Hope* Poor Hopekins... he really cares about her and all Light can think about is that she cares about him too, but she can't let it go any further because she doesn't want him hurt. *sighs* Light, you're one stubborn person... Anyways, things will really start heating up from here now, as we're just a mere few chapters from the end. *runs around screaming*<br>**

**Leave love as always, and I'll see y'all tomorrow!  
><strong>

**Hearts~  
><strong>


	56. Entangled Yearnings

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3**

**Once again, much love to my supporters: thewhitespirit, That One Reviewee (and awh, thank you! I do read every single letter of every review I get though, haha!), Erifrats101, H-thar (if I were Lightning... I'd be worried now. xD), and Zapper90! Thank you so much for all your support - NR hit 20K hits sometime last night, and wow, thank you all SO MUCH! As always, hearts to LadyAlaska~  
><strong>

**Enjoy as always!**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 56: Entangled Yearnings<span>

Their progress through the crystallized Sunleth Waterscape was faster than what Snow had expected it to be. Unhampered by monsters and enemies alike, Snow wondered where all the clones had gone as he looked around the blue crystal meshed almost perfectly with the lush landscape of the Waterscape. Some of the plants and trees had been untouched, though they were starting to wither without the fal'Cie care. For now, though, it seemed that _this_ part of Cocoon was untouched by Ragnarok's ire, though he wondered to himself what the place would look like in a few decades when the drought and lack of care would impact the Waterscape like nothing else. There was still the sound of running water that splashed into streams and lagoons, but the rest of the humidity would get eaten up quickly by the sheer size of the location. Snow found that the thought was somewhat disturbing. _This place hasn't really changed since Cocoon's fall... but in a few years, this place'll be unrecognizable. _

Casting a cursory glance behind him, he was somewhat relieved to see that Lightning, at least, was managing to keep up with him. They'd all seen her reaction the moment her feet had been planted steadily on the crystal ground of Cocoon, and seeing her react like that had almost made _him_ want to cave - it had been only through sheer force and will that he'd managed to stop himself and go over to her. _Because she's right. The last time we were here, fighting for this place, Serah was still with us. She still existed._ The thought was impossibly heavy, like a burden that held up the world, but Snow was determined to fight through it. _It's like I told Sis... we have to keep going._ _Baby, tonight... tonight you'll see the end we all wante__d to see. I swear._ The thought was empowering, and Snow cracked his knuckles. _We'll make it._

The shattering of crystal somewhere off into the distance instantly made him jerk his head up as Snow instantly turned to the direction of the sound. He heard something being unsheathed beside him, and he could hear the shorter breathing of Hope just behind him. Squinting through the mess of crystal leaves and trees, he tried to discern where the sound had come from. _That_ definitely hadn't sounded natural, even more so in the unsettling silence of the Waterscape that was encased in crystal. The bright moonlight from above was dimmed and diffused through the intricate web of crystal that Cocoon's shell was made of, but midnight couldn't be far away now.

"There," he heard Lightning hiss. Snow followed her gaze, seeing a slightly caved area several ledges downhill from where they were standing. He'd been about to leap from their current ledge when a rough tremor sent them all crashing to the ground as the crystal and verdant world of the Sunleth Waterscape shattered around them, raining down crystal shards and leaves - he winced when a splinter dug into his cheek. In the silence left by the death of the fal'Cie that monitored the Sunleth, Snow heard and felt a wind beginning to blow past his face, billowing his coat behind him as he closed his eyes to the unbearably chaotic world that had erupted around them._ What the hell?  
><em>

When he felt it was safe enough to open his eyes, he noticed the conglomeration of crystal and leaves alike in the once-lush forest paths, sprayed with mist from the lagoons and streams that had been disturbed by what he thought was an explosion. There was moisture on his cheeks and Snow winced when his thick fingers brushed the shard of crystal that had been driven beneath his skin. "Is everyone okay?" he rasped out, glad to hear that his voice sounded steady enough.

"Yeah." Hope's reply was a little distant. "But it looks like this place isn't." Snow looked up to see that both he and Lightning were already struggling to stand in the slippery mess left by vegetation and crystal alike as he followed the direction of Hope's gaze. Where the shattering of crystal had come from, there was now a large, dark blue half transparent dome... thing. It _looked_ like some sort of barrier, but he couldn't be sure from their vantage point. Pushing himself up with a small jump, Snow pressed two fingers against his left cheek until he'd removed the small crystal splinter, caught with several specks of blood, crushing it between his fingers.

"What _is _that?" he asked quietly, hissing the words between his teeth.

"We're finding out sooner or later, aren't we?" Lightning's quiet reply from his right made him look sharply at her. Her bare arms were also sprayed with water droplets as she shrugged her cape behind her again. Snow noticed her right hand tighten around her weapon before she visibly tensed, snapping her head up. "Get ready-"

She didn't have time to finish her sentence before a flare crashed into the ground in front, knocking them all back several feet. Rolling over on his back, Snow pushed himself up in a heartbeat, raising his fists in front of him. He didn't need confirmation even in the flickering flame that cast odd shadows on the Sunleth trees and crystal shards when he saw the single wing silhouetted in the diluted moonlight from above.

_Bastard._

* * *

><p>Lightning drew her right arm back the moment she saw who it was, forcibly pushing down the rush of emotions that were inevitable the moment she laid eyes on him. <em>Serah...<em> She felt like being sick again, the feelings that had haunted her the last time they'd met coming back full force as she tried not to back away into a tree. _I can't... I can't keep reacting like this._ _Not if I want to protect him._ She heard Snow snarl something just beside her, as the burly fighter drew up his fists. A small pressure pushed against her right side - it was Hope's elbow, but he wasn't looking at her this time. He was staring at Yorun, the green glint in his eyes reminding her of-

_No!_ That was the look he'd worn in the Gapra Whitewood, the look he'd worn in Palumpolum. This time, it wasn't Snow he was mad at. She knew perfectly well why he was looking like that... and it was precisely what she _didn't_ want. _This is why... this is why I can't be close to anyone anymore. Because... because of this. Because they all wan__t to protect me. _Taking a breath, she held her gunblade up to shoulder height, her resolve dissipating the earlier indecision and pain twisting her interior.

"Looks like we want to fight this time," Yorun remarked smoothly, smiling at her. "Tell me, Lightning, how does it feel to _fail_ someone you so dearly cherished?"

_Shut up... shut up!_ Resisting the urge to cover her ears with her hands, Lightning knew she wasn't winning when the words drove a pained gasp from her lips and she staggered back a step or two, clinging tighter than ever to her weapon that had dropped limply to her side. Closing her eyes, she tried to assuage the storm of emotions that was ripping her apart inside again, hating herself at the thought that one simple question was enough to eradicate the sense of purpose that had taken her weeks to recover. _Why... am I so pathetic?_ If it wasn't for Hope who had grabbed her left wrist, she was quite sure she would have sunk to her knees, before she remembered that she was no longer supposed to be welcoming his support and the warmth it provided. _I can't... I can't see you end up like Serah..._ Twisting her arm out of his grip with a hoarse gasp, she caught his look of surprised hurt, but there was no time to explain things to him. _If you even would understand..._

"You fucking-" she heard Snow growl, before the sound of a spell crashed into the ground and she opened her eyes to the sight of the Waterga that caught the ground in its embrace, wiping out the last vestiges of the flare attack that had scorched and burned crystal and leaves alike. Lightning saw both Snow and Hope glance to her before visible frustration and anger crossed Snow's gaze. "Relentless Assault!"

Letting her body automatically go through the motions, Lightning tried to detach herself from reality by letting only the most primal, most instinctive part of her soldier sense take over. It was easier to deal with this way when she let that override her emotions, especially when something to _do_ was right in front of her. Her omega weapon caught the blow of the spear full on, as the man moved away from them in the light of their attacks. Hope's Firaga caught the edge of the wing, burning off the tips of several flight feathers, but the man seemed ultimately undaunted as he continued to move away from them, spreading the single wing as he moved in the direction of the dome-like barrier that he had to have set up.

"Catch me if you can," he smirked in their direction before his wing took him out of range of their attacks. Hearing Snow's heavy breathing as the big man paused in his assault of the man, she stopped as well, dropping her right arm to her side again, weapon dangling limply from her fingers.

"Light? Is something wrong?" Hope's tentative voice sounded scared beside her, and she knew he had to be thinking of the way she had all but ripped her hand from his earlier. _Hope, I didn't mean... _Just like before, with Serah, she couldn't tell him the reason why she'd done it. With Serah, she had been scared that her sister would never accept the meaning of the prophecy, but with him... _I need him. I know that. But if it means he'll be safe, then I don't matter. _She'd find some other way to keep living... if it came to that. The thought was terrifying and undoubtedly painful, but... _But some things in life... you just do_. Clenching the fingers of her left hand together, Lightning looked up at the very top of Cocoon's shell that was blocking out most of the stars and the moon, not surprised when the silent cold blaze of silver light did nothing to calm her feelings and uncertainties.

"No... I-I'll be okay." Her voice came out shaky, especially when she caught his glance. She wanted to tug away when he slowly closed a hand on her vest, but Lightning pushed down the urge. _I can't... _Hope's emerald gaze was serious and it held both concern and pain.

"I don't believe you," he murmured quietly, platinum hair dusted with shards of crystal that sparkled in the filtered moonlight. "Light..." Her name was somewhat of a whine as he looked expectantly up at her.

_How do I even begin... _Doubt suddenly twisted at her again, and she forced herself to look away from him. _I'm sorry... _"Hope... please." She sounded more pathetic as ever when the words came out akin to a pained whimper and she saw alarm cloud his expression. "I promise... I'll be okay. Just... stop worrying about me, okay?"

Lightning saw him open his mouth to say something else before clearly thinking better of it, and she saw him push away the confusion and pain in his green eyes. "Alright. But, Light? You have to tell us... if something's _really _wrong, alright?" She couldn't give him an answer other than nodding at him, watching as Snow gently dragged him by the arm to follow Yorun down the sloping hillside of the Sunleth Waterscape. Pushing her body into a weak run, she tried not to hate herself more than she already did.

_Maker... I _know_ I care about him... romance, love, whatever the heck this is supposed to be. And it hurts... it hurts to push him away like that. I never expected myself to feel so close to someone else that that would _hurt_ like that. _It had been a long time before she finally let herself admit that, even past the awkwardness and obvious inappropriateness of those feelings, even past the doubt that tore at her at the thought of letting someone else in like that. _But... _because_ he means so much... I can't let him end up the same way Serah ended up. I can't let him get hurt because of me._

_ And so, this is the __only way to go forward... even if it means hurting for the rest of my life._

* * *

><p>Hope tried not to let Lightning's odd reaction to his gesture of comfort get to him more than it should have, but he couldn't help it - it nagged at him even as he ran after Snow in the moonlit Sunleth Waterscape, hearing her footsteps crunch through crystal and fern fronds alike behind him. <em>She's never pushed me away before...<em> he thought miserably, unconsciously tightening his hand on Nue at the thought. _So why..._

He thought she'd understood. It wasn't necessary to voice every feeling to make someone else understand, and he thought that in their one moment of unbroken connection by the window, on that rainy day, she'd understood, even _reciprocated_ those feelings. That moment had been impossibly warm, impossibly touching, so he didn't understand why she was reacting this way now. _Like... like 'we' never existed. Like that moment didn't happen. __Why... Light?_

It hurt to think about it, but underneath it, he _knew_ she had understood. He _knew_ that she had known. Should he have been more careful and observant? He'd noticed the flicker of doubt and pain that had crossed her gaze when he'd linked hands with her when they'd just arrived on Cocoon, but his selfish side had told him it was just because she was reacting to the location... not him. But when she had torn herself away... that was when he stopped understanding and started doubting. Hope felt like shaking her until she told him exactly what was wrong, but he knew it wasn't the time for that. It seemed impossibly selfish that he was concerned about this when there was still... _When there's the whole world still at stake._

The barrier like dome grew larger in his vision as they crashed through the Sunleth Waterscape towards it. _If the Eclipse comes to pass... the way he wants it... the Door of Souls will open, and the fal'Cie dream will come true. _That thought was terrifying, but ironically, Hope felt almost _used_ to the fact that there was someone out there who wanted to acquire something from others' pain. _Has that... really changed?_

"Hold up," he heard Snow snarl in front of him - skidding to a stop on wet leaves as the forest in front of them opened up into a lagoonside, lined with smooth marble and various electronic devices that no longer worked now that Kujata no longer existed. The burly fighter extended a thick arm, stopping him from moving any further when Hope saw what Snow was staring at.

Yorun was waiting for them, the tips of his feet touching the surface of the water of the lagoon, spreading small ripples in the large pool, spear in hand. "You made it." The words were smooth, but he found it impossible not to look at the man without feeling the duality of both fear and anger bubble up inside. "Our Eclipse is just about to pass... will you wait here, and see the new world arise the moment the people outside this hovering orb are devoured by the darkness and its ensuing chaos, or will you try to _stop me?_"

"What d'you think the answer is, creep?" he heard Snow snarl just ahead of him. The metallic click of a weapon told him that Lightning had caught up with them, as the pink haired soldier moved in front of him to stand beside Snow. Hope could see the flash of her omega weapon as she slowly raised it to shoulder height again, her right hand trembling slightly.

A small chuckle. "Of course. You want to fight. Well then, shall we get started?" The first flash of the soundwave swept over them, only to be blocked by a Steelguard as Snow raised his arms in front of him. Hope could still feel the attack as it pushed against him, but, blocked mostly by the defensive act, it was much less potent and much less damaging.

"Delta Attack, Sis," Snow hissed in front of him, and Hope raised his left hand in preparation for an Aeroga, still partially shielded by Snow. The wind spell crashed into the ground, whipping up a tornado of water, but several flaps of the wing took Yorun out of range as he prepared to throw the spear at them. His heartbeat leapt into his throat when he saw that the tip of the sharpened metal stake was aimed at him.

"No!" he heard Lightning screech from somewhere behind him as her Ruin blasted aside the weapon before it could hit him. Turning slightly in her direction, Hope caught the panicked, terrified expression in her blue eyes when she locked gazes with him. He didn't have any time to say anything else to her before the spear vanished from where it was left pinned uselessly into a tree, and Hope saw it reappear in the man's hands, unscathed. The smirk was evident in the moonlight as he watched Yorun glance curiously from him, to her, the smile widening as he evidently figured out why she'd sent the Ruin where she did.

Forming a ball of energy in his hands, Hope watched as the man sent the attack not at them, but towards the sky, blasting away the crisscross of crystal stems and columns that lined the interior of Cocoon's shell, sending thousands upon thousands of crystal shards raining down upon them. The bright photons of light gathering in his hands again told Hope exactly what attack he intended to use next while they tried to avoid getting hit by the crystal rain. He heard Lightning's sharp intake of breath just a few feet away from him, and Snow's determined grunt as the blond brawler steeled his fists. "Combat Clinic."

The command came at the very last few moments that anything could be heard above the roar of wind that accompanied the initiation of the attack as wind pushed around him, churning cold into his extremities, yet, Hope could feel the warmth being broadcast from the flare that was about to be launched at them. Fighting to stay standing, he raised his left hand, his right clutching his weapon, so he could begin casting the cure spells the moment the attack hit them.

There wasn't even that chance before the megaflare hit them. Even weakened by Snow's Steelguard, even though he felt curing spells wash over him the moments in between impact with something behind his back and the initial burn and force of the flare, the attack was still enough to knock them all back as blackness washed over his vision.

* * *

><p><em>"Serah, no. You're not going out again tonight."<em>

_Her sister stared at her with puppy dog eyes, sapphire blue eyes full of pleading as she held her hands behind her back. "Pleeeeease? I promise I'll be home before ten." When Lightning didn't give in, Serah fixed her with a look that might have melted a weaker heart. "Claire... I'm not a little kid, okay?"  
><em>

_She scrutinized her sister for a few long moments, watching as Serah played with the pink strands of hair that dangled down the left side of her head in the ponytail pulled together with the sparkly hair tie. "You're not going to meet that... _Snow_ again, are you?" Her sister instantly looked down the moment she mentioned 'Snow' and Lightning caught the blush creeping up her cheeks. "No. Absolutely not."_

_Serah took a few steps towards her, but all Lightning felt like doing was cross her arms over her chest. Her sister had noted the disapproving look on her face, and a small sadness entered those familiar blue eyes. "Claire," she murmured quietly, her voice sad and wistful, "Why don't you like him?"  
><em>

_"Huh. Serah, why don't _you _tell _me_ why I don't like him? Who does he think he is, running around __with a bunch of kids, swinging around defective weapons? Maker, I don't think I've met someone more irresponsible than he is." Turning around, she refused to look at her sister, instead, directing her glare to the wall opposite. "The answer is still no." _

_Somehow, Serah squirmed her way in front of her again, small hands finding the exposed skin on her arms her uniform didn't cover. "Claire... that's... He saved me."  
><em>

_Her sister always seemed to find the most vulnerable spots to pick at her from. The trouble was, as much as she disapproved of Snow, Lightning couldn't but not admit the exuberant man _had_ indeed, done the very thing _she'd_ vowed to do: protect Serah. Still, that didn't mean she had to give in. Shrugging Serah's grip roughly off of her, Lightning buried her face in a hand. "I know that!" she snarled. "Isn't that enough... Maker, Serah, you spend half your waking time with him. How do I know that the next thing you're going to tell me isn't 'Sorry, Claire, I'm not going to university in Eden anymore and I'm going to stay with Snow'? He's going to ruin you, Serah, irresponsible as he is." _

_Her sister had flinched when she mentioned the possible scenario, and Lightning saw pain and doubt cloud Serah's normally bright and happy outlook. "Look, Serah, I didn't mean..." she began, unsure of how to start and unsure of how to even begin expressing how she felt. Amodar's words came back to her: 'Your sister wants to protect you too.'  
><em>

_She was caught in an unexpected, and admittedly undeserved embrace as Serah slowly pulled her arms around her middle. "Claire... I know. I _am_ going to university... I promise. I won't disappoint you."_

_Lightning knew she was going lose this when she realized she couldn't continue to see Serah look at her like that. "Alright, alright..." She gave a sigh of both resignation and frustration. "But if you're not home by ten... _sharp_, I know who to look for." Serah gave her a happy hug, planting a soft kiss on her cheek, which she felt like recoiling from, if the sight of a happy Serah didn't mean so much to her. _

_"I promise, Claire! We're just going to the Bodhum Ruins - Snow said he'd meet me there later, but we're going to explore!" Serah shut the door loudly behind her. Palms pressed against the cool glass of the window, Lightning watched her happy sister skip her way down to the beach, finally vanishing from view as trees and other assorted flora obscured her view of her.  
><em>

_"Serah..." Closing her fingers into a fist, Lightning tried to push down the unsettled thoughts. "That idiot had better take care of her..." she muttered under her breath, before walking away. There was housework to be done and a pile of bills waiting to be paid. She couldn't resist casting one last glance at the sunset outside the window.  
><em>

_"Stay safe... alright?"  
><em>

* * *

><p>Lightning opened her eyes to a world of both brightness and dark, her back pressed against something cold and hard. Raising a hand to the back of her head, she found no trace of blood - still, it was a few moments before she pushed herself to her feet. Her world spun for a few agonizing heartbeats before her vision and breathing settled, and she allowed herself to look around.<p>

Yorun was nowhere to be seen, and in the wake of the megaflare he'd launched at them, the entire lower expanse of this part of the Sunleth Waterscape had been blown apart, revealing marble, stone, and crystal alike in the absence of the lush plants. Her heart pounded wildly for the fraction of a second before she spotted both Snow and Hope, the latter's distinctive platinum hair noticeable even in the mess of earthen elements and crystal fragments. It was only when she slowly, tentatively held her hand against his cheek, and was reassured that he was breathing that she allowed herself to relax. _You're safe..._

The relief and warmth was impossible to ignore, and Lightning let herself bask in that moment for a few heartbeats before she pulled the contact from him, taking a breath as she stood again; right hand fingering for her weapon, pulling out the gunblade. She knew where Yorun was - hidden away inside the barrier he'd created for himself, and she knew she had to go.

But she didn't have to take them with her. The fingers of her left hand were tangled in his platinum hair before she even realized what she was doing. _I don't have to drag you down with me. Serah..._ Forcing away the sudden onrush of pain, she fought to control her emotions, trying to keep them steady and under control for the fight she knew was still ahead.

"I'm sorry..." The words escaped her lips as she watched him sleep, undisturbed at the moment in the land of dreams. Even though she knew that the attack had knocked them all out, Lightning realized she couldn't contain the errant thought that trawled across her consciousness. _You look... peaceful, when you're asleep. That's how you should always look._

Tearing herself away, she couldn't look back, trying to use her breathing to steel her emotions and will as she picked her way through the crystal and stone to the place where she knew _he_ was waiting.

_I can't take you with me... Because, in the future that I want, you have to exist. No matter what._

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><p><strong>*sits in silence* Amen, Lightning, amen. Way to pull one of 'your' moments when Hope basically admitted that he needed you to be there. I can't imagine a better wake up slap for him when he does... Oh well. I must say, though, 'old Lightning' was amazingly refreshing to write: finally something I can have a baseline to work with! xD<br>**

**Anyways, leave love as always and I'll see y'all tomorrow!  
><strong>

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	57. In the Promised Land

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! (:  
><strong>

**Once again, thanks to all the love: H-thar, Lightarcana (and don't worry about it, your support is always greatly appreciated), Erifrats101, That One Reviewee, thewhitespirit, GCFarron, Mylaervain, OscarMerrinoz96, and Zapper90! As always, hearts to LadyAlaska. You guys are so awesome! 8D  
><strong>

**Yes, we are coming up into the end here, and wow, kudos to me that this chapter has the distinction of being _the_ longest chapter in the fic! So, lots of awesomeness ahead, as Light moves into her solo mission. *cackles* Anyways, a bit of credit here - I did use the theme of Dirge of Cerberus -Final Fantasy VII-'s theme song _Redemption_ by Gackt, and well, obviously I don't own it.  
><strong>

**Enjoy as always!**

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><p><span>Chapter 57: In the Promised Land<span>

Lightning felt nothing but a slight static brush her skin when she passed through the barrier, her foot instantly sinking into an ankle high pool of water. The landscape beyond the barrier was unfamiliar and strange - twisted shapes of crystal intertwined with a spiralling flight of uneven steps that led to someplace she couldn't see. Forcing away her thoughts and emotions, Lightning pushed away all thoughts of Serah and Hope. _I can't let... No. I have to finish this... and this is something I do alone._

She couldn't fathom what Hope and Snow's reactions would be when they woke up to find her gone, but she couldn't think about that now. "You can't get dragged down because of me," she whispered quietly to herself, willing the words to be true and to wipe away all other emotions apart from icy determination inside. Tightening her hold on her omega weapon, she began to follow the stepping stones, her footsteps echoing ominously in the thick silence that pressed down on her from all sides.

The only other sound that was present was the sound of dripping water as she followed the path up. Unable to see anything but shapes only a few feet in front of her, Lightning realized that her hearing was quite possibly more important than her sight at the moment. There was a spot of something bright far, far above her head, and instinct told her that was the place she needed to go. Stilling all other thoughts, she let her instinct guide her; pressing silent footfalls onto the smooth, somewhat water slicked steps, she let the cold, still air fill her lungs. _I have to finish this. __For Serah, for Hope... for everything we've ever fought for in the past. I _have_ to see that _his_ futur__e isn't the one that is written down in history._

She let those thoughts guide her actions, blocking out all other emotion as she climbed further, setting her eyes only on the bright spot in the distance.

_Your form quietly returns to space  
>What else can I do but avenge you?<br>I stared forever, until my tears withered away._

__My overflowing sadness doesn't disappear with your footprints  
>I swore that I would never forget.<em>_

* * *

><p>"Hope! Hope, get up!" Snow's loud words disrupted the blackness that enveloped him as Hope struggled to dispel the rest of the darkness, letting the big man shake the rest of unconsciousness from him; he found himself staring into the panicked ocean blue eyes of the blond brawler as he let Snow pull him up. "Have you seen Sis?"<p>

_What?_ "S-She's not here?" he stammered, unable to comprehend what Snow was trying to say.

"Can you see her here?" Snow threw up his hands in frustration and what he suspected was anger. "She didn't... No... _Fuck_, Sis, _why_ do you do these things?" The big man let go of him, stomping off into the pools of water left by the backlash of the lagoon in the megaflare's wake. Hope didn't even know where to begin thinking - he wasn't sure whether the thought that Lightning had left him behind again hurt more than the fact that it seemed she'd abandoned him completely.

_Light... why? Why do you have to... Why did you have to go? Why do you always insist on doing things by yourself? _Hope didn't realize he'd shrunk into a curled ball on the wet floor of the exposed Sunleth Waterscape until he could hear small waves wash against his shoes. "Light..." Her name came in the form of hoarse whisper. "Please don't tell me..."

A rough pull on his jacket made him look up. "Don't do that, aight kid? Come on, what are you waiting for, we gotta go find her!" Hope remained in the position for a few moments longer as he watched Snow dash off in the direction of the dark blue, translucent barrier, unable to find the strength to keep going. _She's left me behind again. _The thought was so forlorn that all he wanted to do was remain there, forever, until she came back. _What if... what if she never comes back?_

The terrifying tone of that thought was what drove him up in the end, to chase after Snow, his feet splashing in the puddles that kicked up droplets of water in his desperation to catch up with her. _She can't fight him alone!_ His instinct and emotions told him that was _exactly _what she was planning, and Maker knew that was the kind of person she was. If there was any aspect of the old Lightning that remained after Serah's death, it was that she still didn't want people to get hurt because of her. It was that she still cared, in her silent, discreet way, for the people she loved.

_For the people she loves._ Was that what he was to her? Hope didn't know, but at the moment, he didn't care anymore. _All I want... all I want is a future where both of us exist, where she's actually_ happy. The second thought was wistful, ludicrous, in fact, because he'd never seen her smile in a genuine way since Serah's death. Still, selfish and childish the thought was, it was an undeniable truth.

Snow's loud curse just ahead made him stop short - the big man was standing in front of the translucent surface, clearly agitated about something. _No... don't tell me..._ Hope caught the furious, frustrated look in the burly blond's eyes the moment he was able to clearly made out Snow's expression. "What?" he croaked, afraid of what he was going to find out.

"We can't get in. It's a barrier. How she got in, Maker knows, but we can't follow her." Snow's voice was a deadly, lifeless whisper that instantly sent icy claws of terror and apprehension down his back. Experimentally touching his hand to the barrier's exterior, he was instantly pushed back by a repellent force that bounced his hand at least half a foot back in his direction. _No! Light-_

He didn't get a chance to finish his thought before a shadow swept over the moonlit Sunleth Waterscape, clouding out the light and plunging them both into near darkness. Snow whipped around - the big man hissed something he didn't quite catch as Hope turned around. Not only had a disk begun to eat into the full moon that was directly overhead, a very familiar set of mismatched wings was prominent against the lightness of the Waterscape's forest.

"I've been waiting for my rematch."

* * *

><p>Lightning found that she wasn't out of breath at all when she scaled the last few stepping stones, leaping lightly over the slick puddles on the ground and the jags of crystal that decorated the environment, even here. Holding her left forearm in front of her face to shield her eyes from the brilliant glow just up ahead until her eyes grew used to the lightness, she felt something tug at her carefully controlled emotional landscape when she saw who was waiting for her.<p>

"You made it," Yorun remarked smoothly to her. "To be honest, I wasn't sure if you would come, but it appears you always surprise me, Lightning. How did it feel to leave your friends behind?"

The mere mention of Hope and Snow triggered at a spark of anger. "Shut up."

He laughed at her. "Angry now, are we? You didn't look so confident when I mentioned your sister. Forgotten her already?" Even in her current state, the words sent a stab of pain through her as Lightning tried to keep her exterior calm and in control. _No... I'd never forget Serah. Ever. Even when she's gone... forever._ "Don't forget that _you_ killed her," he finished, clearly relishing the effect his words were having on her.

She wanted to sink to the ground then and there, pain and emptiness eating away at her interior at the thought. For some reason, Snow's voice came echoing back to her the moment she tried to push away the doubt and despair. "_She loved you as much as you loved her._" Clinging to his claim, Lightning raised her eyes to the strange golden ones, locking her gaze with his.

"No. I didn't kill her." She was surprised at how strong the words sounded when she felt like such a wasteland inside. "You did." She saw him let out a disbelieving snort at her, before half turning to face what was in front of them - two pedestals with the crystals that he'd gotten before they did settled in them, some sort of energy fueling both the barrier and from what she could see, a projection of just how far the umbra of the Eclipse would reach.

"Regardless," he mused quietly, "We're close to the end... the Eclipse is about to begin. Why don't you join me, Lightning? It's a same to waste so much l'Cie power because you decided to oppose me. We can rule the new world together, you and I."

Lightning felt a rush of anger that pushed away some of the void of pain that had resettled itself inside her at his words. "In your dreams," she snarled slowly. "First, you try to kill us, end up killing my sister... and now you want me to _join you?_" Again, the words sounded much stronger than she felt as she grappled with the complex web of emotions inside, fighting to keep her voice steady. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Her last sentence made him snap as he whipped back around; she found anger in his golden gaze for the first time. "You don't want a part of this future, Lightning? Tell me... what do you do with this world, this one that lives on greed and feeds off others' pain? Don't you want to see it change? You should know this better than anyone. _You_ saved the world... and yet you see nothing for it. Is that fair?"

As she slowly processed his words, Lightning realized, that perhaps, there was a pigment of truth in them, as crazy as they were. Forcing her own insecurities back down her throat, she let out a soft retort. "It doesn't matter if it's fair or not... You still stand to gain the most from this." He smiled again, shaking his head at her as if he was explaining that one-plus-one-equaled-two to a little kid... like she didn't understand what he was saying.

"You deserved so much better... and in this new world, _everyone_ will get what is fair for them. Everyone will do what they were most suited for... there will be no more inequality."

_Does he... really think people are that simple?_ The thought crowded through her thorny mental condition, weaving between her pain and anger to reach her higher mental functions as she stared at him for a moment, unable to think of a coherent reply. "People... are not your tools," she said slowly, swallowing against the burn against the back of her throat. "You don't dictate someone's life for them. Maybe... maybe there is greed and anger, but it's _because_ we decide our own fates that makes life worth living." That much, she could allow herself to feel - it was what had driven her the first time, that she decided _her own fate_ and that no one else could stop what she wanted to achieve that had allowed her to reunite with Serah. _Serah..._

"You're foolishly deluded, Lightning, for someone who supposedly saved the world from fal'Cie rule. _You_ might be noble and not care about equality, but what about those who are less inhibited than you? Humanity is destined to consume itself, and here you are, advocating it."

This time, no hesitation held her back as she slowly approached the man. "I'm not... advocating it. You just don't get it... People don't live to be told what to do; they live their lives as they see fit." She paused, taking a steadying breath as she swallowed again, surprised to find that this time, it was easier. "Sure, there are people out there... who want to benefit from others' losses, but... But humanity has survived for this long, and the future is _not_ yours to dictate...People aren't born to be told how to live. People are born to create their own futures." _And there's one future I want... above all else. _

He gave her a long searching look, trying to find and expose the weaknesses she was struggling so hard to hide. Lightning felt her fingers close tighter than ever on the handle of her gunblade as he searched her expression for the insecurities and pain that she wanted to bury deep down again, before he gave a resigned sigh. "Then you leave me no choice, Lightning. You _will_ die here, tonight. You _will_ be absorbed into Alomere, who is currently fighting your friends. Would you like to place a dying bet on how long they'll last?" He smiled again at her as he summoned his spear. "No? Well, then, let my spear be the beginning of your end!"

For a moment, all she could comprehend was that somewhere out there, Snow and Hope were fighting too. Somewhere out there, she might lose him still, even though she had tried so hard to keep him out of all of this. _No... __I can't... I can't lose it now. I have to keep going... like I promised. _There was no other way forward, no room for her to leave herself any doubt. _The moment I give in... I'll lose. I can't... I _have_ to believe that if I win, the future _I _want will exist. _The moment her decision crystallized in her mind, Lightning felt an impossible warmth spread to the fingers of her left hand as something heavy formed in her palm. The pink rose crystal caught the light in front of her as she held it up, fingers curling into a tight fist around her Eidolith.

_I traced my bloody tears with my trembling fingers  
>I had nothing to lose, nothing truth<em>  
><em>My fleeting memories will fall into darkness<br>Your last smile comes into my mind, and disappears  
>Leaving behind only warmth.<em>

* * *

><p>Snow held up his fists to absorb the last of the wave attack with his Steelguard, before lowering his arms to take a hesitant step back. He knew from the previous time they'd fought that Alomere's weakness was his wings, but it seemed that they couldn't land a hit on them now, and he let out a growl of frustration. "Slash and Burn!"<p>

His Ruin was deflected by the tip of the war scythe, sending the grey ball of light into a crystal tree that exploded into thousands upon thousands of shards, spraying the steadily darkening landscape with bluish fragments as both he and Hope dodged backwards out of the range of another shockwave. Both of them were rapidly tiring - he knew they couldn't keep up with just attacking like this for much longer. Soon he'd have to call some recovery paradigm and that would give Alomere a chance to retaliate without hinderance while they were licking their wounds, so to speak. Casting another Ruin over his shoulder, Snow whipped around to block a scythe blow with his fist, trying to grip the shaft of the weapon so that the creature couldn't attack. "Hope! Arcane Defence!"

Steeling himself with a Mediguard, Snow raised his hands, beckoning the creature closer with one hand, flexing the fingers of the other. "Bring it, creep," he muttered under his breath. He saw the light catch in Alomere's eyes as the creature's attention was directed away from Hope and to him as it swooped towards him, mismatched wings creating uneven, inefficient eddies in the still air as shadow began sweeping over them, dimming the bright moonlight and wiping the distinct shapes of the landscape away; melding shadows and darkness together into one.

The first shockwave was majorly deflected by his guard, but the man launched another before Snow could reprepare himself for a second attack. This time, the attack slammed into him before he had set up his guard, knocking him back several paces as he stumbled back. Snow saw the tentacle whip out to grip him, catching the last of the moon's light before the last slice of the orb was consumed by the darkness. It pulled tight around one of his arms, slightly weakened by the guard he'd managed to half set up, but Snow could feel his strength being quickly sapped by the tentacle.

He'd been about to crash to the ground before a brilliant orange flare lit up his vision as Hope's Fira finally slammed into a wing. Recoiling the appendage, it was a few moments before Snow found the strength to clear the cotton balls from his head and the darker spots from his vision as Hope sent another Aeroga at the thing as it recoiled back from their attacks, launching itself up into the air above their heads.

"Nice work, kid," he managed to get out, giving Hope a weak thumbs up as the creature struggled to keep itself aloft in the air, struggling with the loss of two and a half of its wings as Hope gave him a shaky smile.

"You think this is over?" The guttural voice was strong as if it had been mocking them as Alomere brandished his war scythe back at them. "This is... _far_ from over! Soon, the Eclipse will begin... and you will be absorbed, like it or not. Your little l'Cie friend won't win against our new future ruler, and you will all cave to the unrelenting darkness of the Eclipse!"

_Sis! _Snow pushed away the panic that arose the moment the thing mentioned Lightning. They knew perfectly well who she'd gone after, and now, they could only fervently hope that she could win. _In her mental condition..._ Snow shoved the thought angrily away. _She knows what's at stake. What Serah fought for, who _she's_ fighting for now. __You_'_d have to be blind not to see how much the kid means to her. _

"She'll make it," he growled out. "For sure." It was more to reassure Hope than himself - he'd seen the platinum haired teenager flinch at the mere mention of Lightning - but Snow breathed in, steeling his own words inside him, willing them to be true. _It's gotta be._

"Yeah." Hope's quiet assertion of his comment made him more sure that he'd done the right thing, as they both moved forward again, a Thundara catching the wings that were still in flight. The creature staggered, and Snow took the opportunity to leap up into the air, sinking a fist into the thing, pummeling it over and over as his last Blindside sent it sprawling onto the ground. It fell still, unmoving, on the damp ground of the Waterscape as he landed, boots splashing in the puddles left on the earthern landscape.

As he warily approached it -Hope just behind him- it made no move to get up, no move to defend itself. When he came within arm's reach of it, suddenly, it flashed its arm out, missing him by barely a few inches as he staggered to the side, almost crashing into Hope. Slowly, Alomere lifted itself up from the ground, eyes flashing in anger.

"You thought you could win. Even if I lose here... the Eclipse is about to begin. If your friend can't stop Yorun, all of you will be consumed by the darkness. I-" Snow didn't let the thing finish its sentence, sending an Aquastrike into its chest, flinging it away from them and into the trees, the war scythe clattering to the ground uselessly.

It was awhile before anyone else spoke; both of them were breathing hard as the shadows lengthened, blotting out the last traces of the moonlight as the moon was eaten by the darkness sweeping over the landscape. "Snow?"

He felt Hope back into him as he whipped around, about to ask what was the matter when he saw what the teenager was looking at. The shadows were beginning to clump together into definite forms, red eyes slowly gleaming to life in the gloom as choking purplish-black smoke swirled around the legs that touched the ground.

_What are... these things?_

* * *

><p>Meeting the blade of the spear with her omega weapon, Lightning dodged to one side, sweeping the weapon away from her so that it pinned into the ground, clutching tightly to her Eidolith with her left. Her decision removing all other emotional attachments to the situation, it was infinitely easier to move on instinct and not think about anything else but coming out from the battle alive. <em>Hope... Snow... you have to be alright. I have to believe that. <em>Throwing the crystal a few feet into the air, the blade of her gunblade sliced cleanly through it, sending a flurry of rose petals through the air. _The future I want... _will_ exist!_

_You told me  
>To live as if you were to die tomorrow<br>Feel as if you were to be reborn now  
>Face as if you were to live forever.<em>

Catching the gust of wind that Odin's arrival, she landed cleanly on her feet as her Eidolon plunged its bladed weapon into the ground, knocking the one-winged man away from her. "Come on," she hissed, moving forward in one movement with Odin as she used its force to push herself forward again, intending to take full advantage of the momentary staggering movement her Eidolon provided. She saw him narrow his eyes at her, and instantly, Lightning tensed her muscles. _He's got something up his sleeve. I know it. _She didn't catch the shape of the bright red crystal as it was flashed into the air before a sonicwave destroyed it.

Ullr's Shield defended her from the aftereffects of the attack and she straightened behind her Eidolon's defensive posture, narrowing her eyes as flames consumed the rose petals that had swirled around them when she'd moved forwards to attack. Gripping her gunblade, Lightning saw the figure of a scarlet beast rise several yards away from her.

"Burn them to ashes... _Ifrit!_" The beast like summon clawed against the shield, large talon like hands raking parallel lines through the ground, leaving scorched marble behind. Thinking fast, moving out of range from the next claw attack, Lightning sent a Ruin at Yorun, not intending it to hit, but instead, to have him use his summon to defend himself; she took the moment that Ifrit moved away from her to push herself into a run, getting as far away from the summon as possible. _I have to be far enough... to use Sleipnir!  
><em>

Pushing herself into the air, sending another Thundara crashing into the ground in her wake, she cast a glance at Odin. "Let's go," she huffed, using the momentum of Odin's transformation to slip onto its back, gripping its blades tightly in both hands. From her higher perspective, she could see the area more clearly around them: the place was in a rough circular area, two of the four directions dropping off sharply into sheer cliffs - she was quite sure that if any of them fell over that, there would be no point of return. A surge of doubt twisted her stomach when she saw that Yorun was still looking in her direction with an expression of something close to amusement. _Hope... _Pushing away her insecurities, Lightning tried to focus once again on the battle awaiting her; doubt and anguish would only serve to cloud her judgment and she knew that, only, this time, she _could not _let it take over again. No matter what the man said, no matter what he did, she could only focus on one thing.

"You still want to fight?" He gave a dramatic sigh, raising a hand to still his summon beside him. "Why can't you see that people will _never_ make the right choices? You live in a world that is ready to embrace its mistakes... for now. But people forget... They make the wrong choices all over again. They _say_ they'll never let things happen again... but there is always someone waiting in the shadows to take advantage of that. People can only understand what they've experienced - and in a world where no one's experienced pain, how will you say that no one wants to step in to take power?"

"We don't," she responded quietly. "No one... can say that. But... humanity should live in a world where we're free to _make_ those choices, whether they're the wrong ones or not." Fighting to keep her voice steady, Lightning tried to take as little breath as possible between her words. _I know... I know what he's trying to say. But it's not right... we live to control our own fates. No one else's. _

"Really," he smirked at her, voice drawing out into a long hiss. "And what will you do if someone else saunters in to take power once again? What will you do then, Lightning?"

That was the one question she had an answer to. Perhaps it had been there all along, perhaps it had been ingrained into her for the whole time, and perhaps it had been weakened in the weeks since Serah's death, but Lightning knew there was only one response to that. Whether she had wanted it to be a part of her answer, whether it had been something she'd always known, she didn't know. But it was the irrevocable truth, the _one_ thing she knew she could do. She wasn't like Serah, or even Snow... they could move people with their words: there was only one way, there had only ever been one way, for her to keep going, to keep _living._

"I'll fight," she hissed back, raising Odin's blades as she nudged the metallic horse into motion, setting her eyes on the scarlet beast just in front of Yorun. The moment the short sentence left her lips, Lightning knew that it was, in some way, a truth that had existed her entire life. Ever since her parents' deaths, all it seemed was that she was fighting... in one way or another. Fighting to protect Serah, fighting for Cocoon... even now, she was still fighting to see past Serah's death... _And..._ _a__nd him. I'm still fighting to see that future. _

Meeting Ifrit's claws head on with the scythe blades, she shoved aside the long talons that left gouges in the earth, flinging the spare blade in her left hand upwards, slicing with an uppercut. The beast reared back, large arms flailing as she cut into it, leaving black trails of smoke where the wounds should have been. A large hand slammed onto her back when Sleipnir backed away a few steps, thrusting her forward into the Eidolon's metal neck as the impact drove the breath from her lungs. Whipping around the moment she could breathe again, Lightning used the blade to press a Thunderfall into the summon as Odin leapt away from the crevices her attack had formed.

Feeling the Eidolon's gallop jostle her up and down as it took her out of range again, she took the moment to blink sweaty tendrils of pink hair out of her eyes as the wind blew back the rest of the tangled cherry coloured locks of hair. Seeing Ifrit drop to one knee on the ground after her last attack, she moved as Yorun sent a shockwave her way, leaping off Odin to avoid it. Jumping again to avoid the second sweep, she gripped Odin's blades to her the same moment the man raised his hand, as they locked eyes.

"_Hellfire!"_

"_The storm is here!"_

As both flames and roses suddenly choked the air, splitting the silence of the interior of the barrier as several million crystal tendrils that had reached their way through the barrier, Lightning glanced up. For a brief fraction of a heartbeat, the world outside the barrier was visible as the force of the attacks slammed into the roof of the barrier, revealing the moon's hazy silhouette.. Just before darkness and crystal fragments alike clouded all view of the world above, she found a filament of light from the dying moon, like the thinnest tendril of down from an angel's wings.

_Right now, I can't be cured by words  
>That are only gentle -<br>I'm just going to give my everything  
>To the battle that rages on until the end of time.<em>

* * *

><p>They all heard the shriek of glass and stone as it shattered under impact from inside the barrier. Hope found himself instinctively clutching Nue tighter in his right hand; back to back with Snow as they fought the shadow creatures that had emerged from the Eclipse. The gloom that swirled around them made them harder to see in the darkness, and he could tell that Snow was also getting tired. <em>If this keeps up, soon... soon even cure spells won't be enough. <em>

He _could not_ let himself think about Lightning. Hope knew that the moment he did, the moment he even let so much as a fraction of his attention drift to her, he wouldn't be able to continue, that all he would be able to think about would be that she had to be okay. The sound of splitting glass had been unnerving, but it was better than the one scream he knew he never wanted to hear again. _Light, you have to be okay, you have to be!_

"Hope," he heard Snow huff behind him. "Let's try to find the barrier again, aight? Maybe it'll be weakened after that." He didn't think so, but it was better than standing here, away from it, to take on the army of shadow creatures that seemed to have no end. Every time they took one out, ten more rushed in to take its place - what was frustrating wasn't that they were difficult in any way to kill, it was that in the end, Hope knew they would be overwhelmed by sheer numbers as claws and fangs tore from a million different places in the creatures' fight to maim and kill anything that was not their own.

Going by sheer memory and instinct alone, Hope didn't know how many creatures his one Thundaga took out, but there was no end to the tidal wave of red eyes that glowed eerily in the darkness and the claws that seemed to reach from nowhere, hooking at anything that moved. The wraiths weren't sentient - he'd seen plenty of them claw apart their own kind, but it was their overwhelming instinct to utterly _destroy_ that was their asset. He had no idea how the army down on Gran Pulse was faring... if, indeed, there was still a chance that they would win, but a rough shove from Snow took that thought away. It was probably for the better anyways - he couldn't imagine that the army, exhausted from battling clones, would fare well enough to stop enough deaths to prevent the Door of Souls from opening wide enough to create the new world.

Hope knew they had reached the barrier when something not solid, but repellent enough to be, bounced him back from where he was going. He'd been right - it was no less forceful than it had been earlier, and only the Maker knew what was going on inside. Try as he might, Hope couldn't keep the thoughts from cascading down on him as the barrier pushed his hand back.

_Light, please... I just want you to be alright. I just want there to be a future... for 'us'. _

* * *

><p>Landing on one knee as her rose shaped Eidolith slowly dissolved into the palm of her left hand, Lightning tightened her grip on her omega weapon as she rose to her feet, hoisting the weapon to shoulder height again. The conglomeration of their attacks had rendered the area almost unrecognizable as cracks and scorches lined the landscape, crystal fragments scattered across the surface of the now fractured marble. Holding her left hand up to her chest for a moment to calm her ragged breathing, she saw Yorun stand in the dust that had settled across the place.<p>

Slowly, not lowering her weapon, she walked towards him, footsteps echoing in the renewed silence of the interior of the barrier, occasionally stepping in the shallowest of puddles, the splash sounding ominously loud in the disquiet as she made her way towards him. He glanced up as she came into view, one hand gripping a knee, the wing bent in several places. She knew she had to look just as bad - there was a painful line down her back and she could the feel sting of several burns grazed across her right arm, but at least she was standing. _I can't waste... more time trying to cure myself. _Not only might her dwindling reserves of magic be the one thing that would save her later, she also didn't know what he could be hiding up his sleeve. _It's not... that bad._

The spear grazed her side before she even had time to react to it; letting out a small hiss of pain, Lightning kicked away the weapon before he could reach out for it again, bringing her omega weapon back down on the arm that had launched it. Greeted with a satisfactory amount of what she could only assume was actually blood, she held her weapon up into his face, the tip of the blade aimed at his forehead.

"You still haven't won," he remarked quietly, glancing at the spot on her side where his weapon had grazed her. Fear froze her to the spot for a moment as she watched him begin to grasp the familiar photons in his remaining hand, all the while giving her a very icy smile. "You _can't_ win now."

She wasn't going to give him that chance.

Running forwards, ignoring the flash of pain that tore at her side, Lightning raised the gunblade to attack position, keeping her eyes on him when confusion swept across his gaze: clearly, he hadn't expected her to go for him. _"I control my own fate!"_

She kicked his legs out from underneath him, slashing away with the omega weapon, but he didn't make a move to stop her. She knew that he was concentrating his remaining energy on focussing the one attack that could save him - she couldn't give him the time to launch it. Sweeping the area in front of her with the gunblade, he still wasn't backing down, trying to extend the single wing in an effort to take flight so she couldn't reach him. Knocking the wing with a kick, she saw him stagger as she brought down the blade just as he looked up.

The weapon first met resistance other than air as it sank into flesh, then bone. That was also the moment the megaflare was pushed into the space, illuminating the darkness with its fiery blaze. Her own Thundaga left her hand, but she wasn't aiming for the flare. Lightning could only make sure her thunder attack crashed into the pedestals with the crystals, shattering both them and the umbra's projection, before the force of the megaflare slammed her onto her back.

Just before darkness crashed down on her like a tsunami, she saw the barrier begin to dissipate as the first edge of the moon began to flood back, touching silver highlights to the surroundings around her.

_Hope..._

_Letting my broken wings flap,  
>I tried to erase everything.<br>Someday, we all will meet our demise  
>But until the final bell stops tolling...<br>_

* * *

><p><strong>*wiggles fingers*<br>**

**Well, I'll leave all interpretation up to you guys... haha. *shuts mouth*  
><strong>

**Leave love as always, and I'll see you guys tomorrow with the next chapter (no, we're not done yet! D:)!  
><strong>

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	58. Invisible Wings

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR! :3

Hearts as always go to: H-thar, Mylaervain, Lightarcana, Whistlewind Wolf, thewhitespirit, That One Reviewee, and Zapper90! You guys are all so awesome, and of course, as always props to LadyAlaska! (:

So I think I left you guys off with the classical "Did she die?" question, lol, so we'll get started straightaway, shall we? n_n

**

**Enjoy as always! **

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 58: Invisible Wings<span>

As light slowly pervaded back into their surroundings, Hope glanced back up at the moon that was slowly regaining its brightness as the earth moved away from between the alignment of the sun and moon. Suddenly, the overwhelming crush of monsters thinned; there was instantly more breathing space and _time_ to gasp for breath between casting spells and dodging attacks. He heard Snow give a sigh of relief as they knocked back one of the wraiths, freeing a clear space between them and the straggling of monsters. Nue caught the foreleg of one that had gotten too close, as the moon's light touched silver highlights to the Sunleth Waterscape, lining the trees and crystal once again in brightness.

The light seemed to brand the monsters as it grew stronger - Hope saw them shrink away from the moon as it reappeared from behind the shadow, bit by bit. It would be a couple of hours more before the moon's light was full again, but hopefully... _Hopefully enough people haven't been killed yet to actuate the Door of Souls... Maybe, just maybe..._

A sudden pain lanced through his brand - looking down, he saw with alarm that the etched, damning tattoo was slowly fading, the lines of the mark of a Pulse l'Cie beginning to disappear from his skin. A hoarse gasp from Snow somewhere behind him told him that the same thing was happening to the blond brawler as he whipped around.

"What the hell?" Snow's disbelieving voice sounded far, far away as Hope stared at the spot on his wrist that had been for so long occupied by the mark that he wasn't used to seeing it not there anymore. "Why-"

Snow didn't get to finish his sentence before the barrier in front of them melted away into nothingness, leaving the world that had been beyond it open to the Waterscape and the newly returning light. The sight pushed away all other thoughts from Hope's mind as his body tore across the landscape before he was even aware that he was, Snow only a few paces behind him. There was only one repeated thought in his mind, as his feet took him into the shallow water that spilled out from the spring that had been contained by the barrier. Looking up at the twisted stairs that rose above his head, he didn't waste any time before running up the steps, breath hoarse in his throat as he pushed for the top.

_Light... Light, you have to be okay! Please..._

* * *

><p>There was only silence.<p>

For a moment, there was the feeling that there was nothing but the void, nothing but falling endlessly, before her back hit something hard. It wasn't cold, though, and it wasn't dark. Lightning didn't know where she was, but there was only warmth, and the sense that she wasn't alone... that she would never _be_ alone again. Unsure of where she was, she was afraid to open her eyes, instead, letting the warmth envelope her like a shroud. Her body felt light - all pain wiped from it, it took a moment for her to realize what was missing._  
><em>

The pain that twisted at her, the emptiness that consumed her, was gone. Lightning had no idea of the last time she'd felt so emotionally stable; it had felt like forever since that was even a remote possibility.

_"Oh Claire,"_ someone sang. _"Wake up."_ The voice was very, very familiar, and it was a long time before she conquered the shock and sudden doubt that invaded her like a blade, finding the strength to open her eyes. She hadn't heard that voice in a very long time.

"Serah..." Her sister's name already felt unfamiliar on her tongue, the sounds and syllables foreign. Serah's hands were clasped behind her back as she met the sapphire blue eyes with her own ice blue gaze. Serah's hands flashed out, pulling her into a standing position. There was nothing around them but white, and shapes she couldn't discern in the shifting paleness. "Serah, where...?" Suddenly, she was afraid to know. If she could see Serah like this, then... _Then does this mean..._

Her sister fixed her with a serious look, placing a slender finger over her lips before slowly letting go of her, gazing intently at the look on her face. "You're... you're not _dead_, Claire, if that's what you're thinking." She paused. "I just... well, I wanted to tell you something."

For a moment, all Lightning could do was stare at her, trying to understand the simple two sentences that shouldn't have occupied more than just a little of her cognitive functions to process. _Tell me... what?_ And then, just like before, she was afraid to know. What Serah wanted to say to her, she could only guess at, but she thought she had a pretty good idea of 'what'. What would Serah berate her about this time? The clinging depression she wasn't able to shake off, no matter how much the people around her tried to help? Or... _Or Hope? _

Serah's arms were pulled around her before Lightning had a chance to react otherwise, her sister's soft hair pressed against the hollow of her throat. "Claire... stop. You have to stop hating yourself." Lightning wrenched herself away before Serah could say another word, hugging her arms to herself, the familiar pain and emptiness rising like a storm inside before she could control it.

"Why... why do all of you _care_? Why do _I... _Why does how _I _ feel matter so much to you?" The words sounded like something of a choked sob, and she saw Serah bite her lip. "I..."

"Because we care and... Because we all love you." The soft, simple statement was like a slap in the face. _Love... again. I'm sick and tired of 'love'. So many things have gone wrong because I've 'loved' people... Serah... even Hope. _That was a fact that she could no longer hide or deny. Serah's gentle touch on her right arm made her look up; Lightning wanted to pull away again, but something in her sister's expression made her suppress and push away that urge, however strong it was. "I know... I know you've never been one for hugs... You've never been one to explicitly say 'I love you' to someone. But don't you see? In everything you do, in everyone you try to help... you show it. _That's_ why people care about you, love you right back. Because they know that."

"Stop. Serah, just stop talking... I don't want to hear it." She sounded pathetic against the firm words of her younger sister, but Lightning couldn't keep the tremble out of her voice, nor could she stop the pain that ripped at her interior. Trying to calm her ragged breathing, she tried to find something else to focus on, tried to find something else to divert her attention to, but between the void and Serah, there was nothing else.

"Claire..."

She tried to muster a glare to silence Serah, but her expression only served to increase the insecurities in her sister's expression. "Just... just tell me one thing. Serah... why didn't you... Why didn't you run when I told you to?" Her voice was barely louder than a whisper as she finally voiced the question that had chased her for so long, clung to her like an animal that wouldn't let go of its wounded prey. It hurt to even ask it... but she had to know. As much as it pained her, she had to know why... had to know why her sister hadn't taken her explicit request for her to live, and instead... _Instead, she died for me._

Serah had turned around, her pink hair and ponytail brushing the transparent sweeper at her back, one hand pressed to her neck. But the reply that came wasn't the one Lightning had expected. "Do you remember... the childhood stories that Mom told us?"

Of course she did. Those were one of the moments of her childhood that Lightning had allowed to continue to exist after her mother had died, because in those times, Serah had been her happiest. Her sister had loved fairytales more than anything... but she didn't see how that had to do with anything. "Serah-"

Her sister cut her off, looking back with an expression of pain... and she was almost _afraid_ to admit it: love, in her blue eyes. "Claire... do you remember... _that_ story... the one that always made me cry... and the one that always made you tell me you'd never let me do something like that?"

She remembered that too. She didn't need the reminder that Serah gave her, but her sister began recounting the story anyways, her bellchime voice soft and lilting as she recited the story, clasping both her hands to her chest.

_'The little mermaid took the knife from her sisters, and slipped into the royal bedchamber, where the prince and his new bride slept peacefully together. Watching them, so peaceful, so _innocent_, in sleep, the knife trembled in her fingers. The person her heart held so much love for, the person she could never imagine being hurt by her, was just a few feet in front of her, wrapped in the safe net of the land of pleasant dreams. Faint rays of orange light were beginning to filter through the stained glass windows of the ship, and dawn could not be far off._

_'But as she raised the knife, pain and indecision twisted her heart; she could no longer bear the thought of the prince she loved so much dead. When the pink glow of the rising sun caught the blade, turning it into a rosy glow, she threw it. The little mermaid watched as the blade landed with a small splash in rising seas._

_Just as the sun rose, turning the sky into a beautiful orange, the little mermaid flung herself into the sea. But when she hit the surface, she felt no fizzing of bubbles.'  
><em>

"I would stop Mom there." Serah's voice was quiet, musing. "And I would always ask her 'Mommy, why didn't the little mermaid kill the prince so she could live?'" At this, her sister turned back to her, looking down at her shoes. "No matter how many times I asked... the answer was always 'love'. And I didn't get it... wasn't love being together with someone? Claire... do you remember what Mom's answer always was?"

She did. Struggling to understand Serah's motives, her mother's response came back to her, clarity and emotion in those words overriding her own pain. '_Because she loved the prince. She didn't want to hurt him. He had a right to live, and her life shouldn't have robbed him of that. Because she was a kind hearted person who wanted those lives she had touched to be happy.'_

"I don't understand," she croaked out, unsure of where Serah was going with this, wondering if she wanted to _know_ where Serah was going with this. Serah slowly took Lightning's hands up in her own, fixing her with an intent gaze she couldn't look away from. She had no idea what her sister meant, had no idea why a childhood bedtime story had anything to do with her current situation. In her mental condition bogged down by the clinging depression and her own insecurities and doubts, Lightning couldn't process what Serah wanted from her.

"Don't you see... Claire? I didn't want you to keep giving up everything you had... for me. You never said 'I love you' to me... but that didn't matter, because I _knew_ that you did... and still do. I wanted you to find the happiness you deserved. That's why I did it. Just like her... I wanted the people whose lives that I touched to be happy. I didn't want to see you getting hurt again... because of me."

Lightning found herself sinking to her knees before Serah had even finished. Her hands slipping out of her sister's grip, she had her palms flat against the ground as she struggled to breathe through what she could only describe as painful rocks that felt lodged in her lungs and throat. "Serah, why...? You had Snow. You had everything you wanted. I..."

"And I wanted you to live your own life." There was a small pause. "You've found it... haven't you? _Your_ someone. The person _you_ want to fight for."

_No!_ She knew. Serah had to know... about her and Hope. Looking up through pink bangs, Lightning saw that Serah was smiling sadly, almost wistfully, at her. Unable to process that, she looked down again, past caring when Serah bent down to her level, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

"It's okay. It's okay... to be scared. Just remember one thing, Claire. Age doesn't matter... when you care about someone. If it was meant to be, there'll be a way to work it out." At this, her sister stood again, turning her back, as something similar to the white void began eating at her silhouette, turning her into something intangible and indistinct. "You see? These... these are the connections and the _beauty _that came out of my death. These connections... sometimes they're tenuous, sometimes they're ephemeral, but they're magnificent nonetheless. Watching them grow, I began to see them as the price of the thing that had been my life. They wouldn't have happened if I didn't go, if I never stepped out to save you. Watching them become what I know will be something beautiful has made things easier... It's easier to accept that I'll never be with Snow or you again. Because... I promise, Claire. They _will be_ something beautiful that will come together in the future that you worked so hard to save. I promise."

The white brightness was becoming too overwhelming as Lightning shut her eyes to the light, feeling a strange, strong wind buffet her, tugging at her clothes and hair as it ripped past her, pulling at her slender frame still pressed to the ground on her knees. _"Claire? He's been waiting for you... He knows, and so do you. You're no longer bound to something that tied you to the duty of 'saving' the world... that died the moment_ he_ died. I think it's time... for you to start putting your energy into the people you care about... I think it's time you made the future you wanted... _your_ future, a reality, no?_"

She didn't have a chance to reply to Serah's last ringing words before the void washed over her.

* * *

><p>Warmth and cold were part of the same plane of existence, with warmth pressed to her hands and back, the icy coldness still pressured against the back of her legs. Voices were distant and felt like they weren't part of the same piece of time-space, as Lightning struggled to understand the words around her and the gentle shake against her shoulders.<p>

"Sis? Sis, wake up!" Groggily raising a hand to shield against the sudden blinding pierce of something bright, Lightning found herself looking up at the moon that was nearly full again - shadows still bit at its edge but it seemed that the silvery orb was steadily pushing away the darkness, determined to continue to shine. Through the hazy, diluted crystal lens of Cocoon, she could see the first faint fingers of dawn pushing their way through the blackness of the night sky.

Snow was still shaking her, holding her upright. She found that both her hands were trapped in Hope's. "Light?" His voice was tentative, scared, and she could see the pain that was clear on his face, pain that she had put there. "You're safe," he whispered, silver moonlight touching his platinum hair to an almost transparent likeness and illuminating the silver streak of tears on his cheeks. Looking down and closing her eyes again, she took a long breath, letting it out slowly, pushing away the rush of pain and doubt that her dream had left her. "You'll be alright, won't you?" His question, almost a plea looking for reassurance, tugged at her, pulling back every painful memory, every pigment of guilt and despair. _Everything I've done wrong... and everything I'll continue to do wrong, no matter how hard I try to do things right. How many mistakes will I make in the future I've created?_

Lightning could only manage to croak out a response in a choked, hoarse whisper. "I... think so."

_I don't... know anymore._

* * *

><p><strong>Not the ending I think most of you were expecting, but then again, there's an epilogue planned for a reason (which, also admittedly, probably isn't what most of you are expecting either) I won't say more about that than I should, so, I'll leave things here.<strong>

**That being said, _do_ expect the epilogue by tomorrow (I've been working on it on and off for about a week now as I worked on these other chapters) as I still have some editing/finishing touches I'd like to make to it before I post it. I don't think I'm lying when I say that the epilogue is the one sole chapter I really, really hope that I got right - I hope I don't disappoint you all!  
><strong>

**Leave love as always, and I'll see you guys soon!  
><strong>

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	59. Epilogue: My Hands

**So hi guys, and thanks for tuning into the next (and final!) chapter of NR! D:**

**Just a few notes this time before we begin - my long list of thanks and appreciation can wait until after everything that's going to happen... happens. I've used the dating system from XIII-2; honestly, I have no brainpower to think of a new one, and since everyone knows how the dating system goes in XIII-2, I just stuck with it. Also, the very famous (dearly beloved by me) song _My Hands_, by Leona Lewis, makes itself known in this final chapter as both the title and is used within this chapter; obviously, I don't own it.  
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**Enjoy as always!  
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* * *

><p><span>Chapter 59 - Epilogue: My Hands<span>

_New Bodhum, 4 AF.  
><em>

_I wake in the morning, tired of sleeping  
>Get in the shower, and make my bed alone.<br>_I put on my makeup, talk into the mirror  
>Ready for a new day, without you.<em>  
><em>

Lightning slowly pushed the covers off her slender body, rubbing her eyes in the bright morning sunlight that poked through her window. Slowly making her way over to it, she pushed it open, letting the warm spring breeze push past the mesh on the outside of the window and tug at the pink tendrils of hair that were twisted over her left shoulder. Standing there for a few moments, allowing herself to breathe in the air from outside, she let it calm her breathing before she made her way into the bathroom.

Pulling her uniform over her head was something she did automatically, without thinking, before she realized that the people at the Corps Building had insisted she take the day off today. It would be a waste of time to find something else. Slowly unscrewing the top from one of the various tubes lying around her sink, Lightning gently pressed the powdery substance over her cheeks and under her eyes. Makeup was never something she had considered worth spending money on in the past, but she had taken to it to hide the shadows of sleepless nights and equally painful waking moments. It helped reassure other people that she was alright... even if the outer change did nothing to alter how she felt inside.

Going downstairs to the kitchen was something else she did automatically. In the years since Cocoon's fall and the Eclipse, she'd tried to hang onto the words of the military psychologist, of just 'going through the motions'. It wasn't that she never felt 'confident' anymore... it was that in the face of peace that had reclaimed the land, there was nothing else to _strive_ for anymore... nothing else to protect. Robbed of a sense of purpose, the old depression had come creeping right back; only this time, she was more careful about showing it to others. If there was one thing she'd gotten better at since, it was hiding her pain and doubts somewhere deep, somewhere where she had hidden all those other emotions so long ago. She was glad that she _had _gotten better at it, even though there was no longer a need to hide it from anyone in this household: no one else lived here anymore.

Snow had moved to Eden, muttering about finding a job and starting somewhere new just a few weeks after the Eclipse had come to pass. She hadn't _blamed_ him; Lightning understood perfectly his reasoning for going that way - the house was too full of memories, too full of happy times that would never come to repeat themselves. Just like her, without a purpose to distract him, to keep him going, Snow was as helpless in the face of his grief as she was. He'd last called her a couple of weeks ago to let her know that he'd be visiting her soon, when he could take time off the job he'd finally found.

It had been different with Hope. As much as he wanted to stay with her, as much as_ she _could now admit she needed and wanted his presence, she'd steeled her will one last time, firmly telling him that he needed to complete his childhood, and that was by going to the high school Pulse Management had constructed in Eden. _'You need an education._' Those were the exact words she'd said to him, before she turned away, unable to even look at his expression after she'd said them, afraid of what it would do to her. So she'd shipped him off to Eden, to boarding school, before he could come up with a competent argument that would no doubt weaken her will and allow him to remain with her. Still, the connection between them was impossible to break, even when he was a hundred miles away. Her name was on the address they'd provided, and the schooling funds came out of her pocket. She hadn't minded though: it was the one thing she could do to make sure he could live the happy life she'd wanted him to. _It's my way to make up for everything I've done wrong._ He made a point of calling her every week, just to talk, and Lightning could admit that she looked forward to and _wanted_ the opportunity to be close, even though sometimes, she could only watch the voice mail pile up on her messaging system, unable to summon the strength to speak with _anyone_ when a particularly bad moment of memories and pain alike struck, usually triggered by something so small that her old self might have blown past it without acknowledging its existence.

Just the other day, in fact, she'd passed by a gift shop that had just opened on her way home from work. The words '_To a Dear Sister'_ on a greeting card in the window had almost made her go crashing onto her knees in the street. It was only after she'd forcefully squeezed her eyes shut and taken more than several calming breaths that she was able to walk away without looking back. She'd made a mental note of never walking home that way again.

Even so, it had been somewhat of a surprise, after all the years of following the simple instructions to 'just go though actions', when she found that one held something other than carefully controlled despair in it again. Those moments were usually small too: unexpected and simple, just like the way Hope had crept up on her; like the small bird that had made its nest in the tree just outside her window - she'd felt something other than her usual controlled, flat emotions when she witnessed one of its chicks first take flight. It had tugged at her in a way she hadn't expected it to, like the small ray of warmth in a newly uncovered place in a cave that never saw sunshine. Slowly making her way through the living room, Lightning took a breath before entering the kitchen - all too familiar memories flooding her consciousness when she saw the stove and fridge.

_And I walk steady on my feet, I talk - my voice obeys me  
>I go out at night, sleep without the lights<br>I do all of the things I have to, keeping you off my mind  
>But when I think I'll be alright, I'm always wrong, cause...<em>

She didn't feel like eating today; there was little point in going through the fridge when she didn't think she could keep it down. Lightning knew perfectly why everyone at work had wanted her to take the day off - but she hadn't wanted to agree. _They don't get it... being at work, doing _something_ keeps my mind of__f... Off everything else._ It was different at home, where there was nothing to distract her, where almost everything came as a painful reminder to what had been... and what might have been. At first, it had seemed almost impossible to go through the housework by herself, almost impossible to face the stark reminders alone, before she had mentally slapped herself and told herself that she couldn't continue to think like that. So she'd tried the thing that kept her going in their fight: to remove herself from her emotions. It worked to a degree: she would be unable to feel the emotions during the actions, but there was nothing to keep the emotional backlash away after she'd finished and sat down somewhere to rest.

Serah and Snow's room had been the hardest. Lightning had felt like she'd been watching someone else go through those motions, and the only reason she went _in_ that room was to clean it, not touching anything else, afraid of the small discovery that might trigger something else she couldn't control. She made no move to alter anything in the upper floors of the house - it was painful to look at and painful to think about, but it was less painful than going in to remove everything and throw it out.

Her feet had wandered outside, into the lawn that she'd kept meticulously, if only to distract her from everything else. The long, hot hours spent under the sun weeding and other assorted gardening motions helped keep her mind off things. That was something else she'd discovered: the more uncomfortable and the more exhausted she was physically, the less her mind tended to wander. The morning sun spilled across the verdant landscape, illuminating the one thing that symbolized what her life had come to revolve around.

Each fragile, pink patterned white petal reminded her of Serah. The tree had grown since Snow first planted it four years ago, its branches spreading over the grass like a protective blanket, pink and white blossoms holding their shape in the morning breeze, outlined by faint photons of sun. Her hands scraped across the rough surface of the bark, unfeeling, and yet, feeling everything this tree embodied. Pressing her forehead to the bumpy texture, Lightning tried to use that uncomfortable surface to make her forget.

It was impossible. She could as easily chase away those memories and those feelings like she could bring down Cocoon's eternal shell with one blow. There was no running from the fact that it had been _today_, four years ago, that Serah had died.

Suddenly, she was running, before her mind had processed why exactly her body was reacting this way. There was only the overwhelming desire to run, to _get away_ from the reminders and that was all she could comprehend. There was only the realization of _'away'_ and _'here'_, and she couldn't stand being _'here'_ anymore.

_I talk about you now, go a day without crying  
>I go out with my friends now, I stay home late alone<br>And I don't see you everywhere, and I can say your name easily  
>I laugh a little louder, without you.<em>

She was breathless and flustered before she looked up to take in where her desperate attempt to get away had taken her. Holding one hand to her chest as she tried to calm her hoarse gasps for breath, Lightning realized where her flight had taken her to. Possibly, it was more painful than where she had left, but there was no going back now. Her hands found the crystal base of Cocoon's shell surprisingly cool and smooth to the touch, as she tried to use the crystal structure as something that would return to her the intangibly beautiful wings she wanted to regain so badly... the wings that had been snapped the moment she _knew_ Serah was gone, the wings that she had never found the strength to pick up the pieces of.

Slowly raising a hand to rake through the sweaty pink locks of hair, she looked up at the immense, amaranthine crystal orb, hung in silence above her. It embodied just as much as the tree: sacrifice, love, determination... everything that had defined her life up until this point. Closing her eyes, Lightning tried to use the coolness of the surface under her hands to soothe the rising storm that was starting to build up inside, even through her attempts to control it back into the flat landscape she'd managed to keep it at. It was impossible - every year, on this day, she had hid under the covers, feeling too lethargic to even attempt to get out of bed. She'd tried to take to sleeping pills to escape, but they only granted her dreams that she would have done anything to get out of. So, last year, she'd made the vow to actually try and _do_ something on this day... anything to distract her, and it was working just as well as trying to hide in sleep. So absorbed was she in those thoughts that she didn't hear the footsteps behind her until they were almost too close to her.

"I thought I'd find you here."

_And I see different shades now, and I-  
>I'm almost never afraid now,<br>But when I think I'll be okay, I am always wrong cause..._

For a moment, she froze, unable to process or understand the meaning behind the remarkably simple statement and just what it implied. She knew who it was before she even had to turn around, but she didn't want to. It was only when a soft, gentle touch on her left shoulder pushed her out of those thoughts that Lightning summoned the strength to turn her head back.

Her instinct hadn't been wrong. He was right there, platinum hair touched to a soft gold by the rising sun, dressed in a hastily thrown on school uniform. He'd been walking for awhile, she could see that.

"Light..."

Unable to say his name, she let his grip on her shoulder tighten, noticing that now, it was him that looked down on her. "You've gotten taller than me," she mumbled lamely, unable to find an otherwise suitable statement that didn't betray her thoughts. Hope chuckled, reminding her of the kid she'd taken under her wing all those years ago. That much... hadn't changed a bit.

"Goes to show how much you miss... when you start hiding yourself from everyone." So he hadn't missed that. He'd known her reason for shipping him off to school four years ago, away from her, away from the future he wanted. He caught her expression the moment those thoughts crossed her mind, proof that he knew her almost as well as she knew herself when his response caught up to her thoughts in a heartbeat. "Look, Light... I'm not blaming you. I get it... you wanted me to be happy, to live a _normal_ life." For some reason, his intonation on the word 'normal' rubbed her the wrong way.

"Is that wrong?" Her statement was carefully flat, carefully controlled, though she didn't think it would be for much longer.

"No! It's not..." His voice softened. "I get it. You want the best for others... but what about you?"

"What about me?" she hissed back, jerking away from him defensively. _Hope... just stop, stop talking... Leave me alone. _

He scrutinized her for a long moment; Lightning found it uncomfortable that he could now look down on her like she was some sort of pathetic weakling. _And maybe... that's exactly what I am. Someone who's only going through life because I made more than one promise to exist. _"Don't you remember what you promised?"

_He had to bring that up, didn't he?_ She knew he hadn't forgotten, but he didn't know the extent to that her pain and despair had eaten away. He didn't know that she couldn't do anything other than go through the motions, hoping that one would finally mean _something_, hoping that one would finally find some bigger meaning that would reopen life before her. He continued before Lightning had a chance to open her mouth.

"Light... I know you haven't exactly been doing well. But... don't you remember? You promised that you'd try to keep living... where is it?" The last words were almost a plea. "What happened?"

_Everything happened. _Unable to keep going, unable to keep living after she'd completed the one thing that kept her fighting, she'd crumbled under the pressure, letting her depression take over again...when there was nothing left to fight for. Her anguish had never stopped to be a part of her, but it seemed that in the moment the future she wanted to see came to be, it had come in and taken over the space left by the determination that had evaporated, quite literally, the morning after the Eclipse. And without Hope... she'd let it. It was probably her fault that _that_ had come to pass, but she'd told herself over and over in the ensuing years, that it had been the right thing to do. He needed a normal life... and he also didn't need to spend his time with someone who couldn't fight her way past depression that had never left.

Hope's strong grip suddenly supported her, gripping both her shoulders; Lightning realized she'd been about to fall. "That was blunt... Light, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that... I know you've been going through hell-"

"I know." Surprised that she had cut him off, Lightning found herself looking up into the familiar emerald gaze, looking up into the one expression that had convinced her to keep going all those years ago. And surprisingly, she found that she _did_ know. She hadn't said it because she wanted him to shut up, she'd said it because she'd meant it.

_Sometimes I wake, I see them reaching out for you  
>Quietly break whatever shields I spent so long building up.<br>I cannot fake, cause when they cry I'm unspoken;  
>They miss holding my baby...<em>

"I know," she repeated again, softer this time. "Hope... I'm sorry. I know how much... I know how it feels like to be pushed away by someone... Someone you love." There. She'd said it. The one word that meant so much, the one word she'd never allowed herself to say after her mother's death, because she didn't believe in it anymore. A gentle caress on her cheek surprised her for a moment, before Lightning realized she was crying again, silent tears not unnoticed by him.

"Light..." He was staring at her with an expression that was a mix of both surprise and understanding, and suddenly, she couldn't bear to look at him anymore. Turning her head away, she tried to get out of his grip, but he didn't let her. In this moment of her vulnerability and his determination, he was stronger than her.

_He always has been._ The moment that thought crossed her mind, Lightning knew it to be true. He'd looked up to her then because she could fight, because she could lead him to the fal'Cie Eden. But he was stronger where she was vulnerable - he'd let his mother's death empower him, lead him, as misguided as those feelings of rage were, whereas as she could do was kneel there and let every painful blow of Serah's death render her powerless against it.

He tried again. "Light, look... I know I've said it before, and I know you must have heard it a million times in these years. But... life goes on. And maybe, maybe the Eclipse was what brought you back last time, but don't you see? _This_ is the future you fought for, and this time... there's nothing that you did wrong." Hope sounded as desperate for her to believe him as she had all these years trying to convince herself. "Death is hard... and we know you'll never forget, but..." He hesitated. "But Serah wouldn't want you to stop living because she's gone. She wouldn't want you to continue to hurt even after so long. Sure... I didn't know her like you or Snow did, but I do know this: she loved you, and when you love someone, you don't want to see them in pain."

Lightning didn't know what to make of his words. That he believed they were true, there was no doubt. That he wanted her to move on, there was also no doubt. But did she? _What... do I want? _Searching inside, she realized that his words held some pigment of truth - they hit some deep, integral part of her she didn't want to let out. Letting the full impact of his words embrace her, Lightning realized, that deep inside, in some place she hadn't wanted to breach because it was too painful, she _wanted_ to stop hurting. She _wanted_ to move on... it was only that she never allowed herself to do so. Every time she thought she tried, the feelings would come back and snatch her, pulling her back down.

_Would I be... betraying Serah if I said I wanted to stop remembering? _She didn't know the answer.

"Light, I wasn't lying back then... when I said I needed you." Glancing up, she realized he was still looking at her with the same sad expression in his soulful viridian gaze, the same ones that had told her all those years ago that he'd been scared. Looking away again, slowly raising a hand to bury her face into, at first, she had no idea how to reply. Then, the words came, hoarse and rushed, as her emotion took hold of her again.

"But... I'm sorry." Her last two words came out as a choked whisper as she tried to embody everything she'd done wrong with him, or _to_ him, in the last four years. "I'm sorry... for pushing you away. I..." _I didn't know how I was supposed to feel. I didn't know if it was okay... for 'us' to exist, even if it was the future I wanted._ That much was true. The moment she'd achieved 'her' future, she'd bailed in the face of it, unable to process how she was supposed to feel and unable to think through how she felt about him. And so, she'd shipped him off to Eden, hoping that the distance would help her sort it out, hoping it would make up for the vow she couldn't give in her pain. Only that plan had backfired on her; instead of helping her realize what was and what wasn't, it only made her feel less certain about what they were. Instead of getting a better idea of what their relationship was, all she found that she could think about was that she needed his support, and she had not only deprived herself of that, but she'd also probably hurt _him _while she was at it.

_My hands, don't wanna start again;  
>My hands - no, they don't wanna understand,<br>They just shake and try to break whatever peace I may find...  
><em>

She didn't realize her forehead was resting on his shoulder until he gently brushed strands of pink hair out of her eyes. Gently, he pressed a finger to her lips, suddenly reminding her, starkly, of Serah, who had done the same thing so long ago. "It's okay... like I said, I never blamed you."

There was a long while where neither of them said anything, and she let the soft warmth of his hand that lingered on her cheek warm her. It had been so long since there had been any sort of human contact that had meant anything to her that she didn't pull away. "I need you too," she finally whispered. "It was stupid... I never should have sent you away when you didn't want to leave... Not when..." _Not when the need was mutual. Not when we both knew what was between us, not when I knew I was scared of what might have been. _

"It doesn't matter... I'm back now, alright?" She let him slowly pull his arms around her waist. This time, it was her who was leaning against his throat, feeling their combined heartbeats as she slowly calmed her breathing to match his, letting the calm drive her thoughts and emotions. He was right... just as he'd been years ago. Serah was gone... and like he'd said, she'd never forget. Last time, she'd let her sense of purpose pull her out from those depths. This time, without that, she wasn't sure if she could keep going. But it was also true... she wanted to stop grieving, as selfish as that thought was. There was a part of her that was tired of being in pain, tired of trying to hide it from everyone and struggle through her days like a despairing marionette on strings.

"Thank you." Her voice was muffled against him as she slowly reciprocated the gesture, slowly pulling her slender arms under his. "I promised... I'd try, didn't I?"

"You did," came the reply. "I want to see you actually_ try_ this time." The words held the smallest hint of amusement, as Serah's words came back to her, echoing across the time and space; its meaning transcending the medium in which it had been delivered. _'It'll be something beautiful that will come to exist in the future you fought so hard to save. I promise.'_

Pulling back hesitantly, Lightning examined his face for the anger and betrayal she'd for so long imagined would be there the moment he graduated from high school. Finding none, she found the hesitant expectation heavy in his emerald gaze... and there was something else. She struggled to place it for a moment, when finally, trawling through her memories, she found it. It was the same way Serah had looked at her, when she had agreed to let her go on her 'expedition' with Snow. Even now, admitting it to herself was hard, as a pinprick of embarrassment stabbed through her when she finally accepted it for what it was, what perhaps had always been.

"I...I know."

Her response seemed woefully inadequate, impossibly empty for the 'connection' that Serah had said existed so long ago. But just like that rainy day on the windowsill back at her house, she understood. Understood what it meant as a future for 'them', understood that neither of them needed to say it to confirm something that had begun so simply as a soldier looking after a terrified and anguished teenager, to what they were now. She was, quite simply, someone who needed the support and warmth she knew he would give... and as for him? He had as good as told her the same - the warmth of that was impossible to push away; the strange thing was, Lightning realized that there was no longer a reason to. There was only one logical thing to do - and that was to embrace this moment, to embrace all that had been and all that would be.

She didn't pull away when he gently pressed his lips to hers.

_My hands: they only agree to hold  
>Your hands; no, they don't wanna be without<em>  
><em>Your hands, and they will not let me go<br>_

_No, they will not let me go._

* * *

><p><strong>Oh. My. God. <strong>_  
><em>

**Oh my god.  
><strong>

**I can't believe... it's over. *whimpers* I will not start crying, I will not start crying...  
><strong>

**I can't believe that NR is over. *hugs herself* It's been such an incredible experience to write, and an incredible experience to delve into the FFXIII world and to develop and explore the characters that Square Enix has given us.  
><strong>

**And thus begins my long, long list of thank yous.  
><strong>

**First off, to all my readers, supporters, everyone who stuck with me and bore with me through all of this. I couldn't have finished NR without you, and I want you to know that. So, thank yous to: Snipperrolf, SquallRocks, OscarMerrinoz96, GCFarron, ziel101, Mylaervain, Zapper90, H-thar, Lightarcana, Crystal, Whistlewind Wolf, thewhitespirit, Erifrats101, That One Reviewee, Pilaris, Guardian of Valhalla, madapocket, SoraHikaru, Nas, Dhampire12, GazerBlitz, and all the other anonymous reviewers who sadly didn't leave a name for me to call them by. (And if I missed you, I'm sorry - I crunched through so many pages of reviews... hope I got you all).  
><strong>

**Of course, hearts to LadyAlaska, without whom I would never have found the courage to put this fic up.  
><strong>

**I never expected so much love, and so much positivity towards what was the very first fic I had the intention of finishing and actually publish on this site. *cries* Thank you all so much!  
><strong>

**To all the artists whose songs I have used throughout this fic - thank you. Your songs helped inspire so many points and set the theme for me to write by.  
><strong>

**I am also eternally grateful to Square Enix, for blessing us all with the game _Final Fantasy XIII._ The game came at a time of personal difficulty, and Lightning endeared herself to me before Chapter One was even finished. And of course, eternal reverence goes to Lightning herself, who will never stop being a part of my life, and who I _hope _we will all get to play in _Final Fantasy XIII-3_, which, Square, by the way, had better be announced soon. You trolled us all with that ending to XIII-2... apparently crystal stasis is a 'happy ending' *rolls eyes*.  
><strong>

**Now, onto the good news:  
><strong>

**I'm not leaving just because NR is done, in fact, I already have a new fic in the works. This one is a XIII AU, more focused on Serah and Snow (but where is one of my fics without my dear Lightning? xD Of course she'll be in it) than NR was. If you guys have read my oneshot _Concrete Angel_, it's similar in themes and ideas explored to that. That it'll be dark, there's no doubt about it. It's actually been in the works for quite awhile, and I'll actually be posting Chapter One very soon_, _as I did finish it while struggling through this epilogue - when I needed a break. It'll probably be only be sporadically updated until the end of June or so, just because well, I already know from that one chapter that it's going to be harder to write than NR for sure, and the beginning chapters especially, I want to set the tone right. Why after the end of June? Well, I'll have more time then and have taken a bit of a break from slaving away at chapters. I've already decided on a name for it though - my next fic will be entitled _Unw__ritten._  
><strong>

**So, with that, I bid you all sayonara, and hopefully I will see you all in Chapter One of _Unwritten_!  
><strong>

**Hearts!  
><strong>


	60. The Sequel's Announcement

So hey guys!

You're all probably wondering why the heck I'm updating this fic seeing as _Nascent Requiem_ has been completed as of awhile ago. Well, guess what? After some debates with myself and some friends, NR will be seeing a sequel in awhile! That's right, a sequel. I've since gotten some new ideas and such, and if I do say so myself, I love the character development that's happened in NR too much to let go of it so easily.

And so finally, I decided to give it a go after readers and other people alike have told me they'd _like_ to see a sequel to NR; so here we are. I don't want to reveal too much too soon, but I will say many of the things you guys saw in NR - action scenes, character development, and the final, eventual Hoperai that made itself present in the final chapters will for sure be there, and I, for one, am quite excited by this prospect!

It won't be posted for awhile yet, as I am currently working on my Final Fantasy XIII AU fic _Unwritten_, but do expect to see it soon this coming summer! Funnily enough, I haven't worked out all the plot details just yet, but I do know what it's going to be called: _Revenant Wings_.

So, my awesome fans and supporters, I'm excited for this sequel and I sincerely hope you guys will be as well!

I'll see you soon, if I'm not already seeing you in _Unwritten!_

Hearts!

Update, June 6th, 2012: _Revenant Wings _has been posted; I was tired of trying to struggle through a chapter of Unwritten, so I decided to switch over, and oh my gosh, my head is so clear trying to write RW!


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